Falling into Grace by Amalgam

PROLOGUE

By the time I slumped down flat on my stomach on the wet ground, I was panting heavily. This planet was way too damn hot and humid to run like this. The jungle wasn't making it any easier either, but at least I was safe, hidden by the dense undergrowth, my nose in the muddy foliage. As I heard angry shouts I closed my eyes and held my breath, trying to ignore the slimy insect that was creeping its way slowly up my neck. Fighting a strong urge to shudder, I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and waited for the voices to go away. The sound of my heart thudding loudly in my ears kept me from hearing for a few seconds my hunters as they passed by running and yelling at each other for losing my trail.

Only when I couldn't hear them anymore did I open my eyes and breathe out the sigh I'd been holding. With a swift move I shrugged the bug off me and cautiously stood. I looked around carefully, all of my senses alert, and came to the conclusion that it was safe to go back.

There I was, hot and dirty again. Way to freshen up Sam! But I was used to that. The run and the heat were nothing compared to the relief I felt when I dove into that waterfall. The one that was forbidden by some cultural moralities that I couldn't even begin to understand, let alone care about.

Besides, I wasn't the only one to violate that stupid rule. I was well aware that many villagers went to that fall to bathe and wash their clothes. Even Jaromi, an elder who was ideally the wisest, used to oppose himself to that law. And I knew that, deep down, he thought it funny that we should go and mock those who cared - even if it really wasn't my intention -, because they were essentially his enemies, the sole opponents to his wisdom and, of course, to his power. In fact, they had regrouped in a small community down the cliff and still worshiped the waterfall, even when most of the people who lived in the village up the cliff didn't care anymore. The - I guess you can call them priests - were armed and ready to pursue anyone that dared to even touch the water, but I'd always managed to lead them off and get away without a scratch. After all, I used to be an Air Force officer.

After three years on this planet, I was still keeping my old habits of a captain, keeping myself in shape - and as clean as possible. My hair was cut shorter than it ever was, both because it was easier to tend to and because it was more or less how I was used to wear it. There was no use for my gun but I always had it on me, maybe for reassurance that my old life wasn't totally gone.

The hope of getting back to Earth was long gone and dead now, but for some reason I needed to keep something to remind me of it. Imagine that, shot down on my first mission, presumably killed by an unknown poison. I don't blame my team for leaving me behind, even if I used to. A lot. But now I knew that, had I been the commanding officer, I probably would have done the same.

Or maybe not. I guess we'll never know. Everything had happened so fast. We'd been exploring, and Colonel Harrison was ordering me to collect some of the foliage when, ironically, the priests of the waterfall had attacked us. Apparently one of us, they said it was Lieutenant Parker, had drunk from the forbidden water. So we retreated hurriedly, but I never made it to the gate. I remember something hitting me, an arrow, most probably, and down I went.

Then I woke up, hours later, and found myself looking into Jaromi's concerned eyes. He had just cured me from whatever "evilness" had been running through my veins, and saved my life in the process. Something I was immensely grateful for now, but not so much when I first realized I couldn't get back home. Somehow my GDO was gone along with my pack and I knew that without those I didn't have any chance to get back through the gate. Besides, it had been my first time through and I couldn't even remember what the exact symbols for Earth were. I tried a lot of combinations, but without a dialing computer, I was lost. I even tried dialing to Abydos, knowing that SG-1 had established good relations with those people, but it didn't work. Either I didn't have the right combinations or the planetary drift was too high to establish a connection.

So I was trapped here.

Alone.

If it hadn't been from Jaromi, who greeted me with arms wide open in his village, I probably would have died of hunger - or loneliness.

Wiping the sweat on my forehead with the back of my hand, I lifted my foot over a large root and I knew without looking that I wasn't very far away from the one thing that still brought tears of homesickness to my eyes.

The Stargate.

Moving of their own volition, my hands parted the branches hiding the magnificent device from my sight. And then I looked.

It stood tall and menacing encircled by invading trees, and creepers had made their way around it over the years, giving it an abandoned and very lonely look.

As usual, my breath caught in my throat at the sight and I swallowed hard. Was I ever going to accept that my fate was to stay here? How to be happy here when I had the strong feeling that I was supposed to be out there, doing some grander thing? Visiting other planets, a dream of mine, had collapsed at the same moment as myself when I was hit three years ago. When was I gonna accept that?

Before I even realized I had moved, I was standing in front of the Stargate, unable to keep myself from feeling amazed and struck completely astounded with awe as I looked up at it. Walking closer I let my fingers trail slowly over the ever-cold metal, their tips taking in the carvings of the symbols, registering every detail.

Suddenly the ground started shaking under my feet, and I backed up a few steps, startled when the gate started spinning and the first chevron illuminated.

Someone was coming through.

Running in the safety of the jungle again, I crouched to the ground and watched while I waited. Maybe the Goa'uld had found their way here after all. If it were so, wouldn't it be better to run and alert Jaromi and the other villagers?

No, I had to stay here. Why, I didn't have the slightest idea, but I just knew, somehow, that my fate was going to change completely with those who would come through. For better or for worse.

Whoever they were.

A pang of hope sprung into my mind and lurched my gut painfully when the gate whooshed open. The event horizon shimmered brightly, contrasting with the dark and dense jungle that weighted above.

I couldn't hold myself still as I waited, until, finally, four figures stepped through. I moved silently a little closer to have a better look. When I glanced up again, my mouth hung open at the sight of their clothes.

They were Earth's military trousers and jackets. If I'd had binoculars, I wouldn't have been surprised to see the SGC patch on their arms.

Narrowing my eyes in a futile attempt to see more details, I observed each one of them. First, there was this man, tall, slender, a green cap making it impossible to see his face. His walk was relaxed, yet efficient, his P90 resting comfortably between his hands, as if it belonged there. Obviously military.

The man following behind wore glasses and walked almost clumsily, but it was easy to detect the curiosity of a scholar in the way he approached things; touching, smelling, looking closer. He definitely lacked the confidence of the military though, which evidently made him civilian.

Unable to resist, I moved closer still. The third member of the team was a woman, small compared to the men surrounding her. She obviously was military, her eyes moved purposefully, giving her surrounding a swift sweep before relaxing a little.

And then, my eyes fell to the last member of the team. I frowned when I recognized the mark on his forehead and the staff weapon in his hand. What on Earth would a Jaffa be doing with an SG team? It didn't make any sense, unless, of course, they weren't part of an SG team at all.

Prudence was a safe virtue and I decided to observe them some more before showing myself to them. Maybe I could learn who they really were and what they were doing back here in the first place.

Yep, it was time to use those stealth skills I had come to develop while escaping the crazy priests.

**********

end of prologue

**********

I was unusually jumpy, and it made me feel vulnerable. I didn't know how this planet was different from the others that we'd visited, but I felt.watched. Hunted, maybe, and that wasn't a reassuring thought. If that wasn't bad enough, add the bad weather and a jungle so thick and heavy you felt its weight on your shoulders. I exchanged a look with Daniel but he only seemed sympathetic so I shrugged and walked down the steps in front of the Stargate.

"Well, Daniel. How long do you think you're going to keep us in this hellhole?" I took off my cap and wiped the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand. How could it get so damn hot, wet and muddy?

"Just long enough to drive you crazy Jack," Daniel replied with a smartass grin that I had the urge to wipe from his face. "After all it's what I live for."

I threw him a sarcastic grin and decided it was better to move on and patrol the surroundings. The jungle was thick, very thick. In all my years on earth I'd never seen anything like it.But then again we weren't on Earth, were we? I could hardly see three feet in front of my nose because of the fog and the density of the undergrowth.

And that damn feeling I was being watched. I clutched my P90 a little harder and entered the jungle with what I hope was a confident stride. My team didn't need to know I felt uneasy around here.

"I got a feeling someone, or dare I say something, is watching me," Daniel observed nervously as his eyes scanned the surroundings warily.

"Is it not a phrase among your people that when one stares at the abyss for too long the abyss stares back?" Teal'c gave Daniel a grave and almost funny look. The archeologist nodded dumbly as Teal'c moved past him to inspect the woods.

"Sir I detect several life forms in the immediate surroundings," Jill announced with a note of excitement in her voice.

"Course you do Lieutenant." I replied sarcastically. She was always detecting something, life forms or not. "Let's see who it is, shall we?" I moved slowly towards the area Jill had indicated and just when I was about to strike, a family of weird-looking animals came rushing by, making extreme noise.

"Well that was an experience. Something to tell the grandkids." I grinned at Daniel who just rolled his eyes. "So Daniel, where to next?"

"The building the UAV spotted was just north of the Stargate. It must be man made, it was huge and stood well above the trees." He replied, his eyes suddenly lighting up with something I knew all too well.

I nodded, turning serious. "Okay, just remember what Hammond said about this planet, the villagers aren't that friendly and last time an SG team was here they lost one of their top scientist, so whatever you do, don't drink from the holy waterfall or bucket or whatever! Teal'c, take rear," I ordered, "Jill stay on that gizmo of yours. And Daniel, let's go!"

We moved slowly through the thick bush, and I ordered a break every few moments, convinced something was following us. It was as if my skin burnt everywhere invisible eyes observed me, and it gave me the creeps. I was so tense I could have snapped, but I hoped it didn't show to the others. We finally made it to a big waterfall, quite beautiful in fact - not that I would admit *that* to anyone -, but I realized it was probably the one the first SG team had been attacked over. Daniel approached the water carefully.

"Maybe there's some element in it that makes it unique." He explained as he bent over.

I threw him a warning look. "I'm not sure about this Daniel, something's been following us." Just as I was about to finish, I heard a rattling sound from the bush above me and it was enough to make me wind up for an attack. However, the green-eyed monster I expected to find was quite different; it was in fact a wide, blue-eyed woman who stared at me from the green.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she said in fluent English as she stepped out of the bush in one fluid move.

*****

Two P90s were swiftly directed to me, along with one Goa'uld staff weapon and four pairs of stunned eyes. I raised my hands in defense and stepped a few steps closer.

The younger man with glasses slowly stood from beside the water and observed me for a few seconds before suddenly shaking off from his stupor and, stepping forward, extended his hand in a very earthly gesture. Oh how good it felt!

"Hi I'm Daniel Jackson, this is Jack O'Neill, Teal'c and Lieutenant Jill." He said as he pointed to each of the members and I slowly shook his hand, observing them carefully, kind of shocked at his warm welcome. After all they didn't know me and I would have expected a 'shoot first and ask questions later' kind of greeting. Then it clicked.

"Daniel Jackson? From SG-1?" I asked, my eyes moving over to the one called O'Neill. Of course, Colonel Jack O'Neill, the one who had accompanied Jackson to Abydos and had helped the Abydonians free themselves from Ra. I knew all about their history, but I had never seen them before. Another point just illustrating the power of gossip, I guess. Then I remembered vaguely someone mentioning Teal'c. He'd given up everything on his planet to rescue SG-1 and then joined them in their cause. Quite a noble act for a Jaffa. However, I didn't recall anything about a fourth member. Had Jill been added to the team later on?

Jackson nodded slowly in answer to my questions, the ghost of a smile touching his lips as he let go of my hand and threw O'Neill a look. For the first time my eyes caught his and I was surprised at the depth of their brown, sending my stomach into a very unexpected flip. For God's sake Carter, get a grip! Just because the man had wonderful eyes, it didn't mean he wasn't a jerk, and from what I'd heard, he might be just that.

"And you are.?" He asked at last, throwing a quick meaningful look over at Jackson, obviously not approving his welcoming and obvious lack of prudence.

"Captain Samantha Carter, reporting sir!" I replied, snapping to attention with a quick salute. Gosh how weird it felt to do that again after three years! A shiver of excitement made its way quickly through me and I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face as he smoothly returned the salute.

"If I may sir, this is not a good place to be, we'd better head to the village, we'll be safer there." I suggested, knowing that the priests would very quickly be aware that someone was fussing over their waterfall. I had managed to escape earlier, but for some reason I didn't feel like repeating the experience twice in a day.

"Sure!" Jackson replied enthusiastically, earning a look from O'Neill again. The man obviously had his hands full with the archeologist. I moved my eyes from Jackson to his again and after a few seconds he nodded briefly.

"Lead the way Captain."

A grin spread across my face as I turned and led the group away from the waterfall. As soon as my back was to them, I heard whispers being exchanged between them - probably wondering where the hell I had just come from. But there was plenty of time for explaining, and as much as I wanted to get back home, they obviously had a mission to fulfill here, and I didn't want to get in their way. Besides, I needed time to say my good byes too. I had managed to make a lot of friends during the last couple of years and they didn't deserve me just deserting them. Especially Jaromi, to whom I owed my life.

"So, Captain," Jackson jumped in step with me, trying his best not to stumble over the uneven ground. "How long have you been here?"

I avoided a creeper and glanced at him briefly. "Over three years."

"Wow that must be."

"You said it." I cut him off, trying to fight the bitterness from my voice. Jackson didn't deserve it, he wasn't the one that had left me behind. I threw him another look but I realized he understood.

"You know it was hard at first," he went on, "when I decided to live on Abydos with my wife. It was hard to leave everything behind." He confessed and I felt his eyes on my face.

I shook my head. "It's not the same Dr. Jackson, you made the choice. You decided to be left behind." I argued quietly, looking at everything but him.

"Well maybe so, but it didn't make it any easier."

I stopped walking and turned to face him. The others were a couple of feet behind, so it would take them a few more minutes to catch up with us. "Look, Doctor, it's very kind of you to try to make me feel better, but I'd rather not talk about it right now. I don't think you have any idea what I've been through during the last couple of years so.let's just," I closed my eyes briefly, shaking the disturbing thoughts away, "let's just go to the village and you can do whatever mission you were sent to fulfill. And I can go home."

I turned on my heels again and resumed walking. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt me in any way, but I wasn't ready to admit to anyone what a nightmare it had been at first to be stuck here.

We walked the rest of the way in silence, and I was so caught up in my own thoughts that when I realized that Jackson had fallen back with the others, leaving me alone in the front, we were arriving.

*******

I was intrigued.

More than intrigued in fact, I was.impressed. Before us was a woman that, from the story I'd heard, was a top scientist, a physicist or whatever, an expert on Stargate technology, and a woman that had been declared KIA a few years ago. And yet, unless this jungle had a strong hallucinogenic power, she was very much alive and walking a few feet ahead of us, moving gracefully through the dense undergrowth that we were all stumbling and cursing over.

How weird was that?

Daniel had obviously pissed her off though! I have no idea what he could have told her, but I now had the proof that his charm didn't work all the time, which secretly felt damn good for an old guy like me.

"What do you think sir?" Jill asked from beside me. It had taken us a while - and lots of candidates - to find someone to "complete the team", as General Hammond had said. Our choice had settled temporarily on Jill, but it was clear in my mind that she wasn't here to stay, just like the nine other guys that had come before her. She just wasn't "it". I threw her a quick look, realizing she didn't really trust the woman in front of us. She always had a suspicious nature, especially when it came to people or.things.we met on other planets. One might believe that her brother had been abducted by aliens or something, from the way she acted sometimes. But that made her a rather good officer. Most of the time anyway. But maybe her suspicion was too far fetched this time. After all, Carter had once been one of us, was there any reason not to trust her now? I didn't think so, but hey, it was all very sudden, and I knew from experience that you can never be too careful.

"I think.right now she could be very helpful in assisting us with this mission." I replied at last, moving my eyes back to the slender figure leading the way. She was tall and confident, walking in big strides, somehow oblivious to the heat and huge mosquitoes flying about us. She was wearing a light shirt, with pants that seemed to hang to her thin waist only by a self-made belt and.military boots?

I saw Jill nod slowly from the corner of my eye and sighed. She was right, we needed to keep our distance and find out more about her first.

We walked up hill for a few more minutes until the jungle cleared a bit to reveal a small village. There were houses on the ground and some in the trees, and people were fussing around, doing their daily tasks. Whatever they were.

Carter led the way through, smiling in response to the enthusiastic waves she got as she walked confidently. She obviously knew where she was going. I picked up the pace to join her and as I stepped at her side she threw me a quick smile.

Any thought of what I might have wanted to say faded away as I stared unabashedly. She was a beautiful woman, big wide blue eyes, straight nose, strong yet delicate chin.and she was smiling at me. For a moment I was taken aback by her openness. She looked so happy to finally have someone she could relate to, her entire face reflected joy and excitement.

I was distracted from my observations when a small girl, about five, came running and tugged restlessly at Carter's pants. She smiled and looked down at the girl, ruffling the kid's hair swiftly. "Hey kiddo!"

I observed the exchange, surprised at the way everybody seemed to like her. What was it about her?

"Who are you?" The little girl suddenly asked me and I exchanged a look with Carter, whose face was now totally impassible.

"I'm.a friend." I replied at last. "I'm Jack." I added as I extended my hand, but the girl only stared, obviously not knowing that custom.

"Come on Giuly," Carter intervened, taking the girl's small hand in hers in a very possessive manner. I suddenly had the feeling I had managed to piss her off again.

Too damn bad.

She resumed walking, talking quietly with the kid, Giuly, and I realized it was our cue to follow her some more. But from the safety of a distance, this time.

"Do you think she's okay?" Daniel's voice startled me and I turned to face him; he had sympathy written all over his face. We started walking again, getting weird looks from the villagers.

"How the hell should I know?" I replied bitterly. It's not like I knew the woman! But I knew her style.Scientists. Goddamned frustrated scientists. I snorted mentally, and here I thought I was over that prejudice.

Daniel must have seen the change on my face because his sympathy suddenly seemed to turn to anger. "I think she just never expected to go home again." He replied as his gaze fell on Carter again.

So? What was I supposed to do about that? She may be pissed, but after all, it wasn't our fault, and I knew for having been there that nothing could take that anger away but time.

"Well, how about we finish what we came here to do?" I shrugged. "Then you'll have all the time in the world to psych her behavior."

He glared but I ignored him and his morality. Right now we had things to do, and not even a pissed captain-doctor could keep me from doing my job.

*******

I sent Giuly home with a smile and she ran happily away as we approached Jaromi's house. She was only two when I first arrived, and her mother - Jaromi's daughter - and I had immediately gotten along. I froze when the thought that I would have to leave them all sprung unbidden into my mind, but I shrugged it off quickly. There'd be time for this later, when I knew what the hell was going on. I stopped on the porch and looked behind me, watching as the team caught up with me.

The colonel's face was impassible, a bit nonchalant and my eyes narrowed. Who the hell did he think he was? I knew he was trying to gauge me, maybe even size me up as an officer, but he forgot one important thing. I was on my own ground here, and he wasn't. There was something in his attitude that down right unnerved me, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly. Was he maybe a little too self-confident? Or was it the way he just seemed to take everything lightly, as if nothing ever affected him? Well that would fit the description I'd got the first time I'd heard of him back in the SGC.

When they were only a few feet away I turned and knocked on the door, taking the opportunity to wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. I couldn't wait until it was night again, the only time when the temperature dropped a little, allowing everybody to breathe more easily. It was usually the time when people snuck out to the waterfall to freshen up and wash away the heat of the day.

One look at the team told me they'd probably want to freshen up themselves after the sun went down. Their t-shirt were darker with the mark of perspiration, all except for the Jaffa, Teal'c, who seemed to be able to adjust a lot more easily to high variations in temperatures. Amazing, really.

The door finally opened and Jaromi smiled at the sight of me standing there, his arms opening in an invitation for a hug. "Sam!" I went willingly, patting his back lightly until pulling back to introduce our new guests. His smile faded only slightly at the sight of the team as quick concern crossed his eyes and anxious lines appeared on his forehead. Then he was back at his old warm self and threw me an inquiring look.

"Jaromi, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, Lieutenant." I threw her a look, her name suddenly escaping my mind.

"Jill." She finished for me and I smiled apologetically.

".Jill, and Teal'c. They came through the Stargate." I explained with a meaningful look.

"I would be surprised if they had not, Sam, where else could they have come from? Unless this is the new clothing design the Haida opted for." He replied with laughter in his voice, eyeing the team up and down.

Clearly O'Neill didn't feel very comfortable with being observed and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his fingers tapping nervously against his P90. "Where else indeed." He muttered.

Then Jaromi took a step closer to them and Daniel walked forward, offering the elderly his hand to shake. "Jaromi, it's an honor to meet you and your people."

As opposed to Giuly, Jaromi got the message and shook Jackson's offered hand in his, trusting these newcomers as easily as he had trusted me.

"Please, come in," he offered at last as he walked back inside his cool house, Daniel, Jill and Teal'c following him. I watched them enter patiently, then met O'Neill's eyes when it was his turn.

He stopped as he passed by, and for a moment I thought he was going to say something, but then his mouth shut again and he looked away before walking in.

I sighed as I watched his back. Time to clear things up!

***********

I brushed past Carter and walked into the house. My first impression was that it was way roomier than it looked from the outside. The house was divided in three large parts, each separated from the others with thin clay walls. When my eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, I was surprised to realize that it was elegantly furnished, with wood-made tables and chairs and a comfortable looking bed in one of the rooms. The place was cool compared to the wet heat outside and it felt good after the long walk through the dense jungle.

With a wave of his hand, the man - Jarimo? Jaromi? - invited us to sit. I imitated Daniel, who always seems to know how to act in these situations, and sat at the table. Teal'c and Jill followed our lead and then Carter and.whatever his name was.

"So." Daniel began as his eyes moved from one face to the other.

"So," Carter spoke up, "why are you guys back here? I thought this planet would get thrown out of the dialing program as soon as my team got back. What's going on?"

"Well."Daniel began, "we only realized a short time ago that there could be more to this planet. You must be aware of a very large, very ancient building? It stands very high, and well above the jungle."

"The Ancient Temple." The old man confirmed. He was probably in his seventies, maybe more, but there was something about him that inspired respect.and maybe a little fear. I'd seen way too many generals with that look of his to have nightmares at night. But, in the way he and Carter had interacted, I figured he was probably a very nice old man. One thing was for sure though, that weird powerful aura of his didn't make me feel at ease. Not for a second.

"Yes!" Daniel went on enthusiastically. "Well we figured that it was probably Goa'uld in the making.and we thought that maybe we could find Naquadah there."

"Naquadah?" Carter intervened. "The material the Stargate is made of? I've never seen anything that could resemble it near that place."

"Oh!" Daniel raised his eyebrows. "So you've already been there?"

The old man smiled mysteriously and Carter exchanged a look with him before going on. "Yes. Actually I've set up a lab there."

A lab? Who - what - the hell was this woman? She'd lived for three years with strangers, in a hot and wet jungle, and she'd managed to build a lab? Who knows how long someone else would have lasted? Had she survived only by the strength of her will? Had she decided she was willing to keep enduring day after day of this humid hell without any chance of ever going home?

"A lab?" Daniel said out loud, and I wondered for a moment if he couldn't read my mind. Which kinda scared me.

"Sam likes to study the stars." The old man replied simply and Carter smiled at him.

"Oh so it's just an astronomy lab?" Jill asked, and I could see from the tone in her voice that she was very skeptical about all this.

"Well," the captain replied only slightly offended, "more or less. If you'd like I could take you all there tonight."

"Yes." Daniel threw me a look and I nodded. "That'd be great actually."

She nodded with a smile. The old man then got up. "Would you wish to be fed before night falls? You are all welcome to share our meal. Then if you wish, you can freshen up in the river."

"The river?" Daniel asked. "Isn't it sacred or anything? We thought Captain Carter was dead because someone had touched the water."

The old man nodded his head with a grave expression. "Yes, it was a sad incident. The priests of the Waterfall do not like their water spoiled with the presence of humans. But it is said that humans and all animals have been bathing, swimming and drinking there since the beginning of time."

"Yes but." Daniel went on, obviously in his questioning mode. "Isn't it.dangerous? We wouldn't want the.Priests to get mad and shoot us or anything."

"The Priests avoid the jungle during the night."

"Why's that?" Jill asked, as she popped a bubble with her chewing gum. That was a habit that I couldn't get used to, but I tolerated it as long as the popping sound didn't affect the outcome of the mission.

"Animals." The old man simply replied. Jill shot up her eyebrows, but I couldn't help but smile. That man knew how to control his people. He knew how to tell things to make them appear absolute.

"How about we discuss it over a meal?" Carter proposed then and my stomach agreed out loud.

She got up and spoke quietly with the old man, then turned to us. "If you want to wash up a bit before the meal, there's a bucket of water in that room over there," she said as she indicated the direction with a move of her head. "We'll try to fix you something worthy of the trip." She added with a smile.

Once again, I couldn't help but to be intrigued by the woman. She was obviously very attractive, with a smile to die for, but she also seemed.something else, that I couldn't put my finger on. It was as if she was.too good to be true maybe. Was she just happy to finally have someone from home to talk to again? But what about the way she'd looked at me before? As if I had done something to offend her.

I sensed a definite challenge in those looks.

And I certainly wasn't one to pass on a challenge.

*****

Dusk fell without us even realizing it. Dr. Jackson - Daniel - was curious and talkative, and I found that we got along well. We shared a lot of common interests and he had a very open mind about everything, especially the way Jaromi and his people lived. He also seemed eager to learn more about me and my past years on this planet, which was flattering, in a way.

Jill was mostly silent, but there was something about her attitude I didn't like much. She looked too indifferent to what was going on. She didn't once show that she was interested in what we were saying or what was happening. In fact, I thought she looked like someone who just wanted to go home; maybe on the verge of being rude. I even wondered why she was on SG-1 at all. I would have thought they'd have gone with someone more.focused on their job.

As for the Jaffa, Teal'c, he was silent, but I could tell by his expression that, at least, he was interested in what was being said. There was this quiet strength emanating from him that made me want to be his friend. He looked like a very loyal person and for some reason I felt I needed to return that loyalty to him.

As for O'Neill.It was hard to know what was going through his mind. The man obviously had a master's degree in 'keeping a straight face'. I'd tried sneaking glances at him from time to time, but for some reason he'd always catch me watching, so I'd turn away quickly. He didn't say much during the meal, but he'd often crack a joke or make a sarcastic remark, usually following some analysis Daniel had made. He looked like a man of his word though; straightforward, eager to do things right and. annoyingly handsome. Brown eyes so deep you could just look and bathe in them for hours, short hair, slightly grayish, pointing in all directions that made you want to ruffle it. But he also looked like a man with a heavy past and an experience of life only a few people could match. I was sure that he could be a total bastard to those he didn't like, and for some reason I felt I was on the edge of becoming one of these unlucky people. So basically he was military through and through, and perfect for the job he was doing.

"Should we bring those?" Jackson asked, suddenly bringing me out of my reverie. I looked in his direction and smiled at the way he held his sidearm in front of him. It was as if he hated touching it.

I joined the team outside Jaromi's house and sat beside him, on the little stone porch. "I don't think you'll have to use it, but bring it anyway. You never know what could be creeping in the jungle at night." I replied with a smile. Daniel made a face as he put his gun back at his waist.

"Is it far from here?" O'Neill asked as he approached us.

I shook my head. "No, I'd say the temple is about an hour from here. Tops."

He cringed. "An hour?"

"Well sir, I did suggest we go during the day." I told him as I stood and straightened my shoulders. "If you guys changed your mind, that's okay."

"No it's okay Carter. You said you set up the lab to study the stars so, we should see it at night."

For a moment I was surprised by the soft tone in his voice. I was already used to always hearing a tint of sarcasm, but this time there was none, and I was taken aback.

"Besides," he added, "there's no reason why we couldn't set up camp there, is there?"

I smiled. "No sir, it's a perfect place to spend the night."

"Good." He nodded. "Let's go then."

"Yes sir! You might wanna bring a change of clothes. It can get wet at night, it usually rains every night this time of year. It's not as bad as in the jungle but."

Daniel stood and raised an eyebrow. "How do you observe the stars if it's raining? Rain usually comes with clouds.doesn't it?"

"We've seen stranger things." O'Neill commented and I smiled. He was right, going through the Stargate was something so.fabulous, they must have seen lots of wonders during the last three years. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I decided to wait until we had more time to ourselves. The team seemed eager to leave, so I answered Daniel's question.

"The climate of this planet is very stable during what I calculated was eight months out of ten. During the two last months of the year, the temperature gets hotter, more humid, and it causes a depression every night. So I usually go to the lab during the eight months of nice temperature."

"See?" O'Neill commented with a hint of admiration as he turned to Daniel. Admiration? No. I probably interpreted it wrong. "You can't argue with that!" He went on with a small smile and for a moment I couldn't help but stare at him. He suddenly seemed in a good mood and I had no idea what had changed. Was he always like that? Swinging from one mood to the other in a matter of minutes? For some reason I didn't want to find out.

'Well if you guys are ready.?"

"Yep, lead the way Carter!"

A small smile formed on the corner of my mouth as I turned and started walking. It had occurred to me that, for some time now, O'Neill had gone from calling me 'Captain' to calling me 'Carter', and it was nice. It felt as though the team was getting used to me already, as though I was becoming more of a person to them. Especially Colonel O'Neill. Maybe it was just me, but I had the feeling that, for him, it meant a lot.

Thanks to SG-1, we didn't need to bring torches, since each of the team members had their own flashlight. We made our way through the thick foliage but we didn't progress as fast as I had wished in the perfect darkness. We still had a couple of hours before the rain started, but I didn't want to take any chance to be in the wild when it started so I picked up the pace.

I was surprised when Jill jumped in step with me. I smiled but her own impression of a smile didn't look convincing at all, so I turned my attention back to the narrow path.

"Are there really wild animals out there?" She suddenly asked and I couldn't help but smile. Jaromi had always had a gift of making everything he said believable. I shrugged. "Some."

"Should I be worried?" She asked and I realized she already *was* worried. I decided to put her out of her misery.

"Not really, Jill. There are animals, just like in any woods or jungles on Earth, but most of them are more scared of us than we are of them. Don't worry about it."

She nodded but she didn't look convinced. "So what brought you to the SGC?" Maybe if I started a conversation she'd relax a bit.

She looked at me with raised eyebrows for a moment, as if I wasn't supposed to know about the SGC. She shook her head with a small smile - the first since she'd got here. "Sorry," she said, "I almost forgot we were on another planet. I was transferred a couple of months ago. I'm a geologist by formation, and I guess being military was a good advantage so they recruited me. And here I am."

A couple of months ago? I would have thought SG-1 would keep their members permanently. What did I know? Something might have happened to the previous member. "So you weren't aware of the project before they called you?"

"Of course not!" She looked at me suspiciously. "Were you?"

"Well," I shrugged, "not before they called me, but I worked for two years on the Stargate before Dr. Jackson made it work."

"Oh." She seemed uncomfortable for a moment. "May I ask what happened to you?"

I sighed. Something told me I'd have to answer that question a lot. I could have told her to shut up and wait until the official debriefing, but I decided not to act like a jerk and tell her the truth. "Three years ago, I went on my first mission, right after SG-1 came back from Abydos the second time. Unfortunately, the Priests of the waterfall attacked us, and I got shot. They have these poisonous arrows and I guess that's what hit me. My team thought I was dead so they hurried back to Earth."

"But you weren't dead."

"Obviously, no. Jaromi found me and cured me from the poison and invited me to stay at the village with his people."

"You've *lived* there?" She asked with wide, incredulous eyes.

I frowned as I turned to look at her, answering with a careful: "yeah."

"My God, I can't imagine living with such primitive people! It must have been awful!"

Primitive? What was she talking about? Okay, so Jaromi's people weren't technologically very advanced, but who was she to judge them? Who was she to look down upon them? "With all due respect Lieutenant, you don't know what you're talking about. These people are not primitive. And even if they were, you're not in any position to judge them."

She looked surprised by my sudden outburst, but then shrugged, which only served to make me angrier.

"Something wrong ladies?" I heard O'Neill say from behind, and we both turned to look at him.

"No sir," Jill replied smoothly, "Captain Carter was just telling me about her experience on this planet."

O'Neill threw me a look, as if waiting for my version of the story, but I just shook my head and resumed walking. I felt bad about arguing with a member of his team, but damn it, she had touched a nerve! It also seemed that my first impression on Jill was confirming itself, no matter how hard I had wished otherwise. I didn't like the woman.

Controlling my temper, I tried to suppress my anger to the point of not knowing it was there. So it was with a cold but controlled voice that I spoke. "We should pick up the pace, or we'll never make it in time."

***

To be honest, I was relieved to have a "local", someone who knew the place, to escort us to the temple. I didn't want to imagine all the kinds of trouble we could have gotten ourselves into otherwise, not mentioning the high probabilities of getting lost. So we followed Carter on the narrow path, even if my definition of a path was quite different. The one we were walking on was recognizable only by a reduction of the denseness of the foliage. Carter seemed to know where she was going though, so I knew better than to argue.

Her little outburst towards Jill hadn't surprised me much. Daniel often got into those kinds of "discussions" with Jill. It was like she knew how to provoke people and she used that to her advantage. It usually didn't work for me because I didn't catch the bait, but for someone strongly principled, like Daniel, it was easy to get caught up in the trap. I didn't approve of that behavior, but there wasn't much I could do about it. However, I did believe Jill had gone a little too far this time. Wasn't it hard enough for Carter to be forced to leave her life behind without having a girl insulting her? Yep, Jill and I were gonna have a little one-to-one discussion. And if *that* didn't work, I knew what to do.

I kept an eye on things from this moment on, but Carter seemed perfectly calm and Jill seemed to have already forgotten the little incident. Which didn't really surprise me. We walked for about another half an hour, until the path began going up a jungle-covered hill.

"Is it still far away?" Daniel asked as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. The night was cooler than the day, but the rough walk had gotten the best of him.

Carter shook her head. "We just have to climb that slope and we'll be there," she said as she directed her flashlight towards the uphill path. "If you'd like we could take a break, although we *are* almost there."

I threw a look at Daniel. "No it's okay," he replied, "I was just wondering."

Yeah right.

Carter resumed walking but I shared her smile. She knew just as much as I did how tired Daniel was. We climbed the path for a couple of more minutes, until it suddenly stopped going up. When I looked up, a low whistle escaped my lips. The temple was.impressive, to say the least. The jungle cleared and a moon was illuminating the monument with a yellowish light. It was tall, and made of large, white bricks, that immediately reminded me of marble. Daniel had been wrong. No Goa'uld could have built something so. graceful.

"Wow." He breathed as he stepped beside me. "That's beautiful!" His amazement made me smile and I met Carter's eyes for a moment. Her smile matched mine as if we were sharing a secret understanding of the archeologist. I was surprised that she could be such a good judge of character. So far she seemed to have understood Daniel perfectly - which was an achievement in itself, and put Jill in her place. My smile froze on my face for a moment. What did she think of me?

"It appears that the Goa'uld did not build this temple O'Neill." Teal'c stated as he joined us.

"I think you're right about that." Daniel muttered, his eyes still riveted on the building in front of him, almost drinking in its sight.

"Shall we go in?" Carter asked as she observed us, a small smile tugging at her lips. Her skin was pale in the moonlight, and her eyes as dark as the night sky, and it struck me once again how beautiful she was. Of course I knew better than to judge a person by their appearance, but there was nothing wrong with looking. Was there? She was obviously proud of the way we'd reacted, and she looked happy. And something told me that *that* was a feeling she hadn't felt for a while. Of course maybe it was just wishful thinking. She could very well have been perfectly happy here during the last few years.

"Ladies and kids first," I replied with a grin as I stepped aside to let Daniel and Teal'c go first. I didn't have to twist Daniel's arm as he practically ran to the entrance that Carter and Jill had just crossed. I followed Teal'c at a more moderate pace, but I stopped nonetheless once inside the building. The exterior was impressive, but it compared in no way to what Carter had done with the interior.

It was a typical temple, just like any we could find on Earth, with tall columns and a wide, roomy hall. What was impressive, however, was what Carter had managed to build in the center of the room. It was, I assumed, a large telescope, mounted on a pedestal that seemed to originally be made for a statue. The telescope was simple, made out of wood for the most part, and I wondered for a moment if it really worked. The ceiling was open at that very spot, and the moonlight illuminated the room.

A fire began crackling and I realized Carter had been the one to build it while I was caught up in my observations of the homemade telescope. It was only then that I realized a huge part of the walls was covered with calculations, formulas and schemas. I frowned as I turned to look at Carter.

"Did you write these?" I asked, unable to contain the amazement from my voice.

She nodded and smiled a little self-consciously. "I'm a theoretical astrophysicist, remember?" She moved to one of the walls and trailed her fingers on the markings she had made.

"What do they mean?" I asked, truly curious. So that's how she had managed to keep from going nuts. She'd buried herself in work. I knew all too well what a good technique that was.

"Well," she moved to another wall, "this one counts the number of days I stayed here. From those numbers I was able to set a calendar of the seasons, months, days, hours."

I nodded, more than a little impressed. I understood nothing of the mathematical symbols she had used, but I knew she must be quite smart to figure out a calendar. She moved to another wall.

"This one has plans for an aqueduct and canal system for the village. This way they could have water up there instead of having to go down to the river every time they need water. It's not quite ready yet, but I think it should be in a couple of months."

I frowned. A couple of months? Did she intend on staying here? I had thought she'd be more than happy to go back to Earth, but maybe I had it wrong. Or maybe she had believed for so long that she couldn't go back home that it was profoundly anchored in her mind.

"What about that one?" I said as I pointed to another wall, the one that intrigued me the most. It was almost entirely covered with numbers, formulas, and drawings. It was obviously the one she'd used the most.

She smiled. It was obviously her favorite too. "Wormhole theories."

"The Stargate?"

She nodded. "Yes sir."

"Jack! Sam!" Daniel suddenly called and I realized he had disappeared in another room while I was talking with Carter. We made our way to the next room, and it was just as impressive as the main hall. This one was filled with plants, rocks, and bowls full of weird liquids. Was she a chemist too?

"This is my experiment room." She told us as she walked to the middle of the room. "Jaromi has a great knowledge of medicinal plants, but I figured it couldn't hurt to make some discoveries on my own."

I nodded vaguely as I looked around. This woman had sure kept busy!

"Colonel, there is some Naquadah in that rock collection." Jill suddenly intervened and Carter frowned, as if she was surprised by the fact.

"Really?" She asked as she walked to where Jill was standing with that little gizmo of hers. "I guess it is possible."

"You mind if we bring back some?" It was, after all, our primary objective.

"Of course not. Bring as much as you want!"

She moved to her plants and Daniel joined her. "Did you find out anything that could help on a medical level?" He asked as he touched and smelled some plants.

"Well," she replied as she moved to one plant in particular and touched a leaf, "this one, for example, is the antidote to the poison the Priests used on me. I don't know if it can cure anything else, but it can be helpful from time to time. I always keep some with me, you can never be too careful." She smiled as she moved to another plant. "This one, dried and drunk in an infusion, helps to relieve pain. This one," she moved again, "can be used as an antibiotic and, strangely enough, as soap."

I exchanged a look with Daniel and she seemed to understand as she went on. "Of course, you can take all the samples you want."

"Thanks!" Daniel replied, "This is all so amazing!"

"I'm just sorry I ruined the archeological aspect of it. I sure didn't expect anyone to be interested in the temple on a cultural level."

"No that's okay," Daniel assured her, "what you've discovered here is just amazing! I can assure you though," he added with a smile, "that the archeologists of the future will be totally screwed up when they find this place."

I wasn't sure what he meant, but Carter seemed to understand as she laughed a little. "Well," she sobered a bit, "if you're interested I did take some notes of the writings that were on the walls and statue before I went and wrote over it." Daniel's eyes seem to light up even more. "I.would love to see them!"

She nodded. "Okay, remind me when we're back at the village."

"Sure."

She then turned to me. "If you'd like, the waterfall isn't very far from here, we could go freshen up a bit."

I shrugged as I looked at my team. We were all hot, and I figured there was nothing wrong with that so I nodded. "Alright! Lead the way!"

****

"You sure the Priests don't come at night?" O'Neill asked, proving that he felt the safety of his team was more important than an unnecessary dive into the waterfall.

"They never have." I replied matter-of-factly as I charged my own gun and put it back at my waist.

I knew by experience that the Priests didn't guard the Waterfall during the night - more for ritual purposes than because of wild animals -, but I'd always come alone. I knew it was a lot easier to hide or escape alone than with people to watch out for. The flashlights, as helpful as they were, would soon have to be turned off, and SG-1 would need to be as stealthy as possible.

The rain might also be a real pain. As I had briefly explained Daniel before, it always started at about midnight every night this time of year, no matter how clear the sky was hours before. I knew that if we didn't move faster, we could get caught up in the deluge, and there was no saying how dangerous the river could become when it grew larger and flowed faster. The mud would stick to us, and the expression 'being stuck' would get a whole new meaning. If we were fast, we'd have some time before it started.

I accelerated the pace as we walked in silence. I could almost feel the tension in the team members. Without having to look, I knew Jill was nervous, and Daniel reluctant to do something "illegal". On the other hand, O'Neill seemed alert but efficient, and that was the perfect behavior for the situation. A behavior Teal'c seemed to share as well.

As we approached and the sound of the waterfall became audible, I turned to the team.

"From now on we'll have to walk in the complete dark," I whispered. "Also you'll have to be as silent as possible. The waterfall makes a lot of noise on its own, but sound does travel fast on the river. The Priests have their monastery a few miles above that ledge over there." I explained. "I doubt they'd come down here tonight, especially since they've had their fair share of running for the day, but be careful anyway."

They nodded and turned their flashlights off.

"I also suggest someone stays on the shore with the weapons in case something happens."

"That'd be me." O'Neill suggested. I turned to him to try and gauge his expression, but the darkness was making it impossible.

"Okay." I agreed. "I'll make a quick dive then you can go. I'll take the next watch."

He just shrugged so I nodded and resumed walking. It was only a couple of feet later that the jungle cleared to reveal the waterfall. Without the dense trees above us, one of the moons was giving us the proper light to see where to put our feet. However, it was also a big disadvantage; anyone could easily spot us. We'd have to be extremely careful.

And be gone before the rain started.

***

Carter was the first to dive. She was obviously very used to doing so as she swam around the little pound a formation of rocks had created. What had she meant when she'd said the Priests had had their fair share of running for the day? Had she come here today and the Priests had caught her? Was she escaping them when we got here? Had she followed us all that time? After all, if my estimation was correct, we were only a mile or two from the gate. It was very possible.

Daniel was the next to go, after taking off his boots and glasses. Carter showed him where to jump, and then Jill imitated him. Teal'c, on the other hand, only bent over and splashed water over his face.

After a couple of strokes Carter got out and walked over to where I was seated, on the shore. She sat beside me and I tried not to look at her, something I failed to accomplish, of course. Her short wet hair was beautifully tousled and her clothes were dripping all around her, and rather sensually sticking to her body. Not that I noticed.

"Aren't you going in Colonel?" She asked as she put back on her boots. "It really does feel good."

"She's right Jack!" Daniel added as he swam around, his obvious reluctance to do something forbidden suspiciously gone. "The water's not cold at all!"

"No thanks." I replied with a smile. I didn't mind swimming, but I did mind the aftermath: being wet. Especially when my clothes were wet too. And I certainly wasn't gonna jump naked, so that didn't leave me too many options.

I stood and walked to the river and, as Teal'c had done, bent over to splash water over my face and hair. It did feel good though! The water was probably the same temperature as the air so it made bathing very nice. But I resisted the temptation and walked back to where Carter was and sat down.

She was lost in her thoughts as she carefully watched the ledge where she'd said the Priests were. I realized she really was on watch. Her eyes also seemed to scan the sky worriedly from time to time and I got to thinking that she didn't tell us everything about what could be dangerous around here.

"What?" I asked, and I realized I had sounded bitter without wanting it.

She jumped at my tone and threw me a surprised look. "What "what"?" She asked with a frown.

"What are you worried about?" I didn't mean to make it sound like an accusation, but I'm afraid Carter took it as one.

She glared for a moment than turned her face up towards the sky again. "I'm just watching out for the rain. You really don't wanna be here when it starts."

I followed her gaze to the sky and relaxed a bit. Clearly we'd have time to see the clouds coming before it started raining. The sky was as clear as possible.

"It doesn't look like a rainy sky to me."

"It doesn't mean anything." She replied with vehemence. "We'll have to go soon." She said as she put her gun back at her waist. "Trust me on this, you really don't wanna be here or in the jungle when it rains."

"Why not?"

She stopped and threw me a long look. "Because when it rains, it rains so hard it's impossible to see your own feet. The raindrops are so big and falling so hard they can cause bruises, the river and the waterfall become way too fast too soon and the current way too strong for anyone to survive it. And because the mud resulting from the water would slow us down and we'd get stuck in the deluge." She began lacing her boot. "And believe me, you really don't want that."

"Oh." Was all I could say before getting up quickly. "Daniel, Jill, we're out of here! Come on!"

They exchanged a look but for once Daniel didn't question my orders. Just as they were getting out of the water, a sound made everyone stop moving.

"Damn." Carter whispered to herself as the thunder resounded again.

"It's still far right?" I asked without masking my concern.

She shook her head as she looked up again. "Not for long."

*****

"You really should have warned me about this!"

The thunder was so loud and so close I almost didn't hear O'Neill as he complained from behind me. We were running, but it was difficult to move fast without tripping over roots that we couldn't see without the proper light.

I wasn't taking them to the village or the temple, I knew we wouldn't be able to make the climb all the way to the top of the cliff. I knew of a shelter I had used once; it was a rock formation that could protect us from the rain. Unfortunately, it was very close to the Priest's monastery and it didn't protect us from a mudslide. We'd have to be careful in that area.

I glanced behind me to be sure everyone was still following me. Jill looked rather panicked, and Teal'c was looking at the sky with worried eyes. As for Daniel, he seemed to only concentrate on where to put his feet, and when he tripped I realized why. Then I met Colonel O'Neill's eyes and the icy look he threw me almost made me freeze on the spot. What had I done wrong? He had just switched moods from fun-to-be-around to being an ass in less than a minute!

I realized then that I hadn't answered his question, but I figured it could wait until we were safe. Right now we needed to find that shelter, otherwise, none of his animosity would matter. It hadn't started to rain yet, but I knew from experience that it wouldn't be long now. Another thunderclap resounded and I could almost feel the air and earth vibrating, and a shiver made its way up my spine.

This was gonna be a big one.

A terrifyingly strong lightning bolt lit the sky for a millisecond, and it allowed me to see where I was going. The shelter wasn't far from here, but we didn't have much time left. I accelerated my pace from a jog to a run and just as I was warning the team of a big root on the ground, I felt it.

A raindrop against my face.

The rain was starting.

****

Why the hell hadn't anyone told me that it was dangerous to be out there at night? No one had ever said nothing about that! Why hadn't *she* told me? She could at least have presented me the risks! Okay so she did say it might rain, but she didn't say how bad that would be! And now we were running like crazy through a jungle with a big honkin' thunderstorm just above our heads!

Where was she taking us? I didn't know this place, but I did know that the village was *not* in that direction! I felt a raindrop fall on my arm and started at the stinging pain it caused. We really needed to find cover!

"Carter!" I shouted over the thunder and the starting rain. "Where the hell are we going?"

She glanced at me quickly before looking ahead again. I thought she was ignoring my question again when she finally raised an arm and pointed in a direction. "There's a shelter less than a mile from here!" She shouted, and the sound of the storm was such that I almost didn't hear her despite her yelling.

I shook my head, annoyed. If I'd known a little dive into a waterfall - no matter how good it may have felt - could cause us so much trouble, I would have skipped my chance and stayed in the temple.

The rain was falling freely now and it felt as if the earth and sky was crying over us, without any restraint. Each raindrop stung sharply on my skin and I regretted not bringing my cap to protect my face and my eyes.

I almost collided with Carter when she suddenly stopped.

"I think it's that way!" She told me as she indicated to the right.

I blinked as I tried to have a look at her face. "You think?" I asked with growing despair. Had I been too eager to place so much confidence in her? Was Jill right to be suspicious?

Carter seemed to think for a moment, then shook her head. "No I'm sure, it's that way." She sounded convinced, so I followed her. Besides, did we really have any choice at this point?

We ran for a couple of more minutes, and despite the short time we'd been escaping, I was already soaked to the bone from head to toe. The night was cooler than the day, and I felt myself shiver when a cool gust of wind wiped through the jungle. Fog was beginning to appear at my feet when Carter shouted again.

"It's over there!"

I looked up and was relieved when I saw that there was indeed some sort of shelter a few meters ahead of us.

"Thank God!" I heard Daniel yell behind me, but all my attention was focused on getting to that rock.

A few minutes later we were there, and another shiver tingled up my spine when we finally got out of range of the rain. Daniel twisted his t-shirt and water dripped on the muddy ground. I turned to Carter who was wiping water from her face with her hands.

"Why didn't you tell me about this Carter?" I asked and she looked up at me at the harsh tone in my voice.

"I thought we'd be back at the temple by the time it started. We didn't move as fast as I had believed we would."

"Oh really? You still could have warned me about it!" I accused but she joined her hands behind her back in a military manner. I had almost forgotten.

"Yes sir." She replied sharply as she squared her shoulder and looked up in front of her.

What, that was it? No argument? I was surprised and for a moment a bit disconcerted. "So what now?" I asked to mask my surprise.

"Now we wait, and hope that the rain doesn't keep on falling all night long."

"Anything else that we should be worried about?" It was a rhetorical question so I was surprised when she replied.

"Yes sir." I met her glare and held it as she went on. "We should also hope that the rain doesn't keep on falling all night long, *because*", she emphasized the word, clearly telling me that I had interrupted her before. "This shelter doesn't keep us away from the danger of a mudslide. At this rate, the river is already twice as large and stronger than it usually is, and sometimes it causes natural disasters. Such as mudslides." She swallowed. "Sir."

Oh, a mudslide, of course! Just what we needed! I raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"The Priests are very, very close to here. We can only hope that they don't find us around here in the morning."

I made a face and crossed my arms over my chest. "Or what?"

"Actually I'm not sure Sir." A ghost of a smile appeared on her face, "that in itself should scare you a little. There's not much I don't know around here. But this is one thing I sure don't want to find out."

"Great!" I heard Jill sigh behind me, and I didn't need to turn to see that she was annoyed, and probably more than a little scared.

***

Seating alone in my little, wet, corner of the outcrop of rocks that protected us from the rain, I had all the time in the world to think about what was going on. O'Neill was right. I should have warned him about the rain. But I had honestly believed that we would make it in time, I'd lost the habit of taking care of other people. I'd always been on my own during the last few years. He couldn't ask me to change that over night. But had I really explained him that? Did he really know what it had been like to be stuck here?

I threw a glance in his direction. He was sitting in the opposite corner, his fingers relentlessly tapping on his thighs as he watched the rain falling. He obviously wasn't happy, but could I really blame him? I was the one who'd made a mistake here, and he and his team were the ones paying for it. I should have known better than to think I was no different from three years ago. Three years ago, I was military, not only officially, but in my entire being. I thought, acted and walked military. But now, I might still be military officially, I realized that it wasn't who I was anymore.

Who had I become, really? It was a philosophical question that I really didn't want to answer. But I realized then that I had changed, and that I could never be as I was before.

The rain seemed to intensify and I looked out worriedly. It had been an hour already and it hadn't stopped for a minute. From time to time a terrifying cracking sound would resound all around us and make the ground shake, and I knew that something terrible was happening to the jungle. It was being carried away the same way it was every year. A mudslide was taking everything away. All I could do was hope that it wouldn't come this way. We had managed to go up from the river, but we were still at risk. Maybe it'd be safer to keep on climbing.No, probably not. After all I had no way of knowing where it was safe to be. And I didn't think SG-1 would enjoy a mud bath. No, we had to wait until the rain was over.

And that meant a couple of hours.

"So, anyone got a deck of cards?" Daniel suddenly asked, breaking the heavy silence. I smiled but O'Neill sent him a very clear 'shut up' look. "Just looks like that rain won't stop for a while." He explained himself, but O'Neill just shook his head and looked out at the jungle again.

Daniel turned in my direction and returned my smile as he stood and came to sit beside me. "How long do you think?"

I glanced at the jungle. "There's really no way of knowing. A couple of hours, probably. It's always worst in the jungle than it is in the village.

He nodded as he followed my gaze outside. "It wasn't your fault, you know?" He said, his eyes still scanning the jungle.

"I'm afraid it was." I told him. "I really should have thought that five people would move more slowly than one. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about this."

I saw O'Neill shake his head, and I knew that I had managed to lose whatever confidence he'd had in my competence so far. But did it really matter? Why was I trying so hard to please him? To prove to him that I was a good soldier? I didn't have to do that! Once we were back home, there was a good chance I would never hear of him again. So why bother? Why endure his bad mood, accusations and sarcasms?

There was no reason at all.

Another cracking sound resounded, closer this time, followed by a terrifying rumble that seemed to come from under my feet. I jumped up at the sound and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand in response to my growing fear. This was bad. Really, really bad. And awfully close. The cracking and rumbling intensified and I knew we had to move and fast.

"Let's go!" Is all I said but no one questioned my order. We ran out from the shelter and back into the jungle. I knew where we had to go, but I wasn't sure how we were gonna get there. We had to go as high as possible, but it would ask a lot of time and patience to climb in the dark. The rain was stinging as sharply as before, but I figured it was a small price to pay to avoid what was coming toward us. We ran through the jungle, but even after a couple of minutes I still had the impression that the mudslide was chasing us. The sound was horrible and the wet ground was making our boots stick to the ground, which slowed us even more.

I sighed in relief when we finally got to a slope. It was our chance to climb higher, and I knew that a mudslide wouldn't surprise us there because it wasn't the river's natural course.

I turned around and looked at the team. Daniel was following me, then Jill, Teal'c and.

"Where's Colonel O'Neill?"

*****

Darkness.

Wetness.

Pain.

How had I managed to hit the jackpot this time? Opening my eyes for the second, painful time, I tried to see where I was exactly. Unfortunately, the darkness was as dark as the first time around, so I closed my eyes again and slumped back to the floor.

Okay, so there was a floor. A hard, wet floor. And a wall that I could lean against. So was this some sort of cell? As far as I could tell I was alone, but that could have been a trick of my painful head so I decided to check it out.

"Daniel? Teal'c?"

No response, which didn't surprise me whatsoever. I tried to sit and opened my eyes again, and when that head of mine didn't complain, I decided to stay that way. I could hear the rain outside and suddenly it all came back. The temple, Carter, the waterfall, the rain, Carter.

I remembered following her and my team away from a mudslide and then.

Blank.

I attempted standing but I soon changed my mind when a sharp, stinging pain revealed itself in my leg. Ouch. Okay so standing could wait. In the meantime, I could try to remember what the hell had happened to me, and hope that Carter had my team safe and sound somewhere far from here.

Wherever 'here' was.

******

I crouched as low to the ground as possible. Hopefully, Teal'c had taken Daniel and Jill back to the village by now, just like I had told him to do, and told Jaromi what had happened. Of course Daniel had insisted on coming with me, but he would only have slowed me down. I knew the land, I knew the risks and I knew where the Colonel had been taken.

The rain had calmed down a lot, but a mist had formed itself and the bruin was just a pain in the butt. However, I was already soaked to the bones, so a little more dampness wasn't gonna stop me. The mudslides seemed to have stopped as well, although I could still hear trees falling from time to time. It had done a lot of damage, but it was the same every year.

Except, I thought dryly as I moved closer to have a better look, I usually managed not to be in the open when it happened. I shook the thought away and concentrated on the monastery on the other side of the river. I picked up the binoculars Daniel had lent me and took a gander. The Priest's monastery was more or less a fortress built directly from the mountain, on a ledge that hovered above the river. From what I could see, it was heavily guarded, which was surprising. It was usually very quiet at night, so something must have happened. Something like a prisoner.

I crawled closer and tried to think of a way to cross the river without actually drowning. The rain had made it very powerful and its level was unusually high. I bit my lips as I thought of my chances of crossing that and actually making it to the other side. They were slim.

I had to find another way.

Deep down I knew what I had to do, but it would take a lot of time, and I knew by experience that I didn't have much of that. I'd have to follow the river up to a very high point where I knew it was safe to cross. From there I'd have to hug the mountain and walk down the river. Then the hardest part would be to actually climb down the mountain unnoticed to access the monastery.

I took in a deep breath and jumped to my feet. At least the mist gave me a big advantage. I gathered up my courage and began running.

"Hang on Colonel." I said out loud. "Just hang on!"

*****

If there was a way out of this place, I hadn't found it yet. The rising of dawn had brought some light into the cell, and I'd finally been able to look around without actually getting up. Apparently someone - and I had a pretty good idea who - had shot me in the thigh and left arm, and although there was a definite bleeding gash, there was no trace of what could have done so much damage. Except excruciating pain, of course. So it was stranded in the little corner of my cell that I observed my surroundings.

The cell was rather large, larger than I'd first thought and there were no windows whatsoever, only little slits at the top of the walls. I wondered if this wasn't a slow method of execution, to make people die from utter stench. It was hot, humid, and it seemed to heighten the smell, so I pulled my shirt up over my nose and mouth. Okay so it didn't smell like a blooming rose either, but it was definitely better than the putrid odor of the cell.

There was a plain door opposite me, and the thought of smashing in crossed my mind. However another swift sweep of the room told me it wouldn't be possible; there was absolutely nothing at all that I could use to strike and go through the door. And with the pain in my leg and arm, there was no way I'd be able to kick the door down and fight my way out of here.

So all I could do was wait.

Hopefully Carter had realized I wasn't following them anymore, and if she was real smart she'd got back to Earth to get reinforcements.

My heart skipped a beat when the thought that they'd leave me for dead and leave me here - like they had done to her - crossed my mind. Would they do that? I knew I wouldn't! Had I been her commanding officer when the accident happened, I would have blown this place to pieces, if it's what it'd taken, to get her back - dead or alive. Apparently not everybody in the Air Force had the same idea however, and Carter had had to pay the price. I sincerely hoped we'd learn from our mistake though! I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life - however short it might be - in this stinking prison.

I straightened when the door suddenly opened and three men entered. They were rather small, thin, and all dressed in the same weird-looking fashion. It would have been easy to take them out had I not been injured. I held their scrutinizing stare with feigned patience and frowned when one spoke.

I hadn't understood a word.

Obviously, Carter hadn't taught everybody on this planet how to speak English. What a shame! One of them spoke again, this time a little more urgently, but all I could do was shake my head.

"Sorry guys." I tried to sit straighter and winced at the pain, "I don't know what you're talking about."

One word too many!

Nothing like a hit to the head to make a guy humble. They were small, but surprisingly strong. I massaged my now painful jaw and self-consciously looked for blood, but I was relieved when there wasn't any.

The man asked his question again but I was starting to lose my patience so I raised my voice a bit. "Look guys, this is all interesting, but I ain't got no idea of what the hell you're saying! So just let me g-."

I was interrupted with another fist to the jaw and I slumped to the floor, only causing the pain in my left arm to return full force. From the corner of my eye I saw an evil grin appear on my persecutor's face, and was rather relieved when he turned on his heels and, followed by the others, left me alone again.

*****

It had taken longer than expected to climb the mountain in the mud, and I was exhausted when I finally reached the top. Bending over, hands on my thighs, I tried to catch my breath. The panorama from the mountain was incredible, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I rather focused on the descent, which, I realized with a sinking heart, wouldn't be any easier than the ascent. The sun was getting higher in the sky and the fog had dissipated a bit, so it gave me an opportunity to get some intel. Searching in my bag, I found Daniel's binoculars and took a look down.

The ledge where the monastery was posted was only a couple of meters down, but the cliff was awfully straight, and God knew I wasn't a climber.

I picked up the radio I'd taken from Jill. "Teal'c, Daniel, come in?"

I waited for a few seconds until I got a response. "Yeah Sam, it's Daniel. Have you found him yet?"

I sighed and took another look. There had to be an easier way down. "No not yet. I'm right above the Priest's monastery. There seems to be a lot of commotion down there, I'm confident Colonel O'Neill is their prisoner."

It took a few minutes until Daniel replied again, his voice sounding a little strained. "That's good right?"

I certainly hoped so, but how could I tell him I couldn't be sure he'd still be alive? I knew what the Priests were capable of. "Maybe," I finally told him, trying to keep my voice controlled. "Look, I'm gonna try to climb down the cliff, if I haven't contacted you in thirty minutes, go back to Earth and bring reinforcements."

It took another while before he finally responded slowly. "What are you saying?"

"Look Daniel, this cliff is steep, and I'm not sure I can make it. Just do what I tell you!" I insisted before adding an unnecessary and more sober "Please".

"Okay", he finally agreed and I took a deep breath.

"Wish me luck."

"You won't need it."

I nodded and smiled. "Carter out." I put the binoculars and radio back in my bag and took the Zat gun Teal'c had given me out to attach it at my waist. I was prepared to do anything to save one of my own, even if it meant taking human lives. I was determined not to let the Colonel go through the same fate as mine, and that began with climbing down the mountain while trying not to fall.

I began searching for an easier passage, and I found a ledge that went down relatively easily for a few meters. I gripped the edge of the cliff and let myself slide down, and dropped when my feet were hovering above the ledge. I landed safely and took a deep breath as I hugged the side of the cliff. I hadn't pulled a stunt like that for years, and my heart was beating so loudly in my ears I had trouble concentrating. I followed the narrow path, one of my hands always touching the wall at my right in order to keep my balance, and walked for a few meters until the ledge seemed to disappear.

I sighed in relief when I realized I was about halfway down to the monastery. There were guards but I knew the architectural blueprints of the place, and I knew how to get in, especially with the Zat. That thing would be very useful. So the problem was just to get there. I observed the side of the cliff and noticed a few holds and grips, but it would ask a lot of strength, patience, courage and.stupidity to take that way.

I took another deep breath and took the proverbial step. Just as I had done above, I took hold of the edge of the cliff, and let myself slide down. One of my feet came in contact with a hold, then my other foot. I took the chance and lowered one of my hands and, when everything seemed to hold, lowered the other one.

After a couple of minutes - that seemed like eternity - of struggling and pushing myself to the extreme, I finally touched the ground. I landed in a heap, and tried to stay as low as possible. There was some vegetation - not as dense as in the jungle though - so it made it easier for me to remain undetected. I took a few minutes to catch my breath then picked my radio again.

"Daniel" I whispered, "come in?"

A little static. "Yeah I'm here."

"Okay, I've successfully climbed down, so I'm going in now."

"Alright, good luck". I nodded, although he couldn't see me. "And tell Jack he owes me fifty bucks."

I frowned curiously but decided now was not a good time to ask questions. "Will do, Carter out."

*****

Some people say that pain is good, because it means that you're not dead. But I don't get it. Pain only means that you're not dead *yet*, but that it will come eventually, sooner or later, and bring relief and peace along with it.

After an injured arm and leg, I now had at least a concussion, a badly bruised ribcage and a twisted wrist. And damn it, it hurt! I didn't even bother to open my eyes when the Priests came in anymore. I wouldn't even say anything, because I knew they wouldn't understand or just bother to listen.

So it was with hope that it would be the last time that I heard the door of my cell open. For a moment there was no sound at all, and I frowned. This wasn't the priest's usual MO. He'd usually come in shouting and spitting and hitting, but certainly not stealthily. So who was this?

With a fluff of clothes, the intruder approached my corner and I felt him kneel at my side. I would have tried to open my eyes but damn my head hurt!

"Colonel?"

Headache was blown to hell as I opened my eyes in a flash. "Carter?" She was kneeling over me, observing me worriedly.

"Yes sir," she smiled and I felt her hand move over to my forehead. Her hand was cool and I closed my eyes again, relishing in the sensation. Was she really here? After all this time? How long had it been anyway? Three days? Two hours? I had no idea. All I knew was that I felt an indescribable relief at having Carter in here with me. She was here, wasn't she? Not without pain, I lifted my hand and touched her knee, just to be sure she was real.

It seemed like she was.

"I'm here," she assured, and her hand moved to the back of my neck. "Can you sit up?"

I opened my eyes again and considered it for a moment. "Sure, why not?."

With her help I managed to sit straighter and watched her for a moment as she searched in her little leather bag. She sure was a sight for sore eyes, she was muddy from head to toe, but it only added to her charm and I couldn't help but smile. Her eyes seemed to appear even wider and bluer in the dim light, and she smelled really, really good. Finally finding what she'd been looking for, she handed me some dried leaves that I recognized from her collection of medicinal plants.

"It'll help for the pain."

Thank God! I brought them to my mouth and, even if it tasted awful, it was better than nothing.

"Do you think you can move?" She suddenly asked, and I knew she was really, really hoping for a yes. "The Priests won't be back for a while, but I don't wanna take any chances."

"I suppose I can." I croaked. "Don't have much of a choice really." She nodded and passed her arm around my back, and helped me to stand. It was the first time that I was this close to her, and I couldn't help myself from leaning a little more into her, relishing her feminine curves and delightful smell. Was that lilac or something?

Obviously not aware of my inner contemplations, she looked up at me, her face determined and all business.

"Let's go."

"Carter," I wondered as we walked - in my case being dragged along, "how the hell are we gonna get out of here? I'm obviously not in my top shape."

"Don't worry. I've taken care of the guards."

I frowned. "How?"

She looked up at me cheekily. "You don't wanna know."

Fair enough.

If she'd used her "feminine attributes", I *really* didn't wanna know. We walked out of the cell as easily as she'd come in, and I couldn't help from being impressed with the woman at my side. She obviously had some combat training, otherwise she wouldn't have risked penetrating in this building. Alone.

"Where's the rest of my team?" I suddenly queried with a barely audible voice. Her senses always alert, she threw me a look.

"Back at the village."

I nodded. "Good."

"I had a hard time convincing them I'd be better off alone though. You're lucky," she added with a small, sad smile, "your team cares about you."

My heart sank at the thought that her team hadn't cared enough to bring her back home, even if they'd thought she was dead. That was just something I could never consider. No one gets left behind. Everybody should know that. I was about to reply when she stopped me with a raised hand. For a moment we stopped moving and listened carefully. It was easier to breathe in the dark passage way and I took the opportunity to catch my breath. I hadn't realized I'd been panting from the painful effort of walking - being dragged. When it seemed she didn't hear anything, she resumed walking, and dragged me along with her.

Frankly, I was amazed that she knew exactly just where to go. This place was a labyrinth in which each corridor led to another over and over. It was a good thing I hadn't tried to escape on my own, because I probably would have gotten myself lost in the process.

Finally, we saw the light of day at the end of the corridor - literally - and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're not out of the woods yet." Carter's morose voice made me look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Getting out of here was the easy part." She replied evenly. "We still have to climb up the cliff, then make our way down the mountain, cross the river and walk back to the temple.

"Where's the shortcut?" I asked lightly, but she shook her head, deflecting the joking tone in my voice. Okay so she was right, it was one hell of a journey that awaited me and to be honest, I wasn't sure I'd be able to do.all those things. The leaves had helped a little, but I felt stiff and it still hurt everywhere. "Nah," I finally replied with a lopsided grin, "piece of cake Carter."

She nodded quickly, playing the game after all. "Yes sir, piece of cake."

*****

He was in pain, and it killed me to know that there was nothing I could do to help him, at least not until we were back safe at the temple.

It had been with immense relief that I'd found a path leading from the monastery to the top of the cliff, this way we didn't have to actually hike our way to the top. I was concerned about O'Neill's injuries though. Even if he was too proud to actually complain, I knew he must have been in terrible pain. The wound on his left arm seemed relatively okay, but the one on his leg looked infected, and his wrist was worriedly swollen. What had they done to him?

I felt a swell of anger rise up in my chest, and O'Neill must have felt my body stiffen because he threw me a look. "Are you OK?" He panted, his lips a thin line and a deep frown shadowing his eyes. The grimace was actually the only ting that told me he was suffering.

We were close to the part of the river we'd have to cross now, and I believed it was safe to take a little break. "Yes sir," I replied as I looked around for a potential rest place. "We'll take a little break here." I stopped and gently took his arm away from my shoulder as I helped him sit.

"Got anymore of those leaves Carter?" He closed his eyes and rested his head against the rock behind him.

"Yes sir." I handed him the plant and stood again. "I'll go get some water, I'll be right back."

As I approached the river, I picked up my radio, I was nearing the deadline and Daniel must be worried sick by now. "Daniel? Teal'c? Come in?"

"Sam!" Came the relived response and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah Daniel it's me, I've got Colonel O'Neill with me. He's okay, although he has some bad injuries."

"Thank God," he breathed and I nodded as I bent over the water to take some into my flask.

"Yeah, we should be at the temple in about an hour or so. We'll stay there for a while, I need to treat his wounds. Join us there, and bring Jaromi with you, he's better at this healing thing than I am."

"Will do."

"Carter out."

I walked back to the Colonel and kneeled at his side. He slowly opened his eyes and his lips quirked up when I handed him my flask.

"Thanks," he looked so tired I felt bad about pushing him so much. But I had no choice, the Zat had worked perfectly, but I wasn't sure how long its effect lasted. And I knew that they would probably come looking for us when they realized their prisoner had escaped.

As if understanding my inner debate, the Colonel glanced up at me, and my eyes locked with his. "Carter, I'm not sure I can keep on going. You go and come back with reinforcements."

I shook my head. "Very honorable sir, but no. I am not leaving you here, not after we've come all this way."

"Carter."

I cut him off. "We should keep on going Colonel. We're almost there."

He seemed annoyed for a moment, but then nodded. He winced when I helped him up and I gave him some time to regain some composure. Then we walked to the river. The level had reduced considerably and I felt relieved at the thought that it would be a lot easier than when I first crossed. Besides, the water might do the Colonel's leg some good. We entered the water slowly, and I was relieved when I felt the current had diminished as well.

I tried to move at O'Neill's pace, but I knew he was making extreme effort to actually walk. He was panting heavily and his hand clung desperately to my shirt and shoulder. We had water up to our knees when he suddenly slipped and fell on his back, almost bringing me with him. He cursed but I caught his vest with both of my hands, catching him before the current carried him away.

I realized it would be a lot easier to cross this way, me pulling him, than him trying to walk and tire himself out. He tried to stand again but I stopped him.

"Colonel just relax, let yourself float, I'll pull you to the shore."

He complained only slightly before he swallowed a gulp of water and coughed it off. I smiled when he closed his eyes again, and let me do my job without complaining.

He obviously was a very proud man, and I admired his logical and pragmatism. He knew what his limits were, and yet he'd try to defy them, maybe to the point of risking his own life, I supposed. But I knew he was just the kind of man who lived things deeply and with a passion, even if it wasn't the first impression I'd got. He played his cards close to his chest but I knew he fought for what he believed in, and that seemed to include life. Especially life of others.

I pulled him to the shore and dropped myself on the ground to take a few seconds to catch my breath. He wasn't particularly heavy, but he wasn't light either and the current had been stronger in the middle of the river.

His hand reached blindly for me and I took it in mine, giving it a light squeeze that made him open his eyes and look up at me.

"Thanks." Was all he said and I smiled down at him. We stayed this way for a while, holding hands, and it felt good to have someone to hold on to. After a few minutes I helped him up again and, as he leaned against me, he let out a little moan of frustration.

"God I hate being wet."

*****

I would have made a little happy dance had I not been injured when the temple came into view. It was as impressive in the light of day as it was at night, with the sunrays reflecting on its white bricks. It looked as though it was shining.

"Just a couple of more steps Colonel." Carter encouraged me, but I felt it was to encourage herself just as much. After all she'd had to support my weight for hours and I knew that even if she appeared strong, she must have been just as tired as I was.

We finally reached the main hall and I dropped myself to the floor, not without wincing with the pain. Damn, it hurt! Carter didn't waste a second to move to her "experiment room" and come back a few minutes later with her hands full of plants and other preparations. She lit a fire and put some water to boil, then hurried back to my side.

Her cool hand found my forehead again and her eyes turned worried.

"Fever?" I croaked as a chill made its way up my spine.

"Yes sir, but I have some antibiotics that should stop the infection."

I frowned. "Infection?"

"Your leg."

I looked down and realized the gash had swollen and turned a weird shade of color. "Oh."

She put some leaves in the boiling water and brought the bowl to me. "Here," she approached the hot liquid to my mouth, "this will help."

I took a careful sip of the hot liquid, and was rather relieved when I realized it actually tasted good. She placed the bowl into my hand and leaned back. "Sir I'm gonna need to clean that wound," she seemed uncomfortable as she indicated my thigh with a vague wave her of hand.

I nodded, and let an evil smile form on my lips. "Yeah, I know. You better behave." I warned with a playfully scolding finger.

She seemed to relax and smiled in return. "Don't worry Colonel," she replied in a playful tone, "I wouldn't dream of 'not behaving,"

Too damn bad! I caught her eyes and my heart skipped a beat at how deep and blue her eyes were. For a moment I couldn't see or feel anything else but her, and it kinda scared me that she seemed to be able to read into my very soul. But I didn't move, not an inch, so lost I was into her eyes. On its own volition, my hand traveled up and my fingers touched her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into the caress as her own hand came to cover mine. When she opened her eyes again, I was surprised to find them even darker than before and my breath caught in my throat. It was as if all of my emotions were reflected in her eyes and I wasn't sure what to do. An opportunist would probably have leaned in and pressed his lips on hers, and it was something I was tremendously tempted to do, but as always, my mouth seemed to work faster than my brain and I heard myself reply a stupidity.

"What did you put in that infusion Carter?"

She chuckled but it broke the eye contact and I reluctantly let her go. She went back to business and she tore my pants a little so she had a better look at the wound.

"Careful Carter, these are my favorites."

She threw me a swift amused glance before going back to work. I gasped when she applied something that felt like alcohol but I tried not to move so she could do her job.

"Sorry sir, but I need to clean it." She apologized but I merely nodded, not trusting my voice. The torture went on for a couple of more seconds, until she applied a preparation of leaves, mud and probably other things I didn't care to know about. It immediately calmed the pain and I breathed more easily.

"We need to bring some of *that* home."

She smiled again and I relaxed when the pain subsided some more. "I agree, it's very efficient."

"Hours of fun for Fraiser." I muttered as I imagined the doctor's face when we brought back some miracle analgesic.

Carter frowned as she bandaged my thigh. "Who's Fraiser?"

Oh. Right. "Doctor Fraiser," I explained, "she's the head doctor at the SGC. You'll like her, she can be scary from time to time, but she's good." I threw her a grin. "Don't tell her I've said that."

She smiled and leant back after a final knot on the bandage. "There! All done. Jaromi will probably want to take a look at it, but it should be okay for now. How's the wound on your arm?"

"I think it'll be alright."

She nodded as she examined it with scrutinizing eyes. "It doesn't look infected, but I'll bandage it just to be sure." She applied the same painful and relieving treatment on it as she had on my leg and I felt immediately better. Then she moved to my other side and gently took my twisted wrist in her hands.

Okay, that hurt!

I winced and she made an apologetic face. "No it's okay, I know you have to do this." I whispered through gritted teeth. Her fingers carefully searched for broken bones and I stiffened when she touched a sensible spot.

"I don't think it's broken," she diagnosed as she placed my hand back in my lap. "Fortunately for you," she chuckled bitterly, "I won't have to set it." She pulled another bandage from her bag and gently took my arm again.

She glanced up at me and her face suddenly turned serious. "Colonel," she began with a small voice, "I know I can't take back what happened, but I'm really, really sorry about all this. If I hadn't been so careless, none of this would have happened."

With my free hand I touched her arm and grabbed it strongly. "Carter, I don't blame you. Not anymore anyway."

She nodded, obviously not convinced. "It's just that," she went on, "I've been trapped here alone for more than three years and I've come to depend on no one but myself. I can take care of myself, but I hadn't realized I wasn't used to take care of others anymore."

She seemed so entranced in her admission that I didn't think she'd heard me if I'd said anything. So I kept my mouth shut and listened to what she had to say. I had the feeling that it had weighted heavy on her heart to keep all this to herself for so long.

"So when I realized you were gone, I knew what a big mistake I'd made. I'd assumed I was just as good as anyone else. I've always thought I was a good soldier, but I realized then that it wasn't who I was anymore."

Her bandage was finished for a while now, but she kept my arm securely in her hands as if she hadn't realized it.

"And it scared me." She admitted as her eyes met mine briefly again. "I mean, what happens when I get back home? What will I do if I can't become a fully devoted member of the military? It's been my life for over fifteen years!"

"I'm sure we can think of something." My voice seemed to snap her back and she gently let go of my arm, but I reinforced my grip on her arm. "Carter, you're a good soldier, I've seen it. You shouldn't worry about what happens next." I released her arm a bit. "And for what it's worth," I added as I eyed her carefully, not sure how she'd respond to my next words, "I would never have left you behind, even if you weren't half as good as you are."

I thought I'd gone too far when her face seemed to decompose and unshed tears appeared in her eyes. But she shook her head and looked away as she sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I know." She croaked as she locked her eyes on mine again. "And that's just it! Why couldn't it be SG-1 that I joined in the first place? Why did I have to fall on people so." She stopped and wiped her eyes with a frustrated hand. "Why couldn't it have happened differently?" She looked so desperate, my hand moved from her arm to her hand and I clasped it in mine. She looked down at our joined hand and closed her eyes. "Why couldn't I have fallen on someone like you?"

"You have." I replied, choked by such a demonstration of emotion. I wasn't sure how to react, Daniel was usually the good one at those things, but what scared me most, is that I cared. I really cared. "It only took a little longer than you thought."

The ghost of a smile appeared on her mouth and I let go of her hand. She nodded and moved a little further back as she looked around, as if searching for another subject of conversation. I sure didn't complain!

"By the way," she spoke in a falsely light tone of voice, "Daniel says you owe him fifty bucks, although he hasn't told me why."

I grinned, happy by the change of subject, as I remembered the bet we'd made after a couple of beers a few days before. "That's right, I do." When I realized she didn't know what I was talking about I explained. "The other night I was teasing him about the proven fact that he's always the one getting us into trouble. Which is usually true, by the way", I added as I smiled. "He said he'd bet fifty bucks that I would be the one to get into trouble on our next mission. And damn the kid, he was right!"

She chuckled through unshed tears and sat down beside me, our shoulders brushing. "So tell me, you must have seen lots of wonderful things in your travels."

"Oh yeah," I agreed, deciding some talking on my part could take her previous dark thoughts away, "the weirdest was to see Teal'c wearing a dress on '894.."

****

It wasn't very long after that that Daniel came in running, closely followed by Jill. Jaromi entered the temple moments later, Teal'c on his heels.

"Are you guys okay?" Daniel asked as kneeled in front of us.

"Yeah, we'll be fine." The colonel replied from beside me as I stood and walked to Jaromi. The trip from the village seemed to have tired him, but he looked relieved to see that we were okay.

"Jaromi!" I called as I walked to him. "Thanks for coming! Colonel O'Neill is wounded and I didn't know."

He cut me off as he framed my face with his hands, his eyes searching my face. "I know, but are *you* well?"

I smiled at his worried tone, it was selfishly nice to have someone worry about you. "Yeah, I'm fine. Colonel O'Neill needs your help though."

He nodded as he moved to the man still sitting against the wall. Daniel and the rest of the team joined me as Jaromi examined the colonel.

"He's gonna be okay right?" Daniel asked again without masking his concern.

"Yeah," I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "he'll be fine, don't worry." I pulled out the radio from my bag and handed it back to Jill. She looked tired and suspiciously subdued, so much that I wondered if something had happened while we'd been gone. "Thanks." I told her and she took the radio absentmindedly.

I turned to Teal'c and handed him back his Zat, but to my surprise he shook his head and put a hand on my arm. "I wish you to keep it Captain Carter," he said in a grave voice, "it may be a useful weapon to a warrior of great skill." He bowed gracefully and I put back the gun into my bag, too choked up to say anything. I felt the moisture come back to my eyes and I looked away with a watery smile.

Jaromi came back at that moment and I focused my attention on what he had to say. "The wounds are bad," he announced and I felt my heart hit my toes. Had I been too late? "But," he went on as he smiled at me, "Sam has treated them well. There is nothing more I can do, and it seems he will make a perfect recovery."

I breathed out a sigh of relief and took Jaromi's hand to give it a squeeze. "Thank you."

"Anyone wanna help me up?" The annoyed voice of the Colonel made us turn in his direction. "Please?" he added with raised eyebrows. I smiled as Daniel walked to him and gave him a hand. The Colonel had complained more since Daniel had arrived than in all the time he'd been with me. It was as if he liked pushing Daniel's buttons to the max and it made me smile. It just looked like the kind of relationship they had.

Daniel turned to me with an exasperated look. "I hope he didn't give you too much trouble," he said as he threw the Colonel a meaningful look.

O'Neill shrugged and threw me an amused glance. "Oh no, I was really nice actually, right Carter? Even when she tore apart my favorite pants."

Daniel rolled his eyes as he helped his friend to walk. "Jack, you have at least five other identical pairs of pants."

"So? I liked these ones!" He complained and I couldn't help but smile at his childish expression.

"Sam," Daniel asked, obviously ignoring the Colonel's complaining as he leaned on him, "You mind if we stay here today? I'd really like to see more of this temple, and it'd give Jack a chance to recover." I smiled as the Colonel opened his mouth to complain again so I decided to put Daniel out of his misery.

"Sure Daniel, I'll take Jaromi back to the village and I'll bring the notes I told you about."

He nodded and I turned to the Colonel. "Colonel, you should get some rest, we've been up for more than twenty four hours. You need to get your strength back if you're gonna make it to the Stargate."

"What about you?" He replied, his face suddenly grown serious again, and his eyes searching my face carefully.

"I'm fine, I'll catch some sleep later. Right now," I added as I picked my bag again, "I need to go. I'll see you guys in a couple of hours."

I followed Jaromi outside the temple and we walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until he broke it with a subject of conversation I had been apprehending ever since SG-1 had got here.

"You like them." He stated and I nodded with a smile, knowing exactly whom he was referring to.

"Yeah, it's good to have someone from home to talk to." He nodded before I even realized what I'd just said. "Jaromi, it's not that I don't feel at home here, but."

He cut me off. "I know, Sam. I have always known. You do not belong here, but everybody in the village has grown to love you and accept you as one of their own. It will not be easy for them to let you go."

I knew he was more talking about himself than the rest of the village, but I didn't point it out, I knew it was his way of dealing with this. I stopped walking and with a hand on his arm made him turn so he was looking at me. His face was drawn and he looked older than he never did. I felt my heart squeeze tightly in my chest. "Look., I can never tell you enough how grateful I am for everything you did for me. I mean, you saved my life, greeted me as if I was your own daughter, and you've been more of a father to me in the last three years than my real father ever was in thirty years. But.I still have to go."

He looked at me for a long time and I held his stare until I felt tears prick at my eyes again. Damn it, what was it with me today? I turned and wiped the tears with a frustrated hand and began walking again, until I felt his reassuring hand on my shoulder. I turned quickly and, seeing the invitation in his eyes, I went into his arms. And then something inside of me broke.

And I cried.

****

I spent the day either sleeping or bothering Daniel. There wasn't much for me to do under the circumstances; we didn't need to check the perimeter, no need to explore any more than we already had. So I sat, leaning against a wall up until Carter came back, a few hours after she'd gone.

She went first to Daniel and handed him a notebook, then walked back towards me and sat. She looked exhausted and sadder than I'd ever seen her. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes red with fatigue, and her hair disheveled.

"You ok?"

She turned to me with a sad smile, then looked ahead again. "I will be."

"You should get some sleep you know?" I suggested, but I was surprised by her bitter chuckle.

"Right." She shook her head. "Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could." Her voice was shaking and I knew she was on the verge of breaking down.

I leaned forward to have a better look at her face. "Did something happen? You were fine earlier.?"

She shook her head, still avoiding to meet my gaze. "No nothing. It's just." She leaned her forehead on her hand and closed her eyes. "God I'm tired."

I resisted the urge to touch her, knowing that Daniel, Jill and Teal'c were only meters away, and not exactly knowing why that bothered me. I guess I wasn't used to show my affection anymore and, stupidly enough, it embarrassed me.

"Carter," I took my 'Colonel voice', "get some sleep, that's an order."

She opened her eyes again and my breath caught in my throat at how much sadness there was in them. My hand twitched again with the need to reach out for her and comfort her, but I resisted again. I resisted until she suddenly reached for me and buried her head in my shoulder, her hands clutching desperately at my vest, as if her life depended on it. Too shocked to say anything, I slowly moved my hand to her head and caressed her hair in what I hoped was a gesture of comfort. She didn't cry, which didn't surprise me in someone as strong as her, but I knew she was fighting mighty hard not to let go.

Slowly her grip on my vest loosened but I kept her there, her head on my shoulder and my hand still caressing her hair, until I realized she'd fallen asleep. It must have been one hell of a few days for her; first meeting with us and realizing she could go home after all this time, dragging us up here and mounting a rescue mission in the middle of the night, having to support my weight and my complaining for hours, having to say goodbye to people I supposed she considered like family. Not considering crawling and running in mud for most part of the day and night. It must have been damn hard for her, no matter how strong she was.

"Jack! I think this is the most amazing find of the yea-." Daniel stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up to find Carter sleeping against my shoulder. What? Stranger things have happened! I silenced him with a finger on my lips and he tiptoed to approach us and crouched beside me.

"Is she ok?" He asked as his eyes took in the sleeping form at my side.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. What's up?"

He observed Carter for a little longer until he turned his attention to me. "Sam's notes are amazing, I think this place was once inhabited by the Ancients. According to these writings," he said as he pointed out to a page in the notebook, "they built this temple as a meeting place for the races of the alliance."

"You mean Thor could have come here?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Thor and a whole lot of his friends. And according to *these* writings," he turned the pages hurriedly, "this is the address of a planet that could be inhabited with one of the races that were part of the alliance."

Carter moved a little in her sleep. "Daniel," I cut him off, " don't you think this could wait for the debriefing?"

"Right. Of course. Sorry." He stood and walked away with a small, annoying smile.

Alone with Carter again, I let my thoughts drift off. I rarely had the chance to relax while on a mission, but this time I was given the opportunity and I decided to take advantage of it. After everything that had happened to me, I needed time to take it all in. Carter moved in her sleep again and her hand grasped my vest again, only to relax seconds later. Even asleep she seemed troubled, and I resumed caressing her hair in an attempt to let her feel everything was going to be okay.

How had I become this close to her, I wondered? I didn't have any idea. I didn't know how, but I knew that when she'd come to my cell, I'd never been as happy to see anyone in my life as I was at that exact moment. It was like my entire being, and mostly my heart, was relieved of an abominable weight and I knew at that moment that everything would be alright, as long as she was there with me. The implications of *that* scared the hell out of me, but the brave part of me told me to go ahead with whatever it came up with.

And I suspected it would include asking for her phone number.

****

I woke up to the sound of rain against the roof, and I wondered for a moment if it hadn't all been a dream. But when I felt a gentle hand caressing my hair, my mind seemed to focus and I remembered everything. And it surely wasn't a dream.

They were really here. Thank God.

I opened my eyes and it's only then that I realized I was leaning against Colonel O'Neill's shoulder, and my arm was securely wrapped around his waist. Embarrassed, I sharply took it back and sat straighter before looking up at him. It was night again, but the fire I had lit earlier still burnt efficiently, which allowed me to see his features.

"Hey." He said gently as he took his hand away from my hair. "Sleep well?" He asked with a smile, but my still foggy mind had trouble registering everything.

"How long did I sleep?" I asked as I passed a hand over my eyes, trying to dissipate the drowsy feeling.

"Almost ten hours."

When I looked around again, I saw Daniel and Jill sleeping close to the fire and Teal'c seating close by in a meditation position. I frowned.

"What's he doing?"

O'Neill followed my gaze and smiled. "Oh, Teal'c needs to meditate in order to stay healthy. It's called Kel'no'reem. He has to do it every night."

"Oh." Interesting. But too much for my sleepy state of mind. "Why aren't you sleeping too?"

"Well, it's what I've done for the major part of the day, so I don't feel very sleepy. How are you feeling?"

I wondered why he was asking that as he was the one with injuries, but then I remembered. I remembered my conversation with Jaromi, my painful goodbyes with Giuly and the rest of the villagers, and the way I'd thrown myself at O'Neill for some comfort. I shook my head with embarrassment and moaned with frustration as I put my face between my hands. "God I'm sorry."

"What for?" he sounded truly confused so I tried a glance in his direction. His eyebrows were burrowed in a deep frown, and there was nothing on his face indicating he knew what I meant. Better leave it to that then. "No, nothing. I guess.I'm better. Thanks."

His warm hand found my back and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. For a moment I was taken aback by his openness and affectionate mood. Was he always like this? I tried to gauge his face, but he only seemed relaxed, sincere and.happy. I must admit it felt good to have his hand wander over my back and shoulder, the heat emanating from him was bewitching and it surely was something I could get used to. In fact, I realized then that he'd taken a huge place into my life, and I wasn't sure how to deal with that. What would it be like once we were back on Earth? Would we just move on and act as though never of this ever happened? I hoped not, but on the other hand, Jack O'Neill seemed like a very dangerous man to be attached to. He was hard to get to know, and I wasn't sure I felt like getting myself into that when so many other things were on my mind. But could I only help myself? That was an even harder question.

I moved a little further away from him and leaned against the wall behind me.

"If you're hungry we've kept you some dinner." He said as his fingers found the knot of his bandage to play with. "It's not as good as Jaromi's cooking, but it's better than nothing," he smiled.

It's only then that I realized I was starving. I hadn't eaten since.Jaromi's dinner, the night SG-1 had arrived. Damn I was hungry. I practically ran to the fire and took the plate resting close by. It was hard to know what it actually was, but as O'Neill had said, it was better than nothing so I began eating. He kept silent for a long time, but I sensed there was something bothering him. He seemed suddenly nervous, his fingers always finding something to fidget with.

"What?" I asked, turning to him.

He threw me a surprised look, but I held his stare, my fork halfway between my mouth and my plate. "I." he seemed to search for his words. "We're due back to Earth tomorrow at 0900. Does that give you enough time?"

I turned to my plate again, Of course, he didn't know I'd already done all the farewells I needed to do. "Yeah!" I agreed lightly, without letting show the physical pain leaving everyone caused me. "That's fine."

"Because if you want, I could ask Hammond to let us stay a while longer."

"No. It's okay, really." My harsh tone convinced him and he looked back at his fidgeting hands. "How's he been? General Hammond?" I was curious, and in the meantime it thrilled me that I'd be seeing everybody again. I'd have to call my Dad, Mark.Damn his kids must be growing like weed.

"Well, you can ask him yourself in a couple of hours," he smiled, "but I think he's doing okay."

"Good." I nodded as I took another mouthful of the.stuff. "He's a good man, he deserves that."

"Yeah," he agreed, "he does." After a moment of feeling his glare on my face I turned to him again. "So do you." He added seriously and I broke the eye contact, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Don't worry about me Colonel. I'll be fine." Deciding I was done eating, I put the plate back on the ground.

"I know you will Sam." The use of my first name surprised me, it was the first time I'd heard him say it, and my head snapped up. "I guess what I'm saying is." he went on seriously, "you deserve it."

Not really knowing what to say, I held his stare for a few seconds, until he looked down at his hands again. I suddenly needed to breathe some air so I stood and moved silently to the experiment room, well aware of his gaze poised on my back.

Jill and Daniel had obviously been through my researches, I realized as I walked around the familiar room. I'd really miss this place, and everything else. The people, the village, the temple, even the goddamn weather! But this was it. This was my second chance at life and I was determined to take it with all my heart, even if it meant sacrifices. This was the moment I'd been waiting for more than three years, more than two thousand days.

This was it.

****

The walk to the Stargate was long, but not as hard as everything else we'd had to endure over the last few days. It was literally a walk in the park, considering. Leaning on my newly made crutches, the pace was slower than usual, but it didn't seem to matter.

Carter was silent, walking beside Daniel a few feet behind me, and it seemed everybody had a tacit agreement on respecting her silence. Even Daniel didn't even open his mouth, which was an exploit coming from him. Jill was also quieter than usual and I wondered what was going through her mind. She looked thoughtful and distant, and she walked almost robot-like. Maybe she sensed something had changed during this mission, maybe she sensed that I'd taken my decision concerning her future with SG-1. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be my concern anymore in a few days.

We passed the waterfall without even looking at it, no matter how beautiful the scenery was. So it meant we were getting closer to the gate. Apparently Carter had said good-bye to everyone the day before, so we hadn't needed going back to the village, which would have effectively taken more time. But we weren't in a hurry, and I would have agreed had Carter changed her mind and asked for some more time. But she hadn't.

So we kept on walking silently, each of us lost in thought.

Tired and eager to take a shower, I was relieved when the Stargate finally came into view. We stopped at the DHD and Jill prepared her GDO.

"Daniel, you wanna dial us home?" I ordered and he nodded. I was surprised when a strong grip took hold of my arm. I turned to find Carter's suddenly anguished face.

"Sir.Is.my team still working at the SGC?" I exchanged a look with Teal'c. I understood her feeling, I sure wouldn't have felt like meeting those people again, had I been in her shoes.

"What were their names?"

She swallowed and threw a nervous glance at the gate when the second chevron illuminated. "Harrison. Colonel Harrison, Lieutenant Parker and Major Livingston."

I tried to remember the faces to those names, but even now I didn't know all the members of the SGC. Daniel came to my rescue as he punched the DHD. "Harrison retired a few months ago and Parker was given a desk job after he was injured a couple of years ago. As for Livingston, he's still there as far as I know."

She seemed to relax a bit and nodded at the information.

The gate whooshed open and I stood aside. "Well kids, after you."

Daniel was the first to go, then Teal'c and Jill. Carter however, stood still as she stared at the event horizon, her hand still grasping my arm almost painfully.

"Carter?"

She seemed to snap out and let go of my arm. "Don't worry Colonel, I won't let you down."

I nodded, even if I'd never doubted her. "Good." I turned to the gate again and made my slow way up the steps. "I *was* gonna say ladies first."

****

The first thing I noticed as I stepped on the ramp was the change in the temperature. I was used to hot and humid and suddenly it was cool and dry. I shivered despite myself as I looked around and followed O'Neill down the ramp. Everything was exactly the same and I smiled as I took in the high removable ceiling, the control room and above, the briefing room.

"Welcome back SG-1!" The strong voice of the General announced and my smile froze on my face. He probably hadn't seen me yet as I was right behind O'Neill.

"Thank you sir!" The colonel moved aside with a grin and I smiled nervously.

Hammond's jaw hit the floor when his eyes finally fell on me, and I would have laughed had I not been so damn nervous. His eyes moved from me to O'Neill as if willing him to give an explanation, but the man seemed to be very pleased with himself "General, you remember Captain Carter?"

"What.How." The General finally muttered.

I stepped down the ramp, and suddenly more self-confident, saluted him. "It's good to see you again sir."

I was surprised when his shocked expression turned to pure joy and I felt his arms surround me in a bear hug. "Dear God girl, what happened to you?" He asked in a soft voice and I patted his back lightly, willing myself not to cry again.

When finally he loosened his grip, I moved back with a watery smile. "It's a long story sir."

He nodded and, as if remembering where he was, moved further back, without losing his happy expression. He turned his attention to the Colonel who'd watched the scene with a smile. "Colonel, get to the infirmary, Doctor Fraiser is waiting for you."

O'Neill nodded and patted my back as he passed by.

"Oh and Colonel?" Hammond added. "Go hit the shower before the debriefing."

O'Neill stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Bad huh?" When the General merely smiled he nodded and resumed his way.

I turned my attention to Hammond again and he smiled as he led me away from the gateroom.

"Sir, I know this is all very sudden for you and I realize you're probably curious," I said before he asked the inevitable questions, "but I respectfully request some time to take a shower and change clothes."

He eyed me up and down, and seeing my disheveled and muddy state, nodded. "Yes of course! We'll debrief in an hour from now, it'll also give you time to stop at the infirmary for the physical."

"Yes sir. Thank you."

I turned on my heels and made my way into the familiar corridor.

"Oh and Captain?" I turned to him. "It's good to have you back safe and sound."

I smiled in response. "Thank you sir. It's good to be back."

And on that I resumed walking, feeling equally thrilled and nostalgic. It was a weird feeling, it was as though everything that had happened during the last three years was blurred, like a dream and it seemed that everything was exactly the same as when I'd left for my first mission. My feet found almost automatically the locker room and I entered with a pang of excitement. It was the first time in a very long time that I had the opportunity to take an actual shower with, more importantly, hot water and nice-smelling shampoo. I stopped when I realized I didn't have any of those things. I was about to turn around when Daniel walked in, a bag in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "The General told me to give you this," he said as he handed me the bag. I peeked inside and realized it was the necessary 'shower-kit'; soap, clothes, towels, shampoo.

"Thanks! I was wondering how to get that stuff."

I looked up at him when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "You're gonna be ok?"

I nodded and covered his hand with mine to give it a squeeze. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks."

His eyes searched mine for a few seconds until he finally nodded and smiled. "Okay, well I'll leave you to that." He stopped when he reached the door and turned to me again. "By the way, SG-1 always meets in the commissary before the debriefing. You're welcome to join us, if you want."

I nodded again and he left with a sympathetic smile.

****

"Sugar sir?"

I nodded distractedly as I looked around the café, my eyes looking without really seeing. It was the first time I actually entered this shop. Usually I always managed to take my coffee from base, but for some reason they were out of it. Daniel probably made his way through the reserve as soon as we got back.

"Cream?"

I nodded again, my fingers playing with the edge of my crutches.

"One or two?"

I glared at the clerk. Did he really need to know all of this? "Look, I just want a damn coffee! I don't care what you put in it!" I replied, immediately kicking myself for being such a pain in the ass. But I just really needed to get home now, I was tired and I needed a goddamn coffee if I was gonna make it home alive. It had been one hell of a day, with Carter's return and all, and the debriefing had lasted four, long hours.

The guy shrugged, his eyes widened by my outburst and looking just a little scared. I sighed and he handed me my coffee as I paid him the correct change.

I was about to leave when the door opened and I saw a familiar figure make its way towards me. Any thoughts of tiredness or sleep were suddenly and suspiciously washed away in a second. "Good evening Colonel." Carter greeted me with a small smile. I hadn't seen much of her after the briefing, we'd all gone on our different ways. Carter'd had phone calls to make and I hadn't envied her, to say the least. It must have been awfully hard to call her family and friends under the circumstances; 'Hey guys, I know you thought I was dead for the last few years, but guess what? I'm not and I'm back!' Not my idea of fun.

"Hey Carter." I finally replied as I watched her approach. "How've you been?" She looked okay but that didn't mean anything.

She nodded, but a frown clouded her smile. "Good, I think, considering. Doctor Fraiser gave me clearance to go and I remembered this place. I thought I'd get some coffee." She turned thoughtful as she leaned on the counter. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah," I agreed, not really knowing what to say. But as usual my mouth moved faster than my brain and I kicked myself as I heard myself speak out loud a secret desire of mine. "Hey listen, I know the base quarters aren't very comfortable, so if you'd like to come and crash at my place for a couple of nights." Her eyes widened a little so I hurriedly went on. "The guys do it all the time. I have a spare room, and Fruit Loops to die for. Of course you could sleep at Daniel's but then you'd have to share the bed with at least three books, six pieces of rocks and a mommy or two."

She stopped me with a smile. "Thank you sir, I appreciate the offer, really, but Dr. Fraiser's already offered me, and I can't really cancel."

Oh. "No of course not, I mean you can't do that, it's."

"Right." She agreed and I matched her meaningful nod. She looked great tonight, I noticed. Well don't take me wrong, she'd looked great from the first time I'd set my eyes on her, but tonight. Maybe it was the lights from the shop or even her tiredness, but her eyes seemed to be shining brighter, bluer, if it was possible. And it made it impossible for me not to look at her, at the way her golden hair was tousled prettily, at the way her lips curved into a delicious smile.My heart skipped a beat as I realized how nice she looked in earth clothes, even if it was just a t-shirt, blue jeans and.winter coat? Of course! I thought to myself, it must have felt chilly to her out here, compared to the heat she'd been used to for the last couple of years.

"So. You have a curfew at the Doc's or something?" I heard myself ask casually.

She seemed surprised and her eyes searched my face for a few seconds. "Not that I know of." She frowned. "Why?"

"Well," I looked down at my hands holding my cup, "we could hang out for a while." I suggested, slowly getting closer to the real thing.and there it was. "You know.have a drink.or something." God I was bad at this.

Her smile widened, then turned playful. "I thought you were on medication?"

Oh come on! What kind of an answer was that?! "What if I'd said 'have an orange juice'?" I tried and her light chuckle made my heart thud loudly against my chest. "What? Is that a yes?" I asked in a light tone but I felt my heart race in anticipation.

"Yes Jack, I would love to. Very much."

"Great!" I breathed as I took a dangerous step towards her. "Shall we then?"

****

It had felt good to breathe in the crisp air of the beginning of fall. People said it was actually warm for this time of year, but I'd enjoyed the feel of cold on my cheeks, it was something that you could easily forget, as well as the chills that tingled up my spine even through my winter coat.

My eyes rested on the SUV while Jack stepped down from the driver's seat. "You went on a safari or something?" I asked as I noticed the mud stuck all over the truck.

"Something like that," he smiled, "I have a cabin up in Minnesota, I went fishing two weeks ago. In fact, I really should take you there some time."

"I would like that."

"You bet! Blue sky, clear water, nice pond, looms, mosquitoes. Paradise on Earth."

We climbed the few steps that led to the bar's entrance, and I couldn't help but feel nervous. It had been years since I'd done the dating thing, and I wasn't sure how to act under these circumstances anymore. Oh well, I thought to myself as I opened the door - he apologized for not opening it himself since his hands were busy with his crutches - the best way to act was to be myself. Right? But the thing that bothered me was that I wasn't actually certain that this was even a date. What had crossed Jack's mind when he'd invited me? Hanging out with a colleague after a rough day, or an actual, nerve-wrenching date?

Shaking my head, I decided to forget that and just let the evening evolve on its own, I'd know soon enough if it meant anything.

The bar was quiet, which wasn't unusual for a Wednesday night, but perfect for my state of mind. We sat in a far corner and I looked around as Jack leaned his crutches against the wall.

"How's your leg?" I asked as he waved a hand to call a waiter.

"Good, actually. Fraiser's filled me up with pills and stuff." His lips quirked up in a mysterious grin that sent my blood pumping. "I don't feel a thing."

I nodded as I took off my coat and made myself comfortable. A waitress approached our table. "What can I get you?"

"I'll have a soda," Jack ordered and I raised an eyebrow. Soda? That was surprising. He shrugged and returned the amused smile. "Sam?"

"A beer, please." The waitress nodded and left. "I thought you'd be more of a whisky or scotch kinda guy," I grinned.

"Yeah well, I *am* on medication." he leaned his elbows on the table and joined his hands. "And also the one doing the driving," he reminded me as he threw me an amused glance. His eyes were deep and shining with a light I had never seen in them before. No actually that wasn't true, I'd seen it once before, and at the time I was treating the wound on his leg, and his hand had been caressing my cheek. His eyes were my favorite feature, I decided, without counting his amazingly long fingers, strong hands, squared shoulders and lean figure, of course.

I smiled into his eyes, drinking into the sight of him and into his very presence. "Very considerate of you."

His smile turned into a lopsided grin and he leaned back into his chair again. For some reason I seemed to breathe easier. "Why thank you," he replied. "So, what are your plans for the next couple of days?"

I shrugged. "Find a place to stay, fill up the official paperwork that makes me officially alive."

He made a face.

"Yeah, not my idea of fun either."

The waitress came back with our drinks and I sighed with happiness as I took the first sip of the cold beverage.

"Enjoying this huh?"

I looked up into his smiling eyes again. "Oh yeah! After more than three years of perfect sobriety and puritan life, this feels great!" I took another sip and relished in the slightly sour taste.

"That bad?"

I cocked my head as I considered it. "Well, maybe not for me anyway. I think that, given the fact that I was a stranger, Jaromi was looser with me than with the other villagers. With them he was very." I searched for the right word, "old-fashioned, in certain areas."

"Such as?"

I blushed as I thought about it. Could I really tell him *that*? I opted for the truth, but with a detached attitude. That would work. "Well, love, for example. It was crucial to him that if you wanted to."I flushed even more, "sleep with anyone, you needed to be united in an official way, kinda like marriage here."

My breath caught in my throat when I looked up and his eyes caught mine. His face was serious, and his eyes seemed an even darker shade of brown. I gulped when I realized I couldn't tear my eyes away from his.

"So you didn't 'unite' with anyone, I take it?"

I shook my head, mentally smiling at the implications of the question. The next one threw me off-balance.

"Why not?"

I finally broke the eye contact and focused on my glass. "I think.deep down, I knew I couldn't commit to anyone there. Even if I *did* succeed in convincing myself I could never get back here, it's like I felt it wouldn't be right, and mostly unfair to the poor man."

"So you did have the opportunity."

I shrugged, still avoiding his gaze. "Well, once or twice." Or three or four, but I wasn't gonna say more than that. "It seems I made the right choice after all!" I added more lightly as I took another sip.

"Yeah, so it seems."

"What about you?"

His head snapped up, surprised by the sudden switch of position. " How long have you been divorced?" I took a swig at the beer again as I watched from the corner of my eyes his eyebrows raise in surprise.

"How did you know?"

"I'm just such a good judge of character." I smiled, "and Daniel told me."

His smile turned grim. "Ah, he did, did he? It's been." he seemed to calculate, "over three years now."

"What happened?"

"What, the gossiper didn't tell you?" He was sarcastic and I wondered what had awakened his defensive stance.

For a moment I feared I'd said too much and I was going to take the question back when he went on. "Sara and I.It ended way before the papers made it official. We, um." His eyebrows furrowed and he fixed his glass as if the bubbles rising helped him go through the next words. "We had a kid." he cleared his throat and his eyes met mine briefly again. Even not knowing what was about to come, I felt a painful sense of dread clenching my gut. I'd just never seen so much raw emotion on his face before, and it was unsettling. "Charlie," he went on, his lips turning into a grimace, "he.he died, just before the first Abydos mission."

Oh my God.

"Jack, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up," my hand reached for his arm and he looked at me with a sad smile.

"No," he cleared his throat again and sat further back into his chair again. "It's okay, I've come to learn to live with it.kinda." I took my hand off his arm and I was surprised when he reached for it again and intertwined our fingers. His palm felt warm and strong against my hand and I felt the hair on my arm stand with electricity.

"So what about you, ever been married?" He asked, obviously putting the last subject of conversation behind.

I shook my head. "I've been engaged once though, but I'm glad it didn't work out."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Just a bad experience I guess."

His face turned pensive and he leaned on the table again, his fingers still slowly caressing my palm, and doing bad things to my concentration. "Do you ever wonder where we'd be if things had been different? I mean, if my son hadn't died or."

"Or if I hadn't been trapped on a planet for years?" I shrugged. "Probably not here."

He nodded, his smile finally returning slowly on his features. "Right. Then I feel better." He leaned in some more and I swallowed hard. We were only inches apart and I could feel his breath against my cheek. "I'm glad we're here tonight. Together." His hand gave mine a slight squeeze and I nodded dumbly, unable to do anything else but to look into his eyes.

He leaned in some more and I stopped breathing, my heart racing in anticipation as one of his hand came to cup my cheek. His eyes fell on my lips and I closed my eyes when he moved closer still, his mouth only a breath away from mine. "Sam." he breathed.

I leaned forward and.

His cell phone rang, making both of us jump back with a start. He cursed as he leaned back into his chair and searched his pockets for the peace-disturber. Taking advantage of the distraction, I leaned back and tried to get my breathing under control again as I finished my beer. I now officially hated cell phones, I decided as I watched Jack picking his with frustration. He threw me an apologetic smile as he pressed buttons, almost randomly I noticed with a smile, to make the damn thing stop ringing. I realized then that his fingers were shaking, and so were mine.

"O'Neill," he barked as he finally seemed to remember how that thing worked. "Yes sir, I'll be there. 0800, understood sir." He shook his head as he turned the phone off and put it back in his pocket. "Sorry, I needed to take that, it's the one the SGC uses to join me."

"It's okay, really, I understand." He seemed to search my face for a moment, and slightly uncomfortable, I went for small talk. "Was it something important?"

He shrugged as he emptied the contents of his glass. "Not really, considering." He threw me an evil smile. "Hammond wants to see me in the morning, says it's important."

I nodded and tried to have a glance at his watch. "I should probably get going anyway, Janet will probably be waiting for me."

"Right," he nodded, his eyes still scrutinizing my face. "Let's go."

I could feel the tension in the air as we rode in his SUV, each of us lost in thought, and probably still trying to get some composure. My hands were twitching in my lap to reach for him again and finish what we'd started, but his mind seemed miles away.

We finally made it to Dr. Fraiser's house, and when he parked in the driveway, I found I couldn't move. I just sat there and waited for.something. It came when I wasn't expecting it anymore.

"You wanna know how my kid died?" He asked in a small voice and my head snapped in his direction. I searched his face for any clues, but he was looking in the distance again.

"Only if you want to tell me."

He nodded and I noticed his hands crisping on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles to white. "I think I do."

I nodded but he didn't look in my direction, so he probably didn't see it.

"It was an accident." He began, but I didn't move, didn't reach for him, because I knew somehow that he needed to do this by himself. "I always kept my gun locked up somewhere he couldn't find it, but this time."

Anticipating what was about to come, I looked away and out the window. Oh my God.

".I don't know why, I must have left it unlocked, or he might have found it on his own."

I felt tears prick at my eyes and a knot in my throat.

"He.shot himself."

Oh my God.

When he looked at me sharply, I realized I'd said that out loud. "I." The words caught in my throat.

He nodded and his grip on the wheel loosened a little. "I know. I'll never forgive myself, so I wouldn't blame anyone else if they couldn't either, but.I felt you had a right to know."

I threw him a surprised look. What was he saying? Did he think I despised him because of the accident? Did he think it changed anything? I felt the urge to reach for him, but I didn't. I didn't move an inch. "It wasn't your fault."

He shook his head but didn't back away as I had expected - or dreaded. "Yes it was, but thanks anyway."

"No I mean it. It wasn't your fault."

He turned to face me again and I held his stare stubbornly. "Well, it doesn't really matter, does it?"

I nodded when I realized there was no way to make him change his mind. I reached for the door handle, my eyes still riveted on him. "Whatever you say."

"Yeah."

I opened the door and was about to step down when I felt his hand catch my arm. "Sam."

I turned to him, not really knowing what to expect from him anymore. But when I met them, his eyes were serious, and not as distant as before. "Thanks. For everything."

I nodded and, leaning forward, placed a soft kiss on his lips. "You're welcome." I moved back before he could do anything and got out of the car, leaving him with a shocked expression.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded absentmindedly and I closed the door before walking to the main door, aware that his truck hadn't moved even when my hand grabbed the door handle.

I smiled.

****

I strolled down the corridors of the SGC whistling a tune I didn't even like. But it didn't matter, all that mattered, is that I felt great, greater than I'd felt in a long, long time. I knew for sure that a certain astrophysicist's company the night before had something to do with it, and I wouldn't have been able to wipe the stupid grin off my face even if I wanted to. So it was with a lighter rap than usual that I knocked on Hammond's office door.

"Come in."

I entered and stood, still smiling.

"Good morning Colonel." Hammond greeted, without looking up from the folder he was studying.

"Yes it is, General!"

His head snapped up at my unusual enthusiasm and his eyes narrowed. "You alright Colonel?"

"Yes sir, I'm fine." I threw a glance around, wondering what he was looking at. "You wanted to see me sir?"

He nodded as he indicated the chair in front of his desk. "Yes Jack, please sit." I obeyed and leaned back in the chair. Man those were really comfortable!

"Have you ever considered Captain Carter joining your team Colonel?"

Okay. *That* wiped the stupid grin off my face. "It...never crossed my mind sir." And it was true. So far I'd been thinking about her in many ways, but certainly not as my second in command. That would.complicate things, to say the least.

"Well let's consider it for a moment, shall we?" he leaned on his desk and took out a folder out of the pile. "She's a bright, very capable officer, and I believe she can be a formidable asset to SG-1. In fact, I'm starting to question myself as to why I didn't assign her to your unit the first time around."

I nodded, trying to take in what he was saying with a relatively normal expression.

"There's no denying she's been through a lot during the last few years," he went on without paying attention to my dumbstruck expression, "but I strongly believe that, in time, she may be an effective member of your team."

Damn the man! He was right! I nodded dumbly again. "I...guess."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously at my unusual lack of exuberance - good or bad. "Is there any reason why Captain Carter should be unable to fill the void in SG-1 Colonel?"

"I...no sir! I believe Carter's a great choice sir." Too great, probably.

"Good!" His hand hit the desk and made me jump. "Would you like me to tell her the news?"

"No sir. I'll tell her."

"After your request, Lieutenant Jill was reassigned to SG-10. The switch will be effective as of the day after tomorrow.

"Yes sir."

"That'll be all Colonel, dismissed."

"Yes sir." I stood and left the office deep in thoughts. Sam on SG-1? Why hadn't I thought of that before I went all mushy over her? Hammond was right, she was bright, a good soldier, she had experience on the field..

She was the perfect choice.

Damn.

Before I even realized it I was sitting behind my desk, too preoccupied to move or to just *do* something. Man was I in trouble! I couldn't believe I hadn't seen her potential, even when I was starting to think about reassigning Jill. It had never crossed my mind that Carter would replace her and become a permanent member of SG-1.

I picked the phone. "Yeah this is O'Neill, if Captain Carter arrives, tell her to come to my office please. Thank you."

I hung up and my hand hovered the phone. I knew Fraiser didn't start her shift before half an hour or so, so I suspected Sam would come with her. No. Not Sam. Carter. Captain Carter. I had to get that into my head again.

Not Sam. Captain Carter.

A knock on my door startled me and I sat straighter, trying to act as though I was busy. "Come in."

Not Sam. Captain Carter.

"You were looking for me?"

My head snapped up and I couldn't help my heart from skipping a beat as I saw her smiling face in the doorframe. "Hey Sam!" Do'h! I shook my head. Captain Carter. "Yes I was. We.need to talk."

I knew how that sounded and she knew it too, apparently. Her smile faded a little and her features turned suspicious. "Oh. Okay."

"Please come in. And close the door."

She did as I asked and I fidgeted with my pen nervously. How the hell was I gonna tell her? I mean, theoretically, it was good news. It'd be great to have her with us on the field, but. "Hammond and I, well actually it was more Hammond than me, but anyway, we thought it'd be great for you to join SG-1."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, join SG-1, as in becoming a member of the team."

"Oh!" Her eyes widened but I didn't know if it was from joy or horror. "Really?" She frowned again and she looked rather shocked. "What about Jill?"

"She's being reassigned." I replied seriously.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't believe she was the right person for the job. I knew before we'd left for our last mission that it would be her last with us."

"Oh." She was still frowning and I really had no idea of what she could have been thinking. I thought at least a little part of her would be happy.?

"What do you think?" I asked as my pen rolled between my fingers.

She met my eyes, but she was still frowning. "I.really don't know what to say!"

"Well you have until the day after tomorrow to take your decision. I mean I know it's a big choice to make, especially when you just came back and you have so many things on your min-."

"It's not that." She cut me off and I threw her a glance. She was sitting straight on her chair and her eyes were ravaging my face.

Oh. "Oh." Was all I could manage to mutter.

"I mean. What about.us?" she clarified as her hand moved between the two of us. "I mean I know we haven't known each other for very long but I thought."

"I know," I interrupted her and threw my pen on the desk. "Me too." I met her eyes briefly and she seemed to relax a little. "But the fact is, I couldn't think of anyone better qualified, or just simply *better* than you to watch my back. And as it is, I wouldn't *want* anyone else." I watched her face and I could see the inner debate going on between her heart and mind. I'd been through just the same damn thing. "But it's your choice. And whatever you decide, SG-1 will stick to your decision. Beginning with me."

A tight smile formed on her lips as she stood, obviously considering it all for a few seconds. "So.no fishing huh?"

I stood as well and matched her glare and sorry smile. "No fishing. At least not of the kind I was thinking about." I added with an evil glint in my eyes.

Her smile got wider and she looked down, clearly embarrassed. "Right." She laughed as she passed a shaking hand through her hair. "Well, Colonel, I guess.I'm in!"

I was taken aback by her quick decision. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think.Fighting for the Universe is something worthy of waiting a few years for."

"Waiting?"

She shrugged but I could see her emotions reeling in her eyes. "Yeah, if you think you'll still want me then."

I smiled as I thought about the possibility. "I think, Captain Carter, that we have a deal."

I shook her hand with a smile on my face, but deep down I knew it wouldn't be as easy as she'd put it. Working with her side by side every day, it'd be damn hard not to reach out for her, and try not to let show the emotions that I knew were there, almost tangible to an experimented eye.

But as she'd said, it was worth it.

*****

EPILOGUE

I let my fingers trail over the little sign with a smile.

Capt. S. Carter.

It felt great to see it there, just beside Col. J. O'Neill, Dr. D. Jackson and Teal'c. Realizing I'd be late if I stayed here any longer, I hurriedly passed my bag over my shoulders and placed my cap over my head. All set.

I practically ran to the gateroom and I took a deep breath when I came in. Your first mission always does that, getting you all stressed out. I smiled in response to Teal'c's slight bow of the head, and it turned into a grin as I realized O'Neill and Daniel were arguing about something.

Seeing me above Daniel's shoulder, the colonel's face lit up only slightly, but his smile widened. "Carter," he asked with desperation in his voice, "would you please help me reasoning our friend Daniel here? He says the Cannucks are gonna win the Cup this year!"

Daniel turned to me, rolling his eyes. "Jack, that's not what I said! What I said was-."

"SG-1," Hammond's voice buried Daniel's argument, "you have a go!"

"Thank you sir!" The colonel grinned as he turned and walked up the ramp, followed by an arguing Daniel. Teal'c soon joined them.

"I do believe the Cannucks are great warriors O'Neill!"

I smiled as I watched them go. It was nice that the first planet we visited as a team was the one I'd noted in the temple. It was as if I *had* to be part of this. It was funny, I thought as I walked up the ramp, because I felt deep down that, somehow, this was how everything was meant to be.

Me in SG-1, with what I already considered like a family, having Jack at my side, hoping - knowing - that the future will make our deal come true one day. It just had to.

Yeah, I took a deep breath as I watched the event horizon, everything was just how it was meant to be.