More Than I want to by Elise Hudson

SG – SG – SG

Colonel Jack O’Neill took a deep breath and knocked on the door, anxiously awaiting the person behind it to open it. He nervously put both hands behind his back and waited as patiently as was possible for him, for the door to open. A lot had occurred in the past year and O’Neill was finally now standing where he was to try and resolve things. It had taken a lot of thinking and soul-searching to get to this point. Eight months ago, O’Neill had left SG-1, the Air Force and Earth to set up home on an alien planet with a woman named Laira and their son. He had never really wanted to go, not if he was true to himself, but events had caused him to leave in hasty anger. A month ago he had made the realisation that he had cut off the proverbial nose to spite his face and so he had returned home. O’Neill had been home for little more than a month, but had been trying to adjust to his old life once again. Not that he had ever fully adapted to living off of Earth and not that he had been living with Laira and his son. He had stated to Laira after discovering they had a child together, that he did not want to be with her, however he would be a father to their son. No matter his reasons for leaving Earth, or even for re-joining Earth, the fact that he would be a father had not changed. The past month had been long and tiring. He had to come out of retirement for the second time and then he had to get adjusted to the new team. SG-1 would never be the same again. Just over nine months ago everything had been fine, normal and perfect. Then Laira had come back, setting in motion a snowball of doom, at least O’Neill wanted to lay all of the blame on her, but that was not entirely fair. SG-1 no longer consisted of Colonel O’Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson and the Jaffa Teal’c. Now SG-1 consisted of O’Neill, Daniel, Teal’c and Lieutenant Nicola Carpenter.

Throughout the month that O’Neill had been back, Major Samantha Carter, the missing member of his team, had rarely been mentioned. O’Neill always told Daniel to shut up whenever her name was brought up. O’Neill and Carter had broken regulations and destroyed their friendship when Laira had shown up, by sleeping together. Destruction could easily have been avoided, but it had not. So easily, O’Neill and Carter could have continued, changing their friendship for the better. Instead, O’Neill had left Earth after being hurt by Carter and deciding that any relationship of any sort with Carter was impossible. Things had gotten too complicated for the simple old Colonel and so he had left. Everyone who knew both Carter and O’Neill had promised the latter that they would not inform Carter of O’Neill’s return. He wanted to tell her himself – when he was ready.

And now, nearly a whole month after his return to Earth, O’Neill was ready to inform his ex-lover that he was back in town, back on the planet in fact. O’Neill had needed time to adjust to living back on Earth, to working within a team that on the most part he knew like family. It had been a shock to arrive to an SG-1 with only Daniel and Teal’c on it and in a confused state, O’Neill had simply been happy enough to get his spot back. Hammond had insisted that Nicola Carpenter was a permanent fixture now and it had been more changes for O’Neill to adapt to. He knew that it was cowardly to not have told Carter or seen her earlier, but it was difficult on both a personal and professional level. They had only spent one night together and then misunderstandings had come between them. O’Neill believed that Carter had seen him and Laira kissing. The next day when O’Neill had finally caught up with the woman he had loved, he found her with another man. Confused, hurt and very angry, O’Neill had left Earth. Life with Laira and her people had not been easy and O’Neill had eventually come to realize that he had acted with too much haste. He had also come to realize that he missed Earth in a way that no bond with his young son could overcome.

Part of him had missed Carter. He doubted that he could fully forgive her, but he wanted her in his life somehow. He wanted her as a friend, as they had been a year ago, and he hoped that they could forget past events. He also hoped that when she returned from extended leave, Carter would return to SG-1. O’Neill had no idea why she was on leave, why she had left SG-1. Could it have been the same reasons that he had left Earth? Was being on SG-1 too painful for her without him and knowing what had happened? That was when guilt had started to eat at O’Neill. He wondered what had caused her to give up on her dream. He hated the fact that it was partly his fault that the career she so treasured was lying in tatters. The guilt and shame of having driven her from the SGC was what had prevented him from coming to see her sooner.

That was what he was doing now – waiting for Carter to open her front door. He could remember the last time he had stood at this door, the final day he had lived on Earth before fleeing. He had knocked on the door after searching all night for her. The feelings he now felt were similar except this time he was anxious as to what her reaction was going to be. Nine months ago when he had been standing at this door, O’Neill had been anxious to correct Carter on a misunderstanding, however this time he was here to try and re-build a friendship. The expectations were less this time, but he actually felt more nervous this time. Carter’s friendship was incredibly important to him. O’Neill had not told anyone else that he was going to see Carter. Daniel and Teal’c knew what had happened between Carter and O’Neill; well most of what had happened. Daniel was now slightly over protective of his female friend and O’Neill could understand, but knew that Daniel would have tried to dissuade O’Neill from being where he was right now. Thankfully, Hammond still had no idea that anything had happened. At least he had not let on that he did. O’Neill was not sure how Hammond would react to learn why SG-1 had broken up and why it was now only three quarters of what it should be.

Carter was taking a while to open the door, O’Neill realised wondering if she were okay. All Daniel had told O’Neill was that Carter was taking a holiday from SG-1, but that she might be back soon. O’Neill was worried that she would not come back to SG-1 if she knew that O’Neill was the C.O. again and he wanted to work things through with her to go back to their glory days.

Finally the door opened to reveal Carter. O’Neill was immediately hit by her beauty. He had missed seeing her every day. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack from shock and O’Neill could not really blame her. She also looked very tired.

“Surprise,” smiled O’Neill, his eyes moving down Carter’s body as she stepped away from the door and into full view.

“Surprise for you too,” she said quietly.

O’Neill’s eyes became transfixed by her abdomen. “You’re…”

“Pregnant, yes.” An uncomfortable silence fell over them before Sam spoke again, “Did you want to come in?”

“I could use a seat, yeah.” O’Neill said, still unable to take his eyes from her pregnant bump.

She moved to one side, allowing him access to her home and he walked in. They both walked through into the living room and Carter sat down on the sofa, O’Neill sitting on the other end of it. Despite his shock, O’Neill was hit by the memories of when he was last inside of Carter’s home. It was in this very room, he thought as his eyes scanned around, that they had kissed. At that point in time, he had hoped that kiss to be the beginning of a new stage in their relationship and he could never have dreamed that less than a year later he would be standing here fighting for their friendship. He noted that nothing really seemed to have changed in her living room, except for the baby magazines which he was pretty sure were not on her coffee table last time around. Seeing the magazines made him focus his attention back on Carter and her bump.

“You’re … huge.” In that moment, all other words vacated his mind.

Carter smiled. “Gee, thanks.”

“Sorry.” There was a pause. “How far are…?”

“What are you…?” Both of them began talking at once. They stopped, laughed and then O’Neill gestured for Carter to continue. He had many questions for the woman sitting near to him, but she must have just as many and even though he was dying for answers he would wait. Carter continued, “What are you doing back here?”

He had planned on telling her the truth, every little detail and the exact reason why he had returned, but now he faltered. It also occurred to him that everyone had kept his secret and no one had informed her that he was back. O’Neill had honestly believed that Daniel at least would have broken his promise. “It didn’t quite turn out I’d thought it would, so I’m back.” He paused, knowing that he had not lied fully, but that he had also not said what he had planned to. “To stay…” O’Neill had planned on asking her to re-join SG-1 for them to all return to the friendship they had. Once upon a time, anyway. That would be impossible now.

“Right,” she nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, not knowing what else to say and his curiosity getting the better of him. “How far…? I mean.” He groaned in frustration. Why was it so hard to phrase the question?

Carter knew what he meant so she phrased the question. “When am I due? How many months pregnant, am I?” she asked, placing a hand on her pregnant bump and he nodded. “I’m nearly full term. I’ll probably drop any day now,” she smiled peacefully.

“Nine months ago.” It was not exactly hard to do the math of the situation. Roughly nine months ago he and Carter had spent the night together – an unprotected night – and now she was due to give birth any day.

“Sir- Colonel-,” she shook her head and started again. “Jack,” she began but was interrupted by the door opening and then closing.

“Sam?” a voice called. O’Neill could see the panic on Carter’s face.

“In here,” she replied visibly cringing.

A man soon entered the room. “Hey, sorry I’m late.”

O’Neill looked up at the man and instantly recognised him.

*Flashback*

“Sam, I…” Jack stopped, looking in confusion at the person who had opened the door. “You’re not Sam,” he stated obviously.

“No,” the man replied. His voice was husky from sleep, his hair mussed and he wore only his underwear.

“Dare I ask where she is?”

“Still in bed. It was a late night.”

Jack nodded. “I bet it was.” He knew that this man standing before him probably had no idea about Sam’s other relationships, but that did not bother Jack. All Jack knew was that two nights ago Sam had slept with him and last night she had slept with this man. That made Jack angry and just slightly irrational. The anger and irrationality took over him and Jack punched the unaware half-asleep man.

“What the…?” The man said, holding his now bleeding nose.

Jack shook with rage and then realised that he was angry with the wrong person. He should not be upset with an outsider who had been used by Sam. No, Jack should be angry with Sam. “Sorry,” Jack mumbled an apology. “You’re welcome to her,” he spat.

*End Flashback*

O’Neill turned to Carter. “Oh,” was all that he could say. Maybe the math was not that easy.

“Jack, this is Brad. Brad, Colonel Jack O’Neill is an old friend from work.” Carter introduced the two men.

“We’ve met,” Brad said, “this is the guy who punched me.”

O’Neill smiled nervously. “Sorry about that.” O’Neill paused. “I better get going.” He did not wait for anyone else to say anything, he simply walked out. Closing the front door behind him, O’Neill was confused. He had spent a month deliberating and waiting until he felt it was right, until he knew what it was he wanted to say to Carter. He could not believe that no one had told him about Carter being pregnant. He could not believe that for a split second he had thought that the unborn child might be his. Someone would have told him if the child had been his.

Even so, O’Neill wanted answers. That was why, once back on the base, O’Neill headed straight for SG-1r42;s office. Daniel was sitting at his desk and Carpenter was at hers. Carpenter had been transferred from another SG unit after O’Neill had left and O’Neill had been led to believe that Carter had been in command. In truth, there had been no SG-1 missions since O’Neill had left, he had realized this by looking up mission reports and found many mentions of Daniel or Teal’c being temporarily leant to another unit. That had puzzled him before, but now it made sense. He could now assume that Carter had soon learnt that she was pregnant and had subsequently requested no off-world missions.

“Jack,” Daniel looked up from his computer, “where have you been?”

Carpenter could tell that O’Neill wanted to talk to Daniel alone. “I just remembered that I have a meeting with the general.” She stood and walked past O’Neill.

“Thanks.” He had not worked with Carpenter much, but they had all gone on a few missions off-world in the past few weeks. She was military through and through, but she also held a degree in archaeology. O’Neill found that she wanted to examine rocks a bit too much like Daniel, and that was why they had Daniel.

She smiled and said, “No problem.” Even though the brunette had only been a member of SG-1 for almost a month now, Carpenter was not fully accepted. She got on with the other three members of the unit, but it took time to form the kind of friendships that the original SG-1 had. It had not helped that within days of joining the team, it had gone on stand-down and then had a new C.O. when O’Neill had returned.

O’Neill turned back to Daniel. “What’s up?” Daniel asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” O’Neill asked.

“Tell you what?” Daniel loved these conversations with his friend – never knowing what he was actually on about.

“About Carter,” he angrily demanded.

“You went to see her?” Daniel asked and O’Neill nodded. With a shake of his head, Daniel looked disappointed in his friend. “I didn’t want to … sway your decision. I wanted you to go and see her because you wanted to not because she was pregnant.”

There was a long silence. O’Neill wanted to talk to Daniel as a friend, but worried if he should. Daniel had clearly kept Carter’s secret, but then he had also kept O’Neill’s own secret. He could not help his curiosity though and at least Daniel knew parts of what had transpired prior to O’Neill leaving with Laira. “At first,” O’Neill mumbled, “I thought that it … that it might be mine.”

Daniel nodded. “I thought that, too, so I asked her.”

“What did she say?”

*Flashback*

Daniel was waiting outside of the toilets for Sam to exit. Two days ago she had informed Janet, Teal’c and himself that she was pregnant. Since then Daniel’s mind had posed hundreds of questions and he had finally decided to question her. As soon as he had entered their office to talk, though, Sam had run off to the toilets.

She finally came out of the toilets. She smiled at Daniel and explained, “Morning sickness.”

He nodded, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. “Look, Sam, we need to talk. I need to … ask you some stuff.”

Sam nodded her head. “Not here, though. I haven’t told General Hammond yet. I have no idea how to. He’s been a friend of my Dad’s for years and in some respects he’s like a second father. Plus, he’s my commanding officer now that…” Daniel saw pain flash over her face as she did not finish her sentence.

“Our office?” he asked and Sam nodded. A few minutes later, Sam and Daniel were in SG-1r42;s office. Sam sat down and Daniel wasted no time in asking his questions. “Who’s the father, Sam?” He knew that he was being very blunt, but the question had burned within him ever since the moment she had told him. He knew that she and Jack had slept together about a month ago, but that something else had happened, causing Jack to leave.

“Not Jack,” she said as if that would be answer enough.

Daniel looked very confused. “Who is it then? You said that you were about a month pregnant and you slept with Jack a month ago, right before he left.” He saw something flash in her eyes at his final four words. Daniel was unsure as to what exactly it was.

“Can you keep your voice down? No one else knows about Jack and I, I’d like it to stay that way.”

“Sorry,” Daniel apologised and then waited for an answer.

Sam knew that she had to answer, but she felt a bit embarrassed now, her cheeks flushing a slightly pink colour. “I feel quite ashamed about what happened and I don’t want you to think … different of me. I was having a hard time and I do regret what happened.”

“What happened, Sam? What did you do?”

“After I saw Laira and Jack, I was upset. I went out, got drunk and I slept with someone else.”

“What? Who?” he demanded. Daniel could hear the anger in his voice and maybe an element of disgust. He would never have expected Samantha Carter, Major in the USAF to do something that irresponsible.

Sam began to cry quietly. “Damn hormones,” she complained. She wiped her eyes with a tissue and then blew her nose. Daniel felt instantly terrible at how he shouted at her because she was not just his friend, but also a pregnant lady. He was not sure how often he had ever seen Sam cry; it was not very frequent. “A barman at the club I’d gone to.”

Daniel stared at her in shock, any hope that it had been a friend to whom she had turned gone from his mind. “You had a one-night stand?” Sam nodded. Daniel could not believe what he was hearing. Sensible, responsible Samantha Carter had a one-night stand. Presumably an unprotected one-night stand seeing as she was in her current predicament. “Are you sure?”

Sam nodded. “I took precautions after Jack.”

Daniel shook his head and looked down at the floor, unable to meet her sad eyes at the moment. He truly could not believe what he was hearing; not only had she had un-protected sex with a stranger, but from her wording she had also had unprotected sex with Jack. Part of him could understand how she had been so upset that she had sought out comfort from a stranger, but the irresponsibility of not being careful. All he could assume was that she had been blind drunk. “And you didn’t take precautions during with a stranger? How drunk were you?”

Sam closed her eyes so that she could not see his reaction. “I wasn’t thinking. I know that it’s unlike me, but I got so drunk. I just wanted to forget Jack and the fact that I’d opened myself up to him just to have him betray me. I never for one second considered the consequences.”

“Have you told him?” Daniel asked and Sam shook her head. “You have to, you know.” His voice softened, looking at her emotionally vulnerable eyes.

“I know, but I can’t.”

“I’ll come with you, okay?” She opened her eyes and smiled at Daniel. Whatever he thought of her actions he was still her friend and he always would be.

*End Flashback*

O’Neill nodded as Daniel recounted what had happened. “Definitely not mine then?”

“Nope,” Daniel shook his head feeling sorry for his friend. Neither man had any idea if it would make it easier for Carter’s unborn child to be O’Neill’s or not.

“Is she … with this Brad guy?” O’Neill asked, trying to keep his voice strong and hard. He could not show his emotions now despite how Daniel would jump to his own conclusions as to his reasons for wanting these answers.

“No,” Daniel shook his head. “Brad’s around because of the child and as far as I know that’s it. Why?” Daniel had his suspicions as to why O’Neill was asking these questions, why he had returned to Earth and why he had taken so long to visit Carter. He would let O’Neill answer with whatever lie he wanted though.

Because he still cared for Carter. A lot more than he wanted to right now, O’Neill thought to himself. “Just curious. I need to know what’s going on with my team, don’t I?” That was assuming that Carter was still a member of SG-1, a thought which O’Neill did not want to spend too much time mulling over.

“Why did you come back, Jack?” Daniel asked suspiciously. He knew that O’Neill must realize that Carter might not ever return to SG-1 and that none of them knew what the future held in that respect. It was true that it could be argued that O’Neill was curious about his friend, but Daniel was not dumb. Daniel knew that their friendship had been altered nine months ago and it would not be fixed overnight. There was a possibility that their friendship would never be fixed.

“I told you, I missed…” he paused, readying himself for the now standard lie. “Earth and life with Laira wasn’t what I expected.”

“You never have explained that.”

O’Neill rolled his eyes and decided to give part of the truth, seeing as how so much had changed in the past day that whatever he said right now would have to be his reason for ever. “Laira knew that I wasn’t there because I felt anything for her, only for our son. She knew that I’d left Earth and didn’t want to go back. That gave her power over me.” O’Neill paused, remembering some of the things that she had done, how she had made him work so hard with promises of seeing his son. The fact was that for the eight months he lived with Laira and her people, he had rarely ever seen his son. After eight months of putting up with her demands, her broken promises and ultimatums, O’Neill had given his own ultimatum: See his son on a regular basis or he would leave. She had laughed him off saying that there was nothing on Earth for him anymore. He soon realised that he had acted angrily and with too much haste when he left Earth, but he stuck it out for the sake of his child. After eight months of putting his child first with no results and the urges to return home to SG-1 and Carter growing stronger, O’Neill had left. “Basically, she became a bitch. She never let me see my son. She had me … I was like a slave and one day I cracked and left.”

“It had nothing to do with Sam then?” Daniel asked. He did not fully doubt what O’Neill had just said, but he did not believe that it was that simple.

O’Neill considered his friend briefly and knew what the answer had to be given his new reason for returning. “No and she doesn’t know anything about me and Laira not getting on. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her or anyone.”

Daniel nodded, understanding that O’Neill was a complex person. Just then his phone rang. He picked it up. “Doctor Jackson here,” he answered.

“Daniel, it’s me Sam.”

“Sam, hi,” he greeted. Daniel looked up at O’Neill and the other man nodded before leaving the room, sensing the need for privacy. Daniel had a sense of déjà vu coming over him.

“Is someone else there?” she asked.

“No,” he replied truthfully. “What can I do for you?” he asked, already knowing what she was about to ask.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” he asked innocently, sitting down in the nearest chair.

“How long has he been back?” she asked.

Daniel considered which route he should take. Should he try explaining things first or just give her the answers, allowing her to ask for any extra details she might want? “About a month.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked again. Daniel could hear the anger and irritation in her voice.

“He asked me not to. Sam, I couldn’t betray his-”

“I know,” she cut him off. “What did you tell him about Brad?”

Daniel was puzzled about her question, but then technically he knew for a fact how Carter had felt about O’Neill and how she probably still felt about him. “That he was there because of the child. Does it matter?”

There was a long pause, which puzzled Daniel even more. “I guess not.”

“Sam, are you okay?” Daniel asked. Throughout the past nine months, Carter had maintained to Daniel that she did not care about O’Neill, that any feelings there had been were long gone. Daniel had never fully believed her and now he believed her even less.

“I’m fine, Daniel. Look, I’ve got to go. Bye.” She hung up without waiting for Daniel to say goodbye.

“Goodbye,” Daniel whispered to a dead line. He replaced the receiver and stared at the telephone. It was evident to him that both of his two best friends cared deeply for the other, but neither would admit it and that things were going to get worse before they had any chance of getting better. Daniel tried to hold onto the thought that at least now both of his friends were here. Maybe more heartache for everyone involved would be necessary for them all to remain connected to each other. O’Neill and Carter each meant a lot to Daniel so at least now he had both of them in his life again. He could only hope that things between the pair did not get too much worse because he could not cope with leading a double life and hiding details of one from the other.

SG – SG – SG

Jack was unsure of what to do. He had planned to return to Earth, make contact with Carter and then tell her how he felt. That had changed slightly upon his arrival as he had reminded himself of her betrayal, of how he had lost all respect for her and had felt the fear associated with admitting his feelings. Quickly after returning, Jack had remembered that she had declared her love for him and he had been interrupted and had never said it in response. Whilst he did not see that as a complete excuse for her actions, he did understand how people could react rashly when in pain. He had then acted like a coward and remained hidden on the base. It had taken him the month to build up his courage and convince himself that she had not truly betrayed him. He would never be able to forget her sleeping with another man – Brad – the very next night after sleeping with him, but he could forgive. Now, if Carter and he had been in a full-on proper relationship it would be a different story.

When he had gone around to her house that morning, Jack had been prepared to tell her that he loved her and that it was partly for her that he had returned. He had not been so optimistic that he had believed that they would begin a relationship right there and then, but he had believed that it would have been the beginning of their future and maybe correcting the past. He had believed wrong. It turned out that there was nothing for him with Laira and nothing here on Earth either.

How could he admit that he loved her now? Now that she was pregnant with someone else’s child. Admittedly, she was not romantically involved with the father of her unborn child, but Jack could not tell her now. That was why he had lied about his reasons for coming home. He could not tell her that he loved her.

He could not.

Jack was so deep in thought that he only missed bumping into Lieutenant Carpenter because she was paying attention.

“Whoa, Colonel!”

“Hmm?” Jack mumbled his train of thought now broken as he blinked to see who was standing in front of him. “Sorry, Lieutenant, didn’t see you there.”

“No problem, Colonel,” she replied and continued on her way.

Jack remained standing in the corridor for a moment longer before continuing on to the commissary. Once there, Jack took a seat at one of the tables. What was he supposed to do now? He could not foresee returning to work with Carter. It had been one thing working side-by-side with her while wanting her and loving her from a distance, putting everything into a room which was never entered. But working with her while knowing that she had another man’s baby, he could not do that. Maybe he would be better off returning to Laira.

SG – SG – SG

O’Neill cursed loudly as he ran down the corridor of the SGC. He felt like he had been running for days. He probably had. Three days ago, SG-1 had gated to P5T-597 and had immediately found themselves under attack. It had then taken three days before they had managed to get back to Earth safely. His team had incurred injuries. O’Neill’s were not serious, he had a few scratches and bruises but that was all. Daniel’s injuries were slightly more serious and it was believed that he had a broken rib, along with bruises and minor cuts. Lieutenant Carpenter had a minor wound to her stomach and she was on the gurney following behind O’Neill. Teal’c was the worst off. He had incurred at least three wounds from enemy weapons and he had fallen unconscious just before they had managed to get to the Gate. Teal’c was on the gurney that O’Neill was running alongside of.

“Will you get out the way!” O’Neill shouted at some other airman who could not see the large group of medics running down the corridor with two injured officers. O’Neill had to bite his tongue from shouting another obscenity at the airmen. What were they, blind and death? When they got to the infirmary, the chief medical officer came running over.

“Oh my God,” Doctor Janet Fraiser said as soon as she saw Teal’c lying on the gurney. “Into OR-one,” she commanded before turning to the gurney with Carpenter on.

“I’m okay,” Carpenter said before wincing in pain.

Fraiser nodded, assessing the lieutenant’s injuries and then sending her somewhere else. She then turned to O’Neill. “Colonel, remain here. A nurse will see to you.” She then turned to Daniel Jackson who had come in on the third gurney. O’Neill knew that it was never a good thing to be the only one of four from a team to not need a gurney or serious medical attention.

O’Neill nodded to himself and sat himself down on the nearest bed. After only a few minutes, the room quietened down and he was alone. Lowering his forehead into his hands, O’Neill contemplated everything that had happened to lead to his unit needing to return under these circumstances. He sat there beginning to get bored with his thoughts when someone entered the room.

“Colonel?”

O’Neill turned to the doorway at Carter’s concerned tone. He must look filthy, covered in blood and dirt. Thankfully not much of the blood was his. “Carter,” he replied and she entered the room a bit more. “What are you doing here?”

“Came for a check-up. Janet’s still my Doctor. I am the first human to travel through the Gate regularly and become pregnant. Plus, there’s the whole Jolinar thing. Janet’s testing me all the time seeing if there are significant differences.”

“Any?” O’Neill asked. He had not seen Carter since that day at her house and he now felt uncomfortable around her. While in her presence, O’Neill had to maintain the lie of still being with Laira. He was also finding it hard to deal with the fact that the woman he loved was pregnant with another man’s child.

“Not yet. Apparently neither Gate travel nor being blended has effects on fertility or any stage of pregnancy. As of yet,” Carter added as she sat down on the bed opposite O’Neill.

“The birth?” he questioned.

Carter nodded. “Personally, I’m hoping that they ease the process of labour.”

O’Neill smiled and looked up. Carter was smiling, too. As soon as they both realised, their smiles faded and an uncomfortable silence took over. “So, what’s going on anyway?” Carter asked after a long time had passed.

“SG-1 came under attack, as usual. Danny and I are fine, well he broke a rib.” O’Neill noticed that Carter could not help but smile at his normally flippant tone, making him momentarily forget about their change in circumstance. “Carpenter got a wound, maybe two. Teal’c … he got a few more.”

“Oh my God, are they going to be okay?” Carter asked, concern etching her face.

“Probably, you know Teal’c. He recovers from anything.”

Carter nodded. “So, how have you been?” she asked. She hated to admit it to herself, but she had missed him. She had spent nine months lying to Daniel that she felt nothing for O’Neill and now she had to continue lying. She could not admit to loving someone who was in love with someone else. It was bad enough that she had already opened her heart to him to be rejected. She had a constant thought in the back of her mind that he was still laughing at her over that fact.

O’Neill was slightly taken aback by her question. He had not expected her to still care, but obviously she did. Then he reminded himself, even after everything they could still manage to be friends which was what he had originally gone to see her regarding. Just because their aborted attempt at being something more had failed so miserably it did not mean that they could not attempt to patch up a new friendship. O’Neill longed to say that he had missed her, but he could not. Just because she cared for him did not mean that she still loved him. He had a lie to maintain and he could not break it. He could not admit to loving the woman sitting opposite to him and ruin any chance of a friendship. “I’m fine. I’ve re-adjusted to Earth, but I miss my son. And Laira,” he added quickly to maintain the lie. “I miss the comforts of home, even though this is home too.” He was a crap liar, or at least he never believed his own lies.

Carter shifted in her seat. He missed Laira and his son. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Carter wished that the child she carried was O’Neill’s or that he could leave Laira for her. It was only ever a wish though. A wish that Carter still had now. “Well, Janet will probably be a while, so I may as well go home.” Carter stood up rather clumsily and then added. “Give my best to the others, won’t you?”

“Sure,” O’Neill nodded. He hung his head in shame. He hated this situation. He wanted to take back the past nine months. He wanted to relive everything and never sleep with Carter, never ruin their friendship. If he could have her as just a friend, he would do anything. He had once admitted to caring for Carter a lot more than he was supposed to given their positions within the military. He had then cared more than he had wanted to because of her betrayal. Now, he still cared more then he wanted to and was supposed to because he could not do anything about it. She was pregnant with another man’s child. He had to try and forget about her.

SG – SG – SG

Carter had only just reached the elevator when the red alert signals had begun sounding. The lights around her dimmed and the red lights started flashing. Within the blink of an eye, airmen began running past her in every direction.

“Oh, crap,” she mumbled to herself, one hand stroking her stomach. Her first instinct was to get to the weapon’s locker, get a weapon and protect the base. Then a stronger instinct kicked in – that of a mother. She had to protect herself and her child. She would not be able to leave the base now, so she had to get to somewhere else safe. Whilst the infirmary would probably get very busy, it may be the safest place for her so she turned to head back there.

“Carter!” she heard someone call her name. Carter looked up through the red coloured darkness and saw O’Neill running towards her.

“Colonel?” she questioned. He was second in command of the base and as such, his place now was with command, or leading an attack against whatever was wrong.

“I figured that you’d still be here,” he explained as he approached her. “We should get you some place safe.”

Carter smiled slightly and nodded, knowing that now was not the time to question his actions. “Where do you suggest?”

O’Neill shrugged and scanned the corridor, thinking of somewhere. He knew that the infirmary would be a good place, but it was already a busy place and depending on what exactly was occurring, it could be due to get a lot more hectic. If he could manage to make it up a level to Carter’s laboratory, he would feel comfortable then leaving her alone there. Closer to the main entrance would also be useful if there were any chance of Carter escaping, but that was a very long way up. All SFs on the base would be too preoccupied to concentrate on Carter at the present time. O’Neill knew that he should be more concerned with the base itself than Carter’s safety, but it did not stop him. He gently took hold of Carter’s arm so that he would be able to guide her to wherever he found.

“What’s going on?” Carter asked over the noise of klaxons and distant weapon’s fire.

“We’re under attack from the guys from P5T-597.” He realised that the weapon’s fire was coming from their left and it was getting closer. Still with no plan of where to go, he just started walking fast in the opposite direction to the enemy. He had to get Carter out of harm’s way. He would never forgive himself if anything were to happen to her. Normally he would be more concerned with protecting the base, but for some reason Carter was more important to him. Maybe his time with Laira had changed him; either that or his feelings for Carter were getting too out of control. Or, he tried to reason to himself, O’Neill knew that whilst she could still handle a gun and protect herself there would be no one else on base whose first priority was to her. Even if he were to make it a direct order, everyone on base would make the base their first priority. He knew that as soon as he knew that she was safe, he would turn his entire attention to the base.

“Where?” Carter asked, walking as fast as was possible in her heavily pregnant state.

“Where SG-1 just were. I was in the infirmary when the klaxons sounded. It soon started to fill up with injuries. That’s why we have to find somewhere else,” he explained. “Maybe get you out of here. I still had my off-world gear, so I ran.”

“To me?” Carter asked.

O’Neill stopped walking and Carter wondered if it was because of her comment. “In here,” O’Neill ordered opening the door to a small closet. Carter did as she was told and O’Neill followed her in, closing the door behind him. His voice lowered to a whisper as he spoke, “Yes, I came straight to you. I had to make sure that you were okay.”

“Oh.”

The small room was dark and there was no light source due to the red alert. O’Neill thought that it was a store cupboard of some sort. Hopefully he could find somewhere Carter could sit down. Once he knew that she was safe, he could continue on with his job. “Let’s find you somewhere to sit.”

“Thanks, my feet are hating me being pregnant.” She soon felt his hand touch her arm gently to guide her to something on which she could sit. “Thank you,” she repeated.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked, still keeping his voice low. He could not yet hear the aliens approaching, but the noises from outside were getting louder.

Their eyes had not adjusted to the darkness yet, but Carter could sense that he had crouched down to speak to her on her level. “Why? Where are you going?” She could not even try and hide the fear in her voice.

“Back out there.”

“Oh.” She could not deny to herself that she did not want him to leave. She did not want to be on her own and she did not want to get found by the enemy. O’Neill was the only one she trusted to protect her and yet she knew that he had a job to do.

“Here,” O’Neill whispered, placing something in her hand. “I’ll leave the radio with you.” He paused a moment and then passed her the only gun that he still had on him from his earlier mission. He passed it to her, knowing that even though he would be unarmed when he left this room, he could easily find another weapon. “Take this too, just in case, okay?”

Carter could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Carter had spent most of her career trying to prove that she was as capable as the men surrounding her and now it was her femininity making her this emotional and incapable. She hated these hormones. “No,” she replied, “it is not okay.”

SG – SG – SG

Daniel winced as he rounded a corner. He should not be doing anything this active while having a broken rib. Medically, it was not advised. This situation was different though. The base was under attack. Somehow the hostiles from P5T had managed to get through the iris and out of the gate room. If Janet had not been so preoccupied with casualties, she would have stopped Daniel from leaving the infirmary due to his injuries. The hostiles had a weapon similar to the Jaffa staff weapon, but it went deeper than the staff. That was what Teal’c, Carpenter and some of the base personnel had been hit with and Daniel was unsure if anyone had died from it yet. Whilst the staff weapon had a minor ability to cauterize a wound after inflicting it, this alien weapon had an almost blood thinning ability, preventing the wounds from clotting.

There was also another weapon that emitted an electrical discharge like the Zat gun, but one shot was fatal. To make it even more horrendous, the discharge lasted for at least a minute, torturing the sufferer until they died. Daniel had not seen that weapon in action on P5T, but he had in the SGC twice. Those poor men, Daniel thought. He had no idea who these hostiles were or how they had this amazing high level of technology. SG-1 had only been on P5T for a few moments before a flock of armed and black-masked aliens had come charging over a hill. The M.A.L.P had not shown any civilization near the Stargate, but obviously there had been further from it or the aliens had come from elsewhere. Daniel was not sure how the aliens had known that SG-1 had arrived on their planet. Maybe they had sensors indicating that the Stargate had been activated and had come in response to the M.A.L.P. Daniel still questioned their level of technology and similarity to the Goa’uld, and also how they had managed to penetrate Earth defences so quickly and seemingly easy. He had no idea if anyone had even survived in the Gate or control room.

Daniel and five airmen paused at another corner. Two airmen peered around the corner first, both firing their guns at hostiles in front of them. By the time that Daniel moved around the corner there was only one hostile still alive. Daniel fired his gun three times, taking the hostile out and then approached the alien he had just killed. Feeling remorse and guilt for having murdered someone, Daniel bent down to remove the mask that had covered the face of every hostile he had seen. He knew that it was illogical to feel guilty about killing someone who had intended to kill you first, but Daniel would prefer to simply wound and incapacitate an enemy. From what Daniel had seen from afar the aliens from P5T stood and had the stance of humans. He removed the face mask and saw a feminine looking human face staring blankly at him, the eyes motionless and lifeless but still trying to penetrate his own eyes. There was nothing distinguishable about the face and there was no hair on it – no head of hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes.

From behind them, a group of hostiles appeared, taking out three of the five airmen with whom Daniel had been fighting. Daniel fired his gun continuously, felling two of the hostiles and then found his gun out of ammunition. The two airmen beside him soon hit this stumbling block, too and the three of them dropped their weapons and held their arms and hands out. Daniel hoped that the human looking alien race understood the gesture of surrender, but he doubted it when he found himself staring down the barrel of the enemy’s discharge weapon with no way of defending himself.

SG – SG – SG

“Excuse me?” O’Neill asked, managing to keep his voice to a whisper even though Carter was getting louder.

“I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want to be on my own,” she admitted, whispering again.

“Carter, the base is under attack. Other people need me.”

“I need you. I don’t want to be alone in here and get killed or sit here listening to all the people I know and care about getting killed right outside that door. I don’t want my child to get killed and I don’t trust anyone else to protect me.” She was beginning to raise her voice again.

“Carter, you keep shouting like that and they will find us,” O’Neill snapped in his military voice. He immediately regretted shouting at her in that way. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I am,” Carter wailed. “It’s these hormones. I just want this baby out of me so I can get back to normal. So that instead of hiding in a damn cupboard I can actually do my job.” She was trying her hardest to not cry and to not shout and scream at him, but she was panicking. It was a new sensation for her and she decided instantly that she did not like it. She felt helpless, anxious, nervous and petrified. She desperately wanted to be tough Major Carter again.

“Carter,” O’Neill began as Carter started to cry. “Sam,” he amended, placing a hand on her cheek, “it’s okay. I’ll stay with you. I promise that I won’t leave, okay?”

Carter liked feeling his hand on her cheek. It was a source of comfort and it reminded her of their one and only night together. She really wished that things had not gone as they had. She did not mean that fully. If things had been different then she would not be pregnant and she would never regret having the child that she carried. Carter closed her eyes as she moved against O’Neill’s hand, rubbing her cheek against his hand. Even though it had only been one night she still missed the feel of his soft caress, the way his lips felt against hers. “Jack?” she whispered.

She rarely ever called him by his first name so when she did, it made him take notice. He did not fully trust his own voice, but he spoke anyway. “Yeah?” he asked in a husky whisper. She did not reply at first, but he could feel her moving closer to him. Due to the darkness, O’Neill guided her face to meet his. He had no idea if this was what she wanted or had planned, but he had the desire to kiss her and she could stop him if she wanted.

Carter knew what was about to happen. She was about to kiss him again. She found it easy to push everything to the back of her mind and think only about the moment she was in. “Kiss me,” she breathed and their lips met. It was a slow, explorative kiss. Her hands came up to his face as she pulled him closer. He removed his lips from hers and she instantly felt bereft and confused. Everything made sense when she felt his lips kiss their way along her jaw line and onto her neck. She moaned in pleasure as he kissed her throat and then in pain as he nibbled where he had just kissed.

O’Neill pulled away from Carter as she gasped in pain. He had only nibbled gently and was now confused. “Sam?” he asked his voice throaty.

“Uh-oh,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Not now.”

“What?” he repeated slightly impatiently.

“Umm, I think I’m in labour,” Carter answered, her voice pained.

“Oh, for crying out loud!”

SG – SG – SG

The inquisitive, explorer within Daniel wanted to start talking to the man or woman who held his life in the balance. The more rational side of him knew that it would be pointless. The cold feeling of what was about to come ran through him, just as it had many times before. Most times it had been another member of SG-1 that had come to his rescue, but that looked unlikely this time. Teal’c and Carpenter were injured and Daniel had no idea where Sam and Jack were.

He hoped that Sam was okay. He would probably never know now. He would never know how Sam’s labour would turn out and whether the child she carried was a boy or a girl, or if it would ever even be born at all. For all Daniel knew, this could be the end of the entire SGC maybe even the Earth. No, he could not be that pessimistic. There was no point in being optimistic concerning his life, however. Daniel knew that in a few short minutes his life would be over after a great deal of pain.

Daniel did not want to die.

Daniel watched as the black-clothed alien in front of him slowly began to squeeze the trigger of his enhanced Zat tighter. The alien laughed as he did so, as did the other hostiles next to him and they all sounded male. The hostiles were not here to protect their planet from a suspected invasion they were a warrior race who would fight anyone, Daniel realised.

Daniel tightly closed his eyes as he prepared himself for what was to come.

He never felt the discharge hit him. Had the alien missed? Daniel opened his eyes slowly and there was no one standing in front of him. He looked down at the floor and saw the alien lying on the floor, blood pouring from his chest and slicking over the black uniform he wore. All of the other hostiles were on the floor, too. Daniel turned to look behind him and saw his saviour standing there smiling.

“Cavalry’s here,” Carpenter smiled, lowering the gun she held in her right hand. Her left hand was gently placed on her stomach, probably covering her wound. She moved carefully towards Daniel and handed him some ammunition from a trouser pocket. She appeared very pale and the blood staining her uniform was still wet. Her blood was not clotting enough to stop her wounds bleeding.

Daniel took the ammunition from the lieutenant and immediately re-loaded his gun. “A second later,” he remarked.

Carpenter nodded slowly to avoid a dizzy feeling in her head. “Fraiser discharged any of us that can walk and hold a gun,” she explained leading the others back to the infirmary. “From what we can gather, most of the base has been taken. The hostiles don’t have the infirmary yet, so that’s where we’re taking an offensive from. Most of the weapons lockers are unobtainable and we can’t get anywhere near to level twenty eight, so the armoury’s out of the question. Fraiser’s got Teal’c's radio, but I haven’t been able to raise any SFs or guard posts.”

“Any news on the control room?” Daniel asked.

“Negative. We have to find Colonel O’Neill or General Hammond. Any ideas?” Carpenter asked as they entered the infirmary.

Daniel paused in giving his answer as he took in all of the people around him. “Oh my God,” he whispered. He had never seen so many casualties within the SGC before in his life.

Carpenter placed a comforting hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “I know,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotional and physical pain. “We need to find a commanding officer, to make a plan of what to do.”

Without hesitation, or looking at the lieutenant, Daniel answered. “Jack still has his radio. Have you tried the off world frequency. If he’s alive, he’ll hear you.” If he’s alive – the words echoed through his mind as he realised what he said without even thinking.

Carpenter nodded, noticing that Daniel was still immersed in his surroundings. She grabbed her radio and spoke into it. “Colonel O’Neill, Lieutenant Carpenter here. Colonel, please answer. Over.” She held her breath waiting for a reply.

SG – SG – SG

Colonel Jack O’Neill could not believe that he was in this situation. Never in his wildest dreams could he have foreseen this. To be hiding in a supply-room with his previous second in command was one thing, but it was another to have that ex-2IC in labour while hiding from enemy hostiles.

“What are we going to do?” Jack whispered, more to himself than anyone else. He was not expecting an answer.

“I don’t know,” Sam groaned, her voice rising again.

“Carter, I know you’re about to go through an indescribable event, but you have to keep your voice down. Okay?”

Sam managed to nod in the darkness, Jack’s hand still on her cheek so he felt the movement of her head. He could also feel her face scrunch up in pain.

“Carter, it’s gonna be okay,” he promised. He had no idea how he was going to keep that promise, but he would somehow.

Sam nodded again without questioning him. They both jumped in shock as Jack’s radio started crackling. “Colonel O’Neill, Lieutenant Carpenter here. Colonel, please answer. Over.”

Jack grabbed his radio and whispered into it. “O’Neill here. What is the situation? Over.”

“The base is full of hostiles, Sir. We’ve set up base in the infirmary. Some other personnel have turned up that can fight, but weaponry is minimal. Over.”

“Control room? Over.”

“Unknown, Sir. We have no contact with the control room or General Hammond, Sir. Over.”

He knew that it meant he was the most senior officer people could get in contact with. Only certain SF guards had radios with them whilst on the base and if Hammond had not got orders out, it left O’Neill in charge of whoever had made it to the infirmary. “Carter and I are in a supply-room, near to the infirmary. We’d only just left when the attack started. We need back up and then we can assess the state of play. Over.”

“Sir, on our way, Sir. Over.”

Sam grabbed the radio off of Jack and spoke into it. “Hurry up,” she growled. “Over.”

“Sam?” Daniel’s voice came over the radio.

“She’s in labour, Daniel. Over.” Jack replied, getting his radio back.

SG – SG – SG

“Oh, boy,” Daniel whispered as he released his own radio. He turned to look at Carpenter and she nodded before leaving the room, taking only one other SF with her. With her gone, Daniel’s attention was brought back to the casualties. He could not believe that this much damage had occurred simply because SG-1 gated to a planet. Daniel had seen battles before, but never any like this in his home. Daniel turned to Janet as she rushed past him, seeing to her patients. “Anything I can do to help?”

Janet glanced up from her most current patient. She smiled briefly before returning her attention to the officer lying on the gurney in front of her. “Not really, Daniel. Unless you have a PhD in medicine.”

“No.”

“Then, I really suggest that you get out of the way. The room through there is for stable patients. If you’re really desperate to help, go ask a nurse in there.”

Daniel nodded to himself and then left the room. The second room was less hectic than the others. There were no fresh casualties being brought in and the room seemed calmer than the other. There were still too many people in the room, too many injured people. These people were his friends and the nearest thing that he had to a family and too many of them were injured.

He quickly spotted Teal’c lying on a gurney so Daniel headed over. “Teal’c?” Daniel whispered, not wishing to disturb any of the other patients.

Teal’c's eyes opened slowly. “Doctor Jackson,” the Jaffa greeted.

“How are you?” Daniel asked.

“I was in a state of Kel’no’reem so that my symbiote could heal me.”

“Sorry for interrupting,” Daniel apologised. “The base is under attack.”

Teal’c blinked slowly. “By whom?”

“The natives of P5T. They got through the iris somehow and have taken most of the base.”

“If I were well I would aid in the battle.”

“I know, Teal’c, I know. You just concentrate on getting better.”

“I shall, Daniel Jackson.”

Daniel watched as Teal’c closed his eyes, returning to his deep state of healing Kel’no’reem.

“Daniel!” Daniel heard Janet shout and he went running into the other room. Being brought into the room was Sam, aided by Jack and Carpenter. The other airman that had accompanied Carpenter remained in the doorway with the other few SFs that had made the journey to the infirmary, on the alert for any hostiles. Jack helped Sam up onto a gurney while Janet raced over. Sam’s face was red and she seemed in a lot of pain.

“Sam, are you okay?” Daniel asked, rushing to be by his friend’s side.

“What do you think?” Sam asked sarcastically as she glared at him. The contraction seemed to pass as her face softened. “Sorry,” she apologised. “How’s Teal’c?” she asked.

“He’s, uh, he should be fine. He’s just through there.” Daniel answered her but he was looking at her right hand, which was holding Jack’s tightly. His eyebrows rose slightly at seeing this.

As if Jack noticed Daniel’s reaction, he released Sam’s hand and moved a step away from her. Sam met his eyes as he moved away. “I should see to the base.”

Sam nodded, a sadness covering her eyes as he left the room, Carpenter and Daniel close behind him. Soon, all that was left in the infirmary were Janet, a few patients, a few nurses and Sam. Even through the pain of each contraction, Sam kept an eye on the surrounding situation. There was a slower influx of patients now, which either meant that every SGC member was already here or dead. Or, now that Jack was out there leading the men the tide was starting to turn.

SG – SG – SG

O’Neill and Daniel both fired their guns at the line of aliens running toward them. One by one each of the aliens fell to the floor. Without waiting a second, Carpenter and two airmen, ran past O’Neill and Daniel and past the fallen aliens, the remaining two airmen stayed at the end of the corridor, keeping watch. O’Neill and Daniel were not far behind. As he entered the control room, O’Neill watched as Carpenter shot the last alien standing in their way of getting to the control panels.

The control room had been reclaimed.

O’Neill sent two airmen up to the briefing room while he remained with Carpenter and Daniel in the control room. Carpenter got to work on the base computers, trying to get them back online and the other two kept guard.

As the two men silently watched out for any hostiles, Daniel found himself studying O’Neill rather than the approaching corridor. Daniel had never fully understood the relationship that existed between his two friends, but it was obvious that it was complicated and deep. Daniel had always been worried that O’Neill would hurt Carter in some way, shape or form. Daniel was now even more scared about this prospect. Carter had not had it easy in the past nine months. She had been adamant that she had no feelings for O’Neill. As one of her closest friends, Daniel knew that to be a lie. In the past nine months, Daniel had often wondered how O’Neill was dealing with events. Was O’Neill on Edora, lying about his feelings for Carter? Was he denying that there had ever been more than friendship? That there had only ever been lust between the two officers? Or was he there, mourning a broken heart and missing Carter?

Daniel had the feeling that O’Neill had spent the past nine months lying and that he still was. But then why was O’Neill keeping up the charade that he was still with Laira?

“Daniel?” O’Neill whispered and Daniel acknowledged him with a nod. “You keeping an eye out for any hostiles?”

“Yeah,” Daniel nodded, turning his attention to the corridor. “Hey, Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everything okay with you and Sam?” Although Daniel kept his attention on the corridor, from the corner of his eye he could see O’Neill turn to look at him.

O’Neill’s gun lowered slightly as the colonel considered the question without his senses lessening. It depended on your viewpoint as to whether everything was okay between the two of them. They had shared a kiss just moments ago. He had kissed a pregnant woman and a woman that he loved. She would probably never speak to him again. He had taken advantage of a heavily pregnant, hormonal woman who had been led to believe that he was in a relationship with another. Not only had he taken advantage of her, in her eyes, O’Neill had cheated. She would never forgive him and he probably would not either. “I kissed her,” he admitted. Before Daniel could make one of his usual comments, O’Neill explained. “She asked me to, wanted me to.”

“Oh.” It was all that Daniel could say without either of them taking their attention from the task at hand too much.

O’Neill knew that there was more to it than ‘oh’. Daniel always had something more to say, always had something spinning around in his brain. “What do you mean by that? Oh – you took advantage of her. Or oh – I saw it coming.”

“I meant – oh.” There was a brief silence. “So what do you think about it?” Daniel knew that it was not subtle and this might not be the right time, but it was the only way he would ever get to the truth.

“What? It was a kiss, Daniel. It didn’t mean anything.”

“So you kissed a pregnant woman for no reason.”

O’Neill glared at the other man, but his attention was on the corridor. “Whatever.” O’Neill was unsure as to what was going on so he was not about to try and explain it to someone else.

“What does she think about it?”

“I don’t know,” O’Neill shrugged. “She went into labour so we didn’t really get to discuss it.”

“How do you think she thinks?”

“Daniel, we’ve got a job to do here. Can we please do it?”

Daniel was not deterred, knowing that they would hear anyone approaching this corridor and that there were two other SF guards at the other end of it. At least the hostiles’ weapons were not quiet. “Why are you lying about being with Laira?”

“Daniel.” O’Neill warned.

“I think you should stop. Tell Sam the truth. Trust me on this. Tell her. She deserves to know.”

There was a long pause as O’Neill decided not to answer and Daniel thought it wise to give up. Their attention was brought to Carpenter who had just successfully managed to get the computers back online and the storm-doors up.

“Sir, we’re back in control.”

The men walked over to Carpenter and looked down into the Gate room. The Stargate was active and a large group of the alien hostiles were on their way through it. Once the last one was through the Stargate automatically shut down. O’Neill had no idea how long the base had been under attack, but he doubted it was within the thirty-seven minute window for an active Stargate. Either they had dialled a second time or they had the ability to keep a Stargate open for longer and some way of getting through the iris and their defences.

“Do you think that’s all of them?” Carpenter asked.

“We’ll have to check the base. Carpenter, go check the airmen upstairs while I contact the surface and see what they’re up to. I want to know if any hostiles managed to get out.”

“Yes, Sir.” Carpenter then walked off, leaving the two men alone.

As O’Neill walked over to the phone, he whispered just loud enough for Daniel to hear. “She’s moved on with her life and is having someone else’s child. Nothing would come of me telling her the truth.” He did not allow Daniel the time to answer as he picked up the telephone with a direct link to the surface.

SG – SG – SG

While O’Neill remained in the control room, issuing commands over the radio he had to the few airmen that could hear him, Daniel headed up to the briefing room in search of Carpenter and the others. Daniel was puzzled when he came up the stairs to see Carpenter sitting at the briefing table. She was alone with her gun placed on the table and her head hanging forward. There was no sign of the other airmen.

“Nicola?” Daniel asked and she looked up. Her eyes were sad. “What’s wrong?”

“The other two officers didn’t find much up here. There’s a lot of damage so it took them a while to look around,” Carpenter explained. “Entry to General Hammond’s office was blocked and it took them a while to get in. I came up just as they managed to. His office is … destroyed, really.”

“And the General?” Daniel asked, fearing the answer.

Carpenter finally looked up to meet Daniel’s eyes. “He’s okay, but…” she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“What? What is it, Nicola?” Daniel asked, taking a step closer.

“There’s a Major in there. She’s dead.”

“Did you know her?”

Carpenter nodded. “She was one of my best-friends at the academy. We always managed to keep in touch, no matter how far apart we were posted. I can’t believe it,” she whispered.

Daniel bent down on his knees and brought her into a hug. “I forgot to thank you for saving my life.”

Carpenter pulled away from Daniel slightly and smiled a small smile. “Couldn’t save everyone.”

SG – SG – SG

Sam opened her eyes slightly. She was so tired from the labour. She had been having weird thoughts for the past few hours, or however long she had been knocked out by the pain and stress of labour. She had relived a lot of memories through her dreams similar to the vivid waking dreams she had after Jolinar had departed her. Only the memories she kept seeing this time was when she had first told Janet she was pregnant.

*Flashback*

Sam hesitated before walking into the infirmary. She had to tell Janet, she had to tell someone. She really did not want to though. She felt embarrassed and slightly ashamed that someone of her age and intelligence had managed to get themselves pregnant through a one-night stand. She did not want anyone to know, she wanted to hide her indiscretion from everyone, but that would only work for a few months – then she would start showing. No matter how stupid Sam believed herself to be, there was no way that she could not keep the child that was already growing inside of her and with that knowledge in her mind, Sam also had to inform the base doctor of her predicament because no one knew how safe Gate travel was for a pregnant woman or the child. They had known other pregnant females to travel through the Stargate, but none had been human from Earth and they had all tended to be more accustomed to intergalactic travel.

“Sam,” Janet said as she looked up to see her best friend standing in the doorway, “what can I do for you?” she asked.

Sam wanted to pause, to think about what she was about to do, but she knew that if she paused now she would never resume what she had to say. “I’m pregnant.” Straight out. Blunt. To the point. No hesitation, no wasting time making conversation. Her secret was out now but there was no relief lifted from her.

“Excuse me?” Janet asked as she could not believe what she was hearing. About a month ago, Sam had asked Janet to get the morning after pill for her. It was not exactly part of Janet’s job description and was not exactly easy to come by. The base had a quantity of the pill for emergencies occurring with female prisoners off world, but that would have to be documented and Sam wanted it kept secret. Janet had managed to get the pill from a local civilian doctor that she knew. Still to this day Sam had not admitted who she had slept with.

“I’m pregnant. Please don’t ask any questions.”

“You can’t ask me that,” Janet objected. “Who on Earth is the father?”

Sam really did not want to tell Janet the truth. The little girl within Sam came out and she did not want to disappoint someone who held a respect for her. She had to though. Janet would not give up until she knew and Sam needed her friends right now. “Some guy in a bar. The barman, actually. It was a one-night stand. No feelings, no love, but a child.”

Half of Janet saw Sam as she would Cassie – a child who she wanted to chastise for being silly and not thinking about the consequences of her actions. The other part wanted to comfort Sam as a mother would comfort a child. Janet stood up and hugged Sam, feeling all of Sam’s shame and confusion melt into her. “Honey, it’s gonna be okay.”

*End Flashback*

And it was okay, Sam realised. She had given birth, however long ago, to a child; a healthy little girl who slept soundly in her arms. Instead of elation, Sam felt sad. She could only assume it was because of how drained she felt from the labour and how with the absence of her baby and placenta within her womb, Sam’s hormone levels were drastically altered. She could not help but keep thinking that her child had the wrong father. Some one-night stand man should not be the father of Sam’s child despite the fact that her beautiful little girl who was so precious and tiny was perfect in every single way. Sam would not change her daughter for anything. The man Sam loved should be the father, but he was not, in fact he did not even love her.

Then why had he kissed her?

Sam was not sure why Colonel O’Neill had kissed her, but he had and she had responded. The colonel was in love with another, not her. Sam just had to try and forget about him, but it was difficult with all the hormones swimming around in her bloodstream.

There was a gentle knock on the door to the room. It was Daniel. “Hey, Sam.”

“Daniel,” Sam greeted with a weak smile. She had no idea what time it was or how long the battle had raged within the SGC. She had been informed that the base was safe again and that the hostiles were all gone. Sam’s main thought on being told that was that it meant her daughter and her were safe.

“How are you?” he asked. “And your daughter?” He moved closer to her, peering at the bundle she held in her arms. The baby was peacefully sleeping and looked incredibly small and fragile.

“We’re fine,” Sam smiled with pride. “How’s the base?”

“It’s okay. A lot of damage, but we got rid of all the hostiles. There were a few fatalities, quite a few injuries. We’re all okay.” Sam nodded, obviously pleased. Daniel knew that he would regret what he was about to do, but he had to do it. Sam had only just awoken and she would not have thought about the earlier incident with Jack, Daniel surmised. He had to get her to realise the truth before she thought about it too much and would end up back at the beginning. “Sam, we need to talk.”

“Right now? I just had a baby and the base has just been a warzone, Daniel, I’m sort of tired and I’m sure there are better things you could be doing with your time.”

“I know and I’m sorry, but this is really important.”

“Go on then.”

“Jack told me about what happened earlier.”

“Daniel, I’m really tired.”

“Just listen to me, please.” When there was no objection, Daniel continued. “For nine months now you’ve been denying feeling anything for Jack, saying that you don’t miss him and that you don’t care about him. For nine months I know you’ve been lying. You once admitted for caring about him a lot more than you were allowed to given your working position, then suddenly after sleeping with him you don’t care anymore. I never bought it, Sam. Now that you kissed him you’ve proven it and you have to tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Sam asked. She had been angry at first, not wanting Daniel to talk. Now she was tearful and upset. Why did he have to remind her of everything especially when she was in such a vulnerable state?

“Tell him that you love him.”

Those words made the tears start to fall. She could not help it. She did love him, but there was nothing that could be done about it. Colonel O’Neill was in love with someone else and he shared a life with them. He even had a child with someone else. So often, Sam had hoped that the child she carried could be his so that he would return to her. “Yes, I do love him.” It took all of her emotional strength to admit that she loved him. “But right now I care for him a lot more than I want to because I don’t want to be in love with a man who loves someone else.” She refused to take her eyes off the beautiful little girl that she held in her arms, hoping that seeing something so innocent and pure that she had such immense love for would protect her from the pain of Jack.

Daniel wanted to tell her the truth; he wanted to tell her that Jack was in love with her. He could not betray his best-friend’s confidence. “Talk to him, Sam. Tell him.” Sam looked up at him about to ask something. “I can’t say anything more, just tell him.”

With that Daniel left the room, leaving Sam on her own to her thoughts. She did not need this right now, she thought bitterly to herself. She did not want to deal with her feelings for Colonel O’Neill when she had just given birth, when she needed to be there for her child.

Daniel knew that this was exactly what Sam did need because he knew that Jack still loved her and that his relationship with Laira was all a facade. He just hoped that they were both clever enough to finally sort through things.

SG – SG – SG

Colonel Jack O’Neill entered the infirmary. It had been a few hours now since they had managed to reclaim the base. The base was clear and no hostiles had been found either dead or alive even the one that Daniel had taken him to. The only bodies littering the floor were good old Air Force personnel with thankfully only a handful dead. There was no explanation as to where the dead hostiles had vanished to, or even where any survivors had disappeared. O’Neill could only figure that there was some sort of technology behind it similar to their other advanced technologies. O’Neill was on his way to check how Doc Fraiser was coping with the injuries.

“Doc,” he called as he spotted the petite brunette.

“Colonel,” she greeted, “how’s the base?”

O’Neill nodded. “Cleaning up the mess as we speak. The General sent me down to get an update on our men.”

“Of course, sir,” Fraiser began before starting to list a load of numbers to O’Neill. He was only half listening to the doctor. He was taking in the information so that he could relay it to Hammond, but his mind was also drifting slightly. In a nearby room was Major Carter. He wondered if he should take Daniel’s advice and tell her how he felt. Dare he risk it?

“And Teal’c is nearly fully recovered. I estimate another two hours of Kel’no’reem and he should be fighting fit.”

“That’s excellent news. If you’ll excuse me,” O’Neill excused himself.

“Sam’s fine and awake as well.”

O’Neill glanced at Fraiser unsure of why she was telling him that given that she was not likely to be a casualty. His only reason why she had was so that she could inform the General how Carter was. He nodded and left the infirmary. He paused at the door to Carter’s small private room, thinking how lucky she was to be able to have some space given a lot of SGC personnel were also in the infirmary. Should he go and see her? He wondered.

Yes, he had to go and tell her, he decided in that moment. It was not that hard. Three simple little words. It was easy. He could tell her the truth. He could tell her what he had wanted to say for as long as he could remember. He loved her and she deserved to know. Whether she wanted him or not, she deserved to know the truth about how he felt and the truth about Laira. Nothing else mattered to him in that moment. Not her vulnerable state, or her being linked to the father of her child, or their possible future working environment, or regaining a friendship. Today’s attack could have destroyed everything O’Neill held dear and telling Carter the truth could not destroy the base in which he stood.

He took a deep breath and reached for the door handle.

SG – SG – SG

Sam stroked the side or her daughter’s face and smiled. She was lying in the infirmary bed with Daniella in her arms. She hated to admit it, but she kept looking at her daughter and wishing it could be different. She wished that her daughter had a different father. It would never affect how she felt for her daughter but she still wished that it could be different. She was still very tired, but her brain seemed to be clearer than it had been for a very long time. Maybe the alteration of hormones within her was still affecting her.

She wanted the man whom she loved to be the father of her child.

The man she loved.

Colonel Jack O’Neill.

As she thought of him, the door opened revealing him. Sam had to catch her breath in shock.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he said, with his adorable smile.

“No,” she almost whispered.

“How are you?” he asked.

Sam smiled. “I’m okay. You?”

He bobbed his head a bit. “Tired. You probably are too.” He stepped closer to get a better look at her daughter. “She’s beautiful. Just like her mom.”

Sam took her eyes from her daughter and looked at O’Neill. Their eyes met briefly before he looked away nervously.

“Carter, I … I need to tell you something.” His hands would not stay still now, which told Sam that he was nervous.

“Okay,” she sounded wary. “Is everything okay, Sir?” Her first thought that someone she knew had died from their wounds and that he had been sent to tell her.

“Please,” he objected, “don’t call me ‘sir’.”

Her eyebrows rose in curious wonder, no one was dead then. “Okay,” she agreed.

“I-” he began before he was cut off by someone else entering the room.

“Sam! I got here as soon as I could. I swear it takes longer to get down here every time,” Brad said, barely pausing for breath. “How are you? Is everything okay?”

Sam smiled at him. As she began to answer his many questions she glanced up briefly. Colonel O’Neill was gone.

SG – SG – SG

Samantha Carter walked along the corridor and entered the control room. She moved to stand next to General Hammond and smiled at him when he glanced at her.

Hammond smiled back. “Glad to have you back on base, Major.”

“Glad to be back, sir,” Sam replied. Daniella was four months old now and Sam had decided to go back to on-base work. She and Carpenter would be sharing the duties of fourth member of SG-1 and taking it in turns to go off-world. The mission that SG-1 were about to leave on was Carpenter’s mission, mainly because it was a six-month off-world mission and there was no way that Sam was spending that long away from her new-born baby. At the moment Daniella was in the infirmary with Janet. Sam, Daniella and Brad were still undergoing a lot of tests to make sure that everything was okay and today was the day for yet another mother and daughter check-up. Sam had left Daniella with Janet so she could see SG-1 off. She still wanted to feel like part of the team and involved somehow.

As Sam watched Teal’c enter the embarkation room, Daniel entered the control room.

“Sam,” he greeted.

“Daniel. Heading off to P9R-78F?” The instant the sentence was said, Sam regretted it. It was one of those uncomfortable, pointless questions like when someone told you they had booked a vacation and you asked if they were going anywhere nice. Why would someone book a vacation to somewhere that was not nice?

Daniel smiled. “Yep. Approximately our level of technology except their medical technology is years ahead of ours.”

“Six months to form a treaty with them, huh?”

“Well, the technology would be a great help and six months isn’t that long.”

“It’s gonna be odd,” Sam remarked. “You three gone and not here.”

“You’ve got a new person in your life, Sam. You won’t have time to miss us. We’ll miss you tons though.”

Sam smiled at her friend but was interrupted from saying anything by Colonel O’Neill. “Oh, Danny-boy!” he shouted up from the embarkation room. “You coming to P9R?” Sam looked down at the colonel and smiled at the mock-annoyed look on his face. She had seen him quite a few times since Daniella had been born, mainly after she had returned to work. Whenever SG-1 could, they would meet for lunch in the commissary, sometimes even Carpenter joined them. Of course, Sam still shared an office with the rest of them. She and O’Neill seemed to be getting on like they had done before. They were friends and teammates again. On a couple of occasions, Sam had wondered what O’Neill had come to tell her the day she given birth, but it soon vacated her brain. She watched as O’Neill then turned to Carpenter, who was standing behind him, and grinned.

“You better get going,” Sam said and Daniel nodded.

“See you in six months, Sam.”

Sam watched Daniel join the others. She could not describe the feeling that she had. It was beyond weird to see SG-1 gathering to leave the planet without her, especially for a six-month mission. Sam watched as the Stargate activated and her team walked through the wormhole.

She did not like this feeling at all.

SG – SG – SG

“Hey, Janet,” Sam greeted as she entered the infirmary. “Where is everyone?” she asked, referring to the fact that there was no one else present in the infirmary. It was odd to not see any patients or other staff in here. The only person other than Janet was Daniella, sleeping peacefully in her pram.

Janet approached Sam carefully. “I gave everyone a break.”

Sam looked at her curiously, but accepted it. “Okay. Well, I’m here for more testing. Have you done everything on Daniella?”

“Sam, do you remember your high school biology?” Janet asked, holding a file in her hands.

“Uh, yeah. What’s going on, Janet?”

“Here’s a question for you. If one parent has the blood group B and the other A what are the possibilities for their offspring?”

“A, B or AB, depending on their exact genotype.”

“So the offspring can’t be O?” Janet asked.

“Correct. Janet, what are you talking about?”

“You’re type A-positive and Brad is type O. Daniella is type AB. The only way for that to be is that her other parent has to be B.”

Oh my God, Sam thought immediately. This was impossible. This could not be happening.

“Sam, do you know what I’m saying?”

Sam just stood there in complete shock. How could this be happening? She had spent the past nine months believing a lie. She did not see how this was possible. Sure, she had slept with two different men in as many days, but she had taken the morning after pill with the first and used a condom with the second. Not doubting the pill, Sam had come to the conclusion that something must have happened to the condom to cause her pregnancy. Had she been wrong all the time?

“Sam?”

“He’s not the father,” she whispered not wanting to believe what she was saying. She had been thinking that she would prefer Brad not to be the father and now he was not. She looked down at Daniella who was lying in her pram, oblivious to the new revelation concerning her parentage.

“Who is the father, Sam? I need to run tests.”

“I think I should tell him before I tell you.”

“Don’t leave it too long,” Janet warned.

That would be hard, Sam thought to herself, because the father has just left on a six-month mission to the other side of the galaxy.

The End.