Thank You by Becc Carter

"Sara?"

Sam Carter sat curled up at the end of her couch; a forgotten mug of cold coffee sat on the table in front of her while her right hand loosely held the TV remote. Although the set was on, Sam's attention had drifted from the mind-numbingly dull infomercials some time earlier.

Her mind was lost in a dark cold reverie, one which refused to leave her while she was awake then followed her to bed and haunted her while she slept.

For the past couple of nights they were always the same. Since being rescued from Antarctica, the downtime SG-1 had been ordered to help speed along Sam and the Colonel's recovery time had only given her more time alone to relive the experience.

It had been the first time in Sam's life when she'd been sure she was about to die and had eventually accepted it. After trying everything she could think of to free the Colonel and herself from their icy prison, Samantha Carter had given up. Not easily, mind you. But in Sam's mind, that wasn't the point.

Had it not been for Daniel, Teal'c and the General both she and O'Neill would be dead. Eternally cold and alone. It scared her to think, had that happened, their bodies may never have been discovered. These images had shaken her awake the last two nights and she knew without a doubt they would continue to return for some

time.

She wasn't superhuman and she wasn't an emotionless rock. And just like everyone else these painful events that occurred in her life did scar her. But it wasn't just the thought of dying in that cave that haunted her.

"Sara?"

Sam's thoughts drifted from that of dying in the cave to those of the words murmured by the man who had laid beside through most of it. Before he'd spoken that one particular name, she hadn't minded the situation quite as much. If you have to experience it, why not experience it with someone you care about.

They'd been trapped there and although she hadn't enjoyed feeling completely helpless, she could have thought of worse people to be trapped with. Though at the time these thoughts had never entered her mind. It wasn't until she was released from the infirmary and allowed to return home that she realised how much worse it could have been.

"Sara?"

The name kept taunting Sam. As if saying 'He was mine once. He'll never be yours'. Jack had loved Sara once and Sam knew from experience that feelings lingered long after you had everyone believe the love was gone. True love never completely diminished. And Jack had loved Sara. Even now when he spoke of her the harsh bitterness was never in his voice.

Perhaps he no longer loved her, but he still cared and he occasionally missed her. Sam saw it more often than Jack would like anyone to know. The calling out of her name as Sam had laid beside him in the cave only proved this.

"Sara?"

"I'm here, Jack."

"Cold... It's cold..."

"I know. It's all right. You can sleep now."

She still felt terrible for lying to him. For having him believe Sara was comforting him. But she *had* brought him at least a little comfort and she was sure that if he knew what had been said, he'd appreciate it. So why did it feel so wrong?

=========

Knuckles connected with wood and the sound jolted Sam out of her misery. Wearily pulling her stiff form off the couch she slowly made her way towards the door. It was late now, Sam glanced at the clock on her way to the door and was surprised to see just how late it was.

Tempus fugit et nunquam revertitur.

Glancing through the peek-hole she stood confused for a moment before unlocking the door. She hadn't been expecting this.

"Sir?" Sam asked wearily as the door opened to reveal a tired looking Colonel.

"Hey," Jack nodded as he invited himself in, "I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."

"You don't live anywhere near here, Sir" Sam turned and narrowed her eyes slightly at him before closing the door and following him.

Jack smiled sheepishly, "I was running a few errands and took a small detour. I just...." he paused, "I wanted to see that you were dealing with everything okay."

"I'm fine." Sam lied.

"Well I'm not so feel free to share your secret."

Jack propped his crutches up and took a seat at one end of her couch while she returned to the spot at the opposite end where she'd sat earlier. The cushion was still warm.

"Alright I admit I can't shake this cold feeling. I know it's purely psychological yet I still pile the blankets on and turn the heat up."

"Does it help?" Jack asked softly

"No," Sam answered just as quietly.

The room fell silent as the two became lost in their own memories. When Sam could no longer stand the silence she asked, "How about you, Sir?"

"Doc fixed me up nicely. For the record she was impressed with your medical skills and very sympathetic towards me."

"Ah, sorry about what I put you through."

"No, Carter. Don't be. Alright it hurt like hell but thanks to you I'll be as good as new in no time. The bone's apparently healing quite nicely."

"Glad to hear that, Sir"

"Ya know, I was banged up pretty bad. Of all the SG-1 team members to be stranded with, I'm glad it was you."

Sam was surprised at both his words and the compassion in his voice. Jack caught her look. "Well think about it," he added, "Daniel probably would have caused me a hell of a lot more physical *and* mental pain and I just can't see the guy setting a broken bone."

Sam smiled as the mental images of Daniel attempting to play Doctor filled her mind.

"And Teal'c... well although I admit his strength may have set the bone quicker," he paused and stole a quick glance in Sam's direction, "he wouldn't have been my first choice to cuddle up next to."

Sam sighed, "I don't know. You try to do the right thing and you get teased in return."

Jack turned to face Sam, afraid he had taken it too far when he saw the small smile playing on her lips.

"Don't scare me like that!" he said with mock warning.

"Why not, Sir? You gave me a few pretty good scares." One of Jack's earlier words suddenly hit her and she widened her eyes slightly, "And I was *not* cuddling up next to you."

"Whatever you say, Captain."

Sam shook her head, "Well as I recall *Colonel*" she said, emphasizing the rank difference, "You seemed to enjoy it."

The flash of embarrassment on Jack's features was all the reaction Sam needed and she mentally gave herself a point.

"It was my..." Jack began but was quickly interrupted by Sam.

"You weren't carrying your side-arm as I recall."

"Well your recollection is wrong," Jack attempted to argue.

"Whatever you say, Sir."

"Are you questioning your commanding officer?"

"Me?" Sam asked innocently, "I'd never!"

"Uh huh," Jack smiled and then winced in pain, "Damn drugs are wearing off." he swore softly.

Although she didn't like seeing her friends in pain the sudden onset of it was a welcomed distraction from the conversation which had just occurred. The tension in the room had been becoming to thick for Sam's liking. She enjoyed the banter they threw at each other as long as it didn't reach the uncomfortable level. Which it almost had. He was her commanding officer, she was his 2IC. The Sara in her mind had been right: Sam could never allow herself to love him.

"Want me to drive you to see Janet?" Sam asked concerned at the look of pain on his features.

"Nah, I've made it through worse without pain killers before, remember."

Sam shook her head at him, "But now you have the option."

Jack was stubborn, "I'll be fine. I guess I should be going anyway. It's late."

Sam smiled as he made no attempt to leave the apartment. Jack glanced down at the couch. He'd never realised how comfortable it was until now. Sam saw the look.

"The couch is yours if you want to crash here for the night."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"But," Sam continued, "If your still in pain in the morning I'm driving you to the SGC is that clear?"

"Yes, Mom."

Sam ignored the comment and disappeared into her room, she returned a few minutes later and threw a pillow at an unsuspecting Jack.

"Oomph" he gasped in surprise.

Sam was about to dump a pile of blankets on his chest when she remembered his ribs. He didn't need the added pain right now.

"If you need anything you know where I am," she told him as she turned and was about to head for bed when he called her back.

"Sam?"

The use of her first name surprised her a little and she stopped in her tracks, "Yes?"

"I never thanked you," he said softly.

"Yes you did, Sir. Not that you needed to."

"No, Sam. I never *really* thanked you. So thank you."

"No, Sir. Thank you." Sam said as she moved over to where he now lay.

"For what?"

"Keeping me alive."

Jack nodded briefly, "As I recall, we kept each other alive."

Sam smiled and gently ruffled his hair lovingly. "I had a little help," She told him softly and added, "'Night, Sir". Before he had a chance to question her last remark she was already halfway to her room.

"'Night, Captain," he whispered through the darkness.

==========

Sam closed her bedroom door and changed out of her clothes quickly in the dark, not having bothered to flick the light switch. Pulling the covers over her chest, Sam smiled and whispered one last thank you before drifting off to sleep.

"Thank you, Sara."

THE END.

FEEDBACK lovingly embraced at Becc_Carter@yahoo.co.nz.

Chocolate coated clones will be given to those who send feedback :)

Becc's Disclaimer: ~No coffee was neglected or mistreated in anyway during the writing of this fic~ X-file and SG-1 fic http://www.angelfire.com/ms/msrfanfic/ Anti-Fowley FanFic http://www.angelfire.com/nm/TeaL/

=====

"Life can cheat death. It will always find a way" ~Divia "To live, Divia. To live" ~LaCroix Tal's Asylum http://www.angelfire.com/nm/Talitha/ IM: CelticGoddess79