Summary: Jack's thoughts when Sam gets that phone call in the briefing room
Rated: PG13
Genres: Angst, Episode Prologues & Epilogues
Original Archive Date: 2005 Aug 18
Warnings: None
Series: Moments
Chapters: 1 | Word count: 803 | Completed: Yes | Published: Sep 02, 2009 | Updated: Sep 02, 2009 | Read: 2006
Story Notes: Moments: Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website: http://www.ficwithfins.com/
Content Warnings: Some use of mild language
Season: 8
Spoilers: Threads
Sequel/Series Info: Drabble series of POVs based on a moment from an episode
Status: Complete
Archive: My site, Jackfic, SJD, Gateworld, FanFiction Net
Author's Note: Called a drabble because each individual paragraph is 100 words long. This series is not necessarily written or appearing in episode order so does not follow a particular sequence - except my whim in writing them.
1. Chapter 1 by Su Freund
The Call
Crap! You froze, Jack, loosen up and act naturally For crying out loud, this is ridiculous! You're looking, Jack, stop looking! Why is that creep calling her here? Doesn't he know any better? Dammit, we're only saving the planet is all. Doesn't he know that? Of course he knows that. So stop calling you moron. Carter you have to keep your man under control. At least you have the decency to look embarrassed. If you're gonna marry him we can't have him calling us here every two minutes, interrupting that brilliant brain. We need it way more than he does.
The wedding, that's why he calling. Of course the wedding, what else? It's coming up way too quick. Pretend you're not listening, Jack. Don't listen, damn you! La, la, la, la, la, la. Not working. Normally works. Work dammit! Nope, can't stop listening. Should be saving the planet but I'm listening to a screwy one-sided conversation about not being a good time to call. Go figure! Of course it isn't a good time. When is it ever a good time around here? She gave you a huge honkin' hint to get off the phone, so get of the freakin' phone!
Phew, he's off the phone! Meeting over, thank God. I can slink away, hide in my office and pretend that didn't happen. So, it's not an emergency, huh Carter? Then why is that man calling you in the middle of important meetings? Flowers? It's all about flowers for the freakin' wedding? Crap! It really is getting way too close for comfort. You froze again, Jack. Stop freezing whenever the W or P words are mentioned. Believe me, you'll live longer and happier. Just fiddle around with these papers and don't listen. Cool it! You're a general for crying out loud!
She looks even more embarrassed. Pissed with Dad, Carter, or the boyfriend? I can't believe I actually agreed to that man coming here to meet Jacob. Here? I must be out of my mind. At least I didn't have to see him, but what if I'd bumped into him in the hallway or something? Ack! That would be discomforting. It's not right that he should invade my home territory. I don't go terrorising him down at the precinct, do I? But what choice did I have? I couldn't really say no. It would have looked bad, and way too. obvious.
Can't afford to slip, Jack. Can't afford to show her how you're really feeling. Just be your normal irascible self and I doubt she'll even notice the difference. Sheesh! No wonder she's not interested in me. I'm not exactly the greatest catch. The only thing on my side is being a General. Sure sounds good, and it pays real well. Trouble is, she knows me better than that. Okay, so I'm no catch, but pretty boy? She could do waaay better than that. I wonder what Jacob thought? Guess I'll never know because I'm hardly gonna ask, now, am I?
It must be so obvious to her that this is killing me. Stop making it more obvious, Jack. I still have to work with her, be her CO, see her day in and day out. If she knows what I'm feeling inside it's just gonna get harder to deal with: increasingly awkward and more painful. Can it get more painful? Sure it can Jack; she's getting married. Nothing much worse could happen with the possible exception of death. Marriage is pretty final; death, well, extremely final. Either way I lose and neither way leaves me any hope. God help me!
What about me, Sam? What do you see when you look at me? A fool who's had a crush on you for years? A hero? A friend? An old man way past his prime? Just your CO? Wish I knew; or not! There was a time when you saw something good and special, but once you started dating him. Dating? That wasn't so bad, bad enough, but I could cope. Marriage? That's something else. Why'd you say yes? Do you really love him? I wish it was me. How do you expect me to watch you give yourself to him?
Look happy. Smile and appear genuine. How do I do that? This is a lot tougher than I imagined. I figured I could let her go but I can't. So, I'll pretend and keep this smile plastered on my face. She shouldn't even be here today. At least I could tell her to go meet Pete and choose flowers. Sticks in my throat, but I've gotta say it. Get out of here quick, Jack. Hide in your office, behind your internal barbed wire and machine gun towers. Go keep her away from you and your heart. Can't. Wish I could.
End
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