What the Janitor Saw
The janitor sighed as he ambled down the hall, heading towards the janitorial closet on Level 26, the same level as the Briefing Room. So far his day had consisted of precisely two things: one was getting refueled on the latest base goss, and the other was stumbling upon an oil spill on the MALP maintenance hall.
The hard way.
He rubbed his hip as he headed towards the corridor entrance to the Briefing Room. He saw Jonas Quinn leaning against the doorway, watching something with a satisifed smirk on his face. Wondering what was going on, the janitor glanced to the side as he passed the entryway.
And stopped dead.
Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were kissing.
Kissing Really Hard.
In front of Teal'c, Doctor Fraiser, Jonas, _and_ General Hammond.
The janitor froze solid for what seemed like hours, watching the entwined couple as they made out. He couldn't move.
Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were kissing each other in front of the General.
Which could only mean one thing.
The jantior resisted the sudden urge to dance, scream, shout and make a nuisance of himself. Today might just be the greatest day of his life. Not only would the SGC's signature couple finally come out into the open, free to express the emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface for seven years, but he would have the express honor of winning Pool #4: Will Sam and Jack Get Together? -- the longest running pool at the SGC, going back all the way to the first missions through the Gate. The verdicts had changed so many times that no one could keep track, but the janitor himself had bet on three years, right after seeing the Colonel zat the Major to drive the entity out of her body. He grinned, visualizing the size of the pool.
****
The janitor nearly bashed the commissary doors off their hinges, startling everyone as he skidded to a halt, facing everyone in the room. Due to a rather peculiar convergence of scheduling, at least half of the SG teams stationed at the SGC were present. The janitor could see SG-3, SG-5, SG-9 and SG-16, along with Sgt. Siler, Chevron Guy, most of Doctor Fraiser's nurses, and a lot of the maintenance staff.
Who were all staring at him like he had lost his mind.
He said, "You'll never believe what I just saw!"
"What?" asked a Lieutenant from SG-5, sitting near the door. He stared at the janitor like the janitor had lost his mind.
The janitor stared at the Lieutenant for a moment, then shifted his gaze back to the room at large and said, "I just saw Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill kissing!"
If he had just said that his pants were full of Goa'uld, he couldn't have gotten a more shocked response.
Everyone in the room collectively gasped. Chevron Guy and Sgt. Siler were suddenly standing in front of him, along with the COs of all the SG teams.
Sgt. Siler stared at the janitor. "Are you sure?"
The janitor nodded hurriedly. "Yeah! Hell yeah I'm sure! They were kissing like they hadn't seen each other for years! And," he lowered his voice, forcing everyone to lean in, "they were doing it in front of Teal'c,"
*GASP* went the crowd.
"Jonas,"
*GASP*
"Doctor Fraiser,"
*GASP!*
"and," he lowered his voice even further, "General Hammond!"
*GASP!!!!!!!!*
The entire room looked like a raft of stoned seals as all their jaws crashed to the floor in unison. One person from SG-9 stood up and said, "Then it's happened. The President must have changed the regulations for the SGC."
With that, the room fell into a frenzy of gossip. The janitor found himself at the center of a ring of crazed employees, all asking him for details about everything he had seen. He endeavoured to answer them to the best of his ability, when suddenly another janitor burst through the door, panting heavily. She looked around and cried out, "I just saw Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter run down into Level 28 and into the VIP quarters! And they were HOLDING HANDS!"
The room's frenzy redoubled, as people began to gossip even more firecely. Several other SGC employees who had seen the mad dash of the smitten couple appeared also. Anarchy raged in the room for at least five minutes, until Sgt. Siler raised his huge wrench and cleared his throat. He pointed at the janitor with the wrench.
"Well, I guess this means we give the man his winnings."
There was a mass groan as dollar bills and cheques began to make their way toward the janitor, who began to hurriedly stuff them into his pockets. He had nearly finished when a hush fell over the room, as everyone straightened up. The janitor turned and saw General Hammond in the doorway, watching everyone. He chuckled to himself and said, "What's the current pool number?"
Sgt. Siler said, "At the moment, sir, we believe it's #152."
The General nodded, glanced at the janitor and his stuffed pockets, and said, "I have a new pool."
Everyone moved in close to hear what the General had to say. Chevron Guy handed Siler a book full of markings and listings; it was called the SGC Holy Book of Betting Pools and had been constructed by Siler the day he had been transferred to the SGC.
The General declared, "The new pool title is: Where Will Jack Propose to Sam?" He grinned and said, "Put down $500 for the Gate Room on my name." As Siler made the entry, he looked at he janitor and said, "How much did you win?"
The janitor gulped and said, "$2,700."
The General handed the janitor a check and said, "I bet $1,000. Don't blow your winnings all at once."
The janitor nodded like a drunken bobblehead. The General looked around at the massed SGC employees and said, "Try to keep the gossip at the same general level, everyone."
The CO of SG-9 spoke up. "Sir, did the regulations really change?"
The General nodded. "The President has decided to amend the SGC Regulations regarding fraternization. After seven years, he finally understands that the pressures of our highly classified work preclude the restricted nature of the original regs. If it works out here, he'll try it at places with a higher personnel turnover."
No one spoke.
The General got the idea. "No. Not yet. Wait a while." With those final, cryptic words, he turned and walked out. The janitor looked around at the massed personnel. His gaze stopped on Siler. "Put me down for the Gate Room too. I'll bet $100." He turned around and walked out to the sound of redoubled gossiping frenzy.
Today was the best day of his life.
****
The janitor was on hand, out in the hallway behind General Hammond, when Jack made his proposal on the catwalk to Sam. He cheered along with everyone else when Sam accepted. The General laughed and said, "I do believe the President, and Jacob, and maybe even a few others and I need to have a talk......" He saw the janitor and said, "Looks like you win again."
The janitor couldn't resist. "Sir, um..... did you say that General Carter and the President also bet on #152?"
Over the roar of the cheering, the General nodded. "The President thought Jack would wait until next week's Air Force function in Washington. Jacob thought Jack would do it on top of Cheyenne Mountain." He shrugged, grinning. "Guess I owe you some more money."
The janitor shook his head. "No, sir. It's your turn to win. You placed the first bet, you win the pool." The janitor took out his wallet and handed the General $100. "I'll get the rest to you soon, sir."
The General looked like he was about to protest, but the janitor said, "I insist, sir. It's enough to know that I guessed correctly, just like you." He glanced into the Gate Room and saw Teal'c, Jonas and Doctor Fraiser all clustered around Sam and Jack, talking excitedly about the wedding, no doubt. He returned his attention to the General. "If I may ask, sir, how much did the President and General Carter bet?"
The General got a crafty look on his face. "Jacob owes me $500. The President owes me $2,000."
The janitor's eyes widened. He looked back into the Gate Room and saw Sam, Jack and the rest of SG-1 walking out. He said, "Look, sir, here they come."
The General turned around and congratulated Sam and Jack on their newfound engagement. Jack shook the General's hand and commiserated, whiel Sam hung on his arm, smiling so brightly that she was almost lighting up the whole room. She looked over at the janitor and loosed herself from Jack's embrace. She walked over to the janitor and said, "The betting pool?"
The janitor nodded. "Yes, ma'am. General Hammond won this time. I won the previous one."
"The previous one?" Sam enquired.
The janitor squirmed, feeling uncomfortable. "Yes, ma'am. Pool #4 was a bet on when you and Colonel O'Neill would finally get together. After the incident with the entity, ma'am, I decided that three more years would pass before, well......"
Sam smiled and grapsed his shoulder. "No problem. I understand the way it works. How much did you win?"
The janitor demurred, but Sam spurred him on, and he finally admitted to $2,700 in winnings. Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "That much? Amazing."
The janitor nodded. Sam went on, "Are there any more pools revolving around Jack and I?"
The janitor shook his head, suddenly wondering if he was in trouble. Sensing his underlying concern, Sam shrugged and clarified, "I don't care if there are, I was just wondering." The janitor sighed in relief. Sam smiled again and said, "Well, it was nice to talk to you."
The janitor smiled. God, Jack was a lucky man. What a gorgeous woman. "Thanks, ma'am."
Jack came over and grasped Sam's arm, asking her if she was finished. She nodded, and the two walked away. The janitor watched them walk off, and suddenly thought of something. Pool #155: What Date Will Jack Set?
****
The janitor walked out of the maintenance closet on Level 23, the highest level the SGC utilized; it was full of offices and such. It was also the terminus of most of the upper elevators. He carried an armload of cleaning supplies around the corner. After the euphoria of his winnings wore off, he used the money to pay off a few minor debts, and put the rest into his bank account. He didn't mind that he had forgoed the winnings for Pool #152, which had been substantially higher; he knew the General had deserved it far more than he had.
He sighed as he rounded the corner, juggling the supplies to keep them from falling. Everyone at the SGC was in a bit of a funk lately, what with the clandestine revelation that Colonel O'Neill didn't remember his relationship with Major Carter. Betting Pool #155 hadn't had a single bet placed for the past three days. It was too depressing to think about.
As the janitor rounded the corner, he stopped. And almost dropped the supplies.
He saw Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill walk out of an elevator.
Holding hands.
And the Colonel was smiling, and so was the Major.
Like they had just kissed.
The janitor literally could not believe his eyes. Did the Colonel really remember or was this something else? Then he saw the Major wheel around and kiss the Colonel.
Hard.
Oh yeah, he definitely remembered.
He couldn't move as they broke off and walked past. Jack glanced at him and rolled his eyes, while Sam, recognizing him, mouthed, "He remembers!"
The janitor remained fixed in position as he watched the reunited couple walk into an elevator, close the door, and continue making out.
Then he did drop the supplies.
He ran like a bat out of hell down to the commissary, knocked the doors in, and to his surprise, found the same general cross-section of SGC employees present.
Who all stared at him like he had lost his mind again.
He breathed heavily for a moment, then said, "Colonel O'Neill remembered his relationship with Major Carter!"
And the SGC Holy Book of Betting Pools came forth once more.
THE END
Story Notes: I always wondered what the general workforce of the SGC would do when they found out about Sam/Jack....... Read "Memories and Relationships" first, or you may not know what's happening, and it will spoil my other story!
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End Notes: Please! Feedback!
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DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]