samandjack.net

Story Notes: Author: Siobhan Gormley (aq806@freenet.carleton.ca)

Rating: G-ish

Classification: Sam and Jack, friendship/possible romance

Summary: Jack thinks about his relationships. Takes place between "The Fifth Race" and "A Matter of Time".

Required reading: none

Spoilers: "The Fifth Race", "Cold Lazarus"

Distribution: The S&J fic archive, Heliopolis, and my site http://members.tripod.com/~Web7thLevel/TVLAND/pfa.html

Feedback: Love it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story. I intend no infringement in the use of the characters, who incidentally belong to Gekko, Double Secret, and MGM, and I make no money off of writing this story. It is simply for my, and hopefully the reader's, enjoyment.

Author's note: Well, after Wendy and Ness' recent fics, I got to thinking about the whole 'How do Sam and Jack feel about each other in the canon universe' issue. Then, upon seeing "The Fifth Race" and thinking 'Damn, Jack/RDA looks tired' near the end of the ep, I came up with this little fic. So here we go with...


"Contemplations"
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"C'mon, what's taking so long..." Sam Carter complained as she watched her computer slowly process the latest info from one of the new planets that had been visited. Col. O'Neill's recent reprogramming of the control room computer systems had given them a wealth of new 'gates to go through, and some interesting new artifacts to examine. Sam only wished that he had reprogrammed all of the computers so that she could get her paperwork done faster.

Sam leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes tiredly and yawning.

"You really should get some sleep, Carter. Can't have my favorite computer geek wiped out," Jack teased from the back of the computer lab. Sam swiveled around to throw out a witty comment, but bit it back once she caught a glimpse of her commanding officer. He looked like hell.

"I think you need the sleep more than I do, sir," she replied. Jack gave her a wan smile.

"I've been sleeping."

"It can't be much." Sam got up from her chair, joining him at the back of the lab. Upon a closer look, he seemed even worse. His features were drawn and there were incredibly obvious bags under his eyes. She was surprised that no one else had noticed this.

"How much sleep have you gotten lately?" she asked, worry evident in her tone.

"Lately? Well, since we went to P3R272..maybe a couple of hours. Here and there." Sam's expression registered immediate surprise.

"How the hell are you able to stand up?" she blurted out, then added, "Sir." Jack simply shrugged.

"It's been..five days since we were there! Sir, your body needs sleep. You won't last long if you keep this up. You should get to bed."

"Is that an order, *captain*?" he questioned, a touch of sarcasm to his voice. Sam flushed.

"No," she replied carefully, "I'm just concerned about your welfare. As I'm sure every one else would be if they knew." Jack's defenses seemed to lower after hearing this. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks for your concern, Sam, but I've tried. The bunks here aren't exactly the best for getting any real sleep in..."

"Then I'll take you home. General Hammond has us on stand-down for another 24 hours."

"Sam, you don't have to do that," O'Neill protested, but he could tell it was useless the minute the words were out. Carter had that determined look on her face that stated that there was no way in hell he was going to be able to fight her on this. Jack let out a resigned sigh.

"Alright, just let me get a couple of things."

"I'll go inform the general of our whereabouts. I'll meet you back here in ten minutes."



***



Sam drove up in front of the colonel's house, then turned off the engine.

"I can tuck myself in," Jack commented as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"I'm sure you can. I just want to make sure you actually get into the bed and sleep." O'Neill shook his head. There she went again, looking all determined.

"Don't you trust me?" Sam shot him a look, making Jack raise his hands in a mock-defensive posture.

"Alright, alright, let's get going before the neighbors start to talk." Sam couldn't stop a small smile from appearing on her face. He could be such a child.

They got out of the car and walked up to the front door without a word. Jack opened the front door, then held it for Sam as she followed him in.

"Are you going to see me *all* the way to bed?" he teased as he shut the door.

"If that's what it takes," she replied, her mouth quirking up in a grin. O'Neill's eyebrows raised in interest, making Carter laugh. "Go get changed and get into bed. I'll be up in a few minutes to check on you."

"Yes, mom," he joked. Sam rolled her eyes and gave him a good-natured shove towards the stairs. She watched him go up the stairs, then headed for the kitchen once he had disappeared into his bedroom.



***



"Colonel, is it okay to come in?" Sam asked from the other side of the partially open bedroom door.

"What if I say no?" Sam sighed, then pushed open the door. He was sitting in the centre of the bed under the covers, a couple of pillows propping him up. He wore a t-shirt, but the covers hid anything else he might be wearing. Or not wearing.

[Mind out of gutter, Samantha,] she silently chastised herself.

"I brought you some warmed up milk. Always helped me get to sleep," Sam informed him as she approached the bed, holding out the glass she had been carrying.

"Thanks," he replied and took it from her. Sam stood back from the side of the bed, unsure of what to do next. After taking a sip, Jack looked at her. She seemed a bit anxious.

"Why don't you sit down?" he asked, patting the bedcovers beside him. Sam flushed noticeably. "Just to talk," he added, mildly embarrassed and inwardly kicking himself. Last thing he needed to do was bring about a harrassment suit.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Sam asked, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed. Jack looked away and seemed to consider her question for a moment before answering.

"What's it like to be smart? I mean *really* smart?" he wondered, looking at Sam as he finished talking. Carter was surprised at his questions.

"What exactly do you mean, sir?"

"Well, take you for instance. You're pretty smart, you've got your doctorate to prove that. You pick up on things fast..."

"Colonel, just because I pick up on things doesn't make me any smarter than the next person."

"Makes you smarter than me." Sam flashed back to the first time they had met where a slightly similar statement had been made.

"Every person is smart in their own domain, sir. Including you. You're an excellent tactician..."

"Yeah, but that only does me good inside the military. You, you can go any where and be smart. You can talk about anything and actually be able to have evidence to back you up." Sam sighed.

"Does this have anything to do with the knowledge you received from the 'Ancient Ones'?" she asked carefully.

"I guess it does," Jack replied after a moment. "It felt really strange to have all that knowledge in my brain, yet I never really understood it. And now that it's gone, I..I guess I kinda miss it." Sam gave Jack a look.

"After all you went through by having it in there?" Jack shrugged.

"I know, it seems odd even to me, but there you go. For a while there I actually felt a little smart, even if I didn't totally understand what was going on all the time."

"Interesting," Sam commented. She flushed slightly as she got a look from O'Neill. "I mean..."

"I know what you mean, Carter," he interjected, his tone light. Jack sighed. "Did you know that I went straight into the military right out of high school?" Sam shook her head. "Well, I did. And you know why? Because I didn't feel I was smart enough for college. Sure there was the whole 'serving your country' feeling that came with joining up, but I had always had this nagging fear in the back of my mind that I'd make a fool of myself if I tried to get into college, that I would fail. And I hate to fail."

Sam felt surprised by the colonel's sudden candor, but she wasn't about to voice that feeling. It felt good that he thought he could be this open with her. To her it showed how deeply their friendship ran.

Jack finished up the last of the warm milk, finding himself yawning. Sam noticed the yawn and went to get up from the bed, but O'Neill stopped her from going with a hand on her arm.

"You don't have to go."

"You're tired, you need to sleep," she replied with a mothering tone.

"Wait until I fall asleep," he requested. Sam was unsure, but when he gently tugged on her arm again, she complied. It was only until he fell asleep after all.

"Okay then, what do I do now?" she wondered aloud as she sat comfortably on the bed again and Jack slid further under the covers.

"Just keep talking," he said, letting out another yawn. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I'm that boring, am I?" she joked. Jack smiled tiredly, his eyelids beginning to close.

"Nah, I just.." he yawned again, "..like the sound of your voice." Sam wasn't sure she had heard him right near the end since he had gotten kind of quiet, but she could have sworn he had just complimented her.

[Oh well, take what you can get, right?] she thought. Just as she went to go say something, a light snore emanated from the colonel, bringing a smile to Carter's face.

Sam moved slowly to the edge of the bed, intent now on leaving since Jack was finally asleep. She went to stand up, but found herself feeling the tiredness she had been ignoring for the past while catching up with her. She looked back at O'Neill, watching him sleep. He was way gone, she thought. He wouldn't mind...

"Just for a couple of minutes," Sam commented to herself out loud as she lay down on the comfortably inviting bed.



***



"Mm," Jack moaned, feeling himself waking from much needed sleep. He breathed in and was made suddenly aware that he was not holding onto a pillow, but another human being. One that smelled *really* good.

"Sa.." he began, slowly opening his eyes, then stopped himself when he saw whom he was spooning. It was most definitely not his former wife, as his brain had made him think initially.

Jack attempted to move without waking Sam, but found he was pretty much trapped in place until she did wake up.

[There could be worse ways to be trapped,] he mused, a small grin appearing on his face. [Better not say that out loud O'Neill, don't want to lose one of your best friends because you can't keep your hormones in check.]

Sam moved in her sleep, turning towards him and off his trapped arm, allowing him to move it while letting her continue to sleep.

Jack knew he should get up and leave her there alone, but as he watched her sleep, he found himself not wanting to go. It was funny, they had been on countless missions together, had camped out on many of them, yet he had never really noticed how peaceful she looked as she slept. She literally looked like an angel.

[Where the hell is this coming from?] O'Neill asked himself, taken aback at his thoughts. He sat up, mulling it over.

Yes, he cared a great deal about Sam, but he cared a great deal about all his teammates. And yes, there was a definite attraction there, he'd have to be blind and dead below the waist to not be attracted to her. Who was he kidding, he'd have to be *dead* to not be attracted to her. But still, he felt there was something more, something he couldn't really 'vocalize' right now, but it was there. It was there when she smiled at him, when she laughed at all his bad jokes, the way she played along with his flirtatious nature...

[Dammit, Jack, sounds like you're falling in love.] O'Neill shook his head at this thought. That couldn't be right. He still loved Sara.

[You may still love her, but are you still 'in love' with her?] Jack thought about this. Yes, he still loved Sara, but he could not say for sure if he was still 'in love' with her. Things had been left too open when they had separated and eventually divorced. Even after seeing Sara again when his fake self had come through from P3X562, they had talked briefly, but nothing had been resolved. And even though he had begun to move on, that fact still held him back.

Jack's thoughts drifted away from Sara when he glanced down at Sam as she moved again in her sleep. She truly did amaze him. She had put up with a lot of crap, not only from him, but from the whole military establishment. She had really made something of herself, yet she seemed like she was extremely humble about her accomplishments. And he had a feeling she would always be like that. Not that a little humility was a bad thing.

Jack sighed. Was he ever going to figure out what the hell was going on with him and Sam? Okay, correction, what was going on with *him*. Better not include his teammate in this..*whatever* it was unless she brought it up.

Jack looked back at Sam as he heard her muttering quietly, then stretching out fully. Finally her eyes opened, and she was staring straight at him, embarrassed. A fierce blush crept up her face and O'Neill couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Mornin'," he commented.

"Is it morning already?" she asked, a touch nervously. She went to move, then tried to surreptitiously look and make sure she still had all her clothing on since she had somehow made it under the covers during the night.

"Don't worry," he began upon noticing her looking, "you were a perfect lady." Sam felt the blush heating her face even more at his teasing comment.

"So it's morning?" she asked again, ignoring his response as she slipped out from under the covers, standing up beside the bed.

"I guess so. At the very least it's light out, so I'm assuming that we're at some point in the day."

"Don't you have a clock?" she queried, looking around.

"Never cared much for alarm clocks. I normally wake up on my own, on time."

"Well, I guess I better, um.." Sam paused, considered something, then continued, "Would you mind if I wash up? I want to get back to the base to finish up some work and I don't really want to wait 'til I get there to clean up." Jack nodded.

"Go right ahead. Spare towels are in the closet," he replied, indicating with a nod of his head the partially open closet door across the room. Sam quickly thanked him, then grabbed a couple of towels, finally heading for the bathroom.

"Interesting," Jack thought aloud as he pondered Sam's reactions upon waking.



***



Sam stood under the shower, leaning her forehead against the tiling. What the hell was *wrong* with her!? So she fell asleep next to the colonel, big deal. This was nothing new, considering they camped out quite often on missions. And he had not seemed bothered by it. But something in the back of her mind had her all nerved up and thinking that something new was happening, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. And this made her even more edgy. She *hated* not being able to figure things out.

Carter moved her head back, letting the water wash over it for a minute, almost as if she was hoping the water would wash out this niggly little detail that sat on the tip of her consciousness. She then moved back from the direct spray, deciding that she better get a move on before the colonel started to wonder why she was taking so long. She could ponder this later, when she was truly in private.



THE END --



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Siobhan Gormley (aq806@ncf.ca)
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