PART ONE - DANIEL
I swear I didn't plan it, it just kind of happened. If I'd have known, I wouldn't have asked her, we wouldn't have... well, I guess I'd better start at the beginning. It was after that body changing nightmare with Machello. It felt good to be alive and young again...
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"Sam! Sam! Wait up."
She stopped and turned towards me, her face illuminated by a smile. "Daniel. How are you feeling?"
"Fine. Young. No arthritis."
"Good. You had us worried there for a while."
"I wanted to say thank you."
A small frown crossed her face, she obviously wasn't sure what I was grateful for.
"I wanted to say thank you for being with me in the infirmary. For not just liking me for my looks."
She laughed softly at the reference to our earlier conversation. "Don't mention it. Hey, what are friends for?" She swatted me playfully on the arm.
I laughed and winced, clutching my arm as if she'd hurt me. I looked at her, straight into those clear blue eyes and that was when I did it, when I uttered the words that changed everything.
"Would you come out to dinner with me tonight? I really could use the company."
"Yes, that would be great. What time?"
"I'll pick you up at seven. Italian OK?"
"Fine. See you at seven."
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I booked a table at a restaurant in town and went to pick Sam up as I'd promised. I'd tidied myself up a bit, which for me meant I was wearing matching socks, a clean shirt and pants that had a crease down them. I know I'll never qualify as a fashion victim, but the restaurant was a nice one so I wanted to look presentable and not embarrass Sam.
When she opened the door I've got to admit I was speechless. I don't very often see her out of uniform and I couldn't remember ever seeing her look so lovely. She was wearing a knee length dark blue dress that clung to her figure in all the right places, her hair looked softer than usual and the extra make-up just accentuated her beauty. I must have been standing there with my mouth open for a few moments until I found my manners and stammered, "You look amazing, Sam. Beautiful."
She smiled bashfully and thanked me. "Its nice to see you out of uniform too." She turned, picked up her jacket and keys and we made our way to the car.
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The evening passed in a kind of haze. We talked about anything and everything. SGC, the worlds we'd visited, doing research, what it was like to want to study so much that other kids thought you were weird. She told me about her Mom, I told her about my parents. Thinking back, I can't even remember what we ate. My recurring memory of that night is Sam sitting across the table from me, her face glowing in the candlelight, her eyes dancing with amusement.
Eventually we realised we were the only customers left in the restaurant and the waiter was ostentatiously clearing his throat.
"I think we've outstayed our welcome, Daniel."
I laughed and paid the bill. As we left the restaurant I held the door open for her and then offered her my arm as we made our way back to the car. Smiling at me, she linked her arm in mine and rested her head gently against my shoulder.
"And they say chivalry is dead," she murmured, half into my jacket.
"What can I say? I'm just an old-fashioned kind of guy."
I drove her home and when she invited me in for a coffee I accepted. We walked through into the kitchen and as she filled the coffee machine and switched it on I found I was staring at her, thinking how beautiful she was and how much I wanted her. The feeling of desire was palpable, an ache deep inside. Until now, I hadn't thought of Sam like that, she was just one of the guys. I guess deep down I always thought that her and Jack would get it together eventually. When they both stopped making excuses. And, of course, I'm married. But I'd not seen Sha're for months and even then she was possessed by a Goa'uld and giving birth to another man's child. Realistically, I may never get her back. And there was this lovely woman who I like and respect standing in front of me smiling and speaking to me.
Speaking?
"... all right, Daniel?"
"Ye- yeah," I stammered.
She handed me a cup and motioned that I should follow her into the living room. We both sat on the sofa and lapsed into silence, sipping our coffee.
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PART TWO - SAM
Janet has told me several times to "seize the day". To get out and have fun, not wait forever for Jack O'Neill to wake up and smell the roses. She knows, you see. She guessed months ago that I carry a torch for the good Colonel. Not that he's ever noticed. So when Daniel asked me out, I said yes. After all, he's a good friend, a man I respect, like, and, most of all, trust. That's how we ended up back at my place...
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We sat cradling our drinks, a few feet apart on the sofa. He'd become quiet and seemed lost in thought. My mind began to drift too. Stealing surreptitious glances at his lips, his hands, I wondered what it would be like to kiss him, to be touched by him. I was surprised at myself, I'd been locked into a 'I only fantasise about Jack O'Neill' rut for so long I'd never noticed Daniel. I looked up at him one more time and found my stare met by a gaze of such naked desire it took my breath away. He took my coffee from me and placed it on the table. Then he reached across and took one of my hands in his. I could feel my heart beating faster. I seemed to be having difficulty breathing.
"Sam, there's something I want to say..."
"Daniel..."
"No, let me finish. Then you can throw me out if you want, but I've got to
say it." He looked away nervously, then licked his lips and carried on. "Sam, I want to make love to you."
His blue eyes shone intently through his glasses, staring deeply into mine. He leaned in slowly, as if waiting for me to object. I didn't. When our lips met, I responded willingly, relishing the feel of him. It had been too long. His hand stroked the side of my face, his fingers tangling in my hair. I found myself putting my arms around his neck and drawing him closer. That was when I decided, I wanted him too.
When we broke apart for air he smiled at me, his eyes full of tenderness. He continued to gently caress my face. "I've been blind, Sam. I never realised how beautiful you were."
This time it was me that instigated the kiss. I ran my hands through his long hair exploring his mouth as his hands began to explore my body. I let out a moan as he found my breasts. I slipped my hand under his shirt and he sucked in a sharp breath as I touched the bare skin of his stomach.
Breaking off the kiss I removed his glasses, carefully setting them down on a nearby table. His eyes were clouded with desire and when he reached forward to kiss me again I felt a familiar pressure begin to build deep within. He pushed me back onto the sofa kissing me on my neck and my face. His caressing hands were wreaking havoc with my senses. I was on fire.
When his hands moved to the fastening of my dress I pulled away from him. He looked at me questioningly, afraid that he'd overstepped the mark. I shook my head gently.
"It's OK, Daniel. Come with me."
I got to my feet, took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
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When I woke I could feel his arm draped over my waist. I could hear his breathing. He was still sound asleep. Glancing over at the clock I realised we were going to be late if we didn't hurry. As I propped myself up on one elbow to watch him I smiled, remembering our lovemaking the previous night. He stirred slightly, sighing in his sleep. Leaning over, I kissed him on the lips. His eyes opened, he squinted at me and smiled.
"Mmm... Morning."
"Morning to you."
He looped his arm around my neck and pulled me towards him for a slow, lingering kiss.
"We don't have the time for this, Daniel. We're going to be late for work."
"Let's be late. It's only a boring briefing about a potentially boring planet."
He kissed me again. I managed to free myself before my brain turned to mush.
"Daniel!" I tried to sound stern.
Raising his hands in submission he muttered, "OK, OK... Do you mind if I take a shower?"
"Of course not. Towels in the closet."
"Thanks."
He kissed me one last time, winked and hopped out of bed.
As I lay there, I listened to him in the bathroom. He sings in the shower. Tunelessly. I smiled and stretched languidly. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so contented. A sense of fulfilment washed over me as I took a slow deep breath. I could still smell him. His after shave, a kind of spicy citrus, mixed with a very masculine odour that was essentially Daniel.
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PART THREE -- JACK
I'm not easily shocked. I'd thought that over the years I'd seen it all. But that morning Daniel shocked the hell out of me...
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He came bouncing into the locker room, a grin splitting his face from ear to ear. When I'd last seen him the day before he'd been in a weird mood, kind of introspective and quiet, which for Daniel is an unusual state of affairs. That body switching was a bizarre experience for all of us but Daniel got the worst of it. I guess that could have a strange effect on a guy.
"Hi Daniel, you're very... er... cheerful this morning."
"Oh Jack, you wouldn't believe what happened last night."
"Hot date?" I ventured, expecting him to start telling me about some rock
he'd been up all night studying.
I was watching him as I spoke and I'd swear he actually blushed. "Yeah, you could say that."
I slapped him on the back. "Daniel, you dog! So who was it? That cute nurse from the infirmary who keeps asking you if you feel OK? She never asks me. I don't think she'd care if I dropped dead."
He shook his head. "No, I went out to dinner with Sam."
I felt a sudden sharp twinge of something, like Daniel had stabbed me.
"And we went back to her place... and, well, one thing led to another..."
The knife twisted.
I felt the beginnings of a white hot murderous rage. I wanted to tear him limb from limb. My mind flooded with unwanted images of them having dinner, of him kissing her, of them making love. My fists clenched. I shuddered. Daniel and Sam. My Sam. Except I'd never told her how I felt and now it was too late. Daniel was still speaking to me and I hadn't been listening.
"Isn't it great, Jack?"
"What about Sha're?"
OK, low blow. But I was mad as hell and struggling not to show it. My comment didn't phase Daniel at all.
"How long am I supposed to wait, Jack? It's been two years, it could be another two or twenty or she may never come back. I could grow old and bitter like Machello hoping that one day I'll find her and by some miracle she'll be herself. But being trapped in his body made me think - you can't live your life like that. You've got to live for today."
I must have still looked doubtful, because he carried on.
"I like Sam. She's clever and beautiful and we have a lot in common. And for some unknown reason, she seems to like me. Asking her out was a spur of the moment thing, but I'm so glad I did."
I managed to smile and say, "I hope it works out for you."
Then he made some excuse about needing to see Sam and left. I guess he was so excited he didn't notice my mood. At least I'd stayed polite.
After he'd gone I slumped down on the bench, my head in my hands. I felt totally betrayed. My two closest friends. It should be me with Sam, not Daniel. Why wasn't it? Because I'm more concerned with protocol and regulations than living my life. Because I'm frightened she doesn't feel the same way. Because I'm an idiot. Despair set in. There was nothing I could do. I had to try and hide how I felt, and behave normally.
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Over the next few weeks I guess I got used to seeing them together but it didn't hurt any less. It was the little things that really got to me. Him checking her pack for her. Her smiling at him when she didn't think anyone else was looking. Once I even caught her wiping a smudge off his glasses with a corner of her shirt. The time I walked into the lab and caught them kissing made me feel physically sick. But of course I made some comment about locking the door and made light of it. I didn't want her to know. She was happy with him. He was happy with her. I'd been a fool. I'd missed my chance at happiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PART FOUR - TEAL'C
Sometimes I find the behaviour of the Tau'ri puzzling but just occasionally I understand far more than they give me credit for...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel Jackson had explained to me about his relationship with Captain Carter. I believe the word he used was "dating". He had decided he needed to move on with his life. I could understand this decision.
Captain Carter and Daniel Jackson seemed very happy. O'Neill did not. Initially, I had deduced that his bad temper was a result of worrying that their relationship would damage the team. After a few weeks I realised I was wrong. O'Neill also had feelings for Captain Carter and was exhibiting all the signs of jealousy.
I tried to distract him. I even suggested we attended a hockey game together but his mood did not improve. He was quiet and morose preferring his own company to that of his friends. He could not bear to see them displaying affection for each other. In his opinion, Daniel Jackson could do nothing right and whenever Captain Carter made a mistake he put it down to her involvement with our archaeologist.
On one occasion I even tried to get him to talk about it. "O'Neill, do you wish to tell me about your feelings for Captain Carter?"
He almost choked. "What feelings? I don't have *feelings* for Sam. Can we talk about something else?"
He never calls her Sam when we are on duty. I did not bring the subject up again.
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We were assembled in the Gate Room waiting to go on our next mission to P3X139. Daniel Jackson whispered something to Captain Carter that made her laugh. This annoyed O'Neill.
"Let's say it so the whole class can hear, shall we?"
"Sorry Jack."
"Sorry, Sir."
Then the Stargate rumbled into life. "Showtime, kids!" said O'Neill, as he adjusted his pack.
"Off world activation!" came the announcement and we were pushed to the rear of the room by a squad of armed security guards.
"Who's due back?" asked Daniel Jackson.
Captain Carter answered him, "I didn't think anyone was."
Then the General's voice boomed over the tannoy. "It's Master Bra'tac's signal. Lower your weapons."
The Gate roared into life and I stood to attention waiting for my friend and mentor to appear. After a moment, the familiar form of Master Bra'tac stepped through the shimmering surface closely followed by a slight figure in a hooded cloak. I moved forward.
"Master Bra'tac, it is an honour."
"As always, Teal'c."
O'Neill was close behind me. "Who's the guest, Bra'tac?"
"It is safe, my child," said the Master softly, as he touched his companion on the shoulder. She lifted her hood, revealing a beautiful face framed by dark curling hair.
I heard Captain Carter gasp then Daniel Jackson exclaimed, "Sha're!" and was by her side before O'Neill could stop him.
"Is it really you?" he asked incredulously.
"Or is it Ammounet?" added O'Neill.
Master Bra'tac answered them both. "No, it is Sha're. The Goa'uld has gone. When Apophis died, Ammounet decided this host was too conspicuous, too easily recognised to be safe. So she moved on. No-one knows where to. We found Sha're two weeks ago. She was very sick. We have nursed her back to health and as soon as she was well enough to travel I brought her to her husband."
Daniel searched Sha're's face looking for confirmation that Master Bra'tac's words were true.
"It is me, my Daniel," she said simply.
He closed the short distance between them and enveloped her in an embrace. When they kissed the moment was so intimate I found myself having to look away. Turning towards O'Neill and Captain Carter I noticed O'Neill was watching Captain Carter with a look of extreme concern. This appeared justified as Captain Carter was pale and haggard, seemingly unable to drag her eyes away from Daniel Jackson and Sha're.
It was at this point that General Hammond entered the room. After greetings were exchanged he turned to Sha're.
"Mrs. Jackson, if you don't mind I'd like to have Dr.Frasier check you out. Purely a precaution."
She turned to her husband, a puzzled look clouding her features.
"It's OK," he reassured her, "I'll come with you."
He took her hand and led her down the ramp, stopping in front of Captain Carter. Taking in her anguished expression he said quietly, "I'm sorry."
She nodded sadly and murmured, "I know."
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PART FIVE - SAM
I always knew she could come back. I just didn't expect her to...
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As they left the Gateroom I was trying desperately hard not to cry. I had to get control of myself. The mood the Colonel had been in lately I'd be for the high jump if he saw me crying on duty. I bit my lip and looked at the floor. I wasn't in love with Daniel, at least not yet, but I cared about him and I knew he cared about me. Why did she have to come back? I stopped myself. She'd been taken away from her husband against her will, turned into a host and I was upset she'd been released from a living hell? I needed a reality check.
"Carter?... Sam?"
I felt a hand on my shoulder and, turning, found myself looking into the Colonel's concerned brown eyes. I lost my battle with the tears. He didn't say a word. Just put his arms round me and let me sob into his shirt. I could feel him gently rubbing my back.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"Don't be. It's not your fault, or his. No-one would have seriously expected her to come back."
He hugged me tighter and stroked my hair. My sobbing gradually subsided. I fished out a handkerchief and blew my nose.
"You going to be OK?" he asked.
"Yeah. Guess so."
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Later that day, Daniel came to see me. I guess we both needed the closure but it was an awkward, painful meeting. He apologised for hurting me, for leading me on. I told him not to blame himself.
"Come on Daniel. It takes two to tango. I knew what I was getting into."
"I still wish I hadn't..."
"We had fun. Four weeks of it. Let's leave it at that."
He nodded and got up to leave. "I told Sha're about us. I didn't want our relationship to become something secret and sordid."
"What did she say?"
He didn't look at me when he answered, "She understood." He walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Be happy, Sam. You deserve it."
"You too." I tried to smile. "Now get back to your wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of weeks later Daniel and Sha're invited the rest of SG1 round for dinner. I enjoyed the evening more than I'd expected to. It was good to see him with Sha're, to see how much they loved each other. We were never that close. He belonged with her, I could see that.
Things were still pretty weird between Daniel and myself. On one occasion I noticed him looking at me in a way that made me think of the nights we spent together. I had to turn away. I hope one day we'll get back to how we used to be, when we were "just good friends".
As we were leaving, Jack pulled me to one side. "You all right?"
"Yeah," I replied. I glanced back at the house. "They were made for each other, weren't they?"
"Yeah, they were." He paused, and licked his lips nervously. "Sam?"
"Mmmm."
"You know if you want... if you're not doing anything... perhaps sometime we could go to a movie together?"
I said yes.
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The End.
Story Notes: Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
Category: S/D, S/J, Angst
Spoilers: Holiday, Secrets
Season/Sequel info: Season Two, after Holiday
Rating: PG13
Content Warnings: Sexual situations
Summary: Daniel decides to live for today
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: 26/5/99
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
copyright Wendy Parkinson May 1999
Category: S/D, S/J, Angst
Spoilers: Holiday, Secrets
Season/Sequel info: Season Two, after Holiday
Rating: PG13
Content Warnings: Sexual situations
Summary: Daniel decides to live for today
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: 26/5/99
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
copyright Wendy Parkinson May 1999
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]