"I said, hello I think I'm broken
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed
I was trying to be clever
For the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead.
You knew all my lines,
You knew all my tricks
You knew how to heal the pain
No medicine could fix
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
Looking back it's still surprising
I was sinking you were rising
With one look you caught me in mid air
No I know God has his reasons
But sometimes it's hard to see them
When I lie awake and find that you're not there
You found hope in hopeless
You made crazy sane
You became the missing link
That helped me break my chains
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
And the good news is I'm better
For the time we spent together
And the bad news is you're gone
The bad news is you're gone. (1)
Everything had been so intense lately. So dangerous, not that their lives ever weren't. But what if. What if he lost her?
"Damn," he cursed. He wasn't one to find a hidden meaning in every song he heard. Hell, he didn't really listen to country music anyway. But it was late, and he couldn't sleep. All he could do was think.
About her. Her smile. Her beautiful eyes. The way she... "STOP IT," he ordered himself.
He rolled over and punched the pillow. Cursing still, he tried to relax.
"Sometimes you wonder how much I care
I get so distracted runnin' nowhere
And I take for granted our love is secure
But if I started losin' you, one thing is sure"
"Oh boy," he sighed. This was not helping. But he couldn't make himself turn the station.
"I'd be down on my knees
Ready to pray, darlin'
Down on my knees
Making you stay
I'd be beggin' you please
Don't take your love from me
I'd be down on my knees
I learned to be strong a long time ago
And I can face any wind no matter how hard it blows
But I'd have to be stronger than I want to be
If I had to live without you loving me
I'd be down on my knees
Ready to pray, darlin'
Down on my knees
Making you stay
I'd be beggin' you please
Don't take your love from me
I'd be down on my knees
No one matters more in my life
Or makes me feel like you make me feel inside
And I've come far enough to know
Love's worth never letting go of
And love is not a matter of pride" (2)
He was crazy. Nuts. Certifiable. But he was up; grabbing clothes and keys and running out the door before the voice in his head started to make sense. The engine roared as he sped down the street. Only one thought in his mind. Focus so intense it was staggering. Her. He needed to see her. To touch her. To hold her, if just for a minute. Consequences be damned.
He flipped on the radio. Wanting to drown out the warnings in his mind. About military protocol, conflicts of interest, and what if she told him to get lost?
What if she wasn't alone?
Music. He needed more music. He fiddled with the station until a song came in clearly.
"Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seem to understand
Now and forever, I will be your man
Sometimes I just hold you, too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune, that heaven has given to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever, I will be your man
Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore
If I'd only known you were there all the time
All this time
Until the ocean doesn't touch the sand
Now and forever, I will be you man
Now and forever,
I will be your man." (3)
Now he was feeling overly emotional. He had to stop listening to the radio. It was that simple. No more music. Ever. He pulled over to the curb in front of her home. He'd left a house, come to a home. That thought kept him in his seat for a few precious seconds. Just long enough for the police officers to jump from their vehicle. Lights and sirens still going, one of them had to tap on the window to get his attention.
"Step out of the car, NOW!"
"No please?" he asked as he opened the door. The officer's response was to yank him from the car to the hood. "Guess not." He was roughly patted down. "Guess I was speeding, gentleman, my ID is in my left pocket." He glanced back to the officer and saw her. All of the breath left his lungs. She stood framed in her doorway. She paused for a brief second then swept towards them. She was dressed in a long satin nightgown in a glimmering shade of blue the exact shade of her eyes. Barefoot, he suddenly registered. He was sweating heavily but he knew the air was cold. She should have on shoes.
"Stay back, ma'am," the officer ordered.
"You know him, ma'am?" the other asked.
"Yes, sir," she nodded. Worry filled her gaze as she took in his mussed hair, sweating brow, cuffed hands. The older of the two officers suddenly began to chuckle and he released his prisoner.
He took two steps. That was all it took to reach her. Then she was in his arms. He drew her form against him, lifting her to her tiptoes. He let loose a shudder and whispered her name. "Sam."
The younger cop snickered, "If this was what was waiting for me, I'd've flown home. Be careful out on the roads, sir." He handed back the wallet. The two men saluted and strode off, still joking and laughing. What a story they'd have to tell at the next roll call.
She tried to draw back, but he wouldn't release her. "It's OK," she whispered, managing to slide to his side. "Come on."
They walked arm in arm back to her door. Along the way she ran a hand across his back, along his ribs, his face, his neck. Checking for injury, fever, anything that might explain his arrival on her doorstep at 0210 hours.
Followed by the police no less. She led him into her living room to the couch. He sank down silently, still gripping her hand. She let him pull her down next to him.
"What's wrong?" she begged.
He couldn't answer. There were no words to express. He collapsed down across the cushions and laid his head on her lap. He looked around the room. The only light came from candles placed strategically around. A book lay face down on the table next to a glass of wine. She'd been awake too, but what if...
"Are you alone?"
"I was," she smiled to him. "Ready to tell me what's wrong?"
He sighed, "I'm sorry to just show up like this, I just... needed..." he swallowed, hard, twice. "I needed to see you."
She smiled. The soft sweet smile he knew as hers alone. The one that made him believe that everything would be fine. The one that said she trusted him implicitly. The one that was sometimes the only thing that got him through from one day to the next. This smile.
He smiled back and cuddled closer. He rolled over to his side and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his face into the soft satin covering her firm abdomen.
She chuckled gently under her breath. She caressed his hair soothingly. Whatever demons had sent him running tonight, she was inconceivably pleased that they'd driven him to her. Pure feminine pride. She started rubbing his back as the forgotten CD player switched CD's. Music, soft and comforting filled the air. Filling the silence as perfectly as the candles scented the air.
"The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine
I lie awake at night wishing you were mine
I'm standing here holding, the biggest heartache in town,
Whenever you come around
I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh, I try to speak but the words won't come
I'm so scared to death
And when you smile that smile the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around
I feel so helpless, I feel just like a kid
What is it about you, that makes me keep my feelings hid?
I wish I could tell you, but the words can't be found
Whenever you come around
I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath
Oh, I try to speak but the words won't come
I'm so scared to death
And when you smile that smile the world turns upside down
Whenever you come around
And when you smile that smile
The whole world turns upside down
Whenever you come around
Whenever you come around" (4)
What if this was the most important decision he'd ever made? What if she was the one? His soul mate? What if she, by some far remote, far extreme possibility, what if she loved him too?
What if... What if...
He awoke a short while later. He was warm and comfortable. He lifted his head from its soft pillow. She had dozed off, one hand resting on his side; the other slid from his head as he moved. Her head had tilted to the side, awkwardly.
Decisive, he rose from the couch. More gently then most would have believed possible; he lifted her into his arms to stride back to her bedroom. One handed he pulled down the blankets to expose cotton sheets, worn smooth. He laid her down, moving back slowly, reluctantly. He wished he'd held her longer. One more minute. One more infinity.
She opened her eyes. "Don't go."
He nodded then returned to the living room. He locked the door securely, then went around blowing out the candles. He started for the CD player, then changed his mind. Music had sent him here tonight. It seemed fitting that it would continue.
He stripped down to his boxer shorts and T-shirt before climbing into the bed next to her. He lay down, flat on his back and sighed. She echoed the sigh with one of her own and rolled to rest her head against his chest.
"Are you sure you're fine?"
"I am now," he replied cradling her against him. He twined his fingers with hers where they rested on his abdomen.
"Sleep," she ordered.
"Yes, ma'am," he replied dropping a kiss onto her hair. She dozed off before he did. His hand constantly caressing. Moving from her short hair down her back, stopping just short of where her gown dipped to her lower spine.
Comforting her as her presence soothed him. "Of course, I could've lived the rest of my life not knowing you slept in stuff like this."
From the living room, music drifted softly.
"I believe in miracles.
I believe in signs.
And I believe that mountains move,
One prayer at a time.
If I could be an angel,
I'd make your every dream come true.
But I am only human,
Just a woman, lovin' you.
Where your road leads I will follow.
When your heart bleeds,
I'll be there for you.
When your night grows dark,
And you can't find your tomorrow,
Then you can follow me.
Someday we'll look back and see
Our footprints in the sand.
Sometimes you would carry me
And sometimes you'd be in my hands.
If we can love forever,
That won't be long enough for me.
I wanna hold you tender,
Be your shelter,
All you need.
Where your road leads I will follow.
When your heart bleeds,
I'll be there for you.
When your night grows dark,
And you can't find your tomorrow,
Then you can follow me.
Oh, we can be each other's guiding light,
Through this long and winding life.
Where your road leads I will follow.
When your heart bleeds,
I'll be there for you.
When your night grows dark,
And you can't find your tomorrow,
When you've lost sight of you dreams,
Then you can follow me."(5)
"How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh and I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
Without you there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh how do I live
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby 'cause you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I
Oh how do I live
How do I live without you
Without you baby" (6)
The end.
Ok so I know who I was picturing here, but I leave it up to your vivid imagination as to who the couple is.
Songs used were as follows:
(1) "You're gone" by Jon Vezner and Paul Williams, produced by Michael D. Clute and Diamond Rio; from Diamond Rio's 1998 album Unbelievable
(2) "Down on My Knees" by Beth Nielsen Chapman, produced by Garth Fundis; from Trisha Yearwood's 1990 album Hearts in Armor
(3) "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx, produced by R. Marx; from R. Marx's 1993 album Paid Vacation
(4) "Whenever You Come Around" by Vince Gill and Pete Warner, produced by Tony Brown; from V.Gill's 1994 album When Love Finds You
(5) "Where Your Road Leads" by Victoria Shaw and Desmond Childs, produced by Allen Reynolds and Trisha Yearwood; from Trisha Yearwood's 1998 album Where Your Road Leads
(6) "How Do I Live?" by Dianne Warren, produced by Tony Brown and Trisha Yearwood; from T.Yearwood's album Songbook: a Collection of Hits and the Con Air Motion Picture Soundtrack
All songs used without permission. No infringement on copyright intended.
Story Notes: First off I want to thank everyone for the response I got for "Of Sons and Daughters". I am working on chapter 2 now, this is just a little snack to hold you over. This is the result of not enough sleep and way too much caffeine for one person to have consumed in a morning. Originally written in about twenty minutes on a break.
Stargate SG1 and its characters are the property of Stargate Productions, ShowTime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No infringement.
No spoilers. No real clue as to what's going on. Just use your imagination.
Any archiving will probably be Oked, just ask me first.
Jen Sweeney LtSChase@aol.com
Stargate SG1 and its characters are the property of Stargate Productions, ShowTime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No infringement.
No spoilers. No real clue as to what's going on. Just use your imagination.
Any archiving will probably be Oked, just ask me first.
Jen Sweeney LtSChase@aol.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]