Jack O'Neill lay on his sofa, his left leg hooked over the back of the couch. With the remote control to the television safely tucked beneath his chin so that no one could take it away from him, he felt secure enough to watch the hockey game with his hands propped behind his head. Not one fight had broken out between the combatants and he was growing sleepy.
Eyes half closed, Jack watched the game until they took a break for a commercial. Thinking he'd only rest his eyes for a moment, he drifted off into a deep sleep evidenced by the clunk of the remote control as it slipped, unnoticed, to the floor.
~*~
Pulling her car into the driveway, Sam parked in front of the garage and behind Jack's Jeep. Pocketing her keys, Sam climbed out of the car. She had expected Teal'c and Daniel to get here before she did and wasn't sure whether she should go on up to the house, or wait for them. A chilling breeze made the decision for her as it wafted up the mountain to tug at her thin jacket.
As she walked up the steps leading to Jack's front door, Sam stopped a moment to turn and gaze at the view the high porch allowed. Mountains surrounded the house, but weren't so close that they interfered with the beautiful evening sky. Stars twinkled in the black velvet sky and looked so close that Sam just knew that she could have reached out and touched one. With a grin, she turned and took the remaining steps two at a time. Stargazing was all right in the summertime, but when the air was this cool, she'd rather be inside beside a roaring fire.
Tapping twice on the door brought no response from within and Sam had a brief moment of doubt in that she'd come on the wrong night. Then, she realized that it was indeed Friday night and that Jack had invited them all over for pizza and hockey.
Knocking a bit harder, Sam bent down to peer through the slats of the blinds covering the window of the door. She could just barely make out the television screen and from the darkness in the room, figured that Jack was lying on the sofa in front of the television. A slight movement on the arm of the sofa confirmed this and Sam focused on the white socked foot there.
"Whatcha doin'?" The voice came very near her ear and Sam almost jumped out of her skin.
"Daniel!" She snapped, bringing a balled up fist close to his nose. "If you ever do that again I'll flatten it for you."
"Well, excuse me. It just looked like you were snooping and I just wanted to know what was going on," Daniel pouted. He turned to Teal'c and grinned, but he made sure that Sam couldn't see him. "Didn't it look like she was snooping, Teal'c?" He asked the stoic Jaffa.
Teal'c merely gave Daniel a puzzled look, then stepped over to join Sam at the door.
"Is Colonel O'Neill at home?" Teal'c asked quietly.
"Yeah, I think he's asleep on the sofa because I knocked a couple of times and he hasn't come to the door." Sam raised her hand to knock again when Teal'c surprised her by cupping her small fist in his large hand.
"Perhaps it would be best for us to leave the colonel to his rest," he suggested in a quiet voice.
Matching her voice to his, Sam whispered, "But, he asked us over."
Teal'c, just realizing that he still held Sam's hand in his, gently released her, then nodded his head to her remark. "He did, indeed. However, the colonel has been through much in these past few weeks and I think that he must need rest much more than our companionship."
"Sure," Daniel agreed as he took Sam's hand in his own. "Let's go to the pizzeria and grab a pie. We'll tell Jack all about it in the morning." Tugging on Sam's hand, Daniel led them quietly back down the steps and to his own car. "I'll drop you by on the way back to the base and you can pick up your car, okay?" He asked Sam. Without giving her a chance to reply, Daniel stuffed Sam into the passenger seat of his Ford Taurus and gestured for Teal'c to take the rear seat. Practically running around the front of the car Daniel jumped in and, at the last moment remembered that they were trying to be quiet, he shut the door softly.
"Hey, Teal'c," Daniel called back to his friend. "Do you like anchovies?"
"What are... anchovies?" Teal'c asked inquisitively and Sam chuckled. This was going to be one fun ride.
~*~
Jack awoke to a fuzzy television screen that hissed at him. For a brief moment he suffered from scanner panic when he couldn't immediately locate the remote. Finally he found it beneath the coffee table and breathed a sigh of relief. Picking the remote up off the floor, he clicked the off-button before remembering that he hadn't turned any lights on and the room was plunged into darkness. Leaning across the arm of the sofa he reached for the lamp switch and turned it on.
Glancing at the clock on the wall Jack was astounded to see that it was 02:30. Suddenly, he remembered that he had invited Teal'c, Daniel and Sam over for pizza and he smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead.
"I must be getting old," he muttered to himself. Reaching for the telephone on the table beside the sofa he stopped his hand in midair. "Just what did you think you were going to do, Jack?" He asked himself out loud, then shook his head. "Really old."
Standing to his feet he walked over to the door and locked it. He had left it unlocked for his friends, but apparently they had found something better to do. Shaking that negative thought out of his groggy head, he checked the perimeter of the house to make sure everything was closed up, then turned out the light and made his way up to his bedroom. Stripping off his jeans and t-shirt, he climbed beneath the comforter and was soon fast asleep again.
~*~
"Daniel Jackson, I do not think that you and Captain Carter should do this," Teal'c warned his companions from the driver's side of the Taurus. "Colonel O'Neill does not appear to be the type of person who would find humor in your endeavors." Teal'c's word fell upon deaf, and very drunk ears.
Sam was giggling so hard that she had to stop several times in order to collect herself. Daniel, in the meantime, was shushing her so loudly that it set her off into another fit of the giggles.
"Toss it here!" Sam whispered loudly to Daniel. A roll of toilet paper smacked her right in the chest, bringing the giggles to a whole other level. She sobered for a brief moment and gave Daniel a threatening look. "If you wake him up before we're done, he'll probably shoot us." Then she burst into laughter, dropping her ammunition onto the frost-wet ground.
"Don't get it wet!" Daniel shrieked as lowly as his befuddled mind would allow. Teal'c cringed and looked up toward the house, expecting a light to come on in the window any minute now.
"Daniel Jackson, do you not think that you have done enough... damage?" Teal'c asked, at a loss as to what his companion's were attempting to accomplish by throwing rolls of toilet paper at a large tree in Colonel O'Neill's yard.
Daniel shot Teal'c a glare. "No. And if you would help, it would be done a lot quicker." Daniel tripped over a tree root and fell to his knees. His roll of paper shot across the yard and rolled beneath Sam's car. "Now look what you done and gone," he muttered, then realized that his words were mixed up and began to giggle. Shaking his head he attempted to stand up, but ended up tripping over the same root again and falling to his knees once more. "Teal'c, I could sure use some help here," he pleaded, holding out a hand toward his sober companion.
"Hey, Danny-boy," Sam said in a lilting voice. "I'll help ya." She stalked over to Daniel's side, leaned over and wrapped her arms around his waist. She tried to pull him to his feet, but only ended up sprawled across his back. "I think you're too heavy," she whispered into his ear.
"Ya think?" Daniel answered in an exact mimic of Colonel O'Neill, which set Sam off into a fresh round of giggles, making it very difficult for her to get off of Daniel's back. The added weight of Sam's boneless body atop his made Daniel's arms buckle and he crumpled, face-first, to the ground. "Ouch, Sam!" He cried out, his legs and arms all tangled up with Sam's. "Get off me!"
Teal'c had moved to assist his inebriated friends when a light from a window in the house caught his attention. Standing as still as a statue Teal'c gazed up at the window and saw Jack's silhouette there, then he was gone.
"Oh, for crying out loud," Teal'c muttered, shocking himself by uttering Colonel O'Neill's favorite phrase. Hurrying over to Daniel and Sam, he grabbed each one by the back of the collar and hauled them to their feet. Sam was so lost in her giggles that she turned and wrapped her arms around Teal'c waist and burrowed her face in his chest, her giggles sounding more like sobs.
"Teal'c, what in the Sam Hill is going on here?" Jack demanded as soon as he was close enough to see that Teal'c was holding Daniel by the scruff of his neck and Sam appeared to be sobbing into the large man's chest. Concern filled him as he stepped closer to the Jaffa.
"Is she okay?"
"Captain Carter is fine. Who is Sam Hill," Teal'c reported, looking down at the small blond woman attempting to squeeze the Goa'uld larvae out of him, then back up at Jack. "It would appear that she is..." Teal'c didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Jack interrupted him with a very obscene expletive.
Jack stood looking up at his tree that had been decorated with every color available in the toilet paper rainbow. Though it was dark, the light from his bedroom window illuminated just enough of the mess to allow Jack to see that the moisture-leaden frost had already set most of the paper. He turned accusing eyes toward Teal'c. "Why?" He asked simply.
"It was not of my doing, Colonel O'Neill." Teal'c merely stated. He was not going to turn on his friends, but he also was not going to take the brunt of the colonel's anger, and he could see that anger burning in Colonel O'Neill's eyes.
"Daniel?" Jack turned on the archeologist. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
Daniel took one look at the anger in Jack's eyes and, shrugging out of Teal'c's grasp, staggered over to the Taurus and climbed into the back seat and lay down. "I'm ready to go now, Teal'c," Daniel sleepily called to the Jaffa.
"Sam?" Jack tried to control the anger in his voice, but wasn't very successful.
Sam looked up from her warm spot in Teal'c chest, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks and opened her mouth to speak. A huge yawn and a hiccup escaped before any words could and she crumpled to the ground in gales of laughter.
Thinking that she'd suddenly lost her senses, Jack knelt on the ground beside Sam, reaching out to grab her by the shoulders.
"All right, let's get them inside, Teal'c," Jack ordered as he scooped Sam up into his arms. The thick odor of beer settled over him as Sam nuzzled her cold nose into his neck. "Teal'c, how much did she drink?" He asked the Jaffa who was carrying Daniel across his shoulder.
"I am unsure. I stopped counting at 12," Teal'c offered as he followed the colonel up the steps and into the house. Gently placing Daniel on the sofa, Teal'c looked down at his friend in something resembling pity. "Daniel Jackson only had 3," Teal'c supplied quietly.
"That's my boy," Jack said with a sad shake of his head.
"Teal'c, there's a blanket in that chest over there," Jack gestured toward a cedar chest beneath the window on the far side of the room. "Cover Daniel with it and I'll show you to the guest room." Jack still held Sam in his arms and didn't appear to notice that she was there.
Finding a blanket and covering Daniel with it, Teal'c followed Jack up the stairs and into the room his friend pointed him to. He turned in the doorway and faced Jack.
"It is really unnecessary for me to stay here," Teal'c began, only to be interrupted by Jack.
"Teal'c do you know what time it is?"
At Teal'c's uncertain look, Jack grinned. "It's 04:30," Jack supplied. Teal'c merely nodded his head and turned to enter the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Walking Sam into his bedroom, Jack gently placed her on the unmade bed. Sam immediately burrowed into the warmth of the covers and Jack had to grab her sneakered feet in order to keep them out of the bed. Untying the shoes he dropped them to the floor, then slipped her cold feet under the covers.
Sam tucked one chilled hand beneath the pillow, the other she slipped between her knees as she settled in to sleep.
Shaking his head at her having taken over his comfortable bed so quickly, Jack switched off the overhead light. Retrieving a couple of blankets from the hall closet, Jack carried them downstairs and settled down on the floor in front of the fireplace. Crossing his arms behind his head, Jack wondered how he was so lucky to have garnered such friends. Then he grinned. He would have the last laugh in the morning.
~*~
Jack slipped out of his hard, makeshift bed and moved quietly into the kitchen. Soon the mouthwatering odor of fresh brewed coffee, bacon and eggs wafted out of the kitchen and into the living room. Daniel was the first one to awaken to the smell.
Hearing someone stirring in the living room, Jack walked over to the opening at the breakfast counter, leaned his elbows on the counter and waited for Daniel to sit up. When his friend did, Jack greeted him.
"Good morning campers!" He called out loudly to his hung-over friend. "Got some coffee, eggs and bacon in here," Jack offered as he took a deep slurp of his coffee.
Daniel sat on the edge of the sofa, the blanket tangled around his legs, holding his head in his hands. "Jack, do you mind?" Daniel growled, then groaned in pain.
"Nah, not at all," Jack said with a flourish. Filling a plate with the eggs and bacon, Jack quietly brought it into the living room and placed it directly beneath Daniel's unsuspecting nose. "Want something to eat?" He asked with an evil grin.
Daniel looked up at Jack, took one sniff of the eggs and his face turned green. With an angry glare at Jack, Daniel flew up the stairs and into the guest bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.
"Hmm, he's never reacted that way to my cooking before," Jack muttered as he took a healthy bite of the eggs. "Tastes good to me." Jack set his coffee cup down on the coffee table. "I wonder if Sam's awake?" He pondered to himself with a grin. "Can't hurt to ask." Holding the plate aloft as if he was a waiter, Jack took the stairs two at a time and walked into his bedroom where Sam was just stirring.
"Hi, Sam!" Jack practically yelled as he came through the door. "I thought you'd enjoy breakfast in bed." Sitting on the edge of the bed, Jack placed the plate on Sam's chest, just beneath her nose. "Daniel didn't particularly care for my cooking. Smells good, doesn't it?"
With extreme care Sam picked up the plate and held it as far away from her nose as her arm would allow. Moving slowly, deliberately, Sam sat up in the bed, leaning her back against the headboard. She gave Jack a defiant glance, then picked up the fork and began eating the eggs.
Jack had to give her credit when she swallowed a gag after the first forkful, but after that she polished off the entire plate and handed it back to him without having said a word.
"Thank you," she said with only the slightest tinge of green around her lips.
"You're welcome." Taking the empty plate from her he had to grin. "Air Force Academy?" At her slight nod, Jack had to chuckle. "I'm impressed, Captain." He quickly lost his grin when the sun reflected off a bit of white paper fluttering from the tree outside his window. "But, not impressed enough that I'm going to let you and Daniel off cleanup duty," Jack warned just before he walked from the room.
~*~
Teal'c stood in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand as he gazed out the window at the morning scene before him. He heard Jack as he approached the kitchen and turned to face him when he walked through the swinging doors.
"Help yourself to breakfast," Jack gestured toward the food on the stove. "It would appear that Daniel isn't in the mood for any and Sam has eaten her share." Jack refilled his coffee cup and sat down at the bar stool at the counter. "So, where did you guys go last night?"
Teal'c filled Jack in on Sam and Daniel's exploits and their sudden desire to TP the colonel's yard. Having admitted to the pair that he didn't know what they were referring to, Teal'c was soon to learn what they had intended.
"It's a good thing we're on stand down," Jack murmured as he took a sip of coffee. At Teal'c's uncomprehending expression Jack waved a hand toward the upstairs. "Sam and Daniel made a mess and they're going to clean it up."
Teal'c simply nodded his head and started walking toward the door leading into the living room.
"Hey, where are you going?" Jack called after his friend.
"To begin the clean up," Teal'c answered without turning to face Jack. Opening the front door, Teal'c slipped out before Jack could utter a word.
"Okay, campers!" Jack shouted as he hurried up the stairs. "It's time to tidy up the campground." Banging on the bathroom door where Daniel had sequestered himself, Jack waited there until he heard Daniel grumble a reply of sorts. Then, moving into his bedroom, Jack looked for Sam.
She was no longer in the bed, nor was she under it, for Jack checked. Standing in the middle of the bedroom Jack closed his eyes and listened closely. From the direction of his bathroom came the lilting voice of an angel. Walking toward the sound as if mesmerized, Jack was stopped by the closed and locked bathroom door.
"Sam?" Jack called softly, afraid to speak any louder lest the heavenly voice stop. To his utter dismay the voice only grew louder as it came closer to the door.
The door opened and Sam stood, swaying only slightly, in the doorway, a towel wrapped around her head and a larger one wrapped toga-like around her body.
"Good morning, Sir," she greeted Jack as she squeezed past him and walked into the bedroom. "Mind if I borrow some sweats?" She asked as she picked up a pair of Jack's favorite AFA sweat pants.
"Nah, help yourself," Jack shrugged. "Teal'c is out cleaning the yard," he informed Sam as he left the room, closing the door behind him to give her privacy.
Just as he'd known she would do, Sam was dressed and down the stairs within minutes. Hurrying out the door, she quickly joined Teal'c in cleaning up the mess she and Daniel had made. Several times she had tried to talk Teal'c into going back inside, for the temperature had dropped drastically and the wind was blowing hard.
By the time Daniel joined Sam under the tree, she was two-thirds finished with the worst of the wet toilet paper. With freezing hands Sam stuffed the handful of paper she held into the garbage bag that Daniel held open.
"This was a stupid, sophomoric trick," Sam grumbled as she held her head and leaned over to pick up a small piece of paper to toss into the bag. "Whatever made me do it?"
"I did," Daniel confessed as he reached up to grab at a piece of paper fluttering just out of his reach.
"What?"
"You said you wanted to do something to shake Jack O'Neill up and I suggested rolling his yard." Daniel finally grabbed the elusive paper and stuffed it into the bag in anger.
"Well, I think he's shaken up, all right," Sam said shooting a quick glance toward the house. "I'm not going to leave even one little piece of paper for him to have to clean up."
Daniel took an unsteady step back, clenched his eyes shut for a moment, then opened them to look up at the top of the twenty foot tree. "Um, Sam. How do you propose to get that?" He asked, pointing at the paper streaming from the very top of the tree.
Shading her eyes from the sun that was just shining directly over the tree, Sam looked where Daniel had directed and gulped. "I'll climb the tree," she said with a simple shrug. Putting action to her words she marched up to the trunk of the tree and jumped up to grab the first limb. Like a monkey she was up the tree and amongst the branches before Teal'c, or Daniel could stop her.
"Captain Carter," Teal'c warned quietly. "It is not a good idea for you to do this. I do not believe that this tree is as sturdy as you may think." His words went unheeded as she continued to climb.
It must have been fate for there was no other explanation for Jack to have stepped out onto his deck at the exact moment that the thick limb Sam was standing on cracked and plummeted toward the ground. Jack, unaware that Sam had been standing on the limb, didn't react at first. Then, Daniel screamed for him to call 911.
As if in slow motion, Sam fell, snagging arms and legs on branches in her unceremonious descent to the ground. Teal'c was quicker on his feet, faster than Daniel who merely stood, mouth agape, and watched as Sam plunged toward them. Standing beneath the tree, Teal'c attempted to gauge where Sam would fall as her course was altered several times by hitting limbs.
Finally she cleared the last limbs and sprawled into Teal'c's strong and welcoming arms. Gasping for breath and stinging from several cuts and lacerations, Sam gamely smiled up at Teal'c before she passed out from lack of oxygen.
~*~
Jack raced through the living room, grabbing up the remote phone as he passed through. Dialing the emergency number as he tore down the steps, he was standing beneath the tree before the operator could answer the call.
"911, please state your emergency," the calm voice requested.
Jack couldn't speak. Sam lay on her back, blood flowing freely from several cuts and she looked as pale as a ghost. He hadn't seen Teal'c catch her, or lay her on the ground after doing so. As far as Jack knew, Sam had fallen from the tree and had hit the ground.
"Hello! Could the caller please answer," the dispatcher called loudly in Jack's ear.
Teal'c heard the woman from his position beside Sam and hurried over to remove the phone from Jack's trembling hand.
"We have had an emergency," Teal'c explained calmly. "Our friend, Captain Samantha Carter has fallen from a tree. She is unconscious at the moment."
"Can you assess the injuries?" The dispatcher requested.
"She has multiple lacerations and abrasions, but I do not believe any of them are life threatening."
"Did the victim fall to the ground?" The dispatcher asked.
"No. However, she did hit several limbs as she fell." Teal'c watched Jack as he knelt beside Sam and began to gently pat her cheeks.
"Don't move her," the woman warned.
"I would not," Teal'c assured her. "However, the temperature is growing quite cold. Would it be permissible to cover Captain Carter with a blanket?"
Sam drew a deep breath and opened her eyes. Looking up into Jack's worried brown eyes was the last thing she wanted to do. Angry at herself for having climbed the tree in the first place, Sam slowly sat up with Jack's assistance. She looked over at Teal'c and frowned.
"Who is he talking to?" She inquired curiously.
"911," Jack stated simply, then looked startled when Sam glared at him as she staggered to her feet.
"I do not need an ambulance," she snapped, then remembered to whom she was snapping and mumbled a quick apology to Jack. "Daniel, take me home," she murmured as she headed for his car.
Teal'c informed the dispatcher that her services were apparently no longer required and clicked the phone off. Handing the telephone to Jack, he hurried after Sam and Daniel.
"Hey, where's everyone going?" Jack called after them. "I've got a first aid kit in the house." He watched his friends as they piled into Daniel's car and pulled out of the driveway, headed back to the base.
Looking up at the last bit of paper fluttering in the chill wind, Jack shook his head and, with a shiver, hurried back to the house to clean up and follow the others back to the base.
~*~
After having been thoroughly checked over and declared ready for duty the next day by Dr. Frasier, Sam, Teal'c and Daniel were standing in the gateroom talking quietly among themselves. They were waiting for Colonel O'Neill to return. He had mumbled something about speaking to General Hammond before leaving for P2R137.
"All right, Campers," Jack called loudly from the entrance to the gateroom. All eyes turned his way. Jack strode up to his team and opened a pack he was carrying. Dipping his hand inside he pulled out a large, double roll of toilet paper and tossed one each to Daniel, Teal'c and Sam. With a wide grin he handed the empty pack to one of the airmen standing beside the ramp, then turned back to his astonished team.
"Well? We mustn't forget the important stuff." With that Jack strode up the ramp and through the quivering liquid of the Stargate.
"He's never going to let us live this down, you know?" Daniel muttered to Sam and Teal'c and they walked slowly up the ramp to follow their leader.
"Never," Sam agreed with a slight smile just before they stepped into through the stargate.
"Oh, for crying out loud." Teal'c was reported as saying as his body disappeared through the gate.
THE END
Story Notes: The plots, characters and symbols of Stargate SG-1 are the exclusive property of MGM/UA Productions, Showtime Entertainment and Gekko. This story is merely the musings of the author and is not intended as an infringement on the copy written materials expressed above. The following fiction is a figment of the author's imagination and is meant only for entertainment purposes and is not to be copied, or published in any form without the express written consent of the author. Comments welcomed at: bosco4@gte.net
Archive: Sam and Jack R.A. & Heliopolis, all others please ask.
Rated: PG
Author's forward: This story started out days ago and started out to have a very dramatic ending, but I didn't want to spoil the mood, so I rewrote it and this is what you end up with. I hope you all like it and know that no animals were injured in the writing of this story. (A couple family member's heads, maybe, but never any animals.)
Archive: Sam and Jack R.A. & Heliopolis, all others please ask.
Rated: PG
Author's forward: This story started out days ago and started out to have a very dramatic ending, but I didn't want to spoil the mood, so I rewrote it and this is what you end up with. I hope you all like it and know that no animals were injured in the writing of this story. (A couple family member's heads, maybe, but never any animals.)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]