samandjack.net

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SPOILERS; LITTLE ONES FOR A FEW FIRST SEASON EPISODES

DISCLAIMER; THE USUAL

RATING; PG

ARCHIVE; SAM AND JACK, HELIOPOLIS, PLEASE


I suppose I should have known better than to left him alone. Teal'c had expressed a desire to see a baseball game, and Daniel and I offered to take him and Cassie. Jack would have gone with us, but he had a pile of paperwork 'the size of Mount Rushmore and twice as ugly' as he put it, to deal with, so he stayed behind. He waved us goodbye, looking a little wistful. I felt sorry for him, and almost ran back to get him, but decided not to. I really wish I had.

We came back five hours later, exhausted but happy. Teal'c had bought two of those giant foam fingers, one for him and one for Cassie and they were duelling with them. Teal'c always seems to get on better with kids then grown-ups. Maybe he feels more relaxed. Anyway, Danny and I were laughing at them on the way down to Jack's office, expecting Jack to be in a foul mood after five hours of paperwork. Still, I was sure we could cheer him up.

I opened the door, saying, "Colonel, we brought you back a... oh."

"What's wrong?" Daniel asked.

"He's not here." I don't know why I was so stunned by that. There was no reason that Jack should have been in his office. Still, I began to feel a little worried.

"Then he's probably somewhere else." Daniel said. "C'mon Sam. We'll drop Cassie off at Janet's then we'll find him."

But when we got to the infirmary, General Hammond was there with Janet, and they both looked very worried.

"What's wrong?" Daniel asked, perhaps knowing I was suddenly afraid to ask. "Where's Jack?"

Janet took Cassie into the other room, then came back. Now I knew it was serious.

"I have some bad news SG1." General Hammond said. Oh no. I felt a coldness rush through me. Jack?

"SG5 was due to go on a mission four hours ago." Hammond continued. "The leader of their team fell as he got here, and hurt his leg, and the mission was going to be called off."

"But Colonel O'Neill offered to take his place." Teal'c said. Hammond nodded.

"Typical Jack. Any excuse to get out of paperwork." Daniel whispered. I said nothing. I merely looked at the bleak expression on Janet's face.

"That was three and a half hours ago." she said. "They're two hours late. We've heard nothing. The MALP had difficulty seeing anything."

Nothing. Silence.

"We will go through the gate." Teal'c started to say, but Hammond interrupted.

"Negative, people. No-one is going through that gate till we know more."

"But Sir!" Danny said.

"No! I will NOT lose any more good people. We'll wait 12 hours. If there's no news by then, I'll send you in. Till then, you'll just have to wait."



xxxxx



Wait. That was all I could do. I waited in the gateroom, sitting in front of the Stargate, waiting, hoping, begging for it to open. It didn't. After an hout, Janet joined me.

"You don't have to wait too." I said.

She laughed humourlessly. "That's pretty much 70% of my job - waiting."

I turned to look at her, questioning. I was glad of her company, glad of the conversation. It took my mind off him.

"I wait every time you all go through that gate." she explained. "I wait for you all to come back and see how you've managed to injure yourself this time, praying it's something I can fix. I wait for one of you to collapse from another strange disease. I wait by your bedsides until you wake up. I wait with you while you worry and grieve." Her voice dropped. "I wouldn't leave you to wait alone. I know how much you care for him."

I said nothing. What could I say? Could I tell her how every time he smiled at me, his rare genuine smile, a flashfire went through my soul? How when he looked at me with so much affection in his eyes, I melted? How I was his, forever? Now I thought of him. I couldn't stop it. Words, images flowed through my head.

'It's definitely you... I adore you already... It's against regulations... Sara... I think it's the first one... We'll get him back... Wake up Sam... It was an honour serving with you... Wake up Sam... I adore you already... Wake up Sam!'

I jerked awake. I'd fallen asleep and not realised it. I'd been dreaming, and the voice I heard calling to me to wake up was Daniel's. He and Teal'c had joined Janet.

"We have come to keep vigil with you." Teal'c said.

"That's not necessary." I mumbled.

"Nevertheless, we are here."

"And we're staying." said Daniel. "Don't argue."

I didn't. I just smiled gratefully at my friends.



xxxxx



10 hours after Jack and SG5 had disappeared through the gate, it opened again. The gate flashed, and three men stumbled through. Three... not four. Jack. Where's Jack?

He wasn't there. I wished... it seems stupid, but I wished I could have done what my great-grandmother would have done, and fainted. That painless dark oblivion would have been heaven compared to the pain I was feeling now.

"Report, SG5!" Hammond barked as he strode in.

"There's not much to report." the major whose name I couldn't remember stammered. "We... we just passed out soon after we arrived. When we woke up, Colonel O'Neill was gone."

Gone. Damnit! I turned to Hammond. "Sir, permission to..."

"Granted! Get ready SG1, you go through the gate in 30 minutes."

At last.



xxxxx



My first command. I would have given anything for it not to have happened this way. We went through the gate. It was a surprise, the other side. The other planets we had visited had bore some resemblance to Earth. Not this one. The sky and ground were black - not just one black, but a million different shades of black and gray. I couldn't see where the sky met the ground. The wind howled and shrieked across the ground, constantly stirring the shale. The light wasn't constant, it pulsed across the landscape from no discernible source. It was a very unsettling place.

Daniel pointed across to an outcropping of rock that could have been a natural formation or a manmade (alienmade?) structure.

"That was where SG5 passed out." he said.

"Then we'll avoid it. Teal'c, could you track anybody across this ground?"

He knelt to look at it, then stood up. "The ground is hard, and the wind constantly stirs the loose rocks. I cannot track Colonel O'Neill."

Damn. I looked across the landscape. It was flat, nothing any where. I couldn't see one place they could have taken Jack. I felt panic begin to rise, but I pushed it down again. I was in command, I had to remain calm. I HAD to think of a way to find him. Failure was unbearable.

"I don't know where to go." I murmured, unaware I'd spoken aloud.

"Captain Carter." Teal'c said softly. I turned to him.

"On Chulack we have a legend."

In my head I could Jack snorting 'fairy tales!', but I listened patiently. Teal'c rarely said anything that was pointless.

"It is about a native bird." he continued. "It is our equivalent of your swan. These swans mate for life. It is said that if one were taken, the other will track them down. It will feel every hurt, every pain of the other. No matter where you take the one, the other will follow, through storm and fire. It will always know where its mate is. I have observed that you and Colonel O'Neill have a similar bond. Perhaps if you meditate, you will feel where they have taken Colonel O'Neill, as a swan does with its mate."

I ought to have blustered. I ought to have denied it, said he wasn't my mate in an indignant voice, muttered something about regulations, and Sara. I didn't. Now was not a time for denial. Now was a time for accepting the truth, and using it.

"Sam," Daniel said gently, "Jollinar left you with some... unusual... powers. Use them."

I looked at Teal'c. "What do I do?" I whispered.

"Close your eyes. Concentrate on Colonel O'Neill. Reach out to him with your mind. Try to touch his mind. Try to see through his eyes."

I did as he asked. I closed my eyes, and thought of Jack. I thought of the man so few others knew as I did, of his gentleness, his loyalty, his courage and even his fears. I reached out, thinking, 'Jack. Where are you? Call me, Jack. I'll hear you. Call me, so I can find you. I'm here waiting. Call me, Jack.'

'Sam?'

My eyes snapped open. "This way." I said, and I strode off confidentally.



xxxxx



If I hadn't known where we were going, we would never have found it. The ground dipped sharply behind a ridge, and a path led into a large cave. The cave was black, but lit by thousand of dancing lights that seemed to have no discernible power source. It was beautiful. If I hadn't been so worried, I'd have been fascinated.

I became aware of whispering voices, thousands of them. I couldn't see who or what they came from. They didn't talk all at once, but echoed each other. Some of the voices grew a little stronger, and said, "Who... who... are... who are you?"

Daniel, ever the diplomat, stepped forward. "I'm Daniel, that is Teal'c and this is Sam. We're looking for our friend."

"Friend. Friend... friend?"

My turn. "A man, like us. Have you seen him?"

"We... we... have... have him."

Have him! I'd found him! "Can we see him?"

"No... no... no... he... broke... broke our law."

I looked at Daniel. "What law?" he asked.

"Not... not... important. Sentenced... sentence... is death."

"No!" I shouted. I couldn't have come this far just to lose him again!

"Colonel O'Neill is an outsider." Teal'c said. "He did not know your laws. Can you not grant him clemency?"

Silence. And then...

"There... there... must be a death... death to atone. It... it need... not... not be... his... his."

"You wish one of us to die in his place?" Teal'c asked. I looked at him. Teal'c, who was always ready to lay down his life for us. Daniel, not a fighter, but a man with a noble spirit who would die for a stranger, let alone his best friend. I knew they would both offer themselves. I also knew that it had to be me.

"I offer myself." I said.

"Sam, no!"

"Captain Carter..."

"Sssh, little ones." the voices said. "The... the woman... the woman offers herself. Why... why?"

Why? Because my life is nothing without him. I stay in the Stargate program because I love my job, I love to travel and explore. But underlying this, there's him. The man who's occupied my mind since I read about his first mission to Abydos. He's there in my thoughts, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.

"Because I must." I say.

"Painful... painful."

"I'm not afraid."

"Alone... alone."

"I don't care."

"He... he... will... never... never... know you... you died... for him... for him."

"It doesn't matter, as long as he lives." As I say the words, I know they are true. Nothing matters as long as he lives, even my own death. It all falls silent. I watch the lights dancing. The only sound is the three of us breathing. I wonder if they'll let me see him before I die? I hope so. I'm oddly calm, as if all that is happening is meant to be happening. Then, the voices return. They are no longer whispering, but are strong. They no longer echo each other, but speak in unison.

"He broke no laws. It was a test, to discover his true nature. You were prepared to die a slow, painful, lonely death for this man. A man who could inspire such love and loyalty, deserves our understanding and compassion. He is yours. You are all free to go."

I look towards the back of the cave. I see a figure in the darkness. He stumbles forward, and I see it's Jack, alive and relatively unharmed. My eyes fill with tears as he says, "Captain, what the hell is going on?"



**********************************************************************



"Thanks Janet." he said to me as I bandaged his arm. I'm glad he's back. I like him. He's one of the few soldiers on this base who treats me with respect and friendship, not just as a token woman.

"You're welcome." I said. "I was expecting much worse. You're lucky to have a friend like Captain Carter."

"Don't I know it. I just wished I knew exactly what happened. I was out cold most of the time. Daniel tried to tell me, but Sam stopped him."

I looked at him. I can't get the image out of my head of her sitting alone and scared at the bottom of the Stargate, waiting for him. I've seen the affection - no, LOVE, in his eyes when he looks at her.

I decided to take a risk. I thought it was medically justified. "She was going to die for you." I said. He didn't say anything, just sat there in stunned silence.

"I don't know exactly what happened on the planet," I continued, "but I do know she offered her life in return for yours."

"Me?" he said, in disbelief.

"You. I saw her waiting for you. She sat at the bottom of the Stargate for five hours, just waiting. She was desperate for you to return. She'd have waited five days, five months, five years if she'd have to."

I looked at him carefully, gauging his reaction. There was no condemnation or worry in his eyes, as I had been afraid there would be. Instead, I saw confusion, and a growing joy.

"Why?"

"Because she loves you Jack. She loves you very much."

He stared at me for a second in total disbelief. Then a wide smile suddenly spread across his face.

"Scuse me Doc." he said, and jumped off the bed. He ran down the corridor shouting, "Sam! Sam!"

I smiled, and whispered to myself, "About bloody time!"



The End.




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