samandjack.net

Story Notes: EMAIL: TeresaD@flashmail.com

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of this zany author.

RATING: PG

CATEGORY: Angst, Post-Episode Story, S&J Romance

WARNINGS: none

SPOILERS: Point of View

SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 3

DATE: 07/31/99

URL: http://members.xoom.com/AsrianTD/differences.html

FEEDBACK: Please send feedback to dmulder@flashmail.com

SUMMARY: Doctor Carter does some thinking once things slow down enough to allow it.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey, I know this story may be considered the easy way out, but it's what I wanted to see, and I know a few others wanted to see it too, so I thought maybe this story would be appreciated... if not, then sorry. *grin*


I still cannot believe that I possibly could miss what was right in front of me, but I was purposely blind at the time. I did not realise that that man who left through the quantum mirror a few days ago was not my Jack, not in the slightest. There was too much pain there to be him, too much tragedy that was hidden under the surface.

At least, not until the last minute before he went back to his Sam.

With a shake of my head, I move through the SGA, which, with a lot of work, is now starting to look close to its former glory, but I think that we're going to be more wary about which worlds we choose to explore with this thing. Especially after what has happened. We've lost too much to be anything *but* wary.

Now that everything has slowed down, I have time to think about all that's happened, and I start coming to realisations that I never thought about before. I, Doctor Carter, member of the SGA, who thought that going through the Quantum Mirror would provide us with an answer to the problem that I allowed to occur, didn't realise what was right before my eyes all along.

Jack... Jack always did call me his miracle worker, but this time I failed him, and it cost him his life.

However, there were differences in them. Her Jack had gone through much more pain than mine ever had. My Jack had a son that I would see on the days when he was allowed to see him. He was such a wonderful father to Charlie... I don't know if her Jack had a son in their reality, or if the child is still alive. If he isn't, that would account for some of the pain I saw in his eyes in that last moment.

The forks in the road that we follow...

I wish my alternate all the luck in all the worlds that the Stargates travel, and then some. When dealing with her Jack, even more than dealing with mine, she will need all of the luck that can be had. Even dealing with my Jack wasn't the easiest thing in the world, but I loved him.

I love him still.

I lean against the wall and look at our Stargate, sitting serenely there as if nothing had happened, and I realise just how much innocence we've lost. Before the invasion, despite our attempts to stop them, we *were* innocent. For some reason, the moment after our anniversary dinner flashes into my mind.

The moment that I didn't tell her Jack about.

When he stopped me there, and just looked at me, that moment spoke the words that he couldn't. My Jack always did have trouble saying the words, but then, he never had to. I knew, no matter what. He kissed my forehead and looked at me, as though to say, "If something happens to me, remember that I love you."

Remember? How could I ever forget when the memories run through my mind like a movie?

Even now, I can almost hear his laugh, feel his arms around me, and it hurts. It hurts so bad that I can't stand it. My head bows and my hair falls down around my face as I try to keep back the tears. I've cried so much lately.

And to think that before all this happened, I can count the times I really cried on the fingers of one hand. When the Air Force rejected my application, when my father died of terminal cancer, the happy tears I shed at mine and Jack's wedding, and all the crying I'd done since Jack's death.

Not to mention that now, I can't even imagine being in the military...

I brush the tears away and look up at the Stargate, and where before I had found death and pain, I find hope. Right now, I'm actually missing my alternate, since over time, it felt more like she was my twin sister rather than another version of me.

I like her...

Then a pair of arms wrap around me, and I nearly go through the roof. There's a chuckle muffled into my hair. A very familiar chuckle that sends my heart into my throat.

"Jack?"

Another chuckle. "Yeah?"

My mouth moves without anything coming out while my mind races. Finally, I stutter out a "How?"

"I don't pretend to understand it. That's your job," he teases me. "One minute I'm dead and the world's coming to an end, and then I'm back and it's not. You know me and how easily confused I get."

I just laugh, spin in his arms and wrap myself around him. The conversation I had with the Asgard seemed to hint about certain people needed to prevent this from happening again. First and last defense, someone had told me once about the Stargate Project. I guess we are.

He just looks down at me and ruffles my hair. For ages, we just stand there.

We could have stood there forever and I wouldn't care.

Finally, we go off and start rebuilding. The healing process has already begun.



**********************

-End-




You must login (register) to review.