samandjack.net

Story Notes: EMAIL: babalouie90@yahoo.com

STATUS: Complete

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack

CATEGORY: Slight Angst (S/J)

SPOILERS: None

SEQUEL/SEASON INFO: Sequel to Masks

RATING: R

CONTENT WARNINGS: Adult situations

SUMMARY: Jack reflects on events after a mission and other things.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Any resemblance to events or people, living or dead is strictly coincidental. This story may not be archived without permission of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: *~*~* Denotes a change in character point of view or a new scene. Suggest reading Masks story before reading this story. Different character points of view are used in the story. Just trying to get us to see a different point of view. I hope you enjoy the story, your feedback is appreciated.


I could hear Daniel calling my name, but I chose to ignore it. Maybe if I ignored him he would go away.

"Jack" Daniel said as he grabbed my arm.

"What is it Daniel?" I asked.

"What's wrong with Sam? What did you tell Dr. Fraiser?" he inquired.

"I just told her about Sam having a bad dream. That's all. Oh yeah, I told her that the whole team was here for her if she needed anything" I said.

"Jack, what's wrong with Sam?"

"Daniel, I don't know what's wrong with Sam. If I knew than I could help her."

"Did you say anything to hurt her?" Daniel asked.

"No Daniel. Sam just had a bad dream and very little sleep. I didn't say anything to offend or hurt her."

"Are you sure Jack, because sometimes you can be a little rough around the edges."

"Daniel, just leave me alone. I've got to go file a mission report" I said in a gruff tone.

Daniel was surprised at Jack saying that he had to go do paper work. He knew that Jack loathe paper work. He watched as Jack walked down the hall to his office.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~



I sat there in my office thinking about what signals I had missed. Why didn't I see this coming. I knew exactly why. I had been too busy day dreaming about her to notice that one of my team members was in trouble. What kind of commander am I?

How could I have let her down like that. I never even had a chance to apologize for my actions at the ball last Saturday night. I sat there just staring at the paper on my desk.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*



There she was, encouraging me to be with her. I climbed into bed and we began to kiss and let our passion take control. I rolled so that I was on top and she gave me an encouraging smile. It felt so good, she felt so good, I hoped this night would never end.

"Make love to me Jack" she said.

I looked down and saw that instead of my dark hair beautiful date, I was now with Sam. She was looking up and smiling at me. I knew that I should have stopped, but I couldn't. No I take that back, I didn't want to stop. She called out my name, asking me to increase my rhythm. She then screamed out my name as she climaxed, and I called out hers.

"Sam!" I exclaimed.

"Sam? Who's Sam and why are you calling his name?" my date said.

I look back down and see that it is no longer Sam under me, but my date. I tried to explain that Sam is a woman and not a man. Then I realize that no matter what I said I was digging a deeper hole for myself to be buried in.

"Jack! How could you?" she said as she walked into the bedroom.

I turn to see Sam enter the room. I was still on top of my date. I quickly rolled off of her and started to get out of the bed, but realized that I didn't have any clothes on. I stop and tried to wrap the sheet around me.

"How could you Jack. You know that I needed you and was counting on you. How could you let me down like this?" Sam asked in a sad tone.

Sam ran out of the room in tears and I just hung my head.

Then I heard a knock on the door.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*



"Jack, are you in there?" Daniel asked.

"Come on in Daniel" I replied as I wiped the sleep out of my eyes.

When Daniel came in he could obviously tell that I hadn't written my report because there was a blank piece of paper in front of me.

"So do you want to talk about it Jack?" Daniel inquired.

"Talk about what?" I replied.

Daniel then went on to say that it was rather obvious that I was very upset about something. He said that he noticed that I hadn't written anything yet for the report and asked what I was going to write. I told him that I was going to write the truth. He asked me which truth.

I told him that as team's C.O. it was my duty to watch out for the members of my team. I said that I had failed to notice earlier that Carter was acting strange. I should have seen that she was not in peak condition for this mission. It was obvious to everyone when she came through the gate that she was off her mark, yet I chose to proceed with the mission. I know her and what she is capable of doing, yet I pushed her too much this time. It was obvious that if I had been paying closer attention than none of this would have happened.

"None of what Jack?" Daniel asked.

"None of this. You know, Carter fainting, and all" I replied.

"Jack how were you suppose to know that she wasn't feeling good. None of us noticed it" Daniel said.

It didn't matter what Daniel was saying, I knew he was just trying to make me feel better. No matter what he said, I knew that I was responsible for her since she was a member of my team.

"Jack? Did you hear anything that I was just telling you?" Daniel asked.

"Look Daniel, I know you mean well by coming here and I appreciate your effort. But I need to file this report. So if you would excuse me, I can finish this report" I said.

Daniel got up and left the office. I could see that he was upset with me. He must have figured it out too. I had been day dreaming so much the last few days, that I put my entire team at extreme risk. It could have cost them their lives. They counted on me and I let them down, especially Carter.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~



I couldn't figure out what was wrong with Jack. Why did he say that he was to blame and that he should have noticed that she was ill. I saw her and she didn't look sick to me, Daniel thought to himself.

Wait a minute, I remember her looking rather pale in the hallway before briefing that morning. I even asked her if she needed a doctor. Instead she told me to go get Jack and Teal'c for a briefing. I knew she was feeling bad, why didn't I say anything to Jack or to General Hammond. I should have spoken up.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



When I exited my office 30 minutes later I noticed that Daniel still standing there. I knew that I had made a mistake by venting my frustration out on him. I was just so upset with myself for failing Sam.

I remembered hearing her scream over the phone and it sent a chill through my whole body. I wanted to run out of the General's office and speed off to her house. I sensed that the General could see the panic in my eyes, but he chose to ignore it. He convinced me to remain calm and to wait for Dr. Fraiser to come back on the line. He said that if Dr. Fraiser didn't pick the phone back up in about 10 more minutes he would send someone over to her house.

I was so happy when I heard Dr. Fraiser get back on the line. I remember how relieved I felt to know that Sam was okay. I now had to keep my feelings under control when I go pick Cassie up from school, I don't want to alarm her. I then turned to Daniel standing against the wall outside my office.

"Hey Daniel, you okay?" I asked.

"Fine Jack. I was just thinking, that's all" Daniel quipped.

"Well I was on my way to go pick Cassie up from school since Dr. Fraiser is with Sam. I was wondering if you were up for spending some time with Cassie?" I asked.

"What? How come?" Daniel inquired.

"Well I volunteered us when I was talking to Dr. Fraiser on the telephone in General Hammond's office. So do you want to come? I'm on my way to see Teal'c to see if he wants to come along"

Daniel knew that this would be a perfect distraction for everyone, including himself.

"Yeah, that sounds great Jack. You go get the Jeep and Teal'c and I will meet you top side."

If there was one thing that I could count on no matter what, was that Cassie would always have a smile for me. I remember when we first met her she didn't smile, but from then on she always had a special smile for each of us. I really loved that little girl and she had me wrapped around her little finger. It's a good thing she doesn't take advantage of it too much.



~*~*~*~*~*~



As usual we were terrible when it came to sticking to the bed time rules with Cassie. We let her stay up late and watch movies. It was nice to see her smiling and laughing so much, it made us forget our own problems.

However, I got a little worried at dinner tonight when I noticed her eyeing a boy at the Mexican food restaurant. I thought Uncle Jack was going to have to talk with that boy. I wish Carter had been with us to see that. She was anxious to see Cassie growing up like a regular kid. We all knew that she had enough grief in her life since her entire planet's population was killed, so when she smiles we like to believe that she has put the worst behind her.

I started to relax in my bedroom when I saw the light in the living room turn off. I knew that Daniel had gone to sleep on the sofa, leaving one bedroom for Teal'c and the other for Cassie. I laid down in bed and I started reflecting on the events of the last couple of days.

I remember that shortly after the masquerade ball I had been dreaming so much about my date that she actually gave me a wet dream. She was all I dreamed about for the next night or two. Then I realized that she had crept into my days and was causing me to day dream. It wasn't until Carter became ill that my dreams dramatically changed.

I knew that I was now seeing Carter in my dreams because I felt as if I had betrayed her in dreaming about my lady friend. I had let her down and this was my mind's way of punishing me for dreaming about someone else.

It had been a long time since I had been with a woman in an intimate way, with the exception of Kenthia. But with her it was just a physical thing. It was that way with my date last Saturday night, but at least with her I wasn't drugged like I was with Kenthia.

However, I must admit that it was nice that night to be with a woman, I just wish it had been a certain blonde hair and blue eye beauty that I know. I felt embarrassed for thinking of my second in command that way, and decided I needed to go to sleep. If I was lucky maybe I wouldn't dream at all tonight.

As I laid down, I know that I need to be ready in case Dr. Fraiser calls and says that Sam needs something. I just wish that she would say that Sam needs me.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The End.




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