Major Samantha Carter left her brother's house early the day after Christmas. It was a surprise to have such warm weather this time of year. Since the roads were clear and dry and she did not want to have Brian drive all the way back to the base she had decided to take the motorcycle she had stored in his garage for the winter. At least she would get it back to the base and she could work on getting it cleaned and tuned up before spring. It would give her a chance to use the new helmet Brian had given her for Christmas. The kids had wanted her to stay a little longer but she really wanted to get back to base and spent the coming New Year with her friends at SGC. She enjoyed New Years parties at the SGC and besides it would give her another chance to dance with Jack. She had really enjoyed dancing with him at the Christmas party. She felt safe and warm near him. She knew the problems they might be headed for but she couldn't help how she felt. She was pretty sure she loved the guy and knew he felt strongly for her. Some day maybe it would work out for them.
The past few days had been rather quite at the SGC. Christmas was usually quite. They had thrown a great party but now everyone was off base with family, at least those with family. Jack O'Neill was not one of them and he sat in his office on base catching up on paper work. He hated paper work. It was boring. He would much rather be somewhere on the other side of the stargate with his team SG1.
At least the Christmas party had lifted his spirits somewhat. This was not his favorite time of the year. It brought back to many memories. Memories that hurt. Slowly he was healing with the help of his friends and one in particular was even helping him learn how to feel an emotion he thought he would never feel again. Thank God for Sam. He knew he shouldn't have feelings like he had for her but every time he was near her he felt alive again and knew there was still hope for him.
Daniel had gone off to Abydos to visit his father-in-law, Teal'c was with his wife and son and Sam had left to spend Christmas day with her brother's family. He knew how much she cared for his kids.
At least he had had a chance to dance with her at the Christmas party before she left. It had felt so nice just to hold her close without having to explain to anyone. He always tried to fine some way to get close to her. Just to stand near her every time they went through the gate and she always move just a little closer so he could feel her warmth. Just the touch of her shoulder brushing his was enough the give him a slight shiver. He thought she might feel the same. He hoped she might feel the same. Daniel and Janet had hinted that she did and would smile every time they saw him and Sam together.
Paper work, paperwork, paper work, yak.
His thoughts were interrupted by a cough for the open doorway of his office. He looked up to see General Hammond standing there with a deep look of concern on his face.
"General, you look like a man who just swallowed a venomous spider." Jack joked.
"Jack, I don't exactly know how to tell you this so I am just going to say it. Major Carter was involved in an automobile accident on her way back to the base from her brother's home." Hammond choked out. " She is in critical condition and the doctors are not very hopeful."
He looked a Hammond in disbelief. He felt like someone had just pierced his heart with a hot poked and twisted it to the depth of his soul.
"The rest of SG1 is due to return to base today. I thought you might want to get them together as soon as they arrive and tell them yourself. I know how close your team has become. I think they should hear this from you." Hammond also had an idea of how close O'Neill was becoming to Carter but tried not to let on.
Jack knew the expression on his face told Hammond just how much Sam meant to him.
"General, where is she?" he asked quietly.
"Jack, she is in route to the base medical center. The chopper will be here shortly. We have the best medical versatility in the world, Jack. And the best of the best in medical personal." Hammond tried to reassure him.
Jack could see the concern in Hammond's eyes. He sensed that the General had been crying. The General had always treated Sam like a daughter and he was also close to her father. O'Neill was instantly out of his chair headed to medical Hammond following, trying to keep pace.
When he arrived Janet stood with a full tremor staff waiting for the chopper to arrive. Janet looked at him as he entered and saw the desperate need to know in his eyes.
"Jack, all we know is that she was on a motorcycle and was hit by a pickup truck that ran a red light. The truck hit the bike and then hit Sam as she fell. They said that if she hadn't been wearing a helmet she would have been killed instantly. I won't know anything about her condition until they get her here. I won't kid you I was told it was bad." She placed her hand over his to give some type of reassurance but it did no good. She saw panicked emotion in his eyes and watched as tears swelled in his eyes.
A commotion outside brought Janet alert as a tremor team rolled a gurney, on which the almost lifeless form of Sam lay, into the tremor center.
An oxygen mask covered her face but Jack saw her bloody and bruised features as the gurney rolled past him. He turned away so that the others would not see his tears. There was nothing he could do, he wasn't medical and his insides were falling apart little by little as he just stood there. He wiped tears away but they kept coming. At that moment the intercom system came on," Colonel O'Neill to the main briefing room please."
He grabbed a handful of tissues from a box Janet had handed to him and headed off in the direction of the briefing room. By the time he arrived he had the tears pretty much under control. It was hard but he couldn't let himself walk around the SGC crying in front of everyone.
Daniel and Teal'c were seated at the conference table and stared as he walked in showing signs of emotional upset. His eyes were still red and puffy.
My God, thought Daniel, what happened to him?
He sat down opposite Daniel. " We are here because........." he started when Teal'c interrupted, "Should we not wait for Major Carter, O'Neill?"
At that he felt more tears stream from his eyes and roll down his face.
"Teal'c, Major Carter is what this meeting is about." He said as he wiped the tears away. "Sam was on her way back to base this morning and was badly injured in an accident. She is in the base tremor center as we speak. We don't know if she'll make it or not." And with this he almost lost it. Daniel jumped in to save him.
"Jack, what happened?"
"It seems she was riding a motorcycle back to base from her brothers house when she was hit by a pickup truck that ran a red light. All we can do is wait until Doc Fraiser has something to tell us."
Teal'c sat in silence looking from Daniel to Jack his mouth hanging open. No words would come out. Daniel looked at him and for the first time since he had met Teal'c he saw a deep concern in his eyes.
In his own way Teal'c stated simply," Major Carter will recover, O'Neill. She has a very strong will to live. I have sensed it many times during our missions together." He said nothing more.
Jack now found time to be the worst enemy he had to face. All he could do was sit in his quarters on the base and wait. He knew Janet would come tell him how well or bad things had gone as soon as she could free herself. His thoughts were about Sam. He remembered the first time he had seen her the day she walked into the conference room during the SGC's first Stargate briefing. He was overtaken by her beauty and slightly intimidated by her brains. She had saved him more then once during the past three years. The time they had been trapped at the Arctic after the gate deposited them in the wrong location. She had been able to keep him alive until Hammond found them and got them home. Over the years he had found himself drawn to her more each day and now knew that his life would be mean nothing to him without her in it.
Daniel Jackson tapped on the open door of his office and walked in before he could say anything. Maybe it was good to have Danny there right know, he thought. "Daniel, sit." He said as he pointed to the chair in front of his desk.
Daniel sat and looked at Jack as he spoke, " Jack, I know how much Sam means to you, she means a lot to us all. I can't even begin to image SG1 without her." Jack looked up at him and saw the hurt in his eyes. It hit him that he was not the only one in pain over this.
" I know, Daniel, I can't either. I can't image my life with out Sam in it, Danny." He said as he buried his head in his hands to hide the tears that had been close to the surface. "We spent days off world and I can protect her. We come home with cuts and bruises and I can help her. But going home for Christmas here on Earth where I can't protect her and this happens. God, Daniel where is the sense in that?" He lifted his head and looked at Daniel.
"I don't know, Jack. There is no sense in it. Life doesn't always make sense. But Sam is alive and we can still have hope." He said getting up and walking to the door. He looked back at Jack. He had been through a lot with his man and had seen him in physical pain, drunk, angry, sad, even silly, but had never seen him with such deep emotional hurt as he was suffering know.
He was tired from the overwhelming flood of emotion that he had experienced over the past few hours and snapped his head up as Janet tapped lightly on his open door. She stood in the doorway still dressed in her medical gown. The look of tired pain on her face told him things had not gone as well as he had hoped.
"I have done as much as I can for her, Jack. She has a badly broken left leg but we were able to set the bones and have it in traction. But I'm more concern about the internal injuries. We were able to stop the internal bleeding but she's been left pretty weak. And...."
"And what, Janet?" he asked softly, emotion in his voice.
"Well Jack, she is in a coma and we will not know the extent of brain damage if any until she comes out ......." There was a hesitation in her voice.
"What?" he pressed the issue?
"If she ever comes out of it." Was her direct answer.
"What about the Goa'uld healing device. Would that help her?" he asked.
"Possibly, but unfortunately Sam is the only one here who can use and control it."
"Can I see her?" he asked.
"Yes, she's in recovery room 3." With that he was on his feet and headed down the hallway to the medical section.
Entering the recovery room he saw Sam lying on the bed so still. An intravenous line ran to her left arm, there was a small cut just above her left eye and her left leg was held suspended above the bed. He walked to the bed and looked down at her. She looked like she was sleeping, her chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. He leaned over the bed and gently kissed her forehead then planted himself in the chair next to the bed and took her hand in his.
"I'm here, Sam, I won't let go, just stay with me." He whispered to her.
Daniel walked into the room followed closely by Teal'c. Both stopped as they observed the scene and then back slowly out into the hallway. Jack O'Neill was asleep, sitting in the chair next to the bed, holding Sam's hand tightly against his chest.
"It would seem that Samantha Carter is in good hands." Said Teal'c in his a very un-presumptuous voice. The sound of Teal'c's deep voice woke Jack with a start. He took his free hand and wiped the sleep from his eyes.
"Hay guys, come on in." he said as he turned and saw his friends in the hallway just outside the door. He then realized he was still holding Sam's hand and he placed it gently back on the bed beside her.
"We came in to see how Sam was doing, Jack and to tell you that Janet has asked General Hammond to contact the Tokra. She thinks your idea about the Goa'uld healing device may help. Hammond had already tried to contact Sam's dad but it seems the Tokra are moving their base and we have not yet been able to reach them. But Hammond is still trying." Daniel assured him.
"Let's hope we find them soon." Daniel sensed the fear in Jack's voice.
He knew how much Sam meant to O'Neill and thought that if she didn't pull through this they would all be hurting, but that Jack would be destroyed.
The man had been through so much hurt and pain in his past. Sam had been his salvation and most of their friends knew this. Most of their friends also knew that weather they knew it or not they were in love with each other and some day they would realize it and maybe do something about it. But first they had to get Sam back or they would lose both their friends. Jack would never survive losing Sam.
"Oh my God, Sam." They all turned at the same time to see Jacob standing in the doorway with Janet and General Hammond. He held the Goa'uld healing device in his hand.
"Jacob." They all said as he moved to the bed where his daughter lay.
He raised the healing device and they watched as he closed his eyes and concentrated on the task at hand. As he moved the device along the length of Sam's still frame a white glow began to flow from the device and engulf her body.
After a moment or two they heard a small murmur come from her. Jack was at her side is less then a second saying her name but they were all in for a strange surprise. Slowly her eyes opened and she looked up at Jack and her father who was standing next to him still holding the healing device. "Thank you, Selmak." She said as she tried to sit up. Janet came to the bedside and began to take readings from the medical equipment to which Sam had been connected. She then disconnected all the lines and shut the equipment off. "Well, it seems the device did its job. According to all the reading you are in full recovery. I'll have that leg taken out of traction and remove the cast asap." Janet smiled at her.
"That would be fine, doctor." Sam answered with a formality, which puzzled Janet.
"Sam, you had us scared for awhile there." Jack said. His happiness at her recovery was hard for him to conceal as he stood there with a huge grin on his face.
"Sam has not yet found her way, Colonel. I am Jolinar." Sam said to the shock of everyone in the room. Jack's face dropped. His eyes reflected his shocked heart.
"I have been trying to assist her in her journey back. She is looking for you, Colonel, but is lost and wondering between worlds. She believes she is caught in a wormhole traveling with SG1 and has lost her friends. She is trying to find them. I can hear her calling your name, Colonel. She is frightened." Jolinar/Sam said, as she looked a Jack.
"Well, you need some rest and you will stay here under observation for the next couple of days." Janet commanded as she turned to General Hammond and motioned him into the hallway.
"General, could you schedule a briefing at 0900 hours with the SG1 team?" she asked and as a afterthought added " with the exception of Sam that is." She then took Jacob by the arm and motioned for him to accompany her to her office.
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c were seated in the main conference room at 0900 as General Hammond, entered followed shortly by Janet and Jacob. The members of SG1 stood as they entered.
"Please be seated." Hammond said and they sat back down. "Doctor Fraiser has some input that she will share." And he turned to Janet. "Doctor this is your meeting go ahead."
Janet started," Jacob and I have had a long discussion and we both agree that Sam is Sam and not Jolinar. We all know that Jolanar is dead but before dying she left Sam with a lifetime of memories. These are Jolinar's memories not Sam's."
Jacob added, "Yes, Sam's brain contains two set of memories. She rarely has been able to remember anything of Jolinar's life without a great deal of concentration and effort on her part."
Janet continued," The human brain is a mystery even to us in the medical profession. Just as we think we know how it works something happens to let us know how little we really do know. What we do know or surmise as happened to Sam is that Jolinar's memories have come to the surface before Sam's and Sam believes she really is Jolinar. "
Jack asked," So what you are saying is that Sam is Sam but can't remember that she's Sam and thinks she is Jolinar? Is that about it?"
"Well in a nut shell, yes. But it becomes a little more complicated. Head injuries such as the one Sam suffered can cause memory loss or push some people over the edge to a fantasy world. But in Sam's case she is remembering real memories of someone who was once part of her. She has become confused as to who she really is."
Daniel spoke next, "So what can we do to help her remember ?"
"The one person she seems to be searching for is Jack. He is her commanding officer and she is looking for direction. She is trying get find her own memories. She told us that when she said Jolinar was trying to help her find her friends."
Janet also knew that Sam was looking for Jack for another reason as well, but thought it better if she kept that to herself.
"Is there not a way that we can help Major Carter find, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.
" Maybe Teal'c, I have a idea." Jack stated. " What if we go through the gate to some planet, say some quite little world with not a danger within a billion miles or so and we wait there until you send Sam through. We can meet her on the other side and she would have found her way out of the wormhole she thinks she is lost in. Well, what do you think? Could that jog her memory back into place?" he asked, hope in his voice.
"That may just work, Colonel. If she thinks she 's lost in a wormhole let's put her in one to find her way out. Not bad, Jack." Jacob said.
"At this point anything could work. I think this has as much chance as anything I can think to do." Janet stated.
"Ok, so we are agreed. Colonel, tomorrow you will take your team through the gate to a planet of your choice and we will send Major Carter through after you. Let's hope it works." Hammond commanded "you're dismissed, get some rest, gentlemen." And he left the conference room.
Jack couldn't sleep so he went back to the medical center to visit Sam. As he walked in she smiled at him and he thought for a moment that maybe his old Sam was back.
"Colonel, I have still not found Samantha Carter but I will continue." Sam/Jolinar said as he sat in the chair next to the bed.
"Thank you, I appreciate all you are trying to do for Sam. We all do." He told her softly.
"Colonel, I know Samantha would not want me to say this but I know that she cares very deeply for you. I thought you should know that. I think that her feelings for you may help me bring her back." Sam/Jolinar said very seriously.
Jack looked at her with sincere feeling and said, " When you find her tell her that Jack O'Neill cares very deeply for her also. Tell her that for me, Ok."
" I will do that, Colonel. I will do that." And she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. As Sam fell into a restful sleep he sat and watched her and felt all his emotions surface. "God Sam, come back to me. I need you." and he to fell asleep in the chair next to her.
Early the next morning Jack, Daniel and Teal'c were assembled in full gear in front of the stargate. Jack had picked planet PJ6-877 where they had once been held captive by the bounty hunter Aris Boch. It was an uninhabited world with no present dangers. Jack gave General Hammond thumbs up and they moved up the ramp and stepped through the gate. They arrived on the other side and stood facing the gate to wait for Sam to arrive. They didn't have long as the gate splashed open filling the space in front of it with a material that looked like a large horizontal waterspout. The gate stabilized and Samantha Carter step through.
"Wow, what a trip. I swear I was stuck in that wormhole for days." She said as she stepped down from in front of the gate.
"Sam?" Daniel asked.
"Sam?" Jack asked
"Samantha Carter?" Teal'c asked.
She stood staring at the three of them for a moment and then just said, "Well yea. Were you expecting someone else?"
A huge grin spread across Jack's face and he couldn't take his eyes off her as she stood in front of him. She looked confused. "Welcome back, Sam." He said.
"Welcome back?" she replied.
"It's a long story." He told her.
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c breathed a sigh and smiled at Sam.
"Hey, it's New Years." Jack remembered "What do ya say? Group hug Kids?" and he opened his arms. Sam walked into his open arms as Daniel and Teal'c moved toward him. They looked at each other and said "Na" then proceeded to hug each other. Jack wrapped his arms around Sam and held her tight. He said softly, "Nice to have you back, Sam." They looked at Daniel and Teal'c and the four of them burst into laughter.
"If we leave now we can be home in time for the New Years party. And if you promise to dance with me all night I'll explain everything to you." He promised Sam as he moved to reenter the gate for the trip home. He was a happy man. He had his Sam back.
"Right, sir." Was her reply as she followed him through the gate.
The End.
Story Notes: Email: Lavinia@Mediaone.net
Copyright © Lolly D. 2000
Authors note: I got this idea from watching the Character of Sam Carter working on a motorcycle in one of this seasons Stargate SG-1 episodes.
Copyright © Lolly D. 2000
Authors note: I got this idea from watching the Character of Sam Carter working on a motorcycle in one of this seasons Stargate SG-1 episodes.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]