How do I measure how much I miss him?
In the frozen seconds of panic I felt when he didn't follow?
In the days of guilt that Daniel couldn't alleviate with his kind words?
In the months when my world became him, and only him?
In the sleepless nights, my aching bones, my fight and my struggle. In the despair that gnaws at me. In the way Janet looks at me, like she's looking for something specific in my face. But she won't find it. It's a secret, one I keep even from myself.
It's how much I miss him.