What a day!!! Well, in retrospect, I guess you could call it what a few months in my and Teal'c's case! Oh how time flies! We at least got to have some fun - myself especially! The golf and pottery was okay, but kissing Sam, that's on a whole other level! I personally can't believe that I actually did that, building up the nerve to do it took me more than one day...well, more than, oh for crying out loud!!! I don't know what to call it. More than one loop, there we go. I'm glad I did it though. I only kissed her once. Sure, I could have done it more times than that, but then when we did break the loop I would want to keep doing it, and once is enough to want that!!!
She tasted good. Not the good that you expect someone you adore to be like, but really sweet, like nothing I had imagined before. And trust me, I had imagined. Strawberries and vanilla, that's what it reminds me of, but somehow that just doesn't describe it. It was so much more than just a kiss - for me anyway - but she doesn't even remember it. When Danny asked me if I had ever done anything crazy, I just smiled at her. Of course it was crazy! It was against regs! I wish I would have done it earlier in that loop though, so I could watch the security camera tape and see the look on ol'George's face.
**********************************************************************
Sam woke with a jump and slammed her hand down on her alarm clock. How could it possibly be 6 o'clock Monday already? The morning guy went on about how wonderful this week's carnival would be as long as the 40% chance of rain didn't actually happen. She flopped back down on her pillow. It had been a very, very long month so far. They had gotten 2 days off after SG-1 broke the time loop. 2 days! What a riot, not even enough time to get a good night's sleep! Sam yawned and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Coffee would wake her up. Coffee! Stumbling blindly out of her room and tripping over her long forgotten jogging sneakers, she made her way to her kitchen.
As Sam waited for the coffee to boil, her mind wandered over the events of the past weeks. Armbands that make you Wonderwoman, until they fall off. Lie detector machines that don't work - well, okay they work, kind of.... Tok'ra that she really didn't like. Martouf's death. Colonel O'Neill professing his love for her. She professing her love for Colonel O'Neill. Repressing it yet again. Being caught in a time loop for at least the last 3 months. What an interesting life she lead. And then the Colonel kept smiling at her!!! When Daniel asked if he had done anything crazy, he smiled at her. That alone kept her mind whirling for hours on end. What did he, or we, do? Did we go fishing, quit, set a bomb of, destroy the commissary? Either way, I think I'd rather not know right now, expecially if he keeps smiling at me!
**********************************************************************
Ah, Monday morning, the smell of the flowers, the freshly cut grass, the sound of birds, the sound of the neighbors having another fight, and the sight of their kids trying to break all their windows. Time to go back inside. I've got two hours to get to base. My coffee's been cold for quite a while now. I woke up this morning from the most wonderful dream. Well, it was wonderful for a while, it depends how you look at it:
I woke up with the sun in my face. I smiled to myself as I remembered the events of the night before. I silently slipped out of bed and went to make some omelettes a la O'Neill. I hope she's hungry. With the eggs half done I call out to her, telling her to come down for breakfast.
"Sam," I say in a cheery voice, "Time for breakfast, come on!"
I wait for a minute and when I hear no groggy morning footsteps on the stairs, I decide to go up and find her. Putting the eggs on slow cook, I walk up the stairs. When I reach my bedroom door, I slyly take a peak inside. It surprises me to see that she's not there. The covers on the bed are still crumpled. Deciding that she must be getting ready to take a shower or is in the bathroom, I point myself in that direction. I walk into the dark room and flip the light switch. Not here either. I run back downstairs, calling her name and looking frantically for her. I finally walk back into the kitchen, and the calendar on my fridge catches my eye. The date must be wrong, I look at my watch, but only find that the calendar doesn't lie.
That's when I realized it was a dream I had because 2 days had passed in my dream, not just 8 hours!
I turned the oven burner off and sunk to the floor. It was all a dream. None of it really happened. I sigh and let my head hit the cupboard. I had dreamt that I had kissed her, but not in the time loop, I had taken her out to dinner, and kissed her under the full moon on her doorstep. The next night I had done the same, except it was on my doorstep. I remember going inside and making love to her. I remember this feeling of fulfillment, being able to love her, hold her, being happy.
But it never happened. It was all a dream.
So I let my head bang against the wood of my cupboards, and I cried. I cried because I loved her. Because I do love her. And I can't touch her, I can't even hug her. I'm not a young man anymore. I want someone to share my life with, I want someone to share this house with. It seems so lonely, empty, sad. I cry for all I'm worth. Why can't things be different? Why can't we be in a different reality. This must be the one that God forgot! I just sit on the floor and cry with my head in my hands. She's so beautiful, so smart, so funny, so wonderful, so kind, so compassionate, so caring, so beautiful - inside and out. I'll never get over her, I'd never want to.
So I sat and cryed like a baby for a whole hour. Eventually, I got my butt off the floor and grabbed a glass of cold coffee and went outside, where I've been since. As I go inside I see the half-cooked omelettes sitting on the frying pan on the oven. I walk straight by it, heading for the living room. I let my body fall onto the couch, which lets out a omph as I hit it. I wish she could be here, I wish she could hear what I want to tell her. I wish the guy that thought up the regs would rot in hell.
*********************************************************************
After watching the morning news on Channel 13 and eating a pop tart, I decide that I better get dressed if I don't want to be late for the meeting today. I set my coffee cup in the sink and silently thank whoever's up there that this isn't another briefing, just a meeting about our last mission, the time loop, and if we can manipulate the Stargate's sub- space field ourselves. I can envision it now - Colonel half asleep or doodling, Daniel asking questions that I explained already, and Teal'c just sitting there. That's kind of always made me feel weird, Teal'c doesn't say anything, he just sits and stares most of the time. It's kind of creepy. Oh well, at least we get to stay on Earth today! That's a plus.
After getting dressed I grab my jacket and allow a quick glance in the mirror. What I see is a woman I don't know anymore. Sure, I still have blue eyes, blond hair, but that's not the point. I used to have dreams that I held on to, even if that white picket fence thing is a long way off now. I always imagined myself in a good job that I enjoyed when I was this age, that came true, but I always thought that I'd have someone else to be here with me. Someone to talk to, someone to live with, maybe I'd have kids, but either way, I'd be loved. I'm not saying that I don't have friends that I love and they love me back, but I mean that in a relationship way. When was the last time that someone told me they loved me, my father doesn't count. I often daydream now, especially when I'm alone. I wonder what it would be like to be held at night, or to have someone's arm around you during a movie, to be able to tell someone your deepest secrets, to talk about your childhood, or even just to tell someone your favorite color. Its almost funny, I would rather have someone to tell the little things to; like favorite movies, places, etc. No one knows right now, no one. Sometimes, I wish my life was normal, but more often than not, it's anything but.
***********************************************************************
As I walk into the SGC and get security clearance I see her walk out of the elevator. She's engrossed in a folder, probably the topic of today's meeting. She stops right next to me and scans her hand. The Airman gives her clearance and she keeps walking. I hurry to catch up with her.
"Morning Major!" I say from behind her shoulder, close to her ear. She jumps, I smile.
"Good morning, Sir," she replies, "Didn't see you there."
I simply chuckle and we continue to the meeting room (16-7) in silence. When we arrive I grab the door handle before she can act and open it, ushering her inside.
"Thank you," she says to me. She blushes a little as I nod my head and guide her into the room pulling her chair out for her. She's beautiful when she blushes. She's beautiful when she doesn't. Her hair's longer now than it has been for all the years I've known her. Four now. That day was about two months ago (well, with the time loop it would be like 5 or 6 or.....) we went out for a drink, all of SG-1. It wasn't really a celebration, sure we'd all met each other on this day, but on that day a lot of bad things had happened too - Daniel had lost his wife, Teal'c had betrayed Apophis and the Serpent Guards (which was a good thing, but it made him near the top on the System Lord's Most Wanted list), we almost got killed (which is a regular occurrence now), and Kawalsky died (well, maybe not on that day, but the way I see it, having a ruthless worm in your head is just the same). I take my seat across from her at the table, I could sit beside her, but then I couldn't look at her without being totally obvious. She's looking at her notes again. I wish I could understand everything she's going to talk about today, but that's about as plausible as General Hammond turning into a big yellow slug, Teal'c bursting into a verse of "Oh Canada," Daniel getting a pet cobra, and Doc turning into a glow-in-the-dark vampire (which would explain all those damn blood tests!) - and all of this happening on the same day. Okay, I think I need to rest for a while, I don't know where I come up with this stuff, its like that weird recipe for making C-4 out of trident and a paperclip I thought up a few years ago. I close my eyes and let my head rest on the back of my chair. I wonder why everyone's late. A sudden thought of Daniel hits me: hanging by his pants from the Stargate with Siler, Teal'c, and the General trying to get him down by poking him with broom sticks. I laugh out loud, disregarding the fact that Sam's in here for the time being.
"What's so funny?" she asks. I open my eyes and look at her. I smile again, thinking back to in the loop when she asked me what I was smiling at.
"Oh, nothing." I say nonchalantly. She gives me a look that tells me that I'm doing a bad job of lying. I'm not planning on telling her that easy though, and she knows it.
"Okay then," she says, I don't like the glimmer in her eye, " Let's armwrestle, if I win - you tell me, if you win - you don't."
I sit stunned for a second, I didn't think she remembered that, then again this is Carter.
"Well..." she says, her eyes never leaving mine. Finally I give in.
"Raincheck, Carter." she looks a little disappointed, but I'm not going to give her the pleasure of beating me, I know she could. I give in. "I'll tell you anyway."
She smiles and listens as I explain my little vision of why no one else is here yet.
"That's cruel, Sir!!!" she exclaimes as soon as I finish. I simply just shrug my shoulders. Then she smiles and starts to giggle. I raise my eyebrows and gesture with my hands for her to continue. She catches her breath and then says, "Can you imagine the look on his face if the gate started to activate?!" She starts to giggle again and I join her. I keep my eyes trained on her, I love it when she laughs and smiles.
"No giggling Major!" I say between laughing in the most authoritative voice that I can muster at this moment in time.
***********************************************************************
So I'm in the meeting room with Colonel O'Neill and we're laughing over one of the most stupid things in the world, but I find it hilarious. I haven't laughed like this in a long time. When he said hello to me in the hallway earlier I thought he looked troubled, but now he looks more relaxed and happy, I haven't seen him truly happy for a long time now. So I laugh with him - just happy to be here. I remember looking in the mirror this morning and realize that just because you aren't held at night or don't come home to warm arms doesn't mean that you aren't loved. I hope he knows this too. The regs will keep us apart for the time being, but that doesn't mean we can't be in love, no one can control that, not General Hammond, not the President, no one. There's nothing that says we can't talk either or laugh together like we are now. At our next poker night if we rent a video, I can tell him that I love The Exorcist. Or even that I hate Dill Pickle chips.
The door opens and Daniel walks in looking ruffled although it's only 8:45 in the morning.
"Sam, Jack," he says as he sets his papers down on the desk. "How are you today?"
The Colonel and I just look from him to each other and start laughing again, louder and more enthusiastically this time.
"Well, its nice to see you too." Daniel says as he grabs a cup of coffee from the sidebar and takes a seat beside me. "Any particular reason that you two are so chipper at quarter to nine this morning?"
We just keep on laughing.
***********************************************************************
After the briefing I jog to catch up with Carter, going to her lab most likely.
"Hey, you coming to Barbeque a la O'Neill tonight?" I ask, referring to my suggestion of having a barbeque party when General Hammond suggested we come to try sushi with him today. She turns and smiles at me. I'll never get enough of that smile. My smile.
"Sure," she replies, "want me to bring anything?"
"Nope, got it covered."
"Okay then, anything else Sir?"
"Yeah," I say, "I really wanna try to understand this time thing. You think you could spend a little time trying to get it through this guy's brain?"
She smiles at me again. I remember the first time I saw that smile. I love her. I always have. I smile back at her.
"Sure," she says. I smile at her and put my arm around her shoulders and we walk to her lab. What a day. I can't wait for tomorrow.
. .
^ THE END ^
Story Notes: E-mail: raptus@mailcity.com
Spoilers: Children of the Gods, Window of Opportunity, Crossroads, Upgrades,
Season: Four
Archive: Sam and Jack Relationship Archive and Heliopolis, others ASK!
Author's Notes: Hope you enjoy this. I just had to write a piece about Window of Opportunity and Crossroads! Feedback Welcome, but please NO flames!!! Happy Reading!
(c) Aquila 2000
Spoilers: Children of the Gods, Window of Opportunity, Crossroads, Upgrades,
Season: Four
Archive: Sam and Jack Relationship Archive and Heliopolis, others ASK!
Author's Notes: Hope you enjoy this. I just had to write a piece about Window of Opportunity and Crossroads! Feedback Welcome, but please NO flames!!! Happy Reading!
(c) Aquila 2000
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]