samandjack.net

Story Notes: Set after Heroes and Chimera

I needed a break from the big fic, which ironically enough isn't a whole much longer than this one turned out to be so far.which makes me wonder why this one was so quick to write in comparison.

Dedication- For Kelda.keep smiling (and yes I am gonna make something of the pessimism) For Jackie.Will catch you soon hon, hope things are ok. For Amy.Something to feed our shared evil streak, hope to talk to you soon *hugz*

Email- sameri86uk@btinternet.com

Copyright- Samantha Fox 10/03.


Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines


"This is weird, isn't it Sir?" Sam asked as she walked beside Jack across the summery green fields of P5G 224. "What?" Jack asked, for once not reading her mind. "SG1's last mission as we stand," she continued. "Yeah no kidding," Jack nodded, glancing sideways at her. "Seems like kind of a bad omen doesn't it?" Sam half nodded as they began to descend a small slope. "Are you looking forward to retirement?" she turned her head towards him to gauge his reaction before he answered. "My knees are," he quipped, turning to meet her eyes in a brief smile. "I'm dreading it actually. I never was cut out for doing nothing." "You mean you don't want to spend the rest of your life fishing for water?" Sam grinned, kicking a small, perfectly round stone out of her path and into Jack's. "Maybe not the rest of, just until the lake freezes over," Jack bent to pick up the stone and tossed it from hand to hand as they walked. "Then you'll fish for ice?" "Am I that transparent?" Jack feigned shock, throwing the stone a little too high so that it missed his hand and bumped against Sam's chest before she snatched it out of the air. Sam didn't answer him, just exaggeratingly raising her eyebrows and starting to play Jack's game with the stone. They continued wandering on in silence for a few moments, both thinking about the past seven years and all that they'd been through together. "Can I have that back?" Jack asked after awhile, his eyes moving to settle on the stone as Sam's left hand caught it neatly. "No," Sam told him simply, taking a small step sideways making sure that he wasn't close enough to take it mid flight. "You didn't want it earlier," he admonished. "And now I do," Sam shrugged. "Get your own." "That was my own," Jack mock glared, suddenly stepping towards her and taking hold of her right hand just as the stone left it. Sam quickly caught it in her left hand and held it high above her head, leaning back a little, out of his reach. Jack had just managed to grab her other hand too when a shout came from the top of the hill ahead of them. "Are you two coming?" Daniel called impatiently. Sam and Jack both turned to look at him simultaneously. Teal'c was standing beside him and even from the distance they were at Jack could tell he was amused. Both Jack and Sam's heads turned back towards each other staring intently as they grinned for just a moment. Stepping away from each other they both let go of the stone at the same time, watching helplessly as it rolled down something the size of a rabbit hole. "Now look what you did," Jack accused. "You know what," Sam smiled sweetly. "You can have that one, I'll find another one." She walked on ahead of him so that he had to jog for a moment to catch up. "That was really childish you know," Jack informed her with a smirk. "Well someone has to relate to you on your level," Sam insisted with an evil glint in her eye. Jack was just about to shoot a comment back when Sam started walking ahead again, falling into step and conversation with Daniel and only casting one small look back at Jack with another small smile.

"So what do you have planned for tomorrow?" Daniel asked Jack when he finally found a moment to talk to his friend. Jack shot a glare at him, before glancing at Sam to see if she'd heard. "Aren't you going to give the man an answer?" Sam teased, evidently having heard. "The poor guy doesn't know what he's gonna do as a civilian," she explained to Daniel. "I mean come on, what could he possibly do everyday that will be as good as spending time with us?" "You know," Jack said, stepping in. "This retirement is suddenly looking quite welcome again." Sam turned away to grin again, hurrying forward to walk with Teal'c this time. She wished she hadn't bothered the instant he sent her a knowing look and began subtly grilling her on the sudden airy way she and Jack were interacting.

They finally reached the small village that was their destination after about two hours of the slow movement they had considered walking. Sam, having given up on holding a conversation with any of her teammates had been walking ahead. The devastation that was laid in front of her the second she walked over the ridge almost knocked her off her feet. The houses were burned to the ground, still smoldering and reams of Jaffa were gathered in the valley. Sam turned quickly to warn her team but only Jack was behind her. Ducking back behind the ridge and pulling him with her she told him what she had seen. A few moments of thought had them creeping back the way they had come, silently but as quickly as possible. Jack was confident that they hadn't been seen until an electric shock coursed through his body and he dropped to the ground. His eyes stayed open only long enough to see a dozen Jaffa behind him and Sam meeting the same fate at his side.

"I do not think it was wise to leave Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill alone," Teal'c decided when he and Daniel had been walking another route for ten minutes. "It was your idea," Daniel cried out in disbelief. "I think I may have been mistaken," Teal'c explain. "They may wonder what has happened to us." "That's what we have radio's for Teal'c," Daniel sighed. "They probably haven't even noticed we're gone." "We should walk the path to the village now to carry out our mission," Teal'c insisted, steering them a little back the way they had come.

"Where in the hell did they go?" Jack asked furiously only minutes after he and Sam had woken in a small concrete room with a heavy wooden door. "They should have been ready to back us up when we needed them." "Seriously though sir," Sam spoke up. "This could work to our advantage. Assuming they haven't been caught they can get us out of here." "Which would help if we had any way of letting them know that we are." "Are what?" "Here." "Well of course we are." "What?" Jack and Sam stared at each other for a moment, both trying to figure out what they'd just figured out. Giving up on whatever their previous conversation had been Sam began to check what gear she had been left with. "Sir, I still have my radio," she announced in surprise. "You're kidding?" Jack exclaimed, his hand moving to check his vest. "Ok, I don't but one will do us. I guess those dim witted Jaffa only managed to do half their job." "Don't complain," Sam laughed. "This could be our only way out." "Daniel?" Jack reached out, pressing the button of Sam's radio and putting his head a little closer to her chest than she really thought was necessary. "Teal'c, come in." "Jack?" Daniel's voice cracked through the air. "Where the hell are you, we've being trying to find you for hours." "We've been captured by the Jaffa from the village," Jack explained. "Whatever you do don't let them see you." "Yeah we figured that out already," Daniel replied wearily. "Where are you?" "We're in some kind of concrete cell," Sam told him, earning herself a rather putout look from Jack as he sat up straight again. "It's probably the village compound," Sam continued, ignoring Jack. "But I don't know how well guarded we are." There was silence on the other end of the radio for a few moments. "There appear to be ten enemy Jaffa in the close vicinity," Teal'c spoke eventually. "And they appear to be leaving." Jack and Sam both waited, watching each other and hoping that Daniel and Teal'c would be breaking them out any second. Five minutes passed in silence. "And here come a new ten," Daniel announced. "Looks like we'll have a five minute window to get you out next time." "It is expected for Jaffa to be able to stand guard for many hours at a time," Teal'c informed them. "There will likely not be another rotation for twelve hours." "Can't you take them on now and bust us out?" Jack asked impatiently, checking his watch to find that it was 2200 MST, even if they did get out now they wouldn't get home in time. "There are too many of them O'Neill," Teal'c apologized. "And they are well armed." "Great," Jack muttered, causing Sam to roll her eyes. "I knew something would go wrong." "We'll give you a buzz when it's time Jack," Daniel told them. "Sit tight. Daniel out." Jack sat heavily down on the lone wooden bench beside Sam, leaning his head back against the concrete wall. "All we need now is to die and this'll be a typical final mission." "Don't be so pessimistic…Sir," Sam insisted. "By the time we get home you'll be a free man." Jack avoided saying any more on the subject; despite her light tone Jack could tell how the mention of death had affected Sam. It had only been a few months ago that they'd stood and watched Janet die, SG1 hadn't been quite the same since but they'd tried their best. "What's it like to die?" Sam asked out of the blue, turning to look at Jack with a haunted expression. "What do you mean?" Jack deflected, hoping to avoid where this was obviously heading. "Well you did a few times last year, I just wondered what it was like." "It's not really," he shrugged. "Not what?" "It's not like anything," he explained. "Being dead is just like being asleep…you don't realize you are until you wake up." "But you don't wake up," Sam pointed out. "I did." There was a moment more silence, before Jack decided to continue unprompted. "Dying is the only part that really means anything," he told her quietly. "If you're killed instantly then you don't know it's happened. If it's slow then the pain is all it's about…If you die of old age then I guess you could say that life is dying." Sam looked thoughtful, trying to decide whether or not to speak. "My mom used to tell me that when you died you waited in limbo until a new life came along for you, and that everyone you loved would join you in limbo first or in your new life when there was a space for them." Sam smiled sadly. "She said that loving someone made you soul mates, and that all your soul mates would stay with you forever." "That's a nice thought," Jack smiled. "Dad always called it her astral mumbo jumbo," Sam laughed. "But I know that when she died he appreciated the hope." "What about you?" Jack pushed, curious to know more. "I've always found that afterlife stuff hard to believe," Sam shrugged. "But it is a nice thought." Silence fell upon them once more and they both just sat thinking as the minutes and hours began to tick away.

"This wasn't part of the plan," Daniel pointed out to Teal'c as they lay waiting in the undergrowth. "I am aware," Teal'c agreed, silently getting sick of Daniel's repetition on the subject. "Jack must be fuming that all his planning's blown up in his face." "I'm sure O'Neill will just be glad to get home alive." "What do you mean?" Daniel asked, half amused and half confused. "He has been certain that SG1's final mission is a bad omen, he believes that the only way this will end is in his death." "That's ridiculous," Daniel insisted. "We've all survived this long and this bunch of Jaffa probably couldn't hit a stationary elephant from three feet." "There are no elephant here Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him certainly. "Yeah right," Daniel sighed. "Why didn't I realize that?" Teal'c turned to look out in the other direction as a small smile touched his lips. "This wasn't part of the plan," Daniel groaned again. "I am aware," Teal'c agreed, about to continue on to ask Daniel in the nicest possible way to shut the hell up. "You know Teal'c," Daniel beat him to it. "We should probably be quiet for a while." "Indeed," Teal'c raised his eyebrow and continued to keep watch.

Sam watched Jack curiously as he sat staring at his watch. All of a sudden he looked up and caught her eye. "I have put a lot of thought into it you know," he told her without explanation. "In to what?" she asked slowly. "Into what I'm gonna do when this is over." "And?" "We've known each other a long time haven't we?" Jack seemed to change the subject. "Seven years," Sam nodded. "I think you, Daniel and Teal'c are the oldest friends I have left," he revealed. "Yeah me too," she agreed. "We know each other quite well now don't we?" "I think so," she answered wearily, wondering where he was going with this. "It's just that…some when…in the time that I've known you…I guess I kind of…fell for you," he stumbled, looking more and more worried with each word. "Sir," Sam interrupted loudly. "We shouldn't be having this conversation." "Carter…Sam, it's midnight," Jack pointed out. "I'm officially retired." Sam looked at her watch in surprise. "I didn't even notice," she laughed nervously. "Back when you were with that Peter guy, I realized…and well… watching Janet…and I…I'm getting too old to keep waiting for tomorrow," Jack explained at last. "Yeah, I guess realizing our mortality makes this all seem more dangerous," Sam sighed. "Shoot," Jack hissed. "Hang on." He turned away from Sam and began to fumble with something. Watching him Sam could've sworn that he was tying his boots. "Ouch," Jack flinched. "Are you ok?" Sam grimaced, having reached a point where she was way past confused. Jack turned just his head back towards her. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Just give me a…" he held up one finger and turned away again. Sam waited semi patiently until he finally turned back around, one finger in his mouth to stop the bleeding. "Where was I?" He shook his head as if to clear it. "I just don't think that anyone's gonna have quite the same effect on me that you do. And the idea that I might have lost you to…Peter," the other's mans name was laced in dislike. "You'd never have lost me Sir," Sam looked straight into his eyes. "Jack, my friends will always come before any guy, I'd never risk losing all of this." Jack seemed relieved at the comment but didn't answer it, instead moving back to his point. "I've dodged death too many times to have a whole lot of luck left…I don't want my life to end surrounded by regret." "What's the sudden obsession with your own death?" Sam pushed. "I don't think I've ever seen this side of you." "What I'm trying to say," Jack moved from his sitting position so that he was kneeling before her. "Sam, will you marry me?" Sam's mouth fell open as he brought a loop of shoelace out from behind his back. She looked down at the tattered end still attached to his left boot and couldn't help but laugh. Meeting his eyes again just in time to see what little hope he'd had waver she took hold of his hand. "Yes," she whispered. "I'd love to." Jack slipped the shoelace loop onto her left ring finger with a grin and hauled himself back up to sit beside her. "I was hoping you'd say that." Sam didn't reply, she was staring down at the band on her finger, unable to believe that the simple act of the clock striking midnight on a planet millions of miles away had turned their relationship from that of two officers and friends working together to that of two people who were going to spend the rest of their lives together. "This is weird huh?" she spoke at last. "I guess," Jack looked down at her. "A good kind of weird though." Sam turned her face up towards him and he placed a soft, brief yet lingering kiss on her lips. "Cassie's gonna kill me," Jack groaned. "What?" Sam sputtered, laughing louder than she'd intended, wondering how the conversation had moved in such a strange way. "I promised I'd ask you at home, so that she could run in squealing afterwards," Jack shrugged. "She knew?" "Yeah," Jack replied slowly. "You don't mind do you? It's just there was a diamond ring involved and I needed a little help…we'll do that bit when we get home," he smiled. Sam leaned against his shoulder with a contented sigh. "You know I think this may be the best imprisonment experience I've ever had." "Yeah," Jack leaned his head against hers. "But I won't complain when the boys break us out. Daniel won't believe that I asked you while we were in here." "Daniel knew as well?" "Yeah," Jack replied slowly. "I needed someone to tell me that it wasn't gonna blow up in my face…Teal'c helped there too…and Hammond… George, kinda knows too…and I think maybe your dad has suspicions." Sam didn't know quite what to say so she just laughed and closed her eyes. "You never told me why you were so fascinated with your death," she reminded him. "No I didn't did I," he replied simply, leaving it at that. "So?" Sam pressed. "You have to tell me everything now you know, it's part of the deal." Jack looked down at her again. "I guess I just figured it'd be wonderfully ironic of life to kill me right when I could finally have everything I want." "Life does seem to have that sort of sense of humor." Sam agreed. "Get some sleep," Jack suggested. "I'll wake you when it's time to go." Sam settled back into Jack's embrace fully, only too willing to oblige as the day's happiness caught up with her. "Sweet dreams," Jack whispered as she drifted off.

"I think my legs have fallen asleep," Daniel complained after spending more time laid down at the top of the hill than he'd thought possible. "I believe the Jaffa are also getting restless," Teal'c pointed out, knowing that the peace he had been enjoying was shattered. "Jack, come in," Daniel got back on his radio. "Looks like shift change might be coming early." "Just give the word," Jack's voice crackled back a moment later. "We're ready."

"Time to go Sleeping Beauty," Jack whispered, immediately glad that Sam was still asleep when he realized just how corny that had sounded. Leaning down he kissed Sam gently, feeling her regain consciousness beneath him. The second that Sam became aware of her surroundings she almost jumped several feet in the air. The look of total shock on her face at waking to find someone kissing her took a couple of minutes to fade entirely. "You startled me," she breathed heavily. "Sorry," Jack grinned sheepishly, although evidently he wasn't really sorry. "Looks like the cavalry's on their way," he told her. "It's about time." Sam climbed reluctantly to her feet and began stretching the aches of sleep out of her back. Less than two minutes later the door swung open and Daniel was grinning in at them. "Hey kids, did you miss us?" "You certainly took your time," Sam admonished, brushing past him quickly. "Don't call me kid," Jack glared, following Sam's lead. Daniel hovered in the doorway for just a second before quickly following them out of the cellblock. "Your carriage awaits," he announced, gesturing towards two death gliders sitting a few meters away. "These appear to be our best means of escape," Teal'c added, trying to deflect some of Jack's obvious annoyance. Daniel and Teal'c started moving towards one of the death gliders while Sam and Jack climbed into another. "Does this seem just a little too easy to you?" He asked her as they settled into the vehicle. "You mean the simple escape and waiting transport with no one trying to stop us?" Sam tried to sound unconcerned. "This had just better not be the irony catching up with me," Jack sighed, preparing to take off. "You're damn right about that," Sam insisted. "Because if you die before I get my diamond then I won't marry you." "But you will if I die after you get the diamond?" Jack laughed, feeling more at ease in knowing that Sam wasn't worried. "You'll have a better chance," she smiled. "Lets go home." "You thinking of coming any time soon, Jack?" Daniel's voice asked over the airwaves. "Eat my dust," Jack laughed as they rocketed off the ground.

It was hardly any time at all before the stargate was coming into view, the two death gliders traveling smoothly along in the calm air of P5G 224's summer season. "Step on it Teal'c," Daniel insisted. "Life won't be worth living if Jack and Sam get back before us. Teal'c cast back a look that said nothing less then `Humans! Who'd have them?' before he obliged to Daniel's request and sent the glider speeding ahead.

"Did you see that?" Jack hissed, watching as the other glider overtook them. "They are so not getting away with it." Sam braced herself as their glider followed suit, traveling much faster than was necessary but still slower than she knew Jack would like to go.

"Did you feel that?" Daniel asked suddenly as the glider shuddered violently. "Indeed," Teal'c replied, slowing them down as fast as he could. The glider continued to shudder and shake, tossing them around in their seats until Teal'c brought it into an emergency landing, just in time to avoid the right wing falling off while they were still in flight. After the glider had come to a complete stop neither moved for a while, both shaking off the surprise. The stargate was now only fifty feet away so Daniel and Teal'c waited for Sam and Jack to land in front of them. In a matter of seconds later the other glider came into view, spinning wildly in the air, having already lost one of its wings. The two men watching in horror as it slammed into the ground, the roof flying off, before bouncing once and coming to a stop, nothing left but a pile of debris.

"Jack?" Daniel cried out as he and Teal'c ran towards the wreck. "Sam?" "O'Neill?" Teal'c's loud voice boomed to his left. "Major Carter?" Reaching the devastation that was left of the glider it took them only moments to locate the missing half of their team. The sight that met Daniel's eyes told him all he needed to know. The look upon the face of his friend confirmed his fears. Moving his eyes down he saw two fingers pressed desperately against a pulse point. The bloody and battered body of their fourth team member lay twisted on the ground; taking away any possible hope that had remained.

"Oh God Jack," Daniel took a few dangerous steps across the rubble. The sound of Jaffa approaching reached them from over the hill. "We must leave now Daniel Jackson," Teal'c called from the DHD as he began to dial. "Jack we've got to go," Daniel insisted, laying a hand on Jack arm. Jack jumped at the touch as if he'd thought that he and Sam were the only two people in the world. "I can't find her pulse," Jack announced shakily. "Where is it?" Jack moved his fingers slightly still searching. Daniel closed his eyes, biting back tears not only for the lifeless body before him but for the lost soul of his normally so confident best friend. "You know what Jack," Daniel tugged at Jacks arm again. "It's probably just the heat, we'll take her home and then look again ok?" "Home?" Jack mumbled barely sparing Daniel a passing glance. "Yes Jack, back to Earth, we have to go now!" With the precise movements of someone in auto pilot Jack lifted Sam gently off of the rubble and into his arms, cradling her carefully as Daniel steered them over to the gate. As the sounds of the Jaffa got closer the four members of SG1 disappeared through the event horizon and out of sight.

Teal'c was the first to step through the gate earth side. He looked somberly at George, preparing him for some kind of tragedy. Daniel stepped though next, leading Jack by the arm as if he were blind. The medical team waiting at the bottom of the ramp had swept Sam out of Jack's arms before he even registered that they had rematerialized. "Daniel?" Jack seemed to come to life again all of a sudden, looking first into Daniel's eyes and then at Sam as her gurney was rushed from the room. Finally Jack's eyes came to rest on his own uniform, soaked through with Sam's blood to the point where it's original green was barely recognizable. "Report to the infirmary," George ordered, struggling to keep his own voice level at the sight before him. The three remaining members of SG1 walked miserably from the room, each consumed in their own grief.

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, staring at her. The blood had all been washed away, the bruises standing out with unwelcome clarity on her deathly white skin. She looked so fragile, like she was made of porcelain and would shatter at his touch. There was a look of peace on her face that Jack didn't understand, having died so horrifically he thought she should have look terrified. Jack took hold of her left hand lightly, running his thumb over the small shoelace loop that was still in place. "Jack?" I whisper interrupted his study of the ring. "I didn't think it was true." Jack turned his head and met Cassie's eyes as they welled up with tears. She walked slowly to his side, as if any movement at all took more energy than she really had. Reaching out she gently touched Sam's ice cold skin, a sob escaping from her throat. "This can't be happening, not again," she broke down, shaking uncontrollably until Jack pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry Cass," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

They both stood there staring at Sam until Daniel came in and took Cassie away to get something to eat. Jack refused the offer, knowing that he was about to be sent home and needing to say goodbye. "I'm sorry Sam." He sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing the crisp white sheet that covered her equally white body. "I'm sorry I let this happen to you." Unable to watch her in death for any longer Jack climbed to his feet. "I love you," he whispered, placing a delicate kiss against her ice- cold lips as he felt a haunting shiver course down his spine. With that Jack left, leaving behind everything that had defined his life for so many years, unwilling to give thought to what retirement would hold now that Sam had been taken from him.

Jack walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, moving across the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed. His eyes moved unbidden to a photograph of SG1 that held pride of place on his nightstand. Sam's dazzling blue eyes smiled back at him from the image, blissfully unaware of what fate the future held for her. It suddenly hit Jack just how final today had been, she was gone… forever. He'd spent weeks since he'd started planning his retirement preparing for Sam to turn down his proposal. However even if that had been the case she'd have still been in his life, still smiled at him when the team got together, and still been there when things got tough…but this…she was gone…she'd never smile again. Jack felt tears building up behind his eyes but they soon slipped away, he couldn't cry, not yet. "Hello Jack," a soft voice spoke from his side, the eyes he'd never thought he'd see again were smiling at him once more, albeit a sad smile. "You're not here," Jack insisted, although he didn't take his eyes off her. "Aren't I?" Sam smiled. "Ok, if you say so." "Why are you here?" he asked wearily, as if worried that she'd disappear if he started to believe. "I had to come and check you were ok," she told him. "I couldn't bear the thought of you here, alone and blaming yourself." "How do you know I'm blaming myself?" "You always do," she breathed, stepping closer to his and looking so intensely into his eyes that he'd swear she could see his soul. "It wasn't your fault," she insisted so firmly that Jack almost started to believe it. Sam stood up again and started spinning the shoelace ring on her finger. "Janet was excited when I told her," she informed him dreamily. "It's too bad we're gonna have to wait so long." "Wait so long?" Jack was bemused, he'd been sure that death kind of vetoed the whole engaged thing. "Seems my Mom was right," she laughed airily, acting oddly as if death hadn't really had an effect on her, seeming almost happier and lighter because of it. "Everybody's waiting up here and we'll be together again one day." "I'm hallucinating aren't I? Jack concluded. "I must be." "Trust me Jack," Sam pleaded. "I need you to have faith." "You're a figment of my imagination, why should I trust you?" "Trust me because I'm either the woman who loves you or because I'm a part of you that is trying to help you through this, either way I wouldn't lie to you." Jack sighed, looking sadly up at her. "Irony caught up with us Jack, there's nothing we can do now," Sam spoke firmly, sounding almost panicked. "You need to look after Cassie now, and tell Dad that I love him and all that other clichéd garbage that you hate so much." "What about me?" "Just keep holding on," Sam begged. "I may never get to sleep in your arms but I'll be sleeping in your heart forever. Remember me, but don't cry for me, I'm not worth it…I love you Jack." Sam faded from sight before Jack could reply, before he had time to apologize or say goodbye. "I love you too," he sighed, laying back on the bed, suddenly unsure whether Sam had actually been standing in front of him moments ago or not. Jack couldn't be sure that one day soon he wouldn't cry for her but he did know that she was worth it. Suddenly acutely aware that Cassie was sleeping in the next room Jack vowed to Sam's memory that he would keep holding on so that the young woman didn't have to go through this on her own. And somewhere inside he held onto the hope that one day, maybe some time soon, he'd meet Sam once again in limbo and they'd get one over on irony.

The End



End Notes: Feed me?

Samantha

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