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Story Notes: Eye of the Beholder 03: Series: Third in the 'Eye of the Beholder' series. You need to have at least read the second story ('What Hides Within') first.

Spoilers: Previous stories. 'Secrets', 'Meridian', 'Entity', 'In the Line of Duty', '100 Days', general knowledge of seasons 1-5 needed.

Authors Notes: Third story in the series - there will probably be a fourth, a short one to wrap it all up. There *won't* be a fifth unless I get seriously inspired or lose what's left of my insanity.

Thanks to: LilWitchy, beta-reader extraordinaire! Maz the Midwife, my technical advisor! Ruthie, the poor sole I throw ideas at and the one who lets me know if something doesn't make sense! Thank you, guys, you're the best! *hugs*

Thank you also to those who sent feedback on 'What Hides Within' *hugs* It's really appreciated, even if I was called evil once or twice!


He remembered it as though it were yesterday. He kept telling himself he should have noticed something, that he should have sensed a change in her. It was impossible, though, wondering about the past wouldn't change anything.

Jacob Carter lay on his bunk in his room and stared up at the ceiling. It was a nice feeling, he mused, not to be underground, the Tok'ra having decided it would be a welcome change to build their new facilities both underground as well as on the surface. He had managed to distract himself from dwelling too much on his daughter's disappearance by keeping busy getting the Tok'ra reorganised after the split that had cost them more than half of their number. Most of the work was done now and his days and nights were full of thoughts of his daughter.

Where was she? Who was she? He'd gathered from his last visit to Earth, his first and only since her disappearance, that she had been taken over by a Goa'uld. He didn't know which one and the Tok'ra had been kept too busy to investigate the matter properly. They had wondered if they would be safe remaining on the planet she knew was their new base but when a month had passed without any sign of danger, Garshaw and the elders had decided to take the risk and stay rather than waste valuable time searching for somewhere else when their time could be spent elsewhere.

Jacob had repeatedly asked Tok'ra agents who were slowly finding out about the Tok'ra division and getting in touch with their preferred sides if they had heard of any new Goa'uld's making a splash in the area they were based. He had heard reports that a new Goa'uld was on the rise but didn't know whether they were male or female - whoever it was had joined forces with Baal and was using the System Lord's influence to keep their identity unknown to the other Goa'uld, probably to launch a surprise assault. There were two new Goa'uld on the scene, one called Inana and another called Meskhenet. He'd asked for descriptions of them but so far no Tok'ra had seen either of them.

"Jacob." Charlie stood at the entrance to his room, his face flushed and breathing hard. He crossed his hands behind his back and continued breathlessly. "The Stargate has activated. You have a visitor. The Goa'uld Theia is here to speak to you. Jacob.. Her host is Samantha."

On his feet faster than he thought possible, Jacob followed the young Tok'ra to where the Goa'uld was waiting for him, blissfully unaware that she was about to turn his world upside down once again.

=*=
/prologue
=*=

The Stargate engaged and the red lights flashed. Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c sat in the briefing room with General Hammond, waiting for the glimmer of hope to rise up inside of them at the sound of the Stargate activating. It came, but not as strongly as it once did. General Hammond got to his feet and started down the stairs to the control room, a look in the colonel's direction telling him that he should go, too.

Sighing heavily, Jack reluctantly followed the general, grousing in his head over how Teal'c and Daniel had it easy. They didn't have to pretend they weren't bothered by Carter's disappearance; they didn't have to hide their worry or their grief. He barely heard Sergeant Siler announce it was the Tok'ra, he just followed the General down the second set of steps, along the hallway and through the blast doors to the gateroom.

He was following a routine, doing what was expected of him. He was slowly remembering how to shut down his mind and close his heart, something he hadn't done since his son had died. He'd once tried it, when they believed Daniel Jackson was dead, but Teal'c and Carter had refused to let him dwell in self-pity and close himself off to them. No one was stopping him now. Teal'c expressed his concern but he and Daniel were too caught up in their own grief to notice the extent of Jacks, to realise the colonel was hiding something from them. Something that made Carter's disappearance harder to deal with.

"Jacob?" At the sound of the General greeting his old friend, Jack snapped out of the trance he'd fallen into. "It's good to see you. Do you have any news..?"

Jacob gave a nod, his expression solemn. "You could say that." He motioned to his companions, two Tok'ra with a third between them, the latter whom wore a heavy cloak with a hood that concealed their identity. At his gesture, the Tok'ra walked down the ramp towards them, each keeping a hold of the thirds arm. "We know the Goa'uld that's taken her is called Theia. We know she's the one Baal was protecting and we know she betrayed him to side with Anubis."

"How do you know all of that?" Jack took a step forward, his gaze drawn to the hooded figure. "A month ago you swore you knew nothing."

"He knows because I told him." The hooded person shook the two Tok'ra off and reached up to pull back the hood. Samantha Carter surveyed them coldly, folding her arms across her chest in a defiant way. Her blond hair, longer than he remembered, hung in loose curls around her face, her expression showing her obvious distaste at being there. "I came to you asking for a place of refuge, Jacob Carter. I believed you would agree to keep your daughter safe until I am fully strong again. If I had known you would bring us here I would never have come to you."

At the sound of the Goa'uld's voice and the sight of the absentee Major, the SF's in the gateroom readied their weapons and took aim at the source of danger. General Hammond held up a hand to keep them from firing, glancing briefly at Jack before his gaze fell once again on the woman on the ramp.

"She's no threat to you, George," Jacob assured him with a glance at the Goa'uld who had been his daughter. "The Goa'uld is going to take a backseat soon so to speak and she needs your help." To her, he addressed his next comment. "The Tok'ra cannot offer you the degree of protection you need at this time. If you want to be safe from the System Lords you're best bet is to stay here."

Theia snorted derisively and tossed her head, glaring at everyone she looked at. "The Tau'ri may be able to protect me while I rest but you will come to regret this decision when my Lord Anubis returns for me."

Jacob rolled his eyes and sighed, looking to Hammond with what passed as a pleading look. "Can we take this to the briefing room? I think we should all be sitting down when she tells you the whole story."

"If you're sure she isn't a threat?" The General raised a quizzical eyebrow, his gaze fixed on the haughty form of the blond major.

"I promise," Jacob replied wearily. "She's no threat to you and won't be for at least another five or six months."

Accepting the words with a grudging nod, General Hammond motioned for the two Tok'ra and the Goa'uld to proceed down the ramp. Jacob and George led the way, followed by the Tok'ra and Theia, followed by a stunned Jack O'Neill.

Within ten minutes, the group was settled in the briefing room, the security doubled in response to the Goa'uld's presence. Four pairs of curious eyes turned to Jacob Carter and Theia, waiting for their questions to be answered.

=*=

"You know the events leading up to Theia leaving us," Jacob started, darting a glance at his daughter as he spoke, sighing at the bored expression arranging her features. "After leaving us, she went to the old Tok'ra planet and duped Anise and Malek into believing she was one of them. They weren't aware of it but while they were interrogating Sam, the other Tok'ra," calling them Tok'ra left a bad taste in his mouth but Selmac urged him to plough on regardless, "implanted a symbiote in Doctor Fraiser. They acquired the symbiote from a Jaffa they'd killed in battle a few months ago and stored it without telling anyone. It appears the Jaffa was one of Baal's who had defected to Anubis.."

"Do not talk about me as though I am not here," Theia interrupted, her blue eyes flashing defiantly. "I am perfectly capable of letting the Tau'ri know of my history if they wish to hear it. What good it will do is beyond me but if they wish to know what my host has been doing, I will tell them."

Jacob bristled and cast her a glare. "Your host has a name and she hasn't been doing anything. You're the one who made her." His anger was met with an amused smile from the Goa'uld. "If you want to explain, by all means do. But remember she has a name. It wouldn't hurt you to use it."

"Her name is irrelevant. She no longer exists." Theia shrugged carelessly and smiled, pleased she had managed to cause the Tok'ra no little degree of distress. "I let the foolish idiots believe I was one of them for just under a month. They then made the mistake of letting me talk with Osiris, with whom they were trying to strike a deal and form an alliance. I let Osiris know who I was and what my intentions were and he agreed to help me in exchange for my help in deceiving the System Lord Baal. Osiris and I met at an arranged time and I was taken aboard his vessel where I was introduced to Baal."

A devious smile spread across her face and her eyes seemed to linger on Jack for several long, uncomfortable seconds until the colonel found he had to look away.

"Baal was pleased to see me. He harbours a deep resentment for the Tau'ri and told me he would take great pleasure in participating in anything that would cause you distress, Colonel. You made an enemy in him." She smiled again, a coy smile that made him shudder. "Within a week he had accepted me as his lover and consort. He believed I was no threat to him because I had no slaves of my own. It was what Osiris and I were counting on and a mistake I am sure he will regret until his dying day. He shared his slaves and his resources with me as eagerly as he shared his bed. My host charmed him; he did everything I asked of him without question. His Jaffa saw his devotion as a weakness and once I continued his First Prime that his loyalties would be better rewarded if they were to me, destroying him from inside his fleet was easy. Together, we brought him to his knees and conquered his army."

"Is Baal dead?" Daniel wanted to know, ignoring the queasiness he felt at the thought of the Goa'uld using Sam's body to buy her the loyalties of Goa'uld and Jaffa alike. One glance at Jacob proved he wasn't alone in feeling disgusted and he didn't dare look at Jack for fear of what he'd see. "You said you conquered him..?"

Their spared him a discouraging glance, obviously annoyed at the interruption. She wasn't accustomed to people interrupting her, she was usually the one to interrupt them. "As far as I am aware Baal still lives. I stabbed him when he came into my chambers and we sent him to a planet in an escape pod from one of our cargo vessels. I do not know if he survived the landing nor do I care. He is an insufferable being, blinded by beauty and deceived by pretty lies."

"After he was disposed of, Osiris and I divided his fleet," Theia continued, enjoying their reactions immensely. It was all she could do not to laugh when they found out she'd been lover to both Baal and his First Prime, wondering delightedly what their reaction would be like when she continued. "I was then introduced to my Lord Anubis, who requested that I join his forces and merge my fleet with his. Osiris serves him but as his servant. Within another month Anubis was prepared to make me his equal and let me rule alongside him once he defeats the others."

Scepticism and doubt met her claim. "Anubis does not need an equal. He would not need your fleet to become stronger when he is so powerful he could take it from you without hesitation."

"You are right, Jaffa, he does not need me," Theia acknowledged Teal'c with a brisk nod and a small smile, thinking to herself that it was a pity he couldn't be convinced to rejoin the side of the Goa'uld. He would have made her an excellent First Prime and protected her interests in case her lover got bored with her. "But he desires me and wants me. It is my privilege to serve at his side and adhere to his wishes. I appealed to him because of my host's reputation. He invited me to stay with him for a while which I am told is unusual for him. He sent Osiris away and requested my company. I suspected he wanted my hosts knowledge of Earth but after a few days I realised he wanted company as well. Anubis is as you say very powerful. He is also extremely feared. He was attracted to me because I did not fear him and had no qualms about standing up to him in argument. He was amused by that, telling me I had acquired my host's spirit."

"So.. You and Anubis..?" Daniel felt sick even thinking it, unable to bring himself to physically say what was on all of their minds.

Theia gave him a sweet, almost innocent smile. "My Lord Anubis and I are lovers, yes. More than lovers. He is my Lord and now I am his Queen. I will serve him until I draw my last breath."

"So, what, that's three guys in four months?" Unable to hold his tongue any longer, Jack fixed her with an icy stare, forcing himself not to think about her as anything other than a Goa'uld. Forcing himself to forget he could probably add another to her list of conquests. "It's been a busy time for you."

"I have had more lovers in four months than my host had in four years." Theia laughed softly. "And I can assure you that although it has been an enjoyable experience, my host has had very little to do with it. I grew tired of her complaints and taunts so she has remained silenced for most of our time together."

His jaw clenched, Jacob gripped the table until his knuckles turned white. "You won't be able to silence her for much longer."

"For a short time, yes, you're right." Theia let her head tilt to the side in thoughtful acceptance. "But when these months are up and my strength returns I will once again become the dominant conscience in this body. If I were you I would take advantage of having your daughter back with you, Jacob, for once I return and my Lord comes for me you will not see her again. Not unless I am there when Anubis crushes your rebellion and grinds you all to dust."

"Okay, I don't understand what you're talking about so I won't pretend to," Jack cut in, his own hands clenching to fists under the table. "What makes you so sure the snakehead's going to come back for you? He obviously let you wander off on your own.."

The slow smile she gave him made his stomach churn and sent a chill down his spine. "He will come for me because it is what we arranged. Because once his child is born, we will depart and raise it together in his name."

Silence fell over them momentarily following the announcement. Jacob cleared his throat, his eyes sad and troubled when he lifted them from focusing on the table. "She's telling the truth. About being pregnant, anyway. It's why she came to us and why I brought her here. To stop the child from being stillborn, the Goa'uld will have to go into a state of hibernation. It's going to leave Sam vulnerable because she's made quite a lot of enemies and most of them will be eager to get rid of her and the baby to anger Anubis and ruin his plans. Sam's going to need your protection, George." Jacob let his gaze wander from face to face, aware of the pleading expression he wore. "And she's going to need all the help she can get from the rest of you to come to terms with what she's been through."

Almost all of the faces in the room appeared grave and disturbed. Almost all of them. Theia sat there with a smile on her face. She wasn't oblivious to the task that lay before them, she just didn't care. She had the upper hand and knew it, the hidden ace up her sleeve. She knew she couldn't be harmed in her sleeping state and she knew there was nothing they could do to keep her from reawakening once her child was born.

Why should she concern herself with the heartbreak her host would have to face? In a matter of months it would all be nothing but a distant memory to her and Sam Carter would cease to exist once and for all.

=*=

They relocated in the observation room attached to the infirmary without saying more than was necessary. The first meeting between Theia and Doctor Fraiser was tense to say the least. Theia smiled in greeting at her former host, smirking when the Doctor's unease became apparent.

"You look different from this side," Theia told her in amusement, swinging her feet upon the bed obediently. "I think I prefer it this way. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to take this host. She's better than the one I originally planned to use."

Her cryptic comment went without being questioned though Janet did appear uncomfortable for several seconds.

"Do not think you can remove me while I sleep," Theia warned, a lazy smile spreading across her face when she lay down on the bed. "To attempt it by any means will result in the death of my host and that of the child we carry."

"I'll explain the dangers to them," Jacob assured her quietly. "You should sleep now to assure the baby will live."

"Anyone would think that you were eager to be rid of me, Jacob." Theia closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "Don't forget that I gave you your daughter back, even if only for a short while."

Her breathing grew deeper as the seconds ticked by. She barely moved when Janet and her team worked busily around her, attaching her to various machines and devices. The brain waves of the symbiote and host were isolated and they watched as the Goa'uld's gradually grew calmer and more sedate but the worrying thing was that the brain pattern belonging to Sam didn't seem to be gaining in strength or activity at all.

"She may have been suppressed for too long," Selmac theorised, taking over from her host when his grief got too much for him. "Or her conscience may be afraid to assert itself after being surpassed by the dominant presence for so long. Samantha Carter may not wish to rejoin us if the traumas she endured at the hands of the symbiote were too great."

Shocked, Janet stared at the Tok'ra, horrified at the thought of her friend being too scared to live. She remembered her time as a host and failed to repress a shudder, sending a prayer up to whomever was listening, asking them to give her friend the courage and support she needed to wake up and retake what was rightfully hers. "What happens if she doesn't reassert herself?" She asked quietly, not sure whether she wanted to know the answer or not.

"She will remain in a coma-like state until the symbiote retakes control," Selmac answered immediately. "If that should occur we will need to assist in the birthing process."

"The birthing process?" Jack looked from Selmac to Sam and back again. "You mean you're really going to make her keep the baby? You're going to let Anubis have it..?"

"We do not wish Anubis to have the child or force Samantha to continue with her pregnancy if she does not wish for it," Selmac replied calmly, looking away from Sam to stare at the colonel. "However it is not a matter of choice. We cannot harm the child or the Goa'uld will reawaken. We cannot remove or destroy the Goa'uld while she sleeps without killing Samantha and the baby as well. It is a failsafe device if you will, one that protects the mother symbiote. Do anything to harm either one of them and a deadly toxin will be released into the hosts system. There is also the added danger in this case that Anubis is standing guard over Theia. If he does believe this child is his and has plans for it, he will remain close by at all times."

"How is it possible that he will know of Major Carter's whereabouts?" Teal'c asked quietly, doubtful that a false god could have so much power.

The voice that answered him wasn't Selmac's. It wasn't even Jacobs. During the course of the conversation, when everyone's attention was diverted by Selmac, Sam found the strength inside herself to wake up and take her body back under her own control. "He has Asgard technology aboard his ship," she told them dryly, an edge to her voice they weren't expecting when the Goa'uld wasn't in control. "He's modified it so he'll be able to track us wherever we go. So he can easily take us when the baby's born." She turned serious eyes onto her father. Cold, empty eyes that held less emotion than the Goa'uld's had. "I don't care what she said or what you think. I don't care if it kills me, I don't want this baby. I won't give birth to it willingly and you can't stop me from destroying it. I'd rather die before bringing it into the world knowing what kind of life awaits it."

For a long time no one responded to her vow, silently agreeing to discuss the issue another time. No one knew what to say to her or how to start helping her when it became clear the Sam Carter they knew hadn't survived four months of living through her own personal hell.

=*=

It was an interrogation of sorts. Sam sat on the bed in the observation room, her expression blank as question after question was fired at her. She answered what she could as honestly as she could but for some of them, she simply didn't know. She couldn't remember much about her time as a host, and felt for the most part like she'd been trapped in dark corner of a room for four months, deprived of any sort of existence.

"What does Anubis want with the child?" That was her father, having pushed aside his relief at having her back to perform his duties as a Tok'ra elder. "What are his plans?"

"What happened to Osiris? Where is she?" That was Daniel, his mind working overtime to decide if they could take advantage of her Goa'uld's apparent friendship with Osiris to rescue Sarah.

"What of the Tok'ra? How did Theia escape them and join forces with Anubis?" Teal'c, ever the warrior, wanting to know her method of escape in case it could be put to use again in the future.

Janet was too focused on the readings from the machines to ask a question of her own and Jack couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye.

"Is Anubis a threat to us now?" General Hammond wanted to know. "Should we be on high alert?"

In a voice devoid of any emotion, Sam answered their questions one by one to the best of her ability, fixing her gaze straight ahead. "Anubis wants to use the child as a replacement host when it's older. He also wants to see if it's inherited my ability to see the past, present and the future. Osiris has a mission in another part of the galaxy to recruit more slaves to serve Anubis. Anubis isn't a threat to Earth at the moment, he's concentrating on other worlds and other wars. If everything goes smoothly and you don't try to stop him from taking us back he'll spare you for the foreseeable future. He wants to conquer the System Lords and get his revenge on them first and foremost. As for the Tok'ra.." She paused then, her voice faltering. After a second, her eyes hardened and her expression grew blank again. "The Tok'ra are gone. They're not a threat to anyone anymore."

"How do you know they're gone?" Her father kept his voice soft but she still flinched when he reached out to touch her.

She moved her head to look at him, the first signs of emotion creeping onto her face: first fear, then anger, and then guilt. "I know because I destroyed them. She destroyed their planet just as I saw she would. Theia holds most of my memories though she can keep me from knowing hers. She killed them because of what they did, and because she wanted to prove her allegiance to Anubis."

"And she's really his Queen? Anubis really believes your child is his?"

Sam fixed the Tok'ra who spoke with an icy stare that looked uncannily like the one Theia had used on the Tau'ri. "I don't have all of her memories of being with Anubis for which I'm grateful. I can tell you that she means something to him and he has every reason to believe this child could be his. And please do not refer to it as being mine. I had nothing to do with its conception and want nothing to do with its life." Her gaze moved to rest on Janet, the sharpness in her tone dropping down a notch. "I need you to tell me how far along I am so I can determine who the father is and see whether an abortion is still an option open to me."

"You don't believe in abortion," Janet murmured softly before she could stop herself, unable to keep the suspicion from her face. She remembered a conversation they had had a long time ago, when the topic had come up due to another female on base discovering she was pregnant. She remembered how passionately Sam had declared that she wouldn't consider abortion as an option unless it was the best thing to do for the unborn child, unless there was something that would prevent it from having a long and happy life..

"I don't believe in bringing a child into the world if they're going to be used as a tool. Besides, this child isn't mine. It's hers. She wants it, not me." A sad look came into her eyes, a distant look as her hand unconsciously wandered to rest on her mostly flat stomach. "I won't be responsible for giving someone life when I won't be able to make sure it's a good one."

"You can't say that for sure." Janet took a step forward, forgetting about everyone else. She wanted to offer her friend some comfort but was afraid it would be rejected. "You might have a say in its upbringing.."

"I'll be dead either way," Sam retorted bluntly. "If you try to remove the Goa'uld, I'll die. If you don't, I'll still die. The only reason she hasn't made me go away completely is because she needed to use me to get you guys to protect her baby. When she takes control again that'll be it for me. She won't let me continue to live inside this body, she'll make me go away again and I really don't think I'll be able to come back even if she is taken from me further down the line." Her eyes took on a haunted look, her gaze falling to rest on her hands where they lay on her stomach. "You don't know what it's like to be banished so completely. To feel like you don't exist."

She was right, Janet didn't know. None of them did. When she had been host to Theia, she had been aware of everything. She'd heard herself speak, watched herself do things she hadn't wanted to do. The Tok'ra hosts were aware of everything, even when their symbiotes were in control. The Colonel, although an unwilling host, had been host to a Tok'ra. There were times she suspected his symbiote had blocked him from knowing everything that was going on around him but if he had, that had only lasted for a few weeks, not four whole months. He had been tortured in unspeakable ways, though, and Janet couldn't help but hope his own experiences would allow him to help Sam confront her own.

"I think we should let Sam get some rest now, General," Janet spoke up when the silence got too thick. "I'd like to run some tests, too, with your permission, Sam. Just to make sure the baby's okay and that you're.." She stopped herself before she could say the word 'okay.' It was obvious to her that her friend obviously wasn't okay.

"Not a risk to base security?" Sam finished for her with a humourless smile. "That I'm really carrying a baby and not a naquada bomb?"

No one laughed at the sarcastic humour, and only Jacob and the Tok'ra didn't react nervously to the statement.

"We've already performed some tests of our own to verify the pregnancy," one of the Tok'ra started, only to be silenced by three glares.

"We'll leave you to get started," General Hammond said quietly, his attention still drawn to the pregnant young woman. "Keep us informed of your progress."

He ushered the others out of the observation room, noting as he did so the way Colonel O'Neill lingered, his gaze straying to Sam. For the first time, the two of them made eye contact. Jack tried to tell what she was feeling by searching her eyes, disappointed that she gave nothing away.

The Sam Carter he had know was very good at concealing her feelings but this Sam Carter, the one he could feel stare after him when he left, hid everything from his gaze. She wasn't the same person he knew and missed, and part of him knew there was a chance she never would be.

=*=

Two weeks passed and nothing much had changed.

It was like pulling teeth, Janet mused. In most ways, Sam was the perfect patient. She did whatever she was asked to do, sitting quietly while Janet ran test after test and took sample after sample. It was the quiet part that bothered the doctor. Sam clammed right up whenever she asked a question about her time away, either giving a one-word answer or claiming she couldn't remember.

Setting up the equipment for the ultrasound scan, Janet tried encouraging a conversation by bringing her up to date on the activities going on in Cassandra's life but even that failed. Sighing heavily, the doctor instructed Sam to lie down and proceeded with the scan, accepting that it was to be done in silence.

"Looking at the development of the foetus, I'd say you're between sixteen and nineteen weeks pregnant." She looked up from the screen and was pleasantly surprised by the interest on Sam's face. "Does that mean Anubis being the father is out of the question?"

Sam let her eyes meet Janet's fleetingly before darting away. "Theia was with him for just over a month so yes, it puts him out of the picture. It doesn't matter, though, if it's not. He still wants an heir."

"I know you don't remember being with any of them," Janet began cautiously, sitting on the edge of the bed. She knew she had to choose her words carefully and that she couldn't press for information Sam didn't have. It was one thing to be pregnant and not know who the father was, that was upsetting enough. It was another to have no memory of the moment the child was conceived. She wasn't sure how Sam was feeling about it or what she was thinking but what she had been subjected to was a form of rape. Her body may have been willing but her mind, had it been involved, certainly was not. "Do you have any suspicions on who could be the father? Theia apparently told the General and the others that she'd had three lovers. Was she telling the truth or is there a chance there could be someone else..?"

"If I tell you, you'll have to report it to General Hammond and the others won't you?" Sam remained still as the doctor wiped the cold liquid from her stomach but sat up the moment she could. Her gaze fluttered nervously to the glass window looking down on the room, checking there was no one there.

Noticing the direction her gaze went in, Janet gave her a small reassuring smile. "I'm going to recommend to General Hammond that you be moved to the VIP quarters. They're big enough for everything you'll need and you'll also have a little more privacy. We might need to post a SF at the door but it'd be better than confining you in here." She couldn't help but notice the nervous way Sam tried to avoid answering her earlier question. "I don't have to give the General names if you don't want me to."

Sam gave her a nod and continued worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "There's another possibility," she answered with a murmur. "I can't say who but I know there's at least one other possible father."

Seeing the tears shimmering in her eyes, Janet assumed the fourth potential father was someone else she didn't remember fully, someone she wasn't with willingly. It wasn't until after Sam was gone that Janet realised the truth, her heart breaking once again for her friend.

=*= "Due to the advanced stage of the pregnancy, and I use that term loosely,

Sam and I have concluded that Anubis can't be the father. I've tried to make a timeline of sorts to figure out what Theia was getting up to and who with but it's difficult given that Sam's memories if she has any are extremely vague of those times when Theia was involved physically with her lovers." Janet forced herself to remain professional, trying not to think as if it were her best friend they were discussing. "I unfortunately can't get a closer estimate until I've had a chance to monitor the pregnancy over the duration of a month or two to take measurements of the foetus's growth but at this stage I'd estimate Sam to be sixteen to nineteen weeks pregnant." She paused for a second, gathering her thoughts. "There's also a fourth possibility, well, a third now we can eliminate Anubis. I can't say who because I don't know. I'm not sure Sam knows to be perfectly honest but she's adamant there's someone else."

Jack sat up straighter at that, holding his breath. Carter didn't know..? She didn't remember? So when they were together, he had really been with Theia..? Sam hadn't been there and the things she'd said.. Lies? All of it? His short fingernails dug into his palms, slicing through the skin and drawing blood. He had suspected, had worried about it since they found out she was a host but he'd always hoped he was wrong. A chill spread through him on thinking that he wasn't, knowing he'd taken advantage of her. That he was no better than Anubis or Baal.

"That brings me to my recommendations, General," Janet said, unable to keep her voice completely devoid of the concern she felt. "I don't think it's a good idea keeping Sam in the observation room. She deserves to keep her privacy and preserve her dignity, and she can't do that constantly looking over her shoulder to see if there's anyone watching. As her pregnancy progresses, she's going to become more and more uncomfortable. It isn't really fair to expect her to deal with that on top of everything else when she feels like everyone's watching her. I'd like to move her to one of the VIP suites, Sir. If you want to put someone on her door that's fine but personally I don't think it's necessary."

"I'll take your recommendation under advisement, Doctor." General Hammond nodded and crossed his hands on top of the report she'd given him. "What do you make of Major Carter's state of mind? You've said the Goa'uld isn't a threat but you haven't mentioned how this has affected her mentally?"

Janet glanced down briefly, gathering her nerve. "I think Sam's got a long way to go. She's been through so much and half of it she can't remember so she hasn't started facing it. She will have a lot to overcome and to be frank, I don't know how much she can do with the thought of Theia retaking control hanging over her. I've looked through the information the Tok'ra brought and I concur with them attempting to remove the symbiote will be fatal to her at this stage. Our best bet is to wait until the baby's born and then attempt a removal. How long she'll stay with us, though, is anyone's guess."

She took a deep breath and continued, taking special care to meet the eyes of the men at the table, making sure they all knew how serious the matter she was about the share with them was. "Whether she's ready to face it or not, Sam was effectively raped while Theia was in control of her body. She didn't consent to sex with any of the men Theia slept with and that constitutes as sexual assault. She's going to have to accept that, live with it even if she doesn't remember it, and she'll have to accept that she's pregnant as a result not to mention she's still carrying a Goa'uld symbiote inside her. We can't change these circumstances without killing her and I think we can all agree that isn't an option."

"What if it is Major Carter's wish?" Teal'c asked when no one else would. "She has expressed a preference for dying over remaining a prisoner of the symbiote and child she carries. Should we not adhere to those wishes if there is no other option available?"

"You're talking about killing her, Teal'c. As a doctor I can't see that as a viable option. My job is to save lives not to take them away even it is a mercy killing. And as her friend.." Janet had to swallow the lump in her throat, her hands clammy as a voice at the back of her mind questioned her words. Could she really live in good conscience knowing her best friend was living in a nightmare? Knowing she'd had a chance to end it, to keep her from a life of torture? "As her friend I refuse to give up on her. I won't let the Goa'uld take my best friend away from me. We'll find a way to get her back, even if it takes months or years."

"If it takes months or years we will fail." Teal'c pushed his own feelings aside and forced himself to look at the situation from Major Carter's point of view. "The sooner we can release her from the Goa'uld the better her chances of surviving will be. Major Carter herself has stated that she doubts her own ability to return to us once the Goa'uld retakes control. Surely the humane thing would be to assist her in whatever decision she wishes to make."

"She doesn't know what she wants right now, Teal'c." Jack kept his hands palm down on the table, careful to keep his expression neutral. "We've got at least, what, five months before the Goa'uld comes back and Anubis tries to take her. That should be enough time for Carter to think everything through and make up her mind."

Casting him a grateful smile, Janet swallowed the lump in her throat. She was glad the colonel had made an argument against Teal'c's suggestion because she was struggling to justify it in her own mind. She loved Sam, hated to see her suffer but at the same time she didn't want her to die. "I agree, Colonel, that Sam comes to terms with what's happened to her, she can't make up her mind and know she won't regret it."

General Hammond watched the interaction with interest. He, too, was undecided on what to do. He could see both sides of the argument but wasn't prepared to give up on Major Carter. There had to be something they could do, they just needed more time to figure out what it was. Whether his superiors would see it that way was another story. That was one conversation he wasn't looking forward to, telling them the Major was back - and that she was still host to a Goa'uld symbiote.

"Doctor, I'm sure you'll want to get back to Major Carter. If you think it would be best to move her into the VIP quarters today then do so. I would like there to be some form of security on the door, though. For her protection as well as ours." General Hammond rose, clutching the report in his hand. "SG-1 will remain on base for three weeks. I'm sorry, Colonel, I know you don't like being grounded for long but I think it would benefit Major Carter if you were all available for her to talk to. We will discuss the matter when the three-week period is up. You'll probably find yourselves with temporary assignments to other teams on occasion, too. You're all dismissed. Jacob, if you'd like to join me in my office..? I'll need your help explaining the situation to the President and the Joint Chiefs."

With obvious wariness, Jacob got to his feet and followed the General into the office, closing the door securely behind them. He was resigned to knowing his daughter was still his enemy, to knowing that her child - his grandchild - could give the Goa'uld an advantage he couldn't afford them to have. He had to do what he could to stop them from getting the baby but he was afraid that to do so would mean sacrificing his daughter.

Teal'c and Daniel excused themselves, heading to Daniel's office where they could discuss what was best for Sam and work to find another solution. One that wouldn't end in her death. Teal'c also wanted to be there in case the younger man needed someone to talk to, the situation bringing back memories of Sha're the Abydonian woman's pregnancy.

"Doc?" Jack stood and crossed the room to stand in Janet's way, looking every bit as uneasy as he felt. He shuffled his feet, clenching and unclenching his hands at his sides. "Is Carter up for a visitor? I thought she might want to talk about what she went through with Baal with someone who's been there. Sort of."

Janet stood staring at him for several long seconds. Then she smiled in understanding. "Whatever Baal did to her isn't your fault, Colonel. Talking to her about what you went through might help if you're sure you're okay with it. I know it's still hard for you to remember what you went through."

He swallowed hard and gave a curt nod, fixing his gaze just to the left of her. He couldn't meet her eyes, worried what she'd see in his. "If it'll help Carter.."

"I'm sure it will, Sir." Janet gave him a warm smile that made him feel worse for misleading her and turned on her heel. "Maybe you could take her outside for some fresh air. She'll be coupled up inside for too much as it is."

Jack trailed behind her on the way to the infirmary, paying no attention to what was being said but somehow managing to nod and make encouraging sounds at the appropriate times. He wiped his palms on the material of his pans, hesitating outside the blast doors leading into the observation room. He ignored the strange look he got for his troubles from the SFs and motioned for them to let him in.

He wouldn't give into the urge to turn around and walk away. She deserved better than that.

She deserved to know the truth.

=*=

"Hey, Carter." By the time he walked into the room, his nerves had been pushed aside and replaced by the casual mask of indifference he'd perfected over the years. He didn't react visibly when she seemed to ignore him but it increased the cold mass settled inside his stomach. "Doc's going to get you move to a VIP room so I thought I'd come and spring you for a while. You want to go and get some fresh air?"

A one-shouldered shrug was the only response he got. She sat cross-legged on the bed, staring at the observation window. It was like she expected someone to be there, watching them. Maybe making notes on what was said.

He felt like that himself. Like they had to watch what they said - what he said - in case someone overheard and it spread around base like wildfire. "We need to talk, Carter." Jack took a few steps towards her, standing by the bed. He lowered his voice and forced himself to look her in the eye. She deserved to know the truth, to know what he'd done to her. He owed her that much. "About what happened, before you left. After the snake left Doc." He bounced on the soles of his feet, a mass of nervous energy. "I thought it'd be better for us to talk outside. If that's okay. If you'd be more comfortable talking here.."

"No." Sam turned slightly, lifting her head. Her gaze met his but her expression was still guarded. "Outside would be good. We do need to talk."

"Talk. Yeah." He took a step back to give her space to get off the bed. Her hand, he noticed, still lingered over her stomach. "Ah.. Are you okay? You and the baby?"

She moved her hand away from her belly and let it hang at her side. "Janet said it's fine."

"It." The baby. Her baby. The baby where there was a one in three chance he was the father. Jack coughed to muffle the noise of surprise he made at the thought. For a second he felt weak at the knees. God. The baby could be his. "So.. We should go." To cover for his nerves, he walked ahead of her speaking only to assure the SF's and security guards they passed that he didn't need their assistance and could handle Carter himself.

He hoped that was true.

They walked in silent to the spot on the mouth most frequented by the SGC staff. It was a quiet place where they could sit and reflect on everything in peace without fear of being disturbed. Sam settled herself on the grass, shifting until she was comfortable. Jack watched awkwardly and sat down next to her, but keeping a fair amount of distance between them. The last thing he wanted to do was crowd her, especially given the direction their conversation was sure to take.

"So." After five minutes passed, he decided to break the silence. "I have to tell you something, Carter, and I don't know how you're going to react. Well, I know you're going to be angry and upset and you have every right to be but I have to tell you. You're probably going to hate me but you can't hate me anymore than I hate myself right now so I might as well just come out and say it. Carter," he stared down at his hands and paused to catch his breath. "There's-a-chance-I-might-be-the-baby's-father." The words came out in a single breath and he continued in a rush. "I honestly thought it was you. You said things.. Well, she said things I thought you said and it made sense and.."

"And it was me, I did mean it, I don't regret what happened I just regret everything that happened after it and I know you could be the baby's father and that's probably the only reason I haven't tried to get rid of it myself." She stared at him so that when he looked up their eyes met. "I'm sorry if I let you believe that it wasn't me, it was. It was me until I woke up and tried to touch you and couldn't."

The relief that washed over him died at the look that came into her eyes when she spoke. He reached out to touch her, pleased when her fingers curled around his instead of her pulling away.

"I didn't realise what was going on. I was scared, I tried to talk to you to let you know there was something wrong but the words got stuck in my throat. She made me get up and go into the bathroom and she looked at me in the mirror. She.. She stared at me like I was a dress she was trying on for size. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. My hearing started to go and then I saw my eyes flash.." She shivered and moved closer, for warmth or comfort he couldn't tell. Both he gave to her willingly. "That was the last thing I knew until I woke up in the observation room. I don't know what she did to me but it was like being back in the computer system. That's exactly what it was like, it reminds me of when the entity put my conscience in the SGC mainframe. There was nothing. Absolutely silence. I couldn't hear, couldn't see. It was like I lost all of my senses and the only thing working was my mind."

His arm went around her shoulders, drawing her closer. For a moment it felt as though no time had passed and it was the day after their relationship had taken a step forward. "Do you remember anything after that? You obviously know some things the snake does or you wouldn't have been able to answer the questions you were asked.."

"I know bits and pieces. I have some of her memories but only the ones she let me have." Sam leant her head on his shoulder. She didn't understand what it was about him that made her feel safe instead of confused. Now that they were alone and out of the SGC, her head was clearing and she was able to forget about the Goa'uld she carried, if only for a while. The baby, she couldn't forget about. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it but she thought she could feel something move inside her - a faint fluttering, like she had a serious case of butterflies. "I don't remember being with Baal or Anubis or the other one. I just know she was with them, that she enjoyed it."

Jack tensed and pressed a kiss to her head. "Don't think about it, Sam. You don't have to.."

"But I do. I can't stop thinking about it." She drew back and gazed at him with round blue eyes, letting him see the confusion and the anger she felt. "I'm having a baby, Jack, and I know this is going to sound stupid because of everything I told you that night about wanting kids but I don't know if I do want this one. I don't know if I can love it, even if I do get the chance and Theia somehow leaves the picture. How can I love something that's the result of my body being used against my will?" Tears shimmered in those blue depths and his chest started to ache. "It makes me sound horrible - what kind of Mom will I make if I don't know if I want the baby I'm having? If I don't know if I can love it?"

"You're being too hard on yourself. You've got to give yourself time to get used to the idea of being pregnant, you've got to accept what's happened." He gave her fingers a squeeze and reached up with his other hand to touch her face. "Forget about everything else for now. Forget about Anubis and Theia, we'll deal with them together when we have to. You need to get used to being back and being pregnant.."

"It's harder than I thought it'd be," she mumbled, leaning into his touch. "It's weird being able to see and hear and smell." Inching closer, she brought her hands up to cup his face, her fingers trailing over his lips. "And touch and taste."

One or both of them moved in. Their lips met in a soft, undemanding kiss that stole a sigh from her. Repeating the contact, Sam let her hands move and explore, revelling in the feel of his skin and clothes beneath her hands. The kiss deepened and at first everything was fine, better than fine..

..Then a face filled her mind and she pushed him away, the colour that had risen in her cheeks fading rapidly. She swallowed hard, staring at him in shock and horror.

"Sam?" Jack forced his hands to stay at his sides, his heart dropping to his stomach at the expression on her face. "Carter, what is it? What's wrong?"

She shook her head wordlessly and jumped to her feet, making it a few metres away before emptying the contents of her stomach behind a rock. Against his better judgement, he followed, lightly resting a hand on her back as she wiped her mouth and gathered her composure. A few minutes later she turned to face him, her face white and her eyes wide. "I saw Baal, Jack. I remember.. I saw.." Her throat closed up, her voice thick with distress. "I saw them together. I saw me, I saw it all."

=*=

Doctor Fraiser spent almost an hour running test after test, asking question after question. Sam sat quietly on the bed in the infirmary, waiting for the results in a detached manner. She did what she was told, answered what questions she could but Jack could feel her pull away from them as time passed by. She wouldn't look anyone directly in the eye and tensed whenever they went near her.

"I don't think you're remembering it, Sam," Janet said finally, glancing up from the notes she was reading. "Your blood pressure and heart rate are exactly the same as they were when you had your first vision." She smiled a small, sympathetic smile, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, honey. There's nothing I can do to stop it from happening again. Maybe if we isolated what you were doing when it occurred, we can prevent another one by avoiding.."

"No." Sam shook her head, her eyes moving briefly to Jack just in time to see the guilty flush rise in his cheeks. "If I have any more it's because I'm meant to see them. I have to know. How can I get over it when I don't remember? I need to know what happened, how it happened. I can't put it behind me if I'm always wondering about it and if I'm afraid to do something in case I see it again."

"Do you want to talk about it, Sam? About what you saw?" Janet laid a hand on her arm, hoping the surprises would stop soon. She didn't know how much more any of them could take. Colonel O'Neill, she noticed, still looked as shaken as he had done when he brought Sam back to the infirmary.

"Not right now, thank you." The strength it took to smile was almost all she had left. "I'm tired, I feel like I could sleep for a week."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Janet had to smile - especially when she noticed where her friend's hand was resting. "You'll find you use up your energy a lot faster than normal over the next few months. And I want you to make sure you eat properly and get plenty of rest, okay? This pregnancy might be harder than a normal one because of the circumstances but you have to try not to let it upset you. It's not good for you or the baby."

"I'll be a good girl, I promise." Sam managed to roll her eyes, knowing they were worried about her and hating it. In truth, she was worried about herself but she wouldn't let them know that. They all had enough on their minds; they didn't need any more of her problems to deal with. "Is it okay if I got to the VIP quarters or do you want me to stay here?"

"You can go to your room. I had some of your things from your quarters moved in so you should be comfortable." Janet helped her get off the bed and gave her an impulsive hug, pleased when Sam returned it after tensing a second. "I'll have someone bring you something to eat. GO and get some sleep and let me know if there's anything you're worried about."

"I will." Relieved to be leaving, needing some time on her own, Sam left without saying anything else but the look she shared with Jack said all she couldn't. She didn't blame him, didn't regret anything but she needed to be alone for a while. She needed to think, to remember, to put her thoughts in some sort of order.

"Colonel." Janet stopped him before he could leave, giving him a quick smile of assurance. "I just wanted to say thank you. Whatever you and Sam talked about looks like it helped. She's handling this is a lot better than I thought she would."

"No problem, doc." Jack forced himself to return her smile, pushing aside the guilt he felt. If only she knew. "Anything to help."

He left before she could ask him anything else, like what they'd been talking about and what had happened before her vision had happened. He paused when he got outside, debating with himself where to go. Carter needed space, he knew that. He also knew he wanted to make sure she wasn't pretending she was fine.

'Later,' he told himself, walking in the opposite direction. He would check on her later. In the meantime he'd go and update Daniel and Teal'c on what happened and then he'd think about going to see Carter afterwards.

If she still wanted to see him.

=*=

Daniel insisted that Jack get some sleep after he told them of the afternoon's events. "It's been a long day," he told him sensibly. "For all of us. Sam needs some sleep and so do you." So Jack gave in and went to his quarters instead of hers, intending to go to her first thing in the morning and make sure she was okay.

Daniel, he found, was there already.

"Hey, Jack," the archaeologist stood when he knocked on the door. "I was just telling Sam Teal'c's gone to see Rya'c. General Hammond authorised it this morning. I'm going out with SG-9 for a few days so I thought I'd say goodbye. They need my help with the Incaterans.."

"Cool. Bring us back a souvenir." Jack watched as Daniel lingered, giving Sam a hug and sharing a look with her that he didn't understand. "Take Care, Daniel. Make sure you come back in one piece," he called after his friend when Daniel made a hasty exit. Now alone, he leaned against the doorframe, an eyebrow raised in question. "Everything okay?"

"As okay as it can be." The look she gave him was thoughtful. "Daniel was telling me about Sha're, about what it was like when she was pregnant with Apophis' child. I asked him how soon the Goa'uld took over after the baby was born."

"What was the answer?" He watched her stand and walk over to him, thinking to himself how little she'd changed physically. If it wasn't for the slightly longer hair and slightly rounder stomach, he might have been able to fool himself into thinking the last four months had existed only in his head, created by his imagination.

"Not one I wanted to hear," she answered honestly, a rueful look on her face. "Daniel said it took over immediately, that she took over before the baby was fully born. He also said she went into labour when the Goa'uld ship landed so.. I think nearer the time I'll suggest to General Hammond that he send me through the Stargate to a quieter place. Somewhere Anubis can make his presence known without causing too much alarm when he comes for me." She shrugged her shoulders casually. "I'm not worried about him doing something but I think I'd feel better if I was somewhere else when it happened."

He stared at her in silence for several seconds. "You're giving up? You're going to let the snake take you back?"

"I won't have a choice in the matter. She can't be removed until after I give birth and then it'll be too late. I'm.. strangely okay with that. On one condition, anyway." She gazed up at him with a look in her eyes he didn't like. "I don't want them to have the baby, Jack. I'm not saying I expect you to step in and raise it, especially since you might not be the father. I'm going to ask Janet if she'd mind adopting it and if she can't, I'll ask General Hammond to find parents who will. I don't want Theia to have this baby. Not my baby, not when she wants it so much."

She walked passed him, out into the hallway, her hands resting on her belly. "Your baby?" He asked when he caught up, throwing her a sidelong glance. "It's your baby now? Yesterday.."

"I felt it move, Jack," she told him in a whisper, her face lit up by a soft smile. "I wasn't sure at first, it's not much, but I felt my baby move inside me and it was incredible."

"Better than going through the Stargate for the first time?" He followed her into the elevator, pleased to see a genuine smile on her face but worried it wasn't as real as it seemed.

"Better," she confirmed quietly, pressing the button. "Much better." As if noticing he was with her for the first time, she raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Have you already eaten or do you want to join me for breakfast?"

"Are you sure you want to go to the commissary? I mean, everyone's bound to know by now.." He saw the challenging look on her face and hid a grin. "Right."

Sam squared her shoulders as the elevator doors swung open. "I have to face everyone at some point. The next five months might be all I have left and I'll be damned if I spend them locked in my room like I've done something wrong."

"Lead the way, Carter." He ignored part of her answer, deciding there'd be time to tackle her permission another time. "And Carter?"

"Yeah?" Pausing outside of the commissary doors, Sam let out the breath she was holding and turned to him expectantly, partly relieved at the minor distraction.

"I want to be a part of the baby's life whether I'm its father or not." Jack kept his voice low so only she could hear it, despite having checked to see if there was anyone else around. "And I think we should tell Doc that there's a possibility."

"Okay." Sam managed a weak smile something inside her aching at the thought of her friends being involved in the baby's life without her. *Her* baby. "I'll tell her, just give me a while to figure out what I'm going to say. She won't approve, you know."

"Yeah," he gave her a depreciative grin. "I got that impression. If you want we can tell her together. Maybe try and explain..?"

"I'll think about it, thank you." She glanced at the doors again, the ball of nerves in the pit of her stomach expanding a little more. "Here goes nothing."

Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door, ignoring the slight hush that descended over the room's occupants when they saw her. Holding her head up high, taking comfort in the knowledge Jack was behind her, Sam took another step in, determined not to let the Goa'uld inside her claim another victory.

It was taking her child, her life..

She wouldn't let it take her last months on Earth, too.

=*=

Just over a month had passed and her condition became impossible to ignore. Sam was feeling the side effects but didn't complain about them. In fact, she didn't say much at all. She grew increasingly distant, preferring to spend more and more time in her quarters despite her claim six weeks earlier that she wouldn't let the Goa'uld take any more time from her.

The truth was she wasn't coping as well as she pretended to be. During the day she'd lie on her bed, her hand resting on her stomach. She'd close her eyes and imagine what her baby would look like, imagine the life it would lead if it stayed out her friends and the life it would lead if she - Theia - took it with her to live with Anubis. Imagining was enough; she didn't need to know so when she felt a vision start to take over, she forced her eyes open and pushed it away.

Neither life was one she would have ideally chosen for her only child.

She didn't want her baby growing up without her; she didn't want it growing up with someone else as its mother. Even if that person was her best friend. It was the best option for the baby, though, especially if it was harcesis or otherwise affected by its mother being a Goa'uld. There was no one Sam would trust more to ensure her baby was well cared for but there was still a part of her, a big part of her, that begrudged her friend the chance of raising her child. It was hers, damn it. If anyone should be there to love it and care for it and teach it, it should be her.

But it couldn't be.

She could let Theia take the baby but she would only be a physical shell. The Goa'uld would be in control, Theia would be raising her baby - she wanted and loved the child as her own anyway. Sam would be pushed back into that awful place where there was nothing but her own thoughts for company and eventually she'd disappear. Either that or she'd go mad and neither of these options appealed to her.

At night she would lie awake, her thoughts of the future too depressing to let go of even to sleep. And if she did sleep, the nightmares came and it was inevitable that she would wake up shivering and either have to dash to the en suite to throw up or she'd burst into tears and wouldn't be able to get warm for the rest of the night.

It was an endless cycle, one that wore her out more than her pregnancy could. She avoided spending too much time with anyone because there was only so long she could keep up the act of being fine. Janet was concerned about her - and with good reason. She wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating enough and what she did manage to eat she usually lost a few hours later. She hadn't talked to anyone about what she remembered, despite her promises that she would when she was ready. She doubted she'd ever be ready to share what she knew with anyone. The shame, the pain, the anger.. It was better she kept them to herself.

In less than five months she wouldn't have to worry about it. All of her worries would be over. Life as she knew it would be over. Theia would have her own worries; she would have to make sure Anubis didn't tire of her. She'd have to make sure he still wanted her and wasn't using her for the baby.

It all came back to the baby.

A spiteful smile graced her lips as she lay down, thinking how it would serve the Goa'uld right if Anubis spurned her. If she was abandoned or even killed because she didn't go back with the baby.. So be it. If Sam couldn't have her life, if she couldn't live how she wanted.. There was no point in having a life at all.

With those thoughts in mind, Sam let herself fall into what she hoped was a restful sleep.

=*=

The frown on her face seemed to be a permanent feature over the last few weeks. Janet stared down at the numbers on the piece of paper in front of her, sighing in frustration when the type blurred and swam on the page. "What are you doing, Sam?" She asked, not expecting the empty office to give her an answer. "You're only making it worse."

"Is this a bad time?" The voice took her by surprise and she jumped, turning to fix the culprit with a glare. "Sorry. I didn't mean.." Jack shuffled his feet, his hands in his pockets and his expression sheepish. "I can come back later.."

Her mood softened at the lost look in his eyes. He was taking Sam's behaviour harder than anyone of them and even though he was good at hiding it, she could see it wearing him down. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I'm just distracted.. What can I do for you?"

If anything, her apology made him even more nervous. Jack shut the door and walked to the filling cabinet, leaning against it in what he hoped was a casual gesture. "Have you talked to Carter recently?" He asked quietly, deciding not to waste time but knowing he'd have to tread carefully. Janet was one of Carter's closest friends, her only close female friend that he knew of. He wouldn't do anything that might jeopardise their friendship.

"If you mean besides getting one word answers every time I ask her something then no, I haven't." Janet leaned back in her chair, surveying him through doctor's eyes. He'd lost weight, she realised, and there were bags under his eyes. "Have you had any luck? Daniel told me he tried before your last mission but she brushed him off with a smile saying she was fine."

"She's avoiding me." The words were accompanied by a shrug but the hurt in his voice was unmistakable. "Probably because of why I'm here." Janet lifted an eyebrow at that, motioning to the other chair with her hand. "I think you're probably going to want a seat for this conversation, Colonel."

"Yeah, I think I will." His palms already sweating, Jack sat down gratefully, his legs starting to feel weak. "I suppose I should just come out and say it." He wiped his hands on his pants, unable to meet her gaze. He took a deep breath and let the words tumble out when he exhaled. "There's a chance Carter's baby might be mine."

She blinked twice and opened her mouth. Then she closed it and opened it again. "Oh. I see." The frown on her face reappeared, showing her disapproval.

"It's not like it sounds," he started at her imploringly, talking quickly. "Carter was.. still her. Or that's what she said, anyway. It was just after the snake left you and jumped into her but she said it didn't take over till she woke up.. afterwards. It was just the one night but if it wasn't for the snake.. It's not like we didn't talk about it. We talked and decided it was the right thing to do, we didn't just jump into bed for the sake of it the second we realised there was an attraction between us.."

"I know you didn't, Sir." Janet sighed softly and gave him a strained smile. "I know both of you well enough to realise you wouldn't jeopardise your careers for sex. And I know you've had feelings for each other for a while now.. Sam didn't - doesn't - talk about it much but I know she cares about you. A lot." The glance she gave him at that was full of meaning - they both knew that for Sam Carter to have admitted she cared about him was a huge step for someone so afraid of opening herself up to the possibility of being hurt. "In a way," Janet continued with another sigh, "I'm pleased. Knowing there's a chance her baby might be yours is probably one of the only reasons Sam hasn't tried harming it herself. But that's not to say I approve," she added quickly. "You both risked your careers, Sam especially.."

"Careers aren't everything and neither of us intended on it being a one night thing," Jack responded with a calmness he didn't feel. "Our careers can't make us happy, can't substitute for other things forever.."

"Other things like sex? A warm body to lie next to at night?" She asked sharply, a look thrown in his direction. "You both can get that elsewhere.."

"Like being with someone you care about. Being able to talk about everything including the classified stuff.." He swallowed hard and looked away as he continued. "Like loving someone and being loved back. Having someone to go home with, to share everything with.."

"You love her." Janet clarified, her eyes widening only a little. She'd long since suspected the two officers held deeper feelings for each other than she'd been privy to but she never expected to have either of them confirm it. He made no move to deny the statement, he just met her gaze and said nothing, letting her see for herself if it was true or not. "Has she talked to you at all about what was done to her, Colonel? About Baal and Anubis?"

Jack nodded, relieved at the slight change in conversation. "A little. She said she couldn't remember for the most part. The snake apparently kept her suppressed for all of it. She said it was like when that thing took her body and put her in the computers. She couldn't feel or see or hear anything but she somehow knew things. She knew the snake was telling the truth when it said she was with those guys and she knows other stuff about Anubis' reasons for wanting the kid but she doesn't know how or why she knows." He looked as defeated as the doctor felt. "Since she remembered being with Baal or had a vision of it or whatever it was, she hasn't really talked to me at all. She promised she'd tell you about the baby and me but since she obviously hasn't done that she's probably avoiding me.."

"She's avoiding a lot of things and has been for too long." Her expression hardened, her determination solidifying. "Colonel, I think we should go and talk to her together. We can't let her keep thinking she's fooled us all into thinking she's fine."

"When?" It wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to but it was one they had to have. For his sanity as well as Carter's welfare.

Janet got to her feet, her shoulders tense with stubbornness. "There's no time like the present."

He had no choice but to follow her, dragging his feet as they left her office. Ordinarily, Jack would have no problem matching her stride for stride, overtaking her, but today was different. While she was driven on by determination, he was held back by trepidation. He knew she was right, he knew they couldn't let Carter continue to distance herself from them but he also knew Carter. He knew she didn't like to be pushed when she wasn't ready. She didn't like to be backed into a corner.

And that was exactly what they were about to do.

=*=

The knock on the door wasn't unexpected but it wasn't exactly welcome. Sam couldn't motivate herself to move, so settled for calling out to whoever it was that the door was open. Her eyes remained closed, her hand stayed on her stomach waiting for the baby inside to move again and remind her of the mess she was in.

"I'm fine," she muttered when the door closed again. "I'm not hungry, I'm getting as much sleep as I can and I don't want to talk about it."

"You might not want to talk about it but you need to." Janet sat down on the edge of the bed. "You could always start with why you haven't told me your baby could also be Colonel O'Neill's despite having promised him you would."

"It's irrelevant," Sam replied, keeping her eyes firmly closed. She knew the doctor wasn't alone. She could sense the Colonel's presence even though she inwardly cringed at the thought. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't get close to him or let him get close to her. It wouldn't be fair on him. Not when she knew she had to leave again.

"I don't see how." Her voice taking on an edge of frustration, Janet leaned over and put her hand on top of Sam's where it lay on her stomach, ignoring the way her friend flinched. "There's a life growing inside you, Sam. A life you're responsible for whether you like it or not. You're being incredibly selfish by refusing to think about it.."

"Refusing to think about it? It's *all* I think about! I'm having a baby that isn't really mine! Do you know how that feels for the person carrying it inside them? The one who can feel its every move?" Sam's eyes flew open and sparks shot out of them. Anger she clung onto in place of despair. "There are two lives inside of me in case you've forgotten. I really don't want to hurt the baby but since the other's the Goa'uld that's responsible for all of this I'd really really like to do something to hurt it."

"But you can't. Hurting the Goa'uld means hurting yourself and your baby." Janet curled her fingers around her friends, giving them a small squeeze. "But you're not as alone as you think, Sam. You're not the only one going through hell here. You're not the only one wondering if the baby inside you is yours.."

"With all due respect to Colonel O'Neill, he can't feel it moving. He doesn't know what it's like to fall in love with it knowing he won't get to see it grow up." Tears stung her eyes but she resolutely refused to let them fall. "Neither of you know what that's like because you'll be the ones there watching my baby grow up. You'll get to go through everything I want to and can't and I hate that. I hate the Goa'uld inside me for making it that way and I hate you for being able to be there when I can't."

At that, Janet did pull back, her features arranged in an expression of shock - one that was mirrored on the face that looked back at her. "You're angry with us?"

Surprised at her own outburst, Sam looked away, her arms wrapping around her stomach in an unconsciously protective gesture. "Why shouldn't I be? You all keep telling me everything's going to be okay when it's not going to be okay for me. It never will be okay again. You guys might be able to put this behind you and move on with your lives but I can't. This is my life now. Trapped by a Goa'uld in my own body, knowing my baby's going to grow up with someone who isn't me. Knowing she's either going to help destroy this planet or that I'm going to die when you stop her."

"You can't talk like that, Sam. You don't know for sure she's going to be there forever.." Janet stopped, knowing her words were weak and were quite possibly lies.

"You can't tell me I'm not going to be like this forever. You can't tell me you're going to be able to save me at the midnight hour because this time you're not. You can't. No one can. Either just before I give birth or just afterwards, Anubis is going to come for me and no one is powerful enough to stop that from happening. You have to face it, Janet. I have. The baby will be born. Theia will take over. Either she'll raise my baby or you will and I have to be honest and say I don't like either of those options."

Hurt by the words even though she understood them, Janet lapsed into silence. She glanced up at the silent colonel, willing him to jump in.

Willing him to tell her Sam was wrong.

"It's okay for you to be angry and scared, Carter." Jack spoke after several long moments, forcing himself to ignore the doctor sitting in a state of shock and focus on the other woman struggling to hold it together. It wasn't hard considering she had been the prominent feature in his thoughts for so long. "I won't lie to you and say I'm not as angry as hell and pissed off that we can't do anything at the moment. I won't say I'm not scared about losing you again because I am."

"I don't want to hear this, Jack." Her eyes locked with his, the shimmering in them telling him all he needed to know: he was getting through to her and she was trying to stop him. Using his name was a plea, an attempt at using what control she and his feelings for her had over him.

He wouldn't let it work.

Instead, he moved over to the bed, barely noticing when Janet stood up and walked away to make room for him. He sat down, reaching out to take her arms, moving them from her stomach and putting his hand there instead. "I know you don't want to hear it but that's why I'm saying it. You can't push us away, Sam. You can't push me away. I'm not going to let you just in case the next few months are the only ones we have left. You told me it was you that night, that you meant everything you said. Has anything changed between then and now?"

Trapped by his gaze and warmed by the weight of his hand on her stomach, Sam couldn't lie. "What I feel is still the same, it's the situation that's changed."

"Then we need to make the most of it and we need to keep being positive about what's going to happen or I don't know how either of us going to get through the next few months let alone whatever happens after that." He moved further up the bed, reaching out for her and drawing her into his arms. She put up a token protest but relaxed against him when one tear escaped her eye. "We're not going to lose you to Anubis forever. We'll come after you straight and do whatever it takes to get you back and get the snake out of you. Then you'll come home and we'll face the music but whatever happens with our careers will be easier to deal with because we'll have a baby to take care of. Our baby. We'll raise it together, Sam. You and me, with a little help from Doc and the guys."

"I want to believe you but I can't." Sam turned her head against him, burying her face in his shoulder. "I can't let go of everything that's happened to me so I can't believe that something good can come out of it."

"To let go you're going to have to talk about it." Jack looked up and saw the doctor's grudging nod of approval, knowing she could never support the risk he and Carter we taking with their careers but knowing she couldn't completely condemn it either. "Talk to us, Sam. Tell us what you remember and we can help you get through it."

Sam was unconvinced but the loneliness she had felt for the last month was beginning to abate the longer she was in his arms. Did she really want her bitterness to consume what were her last months with her friends? No. Did she want to hurt them again when she disappeared? No. But which was worse, hurting them by leaving after getting close again or hurting them by being with them and not letting them help?

Taking a deep breath, Sam closed her eyes and opened her mouth, preparing to share all she knew.

=*=

It took two hours for her to tell them everything. Two hours of tears and anger, shame and guilt. Sam let it all pour out of her, explaining how helpless she felt at knowing what had happened to her and being unable to stop it. It took Jack and Janet almost an hour to assure her there was nothing she could have done, no way she could have fought back because she wasn't really there. She felt as if she'd let them down by being weak because she hadn't done anything in her visions to stop Baal or his Jaffa or Anubis from doing those things to her. In fact, she'd appeared to enjoy it.

The line was thoroughly blurred and Sam sometimes forgot it was Theia who was in control at the time. Theia was the one who had enjoyed it. She was the one who had let them touch and kiss her. She was the one Sam saw with Baal and the others; she was the one who took them as her lovers.

Sam wasn't involved. Her body was but everything else that made her who she was hadn't been involved in any of it. Her heart, her mind, her soul.. Sam herself wasn't there and if it wasn't for the fact she was pregnant, she might have been able to accept that.

But being pregnant was having proof, having evidence that couldn't be pushed away like a nightmare was banished in the morning. It was evidence that although she wasn't there in mind, she had been there physically.

Eventually, after crying and shouting and letting go of the anger and the fear, Sam collapsed into an exhausted heap. She fell asleep in the safety of Jack's arms, letting her defences slip down. They wouldn't let anything bad happen to her while she slept and she knew one or both of them would be there when she woke up.

"I don't know what to say," Janet spoke up, keeping her voice quiet. She let her head rest in her hands, closing her eyes with a weary sigh. "How do we start helping her through this?"

"We already have." Jack kept his voice soft, tightening his arms around the woman he held when she stirred slightly. "We let her talk about it, make sure she doesn't try keeping anything from us again and we keep telling her she couldn't have done anything differently. She needs to know it wasn't her. If we get her to keep blaming the Goa'uld, she'll be able to stop blaming herself and hopefully in time we can put it behind us."

"What if we don't have enough time?" Janet couldn't help herself from being pessimistic. She wanted to be positive so she could help but she didn't know if she could - how could she be optimistic when it seemed so pointless? There was nothing they could do to stop Anubis from taking Sam, nothing they could do to stop it from happening all over again..

"There's plenty of time." He met her eyes, his voice hard. "Anubis might come and take her but he won't have her for long. We'll get her back and then we'll have all the time we need to get her through this. We'll all get through it."

The words were bravely spoken and she wanted desperately to believe them. For his sake, Janet forced a smile when she got to her feet. "Of course we will." She moved to the door, glancing back at him only to find he'd closed his eyes and was on his way to falling asleep. "I hope we do," she murmured to herself, slipping out of the room and giving the SF outside a look that said not to ask questions and not to disturb the couple inside.

She walked slowly through the hallways of the SGC, nodding distractedly at the people she passed. Her mind was on other things. Her mind was on Sam. It wasn't fair, she ranted silently, that someone so nice could go through something so bad. It wasn't fair that the chance to have a normal life was snatched from her again and although she didn't approve one hundred percent, it wasn't fair that her friend had finally opened herself up to the possibility of finding happiness regardless of the pain that could await her at its end only to have the chance to discover it cruelly taken from her.

It was those thoughts in mind that Janet shut the door to her office and locked it, sliding down to the floor as silent tears fell from her eyes.

=*=

Daniel and Teal'c were told everything she remembered at Sam's request. She was unable to go through it all again herself partly because she didn't want to and partly because Janet had advised against it. The doctor didn't want Sam exhausting herself again and had ordered her friend to get plenty of rest, eat properly and avoid putting herself under any further stress. So Jack and Doctor Fraiser had been the ones to sit with Teal'c, Daniel and General Hammond, taking it in turns to tell them what Sam had shared, omitting any details about the development in the Major's relationship with Colonel O'Neill by silent agreement.

Teal'c and Daniel decided after the debriefing that they needed to show Sam their support so with the approval of Janet and Jack, they went to her quarters and asked if they could talk to her for a while.

"I was wondering if you'd come and see me." Sam took a step to the side and let them pass. She closed the door behind them and turned with a shy, unsure smile. "I know Janet and Jack were going to tell you everything. I guess they have already?"

"Yeah.. Jack?" Daniel shot her a questioning glance as she sat down in one of the chairs. He made a mental note of the oversized shirt she was wearing, recognising it as one of the Colonels.

"It seems pointless calling him anything else considering the circumstances." Sam eased herself down onto the bed, one hand going to her back. "I'm hardly an example of the perfect Air Force officer at the moment." She gave them a small shrug, side-stepping the question easily. It was up to Jack to tell them the truth. She wanted them to know but it would mean more to Jack if he could tell them himself, whether or not she was there when he did. She glanced at Teal'c, giving the Jaffa a small smile when he raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about? Any questions..?"

The two men looked at each other and exchanged an uncomfortable glance. It was Teal'c who eventually spoke, standing with his hands behind his back. "We came to see if you were well, Major Carter, and to assure you that we will do all we can to see vengeance for what you have been subjected to."

"Thank you, Teal'c. I'm honestly okay at the moment. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time." She moved her hand from her back to her stomach, a line marring the smoothness of her brow at the strange movements her baby made. It was almost as if the baby was agitated, as if it knew something was wrong. "I wish the same could be said for this one but he or she's been very active this morning."

"Sam." Daniel grasped his hands together, watching her carefully. He had been troubled since she turned him away four days ago and suspected there was more going on that she'd admitted. "I have to know.. Why did you push us away? You should've known we wouldn't think less of you because of what happened.."

"Rationally I know that. But it was hard, separating Theia from myself. But for the two of you, it was more. I didn't want to hurt you, Daniel, by reminding you of Sha're. She went through this. Maybe not in exactly the same way but very similar. And you, Teal'c," she looked at him again, her eyes asking for understanding. "I represent everything you hate in the world. I still have a living Goa'uld inside of me, one who has an army of your people enslaved. Whether any of us like to think about it or not, I am still a Goa'uld. I'm the enemy."

"You will not always be so." Teal'c assured her, his hands clenching behind his back. "And you, Major Carter, are the host not the Goa'uld. You are the innocent party. The Goa'uld inside you is the enemy. It is a parasite we will endeavour to remove from you at all costs."

During his speech, the baby became more restless. Sam's frown deepened, as her child seemed to do somersaults in her belly. She saw Teal'c take a step towards her and Daniel got out of his chair. Then she knew blackness.

"Your words are weak lies, Jaffa. Pathetic attempts at convincing my host of untruths you cling to in place of facing the reality you know will come. Heed my warning, Jaffa, let this woman go and I will spare your life and that of your son when Anubis begins his assault on the Tau'ri and their allies."

"I thought you wanted the baby." Daniel took a step closer, glaring at the Goa'uld. "Anubis won't be too happy if you hurt it.."

"I am only here to warn you. I will so go back to my dormant state and the baby will remain unharmed." Theia gave him a cruel smile. "Tell your people to give my host up as lost or I will ensure you regret it. My child and I will return to my Lord Anubis soon. You would be advised to let us go peacefully."

Her eyes flashed and Sam gasped. She cried out, clutching her stomach as pain sliced through her abdomen. Teal'c moved to her side, wrapping a steadying arm around her as Daniel rushed to the door to alert the SF.

Her breathing becoming increasingly laboured, Sam clutched Teal'c's hand and looked up as Jack burst through the door with Janet on his heels. "Don't let her take my baby," she gasped, her fingernails digging into Teal'c's flesh. "Please don't let her take my baby."

=*=

Janet wasn't surprised when she walked into the infirmary with General Hammond two hours later to find the members of SG-1 were still there gathered around Sam's bed. She gave them all a reassuring smile and walked to stand beside her sleeping friend.

"You can all relax, Sam and her baby are okay. The baby was in distress, which caused Sam to have a mild anxiety attack. The reason she's still unconscious is because we sedated her in order to calm her down and avoid the risk of further complications with the baby." Janet stared down on her friend and the smile faded. "Sam should wake up any time now. I'm not sure if she's going to want to, though."

"Why would that be?" Teal'c spoke for the group, noticing out of the corner of his eye that O'Neill withdrew his hand from where it lay next to Major Carters when the General entered the room.

"The President and the Joint Chiefs are under a lot of pressure from certain parties," General Hammond answered. "Ever since they discovered Major Carter was here and the circumstances surrounding her arrival, certain parties have been telling the President it would be the safest option for Major Carter to be kept in secure confinement at another base.."

"Kinsey." Jack scowled. His gaze snapped up to the General. "They're not taking Carter away, Sir. You know if Kinsey and the NID get their hands on her and the baby.."

"I agree that isn't an option, Colonel, but after the President learnt that the Goa'uld briefly returned this afternoon he asked me to come up with another solution." General Hammond glanced briefly at the sleeping woman. "After an hour of conferring the President has authorised us to move Major Carter to a safer location off world. We're going to find somewhere she can go where the Goa'uld won't be able to cause the destruction if it awakens early."

"You can't send her alone, General," Daniel protested. "If the Goa'uld doesn't take over again until the baby's born but you're talking about leaving her somewhere for near enough three months.."

"I don't plan on sending her to an unpopulated world, Doctor Jackson, just one where they're not as vulnerable to the Goa'uld causing as much destruction there as it could do here. Maybe somewhere less technologically advanced so the Goa'uld won't see it as such an attractive place to ruin. Wherever we send her, we will make sure they're aware of the situation and are prepared to support her." The General held up a hand to keep them from protesting further. "As members of Major Carter's team and being the closest thing to family she has that can be made aware of the situation, discounting Jacob, you will all have the choice of whether to join her off world. You won't all be able to stay all of the time for obvious reasons. You may be called back for missions or in your case, Doctor Jackson, to work on artefacts brought back by the other teams. It is entirely up to you whether you go or not."

It was a unanimous decision: they all agreed to go and stay with Sam on whatever planet they could find for her. It wasn't really something they had to think about - they all knew their future with her was uncertain and were more than aware of how difficult rescuing her from the Goa'uld would be. They'd spent almost four years looking for Sha're to try and rid her of the parasite inside and that had ended in freeing her the only way they could - by killing her to end the torment of being a slave to the creature inside.

When Sam woke up, Janet was there to break the news. Instead of being upset by the General's plans, Sam was relieved - even more so when she was told her friends would be going with her, wherever it was she was going. She didn't mind as long as it was somewhere quiet, somewhere the Goa'uld wouldn't see as being a threat to them and wouldn't see as being worthy of taking over.

She almost changed her mind when General Hammond told her where they were going. Edora. The only populated, non-technologically advanced planet they were on relatively good terms with who were willing to take her and her three teammates in for a three-month period understanding the situation they were in.

Great. Just great.

"It won't be so bad," Janet assured her with a grin, feeling for a moment as if she had her old friend back. "You'll have your own house you'll be sharing with SG-1 and I'll be coming through every two weeks."

"You don't care where I'm going, you just want an excuse to come through the Stargate more often," Sam complained, stuffing a backpack with some loose dresses Janet insisted she'd be more comfortable in during the last three months of her pregnancy. "I don't want to go to Edora. Why couldn't we go somewhere else? *Anywhere* else?"

"Because no one else was willing to take you in knowing the Goa'uld have an interest in you." Janet reached out and took her friends hands, smiling fondly. "It's going to be fine. I know what you're thinking, Sam, and you have nothing to worry about."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Janet." A petulant pout seemed to suggest otherwise. Then Sam's shoulders slumped and she sat down on the bed. "But you know *why* they agreed. Who is it that makes the decisions for the Edorans? And just think who's coming with me and most likely going to be there for the whole three months with me?"

"Someone who's crazy about you and who wants more than anything for this baby to be his," Janet retorted with a raised eyebrow. "You know I don't agree with what you're doing, Sam, but I'd have to be blind not to see how he feels about you. Especially now I know something's going on between you and am paying more attention than usual to the signs."

"I know." Sam sighed and stared up at her friend with big, round eyes. "It must be the hormones. I'm just.. I'm fat, Janet, and she's going to be there and they have history and you really don't want to hear me go on about this. I don't even want to hear me go on about this. Make me stop. Please."

Unable to contain her amusement any longer, Janet laughed at the expression in her face and hugged her on impulse. "As your colleague in the US Air Force, no I don't want to hear it. As your friend.. I wish the situation could be different for you both but I'm pleased you're happy. I just wish you could be happier."

"Me too." With tears stinging her eyes, Sam returned the hug and when she pulled back, her eyes were brimming. "Is there any way we can end this conversation with me not looking like an emotional wreck instead of the supposedly independent woman I am?"

"No," Janet answered after some deliberation. "But you're pregnant so it's allowed. And we'll make it our little secret, okay?"

As satisfied as she could be with that answer, Sam accepted another hug from her friend and resumed packing. 'It was the hormones,' she told herself resolutely. 'Nothing more than hormones.'

It was just unfortunate that her hormones were completely messed up so her emotions were all over the place, making her irrational and moody. Janet watched the four of them leave two days later, a small smile on her face. She couldn't wait to go through the Stargate in two weeks time and forced herself to focus on the positive, knowing there'd be plenty of time in the future to dwell on the negative.

=*=

There was a small welcome party waiting for them when they walked through the Stargate. Sam grumbled to herself on spotting a familiar face in the crowd but managed to fake a smile when she felt a hand on the small of her back and sensed both Teal'c and Daniel move closer. It was sweet how protective they were being but on the other hand, she didn't need them drawing any extra attention to her.

Stealing herself, Sam took the lead and walked towards the group of Edorans, doing all she could to keep the smile in place. It slipped slightly when Laira stepped forward; the other woman's gaze and smile fixing on someone just behind her.

"Fair day," Laira greeted them, her gaze moving to Sam when Jack took a step closer to the blond major. "Major Carter, please accept our congratulations on your blessing and be assured that we will do all that we can to make you comfortable during your stay here."

Daniel's muttered 'we've heard that before' echoed Sam's thoughts and sent her mind back to places she didn't want to go but aloud, she accepted the Edoran woman's welcome with what seemed like equal warmth. "Thank you for your kindness and for offering us a place to stay despite the circumstances.."

"Your General assured there would be little danger in us helping you. That is why your friends are here, to ensure the creature inside you cannot harm our people." Payan was staring at them suspiciously but Sam got the feeling his suspicious gaze wasn't meant solely for her.

Jack was the one who fielded the comment, slipping an arm around Sam's waist in what appeared to be a well-practised gesture, staring at the Edorans through the darkness of his shades. "I don't mean to sound rude but it's been a long day and Sam needs her rest.."

"Of course. I'll show you to your home." Laira smiled brightly, after shooting Payan a glance SG-1 couldn't decipher. "If there is anything you need during your time here, please do not hesitate in asking us," she told them kindly, leading them away from the small group towards the village. "You will have to excuse Payan. He was not supportive of our decision to welcome you here."

"If it's going to cause problems, we can leave and find somewhere else.." Part of her was hoping Laira would say yes, leaving was a good idea but that part of Sam was disappointed when the Edoran laughed and continued walking.

"It is not the creature inside you that causes Payan's discomfort," Laira assured her. "It is something else. Something he will need to accept if he wishes to be treated like the adult he is." She stopped outside the first house they came to on the edge of the village, a short distance away from any of the other buildings. "This will be your home while you stay with us. I apologise for its size but it is the only one we have that is currently available."

"It's fine, thank you, Laira." Daniel brushed passed Sam and Jack and walked into the house; eager to put down the heavy bag he was carrying. Teal'c followed suit, dumping the two bags he carried on the floor of what looked like the kitchen-come-dining room.

Sam watched her two teammates disappear inside and bit her lip, feeling decidedly awkward as she stood between Jack and Laira. "I'm going to go and lie down. Thank you again, Laira, it's very kind of you to do this." She started to move inside the house only to be stopped by Jack putting a hand on her arm.

"You okay?" He took off his sunglasses and searched her eyes, not liking it when the smile she gave him didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm fine. I just need to get some sleep." She gentle removed his hand from her arm. "You two should talk. You have a lot to catch up on." Sam excused herself without saying anything else and walked into the house, leaving Laira and Jack alone.

Wanting nothing more than to follow her inside, Jack stared down at the ground. He didn't know what to say to Laira. She had once meant so much to him, a lifeline at a time in his life when he easily could have sunk into despair. He knew her feelings for him had been deeper than his for her and now, standing in front of her on the planet that had once been his home, Jack waited for those old feelings to resurface, ashamed of himself when he could muster no more than friendship and gratefulness that her people had given them somewhere to come to.

Laira smiled up at him when his gaze returned to his face, holding out a hand for him to take. "Walk with me for a while, Jack. There are many things we need to talk about."

Reluctantly but not as much as he thought he'd be, Jack took her hand and allowed her to gently steer him away fro the house. Sensing they were being watched, he looked up in time to see Sam turn away form the window upstairs.

=*=

They walked to the lake in silence, sitting down on the bank before either of them started to talk. Laira stared at him as he gazed out over the lake, quenching the sadness in her heart that their reunion couldn't be what she dreamt it would.

"Payan is jealous of your being here," she started, looking away when he turned his head to look at her. "He has no reason to be. He is my husband and should trust that I will remain faithful to him, no matter how tempted I am," she added with a small smile. "Payan and I married two hundred days after your departure. I think it is a union he regrets as I have been unable to give him a child." She looked at him then, a sad expression arranging her features. "Am I right in assuming you wish Major Carter's child to be yours?"

"Yeah." He didn't bother lying; he respected her too much for that. "Carter.. Sam's baby might be mine. Whether it is or not I'm going to be a part of its life." He smiled sympathetically, taking her hand. "Congratulations on your marriage. Payan is a very lucky man."

"He may not think so." Laira gave a short, bitter laugh. "He wanted a child of his own but I have been unable to conceive."

"Children aren't everything," Jack told her honestly, remembering in the back of his mind another conversation he'd had when he said exactly the same thing, only that conversation had resulted in a very different ending the one he was currently having would. "Payan cares about you too much to let that put him off. He must do or he wouldn't mind me being here, would he?"

"Perhaps not," Laira smiled at him and shifted towards him. "Tell me what has changed since you were last here, Jack. Tell me of the places you've been to and the things you've seen."

The longing in her eyes and wistfulness in her tone wasn't just for the adventures he'd had but that was how he chose to interpret it. For nearly an hour he told her all he could, leaving out the dangerous and classified missions out of habit more than anything else. Although he could talk to Laira in a way he couldn't have done with his wife, he still couldn't tell her everything. There was only one woman who would understand it all, who would accept it without judgment, he reflected with a small smile.

A smile Laira saw and understood.

"You love her, don't you?" The smile she gave him was as genuine as the pang in her chest. Had that look ever entered his eyes when he talked about her? She wondered. Did Payan ever smile in that way when he spoke of her to his friends? She could tell from the blush that rose up in his cheeks that he wasn't going to say he didn't. "Does Major Carter know?"

"I think she does," Jack replied with a shrug. "She knows I care about her."

"But does she know you love her?" Laira wondered aloud. "I saw the way she looked at us, Jack. She is unsure where your affections lie and given her condition, you should probably make sure she knows. Women can be very.. insecure when they are with child." Her eyes clouded over as she recalled with fondness her own time as an expectant mother. "My husband was very supportive of me," she remembered with a distant smile. "I don't know how he coped with the shifts in my mood."

Jack squeezed the hand he was holding and leaned over to wipe away the tear that ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry you and Payan are having trouble, Laira. I'm sure you'll have a child together when the time's right."

"I hope so, Jack. I do not think I could survive losing another man I love," she admitted tearfully, looking away so he wouldn't know she was talking about more than her late husband. "We should be getting back. It will soon be dark and I have yet to prepare an evening meal for my family." Decisively, Laira released his hand and got to her feet, brushing the dirt from her dress. "If you would like me to prepare an evening meal for you and your friends.."

"We'll manage," Jack assured her, standing with a grin. "Laira, I honestly can't thank you enough for letting us come here. If you hadn't, I don't know where Carter would've been sent.."

"You're welcome, Jack." She meant it, too. "I hope you and Major Carter find a way to remain together when this is over. And I hope she and I can become friends when she realises I am not a threat to her."

They walked back to the village making small, casual conversation. Payan was there waiting for them, the scowl on his face making Jack move his arm from where it had been casually slung around Laira's waist.

"Payan, I believe congratulations are in order." Jack held out a hand to the other man and Laira held her breath, waiting for her husband to respond. "I was just asking Laira for some advice.."

"Jack was wondering how he could ensure Major Carter knows he loves her," Laira picked up on the half-truth and threw Jack a grateful smile when Payan moved to take his hand. "I told him he should just tell her and do everything he can to make her believe it."

"You have a good woman here," Jack told Payan when the other man grasped his hand. "You're a very lucky man."

Payan nodded and wrapped a possessive arm around her. "I know."

"Well, I better be going back. Someone's going to have to make sure Carter eats something." With an easy grin, Jack excused himself and headed in the direction of the house that would be his home. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Payan kiss his wife and his grin grew. He was happy for them - and he hoped he could use their marriage in his attempts at assuring Carter what had been between him and Laira was well and truly in the past.

Reaching the house, Jack let himself in, raising an eyebrow when only Teal'c and Daniel were sitting at the table eating. "Where's Carter?"

"She wouldn't come down," Daniel replied calmly, studiously avoiding looking up at the colonel. "Can't say I blame her. She needs all of our support, Jack. If you're not going to be there for her you might as well go home."

"I'll be there," Jack retorted, unsurprised by his friends defensiveness towards Sam. He still didn't know exactly what had happened during his first stay on Edora but he knew whatever it was had caused the other two male members of SG-1 to hover over Carter for what felt like several weeks until they were sure Jack could be trusted on his own with her. "I just need to sort something out."

Teal'c stood and held out a tray with a bowl and spoon on it, his serious gaze locking with Jacks. "Major Carter needs to eat," was all he said.

"I'll take it up to her," Jack took the tray with a nod. "What are the sleeping arrangements, anyway?"

"There are two rooms. Daniel Jackson and myself have taken the room with two cots." Teal'c continued to stare him down. "We had thought you could share with Major Carter."

"Yeah, sounds okay to me." Jack nodded again and started towards the door, pausing before he went through it. "I need to talk to you guys when I get back. There's something you should know."

"You can tell us after ensuring Major Carter eats, O'Neill." Teal'c stared at him until he left the room and only then did he allow the smile to show on his face. "I believe you are right, Doctor Jackson. Something has indeed occurred between them."

"As long as he doesn't hurt her," Daniel commented as Teal'c rejoined him at the table. "It's okay as long as he doesn't hurt her."

Teal'c agreed wholeheartedly, though he suspected it was the Colonel who would be hurting when their time on Edora came to an end.

=*=

He walked quietly up the stairs, checking the first room with the open door before crossing to the second. He knocked softly on the door and opened it when no one answered, stepping inside.

"Carter?" He called out softly; gazing at the bump he could see underneath the thin blankets of the double sized bed. "You asleep?"

"Yes," came the mumbled reply, the answer contradicting the truth. She shifted on the bed, burrowing further under the blankets.

"You don't sound it." He grinned to himself at the sleepiness in her tone, crossing the room towards her. He stopped beside the bed, wondering whether he should sit down. "I brought you something to eat," he said eventually when she made no move to acknowledge him further. Staring down into the bowl, he gave it a tentative sniff. "Smells like soup."

There was another shuffle beneath the covers and he could just make out the top of her head. "I'm not hungry," came the muffled response with a clipped "thank you" added after a moment's pause.

"Come on, Sam. You've got to keep your strength up." He put the tray down on the small table next to the bed and stared at her, wishing he could see more than just her head.

"I'll eat later," she muttered eventually, her voice sounding thick - whether with tiredness or something else, he didn't know.

There was a long pause as he searched his mind for something else to say. He sighed softly and sat down on the bed beside her, tentatively reaching out to touch her through the blankets. "So. It looks like we're going to be sharing," he started, desperate for her to look at him. "Daniel and T have claimed the other room so you're stuck with me."

"Great," she snorted, wriggling a little to avoid his touch. "I'm sure the floor will be comfortable."

"Sam.."

"I'm tired," she interrupted, turning on her side so she faced away from him when her head appeared from underneath the blankets.

Jack wasn't willing to give up so easily so decided to try one more time. He reached for her again, letting his hand rest on her shoulder. "We need to talk."

"We can talk to tomorrow," Sam retorted, closing her eyes tightly and biting her lip against the warmth at her shoulder. "I'm going to sleep now, okay? Janet said I have to get more rest."

Knowing she was right, Jack gave another resigned sigh and moved to stand. "Fine. Tomorrow we'll talk." He leaned in quickly, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "And I'll make sure you listen."

She didn't move until she heard the door close softly behind him. Then Sam let out the breath she was holding, told herself she wasn't disappointed he was gone and turned her face into the pillow.

It was going to be a long night, and an even longer three months.

=*=

His mood didn't lift when he went back downstairs. The three male members of SG-1 ate in silence and cleared away in silence. Then he retook his seat at the table and looked from Daniel to Teal'c and back again.

"To make a long story short, something happened between Carter and me," he told them finally, when the silence got too much. "It happened before the snake took control of her, the night before. It wasn't supposed to be a one-night thing; neither of us is stupid enough to risk everything for that. If.. *When* this is over and we get her back, I fully intend on following through with our plans. I want a relationship with her and she used to want one with me."

Daniel and Teal'c failed to look surprised.

"We suspected something had occurred, O'Neill," Teal'c responded quietly. "Would be right in assuming the child she carries may indeed belong to you?"

"Yes." Jack met the Jaffa's gaze, surprised when he didn't find any recrimination there. "And even if it's not, I plan on being part of its life. The kid's going to need a father figure and with Carter's approval, that'll be me. She's already asked that I help Doc look after it until we get her back."

"As will we," Teal'c looked at him in approval.

Daniel glanced up from the table, his blue eyes solemn. "What if we don't get her back and Janet proves the baby isn't yours? What if it's a harcesis?"

"We are going to get her back, Daniel. Failing isn't an option here." Jack met the younger man's gaze evenly. "I know how hard it was for you when Sha're.." He shook his head, forbidding thoughts of Sam meeting the same end from sticking too long in his mind. "That isn't going to happen again. I can't let it."

"And the baby?" Daniel was surprised when he didn't feel the usual, intense pang of sorrow at the thought of his late wife. Instead he felt sympathy for his friend, knowing exactly what he was going through and he was determined the ending would be different. "If it's not yours?"

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. I'll raise it like it is." Jack shrugged to ease the tension from his shoulders. "I know there might be some problems if it is harcesis but we'll deal with them when the time comes. If necessary, I'm prepared to take the baby off world and live with it somewhere else if it means protecting it from the likes of the NID."

"With or without Sam?" Daniel wanted to know, needing to know his best friend had his other friend's best interests at heart. It was strange, he thought, being caught between them in this way. He always thought that if they got together he'd be happy for them - and he was. But he was wary, too. He loved Sam like a sister and Jack like a best friend and didn't want to see either of them get hurt.

"With or without her," Jack confirmed sternly. "Though I'd prefer it if she was there, too."

"Good." Daniel did smile then, the smile widening when Jack's shoulders slumped in relief. "You're going to have to do something about being here, though," he cautioned. "About Laira.."

"I know." Jack leaned forward, looking at them with a small grin. "I'm going to need your help, though. Carter won't talk to me about it willingly and if the two of you are around, you're going to give her an excuse to avoid me."

"What do you wish us to do, O'Neill?" Teal'c stared at him expectantly, waiting for the answer. Whatever it was, he'd do it. He wanted his friends to enjoy their happiness together while they could, before it was taken away from them.

"I need you to make yourselves scarce tomorrow night.."

=*=

As he expected, Sam avoided him during the day. He joined her in their room, awkwardly climbing into bed beside her and woke up in the morning to find her gone. It was getting to be a habit, he decided ruefully, a bad habit he intended to break. She spent the morning talking with the Edorans she recognised from when they'd been stranded on Earth and spent the afternoon walking on her own until Jack sent Teal'c after her.

As planned, Teal'c walked her back to the house and excused himself when she asked why he wasn't joining her inside. He then met up with Daniel and went to Laira's, who'd offered them a place to stay so Jack could put his plan into action.

Sam opened the door and gasped, stopping in her tracks. The room was dark with the exception of the candles that burnt brightly on the table, which had been set with the plates, cups and cutlery Laira had supplied and the food served up smelt delicious as her stomach rumbled in appreciation.

"If you don't close the door, the candles will go out." The voice was so close to her ear, Sam jumped and glared at him with a look that clearly said 'close it yourself.' Jack chuckled and shut the door, returning to her side to guide her gently to the table. "We better get started or the food'll go cold."

"I take it you arranged for Daniel and Teal'c to be somewhere else?" She asked, sitting down at the table reluctantly. Her mind struggled to keep up with the conversation while her stomach was busy telling her to eat up fast. She folded her arms over her chest and stared at him suspiciously as he moved around to the other side of the table. "Why are you doing this?"

"It seemed like a good idea." He shrugged and busied himself taking the top of the bottle on the table. "Besides, it's working so far."

Sam raised an eyebrow and watched him set the bottle lid on the table. "Working?"

"You're talking to me," he replied with a smug smile he couldn't keep from forming on his lips. "Listening, too. That's a very good start to the evening even if I do say so myself. Drink? It's none alcoholic."

"Yes, thank you." He was already pouring it anyway. "If you wanted to talk, you could've just said so instead of going to these extremes.."

"I wouldn't say this was going to extremes, Carter. Sam," he corrected himself, finally taking his seat opposite her. "You wouldn't talk to me last night, you've been ignoring me all day.. I didn't think you were the jealous type, Carter."

"Jealous?" She stared at him in disbelief, hoping he wouldn't notice the slightly higher pitched tone to her voice and pleased the darkness hid the glow in her cheeks. "I am not jealous! What do I have to be jealous about?"

"Absolutely nothing. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Jack watched her push the food around on her plate and stifled a sigh. "You might want to eat that," he said with forced cheerfulness. "Fraiser won't be happy if I tell her you haven't been eating.."

The glare she threw him made him want to smile but instead he looked away, piling his own fork high with the meal Payan had instructed him to cook. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she started eating, pleased when she seemed to enjoy it.

"There's nothing going on between Laira and me, if that's what you're thinking," he spoke up casually, careful not to let her see him looking at her. "She and Payan have been married for a while," he continued, sensing rather than seeing that he had her full attention. "They're trying for a kid, actually, but they're having a few problems."

"I'm sorry for that but what does it have to do with me?" Sam glanced up from her plate, her eyes narrowing when she didn't catch him watching her. She could've sworn that he was looking at her.. "Laira's relationship with Payan or with you for that matter is none of my business.."

"I just thought you'd want to know what Laira and me were talking about yesterday." He put his fork down, meeting her gaze for the first time since sitting down. "Laira is just my friend, Sam. She wants to be your friends, too."

An eyebrow rose and she stared at him in disbelief. "She barely knows me. And I don't care whether you and Laira are just friends or not, it has absolutely nothing to do with me."

"As long as we're involved in this relationship, or any relationship, it's your business. For someone so smart, you're quite slow on the uptake."

"We're.." She started to protest but a kick from inside her stomach made her fall silent.

Jack grinned but concealed it behind his cup. "You can't deny we're not in a relationship because we are. We always have been. Granted, it's not always been this complicated but we have always been in some form of relationship. What I want to know is why you keep looking for a way out of it." He stopped her from protecting with a well-practised look. "You do, Sam. If you're not using regulations to avoid it, you're using something else. What gives, Carter? You said you wanted this, that you were tired of settling for what you could have instead of having what you want. Why do you keep running away from it?"

She put her knife and fork down on the table, folding her hands in front of her. Staring down at them, she took a deep, shuddering breath and let his words sink in. It was time. She did avoid relationships, especially with people she genuinely had feelings for. She had done for as long as she could remember; convinced that loving someone wasn't worth the risk. She'd just end up getting hurt so what was the point? Why bother loving someone if it wasn't going to last?

Jack studied her reaction and regretted confronting her about it. The emotions that passed over her face broke his heart let alone hers. She looked so confused, so forlorn, so lost.. He opened his mouth to tell her it was okay, she didn't have to answer him but Sam beat him to it, lifting her head. The look in her eye silenced him.

"I don't want to get hurt," she said quietly, refusing to give into the desire to break eye contact. "I can't go through it again."

"Go through what?" He couldn't stop himself from asking it, covering her hands with his. "You know I'd never hurt you."

"My Mom never thought she'd hurt me either but she did. Not willingly, of course, but when she died.. It hurt more than anything else in the world." Sam looked away then, staring down at her hands. Their hands. "Everyone I've ever loved has hurt me, Jack, in different ways maybe but it still hurts. My Mom died, my Dad tried to change me into the person Mark refused to be.. My brother left me after she died without thinking how it would affect anyone else. Jonas turned into someone else the moment I let him into my heart.. The guys I thought I could possibly someday fall in love with died because of me, because of what I do. Martouf, Narim, the Ambassador, Orlin.. At first I thought I was attracted to your because you were the safe bet, the one I couldn't be with so the one who couldn't hurt me." She moved her hands so they held his between them. "Then I realised it was more than that and that's when I started to back away. And then everything else happened and I got tired of not being able to be as happy as my brother, as happy as my parents were.."

"And as soon as you decided to open yourself to the possibility, something else bad happened and you're freaked out by it." Jack pulled his hand from hers and moved around the table. He sat on the bench beside her, wrapping an arm around her. "I can't promise I'm not going to die but I can tell you I'll do whatever I can to keep from dying until we're both really old."

Turning her body into his, Sam let her eyes close and sighed heavily, wanting so much to believe him but unable to find it in her heart to do so. "My parents thought they'd be together until they died. They thought they'd both reach a fine old age and die together in their sleep. It didn't happen for them."

"They're not us." He tightened his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head. "I know things look pretty bad for us right now but they're not always going to be that way. You should know better than anyone else that the future isn't always what we expect it to be." Jack pulled away slightly, an idea coming to mind. It was slightly risky but.. "Have you tried seeing the future, Sam? Have you tried looking to see what's going to happen..?"

"I haven't tried.. I'm afraid of what I'll see," she answered truthfully. "There's no telling what the future has in store for us right now. And there's no way we can know it's real.. I've had so many different visions of the future.."

"You had some about having kids," he reminded her, moving a hand to rest on her stomach. "And that's come true."

"But I was there those times, I was able to be the Mom. I won't be this time." She met his gaze and covered his hand where it rested. "I'm scared, Jack. What if I see myself as Theia's host for good? What if I see her doing something bad, maybe even hurting someone I know?"

He couldn't tell her that wouldn't happen because they both knew it was a possibility. She could spend the rest of her life as a host and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Was it better not knowing or was it better being prepared for the worst case scenario?

"It's up to you, Sam," he said finally, getting to his feet and pulling her to hers. "There's no rush and you don't have to do it but.. There's a chance it'll make you feel better. There's also a chance it'll make us both feel worse, though, so.. It's completely up to you. For now, though," he drew her towards him again, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against her mouth. "I think it's time we got some sleep. It's been a long day and I know I sure as hell didn't sleep very well last night."

She nodded against him and took a step back, her gaze scanning over the remains of their dinner. "We should tidy up.."

He stopped her from taking another step towards the table. "I'll do it in the morning." Leaning over, he blew out the candles and reached out for her hand in the darkness. "Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

She willingly let him lead her upstairs and the silence between them continued until they were both ready for bed and were settled under the blankets, curled up together. Sam let her head rest on Jack's shoulder, staring into the darkness for a long time. After an hour passed, she felt his breathing deepen and knew he was sound asleep.

Leaning up, she brushed her lips against his, her eyes sparkling with tears she would never cry. "I'm sorry," she whispered, part of her wishing he could hear. "I can't see what's ahead of us, not even for you. I'm sorry I'm not as brave as you want me to be."

Settling down beside him, she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come, fighting the vision that his suggestion had conjured; telling herself it was something she didn't want to see.

=*=

Another month went by and everything seemed fine. For a change, it seemed like things had gone back to normal - as normal as they could be, anyway, with all four members of SG-1 being based off world and two of them sharing a bed and a tentative new relationship. They could never forget the circumstances that had brought them to Edora but they were making the best of it.

It was rare for Sam to get a moment alone so when her friends roped into helping out around the village, she seized the chance and went for a quiet walk around the village. She always seemed to end up at the same place so it wasn't a surprise when she found herself at the lake. She was drawn to it for some reason, whether it reminded her of Lake Tahoe or another lake she'd never been to she wasn't sure.

She sat there for about an hour when she heard footsteps. She didn't speak or even more, hoping whoever it was wouldn't see her through the long grass.

"Jack used to come here," Laira said in way of greeting, staying on her feet. "I never knew what he was thinking of when he sat there staring out over the water. I think I do now." She smiled warmly when Sam looked up at her. "He asked me to come for you. Your father has come through the Stargate and is waiting for you at your home."

"Dad's here?" Sam stood as quickly as she could, her mood lifting instantly at the thought of seeing her father. She started walking towards the village, unsurprised when Laira walked in step beside her. "I haven't thanked you properly, Laira, for all you've done for us."

"It is nothing. If there is anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable or if you want to talk.." Laira sounded nothing but sincere as she made the offer. "It must be hard for you being here without your mother and your female friends. I don't know what I would have done without my mother here to help me when I had my son."

"My Mom died when I was a kid," Sam said softly, the words leaving her mouth before she could think about them. Her Mom never seemed far from her thoughts as her pregnancy progressed and now, with just over a month to go, she seemed to be thinking about her every other minute of every other day. "I wish she was here now."

Laira hesitated then reached out to touch the other woman's arm. "I am sorry about your mother. Mine passed on two years after my son was born. I suppose it is better for me, she was there for the birth of her grandchild. Her only grandchild."

Sam briefly let her hand linger on top of Laira's but quickly broke the contact. "I'm sorry to hear you and Payan.. Jack told me you're having problems trying to conceive a child."

Laira smiled again, albeit with a touch of sadness. "I am hopefully our luck will change soon. Payan is desperate for a child of his own. I only wish I could give him the son or daughter he longs for."

"When the time's right, you will be able to." Sam glanced at her from the corner of her eye, touching her own extended abdomen as if to check it was still there. "If you're worried about there being something wrong, you could ask Janet to run some tests when she's next here. If nothing else, it'll help put your mind at ease."

"Do you think Doctor Fraiser would mind? I wouldn't want to trouble her." Hope flared in her eyes even as she spoke and Sam couldn't stop herself from returning the smile.

"She wouldn't mind at all. I'll ask her for you next time if you'd like?" She barely heard the answer although she knew it was a yes, her gaze straying to the two men standing outside her house seemingly in deep conversation. Jack's shirt clung and hung in all the right places and then he laughed at something her father said.. "Down girl," she told herself softly. "These hormones are driving me crazy," she said aloud, smiling when the object of her attention noticed her, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Excuse me, Laira," she bushed slightly at the knowing grin on the Edoran woman's face. "Dad, hi."

Jacob grinned at the sight of her, pushing certain thoughts from his mind. "You look great, Sammie." He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "So I went back to Earth to visit my little girl and George told me you'd move here.. He said you'd fill me in on everything that's been going on."

"I will, Dad." She let go of him just enough to step away. "But if you don't mind, I'd like it if we could go inside and talk? It's getting a bit hot our here and my feet are aching."

"No problem, Sam." Jacob held onto her hand and nodded to Jack. "Will you be joining us, Colonel?"

"Ah, not this time. I've got to get back to work." Jack grinned but Sam could see the nervousness in his eyes. She wasn't surprised; they'd decided a few days before that they wanted to tell her father the truth - and get his advice on how to break the news to General Hammond. "I'll see you later, Jacob, Carter."

Whistling, Jack wandered off and Sam watched him go. She blushed when she noticed her father staring at her curiously and motioned for him to go inside. "After you."

Taking a deep breath, she followed him in, mentally crossing her fingers that he'd take her bombshell better than she thought he would.

=*=

Father and daughter were settled in the kitchen, sitting at the table in the centre of the room. Sam glanced up at him nervously, smiling shyly when he looked up at her. Ten minutes had passed since she'd told him about the possibility of Jack being her baby's father and had explained the shift in their relationship was one she welcomed.. and he still hadn't said a word.

"I know you're never going to approve, Dad, I'm not asking you to. I just want you to know I'm happy, just in case these are the last few months I have.. I want you to know I spent them being as happy as I can be given the situation." Sam bit her lip when his eyes locked with hers again, holding her breath when he lifted his head. She leaned into his palm when he cupped her cheek and let out the breath she'd been holding when he gave her a watery smile.

Jacob had to clear his throat before the words would come out passed the lump that rose in it. "The solider part of me can't be happy about this, Sam, but that part of me took a backseat a long time ago. The rest of me is thrilled you're finally doing something that makes you happy, really happy, although if it could've been done without breaking regulations.." He shook his head and smiled again. He took his hand from her face and held it out for her to take. Their fingers entwined and he found he had to blink back tears. "Your mom would be so happy for you, Sammie. There's a glow about you I saw in her when we were together.. I wish she could see you now."

"I wish she was here, too." Sam swallowed the lump in her throat and ignored the sting in her eyes. "I really miss her, Dad. I've been thinking about her a lot and I.. I'd do anything to have her with me for this."

"Me, too, Sammie," he brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against her knuckles. "Me, too." With his other hand, he wiped suspiciously at his eyes.

Sam gave his fingers a squeeze and kept her hold of his hand as she stood and moved around the table. Sitting on the bench beside him, she leaned in and let her head rest on his shoulder, closing her eyes when his arm wrapped around her.

They sat there in silence for a long time, both conjuring all the memories they had of the woman who would have made the moment complete.

=*=

Sam and Jacob hadn't moved much an hour later when Jack arrived with Janet beside him. They both looked up when the door opened, a smile breaking out across Sam's face when she saw the doctor.

"Hey, Mom," Janet smiled and embraced Sam when the other woman stood to greet her. "How's it going?"

Sam grinned and stood back, taking Janet's hand and resting it on her stomach as the child inside kicked in greeting. "I'd say it's going okay."

"Glad to hear it." Janet smiled in acknowledgement at Jacob when the retired General also stood. "If you don't mind, Jacob, I need to steal your daughter for a while. We need to make sure this little one's ready to face the world in a few weeks time."

"That's fine with me, Doctor." Jacob's gaze slid from her face and fixed on Jack. It was all he could do not to grin when the colonel swallowed noticeably. "I thought we could have a little chat while the ladies are busy, Colonel? Unless there's something else you have to do.."

Jack glanced momentarily to Sam, taking reassurance in the soft smile she gave him before Janet led her away towards the stairs. "No, there's nothing I have to do. Should we sit down or..?"

"Let's take a walk," Jacob suggested, walking ahead of him out of the door and into the bright sunlight. Only when his back was to Jack did he allow himself to smile. They needed to have a serious talk, he knew, but that wasn't going to stop him from having a little bit of fun while they did it.

=*=

Sam watched from the bedroom window as her father walked two strides ahead of Jack, grinning when Jack had to run a little to keep up.

"I take it Jacob knows?" Janet asked from where she stood by the bed, getting everything she needed ready for the examination. "I didn't know you were going to tell him..?"

Turning to face her friend, Sam leaned against the windowsill, a content smile on her face even though her eyes were shadowed by sadness. "We decided it was for the best. Jack's going to play a big part in raising the baby so.. It'll be easier if he doesn't have to fend off questions from Dad while he does it."

"Good point." Janet forced herself to smile brightly, firmly pushing the thought that Sam might not be there to raise her own child out of her mind. "Okay, if you'd lie down for me.. We'll see if everything's in order for the baby to make its grand entrance."

Sam did as she was told and focused on the ceiling. "How much longer do you think I have?" She asked after twenty minutes of silence, her eyes closing as the ceiling became blurred.

Janet was silent for a few moments, knowing the question was more than just a mother wanting to know how much longer she'd have to wait before she could hold her baby. It was her best friend asking how much longer she had before the Goa'uld inside her took control once again. "Well, the baby's head is about 3/5th into your pelvis now, so it's in a good position. You're what we call term now, as you're passed 37 weeks, so really it could be anytime. It's your first pregnancy, though, Sam, so there is a chance it might be another four or five weeks. I'll come back in a fortnight and should be able to give you a more definite date then."

"But I haven't got long." She didn't expect an answer so she wasn't disappointed when all her friend did was sigh softly. "I knew it would get to this stage eventually, I just didn't expect it to get here so soon. I don't know if I'm ready, Janet. To give birth, to give up.."

"You're not giving up." Moving from the end of the bed, Janet sat beside her friend and stared at her intently, willing her to open her eyes. "Even when the Goa'uld comes back, you can't give up. You've got to keep fighting, Sam. We're going to come after you and find you and bring you home again. You just have to keep fighting until we do."

"I don't know if I can," Sam admitted quietly, opening her eyes so Janet could see the glimmer of tears in them. "I don't know how long I can keep fighting if she makes me go back to that place. I can't do it, Janet."

"You did it for four months, you managed to come back after that.." Janet swallowed the lump in her own throat and gazed intently - imploringly - at her friend. "You can do it again, Sam. *Please*. You know the guys won't rest till they bring you home again. Four months might be all it takes, maybe less.."

Sam focused on her friend's face, managing a tight smile when Janet reached out to touch her arm. "I might be able to hold on for four months but I doubt I can do it for any longer than that."

"You won't have to," Janet vowed, hoping against hope she wasn't making a promise SG-1 couldn't keep. "I really hope you won't have to."

"So.." Sniffing, doing her best not to cry, Sam kept the smile on her face. "What's been going on at home? How's Cassandra?"

Relived the conversation was on easier ground, Janet got herself comfortable and lay down on the bed beside her friend. "Well, she has a new boyfriend," she started, "and for once, I approve. He's her age, loves art as much as Cassie does and he lives just a few blocks away so it's not too far for her to go.."

=*=

"Sam told me about your relationship," Jacob stated when the colonel caught up with him, resisting the urge to chuckle when Jack lost his balance and stumbled, almost falling flat on his face in the dirt. "You can relax, son, I'm not going to tell you how stupid you are for breaking the regs and I'm not going to go over how dangerous this relationship could be to both of your careers. I'm sure you and Sam have gone over it enough in your own heads and she assured me you talked about it before anything happened. Besides, she's happy and by God, she deserves it after everything she's been through."

Jack nodded, rapidly regaining his composure as he relaxed at the older man's words. "She does. She deserves it more than anyone.."

"You deserve it, too, Jack." Jacob threw the man a sidelong glance, staring long enough to see the surprise that flickered in Jack's eyes. "I won't pretend I know everything you've gone through but I know a soldier who's been through the wringer more than once when I see him. And I heard about your son.. You deserve to be happy, too. I just wish.." He sighed then, the good humour leaving his eyes and his tone. "I just wish the circumstances could've been better. Ideally, you wouldn't be risking your careers but I'd have settled for not having my daughter be a Goa'uld at this point in time."

"She won't be a Goa'uld forever," Jack inserted confidently, his gaze fixed ahead of them. "Now we know who the snake is and where she'll be, we'll be able to find her and bring her home. If Anubis doesn't come for her straight away, there's a chance.."

"He'll come," Jacob cut in heavily. "That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. A Tok'ra operative confirmed what Sam said about him using Asgard technology. I wouldn't be surprised if he was some nearby right now, keeping an eye on her. Making sure he can transport her aboard his ship the moment the Goa'uld takes over again."

Beside him, Jack tensed and his pace slowed. "So he takes her." He shrugged through the casual gesture took more effort than usual. "We'll just have to take her back."

"We will." They walked on in silence for several minutes, both men trying to persuade themselves it was as simple as stating it aloud. "George tells me Sam's decided the baby will be taken back to Earth. He said she's asked Doctor Fraiser to take over as mother.."

"There's been a slight change of plan with that idea," Jack murmured, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I might as well tell you now, Jacob. I fully intend to be the father to this baby whether or not it's mine. I'll be raising it with help from Fraiser and the guys until Sam comes home and then we'll raise it together."

Jacob stopped walking and stared at him for several long moments. Then he nodded and resumed moving, his voice gruff when he spoke. "I'm glad to hear it, Colonel. I feel a little better knowing my grandchild will be taken care of, at least until we can reunite it with its mother. It does, however, create another problem."

He didn't need to ask what it was; it was one that had been playing on his mind since he'd decided to take over the parenting role of the baby. "I haven't figured out what to tell General Hammond yet. I'll have to tell him something since.. Well, I won't be staying on as SG-1's CO. I won't be a part-time father to this baby. I made that mistake with Charlie and I won't do it again."

"I suspected something like that." Jacob nodded again and the two came to a gradual stop. "Does Sam know you intend to leave SG-1?"

"We talked about it. She.. She said it was up to me but said that if - when - she comes back, she doesn't know if she'll want to stay on a field unit." He shrugged and faced Jacob, meeting his gaze evenly. "I don't think she was happy about me leaving SG-1 but she knows there are more important things now than our jobs. And she knows there are ways we can help fight against the Goa'uld without being on the frontline all the time."

"Is that what you're going to tell George?"

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at the dirt on the ground. "I'm going to have to tell him there's a chance the baby's mine, especially when Fraiser runs her tests to find out if it is or not. I'll tell him I made a promise to Sam and that I don't want to miss out on the chance at being a father again. Apart from looking for Sam and getting her back, I don't want to go on any other missions. I'll be happy to help out occasionally, maybe even take the desk job he's been hinting I should accept but I won't put myself in danger anymore. Not when I've got someone depending on me."

"You're a good man, Jack." Jacob squared his shoulders and held out his hand, talking past the lump in his throat. His fingers tightened against the colonel's when Jack gripped his hand. "Promise me you'll take care of Sam while she's still here, and that you'll look after my grandkid so I can come and visit."

"I promise." The two men shook hands and then Jacob surprised Jack by embrac ing him briefly, clapping him on the back.

Moving away, Jacob started walking in the direction they'd come from, wiping surreptitiously at his face as he did so. "We better be going back," he called out over his shoulder. "Sam might start worrying I've gone back on my promise not to hurt you."

Aware of how much the conversation had cost Jacob, Jack was silent as they walked back towards the village and the house. He was suddenly overcome with an urge to gather Carter into his arms and hold her tight, regardless of who was there to see. After all, the pessimist in him said tauntingly, their time together was rapidly running out.

=*=

That evening, Sam convinced her father to stay after their meal was over, saying she needed him for something important. When they were all settled, Sam looked at each of the expectant faces in turn, a lump rising in her throat at the sight of them all. Her friends, her family.. People she might never see again.

"The reason I asked you to say is because I need your help, Dad. *We* need your help," she corrected, taking in the grin on her lovers face. "There's not long to go before the little one gets here and there's something important we haven't done yet." At their blank expressions, she smiled again. "We don't have a name. Now I know we don't know if it's a boy or a girl so we'll need to choose both and I'd really like it if you guys would help us come up with something. That way I'll know what you guys are going to be calling it when it's born."

Touched that they'd been asked to help, her friends and her father were silent for a few moments. Then the fun began. Scattered around the small room, they all thought hard to come up with something good.

"Aaron."

"Alan."

"Adrian."

Sam reviews the names in her head, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Aaron, maybe. Alan, maybe. Adrian, no way. I knew an Adrian in school. There's not a chance in hell I'm letting you call my son that."

"Barnaby?"

"No." Jack shook his head vehemently and tightened his arm around Sam's shoulders when she turned her head to look at him in amusement. "I had riding lessons on a horse called Barnaby when I was a kid," he explained."

"Ben. Benjamin Carter." Jacob suggested. "It was one of the names your mother and I considered for Mark."

"Ben Carter," Sam mused. "Ben O'Neill," she added, meeting Jack's surprised gaze with a shy smile. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Kristian."

"No," Janet shook her head at Teal'c's suggestion. "I dated a Kristian once. Bad name."

"Chris? Christopher?"

"Chris Carter doesn't go. Christopher O'Neill.. It just doesn't sound right. Sorry."

Daniel grinned at her. "It's your baby, we're just making suggestions. Are there any names you like, Sam? Or you, Jack? At least then we'd have somewhere to start."

"I used to love the name Dennis when I was kid," Sam answered slowly with a slight blush. "But it's a little old fashioned, I think. I don't know what kind of names I want but I'll know the right one when I hear it. I have to say Benjamin's my favourite at the moment."

Jack tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, smiling when she laced her fingers with his. "I always liked the name Dylan. And Kieran."

"Since we're having a hard time choosing a boy's name, why don't we list some girls names, too?" Jacob suggested. "Then we can narrow it down to your favourites for both."

"Emily."

"Rose."

"Elizabeth."

"Susan."

"Lily. Lillian."

"Ruth."

"Marie."

"Andrew."

"Liam."

"James."

"Karen."

"Hayley."

"Ian."

"Jason."

"Laura."

"Richard."

"Gemma."

"Tamin."

"Ryan."

"Angela."

Teal'c looked up, his gaze locking with Sam's. "Was your mother's name not Megan, Samantha Carter? Perhaps you could honour her by naming your child Megan if it is a female?"

Both Sam and Jacob fell silent. They looked at Teal'c and then looked at each other with tears in their eyes. "Megan Carter," Sam murmured.

"Megan O'Neill," Jacob mused aloud, winking when Daniel, Janet and Jack looked at him in surprise. "It's a nice name."

"It's a very nice name," Jack agreed in a voice that wasn't completely steady. He glanced at Sam in concern when she didn't say anything else. "What do you think, Carter?"

She smiled up at him, her eyes bright but not as bright as the smile on her lips. "Megan Rose O'Neill," she repeated. "I think we've found our girls name. Now for the boys.."

"Benjamin was the one you both liked," Janet reminded them. "Benjamin and Kieran."

Jack nodded slowly, a grin spreading across his face. "Benjamin Jacob Carter. Benjamin Jacob O'Neill."

Her smile grew bigger as Sam took in her father's reaction to his name being used in their decision. His eyes were shimmering again and he looked away after making brief eye contact and managing a small smile before he broke away. "That sounds perfect," she decided after a few minutes deliberation. "So it's Benjamin Jacob or Megan Rose."

Their friends congratulated them but Sam noticed her father didn't say anything. He didn't even look at her. Twenty minutes later, he got to his feet and the reason for his distance became clear.

"Sammie, I hate to break up the party but I've got to get back. Selmac and I have a mission in a few days time and we need to prepare for it." Jacob gave her a sad smile and stood in front of her friends awkwardly.

"You're not coming back, are you?" Sam asked quietly, standing with some help from Jack. "You won't make it back before the baby's due..?"

"I'm sorry, honey, I don't think I will." He reached out for her and drew her into his arms, hugging her as tightly as he dared. "I wish I could stay," he murmured into her hair, closing his eyes against the threat of tears. "I don't want to leave you, Sam."

"But you have to." Sam pulled back slightly and stared at him, memorising everything about him and sensing him do the same to her. The laughter and the camaraderie had died as they were all once again reminded of the situation they were in. Sam and Jacob knew with sinking hearts that there was a chance they'd never see each other again or if they did it could be on opposite sides of the war they were committed to fighting. "I love you, Daddy," she mumbled, not trusting her voice to hold if she spoke any louder. "No matter what happens, I love you."

"I love you, too, Sammie. I love you so much." A single droplet leaked from his eye and ran down his cheek but Jacob made no attempt to wipe it away. "I'm so proud of you, honey. I've always been proud of you."

Sam reached up and caught the tear before it could fall any further. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his cheek, the salt she tasted a bitter reminder of their forthcoming parting. "Don't say goodbye," she whispered brokenly. "Please don't say goodbye."

"Never." Wrapping his arms around her again, Jacob held onto his daughter until Selmac reminded him gently that they had to go. "I'll see you soon, Sam," he told her huskily when he forced himself to move away, his arms dropping to his sides. "Take care of yourself and be happy."

She could only nod as he turned away and walked towards the door. By silent agreement, Daniel and Teal'c got up to walk Jacob back to the Stargate. Jack pulled Sam against him, holding her as she broke down in silent sobs, grateful when she fell asleep against him two hours later with the aid of the sleeping pill Janet convinced her to take.

It was the first goodbye but it wouldn't be the last, and knowing that ensured nobody got a decent night's sleep that night. Their minds were too focused on the day not so far ahead when it would be their turn to say goodbye.

=*=

That day came sooner than any of them would have liked. Two weeks to the day, Janet stepped through the Stargate and immediately knew there was something wrong. There was no one there to greet her for starters and the clouds hanging low in the sky were an ominous dark grey.

"Doctor Fraiser, come quick!" Laira rushed up to her, running quicker than a woman who'd just discovered she was pregnant should. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks were flushed and she was obviously scared. "Major Carter's child is coming! You have to hurry, something is wrong!"

The two women raced along the dirt path as fast as they could. Janet knew with a sinking heart just what was wrong as they made it to the house; a dark mass broke through the clouds, casting an ominous shadow over the village.

Anubis was back and he'd come for his queen.

Daniel, Teal'c and Jack were in the bedroom with Sam when she arrived, the latter of whom was pacing and snapping irritably at anyone who went near her. Janet felt sadness for a moment, knowing when it was over her friend would be gone but pushed those feelings aside so the doctor in her could break through.

"Right, guys, listen up. Doctor Jackson, go get me some clean blankets or sheets. Teal'c, go get some warm water and see if you can find anything resembling ice chips. Sam, I want you to lie down so I can see how dilated you are." Doctor Fraiser called out orders left, right and centre and the two men she'd given them to moved faster than she'd ever seen them go to do her bidding. Sam followed her orders a little more slowly, grumbling as she did so. "Colonel, if you'd like to hold Sam's hand and keep track of the contractions, that'd be great."

Jack moved into position, ignoring the glare he got from Sam for his troubles. He took her hand and squeezed her unresponsive fingers. "Her waters broke about half an hour ago and the contractions are coming every five minutes."

"Every five minutes?" Janet asked from where she set to work at the bottom of the bed. When she was finished checking Sam over, she stood up and peeled the latex gloves from her hands. "You're already eight centimetres dilated, Sam. Looks like this baby's eager to be born."

"It's going too quickly," Sam gasped as another contraction struck her, digging her fingernails into Jack's hand. "Something's wrong, isn't it? Janet? Is it the Goa'uld?"

Janet hesitated, remembering the ship keeping the village in relative darkness. She wondered briefly if Sam had noticed or if the fear of giving birth had distracted her then answered her own question. Of course she'd noticed; they all had The occupants of the house had noticed it was dark and had lit lamps to compensate for it but they'd all been too distracted by other, more important matters to stop and look out of the window. "There's a ship, Sam," Janet answered finally, keeping her voice as calm as she could manage. "It could be the presence of the Goa'uld out there and the one inside of you that's making your labour progress quicker than normal."

"Daniel and Sha're's labour was prompted by the Goa'uld showing up," Sam murmured, sitting up slightly and clutching Jack's hand for all she was worth. "I don't want to do this, I don't want him to come back and I don't want him to take me.."

Anything he said would have been a lie so Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. "It'll be okay," he whispered softly. "You have to believe it's going to be okay."

"But I can't," she admitted tearfully. "I'm scared, Jack."

"We all are," he replied honestly, "but it's going to be okay. Believe me. It has to be." His throat tightened even as he said it.

Janet watched him move in to kiss Sam softy and felt her own throat constrict. This was it. The end of their time with Sam, the end of her friend's freedom. The end of Sam's newly-found and shortly-lived happiness in her new relationship..

Another contraction hit her and Jack moved his arm so he could massage the small of her back. He murmured soothing words of encouragement as Janet sat on the edge of the bed, the two of them coaching her through the worst of it.

"Jack, Sam," Daniel raced up the stairs and burst into the room, Teal'c not far behind him. "There's a ship," he gasped, slightly out of breath from his mad dash around the house. "Anubis is here!"

"We know," Jack nodded in acknowledgement but his concentration was focused mainly on the woman in his arms. "Did you get what Doc asked for?"

"Um, yeah." Daniel and Teal'c carried their loads over to the small table in the corner of the room and Janet walked over to them to examine what they'd found.

Leaning heavily against the colonel, Sam closed her eyes briefly, steeling herself for what was to come before turning her face towards him, her eyelids fluttering open. "Jack," she murmured hoarsely, bringing his wandering thoughts back to the present. "Promise me something."

"I promise I'll look after the baby," he responded immediately, bringing one of her hands to his lips and kissing her knuckles. "I promise I'll find you."

She smiled softly but shook her head. "I know.. It's not that." She continued quickly at the confusion in his eyes. "Promise me you'll talk to Daniel and Teal'c when this is all over. Don't shut them out. They know what it's like to lose someone to the Goa'uld and Daniel's been through this with Sha're.. Please don't try to handle it on your own because you really don't have to."

He nodded wordless, the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking. He moved a hand to her cheek to catch the tear she didn't know had fallen from her eye and pressed his lips against hers in another, slightly lingering kiss. He drew back momentarily, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, Carter."

She gave him a watery smile, wondering in a small part of her mind if he realised how often her surname slipped passed his lips. "I love you, too, Sir." The cheeky smile that accompanied the words faded and her grip on his arm tightened. "Jack."

"Breathe through it," he encouraged, massaging her back once again. "Just breathe, Sam. It'll all be over soon."

And that, he thought grimly, was the problem.

=*=

He held onto her when Janet announced it was time. Jack sat behind her, bracing himself and her for the moment the baby was born. What should have been one of the happiest days of his life was also one of the worst. Sam turned her head and looked at him, mouthing the words 'I love you' before closing her eyes and pushing for all she was worth.

The baby slid silently into the doctors awaiting arms and Janet quickly dealt with the umbilical cord before whisking it away.

The room was silent with the exception of Sam's heavy breathing.

Jack felt her shudder in his arms and didn't need to see the expression on her face or the horror on his friend's faces to know the Goa'uld was back.

"Where is my child?" Theia demanded, barely reacting when Jack moved from behind her and stood to the side. Her attention was solely focused on Janet, who was huddled over the infant at the table. "What have you done to it?"

"I've done nothing," Janet snapped impatiently, staring down at the baby as she massaged its chest, willing it to breathe. "I'm trying to save it." She pleaded with whatever force was out there to help her save the baby's life, knowing it would be one blow too many if they lost the child as well as its mother.

"I want to see it," Theia demanded. She locked eyes with the Colonel, seeing the disgust and the pain he tried to conceal from her. "Bring it to me," she ordered. "My child needs its mother."

"You're not its mother," Jack managed between ground teeth, telling himself over and over again that the woman staring at him was not the woman he loved but the enemy that had caused them so much pain. "The baby isn't yours," he repeated, his voice getting stronger. "And you're not taking it with you."

Theia snarled at him but said nothing else, her attention once again caught by the doctor working to save the life of her child. Her heart beat faster at the thought of never getting to hold it but she told herself that the pain she felt at the thought were her hosts feelings on the matter, not hers.

Before anyone else could speak, another presence filled the room. Anubis, in his holographic form. The Goa'uld's eyes swept over the others in a cool manner but it seemed he only had eyes for Theia.

"It is time for you to return home, my Queen," Anubis greeted her, his gravely voice sending shivers down Janet's spine as she tried to ignore everything else that was going on. "Where is the child?"

Theia lowered her gaze, waiting for the joy she'd expected to feel on seeing him again come. "My Lord Anubis, I have waited for you to return for us." She looked up at him then, hoping the look in her eye was imploring rather than fearful. "I regret that the child is still born, my Lord. I did my best but my host was determined to prevent us from taking the child."

Anubis stared at her for several long seconds. "You cannot blame yourself, Theia, nor can we dwell on this failure. " There was a smug smile in his voice when he spoke, Jack was sure of it. "There will be other opportunities and other children." He held out his hand and Theia rose to take it. "Come. Let us leave this place. I have much to tell you."

The moment their hands touched, the room was filled with a bright light and in the blink of an eye, Theia and Anubis were gone.

Several seconds after that, the baby wailed to life. Janet didn't know she was crying until a tear fell on the baby she started to wrap up in a clean sheet. Wiping her face, she took the baby in her arms and turned to find the three men staring at where Sam had been not minutes before.

"Colonel," she called out softly, walking towards him carefully as she clutched the child to her chest. She smiled tremulously when he looked at her with unfocused eyes. "Congratulation," she told him quietly, holding that baby out to him. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

Unable to speak, Jack moved his mouth soundlessly and took the squalling baby from her. Completely lost for words, he stared down at his daughter as he held her for the first time, barely noticing when her crying settled to the occasional whimper.

Sam was gone, he thought numbly, and he was left holding the baby.

=*=

It felt like years since Sam had gone but in reality it was only weeks. The child in his arms was testament to that.

Jack stood by the lake, cradling Megan in his arms, staring down at her face as she slept. He knew it was too early to tell for sure but he thought he could see Sam in her face. He hoped he could, he needed something to hold onto now she was gone.

The message had been sent through to Jacob that he had a granddaughter - and that his daughter was once again prisoner to the Goa'uld. Telling himself their chances of finding her had improved now they knew they were looking for the Goa'uld Theia was all he could do.

It was all any of them could do.

Teal'c and Daniel had left for Earth a week ago but Jack had remained on Edora with Megan and had decided to stay there until Doctor Fraiser announced she thought it was safe for a child so young to travel through the Stargate.

He held her like she was his lifeline because that was how it felt. He remembered what it felt to hold Charlie for the first time and compared it with holding Megan, realising that his feelings were intensified by knowing the little girl was the only link he had left to Sam, the only thing connecting them.

She was light years away, a slave in effect to Theia - and to Anubis. He did his best not to think about the other Goa'uld, telling himself she'd fight and try to make it easier for them to rescue her.

His hopes died a month later when their searches resulted in nothing but as he stood by the lake that day, they were still going strong in his head and in his heart.

"I promise, Megan," he whispered to the sleeping child. "I'll find your mother one day. We'll be together again, I promise."

"Colonel?" Her voice didn't take him by surprise. Janet had been visiting every couple of days - to check on him as much as the baby he was sure. He didn't jump at the sound of her voice and he didn't turn to face her or look in her direction. The little girl in his arms was the sole object of his attention. "I came to tell you it's safe for you to bring Megan home. She should be strong enough to make the trip through the Stargate and I've got a team waiting in the gateroom in case anything does go wrong."

Janet stared at his back for a few seconds, waiting for a response.

None came.

Sighing softly, she took a few steps closer and tentatively reached out to touch his arm. "General Hammond wants to talk to you as well. He's waiting for you to come home." Still no response. "He has a few questions for you. About Megan's paternity."

That got his attention.

Jack blinked to focus his eyes on something other than Megan and stared at her with an eyebrow raised. "Paternity? You did the tests?"

"Yes," Janet smiled slightly, her heart feeling a little lighter at the look on his face. The hope. "Congratulations, Sir. Megan is your daughter in every sense of the word." The smile slipped a little and she shrugged. "That's what General Hammond wants to talk to you about. Do you know what you're going to tell him?"

Jack's gaze wandered back to his daughter. Sam's daughter. The daughter they'd made together during their first night. A shadow of a grin played about on his lips. "Sam would be happy," he murmured softly. "It's what she wanted."

"Yes, it is." Her concern rising again, Janet exerted a little more pressure on his arm, trying to ease him into walking with her. "We have to go back, Sir. General Hammond will get concerned if we don't go back soon.."

"He can wait," Jack muttered, beguiled by the infant in his arms. His daughter. His biological daughter. The thought was enough to make the slowly spreading grin on his face last for more than just a few minutes.

Sam would be pleased, he thought to himself, staring down at Megan as she stirred and opened her eyes, blinking sleepily up at him. When she got home, he told himself, she'd be over the moon.

Their baby was theirs, for real. They didn't have to worry about the baby being a harcesis; they didn't have to worry too much about the NID coming to take it away.. At least he could put Sam's mind to rest about that, when they found her he could assure her Megan would be safe.

So would she.

He'd protect them with all that he had, even his life.

Jack was silent as Janet slowly encouraged him to start walking towards the Stargate. He stumbled twice but kept hold of the baby, staring down at her as she gazed back up at him with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. He cuddled her to his chest and looked up when they reached the stone circle, seeing for the first time the worry in Janet's eyes.

"I'm okay, Doc," he told her softly, a grin accompanying the words. "It's going to be okay." He looked ahead at the Stargate, ignoring the pang in his heart when he realised the last time he'd gone through it, he'd had Sam at his side. "Come on, Megan," he murmured to his daughter. "It's time to go home and start looking for your Mom."

With one hand, he dialled Earth's address on the DHD, refusing to let Janet take his daughter from him for even a second.

The Stargate came to life and Janet heaved a sigh of relief. She watched the Colonel carefully as he walked towards the event horizon, cradling Megan to him as though she were the most precious, most fragile thing in the world.

To him she was, Janet supposed as she followed at a slightly slower pace, pausing just before following him through to the other side to cast her gaze over the planet that had become his home.

The home he'd shared with Sam.

"I'll make sure they're okay, Sam," she promised aloud to her friend, hoping one day they'd see each other again. "I'll make sure they're okay for when you get home."

Stepping through the Stargate with hope in her heart, Janet was pleased to find both father and daughter had made the journey safely. She busied herself with making sure they were okay, pushing the doubt creeping into her mind away.

They *would* find Sam someday.

They had to, for Megan's sake. She needed her mother, and her mother needed to know she was alive.

=*=




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