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WARNINGS: Adult themes

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SPOILERS: Uh...don't think so...but it's set season 3.


Every time I think of her, I feel it.

Every time I see her, I feel it tugging at me.

It's like some kind of pull, like gravity or something, some invisible indefinable force that finds me always there, sitting by her, standing by her, just being there. Always there...with her.

Temptation is what it is. A terrible, black, swirling temptation that beats rhythmically in both my heart and my brain, trynna suck me in, push me over that edge, but I won't let it. I won't ever let it.

That's what I told myself, that's what I promised us, I won't ever let it...

Damn you Carter.

I...I won't...

I'm at hers, picking her up for a few drinks with the others, Daniel and Teal'c. I wasn't even meant to be picking her up, but for some reason plans were changed, and as usual I'm the last to know, just hearing about it in a last minute frantic phonecall as I opened my door. As soon as I put down that phone in its cradle I felt it. The pull, the tug, the temptation, the terrible temptation. I could have driven to her place with my eyes shut it's so damn powerful it would have led me straight to her door...and more if I let it...but I don't. I never do. I stamp it down and hold it there, in a bag in a locked box sealed in a lead trunk under the heel of my boot. It squirms, it squirms and kicks and screams and struggles but I don't let it out. I'm stronger than it you see, I'm its master, and it will not get the better of me, I will not let it.

So I arrive and ring her bell, and suddenly she's there...she's right there in front of me.

~You opened up your door I couldn't believe my luck You in your new blue dress Taking away my breath~

Her beautiful face is smiling softly at me, a hint of a blush on her cheeks, a striking pink on her lips, a sparkle in her eyes, and a long tapered dress made of the sheerest silky material, the colour that of her eyes, those damn bewitching eyes.

I think she looks damns sexy and feminine in her fatigues, and now? Now? God she takes my breath away. I must be the luckiest man in the world to be giving this woman a lift tonight.

I smile and greet her with a gruff rush of words, and we make for the door. Just as the fist whiff of her perfume reaches my dilated nostrils the phone shrills, and she leans gently in over it as she answers, her face falling as she talks, then says goodbye and hangs up.

~The cradle is soft and warm It couldn't do me no harm~

She speaks, her face showing the disappointment at an evening cancelled, but all I can think about is her eyes, her hair, her dress, her long, long legs. I know it's wrong, I know she's far too young for me, but all the bad things float away on a tide of raging hormones in my brain, and all I can think of is the reasons why it would be so right, so good. How could it possibly be wrong?

~You're showing me how to give Into temptation, knowing full well the earth will rebel Into temptation...~

She shrugs those pale shoulders, chasing that disappointment away, seemingly happy enough to be in my company. She offers me an evening with her instead, watch some movies, drink some beer, and I catch in the air and her words hidden meaning, and I know she feels it too, the temptation. We can't Carter...we just can't...

~A muddle of nervous words Could never amount to betrayal The sentence is all my own And the price is to watch it fail~

I say something, anything, a string of useless words I wouldn't even call a sentence and she laughs, she smiles, and I feel that tug in my chest, that never-ending pull to her arms. She offers coffee, beer, something, anything for me to stay, and I stand there, weighing risk and worth in my hands. Oh God if I did...if I did my career and hers would be over before I could whisper her name as I held her sweated body beneath mine...

~As I turn to go You looked at me for half a second With an open invitation, for me to go.~

I break the moment, I stamp my heel down firmly on those hidden feelings, and I turn and move for the car, but something stops me, some sirens call makes me turn, pulls me back, draws me to her, and her eyes make a time honoured offer. An offer of love, comfort, hunger sated, desires fulfilled, temptation, and though I try to resist, try to deny, she sees the same things reflected in my eyes.

The offer, the temptation, the choice.

~Into temptation, knowing full well the earth will rebel Into temptation, safe in the wide open arms of hell~

So I throw it all away.

~We can go, sailing in, Climb down Lose yourself, when you linger long Into temptation, right where you belong~

She takes out her key and opens the trunk, the box, and the bag, and I eagerly follow her in, follow her down, lose ourselves, give in to the terrible temptation. Hands and mouths join urgently, hungrily, and we damn ourselves just as we set each other free.

And slowly, wondrously, the night unfolds before us, and we welcome it with open arms, as we go in, into temptation.

And later, hours later, the fire dims slightly, though the embers are still aglow.

~The guilty get no sleep In the last slow hours of morning Experience is cheap I should have listened to the warning~

Nothing I've known could have prepared me for her. The way she wrapped herself around me, claimed me utterly from head to toe, body, mind and soul. And finally I lie here, lost for words and thoughts, with only guilt in my head, and I am guilty of betraying us both. I should have been strong, I should have, but oh God how was I supposed to resist her? Resist this? This...temptation?

~But the cradle is soft and warm~

Look at her, look at that heavenly face and that halo of golden hair. Look at that smile on those full engorged lips, and lastly that damned young face. And then she opens her eyes and looks at me, and once more I fall in, feeling that pull, that inescapable downwards tug, and that whirlpool of unchecked desire overpower me.

~Into temptation, knowing full well the earth will rebel Into her wide open arms, no way to break this spell~

Oh God and she takes me in her arms again, and we go there, we dance that dance, we tangle together in sweated sheets and I know there's no way out. I 'm caught, she's caught, and I don't think either of us will ever find our way back, and dammit I don't want to. We writhe as we give and take, and panic swamps me as I'm sucked under and the surface disappears from sight, from my reach.

~Break this spell~

I'm trapped...trapped forever in a spiral of heavenly pleasure and I wouldn' t run even if I could...even if I could.

And then as suddenly as it begun, it ends. We break the surface, come crashing down to reality and she sits up, covers up to her neck, hands over her mouth, and we simply stare at each other in silence.

Oh God what have we done, what have we done? Damn you temptation, damn you for never letting us go. Damn you for not giving us a chance in hell. And damn you for making me love her so.

What will we do now, what will we do?

~Don't tell~

Oh God Carter, please don't tell.

I won't if you won't.

We can forget this can't we? Run away and pretend it never happened? Forget the feel of her on me, under me? Forget her eyes, forget those whispered words, those undeniable truths?

But no matter what we do or say, it's there, I can feel it still. I feel it as my fingers find her cheek, and she leans into them, and once more we are surrounded by it. It touches us, swamps us, and we breathe it in, carried along in its wake, and I give into its terrible call as her lips meet mine.

Temptation...




**************************************** THE END ****************************************




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