"strumming my pain with his fingers
singing my life with his words
killing me softly with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life with his words
killing me softly with his song"
As Jack O'Neill's footsteps echoed down the corridor, Sam avoided Teal'c's gaze, fearing he would see the emotions overwhelming her.
Jack's stinging words echoed still in her thoughts as she made her way back to her quarters. At least here, alone, in solitude, her feelings could finally surface.
Angrily brushing the offending tears away from her cheeks, she stood, looking for something, anything, to hurl. She struck out at the bedside lamp; the sound of the bulb smashing against the cold floor returning her instantly to reality.
Cursing herself for caring too much, Sam realised the last three months of her life, spent trying to bring him home had been for nothing. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be on Edora, with Lara.
Shutting her eyes to the images of them together, she took a breath; work would again become her priority, as any hope of banishing her feelings for Jack would otherwise be impossible.
A quick check at her reflection in the mirror, and she bounded out of the room, determined never to let down her defences to Jack O'Neill again.
ONE MONTH LATER
O'Neill walked into the lab, observing Carter engrossed in some gadget or other he'd never seen before. He walked toward her tentatively; the past few weeks it was as if his second in command had been replaced; he didn't seem to be able to communicate with her anymore.
Sam heard footsteps; the welcoming smile on her face fading as she realised it was her commanding officer. Coldly watching him, she asked quietly, "Is there something I can help you with, sir? I'm kind of busy." Inside, her heart still skipped whenever he was in the same room. The battle between her true feelings and the front she maintained for the outside world was almost all-consuming; she lived in constant fear of the visage cracking.
Jack opened his mouth to speak; he'd come to expect the cold tone of her voice, still unsure of what he had done. He missed the friendship they had once had, and was at a point when he would do absolutely anything to gain even a fraction of it back.
Trying his lop-sided grin that once provoked at least a smile, all he was rewarded with was a cold, distant stare. The smile receded; he avoided her gaze. Back to square one. "I was just coming to tell you... there's a mission briefing in half an hour."
"I know." Sam turned back to her work, disinterested. Their conversation was over. Jack sighed, defeated, and left the room. As she heard the door click shut, she released the breath she'd been holding, and immediately her tears stained her face. Head in her hands, she sobbed quietly to herself.
"Hey, Sam-" She sat up quickly, eyes wide as Daniel's concerned face stared down at her.
"Daniel!" Wiping her tears away from her face, she tried to regain her composure, failing to hide the pain so clear for him to see.
Immediately closing the door behind him, he pulled a chair up to her desk and sat opposite her. She could feel Daniel's wide, caring eyes boring into her, until her tears once again fell.
"Tell me."
For a second, she contemplated telling him everything, but pride took over, stopping her from spilling her heart. "It's nothing, Daniel. Really. It's nothing..."
Daniel stared at her, then frowned a little, and began fiddling with a pen from her desk. "You know... I've just seen Jack leaving here... are you still not talking?"
Slumping on the desk, she rubbed her tired eyes. "I have to talk to him, Daniel. He's my C. O."
"I mean, really talking to him. He's your friend, Sam."
"Used to be." A silent sob escaped softly from her lips.
"He still is your friend. You just... don't let him in."
Immediately angry at his words, she fumed, "He made it quite clear he didn't want me to 'let him in.' What do you expect me to do?" She looked away bitterly. "I'm nothing to him but his second-in-command."
Daniel shook his head. "You're wrong, Sam. Jack misses you. I think he needs you. He wants things to be like they used to be between you."
"And he's told you that, has he? Things can't ever be the same after what he put me... us through. You know that." Sam avoided his gaze, knowing even an ounce of sympathy from her friend would lead to a cascade of tears all over again.
"But he said things to me, too. And I forgave him. I know he didn't mean them."
Sam stood, pacing the floor angrily. "How the hell do you know he didn't mean them? You think you know him so well?"
Daniel shifted uncomfortably, and began, "Well-"
Sam stopped pacing, standing before him. "I don't think any of us really know Jack O'Neill. I mean, when does he ever open up to any of us?"
"But if you'd let him-"
"I love him. What more can he want from me?"
Silence filled the room, Sam cursing herself and the words as they immediately left her lips. Slumping back down in her chair, she whispered, "At least, I used the think I did."
Daniel smiled sadly. "I know you love him, Sam. There's something between you, I-"
"No, Daniel. There used to be something between us. But after Edora... and the Black Ops mission... there's nothing between us now. Nothing."
Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself. There was nothing he could do, or say that would make Sam change her mind. The only ones who could work this thing out were Sam and Jack themselves. And now, looking at the sad expression on Sam's face, he didn't have the heart to push her into anything. Instead he placed a comforting hand on her arm. "It'll be okay, Sam. Just give it some time."
"I don't think-"
"Come on, Sam," Daniel stood up, standing behind her with his hand gently kneading her shoulder. "Don't tell me you don't miss him?"
Turning immediately at his touch, so closed her eyes, unable to hide her feelings any longer. "It's like... it's like there's a part of me missing," she made a gesture over her chest, "right here. I mean, I want to trust him again... it's just-"
"You're scared he'll hurt you again?" Daniel finished her sentence, sighing as she allowed herself to lull against him. "You know... Jack isn't good at expressing his emotions. If he can't bark an order, or organise something with military precision... he can't cope."
"And you have to explain everything else to him at least twice." Sam smiled, wistfully.
"And don't you love the blank look on his face when he's desperately trying to pretend he understands exactly what it is you're saying to him?" Daniel finished, stroking her hair.
Sam laughed softly. "Yeah."
Daniel smiled down at her. "And do you know who is almost as stubborn as Jack? Who also can't bear the thought of sharing their emotions... who'd much rather bottle it all up until they felt they couldn't cope anymore?"
"Who'd rather suffer, and make everyone else around her suffer, just for the sake of her pride and dignity? I know, I know. I'm sorry, Daniel."
"For what?"
Sam smiled at him, reminded of how good friends they had all, until recently been. She'd miss them all so much.
"For being such a pain in the ass?"
Daniel laughed at her, warmly accepting her hug as she leaned against him. "Tell you what. Next time Jack tries to make conversation with you, just listen, okay? For me?"
"Okay, Daniel. I'll try."
Daniel saw the distant look in her eyes, and worried for his friend. No matter what she said, he couldn't help but feel that Sam had all but given up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
General Hammond sat with SG-1 in the briefing room, waiting for Dr. Fraiser to arrive. The air was thick with hostility; he knew the animosity between O'Neill and Carter was still strong.
It was a lose, lose situation. He knew that if they continued to be icy toward each other it would affect the performance of the team. If they returned to their previous friendship, however, there would inevitably come a time when their feelings for each other would interfere with their missions and working relationship. Either way, his best team was falling apart.
Black Ops had been a success; he wondered how much it had contributed to the splintering of his number one team. He even felt responsible.
Dr. Fraiser arrived, breathlessly. "Sorry I'm late, everybody. Got a supplies crisis at the moment. Forgot the time."
"If everyone's ready, then?"
As General Hammond shuffled his papers, Jack ventured a smile across the table at Sam. To his surprise and relief, he saw the glimmers of a smile returned. Perhaps there was a little hope left there after all. The meeting went as expected; SG-1 was standing down for a further week, owing to regulations of one sort or another. They were basically on paid vacation, and the team was getting restless.
"Anyone have anything else to add?" General Hammond asked hesitantly, hoping to have ended the meeting at the very least in a better frame of mind.
"Actually, there is... one thing," Jack began, looking uneasily as they all stared back at him expectantly. "With all this free time on our hands... I was thinking about a barbecue? You know... a few friends... a few beers... a few burgers?"
"At your place?" Daniel asked, looking more than a little surprised. He knew Jack too well to see this as the casual affair he was presenting it as.
"Yeah, at my place. I was thinking... Sunday?"
"Sounds good," Daniel nodded. "Want us to bring anything?"
"No. Just yourselves. Teal'c? You in?"
Teal'c nodded his head.
Trying to keep the wince from his expression, he turned cautiously to Sam. "What about you, Carter?" He held his breath; all eyes turned to her, and she squirmed under their gaze.
"I... I'll try... I promised Martouf I'd pay him a visit."
Jack looked at her stunned. "You're going off-world?" Still squirming under the interrogation of his eyes, she looked anywhere but at him. "Is that a problem, sir?"
"No, no problem. I just didn't realise you and old Marty were so... close."
Awkwardly, she fidgeted with her collar, wanting to run for the room. She couldn't handle this now. She needed to get away from him. "We're not. I mean... he wants me to go over some stuff about Jolinar with him."
"But after the last time-"
"I can look after myself, sir." The determination set on her face in granite, waiting, daring for him to respond.
Jack coughed awkwardly. "Well... it'd be great if you can come."
Sam eyes grew bright. "Is that everything? I need to go pack." She'd been packed for days already, but she just had to get away.
Before General Hammond could speak she'd gone, and he just nodded, and left the room. Once out of earshot, Jack turned to Daniel. "You knew about this?"
"No! I didn't know."
"Why is she suddenly all pally with him, anyway?" The stubborn jealousy was barely hidden in his voice.
"I don't think-"
"I mean, I thought after everything we went through with Sokar and all-"
"You mean, you actually noticed what she went through, then?" Dr. Fraiser turned toward him, glaring.
"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I-"
"Colonel O'Neill... I really don't think you pay attention. You don't know what she's been through." Janet gathered her papers together, preparing to leave.
"I-"
"With Jolinar... all the memories... other things..."
"I know what she's been through." Jack shifted uncomfortably, turning to face her.
"Do you?" Sitting back down again, she regarded him coldly. "Do you know the extent of the stress she's been under lately? Most of which, by the way, is completely down to you!"
"For crying out loud, Doc! She's barely spoken to me in the past few months. How could-"
"Exactly. You don't hear her. You don't listen. All you do is give commands, follow instructions... without any consideration for those around you."
Daniel and Teal'c sat in silence, watching the tension rise between them.
"Are you gonna tell me what the hell you're talking about, or am I just gonna have to guess?"
Scowling at him furiously she stood, heading for the door. "Come with me, please Colonel."
Sighing loudly, he followed her out the room. "Where exactly are we going?"
"There's something I want to show you."
Jack sat impatiently in Janet's office, tapping his fingers irritably on the desk. Janet sat down before him, files in hand.
"I want you to take a look at these." She slammed them down on the desk in front of him.
Jack thumbed the documents gingerly, looking back up at her. "These are Major Carter's medical files. I don't think-"
"Take a look at the dates, Colonel, here." She pointed to a singular report.
"Says..." He frowned a little. "Says she collapsed. When - I was Edora then." He looked back up at her expectantly.
"Yes, Colonel. While you were busy creating a new life for yourself, Sam was working her ass off trying to get you home. She worked solidly for the three months you were gone. I had to remind her to eat. And after about ten weeks, she collapsed with exhaustion. We had to give her fluids intravenously, she was so dehydrated! And even then, when she could barely stand, she still worked relentlessly to fix that damn thing to get you home! I mean, didn't you even notice how thin she'd got? How pale?" Janet stared at him in utter disbelief.
Jack shook his head, his expression sullen. "No, I can't say I did."
"I know. After you came home, Sam came to me for a check up. Said you'd practically walked right through her when they came to rescue from that planet. I've never seen her so hurt."
"What? I-"
"And then, a couple of weeks later when she's barely recovered, you go off and do the 'Black Ops' thing, without so much as a word of confidence to her. Have you no respect for her at all?"
"But it was supposed to be that way! Carter knows that!" He slammed his fist angrily against the desk; this wasn't getting them anywhere.
"Yeah. She knows. Military protocol and all that bullshit." Janet closed her eyes tiredly, and they sat in an awkward silence.
"So," Jack ventured, minutes later. "What do I do?"
Janet laughed bitterly. "What are you asking me for? How the hell should I know how to regain someone's trust, after everything you've put her through?"
Realising her tone was a little too harsh, she added gently, "Do you have any idea how much she cares about you?"
Jack felt himself smile. "We're... that is, we were, good friends."
"And that's why she's hurting so much. You're in danger of losing her completely. And I don't just mean as a colleague."
Jack sat up straight. "Meaning?"
"Meaning... Sam is thinking of leaving SG-1. She's thinking of leaving Cheyenne Mountain altogether."
Jack's eyes grew wide. "What? She can't! She's needed here!"
"I know. But, Jack?" Janet smiled at him sadly. "I don't think she's been shown just how much she's needed for a long, long time. By the people that matter." She added, hoping to bring a little sense back to him.
Jack shook his head. "I don't know what to do. I - we can't lose her. She means to much to us... to me..." His voice trailed off, a rueful expression on his face.
"And that's exactly what she needs to hear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack arrived in the gate-room just in time to see the wormhole disappear. Teal'c and Daniel looked on, barely noticing his arrival until he skidded to a halt beside them.
"Where's Carter? She gone already?"
Daniel nodded. "She told me to say goodbye. Jack?"
"Yeah?"
Daniel closed his eyes, unwilling to say the words he was about to. "I don't think she's gonna come back."
"But... she has to come back. I need to talk to her. I have to tell her...stuff."
Teal'c turned to Jack, studying him curiously. "Is it not too late to ask her to return?"
Jack felt the lump in his throat rising, and fought to keep it under control. Shaking his head, he turned abruptly, leaving the room in search of General Hammond.
"General Hammond? I need permission to go through the Stargate, to retrieve Major Carter." Jack paused before him briefly to regain his breath as he peered down at him behind his desk.
Hammond raised his eyes from the paperwork he was studying and shook his head. "Sorry, son, you know I can't allow you to do that."
"But I've got to! I need to see her!"
Hammond returned to the papers before him, sighing sympathetically. "She doesn't want to see you, Jack." He raised his head just enough to see Jack's face drop.
"You knew she was planning on leaving? Why didn't you tell me?"
Hammond pursed his lips and shook his head. "Give it a week. Give her chance to cool down. Then, I'll authorise you to go."
"A week is too long! I need to go now. What's the big hold up?"
"She's exhausted, Jack. She needs a break. And being with her father is the best thing for her right now. Besides... if you have something to say to her, why leave it until now, until she leaves, to say it? You've had plenty of opportunity to talk."
Jack slumped in the chair in front of him. "I know. I know. I messed up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam smiled up at Martouf as he handed her a drink. She sipped it gratefully, savouring its warmth.
Martouf watched her soundlessly. "You seem troubled, Samantha."
Jack's face flashed in her mind; she pushed the image away. "No, I'm fine, Martouf. Just a little tired."
"Come, then, Samantha. You should rest." Taking her drink out of her hand, he pulled her to her feet, holding her hands affectionately.
Sam thought momentarily about pulling her hands away, but was too exhausted to care. Martouf led her to her sleeping chamber, pausing in the doorway as she settled herself on the soft mattress. "I will be right here... if you need anything." He waited until she closed her eyes, and silently left her to sleep.
Martouf approached Jacob Carter as he looked out at the night sky. He turned as he heard the younger man's footsteps. "How's my little girl? Is she resting?"
Martouf nodded, "I can sense she is troubled, but yes, she is resting."
Jacob turned away from him, returning his gaze to the stars. "She'll tell me in good time. One thing I know about my daughter is, you don't push her for information. When she's ready she'll come to me."
"I hope you are right," Martouf said, worriedly.
Jacob turned to him, smiling. "You like her, don't you?"
"Yes."
Jacob watched him leave, sighing. "Pity, I think she's fallen for her C. O."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TWO DAYS LATER
Sam sat with her father, toying with the food on her plate. Jacob watched her, concerned by her silence; she'd been with him two days, and he'd barely heard her utter a word. "Where's Martouf taking you today?"
Sam looked up. "Nowhere. I was thinking of going home."
"Oh?"
"I've realised I can't stay. There's somewhere I have to be."
Jacob smiled at her knowingly. "Does this, by any chance, have something to do with Jack O'Neill?"
"No. Should it?"
"Come on Sam! I know you! I've seen the way you are together."
Sam looked away. "That was a long time ago. A lot's happened since then."
"Are you going to tell me about it?"
Sam shook her head. "Not yet. It's still all to muddled in my head. I have to figure things out, first."
Placing a comforting hand over her own, he whispered, "Don't leave it too long, okay? Promise me?"
Her eyes grew bright, and she hugged him fiercely, before he could see the emotions on her face. The warmth and comfort she felt from her father was a huge relief. All the pain, all the anger started to melt away as she was tucked safely in his embrace. "Oh, Dad," she sighed heavily, "I don't know what to do anymore."
He ran his fingers through her hair as she laid against his shoulder. "Sweetheart, you are the most level headed person I know," he smiled. "you get that from your mother."
Sam smiled against him, feeling slightly less confused. "I wish she was still here."
"So do I, Sammy," he said into her hair. "So do I."
Sam started to pull back from her father to look into his eyes; she saw the pain mirrored her own. The solution to the nightmare she'd been living in was finally coming to her. If she wanted to avoid the same sad eyes that looked back at her, she would have to do something about it.
"Oh. Dad, it's all such a mess," her voice was heavy with emotion as she stroked his hands.
"Talk to me," he said softly. Sam looked up into his eyes.
"You'll be so ashamed of me, Dad," as she spoke, the tears welled up. Her hand came up to wipe them away.
"How could I ever be ashamed of my baby girl?" he smiled patting her hand. "You and your brother are the most important people in my life."
"I've gone against everything you ever taught me, Dad," she sniffed. "I've let you down."
"Since when have you ever let me down?"
Sam closed her eyes briefly, closing them to the inevitable disappointment she would see from her father when she told him.
"Sam?" he repeated, his eyes searching her face.
"I let my guard down." Her words came out in a burdened sigh, as she looked down at their hands. "I became too involved, and now I'm in a mess."
"It's Jack O'Neill." he asked again, repeating his earlier question. "Isn't it?"
Sam let a lone tear break free to roll down her face as she thought of the Colonel's face. The way he made her feel inside. The way he made her laugh. Looking back to her father she just nodded.
"You're in love with him." He stated to her simply. Sam was a little surprised at his words but nodded anyway.
"So does he return your feelings for him?"
"He doesn't know," she whispered. "Besides the fact that it's against regulations, I have never had the courage to tell him before. But now I know he doesn't, he never will. It doesn't matter now."
"What happened sweetheart?" he asked softly moving her into his embrace again.
She leant into him, at last feeling the need to tell him everything.
"We all gated to a planet called Edora. There was this woman there. I knew instantly that she was attracted to him by the way she spoke to him..."
Jacob sat and listened to the whole story. He stopped to hold her when it became too difficult to talk, as Sam let her tears flow freely. He wanted to go to Jack O'Neill and tell him exactly what he thought of him for hurting his daughter, but at the same time he knew that these two kids were so right for each other. "Know what I think?" he said when she stopped talking.
Sam moved her head against his shoulder to look up at him. "What?"
"I think you should go back and talk to him, at least hear what he has to say."
"And what do I do when he walks away from me like he did the last time? What do I say to him when he says something hurtful and leaves me again?" She sat up, shaking her head. "I don't know how much more I can take right now."
"How will you know if you don't try?" he asked her.
"Listen, Sam, don't lose the chance to have something special like I did. I loved your mother, but never told her as often as I should have. Yes, Jack might reject you. And, he might just say he feels the same way about you."
"I don't know," she sighed heavily.
"If you feel you need to come back if the answer isn't what you're looking for, then I'll be here for you."
She was about to reply when Martouf stepped forward from the shadows "Forgive my intrusion," he spoke softly, "but I could not help but overhear."
"Martouf," Sam began, shaking her head.
"Samantha, I understand your pain. I know these feelings you keep locked inside you. Colonel O'Neill is a fool if he does not love you."
"Thanks, Martouf," she smiled slightly embarrassed.
"It is my pleasure, Samantha, I will always be honoured to greet your arrival." He held out his hand.
"I would like to show you the new tunnels, if that is agreeable with you both."
"We were finished anyhow." Jacob smiled. "Go on Sam, it'll take your mind off things."
"Ok, Dad." She smiled, leaning over to kiss him on his cheek. "Thank you."
"Anytime, Sammy," he said as he stood with her. He looked on as Martouf led Sam to the new tunnels, noticing his daughter keeping a good distance from the Tok'ra.
< I can see problems ahead Jacob> Selmak told him worriedly.
'I know. I think Martouf will be disappointed that she won't stay with him.'
'No, but then I really don't know if she'll stay with O'Neill either.'
'Easier said than done my friend,' he thought sadly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack O'Neill looked up into the starry sky through his telescope. He was cold, but he didn't care.
"Jack," Daniel called from the house. "You up there?"
"Here, Daniel," he shouted.
Daniel climbed the ladder to the roof in search of his friend. It seemed that Jack spent most of his time up here since Sam left.
"So?" Daniel mused. "What ya doin?"
Jack looked around at the younger man. "I'm spying on my neighbours new car! What d'you think I'm doing?"
Shuffling his feet, Daniel looked about him. "You miss her, don't you?"
Jack sighed and turned his head back to the sky. A woman's face slipped into his mind. She was smiling at him, in the way she used to. Without turning around he nodded, "I miss her."
"So you gonna tell her?" Daniel asked as he came to stand beside him.
"She won't even stay in the same room as me, how the hell do I tell her anything?" he answered angrily.
"Jack," Daniel touched his shoulder reassuringly. "You have to make her listen to you. You have to make her understand."
"I don't know how, Daniel. All I know is that she scares the hell out of me."
Daniel let out a small chuckle. As Jack turned to stare at him angrily he covered his mouth with his hand. Jack turned away from his star gazing and walked back to the chairs on his roof and opened a beer, gesturing for Daniel to do the same.
"You know what I don't get?" Daniel asked.
"What?"
Daniel took a swig of his beer, wincing at the taste. "Why am I drinking this?"
"Is that what you don't get, Danny boy?" Jack asked, amusement shining from his eyes.
"Funny! No, what I don't get is how too people so obviously crazy about each other are making each other so miserable." He took another swig from the bottle, grimacing again. "That's what I think."
"You think too much, Daniel."
"And you're avoiding the subject."
"What do you want me to say? Yeah, I go walking right up to her and say there's a meeting and, oh, by the way, I think I'm in love with you?" Jack downed the rest of his beer and reached for another one.
Daniel grinned happily. "So you love her?"
"I never said that."
"Yes you did. I distinctly heard you say you loved her."
"No Daniel," he protested. "I said I 'thought' I loved her, that doesn't mean I am in love with her, or does it mean...." He looked over at his friend who was still grinning. "Oh be quiet, Daniel."
"You're just mad 'cos you know I'm right."
"Have another beer, Daniel," Jack mumbled.
He held up the half drunk bottle. "Got enough with this one thanks." They sat in silence, neither knowing what to say.
"I really messed up, didn't I?" Jack finally spoke.
"You hurt her."
"I know I did. I really didn't mean to, I mean I'd never knowingly..." he stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat.
"The day she left, she started to tell me some of what you'd said to her. We got so far and then she just clammed up," Daniel looked down at the bottle in his hand. "What did you do Jack? It must have been bad for her to run away."
"I was a jerk. A total, utter jerk." Jack looked at the bottle in his hand and threw it angrily. It smashed into tiny pieces with a loud crash.
"She has been down for a long time," Daniel spoke softly, "Ever since you came back from Edora she's been walking around like a zombie."
"I know she's been tired..."
"She's been exhausted Jack! She worked day and night to bring you home, and then you end up hurting her for her troubles." He leaned back into his chair looking over at his friend. "What did you say to her?"
"When?"
"I don't know when, all I know is that you said something that really hurt her. She said she could never trust you to not hurt her again."
"When did she say that? I never..." then he remembered. "Oh God!"
"What?" Daniel sat forward, instantly alert.
"I think I know what I did," he stood up and began moving to the ladder.
"Wait! Where you going?"
"To see the General. I have to see Sam."
Daniel followed him down the ladder. "Is that wise? Think about it Jack, you could end up causing her more pain if you rush in feet first now."
"I have to make it right, Daniel," he said pulling on his jacket.
"JACK! STOP!" Daniel shouted loud enough to stop the other man's movements. "She needs time. If you go there now she may never come back. You can't make it right with words alone."
Jack stopped what he was doing, hearing the words wash over him. '...I haven't been acting myself since I met you, now I'm acting like myself...' The words haunted him. He'd seen the pain in her eyes and he'd wanted to go to her and engulf her in his arms and tell her he didn't mean to be so nasty to her, that it was all an act. His mind had been screaming at him to run after her, to comfort her. But he did the damn opposite and did the Black Ops thing, hurting her more than he ever thought he could. He slumped down into a chair miserably.
"She'll come back to you, Jack, she always does for you."
Jack combed his fingers through his hair and slouched forward. "I miss her Daniel. I want things to be the way they used to be, before I... before Lara."
"I think your relationship with Lara is a major problem for Sam."
"I have no relationship with Lara, Daniel." Jack sat up a little straighter in his chair. "We were just friends."
"You slept with her, Jack. You don't usually do that with friends," Daniel was becoming a little tired of getting nowhere. "Look, bottom line is, you have to make Sam trust you again before either of you can move forward. She needs time and you have to give it to her, not push her to tell you or you'll end up pushing her so far away she'll leave all of us for good."
Jack closed his eyes sadly and laid back in his chair. A life without Sam? It was too hard to even imagine it. Daniel was right, he had to be patient. He owed it to Sam to not screw up this time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This is amazing, Martouf!" Sam gasped at her surroundings. It never ceased to amaze her, the beautiful formations of new tunnels. It reminded her over and over again of the individuality and power of the Tok'ra. She was in awe.
Martouf smiled, happy that at least temporarily, her mind was with him. He took her hand, walking further along the tunnels. "It is beautiful, is it not?"
Sam nodded in agreement. "It is."
Turning toward her, he whispered, "As are you."
Immediately uncomfortable, she smiled awkwardly, pulling away from him and walking ahead. He stared at her in frustration, angry at himself for wanting more from her than she was willing to give him.
"Have I done something to offend you, Samantha?"
"No! Of course not!"
"Then why do you walk away from me?" Martouf reached out his hand, pulling her gently toward him. Caressing her cheek, he looked deep into her eyes. "I care about you, Samantha."
Sam smiled at him, a little uneasy at his closeness. "I care about you, too."
"I would do anything for you."
"I know."
Before either of them knew what was happening, Martouf cupped her face in his hands, pulling her lips to his. Sam gasped, pulling away from him. "Samantha?"
"I can't, Martouf! I'm sorry, I can't!" Sam ran down the tunnels, leaving Martouf to watch her sadly. She packed her things together quickly, cramming everything in to her small back-pack. Stopping momentarily, she thought of her father, before heading for the Stargate.
Instinctively, Jacob was waiting for her. Selmak had been sure that she would want to return home, and he didn't want to risk her leaving without re-inforcing his belief that she was doing the right thing. "Dad!" she exclaimed, breathlessly.
Jacob smiled at her knowingly, pulling her into his arms before she could say a word. "You do whatever you have to, you hear me? Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Promise me?"
"I promise, Dad. I'll contact you soon, okay?"
"You'd better! Take care, Sam. I hope you get what you want," he added, patting her softly on the back.
They walked toward the DHD, still holding each other. He watched her silently as she went through the Stargate, wishing as hard as he could for things to turn out right for his baby girl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack looked up at the sky, sighing to himself. Sam was out there somewhere. And she should be here, with him. They needed each other. They needed to talk. If nothing else, the hostility between them had become unbearable, and they needed to clear the air. Swigging back his beer, he looked at the bottle in his hand, and peered over the edge of his roof to the trash can below, which was full of empty bottles, discarded pizza boxes and other take-away cartons. With SG-1 standing down, unsure of its future, Jack had barely left the house since Sam had left Earth. God, I'm a mess, he thought to himself. He felt the stubble growing on his face, and ran his fingers through his in-need-of-a-wash hair. Even his clothing screamed to be changed.
Closing his eyes, he realised he didn't even care, not right now. Sighing, Jack looked back up at the star-lit sky, whispering, "Where are you, Sam?"
Shaking his head at himself for foolishly waiting for a reply, he threw the bottle he still clutched distastefully to the floor, and climbed down the ladder, swearing at himself as he missed the bottom rung and fell awkwardly to the ground. Pulling himself back up, he hobbled painfully inside. Cursing himself over and over, he grabbed some ice and wrapped it in a towel, pressing it against his now swelling sprained ankle.
He'd been through the Stargate God knew how many times, and one miscalculated step off his own ladder...
Slumping down on the couch, he rubbed his eyes painfully, and reached for the TV remote. The remnants of his beer and pizza tasted foul in his mouth, but he couldn't drag himself to the kitchen to do anything else about it. Instead, he huddled further down on the couch, and drifted off into yet another night of guilt-ridden sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel walked breathlessly through the corridors of Cheyenne Mountain, heading for the briefing room. His heart had been pounding since the minute Sam had called him, telling him she was back.
Whether she was back to stay, he knew, would depend entirely on Jack.
He still hadn't been able to get in contact with Jack; he presumed he'd either gone away somewhere, or he'd taken his phone off the hook. He wouldn't let anyone know how bad he was feeling, and Daniel was increasingly worried about him. But, with Sam back now, perhaps things could start getting back to normal.
Hearing voices inside the room, he swung the door open and visibly sighed in relief as Sam smiled up at him from where she was sitting.
"Hey, Sam!"
She barely had chance to stand before Daniel was hugging her fiercely, and she laughed when he eventually pulled away, his glasses strewn across his face. Gently she re-positioned them, and took his hands in her own.
"Hi, Daniel. It's good to see you."
Daniel squeezed her hands firmly. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. I mean..."
Sam nodded softly. "I know. I did leave in kind of a hurry, didn't I?"
He shifted slightly, still holding her hands tight. "The word 'tornado' springs to mind, now that you mention it."
General Hammond looked on at them, glad to see the friendship they once had still remained firmly intact. He smiled across the table at Dr. Fraiser, who sighed heavily, a smile permanently fixed on her face.
"Samantha Carter." Teal'c stood in the doorway, his eyes wide, and the beginnings of a smile on his face.
"Hi, Teal'c." Sam walked toward him, and he placed a warm hand on her shoulder. Sam covered his hand with her own, squeezing it gently.
"I am glad that you have returned."
"Me, too, Teal'c. Me, too."
The Jafar raised his eyes to Daniel. "Have you not been in contact with Jack O'Neill?"
Daniel shook his head. "He's not answering his phone, and the answer-machine's off." He watched Sam's complexion pale at the mention of Jack, and added quickly, "I'm sure he's fine."
Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. He can take care of himself."
As Sam sat down and General Hammond cleared his throat in preparation for the opening of the meeting, Daniel pulled a chair beside her, and sighed softly. "You okay?"
"Just glad to see you." He smiled at her, barely disguising the emotion in his voice. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me? We already have one person who shuts us out constantly.... please don't keep doing it too."
Sam smiled, her eyes bright with emotion. "I won't. I promise."
"And Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"What you said about Jack being able to take care of himself?"
Sam nodded.
"Don't be so sure....................."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam sat curled up in the corner of her couch, smiling through her tears as she looked at her only remaining photographs of her parents together. They looked so happy, so content... could she ever find happiness like that? With Jack?
Sighing deeply, Sam closed her eyes, slumping her head back against the couch.
Daniel said no one had heard from him for almost a week. He was never completely inaccessible, even if he was guarded with his feelings, and she felt at least in part, responsible for whatever it was he was dealing with. She knew the others had given him a hard time over the way he'd treated her; and she was annoyed, mainly at herself, for not being able to confront him with what she was feeling. She'd never had to rely on anyone else to fight her battles, and sure as hell wasn't about to start now.
Her apartment felt so small, as if the very walls were closing in around her. She'd already cleaned and polished everything in sight. She was so eager to find something to distract her from the inevitable that she'd even considered alphabetising her CDs. And she'd only been back on earth a few hours.
The rain beat heavy on her windows. It was already dark outside, and it was barely evening. She watched the world go by her window momentarily, then instilled her courage, and prepared to leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For crying out loud!" Jack cursed himself for the hundredth time that day; he was so clumsy with his ankle swollen to the size of a balloon. Knocking it against the corner of the coffee table did not help in the slightest, but he still refused to admit defeat and go back to the infirmary.
Jack was good at punishing himself; he'd retreated like this after numerous mistakes. Thing was, he thought he'd stopped making so many. But this was the mother of all mistakes.
Not only had he put the trust and integrity of his team on the line, in doing so jeopardising their closeness and friendship, he had also managed to alienate the one person since Sara who had actually taken the time to care about him.
Now, Sam was as far as she could be from him, possibly starting a new life on another planet.
Jack reached awkwardly for the Scotch on the table, swigging it back in one gulp. He ran his hand through his wet hair; earlier he'd decided that taking a hot bath might ease his swollen ankle, but slipping on a wet towel had only made it worse. His face now sported thick stubble, but at least he felt cleaner, and had changed his clothes. His left jean-leg was rolled to below the knee, as even the slightest pressure on his ankle caused extreme pain.
He patted his stomach disinterestedly; he hadn't really eaten anything in the past week. The last time he'd felt this low was when his son had died. Closing his eyes to the images of Charlie, his mind instantly replaced them with images of Sam.
A loud knock on the door, and he groaned. "I'm fine, Daniel. I just got some stuff to do, so if you don't mind leaving me to it," he called out tiredly. Daniel had knocked on his door every day since he'd unplugged his phone. He just didn't want the intrusion, the sympathy, the advice.
The knocking continued, somewhat louder. "Can't you take a hint?" Jack felt his voice cracking; he couldn't cope with seeing anyone right now. He knew that if he let them inside his house, he would inevitably be letting his barriers down and letting them inside his emotions. He couldn't deal with that. "Daniel! For god's sake. Leave me-"
"It's not Daniel. It's me... Sam."
Sam? It couldn't be! Sam was... "Are you planning on letting me in, sir? It's freezing out here!"
Jack scrambled quickly to his feet, and yelled in pain as his ankle protested. Hearing the thud inside, Sam pounded on the door heavily. "Sir?"
"Just a minute!"
Sam heard another series of thuds and bangs, before she heard a thump against the door, and scrambling for the locks.
Jack hauled himself up the door, pausing briefly for a breath. His heart pounding heavy in his chest, he creaked the door open slowly to reveal Sam standing, shivering on his doorstep.
"Sam?" his voice was barely a hushed whisper.
Sam stopped shivering when the withdrawn image of her commanding officer stood before her. "Sir?"
Jack stared at her open-mouthed. He'd forgot how amazing she looked, and she quite literally took his breath away when she pushed the door open to let herself in, knocking him to the floor.
"Ow?" Jack winced up at her half-heartedly, cradling his ankle.
"What have you done?"
"I had a little accident."
"When?" Sam helped him to his feet, and he leaned against her, needing her support to get him back to the couch.
"Oh... last night."
Sam glared at him. "Last night! Sir! There could be some damage done!"
"You're telling me!"
She pulled a sympathetic face as she surveyed the injury; it was blue/purple, and swollen badly.
"And why haven't you let Dr. Fraiser look at this?"
Jack winced as her delicate fingers touched his wound. "Haven't been back to the base in... a few days."
Sam nodded. "I heard that. You know... people are worried about you."
"People?"
She looked up at his pained expression, concentrating back on his ankle. "Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, Dr. Fraiser. Everybody."
Jack reasoned that the pain he was suffering was making him brave. "Even you?"
Sam looked at him again, a quizzical look. "Why 'even me'? Of course I was concerned. I know not having anything to do makes you stir crazy."
Jack didn't know whether to laugh or cry at her avoidance. He hissed as she tried to straighten his leg slightly. "So, Carter? What do you think? Broken? Sprained?"
"Well, I doubt it's broken, there's too much movement. I think you should probably get Dr. Fraiser to check it over."
"Can't you put a splint on it?"
Sam smiled at him; a genuine, warm smile that she'd once reserved only for him. "You know how terrible I am at that, sir."
"Jack. Okay? It's Jack. We're not working... we're not on the base. And yes, I do remember your bedside manner left a little to be desired... but I think you may be more gentle with me than old Doc Fraiser." He raised his head a little to watch her fingers working delicately around his ankle, and caught the confused expression on his face.
Reaching across for the Scotch bottle still half full on the table, he laughed bitterly. "Hadn't you heard? I'm number one enemy right now. Seems everyone's got something to say to me... except you."
Sam avoided his gaze, instead standing to search for some bandages. "Do you have a first aid kit around here?"
Jack nodded, still clutching his drink. "Sure. Second kitchen cabinet, on the left. Big green thing. Got it?"
"Yeah."
"You don't have to do this."
"Well, you've got to do something to it. I mean, if you keep knocking it before Janet gets to look at it-"
"It's fine, Carter."
"Sam. It's Sam, okay? Like you said, we're off duty and all that... and it's not fine. If you leave it much longer, you'll cause permanent damage."
"Hah! My speciality. Leave something to fester for long enough, and make it even worse. Perhaps I should get a patent or something."
"Well, aren't we in fine spirits? Or should I rephrase that to just spirits?" She looked about at the house; it was a mess, completely out of character for the usually houseproud O'Neill.
Jack scowled at her, downing the rest of the Scotch before she could take it off him.
Pulling his bandages a little tighter than was necessary she scowled across at him. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Just today? Or are we talking all week?"
"That's it. Come on, up you get."
"What?"
Sam pulled to his feet, heading slowly for the stairs. "You need some sleep. I'll help you upstairs, and then I'll go. You obviously have a lot more feeling sorry for yourself to do."
Jack stumbled slightly, one arm around her shoulders, the other clasping onto her waist.
They made it up the stairs eventually, Sam fearing he'd pull them both down. Finally she managed to slump him onto his bed. The curtains looked like they hadn't been drawn in days, and dirty laundry overflowed the linen basket in the corner.
Sam watched him angrily; she'd come here to talk, to listen, maybe get a little understanding. In this state he wasn't any use to anyone. Sighing heavily, she turned, pausing in the doorway as she heard a muffled sob. Turning back afraid as to what she would find, she found him gently sobbing into his pillow. She guessed he'd consumed a lot of alcohol over the past few days; that would be the only explanation as to why he, Jack O'Neill, exempt of all feelings, would be laying here crying to himself.
"Sir?" It was uncomfortable to witness someone you relied on totally falling apart before your very eyes. His sobbing continued; at least it wasn't some big, girly sob, she reasoned, at least it was jagged and refrained. Edging quietly toward the bed, she sat awkwardly. Jack looked up at her slowly; his eyes looked sorrowful, and she doubted he'd slept much lately if the bags beneath his eyes were anything to go by.
"Sam..." His speech was slurred, but he remained reasonably lucid.
"Yeah?"
"God...I'm glad you're back. I thought... I thought you'd gone for good."
"Well,"
"Sam? I miss you." Sam felt her own features crumbling, but thankfully she heard the faintest of snoring, and sighed visibly as she realised he was asleep.
She rested a hand on his head briefly, closing her eyes. She couldn't leave him like this. He didn't have anybody to take care of him, mostly his own doing, but she couldn't bear the thought of him suffering alone. Deciding the curtains could remain closed for a little longer, she wedged as much as she could into the linen basket and headed downstairs.
Domesticity was something that came naturally for her; once her mother had died, she'd become the one to help with the cooking and cleaning, and pretty soon took over the duties. She started a load of washing, then, began collecting all the discarded cartons and bottles that covered all the kitchen surfaces.
It was almost midnight when she loaded the dishwasher. The place was practically spotless, although the trash can outside was in desperate need of being emptied. Yawning loudly, she slumped down on the couch, promising herself ten minutes of rest before she headed home. Jack could come to her when he was ready. Within minutes she was sound asleep.
Jack awoke, mumbling to himself and trying to focus on the alarm clock: 02:09 am. "Oh, hell."
Jack cradled his head in his hands. What another successful evening he'd had. The woman he loved had returned from another planet, come to see him and administered to his pains, and in return he played the drunken slob. Okay, slight exaggeration, he reasoned. But she would be long gone by now. Or perhaps he'd dreamt the whole thing?
Jack flipped onto his back, peering down through the darkness. Nope. There was a bandage on his ankle, and he sure as hell couldn't have put it there. Swinging his legs painfully over the side of the bed, he headed downstairs, needing to clear the fuzzy taste from his mouth. Hopping down the stairs whilst only half-awake proved interesting; even more interesting was the fact that he'd left the place in a mess, if he remembered correctly.
He looked around him, walking into the kitchen and switching off the dishwasher. Nope. Hadn't put that on. Half filling a glass with water, he downed it greedily, and reset it on the draining board. Turning around uneasily, he heard soft breathing; his eyes fell to the couch, and immediately his heart melted.
Sam lay, sound asleep, curled up in a ball. She hadn't left! Silently hobbling across the room, he reached for a blanket he'd left on a nearby chair, and began tucking it in around her.
"Dad?" Pausing momentarily, he watched as her eyes opened slowly, focusing on him. "Sir?"
"No. Jack."
Sam groaned, rubbing her eyes ."What time is it? I should got home. You need to rest."
"I'm fine."
"Okay, then. I need to rest."
Jack nodded toward the window. "It's still raining, Sam. You can sleep here, for tonight."
Sam sat up, awkwardly. "Okay."
"I might even hire you as my housekeeper! This place looks great. Thank you,"
Sam shrugged, brushing off the importance of her gesture.
"So, you gonna stay?"
"Okay."
"Good. Well, I don't know about you... but I could use some cocoa?"
Sam eyed him curiously. "Okay?"
"Good." Jack hobbled off to the kitchen, trying to remain calm. Okay, think, Jack, think! He had her in his presence, alone, for what must have been the first time in months, and he didn't know what to do. Scared of doing or saying the wrong thing, he thought staying out of sight might be the best plan of action.
"I missed you too, Jack."
Jack dropped the jar of cocoa onto the side with a loud clatter, and turned awkwardly on his heel. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with her, and so instead set a pan on the stove to heat the milk he'd just got out the refrigerator; at least the milkman was still talking to him.
"Yeah?" He was half-expecting her to say 'no', but still strained his ear to hear anything she might say. Sam moved beside him, leaning back against the counter. Uncertainly, she placed a hand on his arm. Her touch weakened his resolve; his eyes found hers, and both found tears and fear of rejection in the each other's.
Jack saw her lip quiver, and pulled her into his arms, hugging her fiercely. Their tears fell freely, as Jack smelt her hair and held her ever tighter, and Sam buried her face in his shoulder, looping her arms protectively around him.
Gently they swayed, both scared to pull away for fear of waking from their dreams. "I missed you so much! I-"
"I thought I'd lost you."
"You won't lose me."
Finally as their sobs subsided, Sam rubbed her hand across his back, and spoke into his shoulder. "I think the milk's boiling over."
"Who cares?"
Jack refused to let her go, clinging to her ever tighter.
"It doesn't smell so good."
Jack fumbled behind her, turning off the hob. "Still not caring!"
His arms looped around her waist, allowing her a little distance from him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he rested his chin on her forehead. Sam immediately started giggling.
"You tickle! When did you shave last?" She reached up, rubbing his newly grown beard.
"Can't remember." He kissed her forehead, leaning his head against hers. "Don't you like?"
"Uh..."
"I'll take that as a 'no' shall I?"
"I'm sorry, sir. I'm just used to seeing you clean-shaven."
"Jack."
"I know. I keep forgetting."
"You know, that's the first time I've heard you laugh in a long time."
Sam looked into his eyes, nodding. "I know."
A pained expression crossed his face momentarily. "You still want cocoa? Only I don't know if I can stand like this for much longer."
Leaning closer to his ear she whispered, "Go and sit down. I'll finish this off."
Jack reluctantly let go of her, and made his way back to the couch. Sam followed him in a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of cocoa.
Sitting huddled together, they continued to stare at each other almost in wonder. Jack sipped his drink and sighed, Sam blowing hers to cool it slightly. They sat in silence, the words that needed to be said still not ready to surface. As they finished their drinks, Sam leant to put the mugs on the table, and sank back down beside him.
Jack reached for her hand, entwining her fingers in his own. "I know it's a little late for sorry, but you have to know that I am."
Sam watched their hands tangled together, and nodded. "I would never, ever, knowingly hurt you, you know that, don't you?"
Sam nodded again, not able to look at him. "What happened on Edora, with Lara... it was a mistake. My mistake. I guess the thought of ever seeing home again... seeing you again... made me lose it for a while."
Sam felt her tears stinging in her eyes again. "And when you came to rescue me... I was in shock. I'm not used to people working that hard to get me home. Apart from you," he added, gently caressing away her tears with his thumb. "I didn't thank you. I don't think I knew how. I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but..." His hand remained cupping her face.
"I never thought I'd see you again. I lay awake for almost every night I was away, thinking... mainly about you." He smiled sadly at the memory. "I remember dozing off to sleep, thinking about you, and Daniel, and Teal'c... you guys are my closest friends. And I truly trust you with my life. Despite what you may think. You know I had to keep you out of the look on that Black Ops thing, don't you?"
She nodded, still crying. Seeing her tears released more of his own. "I hate the thought that I hurt you, Sam! I hate the thought that you got so ill because of me."
"I wasn't that ill."
Jack shook his head, "I saw your medical reports. No one has ever gone through so much for me."
"You are my commanding officer... and my friend..."
Jack closed his eyes, his face contorted by his emotions. "And I wish there was something I could do, or say, to win back your trust. I know it's gonna take time, but-"
"You have my trust, Jack. You always had my trust."
"Even after everything I put you through? The things I said?"
"I know you had to do what you did, for that mission."
"But I should have explained myself."
"I know you didn't mean what you said."
He stopped speaking, and shook his head. "But I did! Sort of. I did mean what I said! Just not in the way it came across."
Sam frowned a little. "I don't understand-"
"It's you, Sam! Since we began working together, I have changed, because of you." He laughed softly. "When I was in Iraq, I lost all faith and trust in my colleagues. I thought I had to rely on myself and myself alone. You helped me regain that trust. I trust you with my life."
Jack released her hand, putting it around her and pulling her closer. "I never could have wanted for a better second-in-command."
"Thank you."
Jack leaned down to kiss her forehead again, sighing happily as she shifted closer to him, looping her hand around the waistband of his jeans.
"Plus, I have to thank you, I think, for my new found feminine side. I mean, not many people can sit here and make me bawl my eyes out. I'm thinking of taking up knitting. Is that down to you, too?"
Sam giggled; he was back. "I've been walking around like I'm lost for so long... I thought you'd lost all faith in me... that you were angry with me for bringing you back."
"In a million years I could never lose my faith in you. You are the most amazing woman I have ever known."
Sam felt her heart pounding. "Apart from Daniel, that is."
Stifling another giggle, she looked at him happily. "That's not fair."
"But very true."
Sam traced a finger around his eyes, smiling wistfully. "Even when you were back, I missed this."
"Because we always used to snuggle up together in the small hours of the morning with a cup of good cocoa."
"I mean... I missed the joking, the laughing... I missed all of it. I just didn't know how to get close to you again."
"Well, now, theoretically, we're not supposed to be that close anyway. According to protocol and all." Sam looked at him a little warily; had she gone too far?
Jack held her face close to his; she could feel his breath on her own. "Let's not worry about protocol just yet, okay Sam? I just want to wake tomorrow morning and find that you're still here with me." Sam nodded. "On one condition."
"That I don't snore?"
Sam laughed out loud. "Okay, on two conditions, then."
"That I... go see Dr. Fraiser in the morning?"
She smiled, stifling a yawn. "And one more thing."
"Three things? Should I draw up a contract?"
She rested a hand against his chest. "Just promise me that you'll never shut me out again. I just need to know... that I'm needed."
"I need you, Sam. Probably more than you realise."
Sam couldn't help but grin happily at him. "And I need you, too."
Jack held her close once more, relishing the feel of her in his arms. He'd found her again, and nothing, absolutely nothing was gonna come between them again. "Sam? Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Well... it's more of a, 'can I do something', actually."
"What is it?"
His eyes fell to her lips, and before he could make the request, she reached up to kiss him softly. Pulling back, she gazed at him questioningly. "Is that what you wanted?"
"For longer than you could ever know."
Sam reached up, kissing him again, deepening this kiss, until both pulled away breathless. "Stay with me, Sam?"
"Always."
"Promise me?"
She laughed softly, cupping his face in her hands and kissing her reply.
In the infirmary the next morning, the change in their relationship was obvious to everyone. They looked happy, and contented, and most of all connected in the way they had once been.
General Hammond sighed in relief. His team was back. "Colonel? SG-1 are to stand down for the rest of the week. You should all be returning to active duty as of Monday."
"Thanks, General. I've got a lot of catching up to do." He smiled across at Sam, and she turned away, a blush forming on her face.
After General Hammond had left the room, Janet pulled Sam to one side. "What happened? I need details!"
Sam opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. "All in good time, Janet. All in good time."
She turned to O'Neill, asking, "Are you ready to go now, sir?"
Jack stood awkwardly, and Sam immediately was at his side, helping him onto his crutches. He nodded, with a smile. "After you, Major."
As they left the room, Daniel shook his head, laughing. "Typical."
Teal'c turned to him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean... only Sam and Jack could put each other through hell and back, then be closer than ever the next morning."
Teal'c smiled. Daniel clapped his hands together, and left the room. "We're back!"
END
Story Notes: EMAIL: southerngirl_uk@yahoo.co.uk
SPOILERS: 100 days and Shades of grey
SEASON/SEQUEL: Third
STATUS:Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, SJA, others please ask first
AUTHORS NOTES: I'm sorry, but I just had to write one more 100 days fic. Hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I promise after this I'll put it to rest and think happy happy fic thoughts! That is until I feel the urge for some more angst! Enjoy.
FEEDBACK: Love it as long as it's no flames.
COPYRIGHT: Amanda Hawthorn July 2000
'Killing Me Softly' - is the property of N. Gimble/C. Fox, I just borrowed a few of the words.
SPOILERS: 100 days and Shades of grey
SEASON/SEQUEL: Third
STATUS:Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, SJA, others please ask first
AUTHORS NOTES: I'm sorry, but I just had to write one more 100 days fic. Hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I promise after this I'll put it to rest and think happy happy fic thoughts! That is until I feel the urge for some more angst! Enjoy.
FEEDBACK: Love it as long as it's no flames.
COPYRIGHT: Amanda Hawthorn July 2000
'Killing Me Softly' - is the property of N. Gimble/C. Fox, I just borrowed a few of the words.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]