Living The Wrong Life by SG1PhileShipper

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Story Notes: Email: sg1phileshipper@skynet.be

Spoilers: 2010

Keywords: Sam and Jack. Sam POV

Archive: Anywhere friendly would be fine, just keep the headers attached. And I wouldn't mind a note letting me know where it's going so I can visit.

Season: Season 4

Dedication: This one is for Tanja. You are such a nice friend, always ready to listen to someone. I enjoy the time we spend on IM. You never cease to write fics, which I tend to do. So here's one for you. And thank you so much for the wonderful title!!!!!!

Feedback: If you read it and you like it, please drop me a note. I don't know why, but feedback always seems to encourage me to write more. Flames will only burn my computer, but I'll read them anyway

FLUFF ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!! IF FLUFF OFFENDS YOU IN ANY WAY, RUN AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO THIS FIC THAN PURE FLUFF!!!!!

LIVING THE WRONG LIFE

Everyone is leaving the gate room, leaving Colonel O'Neill and I standing there. We look at each other; I shrug and decide to follow Janet. I wanna know what happened, I wanna know whose blood is on that paper. I wanna know where it came from.

I have always been considered as a smart woman, but even now I don't know what is going on. How did that paper in the Colonel's handwriting end up here? Is there some kind of explanation for that? I don't know, and I want to know what happened.

I push on the button of the elevator, when I hear someone sneaking behind my back. I turn around, only to find Colonel O'Neill standing there and staring at me. I must admit he scared me. I jumped a little and the only thing he does is smile at me.

"Wear a bell around your neck, will you Sir?! Why do you always sneak around people like that?"

"I was not sneaking, Carter. I was just following you to the Doc's lab."

"How do you know I'm going there?"

"I got in touch with my female intuition."

"Sir..."

He has that serious look on his face. You know the one where he does everything to stay normal, but he just wants to see you burst out in laughs. And it worked for me; it always works when he does that. I start giggling and soon he starts laughing too. The elevator opens and a confused Airman looks at us. Jack waves him away with his hand and I have to laugh at the confused kid.

Wait a minute; did I just call the Colonel Jack? Where did that come from? I never call him Jack, not even in my private thoughts. This is really weird. I never cease to amaze myself.

We arrive at Janet's lab, the Colonel still closely behind me. As I open the door, I can swear I feel his hand slightly brushing the small of my back. Way to go, Sam, you're starting to imagine things now. I knew I had deep feelings for him, but I never thought they ran this deep. If I start to feel things that are not there, I'm in for a big ride.

We approach Janet and I feel his hand again. It's not a touch this time, but a firm hand resting on the small of my back. I turn around and look at him and then at his hand. I swear I can see him blushing as he takes his hand away. As I turn away with a smile on my face, I hear him letting out a breath he was holding behind me. I feel his breathe on my ear, and I shudder. Without touching me, he can do weird things to my body.

Janet looks at me, trying to hide her smile. She knows what I have been feeling for years now. And without her saying so, I know she wants to talk about it later. But first, we follow her to her computer.

"Tell us what you found out, Janet?"

"Not much, but enough. The blood on the paper matches Colonel O'Neill's and we found your fingerprints on the paper too. And besides that, this is not a paper like we are used to see. It's much more advanced.... I don't know how to put this, but..."

"It's a paper from the past."

"No, Sam, it's not a paper from the past. I'd rather say this paper comes from the future."

Colonel O'Neill comes closer, leaning over my shoulder to take a look at the computer. My body shudders at the contact and he looks at me, sweet smile on his face.

"Carter, you're the smart one here. Care to explain this to me?"

"I can't Sir. I don't know how that could happen. But I think the future Jack sent this to us."

"Some alternate universe you mean?"

"Not this time, Sir. I think it was the real deal. It was the real us, the future us."

"But how?"

"I don't know, Sir. But they just wanted to warn us for something. I don't know what, but we might just have been saved of something awful. And that's all I can say about that."

"But why can't we remember, Carter?"

"Shoot me, Sir, but I have no clue."

"I can't believe this, I never thought this would happen. Carter doesn't know what to say anymore. She can't explain it. Wanna know something, Carter?"

"What, Sir?"

"I already liked you when you were a smart ass scientist, but now that you can't explain this to me, I even like you more."

He smiles at me, then smiles at Janet, and leaves me standing there with my mouth wide open.

"Sam, what was that all about?"

"I don't know, Janet. I really don't know."

"Well, I think our beloved Colonel comes around with his feelings for once in his life."

"He does not, Janet, he's just teasing me."

"Uhu, and I am Mother Teresa."

Janet leaves me standing there, a very confused look on my face. I need to think about this and fast. I need to think about what is going on here. So I do the only reasonable thing to do: I leave the lab and head for my quarters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sitting on my bed, staring in front of me. I'm trying to get my mind clean of all this, but it's living a life of its own. IT always seems to wander off to a certain Colonel of mine. I want to block those feeling out of my life, but I can't. They have become so strong, that I won't be able to deny them for much longer. I have lived a life a lies for a long time, and deep inside me I know it has to stop. I have been denying this for way too long. It hurts, it hurts so much that tears are forming in the corner of my eyes. I try to hold them back, but I can't. I have been fighting tears over Jack O'Neill for way too long. So I let out everything I have been holding back. And Janet was right when she told me I would have a depression over this. And now is the time my body chooses to break down on me.

I ignore the knock at my door, thinking the person will go away. But I'm sniffing so loudly that who ever is on the other side of the door must know there is someone inside. But I still hope the person will go away. On the other hand, I hope it's Janet.

The door opens and a very familiar head pokes inside. As I see who it is, I start to cry even more. Jack closes the door, worry evident on his face. He comes over to me and sits down on the bed. He takes my hand in his and pulls me to his chest. He doesn't say a thing; he just holds me and let me cry. And it feels so good to receive comfort from him. On the outside he always appears cold-hearted, but deep down I know he isn't. He is a man with feeling and I'm finding out the hard way.

After a while my tears finally subside. Jack is still rubbing my arm and I guess I should pull away and thank him before it's too late. As I start to pull away, I feel him holding me back.

"You're not going anywhere, Sam, not until you tell me what's wrong."

Oh no, he called me Sam. When he does that, I'm lost. Completely and utterly lost. So I let him hold me and I look into his chocolate eyes. All his concern for me is writing all over his face. He has this handsome and caring look on his face and words start to tumble out.

"I can't do this anymore, Sir. I can't work with you anymore. I have tried to hide how I felt, and I succeeded most of the time, but it's to hard to hold my feeling back anymore. I am so much in love with you and I can't handle the fact that we can't do anything about it. So I think it would be best for both of us if I just left."

I feel him moving next to me and he puts his finger under my chin. He makes me look into his eyes. A sad look crosses his face and he tenderly caresses my cheek. Oh my God, his hand his laying on my cheek and he has this caring look on his face....

As his mouth comes closer to mine, I forget where I am, who I am. I forget why I'm here and what my job is. I can't believe it; he's finally going to kiss me. And as his mouth closes over mine, my entire body goes limp. I'm left speechless, not I would want to speak. This man knows how to kiss a woman and I don't want him to stop. But soon, too soon he pulls away and looks at me. And then he whispers three little words into my ears. And it's not a surprise if I say those words make my life complete.

"I love you, Sam. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care about regulations. I'll take care of them later. I know that I belong with you. I wanna be wherever you are. I need you in my life, more than I've ever needed anyone before. Tell me you want me in your life."

"I want you so much in my life it hurts, Jack."

He kisses me again and holds me close. I sigh contently and then he speaks again.

"I know why we got that message Sam."

"Why?"

"Maybe we were living the wrong life."

"Could be."

"But I'm also certain we are living the right life now."

"I couldn't agree more."

And we close our agreement with one more kiss, before we both start thinking about our future.

The End.

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