samandjack.net

Story Notes: E-mail: jo17_52_35@yahoo.com

Rating: PG

Archive: SJA, Helliopolis yes (if they actually want it)

Spoilers: None

Season: Any time after the current season.

Feedback: Look at it this way: if you like it positive feedback can get me to write more, and if you don't like it then flames can get me to stop.

Authors Notes: They will be at the end of the story.


Today I sit in the waiting room of San Diego Community Hospital. They wanted her brother to be here for this, and he couldn't fly out. Sam's having his child. She's his wife, his lover, his friend. That could have all been mine if I wasn't such an idiot. She used to be my friend. I knew her before he did, she was mine first. I loved her, and I thought she loved me. I was wrong. It was always unspoken, it was forbidden because of the positions we held. I always thought that one day we would get around that though. We never did. I always loved her, I still love her. I've loved her since I first laid eyes on her. Although I contested her working with us originally, she was forced upon me, and I loved it. The longer we worked together the more I found I loved her. She was right I did come to adore her in time. I always thought she cared for me as well, but she didn't. No that's a lie, she loved me as a friend, and another of our friends as a brother. He's here today too. I thought she loved me for many reasons. She always smiled and laughed at my lame jokes, she explained things to me, no matter how long it took, but most of all it was the was the way she allowed me to call her father Dad, even though she knew how much he hated it when I did. Jacob loves it when HE calls him Dad, I still think that could have been me. Then suddenly after years of working together she got transferred. And she was all to happy to go. I think she was trying to run from what she knew was inevitable. She knew I couldn't keep in the room forever. We all cried the day she left, even the stoic one. A few years after she left I realized there was nothing interesting to keep me working there, so I left. I quit my job, and I followed her. The first time I saw her she was in a bar with them. "She left me for this" I thought then. "We at least played poker in somebody's house when we were together." As soon as I thought that he stood up and announced that they were leaving. He said they were all playing poker at his house, and said anyone who wanted to join them could. I approached her then, and they invited me to go as well, so I did. I wish I hadn't of gone that night. If I hadn't of gone I could have stayed blissfully ignorant of their love for a little while longer. As I observed them that night I noticed how much she loved him with every little look she sent his way. I realized that night that she loved him differently than she had loved any of us, including her fiance Jonas. At the time I wasn't sure that he loved her as much as she loved him, but I am now. Now I know that he probably loves her more. Now I'm sure that he loved her just like I did. He fell in love with her on first sight. There are so many of us who did, and we're all here today. We're here, because even though they both believe we've moved on, we haven't, and until the day we learn to love again, we have to stay and make sure they love each other right. We love them so much so we're proud to be able to call them our friends. I look around at all the smiling faces. We're all here. Teal'c, Daniel, Janet, Cassie, General Hammond, Dad (yeah I still call him Dad in my thoughts), and Mark. Then to go along with the "family" is all of us. Martouf, Simmons, Anise, Laira, and even Sara. Sara and Laira actually had Jack once, but they gave him up. I knew Sara's reasons, but I didn't have a clue about Laira's. She handed Jack over to Sam. I once asked her why she would give him up like that. She told me it was because she loved him. She said that she never really had him, she only had his body, not his mind, heart or soul. She had realized that he would only love Sam. Just like I know sam will only ever love Jack. I think Sam was sent, not only to love Jack, but to heal him as well. And I believe the same is true about Jack. As I look around the faces, here I can see they're happy because the one they love is happy, yet at the same time there's a sadness in all of our eyes. The one thing I have in common with all of them is the pain in my heart. The thing reflecting in everyone's eyes is the same thing that's in my heart. The same exact thought. That Could Have Been Me.



End Notes: Author's Notes: To the two people who are actually reading my other two stories I know I'm supposed to be writing those, but this kinda just popped into my head. The one thinking was originally supposed to be Joe, so I guess you could in the warped recesses of my mind, Sam had met Joe at the pentagon. I originally had them in Colorado Springs Community Hospital, but I figured that would totally give it away in the beginning. (Like nobody figured it out right away anyway.) So I changed it to San Diego Community Hospital. That's why Mark is in here. That's enough from me now, you can flame away if you didn't like it.

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