samandjack.net

Story Notes: beeslayer@cableinet.co.uk

SPOILERS: Broca Divide, Emancipation (kinda), Enigma, Brief Candle, 100 Days, the whole Jolinar/Martouf thing, Pretense,

STATUS: All done. Unless I do a sequel. Which won't happen.

ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, anywhere else, ask. I'll say yes, but being asked makes me feel important. ;-)

Fanks to Little Miss 'Chocolate.....mmmmmmmmmm' for beta-ing, general nice comments, and sending me videos. *grins*.


Chocolate.

Possibly the best thing on this planet, and definitely one of the main reasons for not uprooting and moving on to somewhere else...somewhere like P3X-595, or even the Land of Light, which I hear is quite nice now that they've sorted out certain things...

But anyway, the person who first decided to make chocolate ice cream should be Canonized...that has a nice ring to it. The Patron Saint of Ice Cream.

So anyway, I'm sitting here on the couch, eating from a huge tub of double-chocolate-chip ice cream (with chocolate syrup), and moping.

Actually, no. I'm not moping. I'm just...thinking. Thinking about what a bastard Jack O'Neill is, and how I'm obviously so much better off without him. If he wants to walk around and get into...into clinches with every remotely attractive female he meets, then fine. See if I care. It isn't as if I'm bothered or anything...I mean, why would I want him? I could have Martouf. He's smart, he's kind, he's...got a snake in his head...

Okay, so I'm not interested in Martouf. I mean, sure, it confused me at first, the whole Jolinar thing, but I got over that.

How did I get onto this? Oh yeah, Jack's many girlfriends. Her name was Naima this time. Naima, for crying out loud. Stupid name.

And what is it with him and bimbos whose names end in 'a', anyway? Kynthia, Laira, Naima. Sara, although she doesn't count. Mainly because she's from *this* planet, is probably not a bimbo, and actually *meant* something to him.

It was all going fine. Everything, the mission, our 'relationship'. By this, I mean a working relationship, obviously. Nothing's ever actually happened. If you don't include that incident with the virus, which we don't.

We're just friends, co-workers. He's my commanding officer.

Stupid regulations.

Where was I? Oh yeah, P38-751. Naima.

It's actually quite a nice planet. Kinda reminded me of the Caribbean...so you can imagine Jack's jubilation - no trees. Except palm trees, and I don't think he includes those in his "aren't we a wonderfully boring green universe?" rant.

Of course, there's always a downside to this kind of climate - lots of bimbos in practically no clothes. And once Jack started to take an interest in one partially clothed bimbo in particular, I was almost willing to throw one of those outfits on - in the interest of anthropology, of course.

Daniel pretended not to notice that Jack was...fawning over her, just throwing me the occasional glance as if to check that I wasn't going to burst into tears...or open fire on her. One of the two.

To be fair, she *was* beautiful. And she wasn't exactly subtle...she wanted him, and she made it perfectly obvious that she wanted him.

We, uh, we exchanged a few words...

"He doesn't belong to you, *Major* Carter. You have no right to tell me what to do."

"Just keep away from him, okay? Or I won't be held responsible for my actions."

Okay, so I over-reacted. Threatened her. These things don't go down well with your CO, especially when you've been acting like a spoilt brat for the whole mission.

"For crying out loud, Carter, get a grip! We're trying to make friends here, we don't need you threatening one of their people."

Needless to say, he wasn't happy. Which is more than I can say for her. She was walking around looking like the cat who got the cream, shooting me triumphant smiles whenever he wasn't looking.

The bitch.

Yes, I shouldn't have said those things to her. But did she really have to *tell* him? I don't know what she said to him, but he hardly spoke to me for the remainder of the time we spent there.

And he kissed her.

I was fine, I was dealing with it, I would have forgotten about the whole damned mission if it wasn't for that. Right there in front of the gate, where everyone could see. And did see. And whistled.

Teal'c kept his usual stoic impression, and Daniel looked mildly embarrassed, looking as if he was quite prepared to hold me back if I decided to scratch her eyes out.

It was tempting, I have to admit.

I know I can hardly expect him - or any of us - to be celibate, but did he have to be so...so public? Does the word 'subtlety' mean nothing to this man?

Yeah, yeah, I know, Narim and I could have been less obvious, but that was a *long* time ago...

And he said it himself - "There is another."

Of course, I lied. Kind of. But this that isn't the point.

Jack's pretty much ignored me since we got back to Earth, and I've done the same to him. Teal'c made a comment about how he 'does not understand humans’, but apart from that everybody's pretty much left it alone.

Can't say I blame them. Daniel muttered 'childish' under his breath at the de-briefing, which caused Jack to glare evilly at him, and I, um...I kicked him. Daniel, that is. Hard. In the shin.

Hammond wisely decided to ignore it, but his "I expect a little more professionalism" remark as we were leaving said it all.

Professionalism. The whole reason we're in this mess in the first place.

Sometimes I hate my job.

So we're not speaking, and god only knows what he got up to with that...bitch while we were there.

Which explains my situation now. I've been here for about an hour, watching really bad sitcoms and eating ice cream.

When she saw my face, Janet offered to come around and cheer me up, but I told her not to bother.

"Nah, I'll be fine. I'll just...be alone with Ben & Jerry for a few hours."

And I will be fine. I might even apologise to Jack tomorrow for behaving like a three- year-old...hell, I may even apologise to Naima next time we see them.

Or not.

So, as I was saying, chocolate. I'm running out....I'm only going to get another couple of mouthfuls out of this tub, so I'd better make the most of it.


* * * * * * * *


Oh great. Did I just hear what I *think* I just heard? I hear the banging noise again....yup, there's someone at the door.

"Go away." I say that just loud enough that whoever's there could hear if they were listening.

"Carter, are you going to let me in, or am I gonna have to show you my lock-picking skills?"

Jack? What the hell does he want?

"I didn't know breaking and entering was part of your special ops training," I shout back, almost smiling as I hear his exasperated sigh from outside.

"Sam...we need to talk, okay?"

Oh, well isn't this a cliché?! But, clichéd or not, he's right. We *do* need to talk. Setting my ice cream carefully down on the floor, I open the door, preparing myself for a lecture.

"What?"

I could probably sound happier to see him, but why the hell should I bother?

"That's not a very nice way to speak to your CO, Carter."

"With all due respect, *Sir*, I'm not in the mood. What do you want?"

He rolls his eyes, "Can I come in? Or do we have to have this discussion in front of your neighbours?"

I fold my arms, "Fine with me."

"Don't you think you're being a little childish, Sam?"

I wish he'd stop calling me Sam...I'm trying to be mad at him.

"Childish? Oh, *I'm* being childish?"

He gets that confused look, "What?"

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about either.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm tired. Some of us were actually *working* when you were...otherwise occupied with Naima."

"Oh, and I wasn't working?"

"I don't know, and to be honest, I don't care." Someone walks past, trying very hard not to look like she's watching us, and I glare at her before turning the glare back to Jack.

"Look, Carter," He's trying very hard not to lose his temper... "What happened between me and Nai-"

"Colonel, I don't want to hear it, okay? What happened is your business, and it sure as hell has nothing to do with me, okay?"

"For crying out...nothing happened, Sam."

I just look at him.

"Nothing more than you saw, anyway. I swear." He sounds genuinely...I don't know. Upset.

"Why should *I* care?" I'm starting to sound like a broken record. "Sir, the last thing I want to hear about right now is your...your dealings with Naima. I don't want to hear what happened, I don't want to hear how you feel about her, and I don't want to-"

He doesn't give me the chance to finish my rant, as he grabs my shoulders and kisses me hard on the mouth. I fleetingly consider pulling away, but before my brain has the chance to catch up with what's happening, I'm responding, kissing him back just as passionately....and mentally kicking myself for having no willpower.

I wrap my arms around his neck, not caring that we'll be the talk of the neighbourhood watch meetings for at least a month.

When we finally break apart, breathing heavily, he grins lopsidedly at me. "Can we please forget about Naima now? I behaved like an idiot, I know, and I'm sorry. You mean too much to me to lose over something as trivial as this."

I feel myself smiling, and I kiss him again, quickly, softly. "You're forgiven. For what it's worth, I'm sorry too."

Oh god, we're still standing at the door, aren't we? "Maybe you should come in..."

He shakes his head, "I'd love to, but Hammond wants to see us on the base, *now*. He looks at his watch, "well, about 10 minutes ago, actually. We should get a move on."

So much for talking. I nod slowly, "Right. Give me a minute to sort a few things out, okay?"

I go inside and pick up the tub of - melted - double-chocolate-chip ice cream and smile again, walking briskly into the kitchen and depositing the tub into the bin.

Everything's gonna be fine.




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End Notes: beeslayer@cableinet.co.uk Bee ;-)

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http://members.xoom.com/beeslayer/ - Bee's Fic Page

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