Jack gazed at Sam's prone body, barely aware of the sounds the monitors made. The only thing that he was aware of was how pale and fragile she looked with all the wires connected from various places on her body. Even the white infirmary clothes weren't doing much for her complexion.
Janet had come in moments before, giving him her latest report. Nothing had changed from the last one. There was virtually no brain activity and there was nothing to say that she would awake anytime soon. Or ever. Well she hadn't actually said those words, but they'd been left hanging in their shared silence. Along with the words *It's time to let her go.*
Well no damn it. He wasn't ready to lose her. Not yet. He had so many things planned. Things to tell her. Things to do. He reached out and carefully picked up her hand, stroking her fingers with his thumb.
"Sam……. Sam, come on wake up. I need you to wake up. Come on, who's gonna be my second in command, if you don't? Nobody else will. They wouldn't be ale to put up with me. Or my lame jokes." He stopped talking to wipe at his cheek. Damn tears.
"C'mon Sam, you're not gonna make me say all this stuff are ya? You know I'm no good with words. Especially the big ones."
Jack stopped and looked up from her hand, his gaze resting on her closed and swollen eyelids. Damn it all to hell, why did she have to play with the doohickeys from wherever all by herself? Janet said she had been lying on the floor, after been flown across the room and sliding down the wall, for close to 12 hours when he found her.
"I need you. I need you more than I need to draw breath. And what's more I love you. There, see I said it. You have to wake up now. Please."
He let the tears flow down his face now, not even caring if someone walked in. The president himself could have walked in and he wouldn't have given a rat's ass. In fact he probably would have told him to get the hell out. Screw the regulations. He would rip out the entire section on fraternizing and eat it, if she would just come back. Come back to him.
________________________________________
Janet stood at the door to Sam's room with a sad smile on her face. Why did it take this to make the old boy realize? And why did shehave to deliver this news. Why couldn't someone else do it? Damn.
"Colonel?"
She watched as O'Neill looked at her, not even bothering to hide the fact that he'd been crying.
"Hey Doc. How long you been there?"
"Long enough."
"Great. So, ya gonna tell the General?"
"Colonel, Jack, if I kept Sam's secret so long, why would I tell yours?" Janet started to check the read-outs while she let her information sink in.
"You mean…?"
"Yes. She loved you. But she was too afraid of risking both your careers. So she kept it all inside. Why do you think she spent so much time trying to get your back from Endora?"
"What am I going to do, Doc?"
"Unfortunately, I just came from the General's office. He says it's time. That if Sam didn't want to be left like this then it's about time we when ahead with her wishes."
"Can you give me a few more minutes?"
"Sure."
Janet left her own eyes starting to fill. Damn, why did she have to tell him that? If the General had to do it, he wouldn't be able to. Just the look in Jack O'Neill's eyes would have made it impossible. But she was a doctor, and Sam's friend. She had to think of what Sam wanted first.
________________________________________
"I'm sure you heard that Sammie." He reached up and smoothed a few pieces of her hair. "I don't want to lose you, but it's what you wanted. Or would want. But I want you to know that I loved you from the first moment I saw you. And I will love you till the day I join you. "
Jack had to stop speaking or else he wouldn't be able to compose himself for when the General came in. Despite all he felt he had to keep a good face, or risk everything he had left.
________________________________________
General George Hammond stepped into the room his eyes immediately studying Colonel O'Neill. Damn it. He turned to Doctor Fraiser and nodded to her. He was surprised to be interrupted by a soft voice.
"I want to do it sir."
"Son?"
"I owe her this much General."
"Alright. Go ahead."
He watched as Jack walked stiffly towards the back of the medical bed. He watched as he grabbed the set of power cords and held them still for a second, before ripping them from their sockets.
Hammond stood listening to the blare of the readout machines until Fraiser turned them off. Then he stood at attention and saluted the first and last 2IC of SG1. A voice echoed in the room, coming from Jack.
"So here I am asking forgiveness, And praying that you'll understand, Don't think I take you for granted, Girl, I know just how lucky I am, Though you deserve so much better, You won't find devotion more true, 'Cause I've had the best of intentions, Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you…."
Story Notes: Author: Kate Burke (DelenaArienh@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Category: Sam/Jack, character death
Spoilers: None.
Archiving: S/J, anywhere as long as you tell me where.
Authors Note: Coffee, Pepsi, and pizza. Plus nothing to do, make a really bad combination.
Rating: PG
Category: Sam/Jack, character death
Spoilers: None.
Archiving: S/J, anywhere as long as you tell me where.
Authors Note: Coffee, Pepsi, and pizza. Plus nothing to do, make a really bad combination.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]