samandjack.net

Story Notes: EMAIL: Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk; CksGirl_MIA@hotmail.com

CONTENT WARNINGS: None.

SEASON / SEQUEL: Set season six – Post Meridian.

SPOILERS: Slight spoilers and speculation for Meridian.

ARCHIVE: Yes to these archives only: Heliopolis, SJA, Tanja and Jo’s fic world and Jo’s SG-1 fic index. Anywhere else, please ask me first.

STATUS: Complete as of 26th December. Finally.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: My own twisted (not to mention short!) version of an answer to the SamandJack Christmas 2001 Challenge: Include three of the following: holly, reindeer, the song/carol "Blue Christmas", a Santa hat (bonus points for someone in a full Santa suit), someone saying "Well THAT was unexpected." And it must include Sam and Jack kissing. And before anyone asks, I don't want the character of Daniel to leave but that storyline conveniently fits with this story.

DEDICATION: To everyone: here's hoping you're having a lovely Christmas and that 2002 brings all you wish for. To Pepsi, Tanja, Traci, Little Miss and Lynn especially: Merry Christmas, love ya all!


" I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christm--."

Groan.

The radio was shut off with an accompanying "for cryin' out loud." A disgruntled growl came from the back of his throat as Colonel Jack O'Neill brusquely pushed his chair back and stalked from his office, turning his back on the mountain of paperwork on his desk – some of which dated back to nearly a year.

Somewhere in that stack was the last report Doctor Daniel Jackson had ever written for the SGC. Jack still hadn't found it in himself to unbury it and read it, no matter how much he appeared to have accepted and moved passed Daniel's departure.

The mission in question was well over and done with; it had been for months. Copies of the reports had been filed and stored; there was no need for him to read it anymore. It was a relief, too. Knowing that he was in no hurry, that he had all the time he wanted.

Losing a good friend was never east, especially not where there were constant reminders all over the place of what was missing.

A year ago, Jack mused as he wandered through the decoration-laden corridors of the SGC as he made a futile attempt at escaping the festive spirit, SG-1 was celebrating Christmas together. Daniel, Teal'c and Carter gathered at his house, with Cassandra and Doc Fraiser dropping by for a few hours.. They'd decorated the tree his team had insisted he buy, using Teal'c's Santa hat in place of a star or angel at the top, and exchanged presents at midnight, crashing out wherever there was space when they were too tired to talk anymore.

This Christmas wasn't going to be the same; not for the remaining members of SG-1.

The Christmas spirit was alive and thriving at the SGC. Paper reindeer decorations were strung up, hanging from ceilings and doorframes, getting in Jack's way as he meandered aimlessly towards the Gateroom. Holly substituted for mistletoe, the only thing the officers who'd taken it on themselves to decorate the base could find on such short notice. The red berries held none of the tradition associated with the white mistletoe berries but that didn't stop some of the SGC personnel indulging in one of everyone's favourite Christmas pastimes.

The original members of SG-1 who remained were oblivious.

Doctor Liander Quinn, Daniel's replacement, was spending the holiday season with his family, guessing correctly that he wouldn't be included or invited in the teams celebrations – if any celebrations went ahead.

It wasn't that they didn't like him. Liander had managed to win the respect of his teammates and was slowly earning their friendship. It was just that he reminded them all of that they'd lost; he reminded them of who they were missing.

Teal'c had chosen to spend his downtime with his wife and son. In Jack's bitter eyes, Teal'c had decided SG-1 was no longer enough for him; his surrogate family was depleted and therefore couldn’t compete with his real family.

Rationally, Jack knew that wasn't true, and he harboured no real hard feelings towards his friend. He was just feeling sorry for himself. The last twelve months had been tough on them all; losing one teammate, adjusting to gaining another, one mission relentlessly following the
next.. They were all exhausted and needed some time apart to get themselves together before they could start getting the team back.

He still felt lonely, though. And remorseful, comparing this Christmas with the previous one. Comparing being alone in the near-deserted corridors of the SGC to being with SG-1 in the comfort of his own time; comparing this Christmas with the last Christmas SG-1 had spent together.

Reaching the Gateroom, Jack stopped on the base of the ramp, staring up at the giant ring, conflicting emotions battling for dominance within him.

This ring, this Stargate, had brought both trouble and triumph to his life and the lives of everyone around it. Friends had been lost and friends had been gained, worlds had been discovered and worlds had been destroyed, old enemies had fallen and new enemies had arisen from the ashes.

Everything changed; day in and day out, nothing was the same. Nobody was the same.

Feeling eyes burn into his back, Jack slowly turned one hundred and eighty degrees, raising his narrowed eyes to the darkened control room.

Major Samantha Carter stared back at him, her solemn expression mimicking the one he wore as they silently contemplated the year they were leaving behind and wondered about the year that would soon be starting.

After staring wordlessly at each other for a few long minutes, Jack made his way from the Gateroom to the control room, joining her in sitting at the observation window. " Thought you'd gone home for the holidays, Carter."

Her answer was a once-shouldered shrug. " I thought I'd catch up on some work, run an efficiency analysis on the computers to see if they're working at peak proficiency." She shrugged again, her blue eyes dull. " Christmas is just another day, Colonel."

" Oh." Try as he might, Jack wouldn't think of anything more to say to that. He studied Sam as she turned her attention back to the inactive Stargate. Lines and shadows that hadn't been there a year ago now marred her face. Daniel leaving wasn't the only occurrence that had added strain to their lives; in the grand scheme of things, it was something minor. Their missions became more gruelling as their battle with the Goa'uld intensified, and it was that knowledge that had diminished the festive season.

The Goa'uld weren't going to disappear simply because it was a special time for many on Earth.

Shaking his head of his musings, determined to spend at least ten minutes of one day without thinking of the struggles head, he directed his thoughts back to the matter at hand: Christmas. " No plans for Christmas this year?"

" None." Blunt and straight to the point, a humourless smile graced Sam's lips. He watched as her eyes grew distant and her shoulders, which had been ridged with tension, slumped forward. " Christmas doesn't really mean anything, Colonel.." A self depreciating expression flittered across her face. " I forgot to buy a tree this year. Forgot it was Christmas until Janet asked me what I was getting Cassandra."

" You work too hard." Jack couldn't stop the disapproving sigh that escaped his lips. " When was the last time you saw daylight?"

The answer was as automatic as it was expected. " P5X453."

" Carter."

Sam looked up when he didn’t say anything else. " Sir?"

Concerned, frowning eyes stared back at her. " Did you know it's been snowing since Monday? The guy on the news said we might get snowed in by New Year." Staring at her evenly, he shoved his hands into his pockets. " It's a cliché, but you really should get out more."

" Get a live, you mean?" For one brief moment, a wryly smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. " Like you, I suppose?"

" Well.. No." He grinned sheepishly. " I'm not the best example to follow.. The last time I had a day away from his place was when we introduced Teal'c to the post-Christmas sales.."

" That was Daniel's idea." Her smile lasted a few seconds longer than before; a smile tinged with sadness but also with the warmth the recollections brought. " She gave him a side-long glance, her expression curious. " I'm never going to know how he got you to agree to it, am I?"

" That's classified, Major. Strictly need to know information."

They looked at each other and Sam matched Jack's grim with a genuine smile, both remembering the days when SG-1 was a complete unit, remembering the times before the battle with the Goa'uld had advanced forward another step.

So many lives had been lost in the last year, Daniel being just one of many they had grieved for. The chance, the opportunity, the ability to smile came on occasions that were few and far between. The war with Anubis and the other System Lords evolved every day, the ever-increasing danger bringing more stress and tension to the officers of the SGC.

A strange, contemplative look passed over her face. " You ever wonder what Daniel's doing right now? Whether he's celebrating Christmas.."

".. Or thinking about us?" He raised an eyebrow, taking his hands from his pockets so he could fold his arms over his chest. " Sometimes, I think about it.. But not that often.. You?"

" Sometimes." She smiled wistfully. " More often than not, I wonder about whether my Dad remembers it's Christmas and whether he's thinking about Mark and the kids.. and me."

A warm hand was gently placed on her shoulder. " Wherever Dad is, he's thinking of you. I don't know a lot but I know that."

" I guess." She leaned her head into his hand, unconsciously seeking his comfort. Only when she realised what she was doing did she sit up straight and pull away. " I haven't slept in nearly twenty hours and the keyboard, although tempting, doesn't make a very good pillow."

Nodding, Jack took a step away from her, letting his hand drop to his side as she stood. " You going home or crashing out here?"

" Might as well stay. " A mischievous smile curled her lips. " A reliable source told me it's been snowing and I don't like driving in snowy conditions."

In silent agreement, they started walking from the control room together, heading along the corridors towards their quarters. The few officers they did pass along the way smiled politely and scurried on, making them both uncomfortable at the sometimes knowing, sometimes pitiful looks in their eyes.

Finally reaching Sam's quarters, the two of them came to a halt outside of her door and turned to face each other expectantly. Jack glanced up and down the corridors, seeing no one else was about, and brought his eyes back to Sam's face, watching as she shook her head at the sprig of holly that somebody had stuck on the wall by her door.

" So.."

" So.."

Their eyes met and they smiled, in an almost shy manner.

Sighing inwardly at his own bashfulness, Jack shook himself mentally and leaned in, preparing to plant a quick seasonal kiss on her cheek. " Merry Christmas, Sam."

Just as his lips were about to brush the smooth expanse of her cheek, Sam twisted her head, allowing his lips to gently bush hrs in a sweet but soft kiss that ended almost a soon as it began.

His eyes were dazed and confused as he pulled back, a puzzled frown furrowing his brow.

Her only response was to reward him with a small, impish smile that deepened the dimples in her cheeks. "Merry Christmas, Sir."

Without saying anything else, and before he could say something, Sam had slipped into her quarters and closed the door firmly behind her. Jack didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the closed door, but after a few minutes, a slow if not surprised smile spread across his face as he placed his palm flat against the door before sauntering off towards his
own room.

" Well that was unexpected," he murmured to himself, his grin growing broader as he started to hum a Christmas carol, feeling lighter and a lot more optimistic than he had before. Somehow, for some reason, he had a feeling that they were going to be okay, somehow knowing that their first Christmas without Daniel would be the last either of them spent alone.

=*=

The End.



End Notes: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Feedback would be nice if you've recovered! ;) Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk

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