Not so Solitary by Denise
She desperately punched her numb fist through the thin layer of hard, dry snow. As the hole got bigger, more and more bitterly cold air bathed her unfeeling face. She has been cold so long, colder no longer applies. She was too cold even to shiver. Once the hole was big enough she pushed her pitifully tiny pack of supplies through and followed it out of the cavern and onto the surface. She fought exhaustion and a merciless wind as she struggled to gain her feet and survey the surroundings. Nothing. She closed her eyes and felt tears of frustration well up. The wicked wind turned those tears into minuscule pieces of ice. All she could see was snow, rocks, ice and sky. Too tired even to sigh in disappointment, she climbed back into the hole she had just created and carefully tried to make her way back down. Her numb and abused legs slipped and she tumbled down the crevasse to land with a sickening thud. She slowly crawled over to her companion lying on the ice, still as death. Desperate for that last tiny spark of warmth and life they both have left, she curled up beside him, whispering words of comfort to hopefully ease his way into the next world. She closed her eyes, ready now to let go of this existence and see what comes next.
Perhaps it was hours later, perhaps only minutes when the deafening silence of the cavern was broken by the rhythmic thumping of helicopter blades. Her curiosity drug her back to consciousness. As her brain registered the cacophony of human voices and the clatter of man-made equipment, one thought crossed her mind. ‘ I always thought angels would be quieter.’
She was barely conscious and later her memories of the rescue would remain as tangible and as elusive as a heavy morning fog. Her brain would be so affected by the cold that even when she awoke warm and safe in a hospital bed, it would take her a few minutes to realize she hadn’t died after all.
~~~~~
She slowly turned her head to survey the room. The three other beds, at least she assumed there were three other beds, one alcove was hidden behind a curtain, and various other fixtures in the room identified it as a small hospital ward, vaguely reminiscent of the one she was familiar with at the SGC. ‘Must be a universal blue print,’ she thought, ‘infirmary floor plan 1A.’
Still having no idea where she was, but pretty sure she was in no immediate physical danger, she began to assess the physical damages. Since she wasn’t in the habit of grabbing a nap in the infirmary...something had to be wrong. Cautiously she moved her legs...sore and stiff certainly, but they seemed to work OK. Then she checked out her arms. Oh yeah...they were stiff. Almost as bad as the time she tried to match her brother Mark pull-up for pull-up. She closed her eyes at the memory of chipping through what must have been 100 pounds of solid ice with a knife. OK, that explains the sore arms. She felt a small tug and looked at the tubing taped to the back of her left hand. She followed it up to the clear plastic bag hanging from a hook. ‘Oh great, IV time.’ Something must be wrong somewhere. She started to take a deep breath then abruptly stopped as she located the source of her problems. She gingerly pulled her right arm up from her side and laid it on her stomach. Even through the layers of sheets and blankets, she felt the bulky presence of bandages. She recalled her ignominious descent back into the cavern. The nauseating jolt of pain that accompanied her sudden meeting with the rocky cave floor. The dull thud as her skull cracked against stone, ‘Must have broke a coupla ribs,’ she thought.
Her musing was stopped by a noise from behind the curtain. Illuminated from behind, she watched the silhouette of a person stand up from the chair he’d been sitting in. He arched his back as he stretched. She heard a familiar yawn as he stepped from behind the curtain and gave her a cursory look. Blue eyes met blue eyes and his face lit up with a grateful grin.
"Sam, you’re awake," he said as he walked to her bedside.
"Daniel," she replied as she felt herself smile. "You’re OK."
He nodded. "Yeah. Teal’c and I are fine. How are you?"
"I’m not certain. How am I?" she asked, her hidden message ‘tell me what’s wrong’ buried in her words.
Daniel caught the message and sat in the chair beside her bed.
"Not too bad, all things considered. Hypothermia, various cuts and bruises, a concussion, some cracked ribs you’ve probably found, and somehow you got a gash on your side. We’re guessing maybe you fell."
Sam nodded. "I remember that part. I think. I fell...after I tried to climb out. How’s...aah...how’s the colonel?" she asked, both desperate for and dreading the answer.
Daniel leaned forward.
"Well you know about his leg and his chest. Both are fixed and they think they’ll heal OK. The hypothermia actually saved his life. It slowed down the bleeding. If you two had landed somewhere warmer, he would have bled to death, and you probably wouldn’t have been too far behind." Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "So he’s OK?"
Daniel nodded happily. "He’s going be hobbling around on crutches for several weeks driving us crazy, but he’s going be fine."
Sam nodded and Daniel saw a couple of tears squeeze out of the corners of her eyes. He moved closer, his face full of concern, and put his hand on her shoulder. "What’s wrong?"
She reached up and wiped the tears away. "Nothing."
"Doesn’t look like nothing to me."
"Daniel..."
"Come on, share," he insisted. Sam looked closer at her friend for the first time and noticed the bandage on his forehead.
"What happened to you?" she asked.
Daniel grudgingly accepted the subject change. "Oh this," he said, motioning towards the colorful bruise peeking through his longish brown hair, "Just one of my normally graceful exits from the gate."
Sam looked skeptical. "Daniel, if it threw you out as hard as it threw us, you’re lucky you didn’t end up going through the control room window."
He shrugged. "You know me...two left feet." Sam smiled and Daniel saw the tears start again. "Sam, what’s wrong?" She shook her head. "Come on." he urged.
"It’s silly."
"What?"
"I...aah...I just thought I’d wake up dead," she admitted.
"So you were expecting choirs of angels and instead got one banged up archaeologist. I’d ask for my money back if I were you."
Sam giggled then stopped, her hand clutching her side.
"Stop, that hurts."
"Sam, it’s OK. You and Jack are both going to be fine. We’re going to go home in a few days," he reassured as he carefully pulled her into a hug, mindful of all the tubes and wires running under her regulation hospital gown. She hugged him back and they both kept still for a minute, drawing reassurances from the simple physical contact with each other. Daniel let her lie back on the bed and she used the edge of the starched white sheet to wipe the tears from her face. She sought refuge from her emotions in curiosity.
"So, how did you find us? Where were we?"
"You’re not going to believe it. You actually made it back to Earth."
Sam shook her head. "No. We came through a gate."
"Yeah, well, we’ve been a little short-sighted. Seems there are two gates on Earth. The one found in Giza and the one you and Jack just discovered here in Antarctica."
"Antarctica?" Sam said incredulously, "That explains the ice."
"Yeah. It makes sense in a weird sort of way. I mean for a gate to go unnoticed for thousands of years it’d have to be somewhere isloated..."
"And Antarctica’s about as far off the beaten track you can get."
"Yeah."
"So we’re at McMurdo?"
Daniel nodded. "Yeah. As soon as we figured out where you were, Teal’c, General Hammond and I jumped on a transport plane. Security wise I know Hammond would have rather got you two home, but both of you were injured too badly to tolerate a long plane ride." Seeing the exhaustion in his friend’s face Daniel said. "Look, why don’t you get some sleep. I’ll fill you in on all the gory details later."
Sam nodded and he sat there until she fell asleep.
~~~~~
Jack opened his eyes and was greeted by sickly green walls. Has to be an infirmary. Only doctors would put sick people in such an ugly room. He started to take inventory, making sure nothing had gone missing while he slept. His efforts came to a screeching halt as the abused nerves and muscles in his leg and chest demanded he lay still. He closed his eyes for a few minutes, breathing as deeply as his ribs would allow as he waited for the pain to recede.
He opened his eyes again, this time contenting himself with just visually surveying his surroundings. He saw a four bed ward, two of which were empty and the third hidden behind a curtain, only the steady beeping of a cardiac monitor confirming the presence of another person. The room itself looked vaguely like the SGC infirmary. He’d been in enough med. bays over the years to know they all basically looked the same. Turning his attention back to himself he noted the presence of two IVs. One clear tube he followed up to a large translucent bag hanging on a hook in the wall. The other connected to a remote controlled machine. Great, one of those ‘do it yourself’ morphine machines. They don’t hook you up to one of those every day. He felt the tiny adhesive pulls of monitors attached to his chest. Doctors seem to know dozens of ways to make sure their patients were never too comfortable. Just as he was ready to search out the call button to find some answers, he heard footsteps over the rhythmic beeping. The person stopped briefly by the other bed, then came past the curtain to plop wearily into a waiting chair. Jack felt an overwhelming sense of relief at the sight of a slightly bedraggled Daniel slumped in the requisite hard plastic chair. ‘If Danny’s in one piece, chances are Teal’c is too. Now, what about Carter?’
"Daniel." At Jack’s quiet voice, Daniel’s head popped up so fast Jack thought he’d give himself whiplash.
"Jack, you’re awake," he stated as he stood up and came closer to the bed.
"Ya think?"
"How do you feel?"
"I’ll live. How’s Teal’c, Carter?"
"Teal’c’s fine. He’s with Hammond. Sam’s a little banged up and sore but OK. She’s sleeping next bed over," Daniel said as he jerked his thumb towards the drawn curtain.
Jack closed his eyes in relief only to open them at the sound of a familiar voice.
"I was sleeping. But I have these noisy neighbors. Keep waking me up."
Daniel grinned and stepped over to draw back the curtain to reveal a sleepy Sam lying on a similar bed. Despite Daniel’s reassurances, Jack still felt better seeing her for himself.
"Carter, how ya feeling?"
Sam gave him a wan smile. "Splitting headache, but I’m OK. You?"
"I think I’m going to be at Frasier’s mercy longer than I want to but I’m OK. So where are we?"
"Antarctica."
"Huh?"
"Daniel knows the whole story."
"Well Danny?..."
As Daniel started telling them about jumping wormholes and post-Egyptian cultures, Sam found it harder and harder to concentrate as the pain that woke her slowly increased. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited impatiently for it to fade. If anything, it just grew stronger. She didn’t notice Jack and Daniel stop talking and look her way as her breathing grew ragged.
Daniel hurried to her side and pulled her hands down from where they were clutching her head. "Sam, what’s wrong?"
"Hurts...God Daniel, it hurts," she gasped out.
Jack frantically found and pushed his call button. Something was very, very wrong. When the response wasn’t immediate, he ordered, "Danny, go get someone."
"Huh?"
"Daniel, get a doctor NOW!"
Daniel left Sam and ran from the room. Jack watched helplessly as Sam drew herself into a ball, her hands futilly clutching at her head, "Dammit Sam, hang on, help’s coming...help’s coming..." he repeated his litany over and over as he waited the interminable 68 seconds it took a doctor and two nurses to hurry into the room.
"What happened?" the doctor demanded as he started to examine a now unconscious Sam.
"She just said her head hurt..." Daniel stated, trying to stay out of the way.
"Damn, right pupil’s fixed, probably intracranial swelling. I need a head CT yesterday." The doctor ordered as he snapped off a series of incomprehensible medical terms. Within minutes her rumpled bed was empty, Sam borne off on a gurney for tests. Both men stared solemnly at the empty bed that just a while ago held their friend.
"Daniel, what the hell just happened?" Daniel shook his head slowly.
"I have no idea Jack. But if some of those terms mean what I think they do, it’s not good."
~~~~~
General George Hammond and Teal’c walked into the small hospital at McMurdo Base both extremely grateful to have the business of sending the newly discovered stargate back to the states under control and finally able to get in out of the bitter cold. ‘If this is what it’s like here in the summer, I sure as hell don’t want to be here in the winter. I’m getting too old for this globetrotting,’ Hammond thought as he found a convenient chair to toss his parka on. Teal’c followed suit and the two men sought out the chief medical officer. Spying the man seated at a nurses station writing in a chart Hammond approached him.
"Doctor. How are my people?"
The doctor looked up from his work and met the general’s eyes. "General. Colonel O’Neill regained consciousness a few hours ago. He should be stable enough to travel in a few days."
Something in the doctor’s tone set Hammond’s nerves on edge. "And Captain Carter?"
"The captain was stable then she suffered a set-back."
"Set-back?" Hammond asked in his no nonsense tone.
"Apparently she suffered a head injury we didn’t detect. Perhaps because of the metabolic slow down caused by the hypothermia..."
"Doctor, what’s wrong with Captain Carter?" Hammond cut the man off, impatient to hear the diagnosis.
The doctor sighed. "The captain has swelling in her brain. Now when the brain swells, the skull only has so much spare room. The swelling is causing a compression of her cerebral cortex. That pressure is causing some of her autonomic functions not to work. Soon after she lost consciousness she went into cardiac and pulmonary arrest." At Hammond’s startled look he hurried to continue. "We got her heart started again and it’s beating normally but we had to put her on a respirator to assist her breathing. Now hopefully the drugs and treatments we have her on will reduce the swelling before permanent damage is done."
"And if it doesn’t?"
"Worst case, she’ll never regain consciousness or she’ll be dependent on a respirator for the rest of her life."
George felt his heart drop as the doctor’s dire words sank in.
~~~~~
Jack and Daniel sat listening to the rhythmic clicking and hissing of Sam’s respirator. Originally the doctor wanted to keep Sam in a private room, but gave into Hammond’s suggestion that the only way to keep SG-1 quiet was to keep Sam in the same room with her friends. Jack didn’t know if he felt relief at the continued beeping of the monitors that reassured him she was still alive or guilt with every beep that seemed to scream your fault, your fault.
Daniel watched his friend and saw the guilt pile up, layer upon layer.
"Jack, it’s not you fault." he said, knowing it was falling on deaf ears.
"Right Daniel." Jack replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "She fell because I sent her up there. I told her to leave me."
"God Jack, why?"
"Because we were dying Daniel. If she’d stayed with me...waited until I died, she’d probably have been too weak to climb out."
"Jack, there was nothing out there, no where to go."
"I didn’t know that. I thought we were on another planet. Keeping her in that cavern meant she would die."
"So...you told her to leave you to freeze to death, alone, just on the slim chance there would be something, anything out there."
"A slim chance is better than no chance," Jack stated.
"Jack, what the hell happened to ‘don’t leave anyone behind?’"
"Daniel, I would rather die alone than know one of you died because of me."
"Well, thanks to Sam you didn’t have to die at all. You know, when she activated the gate, it set off every seismograph around the world. We used it to find a latitude and longitude, but even that covers a lot of ground. I mean there was no big flashing marquee screaming "Look Here." We could have spent hours searching for the cavern. Maybe, just maybe Sam would have been conscious enough to answer the radio. You didn’t have the few hours it would have taken to find you. But then the pilot saw the pack lying on the snow. It led us straight to you. So we found both of you in time to keep you alive. If you hadn’t sent her up there, you wouldn’t be here wallowing in guilt, you’d be a Jack-sicle just like that serpent guard you found. And Sam wouldn’t have been far behind you." Daniel finished his lecture then almost looked ashamed at having spoken so harshly to his injured friend. He sighed, "Aah...look Jack, I’m sorry. I mean..."
Jack shook his head and put his hand on Daniel’s to stop him from talking. "Danny stop. It’s OK. No matter what I feel, it won’t change what happened."
Daniel saw Jack set his jaw as if in pain. He looked at the IV stand. His all too practiced eyes saw Jack hadn’t given himself a dose for hours. Knowing Jack, he would lie here in pain as if it was some kind of penance for Sam’s condition. Daniel slowly and carefully picked up the ignored remote and pressed the button.
It took a few seconds for the effects of the morphine to sink into Jack’s brain. His eyes flew open and met Daniel’s unrepentant gaze. "Danny, what the hell did you do?"
"Jack, lying here in agony isn’t going to fix anything. You’ve got to sleep if you want to get better. I’ll stay with Sam."
Jack struggled against the pull of the drugs. He needed to tell Danny something...warn him.
Daniel watched Jack fight the drugs for a few minutes, then satisfied he was asleep, he pulled the chair between the two beds and sat down. Despite his best intentions, his days of ceaseless searching caught up with him, his eyes closed and he was soon asleep.
~~~~~
Teal’c and Hammond walked into the ward and found them that way.
"Your hypothesis about DanielJackson’s location was correct General Hammond."
The older man snorted softly as he picked up Jack’s chart hanging at the foot of the bed and strived to make sense of the words. He certainly was no doctor, but he’d been through enough bedside vigils to have a layman’s knowledge of the jargon.
"Sometimes I think Dr. Jackson’s allergic to beds," he said softly.
Teal’c merely quirked an eyebrow as he stepped behind the general. "What is Colonel O’Neill’s condition?"
"I’m no doctor Teal’c, but I think we’re going to wish he could always be this quiet. It’s going to be a long eight weeks."
"General?"
"It normally takes a human 6-8 weeks to mend a broken bone," Hammond explained.
Teal’c nodded. "And Colonel O’Neill is far too impatient to give himself time to heal."
Hammond nodded and replaced Jack’s chart. He walked to Sam’s bed.
"What about Captain Carter?"
"The doctor thinks the swelling is going down. He’s just reluctant to take her off the respirator until he’s sure."
"And this respirator?"
"There’s a tube down her throat which is hooked to a machine that is breathing for her."
"And what will happen when she awakens?"
"Most likely she’ll fight it."
"Why would she fight that which is helping her?"
"She won’t mean to... Teal’c, it can be very difficult and uncomfortable to be intubated like that. It interferes with the normal human gag reflex. Also her body will try to breathe on its own...the human body doesn’t like to accept something controlling it."
Teal’c nodded. "This means when she awakes..."
"It’ll most likely be traumatic for her."
"What can we do to make it less traumatic?"
"Someone needs to stay with her...to be here when she wakes up. Help her, get a doctor."
Teal’c pulled a chair and sat on the other side of Sam’s bed. "Then I will remain here to watch over Captain Carter," he stated resolutely.
"Are you sure Teal’c? Could be a long wait."
"I will remain."
Hammond nodded gratefully. "Good. When she wakes up, just press the button here," Hammond instructed as he pulled the call button closer.
Teal’c nodded and closed his eyes as he sought a light medative state.
Hammond took one last look at the four quiescent members of SG-1. They may be battered and bruised this time, but they were all here.
~~~~~
It was morning, at least Daniel guessed it was morning. It was hard to keep track of time when the sun never set. Of course the smell of bacon, eggs and coffee were often a dead give away. Daniel wiped sleep from his eyes and looked around the room. Jack was still asleep, snoring softly. Teal’c was seated on the other side of Sam’s bed, his eyes closed and his posture relaxed but alert. Daniel turned his attention to the woman in the bed. She lay there, her chest rising and falling in time with the machines. Daniel took her slack hand and brushed a few strands of hair off her forehead.
"Hey Sam, you ready to wake up yet? I know the scenery kind of sucks but sleeping the day away isn’t going to help. Besides we’ve got to plan how to keep Jack occupied while he’s laid up. I mean there are only so many hockey games on. If we don’t come up with something, you and I are going to have him rattling around in our labs, keeping us from getting anything done. And if we go off-world without him, poor Simmons will be begging for mercy. You know Jack scares him to death...come on Sam. Why don’t you squeeze my hand? Give me a sign here." Daniel stopped as he felt a lump start to form in his throat. He heard a movement and looked over Sam to meet Teal’c’s concerned gaze.
"General Hammond said the doctor felt she would awaken soon."
Daniel nodded. "I hope so." He nodded his head towards Jack. "If she doesn’t wake up he’ll never forgive himself."
Teal’c nodded sagely. "O’Neill takes his responsibility for those under his command very seriously."
"Ya think?" Daniel replied with a slight smile.
Teal’c merely quirked his eyebrow.
"You know I ..." Daniel’s sentence remained unfinished as he felt a slight stirring in Sam’s hand. "Sam? You hear me? Sam?" In response to his questions he felt her fingers move, more deliberately now. Daniel searched her face and saw her eyelids begin to flutter. "Teal’c...she’s waking up," he said excitedly.
Teal’c stood up. "You must keep her calm. I will go retrieve the doctor," he said as he strode purposefully from the room.
Daniel watched Teal’c leave then returned his attention to his friend. She raised one hand weakly towards the tube stuck in her throat. Daniel easily grabbed it.
"Sam...you got a tube down your throat to help you breathe. Don’t fight it..." He saw her eyes open and fill with fear as she tried to breathe at her own pace and the machine wouldn’t let her. She began to weakly struggle against the alien feeling of the respirator. "Sam, Sam...listen to me...it’s OK...don’t fight it...we’ll take it out, as soon as the doctor gets here...listen to me Sam...just relax...relax..." His words failed to penetrate her confused brain. Finally Daniel grabbed her head and forced her to look him in the eyes. "Sam...it’s Daniel...you recognize me?" He saw her try to nod. "Just relax...we’ll take the tube out OK. But you’ve got to relax. Trust me." He saw her try to nod again as the doctor entered the room, trailed by Teal’c. "Doc, she’s awake and she’s fighting the respirator. Can we take it out?"
The doctor took one look at the struggling woman. "Captain, I’m going to turn off the respirator. When I tell you to just breathe out and I’ll remove the tube, OK?" Sam nodded. He unhooked the tube from the machine and grasped the end. "Now captain, breathe out." Sam did as he said and the tube slid out accompanied by a fit of coughing caused by the sheer un-naturalness of the act. Daniel helped her sit up as she coughed harshly, gasping for breath. "Here," said the doctor as he thrust an oxygen mask over Sam’s mouth. She brought her left hand up and grasped it weakly as she struggled to control her breathing. "Just relax captain. Breath normally. Try not to hyperventilate." She nodded as she tried to slow her frantic breathing. "Do you know where you are?"
"Murdo," she whispered, pulling the mask away from her face.
The doctor nodded. "Good. What’s the last thing you remember?"
Sam wrinkled her brow as the tried to think. "Head hurt."
"Good. I don’t think you’ve suffered any permanent damage. We’ll do a full neurological test later. Right now, why don’t you rest captain." Sam nodded, laid back and closed her eyes.
"So she’s OK?" Daniel asked the doctor.
He shrugged and smiled. "Looks that way," he reassured as he replaced his stethoscope around his neck.
"Thank you doctor." Teal’c said.
The man nodded as he left the room.
"Danny, what the hell’s going on?"
Daniel turned to face a very concerned Jack. "Jack, she’s awake. She’s OK," Daniel said.
Jack looked at the sleeping woman curled up on the adjoining bed. ‘Damn, that was way too close.’ "Sweet Danny...real sweet."
~~~~~
Three weeks later SG-1 were gathered in Jack’s living room. Dr. Frasier finally sent him home a few days earlier, mainly to preserve her own sanity. The breaking point had been when she came into the infirmary at 2am to find Jack, Teal’c and various members of SG-3 and 6 playing poker, using her tongue depressors and cotton balls as stakes. So she happily turned over the responsibility of keeping Jack entertained to his team. Hammond helped by giving Teal’c permission to live at Jack’s house until the colonel was cleared for duty. Citing an extreme back-log of artifacts to catalog, Daniel was spending his days in his office. Since her cracked ribs were still healing, and she sometimes suffered from bad headaches, Sam was on light duty, her days spent tinkering in her lab.
Right now she was sprawled on Jack’s sofa, waiting for Daniel and Teal’c to return with dinner and nursing the beer Janet would have a fit if she knew she was drinking. Jack was ensconced in his armchair, flanked by his crutches.
"I could get used to this," Sam said contentedly stretching her legs out on his couch.
"What?" Jack asked smiling a bit at the sight of his captain lounging on his couch, wiggling her stockinged feet. For some reason the thought of how close she’d come to dying still made him feel sick.
"Daniel and Teal’c getting the food for once. Do you know the managers at Mo’s Pizza, Dragon Palace and Pepe’s don’t even ask for my id anymore when I write a check?"
"You don’t get the food THAT often," Jack protested.
Sam gave him ‘the look’.
He looked a little guilty and gave in. "OK. So you do get it most of the time. Daniel always forgets something," he complained.
"Mmmhm," she replied as she finished her beer.
"Need another?"
"Huh?" she looked over at Jack.
"Another beer? I won’t tell Janet if you don’t," he promised.
"Sure, why not," she said as she started to get up.
"Nah. Stay there. I gotta get up anyway. My leg’s gettin stiff," Jack maneuvered himself up on his crutches and saw Sam shoot a look at his casted leg. "The other one Carter...and there’s still no giggling."
"Yes sir," she replied with a smile on her face as she laid back on the sofa, enjoying the simple pleasures of a cold beer, warm surroundings and being alive. She heard the metallic creaking of Jack’s crutches and the slight thunk of two bottles gently banging together.
"Here," Jack handed her the two bottles and the opener as he motioned for her to move her legs so he could join her on the couch. She obliged and opened the bottles as he sat down and carefully propped his leg on the coffee table. As soon as he laid his crutches on the floor she handed him his beer, flipping the opener and bottle tops to the table top.
"To central heating," he toasted. They clanked their bottles together and both drank deeply. They sat there for a few minutes. Jack took another deep drink and broke the silence. "Don’t ever scare me like that again Sam."
She met his serious gaze. "Huh?"
"In that ward. You scared the hell outta me. All I could do was lie there and watch you. You were dying and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life...Not since...not since I watched Charlie die."
Sam’s face turned introspective as she remembered the events in the McMurdo infirmary. "You know...I...aah...I’ve never been so scared. Everything was so out of control. When I woke up...I couldn’t even breathe..." She shuddered and her admission hung in the air for a moment.
"You shouldn’t have come back." Jack stated.
"What?"
"Once you got to the surface...you should have kept going."
"Go where?"
"Anywhere...found a village."
"Colonel, it’s Antarctica. Most of the scientists bug out in the winter. There are no villages."
"You didn’t know that. You didn’t even look." he accused.
"Sir, don’t you think I’ve been on enough deserted worlds in the past year to know one when I see one?"
"Obviously not. Unless we’re sharing this planet with 5 billion imaginary people." he said sarcastically.
Sam sighed. "Colonel, you didn’t see what I did. Snow, rocks, sky. There was no smoke, no signs of life. And it was damned cold. At least 20 degrees colder than in that cave. And the wind chill was worse. If I’d stayed on the surface, I’d of frozen in a couple of hours. Besides..." She stopped, realizing she’d said too much.
"Besides?" He prodded.
Sam took a deep breath and threw caution to the wind. "If I was going to buy it on some hunk of ice light years from home I’d be damned if I was going to die alone."
"So you came back down there to die with me?" he asked quietly.
Sam nodded. "You...aah...I knew you didn’t have much longer left. And I could have started walking, but...I figured I’d definitely be dead by nightfall. I knew if I stayed in the cave I’d have maybe a day left..." she shrugged. "I don’t know. I guess I resigned myself to dying... I just couldn’t do it alone. Or let anyone else." Her admission startled him.
"Sam..."
She cut him off. "You know my mom died?" Jack nodded as he watched her start to fiddle with her bottle of beer, peeling the label off. "My dad came home from...wherever he was and my birthday was in a coupla weeks. The one thing I really wanted was for the four of us to have a night together to celebrate. I mean we were lucky to have Christmas together. Birthdays were usually celebrated with a phone call from what ever country he was in. Since we were celebrating early, my mom hadn’t gotten my present yet so dad said he’d drop her off at the mall while he tied up some loose ends at the base." Sam took a big swallow of her beer and sighed. "He ran late. Mom was impatient since she still needed to cook dinner so she called a cab. On the way home the driver apparently had a heart attack. He lost control of the car and it left the highway. She ended up about 100 yards off the road, pinned in the wreckage and out of sight of the passing cars. They found them three hours later. The driver died almost immediately, but my mom laid there, trapped in the wreckage and slowly bled to death." Sam closed her eyes against the memories.
Jack put a comforting hand on her legs. "God Sam, I’m sorry."
She acknowledged him and looked him in the eyes. "You know what scares me more than getting smashed on the iris or getting taken as a host?...It’s the thought of dying alone. I couldn’t stay up there on the surface. If I was going to die it was going to be at the side of the best CO I’ve had."
Jack felt a lump form in the back of his throat in reaction to Sam’s heart felt admission. They looked each other in the eyes for a minute as they shared a moment of mutual respect and acknowledged the formation of a unique bond. The kind formed by shared experiences. He solemnly held up his partial bottle of beer.
"To the best 2IC a colonel could want." Sam smiled as they clinked their bottles and drank their beer. "Even if she does giggle."
~fin~
Story Notes: e-mail- skydiver119@hotmail.com
category- epilogue, challenge response, #264 on Heliopolis, little angst, smarm
archive Heliopolis, stargate fan, s&j
spoilers- Solitudes, big time, in fact you really have to see it, and extremely minor one for the devil you know(nothing that would spoil that eps if you haven’t seen it)
season- 1 post-Solitudes
Note: to the person issuing the challenge...how they emote enough for you. enjoy.
category- epilogue, challenge response, #264 on Heliopolis, little angst, smarm
archive Heliopolis, stargate fan, s&j
spoilers- Solitudes, big time, in fact you really have to see it, and extremely minor one for the devil you know(nothing that would spoil that eps if you haven’t seen it)
season- 1 post-Solitudes
Note: to the person issuing the challenge...how they emote enough for you. enjoy.
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