It was all hallows eve, outside the wind howled through the creaky trees and the moon shone bright and full in the night sky, adding an eerie atmosphere to all that ventured out.
Deep inside Cheyenne mountain however, the festivities had already started, the music pumped out of the DJ's speakers and the partygoers where starting to gather in full fancy dress.
Sam sat alone in her quarters examining the item of clothing in front of her. "How do I get myself into these messes?" she asked her self, throwing the costume onto the bed. A quiet knock at the door brought her out of her musings. "Come in" she shouted over her shoulder, taking another quick look at the offending garment before turning round to see who her caller was.
Jack O'Neill stood there dressed in a full scarecrow costume; it had been jack's idea that SG-1 was to go as the characters off 'the wizard of oz', his favorite movie of all time. Sam had protested but an over enthusiastic archaeologist and a curious jaffa voted against her, two to one.
"Aww come on Carter. Don't tell me your not dressed yet!" Jack said, standing in the doorway.
Sam could only stare. "Wow you look great!" she said finally finding her voice.
You'd look great too 'Dorothy', if you hurried up and got dressed that is, jack said putting on his best whining voice.
"Actually sir, I'm waiting for Janet to get here, she's bringing the wig".
Janet chose that precise moment to arrive, ushering the colonel out of the room and locking the door so not to be disturbed, Janet handed the wig to Sam and popped her own garment bag down onto the bed next to Sam's dress.
"So. what did the colonel want?" Janet asked, her dirty mind going into overdrive. "Think he was hoping to catch you at an inopportune moment?" She continued, waggling her eyebrows.
"No!" Sam answered defensively. "He was just checking to see if I was dressed yet, that's all".
"And what if you weren't dressed yet?", Janet asked continuing her line of questioning.
"Janet! God you have a dirty mind!"
"I know, great isn't it?"
"I told you Janet all colonel O'Neill was here for was to see if we where ready to leave yet!" Sam said, ignoring her last question.
"Ok, if you say so", Janet said, a suppressed grin threatening to show.
Giving Janet an exasperated look, Sam picked up her dress and started getting ready while Janet headed into the bathroom to fix her make-up.
Twenty minutes later, and Janet and Sam where standing waiting for the elevator to arrive, getting quite a few admiring looks from male passes by. The elevator doors slid open to reveal the rest of SG-1.
"Oh Wow!" Jack and Daniel breathed seeing the two women in there costume's, Teal'c mealy raised an eyebrow. Sam, of course was Dorothy, her dress was blue gingham, with a tight bodice that showed off all her curves and flowing skirt that ended just below the knee. Janet on the other hand was dressed as the good fairy in a tight pink dress; as she had decided the puffy 'thing' just wasn't 'her', with a light pink lace over the top and a crown and wand to set off the ensemble.
"Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser, you both look most attractive". Teal'c spoke brining the other two men in the elevator out of there trance.
"Yeah you look nice" jack said nervously "I told ya you'd look good all dressed up.. Not that you don't usually look good. I mean. err. oh you know what I mean" jack finished looking at the imaginary hole he'd just dug for himself.
"You guys look great", Daniel said casting a knowing glance at Janet.
"You three look good too," Sam spoke, looking at the boys in their costumes, jack as the scarecrow with no brain, his clothes tatted and quite tight with straw poking out of them. Daniel the cowardly lion was dressed in an all in one fur suit with his face painted as what looked like a cat in pain, but since jack had done the face paint they hadn't been expecting much. And finally Teal'c. Since Teal'c was to big for the suit in the store, they had got his old metal suit that he wore as first prime and revamped it to look like the tin man, finishing it off with a funnel that they strapped to his head.
Stepping out of the elevator they where greeted by pumpkins, skeleton's, and even more creepy decorations lining the hallway.
The five friends walked the rest of the way to the party laughing and joking about each other's costumes and those of passersby.
Reaching the commissary they could barely hold in their laughter. There in front of them stood lieutenant Simmons dressed in nothing but a giant diaper.
"Simmons. Cool outfit. You're the baby out of the huggies commercial right?" jack asked causing the others to burst out into laughter.
"Actually I think he looks more like the kid out of the pampas commercial", Daniel said, recovering only slightly before collapsing in a fit of giggles.
Simmons, not looking amused at all, picked up his bow and arrow and walked away in a huff.
"I believe you may have upset him Colonel O'Neill" Teal'c stated simply.
"Oh C'mon Teal'c. If you go to a fancy dress party as cupid you have to expect to be wound up".
Seeing Teal'c raising an eyebrow in confusion, jack answered, "an expression Teal'c, you don't literally wind him up".
Offering an understanding nod, but clearly not understanding a thing, Teal'c walked off into the crowd.
"Ok guys lets mingle" jack said heading over to the punch bowl, "anyone want one"? He offered, shouting over his shoulder. Receiving no answer, he turned around noticing that the others hadn't followed and he was on his own. From his position in the room, he could see Janet talking to one of the nurses. Daniel was off in at a table with one of the other archaeologist, and from his rapid hand movements he could tell that he was talking about one of his 'rocks'. Jack had to laugh when he saw Teal'c being dragged onto the makeshift dance floor by a 5'2" captain in a tutu. His smile soon turned sour when he noticed Sam, being chatted up by major Caulfield, the new 2IC of SG-8. His heart sank; he'd meet the major before, he was young. Attractive, or in jacks own words a 'pretty boy', and he was also a scientist, an 'astrophysicist' to be exact, so Sam could actually talk to him in techno-babble and have him understand her.
"Just great!" jack quietly exclaimed.
"What was that son?"
Jack spun around only to be confronted by Elvis Presley, the Vegas years.
"General. Nice wig" jack said sarcastically, barely holding back a smirk.
"Curb the sarcasm colonel" General Hammond said with a grin of his own, "I'll have you know that I'm a very big Elvis fan!" he added with a mock glare.
"Yes sir, and I have to say I love the outfit"
"Thank you very much" the general said using his best Elvis impersonation.
This was enough to make jack collapse in a fit of laughter that so far he'd managed to suppress.
"Colonel I suggest if you ever want to make general in your lifetime, you walk away now".
"Yes sir" jack answered quietly.
Turning around jack noticed that Sam wasn't talking to major 'pretty boy' anymore. She was now dancing with him, and he was definitely holding her to close for jacks liking.
Jack casually walked over to where his major and major 'pretty boy' where dancing, like he didn't have a care in the word, yet on the inside he wanted to rip the guy's guts out.
"Major may I cut in?" jack asked the pretty boy, not waiting for an answer before he moved to dance off in the opposite direction.
"Yes sir". The major answered, a little afraid of what jack might do to him if he said no.
"I knew you wouldn't mind *major*", jack said brushing him off and dancing further away, leaving the 'pretty boy' standing on his own in the middle of the dance floor.
"What the hell was that about!"
"What?" jack asked innocently.
"What!" Sam repeated. "I was having fun there!".
"And you wouldn't have fun dancing with me?" jack asked pouting.
Looking into his big brown puppy dog eyes, Sam knew that she couldn't stay mad at him, no matter how much she wanted to.
"Of course I'll have fun dancing with you but you could have waited you know, I would have danced with you after dancing with Millhouse".
"Millhouse?" Jack asked glancing over in the direction of 'pretty boy' "his names millhouse? Like the kid off the Simpson's?"
Groaning, Sam laid her forehead on jack shoulder. "Great! Now every time I look at him I'm gonna see a geek with blue hair! Thanks a lot".
"Your welcome" jack whispered in her ear, pulling her closer as Frank Sinatra's #witchcraft# started to play over the loud speakers.
Those fingers in my hair,
That sly come hither stare,
That strips my conscience bare,
It's witchcraft.
Sam, against her better judgement, snuggled further into jack's arms. His cologne penetrated her senses, driving her wild as they moved sensually on the dance floor.
And I've got no defense for it,
The heat is too intense for it,
What good would common sense for it do.
Jack was in heaven. Holding her closely in his arms and gently swaying to the music, he wondered how much better life could get.
'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft,
And although, I know, it's strictly taboo.
Noticing how close his two friends where dancing, Daniel glanced quickly at general Hammond, who was totally oblivious to the two officers, who where weaving a spell around each other in the middle of the crowded dance floor.
When you arouse the need in me,
My heart says yes indeed in me,
Proceed with what you're leading me to.
Running his hand slowly up and down Sam's spine, he was surprised to feel her shiver involuntary under his touch.
It's such an ancient pitch, But one I wouldn't switch, 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you.
"Its getting pretty hot in here" jack remarked as the music faded away, not actually knowing if it was hot in there or if it was just him.
"Yeah it is. You err. you want to take a walk?" Sam asked hesitantly.
"Sure I think I need a little air. Well as much air as you can get buried under a mountain" he answered with a smile.
They walked out of the crowded commissary and into the now empty hallway, "Ya know, jack asked as soon as they where far enough away from the noise, Teal'c was telling me about the tradition of kissing under the dangly spider...."
"The dangly spider?" Sam asked confused.
"He's been talking to Daniel lately about the different holiday traditions and I think he got it confused with mistletoe"
"Oh." Sam said, nervously glancing upwards, noticing a black object with eight legs hanging from the ceiling.
"Yeah" jack answered, his lips coming into contact with her own.
At first Sam hesitated, until jack took it upon himself to deepen the kiss, his tongue entering her mouth. Sam soon started relaxing, sinking deeper and deeper into the kiss.
"Ahem!", came a loud noise from behind them. Jumping apart, Sam and jack looked like two teenagers caught behind the bike shed.
"Well don't you two look sweet", Janet said with a huge smile on her face.
"Did you guys now I'm a scarecrow/Dorothy shipper?" Daniel asked, receiving an angry look off jack and an embarrassed one off Sam.
"Daniel?"
"Yes jack"
"Go away!"
"Well Janet, looks as if where not wanted" Daniel said with mock hurt.
"Why don't we go back to the party and let these two get back to what they where doing before we came along and interrupted" Janet said giving Sam a 'you better tell me later' look.
"Now." jack said as the elevator doors slid open, "Where were we?"
"I think we where just about here" Sam answered pulling jack into the waiting elevator.
Looking back down the corridor before going back into the party Daniel and Janet saw the elevator doors shut behind their friends, who at the time where kissing passionately, and that was the last time that they were seen for the remainder of the party.
DE END
Story Notes: E-mail: jay.sgshipper@cableinet.co.uk
SPOILERS: None
SEASON/SEQUEL: None
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, S/J, Shipperworld, anyone else please ask.
STATUS: Complete
AUTHORS NOTE: This is my attempt at funny but don't know if it worked. I would also like to apologise in advance for any disturbing mental images you might get by reading this. Anyway I want to thank all the girls in chat that helped me out with this and that kept shouting at me to write. At one time I did get quite scared and hid under the desk but they talked me out. And I want to send a big thank you to floey for betaing.
FEEDBACK: If ya want to send feedback my addys at the top of the page.
SPOILERS: None
SEASON/SEQUEL: None
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, S/J, Shipperworld, anyone else please ask.
STATUS: Complete
AUTHORS NOTE: This is my attempt at funny but don't know if it worked. I would also like to apologise in advance for any disturbing mental images you might get by reading this. Anyway I want to thank all the girls in chat that helped me out with this and that kept shouting at me to write. At one time I did get quite scared and hid under the desk but they talked me out. And I want to send a big thank you to floey for betaing.
FEEDBACK: If ya want to send feedback my addys at the top of the page.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]