samandjack.net

Story Notes: Spoilers: Past and Present
Season/Sequel info: Fifth in the Danny Lurks series, sequel to Challenged. Set after Past and Present, Season three
Personally, I blame this on Ness. Normally I wouldn't consider inflicting another Danny Lurks story on you so soon after the last one. Just be grateful it's short! It started when she sent me... well, you'll see what she sent me when you read the story. Elspeth's site - Richard Dean Anderson Desktop Themes & Wallpapers can be found at - http://members.xoom.com/ElspethMac/index.html The e-mail address in the story is FAKE! It doesn't work and is purely a figment of Ness' imagination....
I'd like to thank Siobhan for the 'information' concerning Past and Present.


Sam Carter had just put the finishing touches to an impressive array of junk food when the doorbell rang. Walking through into the hall to open it, she smiled in expectation of an evening at home with good friends. As she reached out to grab hold of the doorknob, voices drifted in from outside.

"Daniel, for crying out loud..."

"Look, Jack..." Daniel stopped in mid-sentence as Sam opened the door.

The three other members of SG1 were standing on her doorstep, each holding a package of some sort. Jack handed over what appeared to be a bottle. "Supplies," he explained.

Smiling, she motioned them into the living room. "Can I take your coats? Get you all drinks?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," said Jack, handing her his jacket. "I'll have a beer. Guys?"

Teal'c and Daniel nodded in agreement and Sam went through to the kitchen to fix the drinks. "Sam?" shouted Daniel. "Would you mind if I used your computer to check my e-mail?"

"What?" came the muffled reply from the kitchen.

Daniel turned to Jack. "I didn't catch that. What did she say?"

"I think she said it would be OK."

Shrugging, Daniel made his way over to Sam's computer and switched it on. It was booting up when Sam came into the room. "What are you doing, Daniel?"

"Checking my e-mail. I did ask. Jack said you said yes." He shot O'Neill a vicious look.

"Well, I didn't..." Sam began. She stopped dead when her desktop appeared on the screen.

Daniel couldn't help smiling. "Oh.... my..." he stammered, as he stared at the nicely arranged photos of Jack framed by a very tasteful dark blue background. Sam turned beetroot and dived for the mouse but Jack was faster, putting his hand over it while he stared open-mouthed at the screen.

"Carter, why do you have me on your computer? Or is it me? It's not, is it? It's Mr. Minimum Whumpability."

Sam stood there, her mouth forming a little 'o', completely at a loss for something to say. Jack stared at her and she stared back. You could have heard a pin drop.

"Jack?" Daniel broke the uneasy silence. "The photos are you. Look at them - there isn't a broom cupboard in sight. In fact, two of them are outdoors."

"Thank you for your support, Dr. Jackson," mumbled Sam, through gritted teeth.

"Sam?" asked Jack gently.

She took a deep breath. "I found the wallpaper on the web. On Elspeth's site. She's done lots of them."

"That still doesn't explain..." started Jack but Daniel cut him off.

"Elspeth's on the list, isn't she? I think she did some wallpapers with me on too...."

Teal'c watched his friends curiously. Sometimes he would never understand the Tau'ri. Frowning, he decided that they would probably all be happier if he changed the subject slightly. "Daniel Jackson, you have not mentioned 'the list' recently. Do you no longer lurk?"

It was Daniel's turn to look uncomfortable. "Yeah, but....."

"But what, Danny? You got a slapped wrist from the Listmom?"

"No! I never post, remember? It's difficult to break list rules when you don't say anything."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure you'd find a way."

"So, what's the problem, Daniel? You've got us all curious now," asked Sam.

Daniel let out a heartfelt sigh. "All right then. It was after our last mission. There were 'comments' about me."

"Comments?" echoed Sam.

"About you?" added Jack. "I thought it was supposed to be the Sam and Jack list."

"One or two of them didn't like the way I behaved."

Jack put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes heavenwards. "You make out with the Destroyer of Worlds and you expect them to like it?"

Daniel glared at Jack, his eyes narrowing. Sam watched her two friends, worried that the colonel really had gone too far this time. "Daniel? You wanted to check your mail? Expecting something special?" There was a nervous edge to Sam's voice as she selected the program for Daniel.

"Yeah, I should be getting a second opinion on some artefacts from a guy I know in LA. He said he'd mail today." The atmosphere was distinctly frosty as Daniel dialled in and checked his mail. "No, nothing from Mike but there is a personal mail...... hey, guys! Look at this!" Sam, Jack and Teal'c leaned over Daniel's shoulder and began to read.



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Date: Sat, 23 Oct, 1999
To: "Dr. D. Jackson" djackson@sgc.gov
From: sjarchive@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: New: A Stargate SG1 Fairy Tale

Hi D. Jackson,

First, congrat's on a great story--really loved it. :> I liked the way Teal'c's symbiont was called "Junior The Small"--great touch. Also liked Sam's dress--how ugly can you get?! :> The conversation's between Sam and Jack had me LOL'ing--never thought of Jack being the "polite" knight before. :> :> :>

Anyway, just wanted to ask your permission to archive the story at the SJA--hate for it not to be included. Providing yes, could you please send me the rating, summary, spoiler's and classification info? Thanks in advance--that'd be great.

Also, just as a word of advice, you should really list that information whenever posting a story. Full info is available in the SJ List Rules which are currently being updated. You can find them in the Smorgasbord section of the SJA. Also, and this is for your protection if nothing else *please* include a disclaimer with your story--we don't wanna get TPTB annoyed with your work! :>

Anyway, thanks again for a great story and please contact me if you have any problems. :> I look forward to your next story. :>

Ness
~archive mom~

PS. Nice name :> though I am curious, how'd you get your email account to read "@sgc.gov"?



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Jack was the first to speak. "Well, I'll be......"

"You sent it to the list? And you used your own e-mail address? Daniel!!!"

"Nobody will believe it's really me. There's at least one Sam Carter on the list and that's not you, is it?"

"Ness loved it......." said Jack dreamily.

"She liked the name 'Junior the small', added Teal'c, letting out a big sigh.

"....and she wants to archive it. And she thinks I'm polite. No-one's ever said that about me before," finished the colonel, a wistful expression on his face.

Sam and Daniel exchanged a worried look. "I hope this doesn't go to their heads," whispered Daniel. Sam grinned. "Shall we mail her back and give permission, Jack?" asked Daniel.

"Of course! What's this..." he peered over Daniel's shoulder again. "... rating, summary, spoilers and classification?"

"Well, 'rating' is like the movies, so that'll be PG. 'Spoilers' is if we refer to any past missions, which we don't, so that'll be none. 'Classification' is type of story. I guess Fairytale/SJ Romance would just about cover it. So all we need now is a summary of the story." Daniel turned round. "Come on, guys. Help me out here."

"How about 'the fair Samantha is imprisoned by the wicked King Maybourne and three knights set forth to rescue her'," suggested Sam.

"Sounds good," agreed Daniel.

"Shouldn't you include something about Jack the brave shredding her dress?" asked Jack. Sam stared at him, her eyes like saucers.

Daniel sighed. "No, Jack. That would give the whole plot away."

"Shame. It'd make me want to read it. You OK, Carter? Nasty cough you've got there." He looked back at the screen. "So what's a disclaimer?"

"It's a note saying the characters don't belong to you and anyway, any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental," explained Daniel. He frowned. All four members of SG1 looked at each other. In the ensuing silence, the whirring of mental cogs was almost audible.

"OK, kids. Anyone else think this is a little..... weird?"

"I guess it doesn't really apply to us, does it?" ventured Sam.

"No," agreed Daniel, "but we'd better put one in. Ness says that the TPTB might get upset if we don't."

"TPTB?" asked Jack.

"Don't know. I'm hopeless with acronyms," said Daniel. "It's the initials for something.... how about The Piranhas That Bite?"

Sam grimaced. "Doubtful. The Perfect Tea Bag?"

"Carter! For crying out loud! You're worried about annoying a tea bag?"

"Sorry, sir. Can you think of anything?" she asked, smiling sweetly at her commanding officer.

"Ten Pretty Tired Baboons?"

Sam didn't dignify his suggestion with an answer, she just looked at him.

Teal'c cleared his throat. "I believe it stands for The Powers That Be, O'Neill."

"Right. We knew that," Jack said emphatically. Sam and Daniel looked at him, not believing a word. He continued. "So we put a disclaimer in saying that we're not real and we don't belong to us so that we don't annoy General Hammond?"

"I guess," agreed Daniel doubtfully. "I'll mail Ness, shall I?" He began to type.



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Date: Sat, 23 Oct, 1999
To: sjarchive@yahoo.com
From: "Dr. D. Jackson" djackson@sgc.gov
Subject: Re: New: A Stargate SG1 Fairy Tale

Hi Ness,

>First, congrat's on a great story--really loved it. :>

Thanks very much!

The conversation's
>between Sam and Jack had me LOL'ing--never thought of Jack being the
>"polite" knight before. :> :> :>

Actually, neither had I.

>Anyway, just wanted to ask your permission to archive the story at
>the SJA--hate for it not to be included. Providing yes, could you
>please send me the rating, summary, spoiler's and classification
>info? Thanks in advance--that'd be great.

I'd be honoured for it to be included. Archive away!
Rating: PG
Summary: the fair Samantha is imprisoned by the wicked King Maybourne and three knights set forth to rescue her
Spoilers: none
Classification: Challenge response, fairytale, SJ Romance

> Also, and this is for your
>protection if nothing else *please* include a disclaimer with your
>story--we don't wanna get TPTB annoyed with your work! :>

Could you attach the standard disclaimer, please? Thank you.

>Anyway, thanks again for a great story and please contact me if you
>have any problems. :> I look forward to your next story. :>

Thank you for the feedback. It was unexpected and most welcome. At this stage, I'm not sure if there will be a 'next story'.

>Ness
>~archive mom~

>PS. Nice name :>

Well, I'm kind of used to it......

though I am curious, how'd you get your email
>account to read "@sgc.gov"?

That would be classified.

Regards
D.Jackson



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"There! I've sent it," said Daniel, as he switched off the computer.

Teal'c inclined his head. "At a future date, shall we write another one? I found the exercise most enjoyable."

"Yeah, one day, Teal'c," said Jack, as he slumped on the sofa. He grinned and glanced sideways at Sam. "You know, the more I think about it, the more I like the sound of the NC17 challenge...."



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the end




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