I haven't needed a night light since I was two years old.
I've seen some things scarier than anything that goes bump in the Colorado Springs night.. So, no, I'm not afraid of the dark. I don't really mind being alone, either. I've often savored the hours spent in the solitude of my lab. I can take care of myself.
Why am I having such a hard time sleeping?
It's not because he's out on some dangerous mission. D.C. may not be his favorite destination, but it's not exactly a Goa'uld stronghold. Even if it was, it certainly wouldn't be the first time. Before I could write, I was drawing pictures for my father who was away from us for months at a time. I know what it means to have a father, fiancé, friend gone and even missing. It's silly to lose sleep over someone who is only a cell phone call away.
But there's something else not right. I think it's this house, maybe even this bed. It's too big for one person. After being single for what seemed like forever, it only took, what, three months for me to be utterly dependent on his presence. How unlike me.
Everything is different now.
No apartment or dorm room shared with a roommate can compare to the way his presence permeates this house, even in his absence. Even when I've been engaged, my personal space was always mine.
His pillow smells good. This is dumb.
After being his friend for all these years, nothing prepared me for the difference a day makes. A simple ceremony, a piece of paper, vows, and rings -- suddenly I'm a wife. Three months later, I'm a wife with insomnia.
C'mon airman! You need sleep to maintain top efficiency. Anything less endangers your mission, your team, your planet.
He's probably been asleep for hours. Why not? Hotel beds have nothing on this bed. It's almost too comfortable, with sheets and pillows that we picked out together. Still, it isn't just right without him.
Well, Goldilocks, you didn't have this much trouble sleeping on the ground a few weeks ago. Have you already forgotten how to sleep alone?
**Lieutenant Colonel Doctor Samantha O'Neill turned to face the empty space in her bed, hugged her husband's pillow to herself, inhaled deeply twice and began to slow her mind enough to get some sleep.**
~end~
Copyright (c) 2005 Allie O'Neal
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]