~~~Å~~~
Part Six
Daniel sat in the co-pilot's chair beside his stoic friend as the ship hurtled through the atmosphere of the planet. His chair shook violently as did most of the ship as Teal'c spoke, "Get ready to close the valve when I instruct."
Daniel gulped slightly and nodded to show he was ready. The Jaffa pointed to a button before Daniel. He couldn't help thinking how much this was like a bad Action movie. All they needed was the Evil bald guy with the fluffy white cat… Concentrate, Daniel!
Another air ripping shriek of pain sent shivers down Daniel's spine. He couldn't even begin to comprehend the pain Sam must be in, what with that Goa'uld messing with her head. If what Teal'c said was right the only reason the Goa'uld hadn't killed her was because it didn't have full control over her, but it could make her suffer.
As the aircraft continued to plummet through the planet's atmosphere, Daniel realised he needed to get a grip of himself. This was backed-up when Teal'c spoke anxiously, "Are you able to do this, Daniel Jackson?"
"Yes. I'm sorry."
Teal'c spoke, trying to keep Daniel alert whilst steering the vessel through the clouds as it jerked and shuddered due to turbulence, "You must try and ignore Samantha O'Neill, however torturous disregarding her is."
Daniel nodded his finger hovering over the correct button. The ship began to get very hot and Daniel could feel beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. Yet another unfathomable agony burnt through Sam as a scream was ripped from her throat. Daniel felt memories of Netu coming into his head. The heat and the scream of agony seemed to be distracting him. That was the problem the exposure to the hand device in the torture had had. His concentration was at an all time low. All he wanted to do was sleep. It was so warm…
"Daniel Jackson!"
Daniel jolted upright, his eyes opening swiftly. He spoke apologetically, "Sorry."
The drowsiness and lack of concentration were temporary, but he had to concentrate. If he didn't, they would all die. The ship was shuddering violently as they left the clouds. Daniel's teeth chattered together as he fought to stop his hand from touching the button too soon. After a few moments a red warning light began to flash and a Goa'uld Warning filled the air. The heat was almost unbearable and Daniel was shaking so hard he wouldn't be surprised if his brain was now scrambled like an egg.
Daniel stared at the approaching canopy before them as Teal'c yelled over the din, "Now!"
Daniel pushed the button as the ship began to hit the treetops and then hurtled downwards into the ground with a huge jerk and a flurry of soil spraying up from the ground. The screens and all the power switched off and the ship was sent into pitch black.
After a few seconds of confusion, Daniel spoke faintly, "Teal'c? You OK?"
From beside him came the familiar voice, "I am well, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel turned so he was looking behind him. The ship was sticking out of the ground so when he looked behind he was actually looking slightly upwards. He spoke worriedly, "Jack? Sam?"
Jack's voice came from the darkness, "My head's a bit sore, but I'll be OK. Sam's as well as can be expected, but the Snake's messi-…"
A cry of pain came from the pitch black and Jack's voice became an inaudible murmur. After a few moments he spoke again, "We have to get out of here."
Due to the fact the ship was sticking out of the ground at an awkward angle, it would be quite difficult to crawl out and open the trapdoor. Daniel spoke, "Don't move yet else you'll come sliding back down here with me and Teal'c."
Shuddery sobs could be heard from behind them as he heard Jack say distractedly, "OK," before going back to murmuring gently to his wife.
Teal'c spoke, "I shall attempt to climb up to the trapdoor and open it."
Daniel stared into the darkness behind and above him, "It's quite a steep slope, Teal'c. Be careful or you could slip down and hurt yourself."
"I will indeed take care."
He noticed as the shadow beside him unbuckled his belt and slid forward slightly so he was leant over the controls. He rolled onto his back so he was lying facing upwards. He grabbed either side of his seat and pulled himself forward, and then around the chair. Slowly the strong Jaffa began to walk forwards, holding onto the walls and hoisting himself upwards with his muscular arms. The ship creaked worryingly and the just visible figure stopped for a moment.
Teal'c spoke in Jaffa alarm, which was not very alarmed at all, "This vessel does not appear to be entirely stable!"
Daniel spoke nervously, "We probably haven't dug into the soil deep enough for it to hold the ship in this position for long. It's overbalancing slightly. The worst that'll happen is the ship with thud back down."
"I agree. I shall continue."
After a couple of minutes of grunts of exertion from Teal'c and cries of pain from Sam, there was a clunk and the trapdoor dropped open slowly, the pistons straining stopping the trapdoor from opening too quickly.
Hot daylight filled the cool dark. Though Daniel realised his glasses were lying on the controls smashed and broken, he could finally see a lot better.
He glanced back behind him. Jack and Sam still huddled in the small inlet. Sam was silent now her eyes closed which was completely disconcerting. She was still huddled in a ball and sat in Jack's arms as he watched her anxiously.
"Jack?" Daniel asked anxiously.
Jack spoke almost in shock, "She's out cold. The pain must've been terrible."
Teal'c spoke, yet again taking control of the situation. It was strange. Daniel was so used to Jack being the leader, but many things had changed since their time as SG-1... "O'Neill, you must help Samantha O'Neill to the trapdoor. Daniel Jackson, keep your chair restraint fastened. If Colonel O'Neill and his spouse join me the ship may be overcome by gravity."
"Right," Daniel muttered as he watched Jack get up grabbing Sam's limp body before she slid down and slammed against the controls, a fall that would most likely be fatal.
He watched as the man spoke with a strange tone of uncertainty and doubtfulness, "Do you reckon we could use the rope and hoist her up?"
Daniel looked at the man surprised as he continued, "If I tie it around her tightly Teal'c can hoist her out and it would probably be the best way to get her out. Teal'c can then rush her to the gate and me and you can crawl out of here in our own time."
"I take back ever calling you stupid or dense or well… anything!"
Jack smiled and then frowned at Daniel before turning back to Teal'c, "I'll throw you the end of the rope. Think you can catch it?"
Teal'c nodded, "It seems that during my absence from Earth and the SGC that you suddenly doubt my abilities, O'Neill." When he got no response, the Jaffa muttered as irritable as he could be, "It was an attempt at lightening the mood." The silence that followed his comment said it all! In what had to be the equivalent of a Jaffa sulk, Teal'c caught the end of the rope in his hand and immediately fastened it to one of the pistons on the trapdoor.
Jack tied the other end around his wife with as much care as he could. When he was ready, he stared down at the woman he loved. The woman he'd thought he'd lost realising for the first time that fate could still take her from him again...
"O'Neill?"
"I just... Will I see her alive again?"
The question was one not meant to be answered. He placed a soft kiss on her lips as he whispered, "Fight it, Baby. Please. Don't leave me again."
He stroked a stray strand of golden hair from her eyes as he nodded to the Jaffa slowly. Teal'c began hoisting the woman up gently and carefully as the ship began to creak and groan, debating whether or not it wanted to collapse.
Teal'c finally had Sam next to him. Jack spoke, his voice faint and full of pain, "Take her straight to the Tok'ra home world."
Teal'c nodded, "Once there, I shall send word back to Earth of our detour."
Jack spoke and Daniel could hear the fear in Jack's voice, "Hurry."
That one word sent the Jaffa into action. Teal'c hurriedly lowered Sam to the floor outside the ship and then climbed down the rope himself, before tossing it back in.
Teal'c shouted to them, "Both Samantha O'Neill and I will encounter you soon," before his heavy running steps began to fade as he ran for the gate.
The last two passengers of the Cargo ship sat in silence for a while before Jack whispered, "I can't lose her again, Danny. I've only just found her..."
Daniel spoke comfortingly from his position down at the front of the ship, "It'll be OK, Jack. The Tok'ra will get rid of the Goa'uld and, somehow, we'll transfer Sam back into her body."
Jack rubbed his eyes, either swiping at tears or blinking back tiredness as he whispered, "I hope you're right."
"Come on, Jack! I'm always right!"
Jack snorted at his friend's humour, which he appreciated a lot. After a few more seconds of silence, he grabbed hold of the end of the rope, gave it an experimental tug before murmuring, "Well, here goes nothing..."
~~~Å~~~
Teal'c ran as fast as his legs would carry him, Samantha O'Neill drooping over his shoulders. Ahead, his eyes finally fell on the Stargate in amongst the luscious green foliage, the white sunlight brightly illuminating it and showing it for all its wonder and glory.
He stopped by the DHD and lowered the unconscious woman to the floor with the utmost care before hurriedly dialling the Tok'ra home world as he wiped sweat beads from his forehead, the heat of the planet and the exertion of running with the dead weight of the woman causing him to pant slightly.
When the gate began to spin and finally create an event horizon, Teal'c released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. All they'd needed was for the Gate to be inoperative to make matters worse.
He lifted the woman into his arms and sped up the steps and through the gate, stepping out onto golden sand dunes staring out across a barren desert. Barren indeed. All there was to see was warm sand, blue skies and the burning sun of this world. He stood by the Gate as a certain Colonel's voice echoed in his mind, 'Now what?'
Suddenly, figures appeared from rings that came up from the ground before him, showering sand around. The people were heavily armed and dressed in the usual Tok'ra uniform. Teal'c's eyebrow rose as he recognised a few members of the group...
"Jacob Carter?"
The older man shook his head at the Jaffa, "It's a long story, but right now I need to get that thing out of my daughter."
"Let me assist you, Selmac," said Anise as she beckoned Aldwin and two other Tok'ra Teal'c didn't recognise to lift the stretcher and walk over to the tired Jaffa. He placed Samantha O'Neill down on the taut material before he followed the Tok'ra to the rings and into the blue crystal tunnels of their base, far beneath the warm sand.
~~~Å~~~
Sam sat with her son in the living room watching Simpsons as Janet and Cassie took it in turns to monitor them. Sam let out a sigh, hoping to God that Jack, Daniel and Teal'c were alright. No word from them since they stepped onto that planet and it left her feeling worried.
She also felt hope, however small it was. A hope that they'd found her body that they'd worked out a way to get her back in there. It would be difficult Sam knew. Apophis had told her that only the stronger consciousness could survive. And Sam hated to say it, but Megan was not the stronger.
She looked down at the body she now possessed and wondered what they could do to fix this mess. Immediately, worry returned. She worried about her husband and her friends, she worried she'd never get out of this body, she worried that Megan wouldn't make it, she worried that even if she did get back into her body, Jack wouldn't love her anymore and most of all... she worried Megan and Ryan wouldn't love her.
Sam looked up at Ryan, Megan's body moving in accord. She stared at the young boy. He had barely spoken to her since that night when she'd finally awoken. The coldness in the way he treated her made Sam feel heartbroken...
A silent tear ran down her cheek and she looked away from her son and at Janet that sat watching her anxiously. Janet raised her eyebrows questioningly.
Sam swiped the salty tear away from her cheek as she murmured in the childlike whisper of Megan O'Neill, "Nothing."
It was then the phone rang. Janet, strategically sat beside it, lifted it from its cradle in a millisecond. Her voice was desperate as she said obviously anxious for the safety of her own husband, "Hello?"
"Doctor."
Janet nodded earnestly, "General, any news?"
"They're all fine, Doctor. We were just contacted by Teal'c. They've got Sam's body. You're all needed at the base. ASAP."
Janet nodded and put down the phone before hurriedly getting them ready. Sam quickly pulled on the small pair of pink sneakers she'd discovered under the stairs as Cassie grabbed a coat from a peg and went to help put it on her when she dropped it, obviously realising what she was doing. Sam nodded slightly and gave a small smile of thanks as she pulled her arms through the child's black coat.
~~~Å~~~
"Jack, can we slow down?"
He turned to face his companion. The archaeologist's face was glistening with sweat and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of this planet. Jack sighed slightly, "Sorry."
Daniel caught up with him. He was slightly out of breath from the heat and the fast pace Jack had set. He wiped his eyes, obviously finding it difficult to see without his glasses and then smiled, "I'd be the same if it was Janet and Jonathon. You have nothing to apologise for. If it wasn't so hot I'd be trying to go twice your speed…" Daniel let out a whoosh of air from his mouth as he ruffled a hand through his hair, trying to stop it from being plastered to his forehead.
Jack nodded and pulled a hand over his brow, also wet with sweat. He sighed and then nodded to the trees nearby, "Let's sit in the shade for a minute or two."
They wandered over to the shade and collapsed against the tree trunks as Jack chuckled, "Should've asked Apophis for a few flasks of water before we left."
Daniel smiled widely, "Apophis! Hi there. Look we're just going to escape from your fortress with your Queen, shoot down half your guards and steal one of your ships and we were wondering if you could give us some water and food for the journey. You know… if it's not too much trouble!"
Jack snorted and then they rested in silence for a while. Daniel observed his friend, the older man unable to stop fidgeting. After a few minutes, Daniel murmured, "Come on. Let's get going again."
Jack's dark eyes rose to him in surprise as he murmured, "It's midday, Daniel. You're tired. We should rest a bit longer, at least till the sun starts to go down."
Daniel shook his head persistently, "I might be slightly uncomfortable walking to that Gate, but waiting here is killing you…" Jack's eyes lowered again as Daniel spoke gently as he held out his hand for his friend to take, "Come on, Jack."
Jack looked at the man's hand, sweaty and dirty and a small smile curved his lips as he took it and was helped to stand. He gritted his teeth in determination as he whispered, "Let's move out."
Daniel smiled, Jack seeing age in the man's features, "Just like old times." He slapped Jack on the shoulder as they began walking, "Just like old times."
~~~Å~~~
Her eyes fell on the man stood before her and suddenly she felt tears in her eyes, "Dad?"
He turned and when he saw her froze. He stared down at her and she saw his shoulders begin to tremble. His knees gave way and he fell to a kneeling position on the floor as the small child ran into his outstretched arms.
Jacob buried his face in her shoulder as he sobbed, "My little girl. My little girl."
The Tok'ra watched in silence as Janet's voice, husky with emotion, spoke quietly, "Sam?"
Jacob released her from his embrace as Sam looked up at her old friend, a woman who she usually was taller than. Janet sniffed slightly as she murmured, "There might not be much time."
It was then Sam began to recognise the other Tok'ra in the room. Aldwin, Per'seus and… Anise? Sam couldn't believe how much she had changed…
"Yes, Samantha. The later we wait the less likely the procedure will be a success."
Sam nodded still staring at the Tok'ra woman in surprise, "I understand, Anise."
The Tok'ra woman led them through the crystalline corridors of the Tok'ra Base before they entered a room. Two beds and some devices were set up in the room. Sam gulped slightly as her eyes fell on the figure lying in a bed already hooked up to the wires and breathing tube Janet had obviously provided before.
It was her body. Sam looked at Janet and then back at the almost corpse-like body, "Janet?"
Anise spoke up, "We have just removed the Goa'uld from her. She almost didn't make it." Anise then stepped closer to her, "We have no idea if this transfer will be successful. The technology is that of the Ancients and we have been studying it for some time. This will be the first time we have tried to put it into practice."
Janet spoke quietly, "It's your choice, Sam?"
Sam thought for a moment, suddenly becoming strangely aware of her daughter's presence within her. She stared at her body, lying before her and found the entire situation bizarre. It was a no win situation. If she stayed in this body, her daughter's consciousness would cease to exist and her husband and son would distance themselves from her. However, if she went through the procedure, Megan or herself or both of them could die and Jack and Ryan would have lost her and Megan all over again.
She sighed. It was worth the chance that her daughter could live, even if she could not…
"Let's get it over and done with," she said, speaking through her daughter's lips.
Janet nodded and helped her up onto a gurney. She linked her up to a heart rate monitor and other equipment as she told Anise to get the machine ready.
Sam's heart was beating furiously in her chest and she was nervous, but she sat their patiently and as calmly as possible as Janet put a drip into her arm. The small doctor then turned to the box beside her and pulled out a syringe and a bottle.
"Sam?"
She looked up at her Dad as Janet sucked up sedative and squirted a small amount out of the needle. He looked like he wanted to say something. He moved his jaw wordlessly for a moment before he whispered, "I love you, Sweetheart."
Sam nodded and then murmured, "Love you too, Dad."
Janet spoke sadly, holding the needle near the tube leading into her arm, "Are you ready Sam?"
She gritted her jaw as she whispered, "Yep."
Janet pierced the tube with the needle as she pushed the plunger of the syringe. The clear colourless liquid intermingle with the equally clear and colourless fluid in the drip. Janet released a long sigh, "Now we just have to wait."
They sat in silence for about 3 minutes until Sam felt her eyes beginning to close as a sudden terror filled her. She didn't want to close her eyes. She'd been forced into hibernation for 6 years and now she would be sleeping again, not knowing if she would ever wake up.
She looked over at Teal'c and Janet stood in the corner watching. Janet looked upset and Teal'c's arm circled the small doctor's shoulders. Sam wanted to speak out, make them stop this. She didn't want to sleep again. Not without seeing the people she cared about one last time.
She glanced at her father stood by the side of the bed as he turned to her. He started speaking, but all she could hear was a muffled sound. Sam stared at him, tried to grab his hand, but couldn't move. Her heart rate was slowing and her eyelids dropping as she fought to stay awake.
Suddenly, a Tok'ra ran to the doorway and spoke hurriedly to her father. He ran out of the door and Sam felt like crying. She began to panic, feeling claustrophobic, trapped in a body that was not her own. A body that was slowly shutting down into a coma-like sleep which she couldn't fight and there was no one to help her.
She stared at the doorway as sleep finally began to drag her into its darkened depths. Through her eyelashes, she watched the doorway as a shadowy figure appeared in the light. His chest and back were heaving as he'd obviously been running and he ran into the room throwing himself by her bedside. Her eyes focussed on his face for a split second, the rest of her vision a dim blur. He began speaking to her hurriedly although she couldn't hear a word.
His dark eyes told her everything she needed to know.
Her mind calmed and she realised why she'd been so terrified of sleeping. She didn't want to 'die' again without seeing his face before she did. Without him being by her side…
Jack's palm came into contact with her small cheek as her eyes closed and all feelings evaporated, the last thing in her consciousness being him... And that was all that mattered.
~~~Å~~~
1 month later…
Daniel sat half dozing on a chair in the cool crystal corridors of the Tok'ra base. He shifted to one side in his sleep and wrapped his arms tighter around himself. The man slowly sat next to him, letting the man rest for a few seconds. He let out a sigh and gently shook the sleeping man's shoulder, murmuring, "Daniel...?"
The archaeologist's head jolted up as his eyes tried to focus on the man as he fished his glasses from his pocket, "Hey Jacob."
Jacob gave a small sigh, "Jack still in there?"
Daniel glanced at his watch and with a sad sigh murmured, "Probably, he hasn't left her bedside for over a week now. I think..." Daniel hesitated, "This is the longest he's been in there without rest, Jake. He's getting more and more worried he may lose her again as every day passes."
Jacob spoke quietly, "That is the most likely explanation." He glanced at the doorway and murmured, "Do you think... I mean, could I go in there?"
Daniel hesitated before he gave a small nod, "He's not in a fragile mood or anything just... a little bewildered by everything. Not to mention, her appearance is slightly worrying..."
Jacob stood up slowly and smiled, "Perhaps you should get some sleep, Daniel. It's been a month and you've had almost as little rest as Jack has. Your wife wouldn't be too happy with you if you came back in the condition you are now!"
Daniel gave a small chuckle and stood with a yawn, "Yeah. You're right. See you in the morning."
"Night," Jacob replied as the younger man stumbled off down the corridor in search of a more comfortable place to catch 40 winks.
Jacob stood watching him retreat for a moment before he turned and slowly moved into the room. The first thing he saw was Jack sat hunched staring at the floor. The second thing he saw was the beautiful golden hair spread out across the white pillow, glinting dully in the ethereal blue light that emanated from the walls...
"Jacob?"
Jacob's eyes left the sickly figure lying beneath the blankets as they met Jack's gaze. The man dropped his gaze and glanced over at the bed, his eyes falling on the pale face and a look of shock and dread in his eyes, "No change."
Jacob moved over to his son-in-law and placed a hand on his shoulder, staring down at his granddaughter, "She'll pull through. She's a strong kid..."
Jack's eyes never left Megan's face and slowly he reached out a hand to tenderly pull a lock of her golden hair from her eyes as he whispered, "I hope so, Jake."
Jacob squeezed the man's shoulder comfortingly before sitting himself next to him and deciding to tell him why he was really here, "Have you been to see Sam yet?"
Jack didn't look up from the sickly child as he mumbled, "No..."
Jacob sighed, Selmac's voice trying to dictate how to talk, although Jacob was not going to allow any interfering on her part. This was a human problem and Jacob was going to try and fix it with all the human he had in him.
"Jack, I know this is hard for me... God only knows how hard it is for you! But Sam needs you. When she wakes up she's going to be confused and... and she'll want to know why you're not there when she wakes up. I know you are worried about Megan; I am too, but... Megan's already woken up, however briefly. She already knows you are here for her..."
Jack sighed and then looked up with tears visible in his dark eyes, "She's dead. She's dead and yet she's now pregnant with my child." He let out a small laugh, "God, my life would make one hell of a soap opera!"
Jacob was about to speak when a soft voice came from the 5 year old child, whose baby blue eyes were now open and blinking slowly, "Daddy?"
Jack turned to his daughter and wiped away his tears as he smiled a true happy smile, "Hey Kiddo. How ya feeling?"
"Tired," the girl said hoarsely, her eyes looking around drowsily as she tried to blink back sleep, "Where's Mommy?"
Jack made a strangled choking noise at the girl's question. The two men stood in a completely flabbergasted silence as Megan repeated the question, "Where's Mommy?" She looked between them confused by their silence, "Daddy? Grandpa?"
Jacob answered quietly, "She's still sleeping, Sweetie. How do you know...?"
"The last thing I remember was her telling me not to be afraid and just try really hard to open my eyes," the little girl whispered to her grandfather before she murmured, "Is she sick?"
Jacob looked at the expression of horror on Jack's face, obviously disgusted that the small child had been aware of what was going on when her mother had taken over her body. If Jacob wasn't a Tok'ra and saw the idea as perfectly normal, he probably would've had the same reaction.
He cleared his voice and spoke softly, "She is still unwell, but Aunty Janet is doing everything she can to make her better again."
Megan yawned and looked at her father through hooded eyelids, "Daddy, tell me about Mommy. What's her name? Is she pretty?"
Jack sat there trembling slightly before he took in a small breath and whispered with a sad smile, "Oh, she's very pretty. She... She's a lot like you."
The little girl's sapphire eyes lit up even through her tired features in a very Sam-like expression of happiness. A sleepy smile came to her face, "Like me?"
Jack gave a soft chuckle and messed up her straggled golden hair with his fingers affectionately, "Yeah. Same eyes, same hair, same little smile..."
The girl giggled softly, still obviously nowhere near full health, "Is Ryan here?"
Jacob spoke, "He's staying with Aunty Janet, Cassie and Jonathon at the moment. In the morning, Aunty Janet will visit to check up on you."
Megan nodded and yawned, her eyelids drooping as she obviously began to drift off again.
Jack smiled gently, "Go back to sleep, Sweetie. Me and Grandpa are right here."
Megan smiled slightly before she whispered faintly, "Mommy said that she's sorry and that she doesn't know if she's going to be OK."
Jack looked at his daughter shaken as her eyes slid shut and she dozed back off into sleep, her ordeal still leaving her weakened and drained.
"Jack?"
He glanced up at his father-in-law, the man returning his look with anxiety. His head dipped and he began to speak as Selmac, "I have always believed you were the most resilient of Tau'ri. SG-1 were the elite and as I am Tok'ra you probably do not trust by beliefs, but these you may agree with. I decided that SG-1 were afraid of nothing, but it seems I was wrong. Jacob and I both understand how you feel, but why are you afraid of your wife?"
Jack stared at Jacob as the question entered Jack's head. He couldn't think of an answer. All he could see was a teenage Samantha Carter running with all the strength left in her tortured body and diving between him and that ribbon device...
"Jack?"
Jacob was staring at him worried. Jack just cleared his throat softly, "I'm not afraid of her, Jake. I... I love her like... like... I can't even describe it... It's like waking up for the first time in your life. Like... you've been trapped in a cage and suddenly the bars just melt away... and you're finally free..."
"Then why won't you go see her? Why won't you sit by her bedside and wait for her to wake up? Your daughter will be fine, despite her weak appearance. Your wife however is the one who is in the most danger."
Jack's voice rose, and if Megan had not been lying there, Jacob was sure the man would've been yelling, "Because I don't want to have to sit there for the rest of my life! I don't want to wait and wait with my hopes up and discover that, for the third time so far since I realised I was in love with Sam, she is never going to wake up!"
Jacob saw the pain in Jack's face and the absolute confusion and vulnerability in his eyes. He had no idea what it must be like for Jack at this moment. Jack was right though. First, she'd been in that coma after sacrificing herself to save him. Then, she'd died in that hospital leaving him a widower and father to a toddler and a newly born baby. Now... Now she was lying in a bed on an alien planet essentially sleeping. She wasn't in a coma, she wasn't dead... She was just asleep. But no one knew if she would wake up. There was no way of knowing.
Jack swiped another tear from his exhausted eyes as he mumbled, "I don't want to be sat in the Infirmary looking at the woman I'd die for covered in wires and tubes. I don't want to be numbly walking down a hospital corridor after losing the mother of my kids. I don't want to be sat in that cold room watching my wife sleeping, pregnant with my child and hear that she will never open her eyes again."
"Jack, I know how much you've been through because I've been through it too," Jacob whispered, "But whether you like it or not, Sam is your wife. She'll wake up confused, disorientated and probably without any idea why she's pregnant! She has a daughter she has never really met and who doesn't know her, having spent the five years of her life motherless. She has a son who is equally ignorant about his mom, but who has wished for her to be alive again so many times that now she is he's bewildered and upset. Neither of you can deal with this alone. Sam needs you. And even though you don't want to hear it, you need her more than you need to shut her out!"
Jack nodded mutely and the two men sat in silence, watching the weak little girl sleep peacefully. Without a word, Jack slowly rose. He placed a soft kiss on his daughter's forehead and stared at her for a second. He tucked the covers over her small shoulders and then step by step headed for the door. He hesitated and turned back to Jacob Carter, dressed in Tok'ra uniform and sat in the Tok'ra chair watching him supportively.
"Watch over my baby. Call me if there's any change."
Jacob smiled slightly, "Nothing and nobody will ever hurt my granddaughter while I'm here, Jack. You can count on that!"
Jack gave a weak imitation of a smile, although it was poor. He turned back to the door and paused for a moment before he stepped out into the blue crystal corridor and began to slowly make his way to Sam's room.
~~~Å~~~
"Of all the unpleasant surprises!"
The Tok'ra woman turned to him, her eyebrow raised slightly, "Colonel, I am the only one who can work this technology..."
Jack just shrugged and walked into the room, his eyes finally falling on Sam. Horrifying memories surfaced of her lying dead in the hospital bed on that April morning six years ago... Sam looked so... cold. Her skin was almost translucent it was so white. Her hair was plastered flat with sweat from her face and was combed back. She looked so lifeless; he couldn't believe the sound of her heartbeat on the monitor Janet had set up. It was steady, slightly sluggish, but otherwise sounded normal.
Slowly, Jack made his way to the chair beside his wife and lowered himself into it, his knee aching dully. Couldn't the Tok'ra invest in central heating?? It wasn't freezing, but it was pretty chilly down here...
Anise spoke again, avoiding his eyes as she began tinkering with a palm held device, "I am sorry for your wife's condition. I also apologise for not attending her funeral ceremony... I was on a mission... I hope Jacob Carter conveyed my condolences?"
Jack looked at the woman, dressed in grey, her clothing a lot more humble than the last time he'd seen her. Anise was... well, had been, a bit of a slut really. Now she was dressed in a grey dress, a lot less flattering, the skirt coming past her knees, the sleeves coming all the way down to her wrists and the neck line encircling her throat. Her blonde hair was slightly longer, just brushing her shoulder and was cut in a straight bob. She looked tired for a Tok'ra.
Jack suddenly felt a strange sense of guilt for being so horrid to her in the past. Alright, so she'd made a pass at him, not to mention had almost killed him on two separate occasions, but... Maybe it was the fact that his father-in-law was a Tok'ra that made Jack see them all in a much different light. Anise wasn't really that bad... she seemed so much different.
She looked up at him, waiting for a reply. He nodded, shaking away his pondering, his eyes sliding back to Sam, "Yeah... Uh... Thanks..."
Anise's voice changed to Freya's human tone, "You are uncomfortable with my voice?"
Jack looked back up at the woman in surprise, "No. Of course not."
Freya narrowed her eyes slightly as she looked at him before she smiled slightly, a small meek smile that Jack couldn't believe was coming from the same woman he'd known all those years ago. She gave an uncharacteristic chuckle as she said, "You have changed, Colonel."
"You're one to talk. And I'm not a Colonel anymore. Just call me Jack." he replied confused as to why he was having a friendly conversation with Anise/Freya! What the hell had happened? They were talking like old friends...
She sighed softly and continued to work. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Jack stared at his wife. His heart was aching for the woman, loving her so much. That night at Apophis's fortress, he'd tried to tell her how much he loved her, but he'd chickened out. He hadn't wanted her to have been slightly frightened away... He didn't really know why he'd been scared to say it; perhaps he'd been worried he'd lose her again or something... Maybe he thought not saying he loved Sam made it less true, which was a complete lie.
"You really care for her, don't you?"
Freya's voice was gentle and wistful and Jack glanced up at her again, slightly confused. She was staring down at Sam. She glanced at him then looked away, blushing slightly. She cleared her throat and her expression changed to a more stable one, less emotion visible.
Anise spoke again, "You have a very beautiful daughter. And also a son I believe?"
Jack, still slightly taken aback by the Tok'ra woman, nodded slowly, "Yes. Ryan."
"How old are your children? Jacob Carter has told me previously, but I do not remember."
Jack could see the conversation had become strained and awkward, but tried to ease the tension, "Well Ryan is 8 years old and Megan is 5."
Her head nodded and Freya began to speak again, obviously recovered from her past show of emotion, "I remember when I was growing up on Lhatiia. I was the oldest. I had 12 brothers and sisters." She smiled slightly, "My youngest sister was your daughter's age when I left to become a host..."
This conversation was so strange to Jack. He spoke quietly, "How old were you?"
She moved over to Sam, adjusting one of the Tok'ra devices as she spoke, "I was about 19 years of age." Jack realised how little she'd aged since he'd last seen her, well physically anyway. But in her mind and the way she acted she was so much more mature and mellow. It was a strange transformation and Jack looked back on the day he'd been glad to see her leave through the Gate with a strange sense of wonder.
She rubbed one hand over her eyes as she took the other chair beside Sam, finally stopping her tinkering. He glanced at her weary appearance, "Go get some sleep. If something happens, I'll give you a call..."
She nodded, her bluey-green eyes watching him in obvious confusion as she rose slowly. She inclined her head, "Good Night, Colone... Jack."
He smiled tiredly himself, "You too."
She left the room, her leather shoes making a soft almost inaudible tread as she left the room made of blue crystal.
Jack's hand found Sam's warm fingers. He gently squeezed her hand as he sighed softly, his other hand reaching to her face and moving a wisp of her unruly hair from her eyes, the strand conforming back into the brushed back style of her hair. He smiled softly to himself, when he felt slight pressure on his own hand, before it relaxed. Whether it was a reflex reaction or whether it had been Sam, Jack had no idea, but that small movement gave Jack hope. A grin burst across his face and he slumped back in the chair, his hand still holding hers gently as he sighed, his eyes fixed on the woman he loved...
~~~Å~~~
"Selmac, may I enter?"
Jacob turned to see Anise stood in the doorway. He smiled slightly and spoke in a hushed tone, "Of course. She's sleeping."
Anise returned the small smile as she walked over to the Tok'ra equipment, "I wish to check on the child before I go to get some rest."
Jacob winced slightly, "I only just remembered. I'm sorry about Jack. He's a bit grumpy at the moment. Hasn't slept in a while..."
"Oh no, Jacob," it was Freya that spoke this time, "He was... fine."
Jacob watched the woman, trying to place all her concentration on the devices although Jacob knew it was just her way of avoiding speaking. Jacob was slightly confused. Neither Jack nor Anise had seen or spoken to each other since the Zaytarc incident and Jacob was pretty sure Jack O'Neill still held a grudge against the woman for what had happened.
"He was... fine? Are we talking about the same man?"
Freya gave a soft laugh, "It appears so. At first, he still seemed to hate me, but he does no longer, I believe. We even had a conversation of good length considering..."
"Freya..." Jacob said as it dawned on him. The woman looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly as they stared at each other levelly.
She dropped his gaze and after a moment Anise spoke in a hurried voice, "I must get some rest."
"You're still in love with hi...?"
Anise interrupted abruptly, in a quiet but almost angry tone, "I do not wish to talk about this..."
She strode out of the room as Jacob followed her, "But I do. Do you think anyone can accept how much you've changed as just down to you?"
She didn't reply and continued to walk down the corridor and into her quarters. Jacob stopped in the middle of the corridor, deciding not to follow her. She needed time to think. He trudged back into his granddaughter's room, retaking the chair beside her.
"Selmac, the Tau'ri are here. They have just gated to the surface."
Jacob had been a bare millimetre from sitting down when he stood up again and turned to Aldwin. Selmac spoke, "Teal'c?"
The young Tok'ra nodded, "Yes and Dr. Jackson's wife. I shall go meet them. Do you wish to accompany me?"
Jacob glanced at the tiny girl beneath the covers, sleeping peacefully, "I'll meet them, but Aldwin I want you to stay here with my granddaughter."
Aldwin did not argue, although his eyebrow rose slightly. Without a word he seated himself beside Megan and Jacob left the room. He strode down the corridor towards the rings, a thousand things running through his head, the main one being the hope that Janet could bring Sam back. He stepped into them and pressed the button on the wrist device.
The rings whooshed up around him and in a flash of light he was on the planet surface. It was just before dawn on the planet, pale light coming from the horizon although the hot sun was yet to rise on the desert world.
The Gate was still illuminated; closing off the second he stepped towards Teal'c and Janet. Janet's son, Jonathon, was sat on the Jaffa's shoulders, the tall man seeming rather amused by the small child. Cassie was with them, holding Ryan's hand, the boy looking scared and unsure before he saw his grandfather. The eight-year-old ran and hugged him as Janet spoke anxiously, "How are they?"
"They're fine. Megan's been awake more than once, but Sam's still in the same condition. I sent Daniel off to get some sleep an hour or two ago, so I wouldn't disturb him for the moment."
"And what of O'Neill?" Teal'c gently lowered himself so the small doctor could retrieve her son from his shoulders.
Jacob sighed, "Well, I finally managed to convince him to check on Sam. Anise was in there..."
Janet looked at him shocked, "Oh no. What happened?"
They began to walk towards the ring platform, hidden beneath the sand, Teal'c now carrying Janet's medical equipment. Jacob continued with a confused shrug, "Apparently nothing."
"But Jack hates her… doesn't he?" Cassie said quietly to her mother who was just as confused as she was.
The rings surrounded them, Ryan gasping in horror as Jonathon just giggled slightly. They appeared in the Tok'ra tunnels as Janet spoke to Cassie, "Cassie, take Jonathon and Ryan to whatever room Jacob finds you and try and get them to get some sleep…"
"I want to see Megs."
Jacob turned to his grandson, "Alright, but just for a little while."
Ryan nodded earnestly before he opened his mouth to speak again. He closed it and then licked his lips before he whispered, "And Mom? Can I see her too?"
Jacob glanced at Janet and sighed softly, "Maybe tomorrow."
Ryan nodded showing he understood as Teal'c placed a hand on the boy's shoulder comfortingly, leading him and the doctor towards the rooms where Megan and Sam were staying.
Jacob sighed again and then turned to Cassie and smiled at the woman, her little brother in her arms. He motioned for them to move down a different corridor as Cassie murmured, "You think she'll make it?"
Jacob didn't look at her for a few seconds before he replied softly, "I have no idea. We adapted technology so it may work for her, but we have no idea if it was effective. All we know is that it successfully removed Sam from Megan's mind and that Megan's consciousness is still intact…"
"But you don't know if Sam's back in her body," Cassie finished off his statement sadly.
Jacob put a hand between her shoulder blades propelling her into the Guest quarters. He had tried to make this room more similar to the ones on Earth, knowing that the Tau'ri would find it difficult to sleep in there, especially the children.
"JACOB! JACOB! SHE'S WAKING UP! JACOB!"
Janet came skidding down the corridor, the small woman moving with surprising speed as she began to gabble, "I can't believe it, but her pulse is quickening slightly and… She's waking up!"
Jacob almost immediately left Cassie and her small brother in the corridor as he followed the doctor, the two of them almost sprinting down the corridors to Sam's room.
The first person Jacob noticed was Jack O'Neill knelt beside her bed staring at her face, whispering under his breath. Anise stood slightly away from the bed watching the scene almost sadly. As they entered both of them glanced up at them.
"Jake, she's waking up. I know she is."
Jacob nodded and stepped towards his son in law, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jack was shivering slightly, Jacob noticed pitifully. He knew exactly what it felt like to lose a wife so young, but he couldn't begin to understand how it would feel to see her come to life again before his eyes.
They stayed in the same position for nearly an hour, Sam's vital signs becoming stronger and stronger and Jack's shivering becoming more and more noticeable.
Her eyelids were flickering as if she were in an R.E.M. sleep. Slowly, flashes of blue were visible in between the miniscule gap provided by her eyelashes as her eyelids opened slightly. Jack was now shaking quite violently and Jacob felt his knees trembling, his legs feeling as though they would give way beneath him.
Everyone was transfixed by Sam as her eyes opened sluggishly. She stared up blinking a few times, a small frown on her forehead as she tried to focus her eyes. Her eyes fell on Jack's face as he watched her, thrilled yet terrified.
After a second, he whispered, "Sam?"
She opened her mouth and a raspy sighing noise came as she tried to speak, "Yeah..." She coughed slightly as her vocal chords began to get used to working again. After a second or two she spoke, her voice still hoarse from where the Tok'ra had removed the Goa'uld, "Did it work?"
Jack was smiling with unbelievable happiness, his eyes glistening as he said, "Yeah. It worked."
"And Megan?"
Jack took her hand in his, smoothing his fingertips over her wrist and fingertips as he nodded with a small choked laugh of relief, "She's fine. Well on the way to recovery."
Sam smiled weakly before she whispered, "I can't wait to meet my daughter."
Janet spoke up, "You will, but she's still not well enough to visit you and you are nowhere near. Give it a day maybe two."
Sam nodded and then croaked, "Thank you…"
Jack spoke, "No offence to the Doc, but Anise is the one you should be thanking."
Janet smiled at her Tok'ra counterpart, "Yes, it was Anise that's been here with you constantly."
Sam moved her head ever-so-slightly so she looked at Anise. The Tok'ra woman was stood there watching her with a meek smile, so un-Anise-like it surprised Sam.
She cleared her throat then breathed, "Thanks…"
"You're Welcome."
Janet spoke gently after a second, signalling for Jacob and Anise to leave with her, "We'll leave you two alone. Get some sleep, Sam. We'll come see you in the morning."
"Night Guys," Jack said gratefully as he watched them all retreat out into the passage.
He turned back to Sam, looking at her small smile and breathtaking eyes. She looked tired and pale, but there was now a strange sense of life about her again and Jack felt himself falling in love again almost immediately.
He cleared his throat after a second, "I…" He began to delve into to his jacket pocket and after a second pulled out his hand his fist clenched. Sam watched his hand in fascination as after a second his fingers uncurled and displayed two rings that Sam recognised so well.
"I… I…" Jack's voice was shaking slightly and Sam felt pity for him. The thought of living 6 years of her life thinking he was dead and raising their children alone was enough to make her want to cry. He cleared his throat again, obviously finding hard to say the right thing.
He didn't need to.
Sam squeezed his hand slightly and his dark eyes rose to her face. She tried to show him her answer in her expression, her voice painful too use. She wished that she wasn't so weak, just so she could grin or hold him or kiss him. She was reminded so vividly of when she'd been so weakened by the Fountain of Youth fiasco. She remembered feeling she was so useless that Jack would never love her… And then they'd got married and had kids. They'd been through so much and she loved him more than she could ever express. She just hoped her feeble smile was enough for now.
A grin lit up Jack's face and as if answering her hope he slipped the two rings onto her finger with so much care that Sam knew he was terrified of hurting her.
This moment reminded her so much of when she and Jack had first gotten together, after the Fountain of Youth incident. Jack had been so scared of damaging her further, already blaming her injury on himself. It had only been when Sam had yelled at him telling him to 'Just snog me already!' that how silly he was being.
Jack smiled and stood up slightly; kissing her gently on the cheek as he whispered into her ear, "Get some sleep. I'm right here."
She nodded, realising for the first time how heavy her eyelids had become, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep in a matter of seconds.
Jack sat by her bedside all night, watching her sleep. He sighed softly as he watched her. It had been so long since they'd first met and so much had happened to the both of them. Who would've thought they'd get here with so much stood in their way, so many obstacles? And yet…
Jack smiled as he murmured to the silent room, "And yet here we are…"
~~~Å~~~
Sam lay in the azure calm of her room, thinking about everything. Her hand moved to her stomach, her palm lying against her abdomen where her child would be growing. The thought was strange. She could not remember anything that had happened to her in Apophis's palace, except for residual flashes of memory in her head. The clearest, and only one Sam could really decipher, was the image of Jack stood before her in her room as suddenly she remembered him.
It had been a few days since she'd woken up in the correct body and been informed of her pregnancy and the fact she'd be here with the Tok'ra for quite a while. Janet was not going to let her back to Earth until she was satisfied Sam was well enough to go through and knowing Sam's past medical history, the worst of which spanning over the past decade or so, Sam knew Janet would not be letting her go home for at least 2 months. Janet was scared of her dying suddenly again, just like everyone else.
She sighed softly and looked up with surprise at the woman who'd just entered.
"Sorry if I startled you."
Sam smiled slightly at the Tok'ra who'd cared for her so well since she'd woken, "Oh no. I'm fine, Anise." She chuckled slightly, "I finally managed to get everyone to give me some peace and quiet."
Anise nodded slightly, moving over to the gadgets and taking reading like she did everyday. After a while, she murmured in her human voice, "You are a very lucky woman, Samantha."
Her eyes rose to Freya, catching a glimpse of a tear fall from the Tok'ra's eyes before Anise took control of the body, hiding all signs of unhappiness. Sam had noticed the change in Anise, as had everyone. She was so completely different to when they'd first met.
Sam spoke quietly, "I know I'm lucky. Luck is the only explanation for some of the things that have happened in my life."
Anise nodded, Freya coming back to the surface. She began to leave before she turned to face Sam again. Her voice was soft and painful, "He loves you, you know. He loves you a lot."
Something finally clicked into place in Sam's head as she stared at the Tok'ra woman. Jack had told her about Freya during the Zaytarc incident, but she'd never realised...
Freya continued, her eyes staring off into space, "I knew from the moment he said 'no' to me that he was in love with you..." She sighed gently, "I was not surprised when you got married. Jacob was always so happy leading up to your wedding, telling us how you were pregnant with his grandchild..."
Sam spoke, feeling sympathy for the Tok'ra woman, "You love him, don't you?"
Freya looked up in shock before she nodded slightly and then continued, "Out of every man I could have fallen for, I fell for him..."
"How could you have looked after me and Megan?" Sam said shocked at the woman's bravery, "How could you have cared for us...? It must have been killing you..."
Freya shook her head, a small smile curving her lips, "He needs you, Samantha. If he'd lost you and your daughter, I would've never forgiven myself..." She stared at her for a second, "I will not say I am not jealous of you because I am, but he loves you and he loves your children. I know he will never love me, but I have finally accepted it. It took me all these years since I heard you were to be married, but I will finally..." She stopped mid-sentence and smiled slightly, "I do not really know what I will do. I like how I have become. The only part I miss is I used to smile and laugh more, but I will fix that."
Sam felt a strange urge to cry at the woman's loneliness, but instead she smiled tiredly, "You deserve to be happy and who knows... there are still many fish in the sea..."
Freya frowned, "I do not understand..."
Sam chuckled, "It means there are a lot more guys out there who will love you and you will love in return," Sam grinned, "You never know. That guy might be just round that next corner or the next or the next."
Freya nodded and smiled brightly, "I am sure he is! Goodnight Samantha and get some rest."
Freya stepped out into the corridor walking straight into Sgt. Davis. The technician's glasses fell to the floor as Freya apologised, "Forgive me. I was not looking where I was going..."
"Oh no, Ma'am," Walter replied, "I was on my way to visit Major Cart... Mrs. O'Neill and I wasn't taking enough care." He found his glasses and put them on staring at Freya in surprise, "Freya and Anise, right?"
Freya smiled, "Yes. And you are one of the Gate technicians?"
He held out his hand obviously in awe of her, "Yes." She took his hand still smiling beautifully, "My name's Walter Davis... Sgt. Walter Davis."
Freya released his hand, "It was a pleasure meeting you, Walter."
They continued to stare at each other before Freya blushed and gently murmured, "Excuse me," pushing past the man and walking down the corridor, the Sergeant's eyes following her, causing Sam to burst into laughter.
Walter stepped into the room grinning at her, "Sam! It's been so long…" He looked at the woman laughing happily to herself, "Sam? What… What's funny?"
Sam just smiled at her dear friend as he stepped closer to her, "Oh no reason. I just think that Anise has caught herself a fish!"
Walter frowned confused as Sam began chuckling again, the Tok'ra halls filling with the beautiful sound of laughter. The sound travelled down the corridors to where Jack sat with his daughter sleeping, snoring softly.
Jack recognised the joyful echo immediately and felt a warm feeling touch his heart. How he'd missed her laughter. He leant back in his chair as a small smile came to his face and closed his eyes, the sound of Sam's delight sending a shiver through him.
Jack sighed gently as he whispered, "I missed you, Baby. I missed you a lot…"
~~~Å~~~
2 Months Later…
As they stepped out of the car Sam stared up at her home nervously. The car journey had been strangely silent. Her children were still slightly unused to the idea of having a mom and though it seemed strange to her, they almost couldn't quite get their heads around the fact.
She sighed slightly. Jack had been quiet too. In fact, he'd seemed rather distant. Sam guessed he was just as uncomfortable and unsure as the children and Sam felt upset that she hadn't been welcomed back with open arms. But what had she really expected? 6 years is a very long time from all their perspectives…
"Come on. You must be tired," Jack said, giving her a tiny smile. She nodded and wandered up to the front door as Jack got Megan out of the car. She was fast asleep. Although completely healthy, Megan would get fatigued much easier these days, Janet said. The sleepiness would just be temporary, but until it wore off letting the 5 year old get as much sleep as possible would be for the best.
Ryan walked behind his father up to the doorstep, keeping his distance from her and that alone broke Sam's heart. Her son didn't know her and from what Jack had told her, only vaguely remembered her. Sam, however, could remember watching Ryan, as if it were yesterday, playing with a ball in the garden, getting filthy and giggling in the way that only 3-year-olds can when they are getting ridiculously grubby.
They stepped inside and Sam yawned. She, like her daughter, was exhausted; having been through the gate for the first time in what felt like forever and coming home with her family had made this day very emotionally draining.
Jack spoke to Ryan softly, "I'm putting Megan to bed. Don't watch TV too loudly, OK?"
Ryan spoke as he walked into the living room, "Ya sure you betcha, Dad."
Sam chuckled softly as she said, "He's so much like you, you know."
"I've noticed," he replied as they climbed the flight of stairs. Sam stood on the landing as Jack put Megan to bed, slightly unsure what to do with herself.
After a few minutes he came back out, gently closing the kids' bedroom door slightly. He stepped closer to her, rubbing the back of his neck as he did when he felt slightly awkward, "You'll… uh… You'll have to stay in the spare room for the moment…" Jack stared at his feet and then up at her as he mumbled, "I got rid of the double bed when you…"
His voice trailed away and Sam took her queue to save him from anymore awkwardness, "That's OK. It would be… weird anyway."
"Yeah," he said quickly before looking up at her. He gave her a small smile and then tentatively he stepped forward and kissed her gently. Sam's hand moved to hold the back of his neck as they kissed softly.
Jack pulled away and cleared his throat before giving her a small smile. He moved past her towards the spare room and opened the door, flicking on the light.
Sam followed him inside and after a few seconds of silence Jack muttered, "Get some sleep."
She nodded and he went to leave. She spoke up hurriedly, "Jack?"
He turned, "Yeah?"
Sam stared at him and suddenly felt like crying. After a pause she murmured, "Nothing. Night."
He looked her up and down for a second before he whispered, "They'll get used to it soon. They're just not used to… used to you."
She nodded as he left closing the door behind him. Sam closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. Her hand moved to her bump as she dropped on the single bed. After she murmured to the empty room, "I hope it's not only them who'll get used to me…" She felt a tear roll down her cheek as she whispered shakily toward her unborn child, "Otherwise, me and you are on our own, Kiddo." She sighed and wiped her fingers over her teary eyes, hugging her pillow close to her and burying her face in it as she cried softly before weariness overcoming her and she fell into a cheerless sleep.
~~~Å~~~
Jack had thought he'd get a proper night's sleep for once, now Sam was alive, healthy and home again, but he'd still awoken at some ungodly hour of the morning. He'd climbed from his single bed, pulled on a pair of old sweats and wandered onto the landing. He'd stared at the door to the spare bedroom which was open ajar and with much debate had finally decided not to check on his wife.
To keep himself busy, he'd silently got Sam's clothes down from the attic. Every box was full of clothes, many of which people would not be caught dead in 6 years after Sam had last worn them, but until he could take her shopping and buy her some other things they'd do.
He'd spent the rest of the morning, ironing some of her clothes and washing any items which were dirty. When he'd finished this task, he'd set about trying to make the place as akin as he could to how it had last been for her, although he had no idea why.
Now he was in the kitchen, leaning against the worktop and thinking about how his life would become topsy-turvy yet again. He almost jumped when he heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs and stared at the doorway leading to the hallway.
When the woman stepped into the kitchen, Jack felt like rubbing his eyes or pinching himself. Samantha O'Neill stood before him, no longer a ghost in a dream, no longer his terminally ill wife and no longer his unattainable 2IC.
She was dressed in the pyjamas Janet had lent her. Her hair was longer than he remembered and was ruffled from restless sleep. Her eyes were a soulful azure, tears blurring her vision also. One rolled down her pale cheek, a droplet of self-hatred, misery and pain.
His eyes fell on her stomach, a bump already beginning to form causing her plain white t-shirt to stretch ever-so-slightly, revealing barely a centimetre of her skin between the hem of the shirt and the waist band of her pants.
She spoke quietly, "I went to check on the kids. I hope you don't mind?" The slight uncertainty in her voice was emphasised as the sound of his wife's soft voice reverberated off his eardrum, it was harsh and cold. She actually thought she had to ask if it was ok to see her children and the thought made Jack hate himself for treating her as he had.
When she got no immediate reply, she pushed past him, causing him to shiver imperceptibly. She moved around the kitchen automatically, as if she'd never been dead… gone for 6 years. He found his voice and managed to murmur, "No. Of course not."
She glanced at him for a split second before turning away again. She spoke, trying to sound annoyed, but the soft sound of her suppressing tears was enough to convince him it was just a façade, "There are no pictures… There is nothing to suggest I was your wife, let alone a living, breathing woman! How long did it take you to forget me? A year, a month, a week?"
It was Jack's turn to hide behind a mask of anger, "I NEVER forgot you! I could never forget you! I spent every fucking second of every day for the past 6 years thinking about you! I've not stopped since our first day at the SGC! I don't think I could ever stop thinking about you because I can never stop loving you! I can NEVER stop loving you! I've had to raise two children alone in a world where they spend every day in hiding under aliases so the media can't get to them and ruin their lives like they ruined mine! Like they ruined your memory with cheesy monuments and stuff all over the shot! All the time it drove a stake in my heart because you were dead and I couldn't even live without you!"
She flinched with everything he said, but he had to let it out. All the pent up emotions that had been draining his life for so long, "Christ Sam, what the hell do you think I've done for the past 6 years? Just slept with every whore I could find? Cashing in on your death by sanctioning action figures and movies and TV series? I've been fighting this all along! The day before you showed up in Megan's body, I was in court with Janet, fighting against some movie they were going to make about me and you!"
He deflated slightly, his voice becoming a broken whisper, "How could I forget you when I'd see you in my head, a teenage girl, with a purpling bruise across the side of your face as you lie in a coma covered in wires and tubes? Every time I fell asleep I'd see you walking down the aisle towards me, your legs in braces beneath your dress, but the beautiful smile on your face telling me you loved me! Every minute of my life for the past 6 years I've remembered the day you first walked again, without crutches, without leg braces, holding Ryan in your arms as you came to greet me! Every second of every day, I relived the moments when I woke to find you were dead, our son in your arms...!"
It was at that point she turned back to the kitchen surface. Her hands were trembling as she set about making herself a piece of toast. He noticed her skin was covered in small Goosebumps and felt himself hating himself yet again. Jack stood in the same position, frozen, just watching her. God, he loved her so much it hurt!
It was only once she dropped the knife 3 times on the surface with a dull, metallic clang that she let out a soft gasp, which led to another and another, until her body was shaking with gasped sobs. Her hands gripped the edge of the kitchen surface as he saw a tear fall to the surface, a bead of water shattering into tiny glittering pieces.
He took a hesitant step towards her, wondering what to do. He didn't know if he should hold her or leave her alone or ask her permission to hug her. He had no idea anymore and it scared him. So he did what he thought was right.
He touched her lightly on the shoulder and murmured, "Sam?"
She turned to face him and he saw the strange confusion and pain in her eyes. He couldn't even begin to realize what this must be like for her. He'd been so caught up in his own pain, his own sense of being lost, that he'd never stopped to realise just how hard this must be on her. Her breathtaking eyes looked away from him, almost as if she couldn't bear to look at him.
That one action made Jack's heart yearn for her even more. He lifted a hand and delicately swiped the tears from her face as she stared at him in shock, more tears falling all the time. Her eyes slid shut in anguish and she turned away from him whispering brokenly, "Please don't."
Jack was stood, his hand not having moved from where her cheek had been. His fingers, still moistened from her tears brushed some of her golden hair. The action caused her to tremble harder and she gasped preventing a sob from escaping her lips.
Jack couldn't bear this anymore. His wife was upset, more than upset, and he was the cause. He sighed angry with himself and took a step closer to her. His arms slid around her stomach and he squeezed slightly pressing his chest up to her back as he whispered, "God I'm so sorry, Sam. I shouldn't have let all my anger out on you. None of this is your fault."
She was still shivering, her arms moving around his own and clasping his wrists from where they were wrapped around her. She leant back slightly in his arms and continued to cry silently as she stared out of the window above the sink.
Slowly, he swivelled her around and stared into her eyes for a second. He gave her a small smile, feeling tears of his own blurring his vision slightly. He sniffed, "You've always been so strong. I've never really told you how proud I've always been of you. I was proud of Samantha Carter for being intelligent, strong and brave amongst many things. I am proud of Samantha O'Neill for her strength and determination. You spent so long fighting against the damage to your nervous system after what happened with Apophis and... I was so proud of you, Baby. Don't give up on us now. Everything is going to be OK, I promise you. Please don't give up on us."
She stared back in his eyes and he knew she didn't think so. She buried her head in his shoulder, her hands moving up his back as she began to sob heartbrokenly. He kissed her hair, holding her, the feeling of her in his arms long missed. He kissed her ear softly as he breathed, "I promise you. We always fight our way through, Sam. Remember..." He pulled back and said seriously, "O'Neills are stubborn son-of-a-bitches!"
She laughed slightly and he saw her smile. The relief her smile gave him was indescribable. He grinned and she laughed again as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. After a few seconds, he said lovingly, "And you are an O'Neill. We are all O'Neills."
She pulled back again, wiping away her tears and sniffling slightly before taking his hand and placing it on her stomach as she whispered with a beautiful smile, "All five of us."
~~~Å~~~
Epilogue
1 year later
"Jack, will you hurry up? We're going to be late!"
Jack passed the stairs and called down, "Ryan can't find his jacket! Where's Jamie's bag?"
"I already put it in the car!" Sam called back to her husband as she glanced at her six year old daughter, looking rather cute as she smiled a slightly gappy smile and then tutted at her father and brother. Sam grinned and muttered to the small girl, "Two seconds, Sweetie."
Sam ran up the stairs, smoothing a crease in her summer dress. She moved into the kid's bedroom, Ryan was searching through his wardrobe hurriedly, "Mom, I can't find it!"
Her eyes rose to the heavens, "That's because it's downstairs on the hanger where I told you it was yesterday."
Ryan turned around his brown eyes scowling at her, "I knew that!"
She laughed brightly and knelt down in amongst the mess on the floor, "Come here."
With a comment of annoyance from her son, she began to adjust his shirt and jeans and when he went to move away she grabbed his shoulders, "Stand still for a second!"
"Aww Mom!"
Sam fought the urge to snigger as she muttered, "Look at your hair! It's as unruly as your father's!"
She grabbed a comb from the side and tried to make the mop of fair hair look neater, although it worked very slightly and refused to be combed into an acceptable position.
She gave up as Ryan muttered, "Finally!" He sped out of the room and downstairs as Sam shook her head and began to pick up toys strewn across the room, throwing them into the box. She felt a hand on her back and stood up straight. She turned to face Jack with a smile, his arms held around her as he smiled back.
He nodded his head to the door that their son had just stormed out of and said with a slightly raised eyebrow, "Have you noticed how Ryan's getting rather..."
Sam chuckled, "Yeah. He must get it from you!"
He kissed her tenderly and whispered in a sarcastic tone, "Of course, Dear."
She laughed as their baby son began to wail in protest at being left in his cot. She spoke as she walked to their room, "Have you got the wedding present?"
"Yeah," he said lifting it off the dresser as Sam moved to the baby's crib.
She looked down at her small son, his face pink and scrunched up where he was crying, "Aww Mommy's little man feeling left out?" She lifted him up gently, holding him to her as she jiggled him in her arms ever so slightly, "Shh shh shh. It's OK, Sweetie. We're going now."
She kissed his head, covered in soft dark hair as she glanced at Jack. He was leant against the door frame, a strange smile on his face, watching her and his baby son lovingly. She grinned and he smiled back, "I'll go put the other two in the car."
She nodded as he left and she looked around the room for something she might have forgotten as her son's cries turned to hiccoughs. She patted his back gently until he let out a tiny burp. She grabbed a hankie and placed it over her shoulder, prepared for the drooling Jamie.
She slowly left the room and moved downstairs, giving the house a once over for anything she may have forgotten. She noticed that for once Jack had done the washing up without her asking him to. She smiled to herself as she moved to the front door where Jack was stood, two denim jackets folded over his arm, his own shades propped on his head and another pair in his hand. She smiled as she put her shades on and Jack grabbed Jamie's cap from the coat rack, shading the baby's face from the sun.
"Sun block?"
"I've already done Megs and Ryan and put it in Jamie's bag," Jack said, "Have you done Jay?"
She nodded and sighed, "You ready?"
He grinned, "As ready as I'll ever be!"
Sam shook her head with a small laugh as they both left the house closing the door behind them.
~~~Å~~~
Jack watched his beautiful wife, stood in the shade of the tree that grew at the end of the Jackson's backyard. The beautiful summer's day would end in an hour or so, but it was still as warm as it had been at midday, Sam having taken their baby son into the refuge from the blazing sun.
Megan and Jonathon were playing a game of tag with a little Jaffa child, Isa'c, the son of Rya'c's best man, Jar'ec. The wedding had been beautiful, Chulak was beautiful in its autumn months and now Rya'c and Cassie had returned from their honeymoon, the proud parents were holding a barbeque here on Earth. Jack had never seen Teal'c smile so much and Janet and Daniel were just the same. Jack would miss them all when Daniel and Janet moved to Chulak as well.
Sam was talking with Bray'tac, both of them laughing. Jamie was fast asleep, his chubby cheek pressed on the handkerchief strategically placed on Sam's shoulder as the baby dribbled. General Hammond was talking with Cassie and Rya'c, the couple hugging each other. Various members of the SGC were talking with various members of the Jaffa resistance. The weather was gorgeous and everything seemed perfect in Jack's world.
Jack began to think about his own children getting married. He'd be ancient by that time! He snorted slightly to himself, thinking about his two sons and his daughter.
He wandered over towards Bray'tac and Sam...
"... I am very happy for you."
Sam glanced at the baby, his podgy fingers gripping loosely to part of the handkerchief, "We're very happy too."
"You deserve it, Samantha. You have been through so much."
She turned to him, smiling her irresistibly beautiful smile, "Thank you, Bray'tac. For everything you did for us."
Bray'tac glanced at Jack as he finally reached them. He smiled and bowed his head to both of them, "It was an honour. Now I must speak to Hammond of Texas. It has been a long time."
Jack winked at Bray'tac as Sam turned. She gave a small jump, "Jack!"
"Still got skills with stealth then!"
She glared, "If I wasn't holding your son, I would hit you!"
Jack and Bray'tac chuckled, the old Jaffa master speaking, "You are feisty like many Jaffa women. O'Neill does not realise what he has let himself in for."
Jack smiled, "Oh I know exactly what I've let myself in for." He pulled a hand around Sam's shoulder as he said to Bray'tac, "Thanks again, Bray'tac."
He just inclined his head and strode away towards the Texan General.
Sam sighed softly turning to him. Jack smiled, closing the space between them, his arms wrapping around her lower back as they both stared at the baby sleeping in Sam's arms.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Sam whispered in a voice of absolute adoration.
Jack hummed, "Uh huh." He sighed himself, content before he let out a quiet chuckle, "He's going to be such a heartbreaker when he grows up!"
Sam let out a laugh of her own, looking up at her husband. She stared into his face, her soft smile and beautiful eyes telling him all he needed to know. After a second, she murmured, "I'm so glad I'm alive," she glanced back down at the baby and then at the children playing on the lawn, "I can't believe that I might have missed this."
Jack nodded, "Me neither."
She smiled again and placed a kiss on his lips softly. She pulled back and took his hand in hers as she moved to the rug in the dappled shade. Jack helped her to lower herself to sit on the picnic mat as he joined her; the both of them watching their children, fingers entwined as the summer's day slowly came to an end.
~~~FINIS~~~
Story Notes: Author's Notes: The sequel has arrived! Oh it took me a while, but its here! I have always loved 'Vulnerability' since I began writing it in Yr7. Now I've finally completed the story and I can rest at night in the knowledge that the story that began in the days of my youth is now ready to be read by you guys!
Dedications: Hannah, I should stop praising you! But I can't! It's physically impossible! You are the greatest girly friend I could have and I will NEVER forget you. Love you, Hon. Also to all my friends and to all of you guys who have read my stuff. I'm glad to hear what you think. Thanks again.
The waiting is over... Finding Strength!
Dedications: Hannah, I should stop praising you! But I can't! It's physically impossible! You are the greatest girly friend I could have and I will NEVER forget you. Love you, Hon. Also to all my friends and to all of you guys who have read my stuff. I'm glad to hear what you think. Thanks again.
The waiting is over... Finding Strength!
End Notes: Yet more Author's notes: It's FINISHED!!! YAY! I know it's been ages and ages since I last posted something, but I'm having trouble at the moment due to school, getting a lead role in my drama group pantomime, my mum just returning from hospital etc etc. Please send me some feedback. Vulnerability and Finding Strength are two of my favourite stories and I'd like to hear what you guys thought of them. Thanks again everyone and I PROMISE I will finish SOMETHING soon! Sam x
Copyright © Sam I Am 2005
Copyright © Sam I Am 2005
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]