Lovers in the long grass
look above them
only they can see
where the clouds are going
only to discover
dust and sunlight
ever make the sky so blue
Afternoon is hazy
river flowing
all around the sounds
moving closer to them
telling them the story
told by flora
dreams they never knew
Silver willows
tears from Peria
those who come
from a far-off island
Winter Chanterelle lies
under cover
Glory-of-the-sun-in-blue
Some they know as passion
some as freedom
some they know as love
and the way it leaves them
Summer snowflake
for a season
when the sky above is blue
when the sky above is blue
Lying in the long grass
close beside her
giving her the name
of the one the moon loves
this will be the day she
will remember
when she knew his heart
was
loving in the long grass
close beside her
whispering of love
and the way it leaves them
lying in the long grass
in the sunlight
they believe it‘s true love
and from all around them
flora‘s secret
telling them of love
and the way it breathes
and
looking up from eyes of
amaranthine
they can see the sky
is blue
knowing that their love
is true
dreams they never knew
and the sky above is blue
(song by Eithne Ní Bhráonain (Enya),
text by Roma Ryan)
Summer was a wonderful season, Sam thought as she looked out the of window of Jack‘s truck. It was a Sunday afternoon and they were driving towards Colorado Springs after a week in Jack‘s cabin. They would be needed at the SGC again the next day although Sam was supposed to finnish work early. When Sam had discovered that she was pregnant, Dr. Fraiser had advised, or rather ordered her to take things easy and only work half-time. It wasn‘t easy for Sam, but she didn‘t want to harm the baby and so she obeyed the doctor’s orders.
Looking at Jack who was whisteling some nameless tune while steering the car along the broad, almost empty road, she remembered their first meeting almost one year ago. She and Major Charles Kawaslky had come to this reality when, in their own reality, the Goa‘uld had invaded their world.
The first weeks in the new reality were very hard for Sam. She had to deal with the loss of her husband, Colonel Jack O‘Neill from her reality, who had been shot in front of her eyes by a Jaffa. The relief when she and Major Kawalsky got the permission to stay in the new reality was only temporary. Soon the cascade tremors started, making Sam fear that she had just left her own reality to die somewhere else.
At that point SG1 and General Hammong consulted the Tok‘ra and soon Major Carter‘s father arrived, along with two other Tok‘ra. They had a chemical which was supposed to suppress the cascade tremors, but adjusting it and finding out what the right dosage was, took several days during which the cascade tremors got worse until Sam was much nearer to death than to life. During that time, and afterwards, she clung to Colonel O‘Neill, finding her only strength and comfort in him.
Eventually she recovered, at least physically. However, she suffered from severe depression and although her life had just been saved, she didn‘t see any reason to live on without her beloved husband, and she actually wished she had just stayed in her own reality where she probably would have been shot by some Jaffa and would have joined her husband.
During this dark time of her life, Jack was there for her. Since she still hadn‘t dared to find herself a flat or a house to live in, she only had her quarters in the SGC and one day Jack invited her to spend some days with him, only intending to get her away from the base. It took just these few days for them to fall in love with each other, and not seeing any reason to wait, one month later they got married.
And now Sam was pregnant with his child. It was still hard to believe. She had gotten a second life and a second chance to make something of it. The depression had begun to fade, and although Sam still had to deal with dark spells that sometimes clouded her world for several days, things did look brighter, seen on the whole.
They were only about 1/2 hour away from Colorado Springs, as Sam estimated, and currently driving through a beautiful landscape. To their left, there were several lines of trees, looking like an arm of the dense forest they had just passed, and behind those lines of trees, Sam could make out a clearing and green grass, waving slightly in the soft summer breeze. Just a few hundred meters ahead of them, a path led away from the road, through the treelines and to the clearing.
"Jack," Sam called, out of a sudden longing, "let‘s stop here!"
"What?" Jack asked, looking at her suspciously.
"Let‘s stop here," Sam repeated, "See those trees over there? And the clearing behind them? Why don‘t we just sit down there for a while? I wouldn‘t mind a break and it looks so beautiful."
Jack raised an eyebrow, uncertain about what to think of her suggestion. During the past five months of pregnancy, she hadn‘t had the usual craving that one expected pregnant women to have. No ice cream with tacos or chocolate cake with cucumbers, just the usual morning sickness that hadn‘t allowed her to have any breakfast during the first months. Maybe her cravings were of a different kind, like stopping 1/2 hour before home just to sit down o a clearing.
"Well... okay." he gave in, "We‘re not in a hurry, so another 20 minutes won‘t hurt."
He pulled into the path that Sam had seen just before and got out in time to walk around the truck and open the door for her, not knowing whether her smile and her quiet "Thank you Jack!" were related to him having opened the door for her or to him agreeing to stop for a while. Maybe she meant both.
They locked the car and walked slowly towards the treelines, Jack laying his arm around Sam‘s shoulders and pulling her close. She placed her arm around his back, feeling the movement in his muscles as he walked, the warmth of the sun on her skin and the soft breeze that played with her long hair.
They reached the treelines and there the path was joined by a little river, or rather a broad creek that emerged from the dense part of the wood and disappeared into the wood again at the other end of the clearing. It was clear and one could see the stones on the ground, the water sparkling, reflecting the sunlight as thousands of little stars that danced along with the water. Sam knelt down next to the creek, holding on to Jack’s hand so she wouldn’t slip down the steep bank. She reached into the water, moving her hand back and forth, alternately with and against the stream.
"Isn’t that cold?" Jack asked. Sam stood up, a mischievous smile on her face.
"Oh yes, it is. See?"
Whith these words she shook her wet hand in front of Jack’s face.
"For crying out loud!" he exclaimed, but from the way he was shaking his head, trying to suppress a smile, Sam could see he wasn’t really annoyed. He walked around Sam and knelt down as well and before she had realized what he was doing, he stood, his hands, that had just formed a vessel for the water, opening just in front of her so the water splashed right into her face.
"Jack!"
The smile on his face was open now.
"Just wanted to make sure you cool down as well."
She stepped into his arms. Laying her wet face against his shoulders so his shirt got wet. For just a moment he held her and then Sam stepped out of the embrace, taking his hand as they walked on.
The path ended just in front of the clearing, and Sam and Jack strode through the grass which reached up about the middle of their shins. Wild flowers made the whole scenery more colourful and Sam inhaled deeply, appreciating the fresh air after hours in the car that had gotten stuffy despite the air condition.
They didn‘t walk far, but sat down next to the creek and for one moment they just looked at each other, getting lost in each other‘s eyes. Sam eventually lay down, turning her head so she could see Jack‘s face. She was surprised to see concern in his eyes. He reached out and cupped her cheek and Sam leaned into his hand.
"Tired?" he asked.
"A little." Sam answered. Jack lay down on his side, pulling Sam close and she leaned her head against his chest, clsoing her eyes. This was what she had longed for, she realized, being in Jack‘s arms, here, at this quiet place where only the chirping of birds could be heard, the humming of insects and the distant sound ouf passing cars.
"Thank you for stopping Jack." she whispered.
"Thanks for asking, Sam." he relpied, stroking her hair, "This is a beautiful place. You were right."
Sam reached out, gently touching his cheek. Looking at him she felt so grateful for their relationship, grateful for the love he gave her every day.
"You have given me so much," she whispered, "and I never really thanked you for it."
"Hey!" Jack protested, "you‘re giving as much in return. You‘ll give birth to our child, remember? Sam, you know I didn‘t marry you out of pity, do you? I didn‘t just want to give you a new life, I wanted it for both of us. I‘m getting as much out of this marriage as you are."
Sam just nodded, remembering the time just before and after their marriage. It hadn‘t been easy. Knowing about the special bond between Jack and Major Carter, Sam had felt as if she was taking something vital from her equivalent and this had been hard for both of them. Their relationship had been tense and difficult right from the beginning and the marriage had made it worse. Things had changed during the following months, and while Major Carter seemed to have gotten over the marriage, Sam had managed to relax as well. They had become friends, but still Sam sometimes wondered whether Major Carter still suffered from the events of the past year.
Sam felt Jack‘s arms, still holding her, his right hand running through her hair, inside her joy, like a song, intensive and heavenly, bringing tears to her eyes. Since she had fallen in love with Jack, she had often felt this special kind of joy, had often heard it‘s song, but only during moments like this it became that intensive, that beautiful.
"Hey," Jack whispered, "you okay?"
Sam blinked and a single tear made it‘s way down her cheek.
"Yes," she whispered, "more than okay. I love you Jack. I love you so much."
"God, Sam!" he murmured, lowering his head so he could capture her lips in a gentle kiss.
"I love you too Sam. More than I ever imagined I could love somebody."
He kissed her again, pulling her still closer. His tongue traced her lips and Sam opened her mouth, embracing him, feeling her body melt into his.
Eventually they broke for air and Sam looked up into his eyes, dark, pure love shining in them. They said more than words ever could and Sam knew that she could always rely on Jack. He would never desert her, he would never fail her. Neither would she ever fail him. He was her life, and as much a part of her as his child that she was carrying inside her. His love for her was her motivation to remember the injections of the chemical every twelve hours, the vital chemical that suppressed the cascade tremors.
During the first weeks after her recovery, before Jack had taken her home with him, she had considered to just leave the base, hide somehwere for a few days, without the chemical, and wait for her certain death. Maybe she would have done it one day, had not Jack started to care for her, in several ways.
"Jack," she whispered, "I never told you, but before you invited me to stay with you... before we fell in love... I actually considered killing myself - and considering how severe the depression was, I think I would have done it eventually. You saved me, Jack."
"I know." he answered quietly, concern now mingling with the love in his eyes.
"You knew?" Sam asked.
"I guessed it. That‘s why I asked you to stay with me in the first place. I wanted to make sure you didn‘t do something stupid." He kissed her again.
"I‘m glad I didn‘t." Sam told him.
"Believe me, I‘m glad too. We all were quite worried about you."
"Sorry." Sam murmured.
"Nothing to be sorry for," Jack answered, "I know what it‘s like. I just didn‘t want you to give in."
"You gave me a reaso to live." Sam answered.
Jack laid his face next to hers, still holding her close and Sam drank in his warmth, the protection and the love he provided. She was happy, happy about being alive, about not having given in to her longing for death almost one year ago, happy about the child that was growing inside her. Lying quietly in Jack‘s arms, Sam felt more alive than ever, the song of joy inside her uniting with the chirping of birds around her.
© Athas Drennan
Story Notes: Author‘s Notes: Actually this is part of a longer story that isn‘t ready yet. I was just listening to the song "Flora‘s Secret" by Enya, then there was a sermon on the most beautiful day in one’s life and the book "surprised by Joy" by C. S. Lewis - and this little story begged to be written.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]