The Other Point of View
Prologue:
He knew the place so well, but it was different. It gave him a very spooky feeling. Janet poked and prodded, shone a pen light in his eyes; did all the usual stuff. Yet she was different; her hair looked softer around her face, but he still couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then he realised what it was; she was happier, more buoyant, despite her obvious fear of him and what he represented. Her heels tip tapped over the floor as she walked around the infirmary checking and adjusting things. He didn't have a clue what the hell she was doing, but found it a comfort anyway.
Hammond stood to one side with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was expressionless, but O'Neill knew he had to be curious about him; they all must be. Two armed SFs stood equally dispassionately at the doorway; they were there to keep him in. He wasn't going anywhere. Where could he go? There was nothing left; no one worth going to.
When Carter walked in the SFs tried to stop her but Hammond nodded his assent. O'Neill's heart skipped a few beats and he swallowed hard. Crap! He should have anticipated this; prepared himself. He hadn't been able to bring himself to even think about it. As she saw him on the bed she stopped in her tracks; a classic double take.
Oh, god! he thought. This was what he should have dreaded, and also what he most wanted. Sam. She noticed the pain temporarily darken his face, then it was gone. Her eyebrows and forehead furrowed as she peered at him curiously, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Colonel O'Neill?" She was obviously startled, not expecting to see him there. Turning towards Hammond she acknowledged the base commander with a nod, "Sir?"
She turned back to look again at O'Neill. It wasn't him. This wasn't her Colonel. There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
*********************
When Jack got back from leave the next day he was in for one heck of a surprise. He'd been at the cabin for a few days, licking his latest wounds and clearing his head ready for the next bad hand to be dealt to him. He popped his head around Hammond's open door.
"Knock, knock, sir." He smiled cheekily at Hammond. "I'm told you wanted to see me as soon as I got in?"
"Jack." Hammond sighed, Jack wasn't going to like this. "Have a good time in Minnesota?"
"Um… yes sir. Fishing, sun, beautiful scenery. Hard to beat, sir."
Hammond indicated that he should sit down.
"Jack, something happened while you were away…" There was one whole hell of a lot of explaining to do.
********************
Chapter 1:
Half an hour later, Jack stood face to face with himself. It was weird. The two O'Neills looked at each other warily; two cats wishing to protect their home turf. Except that, for one of them, this was not his home turf. That was all too clear to him and he backed off.
"So…" The real Jack sat facing his double. "tell me about it." Then he leaned back in his chair and waited.
His double had already been debriefed, but understood Jack's need to interrogate him and hear it all for himself.
The situation in his reality had been hopeless. After the Goa'uld attack, he was the last one left alive in the mountain. All his escape routes were cut off; he had no real means of defence anymore, never mind the ability to attack. Then he had remembered the quantum mirror. Sam had tried to explain it all to him, the alternate reality thing. He understood the principle, but he still didn't truly understand. He just trusted Sam to be right. More often then not she was.
He was boxed into a corner by searching Jaffa. Their lord, Apophis, wanted him alive; wanted to make him suffer for his, albeit pointless, resistance. He had been making his enemies' lives as miserable as he could. O'Neill knew the mountain better than anybody, all the passages and rooms. He had managed to fight a guerrilla action for a couple of days. Now they were nearly on him and he was short of options.
If he was going to die he would take as many of them with him as possible. He vowed to do this somehow but was virtually out of ammo, only had one grenade left and no more C4. He couldn't get off world to find allies to help them and he couldn't get out of the mountain to form any opposition or rebellion. Perhaps people in an alternative reality might have a way to help. It was already too late for his colleagues and friends, but it may not be too late for his planet; they might be able to salvage something from the world-wide decimation wrought by the relentless Jaffa.
So in the end he had chosen life rather than to die in vain. He would seek help and get the bastards somehow; get his revenge. The enemy had destroyed his world, his friends, his wife, and his whole life.
The 'real ' Jack had looked closely at O'Neill when he spoke of his wife.
"Sara?" He whispered, almost under his breath, but O'Neill had heard and shook his head.
"Sam. Sam Carter. She wasn't in the Air Force in my reality. Doctor Samantha Carter. They killed her." O'Neill briefly looked miserable at the memory of her loss and then his expression went blank. Jack recognised that suppression of feelings. He had done it so many times he'd lost count.
Jack was stunned. Carter? That was impossible, she was his 2IC. Not in O'Neill's reality, apparently. Jack thought it ridiculous, funny even. He didn't even think of her that way. That wasn't strictly true, he just didn't allow himself to dwell or act upon it. He had been attracted to her from day one. She was a beautiful looking woman and there was something indefinable about her that he could never even start to describe. She hadn't shown any interest in him and who could blame her? Even if she had, he could have done nothing about it.
"Does Carter know?" he asked O'Neill.
"Yes."
"Ha! Bet that came as quite a shock." He laughed. She probably thought it the most preposterous thing she had ever heard.
He shook himself out of the thought, swiftly moving back to the business at hand. Jack wanted to ask O'Neill lots of questions and O'Neill anticipated most of them. He knew this interrogator well; it was him. He knew what Jack needed to know, how much detail to impart. He almost knew what Jack was thinking.
"I know you won't want to stick your neck out to help me. You're asking why you should risk the lives of your own people to save my butt? I'm not asking you to save my butt. I'm asking you to help me do something to salvage what's left of Earth, my planet, and my home. Think about it Jack. Please."
A little later, O'Neill turned the tables on Jack, asking him questions. He was appalled by Teal'c's presence at the SGC and wondered how Jack could stomach working with him; curious as to how it had come about that the SGC of this reality had such fundamental differences to his own. Voicing his distrust and loathing of the Jaffa provoked anger in Jack, who rose to the defence of his friend.
"Look, I understand that the Teal'c in your reality was still First Prime to Apophis, killed your wife, helped to destroy your world. I guess I wouldn't feel much different if I were you. But our Teal'c is loyal to us. You can trust him, believe me." O'Neill shook his head, still not sure how to reconcile himself with it all.
"How is it that your fate is so different to ours? Is it Teal'c? Did he make the difference? How was it that he joined you?"
"Well, it had something to do with meeting you… I mean me. He felt inspired or something, must be my natural charm and charisma." Jack shrugged. "The guy's got a strange sense of humour. Go figure!"
O'Neill smiled at the man who was speaking in his own manner. This was spooky. Jack continued.
"Lots of things seem to be different in this reality. There's you and Sam for starters." He coughed to cover his discomfort at that notion. "Carter is an important and integral member of my team. So is Daniel Jackson. It seems you don't even know a Daniel Jackson in your reality."
"I'm surprised you're happy having two geeks on your team. I wouldn't have been." Replied O'Neill, wondering just how different this O'Neill was from him. Not that different, he figured. Maybe circumstances had changed him a little.
"See… there's one difference right there. Daniel may be a geek but he's my geek, and a good friend. His curiosity and determination to make friends everywhere he goes has got us into more trouble than I can recount. But he's also damned good at what he does and has saved our asses a few times too. And Carter? Well you married her in your reality so you can't think she's that much of a geek. Here? She's a good officer, not a geek. I have a great team. We fit."
"You never thought of Sam that way? You know…" O'Neill was curious; not believing that this Jack could possibly have overlooked Sam's other attributes.
"No. Of course not. She's one of my team."
He felt himself reddening slightly, confirming the lie on his lips, and deftly changed the subject. It did not go unnoticed by O'Neill. He knew this man too well to be taken in and recognised his counterpart lying even to himself. He thought it sad that this O'Neill hadn't found the happiness he had, even though it had been all too brief. He chose to say nothing more about it and let his double manoeuvre the conversation away from the subject.
When Jack eventually left his counterpart he felt pretty freaked out by the whole experience. Sure he talked to himself, but never literally. That Carter thing was pretty strange too. He recalled Daniel mentioning that he and Carter had been engaged to each other, in that other reality he had been in. He felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach; it made him edgy but he couldn't place what it was. It was probably just this doppelganger thing, that and the idea that the Earth had been destroyed by the Goa'uld. In this reality they'd been lucky and had defeated Apophis.
******************
O'Neill was a little spooked too. It was a strange thing to be confronted by yourself; to have a conversation and almost sense and know the thoughts and feelings of the person you are talking to; to second guess him. Even stranger had been meeting the double of his beloved wife. Her hair was short and she was in the forces but she was uncannily like his Sam, nonetheless.
He thought back to when he had first met his Sam. It had been before the original Abydos mission. She was working on the Stargate Project in the Pentagon, but had come to Cheyenne Mountain to help Catherine solve the mysteries of the gate on site. He had been too single-mindedly intent on self destruction to take much notice of her then. Besides, she was a scientist. He hated geeks; more trouble then they're worth in his experience. He made an honourable exception for Catherine.
Then, when the gate was re-opened a year later they had met again when she transferred permanently to the mountain. By then he had found that it was possible to live again, to be human. However, he had never expected to meet and fall for a woman so quickly and completely.
O'Neill had not believed it would ever be possible to possess those kinds of feelings again. What energy he had left when he returned from missions, he focussed on her. To his complete surprise, and utter delight, she had reciprocated his feelings. He couldn't believe his luck. They had married a year later.
A year after that, she was dead at the hands of the scum sucking snake heads. He felt so empty without her, missed her so terribly. So now he focussed on revenge - and retribution. He had taken down a fair few Jaffa before coming to this reality.
When Major Samantha Carter had walked into the infirmary in this reality he had been staggered. He should have known, or guessed, but had preferred not to even face that prospect. His stomach had flipped and heart hammered heavily in his chest at the sight of her. She had taken his breath away.
Sam! She was alive, here and now. He had wanted to go to her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her. Of course, he did none of these things. This was not his Sam; his Sam was dead. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut all over again. While she and Hammond were there he managed to keep himself together. Once they left he had thrown up the contents of his stomach, unable to stop himself.
After all the tests they allocated a room to him and posted a couple of SFs at the door. He lay on the bed depressed and alone, thinking about his wife and everything he had lost; how lucky they were in this reality to still have it all. He was determined to do something. It was not in his nature to sit on his ass doing nothing. He'd go back on his own and pick them off one by one if he had to.
A small knock on his door disturbed his thoughts. It was her and he hastily stood, trying to hide his confusion and dismay. He guessed she'd been sent to check if he was okay. Sam thought O'Neill looked exhausted and very pale.
"Sorry to disturb you. I… you look like you could use some rest. I'll come back later."
"Sam?" She looked surprised at his use of her first name. No doubt his double called her Carter; he was, after all, her CO in this reality. "Please stay. I could use some company." Your company, he thought.
He sat back down on the bed indicating the space next to him, and she sat slightly uncomfortably and with a tight-lipped smile on her lips. O'Neill looked a little spaced out and, perhaps, depressed.
"Look." She said to him in a sympathetic tone, "I can't ever begin to know what you've been through. I know…uh...I know you've lost a lot."
His face eyes glistened with moisture from tears he was determined to withhold and his chocolate eyes turned a shade or two darker. He was struggling for control, and found it.
"I lost you. I watched you die Sam. Three days ago, helping us to defend the mountain. And here you are, alive and safe in this perfect world, and you don't even know me. Yeah sure you betchya… I lost a lot." He laughed bitterly.
Sam followed his gaze to a photograph he kept on the nightstand. He had put it in his pocket and brought it with him. She looked at it dumbly. It was her, and the Colonel. She was in a wedding dress, he in dress uniform holding her close to him. They were smiling and looking happy. She gasped at that implication, looking from the picture up to O'Neill.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. Oh my God, they were married in his reality. Her pulse quickened and she blushed, hastily getting up. "I take it where you're from we were..."
"Married." He nodded, and seeing the dismayed expression on her face added, "This makes you uncomfortable"
"No, no, not at all. I just... Yes, it's a little unnerving. I…"
A knock at the door interrupted her and an airman entered with a tray of food.
"Sir? Sorry, Major, I didn't realise..." He said as he saw her.
"Just...put it on the table, airman." And she signalled that he should leave them.
"Yes Ma'am. Sir"
"Close the door on your way out." Said O'Neill and Sam suppressed a grin as she had been about to say the exact same thing. O'Neill approached the table where the airman had set down his meal.
"I haven't had a hot meal in forever. Just a couple of weeks ago, we were celebrating our first anniversary. Then we got the call that the Goa'uld ships had been spotted entering our solar system. We just left everything. I blew out the candles and you turned off the oven. We just left. They didn't hit Colorado Springs from orbit like most of the big cities, so the table must still be set." He was almost talking to himself, he said it so quietly and with a catch in his throat. "Cold by now." He added and looked towards Sam longingly.
"Yeah. Listen, um, I should probably be..." She rose from the bed and started walking towards the door.
"Stay." O'Neill begged her.
"Colonel…" She was trying to resist his entreaty; it was hard.
"Please."
"Look, you're dealing with a loss right now that I can't even begin to... What I mean is, maybe I'm not the right person to help you." She muttered as she tried to ignore the distress in his voice, but O'Neill raced over to her, taking her arm and turning her round to face him.
"Oh God, Sam, yes you are. You're the only one who can. I miss her so much. You don't have to say anything, just…" His voice was almost a whisper, a plea, and the pain was clearly etched on his face, in his eyes. He made no attempt to hide it this time.
Sam's heart went out to him and she took his hand and squeezed it in sympathy. This prompted him to take her in his arms and hold her close. Initially Sam felt uneasy, then let him, comforting him with her own soft caress. It felt good to be encircled in his strong arms; too good. She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't her Colonel. He would never do this, wasn't interested in her that way in the least. She had not realised until now quite how much she wanted him to be, deep down. She had buried those feelings. It was not possible in this reality.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, not sure what reply she wanted.
"I can't. I…" O'Neill faltered, "I loved her. We were happy. We were good together. Not much more I can say."
Internally, Sam was in turmoil, but she just nodded at him briefly. Lucky them, she thought, or maybe not so lucky. He had lost her and she could see that the pain of that loss was almost overwhelming to him. She led him back to the bed and just held him. If he wanted to talk he would. She knew he wouldn't though, not if he was anything like their O'Neill. This was what he needed, the physical comfort of her. Poor O'Neill, he'd lost a lot.
After a long time of silence and comfort Sam pleaded work and left him alone again. When she left he shed a silent tear and held the photo close to his heart, mourning her loss.
Sam felt flustered and confused. O'Neill had stirred the feelings within her that she had long suppressed. She shouldn't feel this way about her CO; couldn't allow it to surface like this. He was due back soon and she did not want him to sense or see anything of that. He'd probably have her off the team pronto. It would be too dangerous to let her stay. Even if there could never be anything like that between them - and she sincerely doubted he felt the same way - she wanted to stay on SG-1. She admired and respected the Colonel, his leadership, and would miss that; him, and the team. They had all become so much more than merely a team. It was important to her; they were important.
****************
Back in the present she was due to meet her team in the canteen in five minutes. It would be the first time she had seen their O'Neill since his double had arrived. She dreaded it, steeling herself for the feelings it might provoke within her.
When she arrived the others were already there. This Jack looked so different, yet the same.
"Hey Carter, nice of you to join us." Jack used his customary sarcastic manner to greet her.
"I'm not late, am I sir?" She answered defensively, looking briefly at her watch.
Jack just smiled enigmatically and Sam's legs went wobbly. She sat down opposite him, slightly shaky, trying to concentrate on her self control. Her heart rate had risen and she felt sure she must be a little red-faced.
They discussed the duplicate O'Neill situation. The Colonel was reluctant to offer help. O'Neill had been right about his thoughts on this; he was unwilling to risk lives for a reality that was not their own. Teal'c was inevitably on the Colonel's side; this reality was all that counted, he said. Carter and Daniel, however, were pleading with them to find a way of helping O'Neill's version of Earth. Had things been different they might have easily been in this situation themselves. They had made different choices, forged other alliances. There must be something they could do.
Quietly they argued through the whole thing; pros and cons. Jack kept glancing at Carter, curiously. As she was studiously trying to avoid his gaze, she didn't notice. He noticed her avoidance, however, and wondered how she felt about the alternate O'Neill, the marriage issue. His mind kept coming back to that, despite his best efforts. He had so been trying to ignore how he felt deep down about her that he had almost forgotten what he did feel until confronted with O'Neill's reality.
They had still reached no conclusions when they were called to the infirmary. O'Neill had been taken ill.
*******************
Janet didn't know what to think. She'd never seen anything like it before. O'Neill's face, his whole body, had distorted before her very eyes. He was not helped by the arrival of SG-1 in the infirmary. He rose from his bed when he saw Teal'c, calling him murderer. In his reality, Teal'c was still First Prime to Apophis; he had led the assault on the mountain, killed O'Neill's wife in front of his eyes. Teal'c left the infirmary, a tactical withdrawal, and Daniel followed him out. O'Neill didn't even know a Daniel Jackson in his reality so he thought it more diplomatic if he also withdrew.
O'Neill recalled his Sam talking to him about alternate realities. She'd lost him somewhat, but he had been trying to listen.
"My Sam mentioned something about… um… cascading trophy…something or other?" He gestured his frustration at not remembering what Sam had told him and could see by the bemused expressions that this Sam and the Doc didn't have a clue what he was talking about. "Alternate realities. Cascade… something, for crying out loud!"
Sam looked at Janet, still puzzled then smiled. She'd got it.
"Entropic Cascade failure!"
The two O'Neill's looked as confused and they had a few moments before.
"It's not medical, it's temporal. Entropic cascade failure, on a cellular level. I thought it would take years, not days. The increased entropy generated by two Colonel O'Neills existing in the same reality might...theoretically be causing a temporal distortion. It's a theory, although it seems it's not theoretical anymore." The O'Neills looked just as puzzled as ever. "Essentially, it's a side effect of travel through the quantum mirror."
.
"Ok, so then how do I treat this?" Asked Janet.
"You can't." Sam replied, "the more time passes, the worse it should get."
"So I'm going to die here." O'Neill interjected.
"You're not gonna die." Jack stated emphatically.
"Actually, Sir..." The Colonel gave her one of his looks and she shrugged.
Once it had sunk in to the O'Neills it became clear as crystal; the O'Neill from the other side of the mirror could not stay in this reality. They had no choice but to find him a way to go home, or they were condemning him to a horrible death, sooner rather than later.
Jack noticed how solicitous Carter was towards O'Neill. It gave him pause for thought. Did she care about his double? This whole situation was confusing the hell out of him. He went off to speak to Hammond, leaving them alone.
******************
Agreeing with Hammond that they should try and find some way to help O'Neill, if they came up with a good plan, Jack returned to the infirmary to give his double the news. What he saw shook him to the core. Carter and O'Neill were locked in a kiss. This didn't seem to be any ordinary kiss. It appeared to have a passion and feeling that he had almost forgotten existed between a man and woman. Not able to bring himself to watch something so intimate, he coughed loudly to interrupt them.
Carter muttered "Sir", embarrassed, unable to look Jack in the eye and shifting nervously on her feet. O'Neill just winked at him. Jack wanted to knock his smug, self satisfied block off. Instead, he was all business, telling them about his discussions with Hammond and arranging for them to get together to discuss planning in thirty minutes.
Then he left them again feeling angry and upset. How dare this interloper take advantage of his 2IC. It should be him kissing Carter, not O'Neill. Oh god, Sam had fallen for a different version of him. The thought shocked him. He was jealous of himself, for crying out loud! It was crazy. For the first time his feelings for Sam struck him with a clarity he had never felt before. They were plain for him to see, not repressed and hidden deep as they normally were. Crap! What the hell was he supposed to do now?
Chapter 2:
His need to help O'Neill was suddenly even more pressing. He felt a desperate urge to get him safely back to his own reality; get rid of his rival. He knew it was stupid; it would do nothing to make Sam feel any differently towards him in this reality. In any event, what could he do about it even if she did feel like that about him? He started to dread their planned meeting; facing them would be hard. Jack spent the next thirty minutes fighting himself and his feelings. The Colonel, the tough and hardened soldier, within him won; at least for now, and on the surface. He was determined to show none of the inner turmoil. Carter must never know.
Back in the infirmary, Sam cursed at being caught kissing O'Neill by the one person who mattered. What the hell was the Colonel going to think? There could never be anything between her and this O'Neill; they didn't even belong in the same reality, could never pursue anything further. Her Jack, on the other hand… It was ridiculous to even think it. Nothing could happen between them either, even if her Jack thought about her like that. He obviously didn't; his total lack of reaction to finding her in the kiss confirmed that once and for all. What did she expect, a jealous rage?
"Crap!"
O'Neill, despite his own tumultuous feelings, was vaguely amused by it. He didn't think he should tell her that though.
"I'm sorry Sam. I… we should never have done that. It was dumb. You aren't her and I'm not him."
"Not him? What do you mean?"
"Don't be so obtuse, Sam. You know damned well what I mean."
Of course she did. It was probably stupid to deny it to this O'Neill. Deep inside, she had very much wanted it to be her Jack who was kissing her. How could she deny it? She had felt good being held in O'Neill's arms; the kiss had burned into her soul. It seemed a long time since she had been kissed. She tried to think when it had been. Was it Narim of the Tollan? She had never truly had those sorts of feelings for him but had got caught up in his feelings for her. She'd come close with Martouf, but her own feelings were confused with those of Jolinar who she had carried within her. When it came down to it, her Jack was the man she wanted. And this O'Neill? He missed his own dead Sam very much and had merely sought solace in the arms of her double. He felt nothing for her.
O'Neill himself knew that was true too. No doubt he could learn to love this Sam given time but, right now, she was nowhere near close to the real thing. The two Sam's might appear similar, but they were different, and his wife was dead. The temporary release from that pain offered through the arms and lips of this Sam dissipated quickly. Once more he felt totally alone and bereft.
"I'm sorry, Sam, I used you. It was stupid and unfair. God alone knows what your Jack is thinking right now." Sam laughed bitterly at those words.
"I guess I was using you too. But, my Jack? He isn't my Jack. He doesn't give a damn about me except as his team mate, his second."
"You believe that?" Seeing the sad look in her eyes, he realised that she did. "You think things are so different in this reality? Emotions, I mean? The only difference is that in this reality you are both in the military. He's your CO and it's against the regs. You think there's nothing there for you under that hard exterior of his? Personally, I don't believe it. He's me, despite the differences."
He could see that Sam didn't really believe him and moved towards her again, taking her in his arms and comforting her this time. After a while, Sam disentangled herself and stepped away from him.
"You're right, you're not him. You're only confusing me; making a bad situation worse." She swiftly turned away and left him there, alone again.
O'Neill's heart was breaking. He'd screwed up, so damned typical of him. He was always lost when it came to expressing his emotions. His Sam knew that but she had loved him nevertheless. She had known how he felt even though he was often unable to express it. He missed her more than ever and, despite the tough outer shell, was crying inside. Looking at his watch he realised it was time to face the music. Shit! Put on that brave face you do so well, O'Neill, he told himself.
*****************
Everyone at the meeting felt a little awkward. O'Neill glared at Teal'c, hatred plain in his eyes. He also felt uncomfortable about the Jack and Carter of this reality and what they might be thinking. Jack could hardly bear to look at O'Neill, or Sam; he was trying so hard to bury those feelings again. They kept rising to the surface, unbidden and uncontrolled. Teal'c knew how O'Neill must be feeling about him; his counterpart had helped destroy his planet, had killed his wife. Daniel found it weird that this version of O'Neill didn't even know him; there was nothing there between them. It made him slightly uneasy in his presence. Hammond couldn't believe his luck; two Jack O'Neills. One was more than a handful.
Daniel was talking. "Think about it. Billions of people enslaved. I just can't help but feel, in the grand scheme of things, we owe them. Besides, the only way to really help O'Neill is to stop the Goa'uld in his reality and...save whatever's left."
"How do you suggest we do that Dr Jackson? The resources of their entire world couldn't defend against the Goa'uld." Although he wanted to do something Hammond was pragmatic and he wouldn't risk his own people without a good plan.
"What about the resources of our world?" Daniel responded.
"What do we have that they don't?" Sam asked.
Daniel replied, "Our fate. We made contact with the Asgard."
"So?" asked Jack, wondering what difference that could make.
"So, if we could somehow make contact with the Asgard in his reality, maybe their Asgard will be willing to help them."
"Defend their world against the Goa'uld?" This time it was Hammond who questioned Daniel's suggestion.
"Yes."
"And just how do you propose we raise the Asgard... in their reality?" Jack asked, knowing Daniel must have something in mind.
"Ok, we still have the dialling program that took you to the Asgard home planet, right?" Daniel looked at Jack, who shrugged helplessly. He couldn't remember any of the stuff that had been dumped into his brain from that particular occasion.
Sam caught onto Daniel's thoughts, "Which we could download to a removable hard drive. But that still won't do it. Remember, in order to dial the Asgard home world they had to provide us with a generator that transferred extra energy to the Gate's capacitors. I haven't been able to get it working again. Apparently it was designed to work only once."
"Assuming MajorCarter can figure it out, once in the other reality it would be difficult to get someone to the Stargate without the Goa'uld detecting and stopping them, would it not?" Teal'c asked, quizzically.
"That's where I come in?" O'Neill asked. They seemed to be planning this whole thing without him. Surely, he was the one that had to make it happen; this was his world they were talking about saving. "Who goes through the gate? Me? Sam? If it's Sam, I'll get her to the Stargate. What, you think I'm going to let her go alone? She's my…" he tailed off uncomfortably, about to say 'wife' then realising what he was saying.
Jack shifted in his chair. Had O'Neill been going to say 'wife'? He glared briefly at O'Neill and then looked at Carter for the first time trying to gauge her reaction. She looked as comfortable with all this as he felt.
"You'll also need someone to hook up the generator. And download the dialling program." Jack said, the plan starting to come together in his mind. This might work.
"Perhaps it ought to be me that goes through the gate?" Suggested Daniel. The rest of you seem better suited to other things." The room nodded assent at this idea. Daniel was the ace communicator. If he couldn't persuade them to help no one could.
"You will also require my assistance." Added Teal'c, and O'Neill looked at him with loathing.
"We can handle this." He said roughly, but Daniel intervened on his friend's behalf.
"No, Teal'c has a point. You said yourself that Teal'c led the assault on the mountain in your reality. Now, couldn't we use something like that to our advantage?"
Jack laughed and smiled at Daniel, thinking he was learning fast. "Quite the military mind, Daniel Jackson."
Carter, however, brought them down to earth with a bump. "No, Sir, I'm sorry. Teal'c can't go any more than you can...entropic cascade failure. If you go, there will still be two of you in one reality and the same will be true with Teal'c."
It hadn't occurred to Jack that he might not be able to go on this mission. He should be there; they needed him. Frankly, he needed to be there. What might happen if he weren't?
"O'Neill did not become sick during his first 48 hours. If our mission is not complete within that time it is most likely that we will be dead." Teal'c said in a typically truthful, albeit negative, way. It was so Teal'c to get to the heart of the matter like that.
Jack grimaced, "Good point." Then he turned to Hammond, "are you ok with all this, Sir?
"If you feel confident you can pull this off, I have no objection. However, upon your return I want that quantum mirror destroyed." Hammond replied.
"Ok," Said Daniel, "well this is all well and good, but none of us are going anywhere unless we get that Asgard generator working again."
"Ok. Carter, download the program to the re-moveable… whatever it is, and meet us in the lab." He indicated O'Neill.
Before he left the room, Hammond pulled Jack and O'Neill over to one side.
"Jack. You aren't going to like this but I can't let you go on this one."
"Sir…" Jack tried to marshal his arguments.
"No arguments Jack. Major Carter is right, and we have no idea what effect it will have on you if you go to that reality."
"You're letting Teal'c go, right?" Hammond nodded, "But he said it. It took at least 48 hours before that… cascade thing kicked in on…on…." He waved his hand in O'Neill's direction.
"But you two have already been together in this reality for longer than that. There is only one of Teal'c in this reality. I'm sorry son. Plan the details with them, by all means, but plan that you won't be there. O'Neill's in charge on this mission." He nodded towards Jack's double. "If you need an extra person we'll send someone from another team."
Jack winced and both O'Neills said simultaneously, "yes, Sir."
Hammond was right. He didn't like it but had no choice. This probably wasn't a good time to ignore orders. It might be different if they were trying to save their own reality, but he had to resign himself to the inevitable; the other O'Neill and Carter were leading on this one. No, he didn't like it one little bit. His brain hurt with all this alternative reality stuff.
"Sir? Do you think it's possible there's an alternate version of myself out there that actually understands what the hell is going on?" Hammond just chuckled, indulgently.
Once outside O'Neill said, "Um, I think we might need to talk."
Jack looked at him dubiously, "What about?"
"I think you know what about."
Jack winced again but said, "now is not the time." O'Neill just smiled faintly and replied,
"Okay, I'll catch ya later."
It was one conversation that Jack just didn't want to have. However, he nodded assent while thinking that there was surely some way to avoid it.
*********************
Eventually, Sam figured it out. Initially she felt highly uncomfortable, both O'Neills watching her, unable to help. She had sent them packing and, left to her own devises, had thought of the answer. All she needed was the ratio of the decay rate of naquada relative to the energy output. Eureka!
All she had to do now was work out how to calculate it. Oh boy! Thank God she'd recently done all that work on the naquada reactor with Merrin, otherwise she would never calculate it. It had to be soon. O'Neill was getting worse as the effects as a cascade trauma raged through his body increasingly powerful and more frequently.
**********************
Daniel was on his way into the infirmary to pick up his latest batch of anti-histamines. He could see the duplicate O'Neill lying on one of the beds so decided it was about time to make his acquaintance. Although they had been in the same briefing together, they had never really met since O'Neill had arrived. He wondered whether now was a good time but forged ahead anyway. When is a good time for anything? One can put off anything given the right excuse.
"Hi, you OK? Did you have another one of those attacks?" O'Neill nodded, sitting up with his legs over the side of the bed.
"So… you're Daniel Jackson." He said.
"Yeah."
"And we're what? Friends in this reality, right?" O'Neill's gestures were identical to Jack's. Daniel thought it a little strange.
"Yeah."
"Uh, huh. Why? Excuse me for being blunt but you don't exactly seem my type."
"You have to have lived it." Daniel smiled slightly and O'Neill chuckled.
"I'm sorry… about Sam… in your reality." Daniel said sympathetically. O'Neill nodded an acknowledgement, a sorrowful look marring his features briefly. "It must be a little strange, with our Sam, I mean." Daniel plunged on, as so often, regardless; his Jack would probably just tell him to can it, or worse.
"I wouldn't say that." Daniel arched his eyebrows.
"I'm sure that I would be pretty freaked out if my wife died and then I met her double in another reality a few days later." Daniel said, tactful as ever. O'Neill said nothing in response, so Daniel continued, "our Sam is pretty special to us. I would hate anyone to hurt her. Or Jack."
O'Neill wondered how Daniel had found out about the kiss; it was obvious that he was warning him off Sam, for the sake of both her, and the Jack of this reality. He knew himself well enough to realise that the Jack of this reality didn't tell. Sam must have mentioned it.
"I don’t know what you mean." He did not want to get drawn into this conversation.
"Don't play dumb. Or are you just doing the Jack O'Neill avoidance thing?" O'Neill smiled at that.
"Now I begin to see why he might like you, Daniel Jackson." He replied, avoiding the subject again.
"Of course, there was also that whole saving his life thing that I did."
O'Neill laughed. "Yep. That'll win you friends, every time." He paused, then continued, "Look, I'm not gonna do anything to rock your little world, ok, Daniel?"
"I think you might have already."
"That was never my intention. It just… happened, alright? It's not gonna happen again." Daniel stepped forward and smiled brightly at O'Neill.
"Ok." He accepted O’Neill’s word, then "nice to meet you. I'm Daniel Jackson." He held out his hand towards O'Neill, who smiled in an amused sort of way and shook it.
"It's a pleasure Daniel Jackson. I'm Jack O'Neill."
**********************
Jack had hastily made his way to his office to hide himself away and think. It was a good while later that O'Neill cornered him there. He sat at the opposite side of the desk.
"Jack," said O'Neill "that kiss, it was a mistake, for both of us."
Jack closed his eyes and sighed loudly. "I don’t wanna talk about this." Childishly, he put his fingers in his ears and started humming to himself.
"Then just listen, you stupid, stubborn son of a bitch!" O'Neill shouted through the noise. When Jack looked up at him, removing the fingers and grimacing, he continued, "You afraid I'm gonna take her away from you? You know that's not possible. For crying out loud, we can't even live in the same reality! Tell me something, Jack, who knows you better than I do? You think I have no idea how you're feeling right now?"
Jack shrugged helplessly. "She's not your wife." It was almost uttered under his breath.
"Well, she's certainly not yours." O'Neill said sarcastically, then he suddenly looked sad, "No, she's not my wife. My wife's dead, and this Sam could never replace her" He looked down at his hands, taking a deep breath to calm himself.
Jack heart felt a surge of sympathy for this man in front of him. He had lost it all. Lost his world, and the woman that he loved. He imagined himself in that same position and thought maybe he understood a little how hard it must have been for the man to be faced with the duplicate of his dead wife. He had sought solace from that duplicate, and who could blame him? He realised that it wasn't O'Neill he was pissed with, it was Carter - for wanting this other version of him, but not him.
"You can't expect her to know how you feel if you don’t show her Jack." Said O'Neill, "you're crazy not to do something about the way you feel about her. She's worth it, believe you me."
"What the hell do you know about it?" Jack' voice was raised, suddenly angry, but O'Neill just shrugged.
"Everything Jack. Who better than me?"
"You're not me."
"No, I'm not, and you aren't me. You think Sam doesn't know the difference?"
"It was you she was kissing!" Jack almost spat that back at O'Neill who calmly replied,
"But she wanted it to be you."
"That's ridiculous." Jack looked frustrated. He knew that Carter didn't feel that way about him. This wasn't O'Neill's reality, it was his. It was for him to know what was real here and what wasn't, not his counterpart.
"If you say so." replied O'Neill. He couldn't force this Jack to see it. "Look, Sam and I, in my reality, we were… great. The best. But this isn't my reality, or my Sam, however much I might wish it was. She's your Sam."
"She's not mine." For the first time, his face clearly showed that he wished it was otherwise. He kept thinking that this whole conversation was ludicrous. He was talking to himself, for crying out loud. But this wasn't him. Goddammit, it was so confusing.
"Then make her yours. Life's too short. Be happy, for crying out loud." Jack almost laughed to hear that expression from his double's lips. Instead, he said disconsolately,
"Maybe I don't deserve to be happy." O'Neill just stared straight into his eyes and replied,
"That's what I used to think."
He got up from his seat opposite Jack and swiftly left the room. Leave the guy to think about it, let him stew. It wasn't really his natural inclination to be a matchmaker anyway.
Jack sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Damn! His whole world was turning upside down. Those emotions he was so proud of keeping buried were taking over. He fought them, hard. In anger and frustration he picked up the glass paperweight on his desk and threw it against the opposite wall. It shattered into pieces. I know how it feels, he thought.
************************
Sam was pleased with herself for working it all out. Their plan could now become a reality, although they thought it wise to take an extra hand. Lt. Jeffries from SG-3 was drafted. At least he wasn't a total jarhead, despite the fact that he was a Marine. They dressed Teal'c up like Apophis' First Prime in O'Neill's reality. It gave O'Neill the creeps but he accepted it was probably the right thing to do.
Having fiddled around a little with the quantum mirror's remote control device, they thought they had found the right reality at last. It was time. Jack was there to see them off, and wait their return. He wanted to wish them luck. He nodded towards O'Neill, and then shook his hand, genuinely hoping that he made it despite his mixed feelings. Then he wished each team member, and Jeffries, luck individually. He left Sam until last and drew her slightly apart from the others, grasping her arm and looking into her eyes.
"Good luck Carter. Come home alive, ok? Bring them all home alive. I'll be waiting here, in case you need anything. Ok?" As she looked back into his eyes, she saw his look of concern, thinking it nothing more than a commander's concern for his team. She knew the Colonel wasn't happy that he was scrubbed from this mission. She, however, was relieved. One O'Neill was more than enough.
"Yes, Sir."
She nodded acknowledgement, grasping his arm in return and squeezing it briefly. She wasn't sure why but it seemed Jack needed that reassurance. He smiled a response and let her go.
Sam turned to the others and they all touched the mirror at once. Then they were gone. Jack watched until they turned off the mirror, and settled down to wait. Letting them go was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He hated being so helpless; that he was stuck here worrying about them while their lives were in danger. Nevertheless he would wait. He vowed not to move from the spot until their return. Pray to God that they all came back alive.
Chapter 3
At the AU SGC:
It was quiet… too quiet. Ok, so this was a storeroom that wasn't exactly in the centre of things, but way too quiet for Sam's liking. Her senses were alert to every sound. There was none. Then she heard faint footsteps, getting louder; lots of footsteps, marching on their direction. She breathed a sigh of relief when the Jaffa went right on past the room.
"Ok, Jeffries, you're with me for a recon." Said O'Neill.
"It's me that should come with you." Sam was slightly indignant.
"Sam…" O'Neill calling her that still felt a little weird, especially in the context of a mission.
"With all due respect, Sir, that's Major, or Carter on this mission." She could see his reluctance, and the internal struggle, play on his face briefly; he wasn't used to a Sam that was in the Air Force, let alone his team.
"Ok… Major," Sam thought it probably rankled with him to call her that, "nevertheless, Jeffries is with me. The rest of you stay here. We'll be back soon." He leaned closer to Sam and whispered. "For god's sake, Sam, loosen up a little. It just feels wrong to call you Major, or Carter. Please?" She opened her mouth to say something, and he almost saw her own struggle flicker across her face.
"Ok, Jack." She replied, instead of the tart response she had originally thought of. O'Neill nodded at her, a twinkle in his eye, and left with Jeffries.
Jack. Sam uttered the name back to herself. She had never called her Colonel that. It was not appropriate, but she thought it sounded good on her lips and repressed a little smile at her thoughts.
When O'Neill and Jeffries came back they were hotly pursued by the Teal'c of this reality. When he entered the door, the real Teal'c pointed his staff weapon directly at his counterpart.
"Kel'noc" He said to his double.
His alternative self looked shocked and replied, "Kel'shak!"
"Renounce Apophis as a false god and join in our deliverance of this world and I will spare you."
"Shol'va!" As his double prepared to fire his staff weapon, Teal'c squeezed on his own, killing his duplicate immediately.
O'Neill looked over at Sam with a slightly shocked expression and then walked over to Teal'c and the dead body.
"The idea was to zat him." He said to Teal'c.
"I do not, however, believe that you are unhappy he is dead, O'Neill."
O'Neill had to agree with that. This guy had killed his wife. He wouldn't have minded killing the bastard himself but did not waste time by regretting it. The big guy from the other reality had just gone up way higher in his estimation, and he nodded at him slightly in acknowledgement.
They could hear a couple of Jaffa coming along the corridor and Teal'c grasped hold of Daniel, taking him out of the room and closing the storage room door behind him. He roughly pulled Daniel along the corridor, as he would if he was the Teal'c of this reality.
Once they'd gone O'Neill breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ok kids. Part one complete; now let's get the rest of this show on the road." He and Sam left the room, leaving Jeffries to fiddle with the remote control for the mirror, trying to find the right reality for their return.
They carefully navigated the corridors of the SGC, knowing them like the back of their hands. Stopping at an access panel in the wall, Sam strategically planted some C4 while O'Neill kept watch, alert to any sound or movement. Luckily there was none. When they rounded the corner O'Neill blew the charge and, soon after that, they disappeared into the hole it had left behind.
Meanwhile Teal'c presented his prize captive to Apophis in the control room, bowing humbly as he would if he was still First Prime.
"Who is this?" The Goa'uld asked.
"I found him trying to escape."
"Then maybe he can tell us the address of the planet to which their leaders have escaped, Teal'c. Question him. I will return to hear your results." He handed Teal'c a device to use for the torture of Daniel and left the room. Teal'c dismissed the two other Jaffa who were present, telling them that he would deal with this. He and Daniel were alone; the plan appeared to be working. They started work on the gate control systems, uploading the programme that would allow them to access the Asgard planet that Jack had been to in the other reality.
O'Neill kicked out a metal grating and he and Sam emerged on a different level of the SGC, heading towards the generator room. Once they arrived Sam started to hook up the transformer that Jack had built when his head was stuffed with the Asgard database.
"Sam?"
"Mmmm?" She continued to work.
"I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for helping."
"We don't know if it will work yet."
"Well, thanks for trying, then."
Sam turned and smiled at him. "I'm done."
"Then power it up, Major." He returned her smile and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.
"Jack, please don't." O'Neill nodded, withdrawing the hand, his smile fading to a look of sadness.
"You will get over it Jack… eventually. It's one of those cliché things that you hate, but it's true."
"Yeah, sure." His expression was grim and told her that he didn't really believe that. It made her wonder all the more about the relationship he'd had with his Sam. She wished she had more time to talk to him. Once the initial discomfort had worn off a little she realised she was more than curious about this other Jack and Sam. On the other hand she knew that there lurked a danger that could threaten her own little piece of reality. She turned on the transformer and they left to return to the storage room without exchanging another word.
Back in the control room Daniel was dialling the Asgard address.
"Let's hope this Colonel O'Neill is as good as our Jack, and that Sam and he got that generator working. Otherwise, this is gonna be a total disaster." Commented Daniel as he worked.
As the gate went on to dial the eighth chevron and then exploded into life, Teal'c nodded to Daniel.
"It appears that he is. It is best that you leave now, DoctorJackson, before we are discovered."
Daniel headed down to the gate room and, as he entered, so did another Jaffa from the opposite direction.
"Jaffa! Kree ho'nel! Ho'nel, Jaffa!" Teal'c ordered through the microphone. Daniel took full advantage of the Jaffa's hesitation and fled up the ramp and through the gate. The wormhole disengaged and Teal'c heard noise behind him.
"Why do you betray me?" it was Apophis and a couple of his Jaffa. Teal'c was trapped.
O'Neill and Sam cautiously approached the storage room and he opened the door, only to be confronted by a handful of Jaffa. They had their staff weapons pointed at Jeffries. One of them was crouching beside the dead Teal'c and looked pissed.
"Crap!" muttered O'Neill.
"Lower your weapons or we will kill him." Said one of the Jaffa.
"Colonel?" Sam asked. O'Neill was in charge of this mission, even if he was not her real CO.
"Yeah, we should do that." Replied O'Neill, shaking his head in disgust at their defeat and slowly lowering his weapon to the floor. They had been captured, a good plan turned into a disaster. The Jaffa turned to look at Sam curiously.
"You?" he said, "my Lord might be most interested in meeting you."
*************************
The real SGC:
Jack was fretting, pacing, and then fretting a bit more. He was like a caged lion, with the rest of his pride on the other side of the bars. He couldn't contact them, had no way of knowing whether they were okay, succeeding, failing miserably, or even dying. He had neither a way of knowing if they needed any help, nor a means to help them. It frustrated him the hell out of him.
He must have been mad to let his team go on this mission; a planet that had just been invaded by Apophis' army of Jaffa? What we he thinking? He refused all suggestions that he leave the room while his team was away. In the end General Hammond had to order him to take a break, even if only in the canteen. He promised that they would contact him if anything happened in his absence. Jack was not happy about it, but disobeying such a direct order would have been pointless. It was probably result in a frog march to a holding cell and a reprimand in the morning. That did not suit his purpose at all. He wanted to be back here as soon as he could get away with it.
Less than 20 minutes later he returned, watching the mirror like a hawk. The SFs on duty told him that, at one point, Jeffries had managed to 'tune in' to their location, but had quickly turned off the mirror again, looking behind him anxiously. Jack balled them out for not calling him, and then apologised as he knew damned well he would never have got there in time to see anything useful. He was angry with himself for missing something, What the hell had happened? Jack cursed inside that he had not held out waiting for another few minutes.
The alternate SGC:
O'Neill, Carter, Teal'c and Jeffries were lined up on their knees as Apophis walked along the line eyeing them.
"Deja-vu." O'Neill muttered under his breath and was rewarded by a smack round the head from the butt end of a staff weapon. "Ow!" He rolled to the floor in pain and Sam started to reach out to him. Apophis jerked her head round to face him.
"Stop! Who are you? My First Prime killed you before my very eyes, and I revived you again in the sarcophagus. You are on board my ship. How can you be in two places at once?"
O'Neill looked up at Apophis shocked. Revived? Sam's alive? Before he had the time to think this through Apophis turned to Teal'c.
"And who are you? What magic is this?"
"Well you should know better than anyone there's no such thing as magic." Quipped Jack, earning another blow from the staff.
I really should learn to keep my big mouth shut, he thought to himself as he writhed on the floor again. This hit had dislodged a tooth and he could feel his face starting to bruise and swell. Sam was torn between exasperation that he let his mouth run away with him, just as his counterpart could in her own reality, and concern for his welfare.
Apophis turned his attention back to Sam.
"I know someone who is most anxious to meet you. She comes. My love, I have some pets for you to play with." He looked towards the doorway and indicated the group with his hand. In the doorway stood the alternate Sam, dressed in Goa'uld finery, her eyes glowing gold at the captives.
Both O'Neill and Sam gasped and Jack moved to get up. The Sam who kneeled next to him grasped his arm to restrain him and he fought to be the Colonel, not the husband. His Sam was a Goa'uld! His heart broke once more and he struggled not to let his emotion show.
"Meet my new queen, Amunet. I will leave her to play with you at her whim, for now." Apophis stalked from the room leaving Amunet and a couple of Jaffa behind.
At the mention of the name Amunet, Sam and Teal'c looked at each other. Sam felt sick that it was her alternative self that had become Apophis' queen in this reality. It was hard to stomach. Teal'c took her arm to steady her.
"Well, what have we got here?" Amunet asked rhetorically, a sneer on her face. "The Shol’va. I am sure that my husband will want to play with you himself. I will leave him some pieces of you to keep him happy. You," She looked at Jeffries, I do not know you. But you," she looked at Sam and O'Neill, "I know you both. You are the husband of my host. We could have some fun." She sniggered, her sneer turned to a seductive smile, but with tongue firmly in her cheek. "As for you. You are me. That is not possible. Who are you? Tell me where you come from."
"From an alternate reality!" Sam replied honestly. "One in which, by the way, your Lord is dead."
Amunet indicated to a Jaffa, who shot Sam with a zat.
"Oh, come on!" O'Neill cried.
"What she speaks is true." Teal'c confirmed.
"What nonsense you all speak." She grabbed a zat from the hand of a Jaffa and made ready to fire. O'Neill's eyes widened. Crap, she was going to kill her alternative reality self. This was his wife!
"No, please!" He cried, "We'll explain everything."
Amunet lowered the zat and O'Neill bent towards Sam, who was starting to recover from the first blast.
"Sam. Are you ok?" Sam nodded briefly.
Amunet approached O'Neill, stroking under his chin and around his neck with the zat.
"Come, husband, stand before your new queen." O'Neill rose to face her and she continued to stroke his face with the zat while running her hand slowly down his clothing to his crotch. She grabbed him softly, teasing and rubbing him. "Can Amunet stir the lust that you feel for this host?" She flirted. O'Neill tried to remain impassive but he could not help his body's reaction to her touch. It was both a pain and a pleasure, the zat teasing him threateningly at one end and the hand seductively at the other.
Teal'c could see that all this pained MajorCarter a good deal. She was finding it hard to mask her sympathy for O'Neill, and for her alternative self. At the same time he could see a look of hatred directed towards her double. She did not like that this would hurt the Colonel, no matter that it was not the Colonel from their own reality.
Amunet broke her gaze into O'Neill's eyes and turned them on Sam. Seeing her discomfort she smiled. "Oh yes, this is going to be fun. What a wonderful wedding gift my Lord has given me."
Turning her attention back to O'Neill she reached her hand up to his face and leaned to kiss him gently on the lips. Sam could see a silent tear fall from one of his eyes. This was probably worse torture for him than any physical pain might be, and Amunet knew it. She smiled her triumph.
"You will be my pet. I can play with you when my husband is not in need of me." A small laugh escaped her lips and O'Neill cringed at the sound; it was so like his wife's laugh, yet unlike it. It was like a hollow impersonation; a laugh with no hint of the mirth that could fill Sam's laughter.
"Go to hell!" O'Neill spat at her.
"Oh, my love, but I'll have you begging for me, pleading for me to touch and pet you."
"Never." Said O'Neill, defiantly.
Amunet took his face in her hands and kissed him again. This time she forced his mouth open and her tongue inside. O'Neill was finding it hard to resist her. This was his wife. He was still mourning her, but here she was. She kissed him like Sam would, and he responded. Pulling back from him, an evil grin crossed her face.
"You will give me much pleasure. Maybe I should ask my husband for a symbiote for you."
O'Neill shuddered at that concept. A snake? It was his worst nightmare, apart from the one he was already living in. He knew his wife was still inside this body somewhere, imprisoned, totally controlled and helpless. The pain that gave him was worse than anything he had felt up until now. He would rather die than have that happen to him; would rather kill his wife than have her suffer this. Was she watching these events without the means to do anything to stop them? That would be pure hell.
Once more she stroked his face and neck with the zat, her other hand seducing him, caressing his body, then his manhood. O'Neill gasped and moaned, unable to control the reaction of his body to her touch. She continued her ministrations while Sam and the others looked on in horror. Having taken him so far she withdrew the hand and slapped him hard around his face, the hand device cutting a gouge in his cheek. He reeled from the shock but remained standing, still defiant.
"I will control you, husband of my host. You will obey my whim." She said.
He said nothing. Despite the desire she had caused to rage through his body, he could not allow himself to submit. Amunet saw something in his eyes that she didn't like and, as punishment, she hit it hard where she had caressed seductively only moments before. He doubled over with the pain, falling to his knees. Sam made to move towards him but Amunet raised her zat towards her once more.
"That would not be wise." She said, and Sam desisted in frustration.
She was revolted by the actions she had just witnessed, appalled that her counterpart tortured O'Neill in this most hurtful way. As O'Neill tried to get up, in obvious agony, she could see tears in his eyes once again. She suspected it was not just as a result of having been hit so hard in his most sensitive areas and her heart bled for him.
"I told you that you would obey me, beg me and be mine to do with as I wish. I will win, O'Neill." Said Amunet as he was rising. To emphasise her point she lifted her hand and zapped O'Neill with her hand device, sending him flying towards the wall. Sam made a move to get up and go to him, acting on instinct.
"I told you not to move." Amunet struck Sam with the hand device, but not with the same force. She was reaching into Sam's inner being, zapping her brain of its strength. Sam cried out from the pain. O'Neill, trying to recover in the corner, begged Amunet to stop.
"Please don't. I'll do anything."
"I find it amusing that you care about this double of me. I will keep you both as pets and you can each watch the other as I play with you. Now tell me where your leaders have gone; the co-ordinates. Now!" She held her hand up ready to strike at Sam again. "She will not be able to take much more as she dies painfully." She sneered again.
"I'll do anything but that." O'Neill replied, resigning himself to the inevitable. They were all going to die here. Rather them than reveal the Beta site.
"Very well." About to strike she was interrupted as a Jaffa ran into the room.
"Kree no'tan re'no'kea." He indicated towards a monitor.
On the monitor a blip on the radar was moving in fast to their location. Amunet raised her hand again towards Sam, determined to do more damage, and disappeared. Neat trick, thought the surprised O'Neill. The Jaffa looked around in shock and when the gate opened, they ran downstairs to beat a hasty retreat through it. Apophis' ship moved off rapidly, shaking the whole mountain.
.
"Ok, I'm guessing..." Started O'Neill.
"Asgard!" Sam interrupted, jubilantly.
"Alright!" Jack smiled. His emotions were fighting within him. He wanted to laugh; they had won and Apophis had left. He wanted to cry; his wife was alive but she was a Goa'uld and Apophis' bride. He had no idea where she had gone.
"It appears DoctorJackson was successful." Teal'c said, at which moment Daniel appeared before them.
"Hey, I brought the cavalry, the Asgard." He said jubilantly.
"We guessed that."
Daniel was so overjoyed that the plan had worked that he had only just noticed the mixture of happiness and sadness displayed on the faces before him. O'Neill slumped into a chair not knowing what to do next.
"What did I miss?" Asked Daniel of Sam.
"It's a long story Daniel," Sam started to explain. "I don't know how to say this, it's pretty weird." Daniel looked at her curiously. "Amunet has taken my body as a host in this reality. I am Apophis' new bride."
Daniel was stunned, but she had other concerns. Turning to O'Neill, almost feeling his anguish and pain, she walked over and knelt by him, taking his hand. She could see the mixed emotions in his face and tears pricked her own eyes.
"Jack? I'm so sorry."
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and whispering all the time how sorry she felt. He held her tightly, no longer able to hold back his tears, his emotions overwhelming him.
"It's not your fault Sam." He whispered back to her, his voice cracked with the strain, "none of this is your fault."
The others felt embarrassed to witness this intimacy between them and discretely left the room.
Chapter 4:
At the AU SGC:
O’Neill and Sam silently comforted each other with their embrace for quite some time. Eventually they both brought themselves back to reality and Sam started to tell O’Neill some of the things that might help him find and help his wife.
She explained the best she could about the Tok’ra, her father, the relationship with the hosts. He looked disgusted until she mentioned that they had the technology to separate a Goa’uld from its host, and his interest peaked. She wrote down the co-ordinates of the last planet they knew about where Tok’ra were located. O’Neill’s breath caught in his throat.
"I guess there is going to be one hell of a lot to do before any more missions are authorised. Earth is half destroyed our infrastructure and leaders mostly gone. It’s going to be chaos and anarchy and we will to have to bring some order to that. I doubt I’ll be seeing my wife any time soon."
"I wish there was something I could do." She responded, feeling inadequate as she could not help this man she had come to admire and feel close to in such a short space of time.
They rounded up the rest of the team, going to the storeroom and finally finding the right reality at the other end. Their Colonel looked anxious waiting on the other side and signalled for them to come home.
"You could stay. Help us." O’Neill said hopefully to Sam. He could no longer disentangle the feelings he had for his own wife and this woman before him.
"I can’t stay here any more than you could stay in our reality. I will get cascade trauma, sooner rather than later as your Sam is still alive." O’Neill nodded mutely. "Jack. I can never be a substitute for her. You know that." He nodded again.
"Then kiss me before you go. Hold me." It was her turn to nod mutely. She indicated for the others to leave, and they said their farewells to O’Neill. They could see their own Jack’s impatience to find out what had happened, and whether his team was alright.
O’Neill took hold of Sam and kissed her for the second time. It simultaneously felt both good and wrong to her. A peculiar feeling. She wondered how it would feel to kiss the Jack of her own reality in this way and shook the thought away.
As he pulled back he said, "I’ll find her… one day. I’ll save her."
Sam sadly thought about Daniel and his situation. They still had not found the Amunet of their reality; still had not saved her as he wished. It would probably be a long time before O’Neill could even hope to start looking for his wife. His assessment of the situation was right. There were more important things to do than gate travel; the world still needed saving. They had said nothing of Daniel’s dilemma to O’Neill. What was the point? It was no help and might only make him feel worse.
"Good luck Jack." She whispered, and leaned to kiss his cheek. "I’ll think about you."
As she backed away he saluted with a ghost of a smile and a glint in his eyes, which made Sam shiver with desire. Holy Hannah! She thought at she looked at him for the final time, and then she walked to the mirror, touching it and returning to her own reality without a second glance. She didn’t dare look back.
Once the mirror reflected only him again and O’Neill was left alone once more, he shed a tear for the loss of both Sams.
********************
The Real SGC:
Jack swallowed hard as he watched through the glass. O’Neill was taking hold of Carter and kissing her again. The bastard! As he watched he thought how tight they seemed. They looked pretty good together too. His stomach flipped violently.
When Carter came through to his side she looked flushed and he wondered whether it was passion or embarrassment. He thought he heard her say ‘Please, turn it off’ under her breath and knew she was referring to the mirror; that she couldn’t bring herself to look at the other O’Neill again. What had happened between them while together in that other reality? He wished he’d been there.
"You and my double got on well I see." Said Jack sarcastically, trying to conceal the sharp sting he felt at her words and the expression on her face. Sam thought she detected a hint of jealousy then dismissed it as her imagination. The Colonel was just in a grumpy mood.
"Not what you think, Sir."
"And what exactly do I think Carter?"
"I don’t really know, Colonel. I… I… I’d better get to the infirmary for my post mission check-up." She said. Flustered, she avoided.
"Yes, Carter." The Colonel’s voice was slightly cold, making her shudder. "Debriefing at 16:00."
"Sir." Feeling extremely uncomfortable, she left the room as quickly as possible.
Jack had wanted to ask if she was okay, and what had happened on the mission, but the clinch and kiss he’d witnessed had sent his mind back into turmoil. Goddammit! He cursed under his breath.
His team had been given a clean bill of health and sat in their usual places in the briefing room. When Carter gave her report, Jack quickly realised that the mission certainly hadn’t been a cake walk. Some not very nice things had happened. He paled when she reported, almost tonelessly, that her double had been alive and become Amunet.
Remaining outwardly impassive, the good soldier that he was, Jack was thinking about the other O’Neill. What a rotten reality his poor alternative self had, helping clear up the mess, keeping order in the midst of chaos, and all the while helpless to save his own wife. Sam must be fairly shaken up by it all. He wondered how she felt knowing that her duplicate was a Goa’uld, pretty weird he imagined. He tried to put himself in the place of O’Neill and didn’t like what he saw.
Jack’s mind turned once more to what he’d seen in the infirmary, and though the mirror. How did she feel about the other O’Neill? How did she feel about him? In Daniel’s alternate reality O’Neill and Doctor Samantha Carter had been engaged and in this one they had been married. What was this telling him, that they were meant be together? If so, there was a minor obstacle called AFI 36-2909. It clearly stated what constituted a professional and unprofessional relationship. In this reality she was Major Samantha Carter of the US Air Force, and he was her CO. That anything unprofessional happen between them was a strict no-no. It wasn’t as if he could deny knowledge. He was an old pro and they all got reminded about it on an annual basis.
O’Neill had said she was worth it. Jack suspected that he might be right but wasn’t sure what to do about it. Probably nothing. He couldn’t humiliate himself by admitting to what were almost certainly unrequited feelings. For starters she could have him up for harassment. That didn’t bother him so much as what rejection could do to future relations in his team. The big risk was that it could spell the end to SG-1. If he was honest he knew at heart that, for him, the principal gamble was what a rebuff would do to his ego. He wasn’t big on self esteem lately.
When the report had finished he knew for sure she had left some things out. Teal’c and Daniel did not add anything that she might have wanted to hide. He was curious about what she had missed out and why? For whose benefit?
What Sam had missed out was most of what her alternative self had done with O’Neill. She was embarrassed by it as if it was her fault. Illogical, she knew, but who was she, Mr Spock? Teal’c and Daniel said nothing, which was a relief; although she had expected that they would back up her omission. She couldn’t see that it was of vital importance to the report. It wasn’t as if it was going to help them save the universe. She wondered what the Colonel would make of it.
After the debriefing she avoided the rest of the team by going straight home. Jack asked both Teal’c and Daniel if there was more to the mission than she had said but they deftly evaded the question, leaving him even more curious. He was surprised that she had left the base so quickly and resolved to talk to her in the morning.
***************
Jack caught up with her having breakfast next morning. Daniel and Teal’c were nowhere to be seen. They exchanged pleasantries and sat eating in silence, until Jack broke it.
"So, Carter, are you going to tell me what you missed out of the debriefing?"
"Sir?"
"10 out of 10 for the Little Miss Innocence look, Carter, but you aren’t foolin’ your old CO here."
Perhaps he should have left the word ‘old’ word out of that sentence he thought, belatedly. So not a good thing to be pointing that out to her. As if she didn’t already know that. What the hell did it matter anyway? There was nothing between them; only the team and a little friendship. He was trying hard to turn himself away from non regulation thoughts, but failing. What had happened to his self control?
"I’d rather not think about it when I’m eating Sir."
He was silent and watched her finish breakfast. When she was done, and excused herself, he picked up his coffee and followed.
"Ok Major, your lab or my office." Sam knew he wasn’t going to let her get away with her silence.
"My lab, Sir?" He nodded acquiescence. At least she would be on home turf.
********************
"She was touching my genitals, is that what you are trying to say, Carter?"
"Actually, they were his genitals, Sir." Her face was reddening.
"What’s his is mine, Carter." As soon as he said it he realised what he had said and went a little pink himself. The Sam of that reality had been O’Neill’s, this one was not his. Carter didn’t seem to notice and he breathed more easily. She was probably still hung up on referring to his genitals.
Exquisite torture! Jack thought, knowing it was dumb and foolish. He would have been mortified at such a thing, and no doubt his counterpart had been too. He couldn’t think of much that was more hurtful and humiliating than what had happened to his double on the other side. This had been his own wife; offering death on the one hand and seduction on the other. Pain and pleasure. Jeez, the freakin’ snake heads are sick bastards!
"You are somehow blaming yourself for this Carter. I’m still trying to work out why?"
"She was me, Sir."
"No. She was Amunet. She wasn’t you." He was surprised to see Sam’s eyes glisten with unshed tears.
"Carter, you can’t let this get to you. Tell me… is there anything else?"
"It was a lot more than just a touch. I…she got him… a little… aroused I think. She was taunting him. Telling him she would make him beg for her and do her bidding." The red of her face was deepening; she so did not want to be telling her CO all of this. Jack was thinking ‘poor schmuck’. "Then she slapped him around the face, cut it open with her hand device, and then hit him hard in his… his…" O’Neill nodded to indicate he knew exactly where she meant. Carter was grossly self-conscious, he could see that, and visibly upset. "Then she zapped him with her hand device. He was pretty beat up. I think she was about to kill me when the Asgard came. Good timing." She laughed hollowly.
"I’m sorry." Jack said simply. "Sorry I had to make you tell me that."
He felt ashamed of himself for making her do it, but he had needed to know. He wondered what had happened after that, imagining Sam rushing to comfort O’Neill. Jack didn’t know how close he was to the truth and wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.
"Poor Jack was so… demeaned… upset by it."
"You called him Jack?"
He felt that pull at his heart. This was stupid. He was jealous that Carter could be more informal with his other self? He berated himself for being so illogical, but it didn’t work. What the hell was happening to him?
"Yes sir. Sorry. I’ve fallen into bad habits."
"You could call me Jack." He saw the look of surprise in her eyes. "Well, you know, when we’re not soldiering."
A quirky smile lit his face and Sam giggled. When she returned the smile his heart melted all over his ribcage. He was pleased that he had made her laugh but, Goddammit, he was losing control. Again, his mental rebuke did not help him. The appearance of the other O’Neill had forced his suppressed feelings for Sam to the surface; he had been a volcano, waiting to explode, and now he wanted to stem the tide of molten rock that seemed to be heading his way, ready to consume him. Oh boy!
"Yes sir. But I shouldn’t." She replied.
Although Jack felt a brief surge of disappointment he knew she was right. Once they trod on that path, who knew where it might lead?
"No." He agreed.
Sam thought she detected disappointment, but shrugged it off. No way! She missed the intimacy that she had established with the other O’Neill over the previous few days. Trying to distance him from her while on the mission had not worked. He hadn’t been her CO and that made it different. That he had been married to her counterpart may also have had something to do with it. Now she was finding it hard to adjust to the more formal relationship she had with this O’Neill.
"Hey, it’s been snowing since you’ve been away." Jack changed the subject to something safe. The weather, go figure!
"Yeah? It wasn’t in the other reality."
"How about we get the guys and go up top for a snowball fight. Teal’c should be introduced to an age old Tauri tradition, don’t you think?" He was grinning wickedly, thinking this might warm all of their hearts. His excuse to himself was team building, or re-building. He pondered how much of all this Daniel and Teal’c had witnessed. They too must be feeling sickened by it. They all needed to let off steam. A snowball fight would be perfect. He loved snowball fights.
"That could be fun Sir."
"You sure I can pull you away from your doohickeys." He smirked at her and she responded with another heart melting smile. Crap! Thought O’Neill.
So the four of them went to the top of the mountain and found a deserted place where the SFs couldn’t see and report them for having gone nuts. It took a while for Teal’c to get into it, but once he did he was a demon. Their noses were red with the cold, and their eyes were bright. Sam was laughing hysterically at having just got O’Neill for the 10th time, whereas he had only got her 6. So he was after his 2IC with a vengeance. Daniel gave up the fight temporarily, sitting on a boulder out of breath.
"Daniel," O’Neill said, "You’re a wimp, you know that? Can’t even put up with a few snowballs? Allergic to snow are we?" He tittered.
While he was distracted Sam and Teal’c took advantage and both went for him.
"Hey! That’s not fair you guys. You’re ganging up on me."
"Then I will withdraw and make way for a superior foe, O’Neill." Said Teal’c, bowing to Carter and sitting next to Daniel.
"You’re gonna leave me to her tender mercies? So not fair."
Even from this distance Jack could see an evil glint in Carter’s eyes. She was forming the biggest snowball ever and hit O’Neill squarely on the chest with it.
"Bulls-eye, Carter!" He shouted. "I’m so gonna get you for that!"
She hastily hid amongst the trees calling, "If you can find me Colonel!"
Having run a fair way from where the others were sitting, she stopped and started amassing a small armoury of snowballs. She was enjoying herself; hadn’t had so much fun in a long time. That just proved to her that her life was normally pretty tedious and lacking in fun. What life? She asked herself. Go get a life Sam.
O’Neill had an advantage. He was a sneaky son of a bitch who had special ops training. He managed to locate and work his way around behind Carter with a stealth that took her totally by surprise. The next thing she knew she had been grabbed and a snowball jammed down the back of her neck.
"Gotchya, Carter!" Jack was gleeful.
"Aw! Colonel, that’s cold! Ugh! And wet!" protested Sam, turning to push the one in her hand right into his face. His eyes gleamed, and he laughed, backing away.
"Come and get me, Major."
As she pursued him, she tripped on a tree root and went crashing down into the snow.
"Ow!" Jack turned at her cry, running over to her.
"Are you ok, Carter?" He asked, crouching down to her.
"Yes Sir." He stood, holding out his hand towards her.
"Up you go then, Major."
He pulled too hard as he helped her and she fell into him, so he grabbed her arms to balance her again. Then he paused, looking into her eyes for a few moments. He felt such a longing to pull her closer into an embrace. Abruptly he let her go. His laughter had disappeared, his face serious.
"Um, I think we should go find the others." He said, uncomfortable with his feelings.
"What’s wrong Sir?" Sam asked earnestly.
"Wrong? Nothing’s wrong."
"Colonel? Have I done something to annoy you?" She was crestfallen.
He sighed. Is that how it looked to her? Reaching a hand towards her face, he traced his finger lightly over her cheekbone, making her shiver. A slight noise escaped her lips and, as he remembered himself and removed his hand again, she spoke.
"Oh! I… I didn’t… know." She had turned red with embarrassment yet again. Both were shaken by the obvious revelation; she that he felt it; he that he’d shown it.
"Well, now you do." His voice was quiet, shaking, and he stepped away from her, shuffling his feet like a schoolboy. "I didn’t mean… I didn’t… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve embarrassed you."
"No!" she cried, than laughing awkwardly, "yes."
He still stood there, looking at her, not sure how to react now he had expressed something of his feelings for her. He hadn’t meant to, it had just happened. It was only a small thing, but it was enough, and he was now the self-conscious one.
Sam’s heart was racing. What the heck had just happened? She was trying to process it, rationalise it, never having expected any such thing. She’s had no idea that he harboured secret feelings about her and was stunned, and flattered. It wasn’t until the other O’Neill had arrived that she had started to consciously formulate how she felt her CO. Had he acted as a catalyst to both of them?
Jack was still trying to gauge her reaction. At least she hadn’t laughed in his face and told him that he had got to be kidding. His heart thumped heavily, just as hers did. However, he took her silence and shocked expression to mean the same thing and broke eye contact, looking down at his feet.
"Um, I’d better go back and gather up the boys." He tried to be jocular but thought his voice sounded hollow. Ashamed, he started to walk away.
"No!" Sam cried again. She was missing a chance here. Did she have the courage to grasp the nettle? She felt shaky, her nerves trying to defeat her, but pulled herself together. "Jack?" She called, and he stopped, turning back to face her again. That had caught his attention.
"Sam?"
He replied like for like. His heart had skipped a beat when he heard his name on her lips and he held his breath as she approached him. He looked vulnerable. She had seen the look before and had wanted to reach her hand to his face and caress it softly in response. Sam acted on instinct, not thought, and reached up her hand to smooth his cheek. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into her touch. She grasped his hand, lightly caressing the back of it with her thumb. Jack exhaled and took a deep breath.
"I don’t mind, if that’s what you’re thinking." She whispered.
"Oh?" He moved closer to her then put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down slightly to kiss her forehead. "Good… that’s good… I think."
She could tell he was nervous and this surprised her. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him, as he had been longing to do all day.
"Sam?" He whispered, "if this is because you felt something for the other O’Neill…"
He wanted to say he couldn’t bear that, but didn’t have the guts. He had never thought himself as someone lacking in guts before now and it made him realise how deep his feelings for Sam really were. He held his breath, waiting for a response. Sam was considering how to answer him, taken aback by his lack of self confidence. He could be a little too cocky sometimes but he was far from that right now. She pulled back and looked into his eyes.
"No Jack. Don’t think that. It was him that made me realise how I feel about you."
She felt him let out the breath that he had been holding. His lips brushed hers, experimentally, and she opened her mouth slightly and closed her eyes, anticipating the kiss. Grinning inwardly, he plunged on, holding the back of her head with his hand. It was the real O’Neill doing this, she thought, not his double. It felt great, better than the other O’Neill, but was getting intense and she was unsure where it was going to lead. He was her CO! The thought jolted her.
"Jack! I… we…" Abruptly she pulled away from him. "What do we do?"
"I don’t know." He shrugged, his confusion clearly showing in his eyes. "What do you want to do?"
"I don’t know."
"Maybe we need to think about it?" he asked.
"Maybe." She replied, not really wanting to think about it. If she thought about it she might let her head overrule her heart and she wasn’t sure she wanted to do that.
They needed to relieve the tension. She ran to her pile of snowballs, picking one up and throwing it squarely in his face.
"Sam!" he cried, laughing, and reached down to pick up some snow of his own.
"You know what I like about you?" He asked, fighting back.
"No Jack." She hit him once more, this time on the chest.
"Me neither." He managed to say though his chuckling.
"Oh, very droll, Sir." She replied, hitting him yet again.
Jack kept missing her as she dodged his ammunition. He chose to ignore her use of the word ‘sir’, not wanting to face the implication. It might have been a slip of the tongue. He hoped so. Carter had a habit of over thinking things. If she over thought this situation he’d be losing more than just a snowball fight. Distracted, he felt one of her snowballs hit him on the back. How had she got around him so quickly? He was definitely losing this game.
"You’re really hard on a man’s ego, Carter."
She giggled, making a decision. "Take me to dinner, and I’ll fix that."
/The End/
Story Notes: Category: AU, Drama, Romance
Spoilers: Torment of Tantalus, There But For The Grace of God, Enigma, Tok'ra Part 1, Learning Curve - and really gigantic ones for Point of View.
1. A special mention should go to Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright, who wrote the original script for 'Point of View'. I have borrowed from the transcript in some parts of this fic, manipulating the words, and the characters who speak them, to suit my own purpose in a few places.
2. My thanks to the SG1-Transcripts Yahoo Group for the transcript.
3. Special thanks to Jodi Marie for the wonderful photo manipulations she did especially for this fan fic and the collages she made from them. I feel honoured that she agreed to use her talents to illustrate this fic. The illustrated version of this fic can be found on my site at:
http://www.ficwithfins.com/su%20fics/Ship/PoV/front_cover.htm
Believe you me, it is worth looking!
4. And last but not least, of course, thanks to my wonderful beta Bonnie for all her hard work on my fic and very helpful suggestions
Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website: http://www.ficwithfins.com/
Copyright © 2004 Su Freund
Spoilers: Torment of Tantalus, There But For The Grace of God, Enigma, Tok'ra Part 1, Learning Curve - and really gigantic ones for Point of View.
1. A special mention should go to Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright, who wrote the original script for 'Point of View'. I have borrowed from the transcript in some parts of this fic, manipulating the words, and the characters who speak them, to suit my own purpose in a few places.
2. My thanks to the SG1-Transcripts Yahoo Group for the transcript.
3. Special thanks to Jodi Marie for the wonderful photo manipulations she did especially for this fan fic and the collages she made from them. I feel honoured that she agreed to use her talents to illustrate this fic. The illustrated version of this fic can be found on my site at:
http://www.ficwithfins.com/su%20fics/Ship/PoV/front_cover.htm
Believe you me, it is worth looking!
4. And last but not least, of course, thanks to my wonderful beta Bonnie for all her hard work on my fic and very helpful suggestions
Email: su_freund@ficwithfins.com
Website: http://www.ficwithfins.com/
Copyright © 2004 Su Freund
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]