~^ Baby in the morning My friend’s already calling…~^
"Hello?"
I picked up the phone in one hand and ruffled my wet hair with my other as I lifted the receiver.
"Sam! Finally! I thought you’d never pick up!"
"Sorry Janet! I was washing my hair!"
"Great! You’re going so?"
Here we go again.
~^ Heading for a party They’re just getting started…~^
"Actually, I always wash my hair at this time." I informed her.
"Sam…" She said in a warning tone.
"Janet! You know I’m no good at parties!" I protested.
"Aw, Sam! We’re *all* going! You don’t want to be the odd one out again do you?"
"‘Again’?"
"You know what I mean. Always putting reactors over people. Besides, didn’t I hear the Colonel ‘ordered’ you to get a life?!"
I could just see the smirk on her face.
"He wouldn’t like it if you disobeyed him again, would he?!"
"‘Again’, again?"
"I’ll be over in thirty minutes."
"Janet-"
"And don’t even think about running away again!"
"What is with you and the word ‘again’ today?! Janet? Janet…"
She’d hung up. Damn doctor.
Well, it looked as if I didn’t have a choice this time. Not that there ever was one, really. I was just too shy to be out with all the guys, with Janet as the only other female I knew well enough to talk to. I hummed to myself, and went to turn the radio up louder.
~^ Wouldn’t miss it for a moment…~^
I smiled. Yeah right. I’d do almost anything to get out of this. I’m way too shy for my own good sometimes. There were always too many strange guys there, always asking for a dance. And apart from the fact that I can’t dance…
~^ My heart’s already stolen…~^
I smiled and sighed at the same time, remembering back to that awful day.
I mean, *obviously* he was good looking, and I knew I liked him, but…
Sometimes I just wish it had been different…
~^ Heard he’s gonna be there To miss it wouldn’t be fair No no no no no!…~^
Well I guess that was true. I *knew* he was going to be there, and seeing as he sort of cornered me into going, it wouldn’t be fair on him. I *had* to go.
~^ When a woman loves her man She’ll catch him any way she can…~^
The radio knows I’m lying. So I switch it off. And glare at it.
Halfway through glare…
"Sam?!"
"What?! Janet! Don’t scare me like that again!" I take a deep breath and sit down in a chair.
"Sorry!" She grinned apologetically. "The door was open. I took the liberty."
She walked over to the dressing table and flipped the switch on the radio.
~^ I’m telling you I got a nicer plan…~^
"Oh Ja-net!" I groaned.
"What?"
I sighed.
"Never mind."
"You feeling alright?" She asked, hands on hips.
"Yeah, I’m fine."
Sceptical look supplied by doctor. I sigh again.
"*No* temperature, *no* dizziness, *no* fever. *Okay*?"
She grinned.
"Good. Because you’re not gonna believe what I found."
She reached into the purple carrier bag she had brought with her, and pulled out a blue...
"Oh my God! Where did you get that?!"
I jumped up and swiped the dress out of her hands. As I waltzed up to the mirror, I saw her sit down with a satisfied smile on her face. She had planned this.
"Kents. You can pay me later."
The dress was long and silky, with bits of gold sewn onto the arms neck and hem.
"Try it on!" she urged.
I took it into the bathroom, and dragged off my tee shirt…
What a transformation.
I walked out and swirled it round for Janet.
"Oh my God, Sam…" She stood up and inspected it from every angle. "This dress was *made* for you." She shook her head, smiled, and sat back on the chair. I walked over and looked in the mirror.
~^ I’m gonna get you boy Make you my man…~^
I smirked inwardly. You got it. I’m *shy*, not *innocent*. If this doesn’t make him stare, then nothing will. Suddenly, I remembered something.
"Janet! Uniforms!" I felt like a pricked balloon.
To my surprise, she started to chuckle.
Way to cheer a girl up, Doc.
"I got a call from Sergeant Divilly this morning. Uniforms for the guys, evening dresses for the dolls!"
I stared at her.
"You’re not serious…"
"I swear!" she laughed "I couldn’t believe it either! But don’t you think this is the perfect opportunity to impress a certain guy? Hmm?!"
She was smiling smugly.
I was blushing.
She could see it.
"I don’t what you’re talking about, Janet." I stated, starting to pull the dress off.
"Oh *yes* you do." She stated, pushing the dress back down on me. She pinned my hands to my sides and grinned at me.
"A certain chocolate-eyed, grey haired, so-" she flung her hand up into the air "high… *Colonel*…"
Quick! Stop her!
"Janet-"
"*O’Neill*!!!"
Maybe slightly louder.
"Janet!!! You’re imagining things!!!"
"Oh I don’t think so honey. Remember my first day on base? What was the *first* thing I had to do?"
Oh no. Not this one. *Yell*, Sam.
"Janet!!!"
"Pull you away from *kissing* your CO!!! Then I had to stop him killing Daniel over *you*. Now *don’t* try to tell me there’s nothing between you!!!"
Maybe if I leave her alone she won’t go on.
"Then there’s all those alternate realities, *can’t* forget Doctor *Samantha* *O’Neill*, now can we?"
Time for plan B.
"Shut up Janet."
Oooh. Pow.
"*Then* we have the little ordeal with the *za’tarcs*…"
Do we have a plan C? No? Guess this zat gun will do.
"Shut *up* Janet."
Heh heh heh. Scare the living daylights outta her. Good move Sam.
Though of course, this doesn’t feel quite as much of an achievement when your target breaks down giggling.
*^*^*^*^*^*^
~^ Driving down the highway Prefer to drive the other way, yeah …~^
We *finally* got out of the house, but not until Janet had used *all* my make-up collection, and half of hers (which is *twice* the size of mine) on me. Then she finally settled on what she started with.
The stuff I wear *everyday*.
Cheyenne Mountain is the other way, and I’m so nervous, I *would* prefer to go that way. I had to stay nice and still with my mouth shut while Janet plastered me like a canvas. And all she spoke about was the Colonel.
Apparently he doesn’t ever dance, despite the fact that half the females present ask him to.
*That* made my blood boil. He’s *mine*, and that was one of the reasons I was going tonight.
The other was…
Hang on, I know this one…
Oh.
That was the *only* reason I was going tonight.
~^ Playing on the airwaves…~^
"Not again!" I groaned. Janet stared at me like I grown another head.
I looked at her for a minute before gesturing wildly to the radio, and quickly covering my face.
"*That* song. It’s *always* on. I’m cursed with it!"
"Ah. Significant meaning." She listened for a moment, then started to hum along with it.
It took a minute for me to register what she had said.
"What?! What’s that supposed to mean?" I queried.
"Nothing." She grinned at the lines on the road, not looking at me.
I glared at her, but once again my vicious attack is punctured by my victim laughing.
~^ As we’re making our way We pull up to a red light Check the mirror for the last time…~^
Janet flicked down the visor and gave herself a full facial once over. I watched for a minute, then followed suit.
"Are you sure I look alright?" I ask worriedly, smoothing my lipstick. Janet frowned at me for a moment, then leaned over.
"Close your eyes."
Oh my God. I’d smudged the mascara. It’d never come off in time now.
"Nope! You’re fine!" She sat back in the seat, and took off with a screech of rubber, much to the relief of the driver behind us.
"You’re sure?" I asked, doubtfully.
"You doubt me?"
Yes.
"No."
"Good."
Glad you’re happy. How can she stay so calm? Best make some idle chatter. Maybe I’ll get to know a few of her girlfriends. I need more friends.
"So… Who’s waiting there for you?"
I do believe she blushed!
"What?!"
Aha. Now we got her. They’re not *just* girls.
"Spit it out Fraiser. Who is he?"
This is fun! I know now why she pestered me so much about the Colonel!
"It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t know him."
Probably true. But no matter.
"Maybe I do. But I’m not going anywhere until you tell me."
"Fine. He’s Shane Byrne. Happy?"
I stared at her, gobsmacked.
"Shane *Byrne*?!" I squeaked.
"Mm-hm." She nodded. When I didn’t answer, she turned to me, then did a double take.
"No. Oh no. *Don’t* tell me you know him."
I grinned evilly.
"Okay."
"Sam!!! You can’t!"
Problem.
"But I *do*. Ha!"
I was shaking with laughter. Oh boy, this *was* fun!
"How?!"
"He’s my cousin!"
Ha ha ha!!!
"Sam!!!"
She doesn’t believe me.
"He *is*, Janet. Believe it."
What’s so wrong with me knowing him?
"Do you know what?"
"No. What?"
She looked over at me, and grinned slightly.
"He’s also a cousin of someone else we know…"
I don’t like enigmatic.
"Who?"
She grins wider.
"Someone-"
"*Who* Janet?!"
For Gods sake woman, *tell me*!!!
"Jack!"
NO!!!
"*What*?!"
"He’s Jack’s third cousin four times removed, or something. Don’t ask me, ask Daniel. He’s the anthropologist. What’s so bad about that anyway? At least you have something in common now. Actually, you did before as well, didn’t you?…"
She’s grinning like a chesire cat. So I go along with Plan A5. Ignore her. Besides…
~^I know I’m looking just fine And I feel alright Cause I know I’m gonna party tonight Yeah baby…~^
That’s true. I’m getting excited. A lot more excited than I’ve been in a *long* time. I’m actually looking forward to it, for once, which is a nice change.
~^When a woman loves her man She’ll catch him any way she can I’m telling you I got a nicer plan…~^
We’re almost there, and Janet starts looking for a place to park.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
She wedges in between a shiny BMW and a jeep.
"Promise me one thing."
Uh-oh. Promises are bad.
"What?"
Good. Be wary. This is an evil manipulative woman we’re negotiating with.
Was that me or Jollinar?
"Have *fun*."
"Okay. What’s the promise?"
"That’s it!" she states, as she climbs out carefully.
‘That’s *it*’?! ‘Have fun’?! No problem, doc! I can have fun! Can’t I?…
Laugh.
Yes, very good. Now she won’t know whether you said yes or no, and you won’t feel bad if you run away again.
Again.
Stop it.
*********
We walked in the front door and into the foyer. There were crowds of people everywhere. I knew some faces from Cheyenne Mountain, but there were way more I had never seen before in my life.
I didn’t have to know them all, did I?
No. Of course not.
I’m glad I agree with myself. The Colonel would be happy.
"Sam! Come on! You’ve gotta meet some people!"
Janet grabs my arm and hauls me off toward the big double doors at the back. She lets go of me just before we reach them, straightens her dress, smiles, and heads over to a *large* group of people.
Uh-oh.
"Hi guys! Meet Major Doctor Sam Carter, my friend. Sam, meet Elaine, Michael, Jenny, Patrick, Kathryn, Charlie, Claire, Gerard, Sorcha, Mark, Mary, Darren and Shane. My friends."
Smile and nod, Sam. Smile and nod.
What are their names again?
Uh-oh.
My words for today. Uh-oh and again.
Having a nice conversation with yourself, Sam?
Yes, very nice thank you.
Good.
"Uh, hi!"
"Sam?"
"Hi Shane. Long time, no see!"
"You took the words outta my mouth! You know, you’re the second person I’ve met tonight that’s related to me! Small world, isn’t it?"
"Sure is."
Don’t look at the chesire cat. She’s evil and manipulative, remember? She’s probably grinning her snout off at you now.
"Janet, hun? The guys and myself just wanna go check the game results and grab a beer? You gals be alright?"
She nods and smiles shyly at him. And that’s *just* the way to get my cousin to give you… a big ol’ kiss.
The guys walked off, and the girls watched them.
Then they turn and face me.
Uh-oh.
No! Don’t look at the Major! She’s a bad conversation starter! Go away!
Fine then. Gather around me in a group and fire questions at me.
"You’re a Major?"
"Do you work with Janet?"
"Where do you work?"
"Where did you get that dress! It’s fabulous!"
"Yeah! Where? It really suits you!"
"And I *love* your eyeshadow! What is it?"
"Where’s your date? Has he come yet?"
Uh… aren’t you guys gonna keep talking? Please? Janet!!!
"Girls? Have I got news for you!"
Thank you Janet. But that sounds sort of ominous. Cause I think I see where this is going. Especially since you’re gathering them in a huddle and leaving me out.
"She *has* a man, but he’s not her date. *Yet*…"
They all giggle and look at me.
I glare. Suddenly I feel brave.
"Don’t even *think* about it, Janet."
That’s the stuff, Sam.
"And we need just a little help *getting* him for her…"
"Janet! Who is he?!"
They get all excited.
"Well… You know Shane?"
"Yeah."
"And you know what he said about rela-"
"Oh my *God*!!!"
"I don’t believe it!!!"
Girls, please. Quieten down. People are staring.
"JACK!!!"
Very good. All together. Are you in a choir? And Janet?
What the *hell* did you tell them for?!?!
Mary – or is it Sorcha? – walks up to me and takes my hands.
"But don’t you know he’s impossible to get?"
"Yeah. He *never* chats up the girls." Says Jenny. Then again, it could be Claire.
"He has a woman. He *has* to. It’s the only explanation." Was that Kathryn?
"That’s right, because *all* the singles try their *best* to get him, but they never do." Says Elaine sadly. I *know* that was Elaine.
"Ah, but girls…"
Look out ladies. She’s up to something.
"I know who that lady *is*…"
You do? Who? Tell me! Quick! Ah… not that I’d *hurt* her or anything…
"*Who*?!?! Come on Janet! Tell us!!!"
No everyone. I’m not with them. What would I be doing with a bunch of schoolgirls?
And Janet? Where did you dig these guys up?
"Well-"
"Janet, I’ll hurt you if you don’t tell me."
Go Elaine!
The cat smirks wickedly.
"I work with him, as you know-"
"Yeah yeah. In a top-secret military base. *We know*! Now *who is she*?!?!"
"Well… She works with him too…"
Huh? Now who could that be? There’s only like, twenty females in the whole mountain, including myself.
Well, whoever she is is dead when I get back.
"She’s a good friend of mine…"
…Leave it hanging, why don’t ya…
"And her name is…"
Why are they all holding their breath?
Why am I?
"Ssss…"
Sssssay Sssssara, and you issssss dead, my friend.
"Ssssam Carter!!!"
Sam honey, you’re a dead woman.
Wait…
Sam *Carter*???
That’s…
Oh yeah. That’s me.
Uh… *yeah*. Your eyes are lovely ladies. Now can you please turn them away from me?
"*Oh* *my* *God*…"
Or you can just jump on me again.
**********
I don’t believe it.
I just don’t believe it.
That damn singer is *here*.
Along with her damn song.
But for once, I don’t mind.
~^ I’m gonna get you boy Make you my man…~^
And that’s right. I don’t feel so shy anymore. I’ve got loads of friends, and the guys are eyeing me up well.
That makes a woman feel good.
Now if only I could find *him*…
~^Walking through the party With all my girls behind me, yeah…~^
We entered through the big double doors, and into the most magnificent room ever. It was at least three stories high, ending in a domed ceiling. It was covered in gold and cream and there was light coming from everywhere. There were men and women everywhere and the dance floor was a dazzle of swirling dresses.
~^Suddenly I saw him My heart it started jumping…~^
I think I’m gonna die.
He looks *so* damn gorgeous and sexy.
I can hear the girls behind me breath in sharply, and see that they’ve come to the same conclusion.
Oh my God.
Is it possible…
Is he…
Is he walking towards *me*?…
I can hear giggles behind me, and once again, see they’ve reached the same verdict as myself.
Oh my God.
He is.
"Hi Sam. Ladies."
He nods to the giggling group of girls behind me.
"Hi Jack! What brings you over here?"
Shut up Elaine. You’re too forward for your own good.
You *know* what I mean…
*Glare*, Sam. *Glare*…
"A whole bunch of good looking ladies… how could I resist?"
They giggle again and he smiles at me.
Children theses days, huh Colonel?
"Nice dress, Major."
What do I say? Help Janet!!!
Fine then. Don’t.
"Uh… Thanks. Nice… tie…"
Woohoo. That *sure* to impress him.
"Thanks. It came with the uniform."
Oh yeah. Should have remembered that.
What do I say?! My mind’s gone blank!
Colonel … Would you *please* work on controlling that damn cute grin?
"Of course." I reply weakly.
"So… What are you up to?"
"We’re just waiting for our dates to come back from the bar. They’re gone to check up on the score."
"Oh."
Colonel? You alright?
"So… Sam… First time to *the* party?"
"Uh… pretty much."
"How’d you find your way?"
He turns up the corner of his mouth. I’ll take it that statement was sarcastic.
Duh, Sam.
"Actually, Janet drove me."
I know you Colonel. You’re up to something.
"Doc?! How’d you manage that without a guy at the wheel?"
Chauvinistic pig.
Oh.
He was being *sarcastic*.
"Actually, Shane is out there at the bar. All our dates are!" She grins wickedly.
He raises his eyebrows.
"I’ll take it you’re all with the regulars?"
They nod and giggle again.
"How about you Carter?"
Huh?
"Me what, sir?"
"Sir?" Says Elaine, stepping forward.
Neither of us says anything. Everyone else goes quiet. Aye.
"I’m her Commanding officer."
Gee thanks Elaine. I was trying to forget that.
"So Sam… Who’s the lucky guy?"
Okay… You’re not perturbed, are you sir?
"Actually, Sam’s here on her own." Supplies Janet.
"Really?"
You’re actually *surprised*, sir?
"Yeah." I confirm.
"Well in that case… Would you care to dance?"
If I wasn’t at such a loss for breath, I’d have copied the others and taken *a lot* in sharp.
Me?
Colonel O’Neill is asking *me* to *dance*?
I couldn’t dance if my life depended on it.
"I’ll warn you, I couldn’t dance if my life depended on it, so if you take me up on that, watch out." He takes the words out of my head.
What do I say?
To any mind readers out there, don’t *ever* get your head and heart into an argument.
Head says NO.
Heart says YES.
Which one controls my legs?
The heart, obviously.
~^Then he led me to the dance floor…~^
It was the best feeling in the world. My hands were in his, and we were both laughing. The music was good, and I was having the time of my life. We danced all night and the singer didn’t disappoint anyone - though I wouldn’t have noticed anyway…
I spent the whole time dancing with him. A few other guys came over to me, but before they came too close, he appeared out of no where and whisked me off again.
I was having the time of my life.
************
Just as the night was coming to a close, the requests for *that* song topped all others, so the poor girl had to get back up and give it one more blast.
"Sam? One more before you go?"
He walked up to me with *that* hopeful look on his face.
How could I refuse?
"Sure sir!"
He took my hands again and we walked out onto the floor.
At first we danced fast, as with all the others, but as it went on, we began to slow down.
I couldn’t help myself.
I looked into his eyes.
He was looking right back.
The smile slowly faded from his face, and mine…
~^Then he held me closely…~^
He drew me towards him and held me tight around the waist. We never lost eye contact. I could hardly breath. And it wasn’t because of his arm.
~^Then he whispered softly…~^
He bent down and brushed my hair away from my ear…
~^‘Will you be my one and only My only girl’…~^
Close enough.
"Kiss me Sam."
He leaned back and looked at me for permission.
I didn’t need to be asked twice.
I put my arm around his neck and drew him down to me.
I was wrong before.
*This* is the best feeling in the world.
***********
As we sit here in the car, looking down over the city, I think back to that night.
It was the most wonderful party I was ever at.
"Do you remember that night?"
"What night?"
Jack looks down at me as I curl up closer, and smiles.
"The night we first kissed!"
He looks back at the city and smiles.
"How could I forget?"
"Weren’t you worried at all?"
"Worried? Why?"
"That maybe I wouldn’t respond?"
"If I remember correctly, *I* was the one who *responded*."
I chuckle to myself and smile at the twinkling lights below.
"I knew you wouldn’t kill me anyway."
"How’d you know that?"
This guy was getting too smart for his own good.
"*That* wasn’t the first time we kissed."
"It wasn’t?… Oh. No, it wasn’t. But *that* was different."
I feel my cheeks reddening as I remember how I tried to seduce him in the locker room.
"No not that time."
Not that time?
Oh yeah.
"Alternate realities don’t count. They weren’t us."
"No, not them either."
Not them?
"When then? I can’t remember any others."
"No, you can’t, can you."
What’s he up to?
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you remember when we *finally* got out of those time loops?"
"How could I forget?!"
He smiles.
"And Daniel asked me if I ever ‘did anything crazy’?"
"Yeah. You were eating oatmeal."
He allows himself a moment to laugh.
"Well, just before loop number one billion and three ended, I resigned."
"Resigned? What for?"
"To do this."
And he promptly demonstrates.
~^When a woman loves her man She’ll catch him any way she can I’m telling you I got a nicer plan I’m gonna get you boy Make you my man…~^
FIN
Story Notes: E-MAIL: dittomaster21@hotmail.com
SPOLIERS: The Other Side, Every episode of the Tellytubbies , Divide and Conquer, The Broca Divide, In the Line of Duty, Point of View, Window of Opportunity
SEASON/SEQUEL: none
STATUS: complete
ARCHIVE: SJ and Heliopolis
FEEDBACK: If you don’t mind!
AUTHORS NOTES: I just love this song, and always had this idea in my head, so I finally decided to do something about it! ~^ Indicates song.
SPOLIERS: The Other Side, Every episode of the Tellytubbies , Divide and Conquer, The Broca Divide, In the Line of Duty, Point of View, Window of Opportunity
SEASON/SEQUEL: none
STATUS: complete
ARCHIVE: SJ and Heliopolis
FEEDBACK: If you don’t mind!
AUTHORS NOTES: I just love this song, and always had this idea in my head, so I finally decided to do something about it! ~^ Indicates song.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]