His right hand stuffed deep into the pocket of his BDU trousers, COL Jack O'Neill swiped his seldom-used SGC badge through the encrypted lock with his left, waiting as the sealed blast door slid open. Pursing his lips, he stepped inside, his eyes taking in the average surroundings: concrete walls, concrete floors, stainless steel medical hardware, metal carts with casters, a Tok'ra mind-reading device. All in all, it was normal -- at least for Stargate Command. Slipping the ID badge into his shirt pocket, his left hand resumed standard position. His eyes flickered briefly to the toes of his boots, then back up to the Tok'ra device, his head cocked to one side.
In their travels through the Stargate, the various SG teams had encountered dangerous devices, mechanical and biological alike. More than once, the entire command had been in danger of total extinction because of them as a matter of fact. The teams had survived zat fire, staff-weapon fire, even the withering blast of a Goa'uld hand-held device; they had been saved -- albeit inadvertently -- by Thor's Hammer, and healed by a Goa'uld sarcophagus. But this device was by far the most dangerous COL O'Neill had encountered. *This* device had the power to destroy the protective walls he had built around his heart.
//... because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to.//
Jack's hand dropped to rest atop the odd, curved arm as his own words came flooding back to him. His eyes drifted to the focal point of the machine, the orange-hued, eye-shaped stone from which the analysis beam had emerged from. //A lot more than I'm supposed to.// He gave a snort of sarcastic laughter. //A hell of a lot more than I'm supposed to, that's what I *should* have said.// He recalled looking into Sam's wide blue eyes, the same eyes that had silently admitted to him what her own heart had been feeling as she stood, ready to die, behind a Goa'uld force field.
//We didn't know we were lying,// she had said. He shook his head. //No, Sam, we didn't know.// His mind drifted back to that moment on P3X757 once again. Her eyes, begging pleading him to go...the footsteps drawing closer...
~~~
"Sir, just go!"
"No!" he roared, shooting back to his full height. He was inches from Carter, yet it seemed like miles, separated by the force field. His brow furrowed as he stared down into her eyes. Then he saw it. Her blue eyes, glassy with unshed tears, pleading with him to go...and then it all changed. He didn't see Major Sam Carter standing before him, begging him to leave; instead he saw Samantha Carter, standing on the other side of that force field, facing a bleak fate...and begging him to save himself. Not for duty, not for country, but because she loved him.
Jack swallowed. //What the hell...? Oh, God, Sam...Me?// The color in his face drained, his mind whirling in a thousand different directions. His eyes flitted over her shoulder. Serpent guards. Two of them. He looked back to Sam. Her head tilted slightly to the side, the desperation in her eyes warming to something he wasn't willing to name. "No," he tried, his lips moving but not finding a voice. //You can't...not when I...// He stood there a moment, staring down into her eyes. //Not when I feel the same way.//
~~~
Blinking, Jack pulled himself back to the present. He had been prepared to die to save her, then and now. Neither time was he able to bear the thought of living without her; it just wasn't an option. He was the older, more experienced officer. He had lived his life: he'd raised hell as a teenager; married, had a son; had a career he could be proud of. But Sam...*his* Sam...had so much more to offer, so much more to do before leaving this existence. Her sharp mind, her insatiable curiousity, her gentle care for children; she deserved happiness -- she deserved someone who could give it to her. As her commanding officer, that just wasn't possible... was it?
MAJ Samantha Carter walked down the corridor, following the blue line which had been painted on the cold concrete floor. Her hands stuffed into the pockets of her BDUs, her troubled blue eyes holding their gaze just before her feet, watching the floor before her as she ate up the distances in long strides; her blonde hair bounced with each step, her bangs stirring with the speed of her pace.
//So, you're not a Goa'uld assassin,// she thought. //Big deal. In getting out of that, you've really opened a can of worms this time, Carter.// She frowned. //A *big* can of worms.// She allowed her mind to drift back to the mission.
~~~
She watched him desperately pound at the control panel, finally breaking it open. The footsteps were getting closer, and the timer on the C-4 was ticking. "Sir, just *go*!"
Suddenly, Jack was standing right before her, their faces inches apart, the force field between them. "No!" he shouted. His brow furrowed as he looked down into her eyes.
//Please, Jack...go,// her eyes begged, mirroring her thoughts. //Can't you see? I don't want to watch you die...// She watched as realization settled into his dark brown eyes, his furrowed brows shadowing the mixture of surprise and desperation she recognized. He glanced over her shoulder, then back at her. She tilted her head to the side. //I love you,// she thought.
As she watched, the color in Jack's face drained, his lips moving, but no voice emerging. He swallowed. For a long moment, they stood there in silence, her eyes holding his. In that instant she saw her own feelings mirrored in the dark brown eyes of her commanding officer.
~~~
Rounding the corner, she stopped in midstride. Her troubled mind had drawn her back to the lab, but she was not alone. COL O'Neill stood in the center of the room, his hand propped on top of the Tok'ra device. She cleared her throat. "Sorry, sir, I didn't know --"
O'Neill gave a start, turning to her. "No, Carter, it's all right," he said. He shook his head. "I was just..." He waved two fingers from his right hand, gesturing at large to the room. //You were just...what?// his inner voice shot back. He found his real voice was lost.
"Looking around," Sam finished for him. She stepped into the room, bringing her hands behind her back, clasping them together. "Yeah, I...wanted to look around, too." She crossed to stand beside him, her eyes locked on the device. An uneasy moment of silence fell over them.
"Jeez, Carter, what the hell are we doing?"
Sam blinked. "Sir?"
"We're on the same *team.* We work together. We can't walk on eggshells around here; it just won't work like that," Jack pointed out. He sighed. "We may have *left* it here, but it followed us out, Sam."
At that, Carter swallowed. //Sam? He never...// "But regulations..." she started, but lost her voice. How, when this man stirred her mind, her heart, could she tell herself no? She gave her own sigh. "Maybe we can't work around it, sir. Maybe I should transfer."
"No!" Jack said. His voice emerged a lot more determined and a lot louder than he intended. He grimaced, wishing he hadn't sounded so...emphatic. //Casual, stupid. You're supposed to have this in check, right?// "Carter, I don't want to lose you as my second in command." He paused a beat, watching her as she turned, taking a few steps away. "I don't want to lose you."
//Oh, why did you have to say that?// Sam could feel her resolve crumbling. A lump rose in her throat. "And I don't want to lose you." She turned to him.
Jack stood there, his body tensed. Her eyes...she was so vulnerable. //You did this, Jack,// he thought. His logical mind and his heart continued their battle for control, neither willing to lose any ground. His eyes caressed the gentle lines of her face, the way her longer blonde hair framed her face, the slope of her nose, the slight puff of her lips. A blink and it was over. "Ah, hell..." Charging forward, he crossed the room in two wide strides, clasping her head between his hands, his lips pressing firmly against hers. There could be no questions how he felt now.
Sam blinked, suddenly feeling his warm lips on hers, his hands gently but firmly framing her face. Allowing him to kiss her, she fought her own battle, willing herself not to react. It was as though she were on the outside looking in as her hands came to rest against his cheeks; her heart skipped the proverbial beat as her lips parted and the kiss deepened, pulling her whole mind and body into the moment. //Oh, God, Jack...// her mind whispered.
Pulling back, Jack's hands remained against her face, his fingers tangling into her hair. His brown eyes searched hers, wrinkling at the corners. //What did I just do?// "Sorry," he whispered.
"Don't be," she whispered back. Her eyes flitted to the doorway, finding the outside hall empty. She looked back to O'Neill. "We can't leave this in here." There was a finality to her voice. Her heart and mind had battled, and her heart had won.
"No, we can't."
"So...where does that leave us...Jack?"
O'Neill's dark eyes softened. "It's a whole new ballgame." He leant down and kissed her gently on the lips.
**************
The End.
Story Notes: ramseysg11@springmail.com
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack; Heliopolis; my own page (in construction); anyone else, please ask.
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer
Also, this one is hot off the presses. No beta readers. Just wanted to get it out!
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack; Heliopolis; my own page (in construction); anyone else, please ask.
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer
Also, this one is hot off the presses. No beta readers. Just wanted to get it out!
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]