Time
"Time here all but means nothing
Just shadows that move across the wall
They keep me company, but they don't ask of me
The don't say nothing at all"
- 'Time', Sarah McLachlan.
=*=
If only his mind was as frozen as the rest of him. Maybe then his condition would be bearable.
As it was, the hours dragged on and the days and nights seemed to elope into one long stretch of time.
Shadows danced from wall to wall, hiding God-knew-what from his vision.
Thoughts of the creatures that might be lurking in them kept him from resting.
Thoughts in general kept him from resting.
He was beginning to forget.
Who he was, what he was, how he'd come to be here.
Who they were, where they were, whether they'd come back one day.
That was the worst thing: forgetting them.
Starting to forget what they meant to him, what he meant to them. Starting to doubt whether they would ever return.
'They' were just faces to him now. Faces and feelings his mind associated with them.
Names were a distant memory of a past long forgotten.
The dark one would keep them together, he knew. The one who part of his mind said was evil, the part that made him forget. He knew, though, somehow, that the dark one could be trusted, could be counted on. The dark one was loyal to them now, whoever they were. The dark one wouldn't betray them to the people half of his mind said were the enemy.
The half of his mind that wasn't his.
How he'd come to be in the position he was in was almost a complete mystery but somehow he knew that some of the knowledge in his mind, some of the thoughts he was having didn't belong to him.
Not originally.
There was so much going on inside his head; it was hard to keep track of it all.
The dark one, he reminded himself, he'd make sure they made it back safely. The dark one would protect the other two and die to save them.
Die to save him.
Whoever he was.
The other man, the light haired one, he would find an answer. He didn't know how he knew but the light haired man stuck out in his mind as being the one with the knowledge, the one who had understood him in his present state.
Well, the state before his present state. When he wasn't trapped inside whatever he was trapped in.
The light haired man wouldn't rest until the answers had been found. The light haired man wouldn't give up. Somehow, he knew the light haired man had lost too many people to the people that were their enemy and knew nothing would stop the light haired man from giving up.
Not this time.
The woman would make sure of it, too.
He remembered her a little bit better than the others, possibly because she was the last face he'd seen up close.
He remembered her.
Her lips had moved and she had shed a tear.
A tear for him?
He wanted desperately to know what the words had been, to hear them for himself because he knew that they were important. He somehow knew he'd been waiting to hear them for a long time.
The wait was going to on for a little bit longer. Maybe forever. He didn't know anymore.
The woman, though, she wouldn't give up either. She was their leader, the one who would make them keep going even if - God forbid - they wanted to stop. She wouldn't give up on him, she wouldn't leave him behind.
They didn't leave their people behind and he was one of them.
Wasn't he?
He didn't know anymore.
Part of him was but part of him was something else. Part of him pretended to know nothing and part of him seemed to know everything.
It was very confusing.
It was very cold.
How long he'd been there he couldn't tell. He just knew he'd been waiting.
Was still waiting.
They would come back for him; he knew they would.
What about the other they? The ones his other half knew?
Would they be back?
He wasn't sure but he thought they were gone, thought they'd disappeared a long time ago. He didn't know where they'd gone but suspected they wouldn't be coming back.
Unfortunately, he was pretty sure it was the other 'them' who could help him.
The only ones who could help him.
He trusted the dark one, the light haired man and the woman but he knew whatever had happened to him was beyond their grasp. They hadn't seen anything like it before, didn't know how to help him.
The others did. The others like him but different.
The ones who didn't belong to the same 'them' as the woman and her two male companions.
Sometimes he lost hope, then he remembered the promise in the woman's eyes when she said goodbye. Or he assumed it was goodbye, it was hard to know when you couldn't hear what was being said, let alone understand it.
Sometimes he wondered if he could save himself, if he could break himself out of the prison he was in.
It would help, though, if he could move.
He couldn't do anything but watch through eyes that were alive although the rest of him was dead.
Wait and hope and try to remember.
Try not to forget.
=*=
Fini
Story Notes: Spoilers/Season: 7/8 gap-filler, 'Lost City part 2' Sequel to 'My Immortal'.
Category: Post-ep/Missing Scene: The Lost City pt 2, Angst, Thoughts, S/J UST.
My Immortal can be found here: http://randomramblings.faithweb.com/fanfiction/immortal.htm
Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
Category: Post-ep/Missing Scene: The Lost City pt 2, Angst, Thoughts, S/J UST.
My Immortal can be found here: http://randomramblings.faithweb.com/fanfiction/immortal.htm
Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
End Notes: There *may* be another two ficlets in this mini-series. mailto:Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]