Without You by Meg

[Report This]
- Text Size +

Story Notes: Season/Sequel info: Set Late in the fourth season. There may be a sequel to this.

Spoilers: Divide and Conquer, Beneath the Surface, Entity, I think that's it...

Author's notes: This was written at about midnight one night. So, if it doesn't make sense, or something like that. That's why. :-) This was just a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone. If you think there should be a sequel to this then tell me so! Send feedback! A big thanks to Bec and Megan for beta'ing this for me!

I've just been lying here in my quarters thinking. You know what? I'm starting to think that I shouldn't do stuff like that. Especially let my mind wonder to certain areas that I always try to avoid. At the moment I've been thinking about everything we've all been through and Colonel O'Neill, well, mostly him. I'm thinking about what it would be like if I were with him, if we were together.

Ever since that whole Zatarc thing I've been thinking about him a lot. I know I shouldn't, and I know that I'm the one that said we should leave 'it' in the room. It hasn't stayed there though. 'It' keeps coming back. It's almost like it's haunting me, reminding me what I can't have.

He said he cared about me. Of course I had to do the same thing too. As if that was enough. Then we go to this planet, and get our memories erased. Back there Jona and Thera had some great times together. We were happy together there, no regs, no saving the world, just us. I can't forget what it felt like to be with him, even though it was only for a little amount of time. Then... we remembered... everything. We had to go back to Major and Colonel.

Then I think about the 'Entity'. They invaded the base, then went into me. It was a truly odd feeling. I remember everything that was happening, but I couldn't do anything. That thing had control over my body. I remember the look on Jack's... the Colonel's face through, almost, the whole thing. He looked so... lost, hopeless. It was such a difference from the tough, strong, sarcastic Colonel that I've always known. The worst part was when he had to kill me. Well, it wasn't actually me, it was the Entity. I was in the computers, another weird feeling. While I was in the infirmary he visited every day. I know he was feeling back about what he did. I told him not to worry, what he did was right. I could tell that it didn't make him feel much better.

It has been a few weeks since then. Things have gone back to normal. We still have all that tension whenever we're around each other. Janet says I should just forget about the regs. I should follow my heart. Sometimes I want to agree with her. I really do. We *have* to do something about this. It's getting to be too much.

I should go talk to him. We are mature, responsible adults. We can work something out. I don't know if I really trust myself alone in a room with that man though. Maybe we'll decide to wait until we can be together, or maybe we'll just say 'screw the regs'. I think we just need to do *something*. I don't think I can put up with this in-between stuff for much longer.

I stand then, and move to the door. I'm going to go decide my future. I walk around the halls looking for him. He's not in his office. I make it to his quarters. I knock at the door. No answer. He must have gone home already. I am not going to go all the way to his house just because I want to talk. Maybe it is a good thing that he's not here. What was I thinking anyway? I can't do this. Not now.

Maybe I should head home too now. I'll just go home and try to forget about Jack. I'll go to that big, empty house and try not to think of this. Sometime I wish that someone was at my home, waiting for me. He'd come to the door and great me. We would have a perfect little life together. Of course in my mind that man would always be Jack. Now here I am thinking about him again. I have to stop that.

I go out to get in my car and go home. I know no one's going to be there. It's going to be empty, like always. I'll just take a shower, and go to sleep. Then I'll get up the next morning ready to face another day at the SGC. I guess I'll just have to accept the way things are for right now.

The End.... maybe

**********

End Notes: Tell me what ya think. Send me feedback. Please?

Bye bye

Meg

Table of Contents | Reviews - 0 |

[Report This]

You must login (register) to review.