samandjack.net

Story Notes: This is my first real attempt at fanfic, so any comments are more than welcome. Lots of thanks to Sapphire for encouraging me, and even coming over to my place this weekend, basically forcing me to write this damn thing. I think sometimes she wanted to chain me to the keyboard.
I’m not a natural / native english speaker, so please forgive any strange usage of words or grammar. Any mistakes that my beta’s Sapphire & Chris didn’t catch are purely mine, and mine alone... J Thanks guys!
"/" indicates thoughts.


Captain Samantha Carter rested her head on the railing at the side of the hospital bed. It had been five days since she and Colonel Jack O’Neill had been rescued from the icy grave at the site of the second Stargate on earth, located in the Antarctic. Since Jack was still in critical condition, and the doctors hadn’t declared him fit for transportation yet, they were still on McMurdo Airbase.

She thought about the last days and how close she and the Colonel had come to dying.

On their way home from P4A771 the Stargate had malfunctioned. Dr. Daniel Jackson and Teal’c had arrived safely at the Cheyenne Mountain Complex, although Daniel had suffered a mild concussion when the wormhole had thrown them out violently. But Samantha and the Colonel, who were right behind the others didn’t make it home. Instead they were spat out in a small underground cavern, inside a huge glacier. Jack had suffered a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, as they had come through the gateway too fast, although he didn’t mention that particular injury at first. Most military men seemed to think that as long as they didn’t lose consciousness, or their injuries didn’t stop them from doing whatever they were doing, as if such a "small" injury wasn’t worth mentioning... So he had ignored the pain and helped her uncover the Dial-Home-Device from the ice of hundreds of years.

But all their efforts had been wasted energy because the DHD wouldn’t work. Sam tried to dial Earth’s address a hundred times without success. Later on they found out why: Sam and Jack had found the second Stargate on Earth. And just like someone couldn’t call his own phone-number without getting a "busy-signal" one couldn’t travel from one Gate to another, when both Gates were located on the same planet.

That discovery had nearly cost half of the SG-1 team their lives...

Samantha shivered. She didn’t want to think about how close she had come to dying. Doctor Fraiser had told her it would be a few days until she felt completely comfortable and warm again after the hypothermia they had suffered. Jack had nearly died. And she blamed herself. Why hadn’t she tried another combination on the gate ?. A combination to a planet other than Earth? If she only had thought about that, instead of desperately trying to fix the DHD for over 12 hours at a time. She had racked her brain to think of some reason, any reason why the gate wouldn’t work, but she hadn’t thought about the one obvious thing she could’ve tried. To dial another number...

The whole time they spent there, Jack had been the one totally confident that either they would be rescued or Sam would find a way to get them home. But she had been so scared. Scared to death that she would die there on this godforsaken ice planet without ever seeing her family ever again. If it hadn’t been for Jack’s faith that they would not die here and that they would find a way home, she would have given up a lot sooner.

Now it seemed that Jack had given up. For the last five days Colonel Jack O’Neill had been in a coma. Although the doctors had said that in cases like this a coma wasn’t unusual, even helpful for recovery, she thought that Jack should have awakened by now. Now she was determined to sit here and watch over him as long a it took. She wouldn’t leave him alone. Not again.

/I didn’t want to leave him there/ she thought.

/Jack ordered me to. He wanted me to get to the surface and find a way out./ Only she hadn’t been able to. They had been surrounded by ice and snow as far as she could see. There was no way to any kind of civilization, no chance for a rescue. So she returned to the cavern to find Jack unconscious and barely alive. At that moment she had known that this was the end. With Jack already near death because of his internal injuries and herself exhausted from the cold and the lack of food, she knew that it would not take very long. So she had laid down next to him, to share the last little bit of body heat that they had left. She didn’t want him to die alone and she didn’t want to die alone either.

When she had crawled under the thermal blanket next to Jack, he had stirred and his last words had been of his wife Sarah and being cold. She had tried to soothe him by telling him "I’m here, Jack. It’s alright, you can sleep now" and holding him close when he lost consciousness again. She soon passed out from exhaustion, too.

Her memory of what had happened after that was a little blurry. When she slowly came to again, they were still in the icy cavern, but she could hear General Hammond giving orders to the rescue team. He had assured her that they would be fine and they would be taking good care of Jack. She fell asleep again shortly thereafter.

The next time she had awoken, she had been in the infirmary of McMurdo Airbase. In the hospital bed next to her was Colonel O’Neill. His skin was nearly as pale as the hospital sheets he was lying on. There were a lot of medical apparatus and monitors attached to him and he was intubated to help him breathe, since his lungs had been damaged by his broken ribs.

When she had seen him lying there looking so vulnerable and white as death, she had started to cry. Blaming herself for not getting him to any medical help sooner. If he had died, she would never have been able to forgive herself. It was her responsibility to take care of him when he was too injured to take of himself. And she had failed in that responsibility.

General Hammond had entered the small hospital room shortly thereafter, and explained the whole story to her. She still couldn’t quite believe it, but her scientific mind started racing, thinking of the consequences and possibilities of a second Stargate on Earth and trying to explain the cause of the malfunction of the Stargate.

But right now she didn’t want to think about Stargates and wormholes and all the sciences behind it. She wanted to think about Jack O’Neill. She wanted him to wake up. She wanted to hell him how sorry she was that she had disappointed him. She had failed. She had failed him, because she had lost hope. /God help us, if he has lost hope, too. Because then we’re all doomed./

With a sigh she dropped her head back into her hands, resting it on the railing of the bed.

"Please, Jack. Wake up."



*******



Cold...

He was cold. /But not as cold as.../ And then he remembered. He remembered the Stargate malfunctioning, the ice cavern, his broken leg and ribs, the DHD that wouldn’t work and he remembered giving himself up to death.

With a gasp he tried to take a deep breath. But he couldn’t. There was something in his throat restricting his breathing. He began to struggle, trying desperately to get in more air.



********



Samantha Carter’s head shot up when she first felt Jack beginning to stir.

"Jack? Can you hear me? Jack, it’s me, Sam. Everything’s alright, you’re going to be fine. Jack? Colonel O’Neill, please stay calm." She took his hands to keep him from ripping out any IV’s as he tried to get his hands to his face, instinctively wanting to remove any objects that kept him from breathing.

"Jack, please. There’s a tube in your throat to help you breathe. Please calm down and try not to take too deep breaths. I’ll try to get a doctor to remove the tube, but first, please, you have to calm down!" She had trouble holding his hands from thrashing around. Jack still had a lot of strength, even in his weakened condition.

But finally her voice must have gotten through to him, and he stopped struggling and slowly opened his eyes.

Samantha gently let go of his hands, but still kept her hand on his arm, so that Jack could feel her touch.

"Jack? Please don’t try to speak. I’ll get a doctor right away. If you can understand me, please blink."

Jack blinked.

"Okay, that’s great. Now don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back." and like a whirlwind she was out of the door to grab the nearest nurse or doctor she could find.

A very short time later she came back with a doctor, Daniel Jackson, Teal’c and General Hammond in tow. Sam immediately went back to Jack’s side and took his right hand in her own, while the doctor checked Jack’s IV and the monitors. He smiled reassuringly and took Jack’s other hand.

"Hi. I’m Doctor Peter McPearson, the surgeon on our little Airbase. Welcome to McMurdo, Antarctica." He paused when a very confused Colonel O’Neill looked up to Sam. She could very well imagine what he would’ve said, had his voice not been restrained by the tube in his throat. /What the hell is going on here, and why are we in the Antarctic. For crying out loud, would someone please say something!/ She smiled at that thought.

Realizing that Sam wasn’t going to say anything yet, Dr. McPearson continued.

"I’m now going to take out the tube. I want you to take a deep breath and then breathe out while I pull it out, okay?" Jack nodded.

While Jack breathed out and the doctor pulled out the tube, Sam kept her eyes locked with Jack’s, trying to show him the confidence she didn’t feel. Finally free from the tube, Jack tried to speak, but no sound came out, and he started to cough.

"Here, drink this. But slowly...!" The doctor handed him a plastic cup with a straw, which contained some water.

After a few sips, which resulted in another coughing fit, Jack tried to clear his throat and speak again, but he could only whisper.

"What happened? Where are we?" When everyone started to speak at once, Jack held up his hands, indicating them to shut up.

"Wait, wait! Not everyone at once, for crying out loud." he croaked. He gently squeezed Sam’s hand, and looked up to her, concern written all over his face.

"Sam, are you alright? How did we make it back?"

She smiled back at him.

"Yeah, I’m ok. I was more worried about you. And about your second question, well, it’s a long story."

And with the help of their friends she told him the whole story, after the doctor had left. The Stargate Project was still top secret to the rest of the world, after all.

Jack fell asleep sometime during Sam’s and Daniel’s attempts to explain why scientifically two gates on one planet couldn’t work. He had never cared much about physics anyway.

With a yawn Carter realized how tired she was herself. She hadn’t slept much in the last few days, and when she finally had fallen asleep, she soon had been wakened by nightmares of herself and Jack dying surrounded by snow and ice.

General Hammond had noticed her yawn.

"Come on, people. Let’s get Captain Carter here some sleep, so that we all can fly back to the SGC by tomorrow morning. Doctor McPearson has declared Colonel O’Neill fit for travelling. I’m sure you all agree with me that we would like to get home as soon as possible." Turning to Samantha he said "Get some rest, Captain, you both deserve it." He shoved a reluctant Daniel and Teal’c out and closed the door behind him.

With a sigh, Sam sat down on her bed. She reached over to Jack and gave his hand a soft squeeze, then settled back onto her bed and drew the blankets around her. She was asleep almost the second her head hit the pillow. And this time, there were no nightmares.



********



When she awoke the next morning, Jack was already up. Well, not really up and walking, but propped up in his bed to a more or less sitting position. He looked much better than the day before. His skin had definitely more color and didn’t have this disturbing resemblance to a white bed sheet. Some time when she must have still been asleep, the nurses had removed all the machines and monitors around him.

"Rise and shine, Captain"

Sam groaned in her pillow. "Good morning to you, too, Colonel" came the muffled reply. "How can you be so cheerful at... what time is it anyway?... in the morning."

Colonel O’Neill laughed. His voice was still a little rough, but to Sam’s ears it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard.

"Well, I have been prodded with needles and a number of other medical instruments by doctors and nurses all morning. What choice did I have other than staying awake. And since I didn’t want to overdo our welcome here by being grouchy, I decided to be cheerful. We are alive, after all. And if that’s not an opportunity to be cheerful, I don’t know what else is. I hope you don’t mind, do you?"

"Uh, no, Sir. Not at all" Sam tried to think of something to say. "Uhm, Colonel?" she paused, insecure how to approach the subject. When she didn’t continue after a few seconds, Jack looked at her with interest, encouraging her to speak what was on her mind.

"Come on, Captain, out with it. I won’t bite" It seemed like he knew that she wanted to tell him something important.

"I... uh... I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I failed you, Sir. If Daniel hadn’t figured this whole thing out, we would’ve died here, and would’ve been my fault..." She couldn’t hold his gaze any longer, so she looked down at her hands. When Jack didn’t answer for a long time, she slowly raised her eyes again, afraid of the expression she might find on his face. Surprisingly he smiled at her.

"Captain... Sam, there’s nothing you have to blame yourself for. You did everything you could. And most importantly, you didn’t lose hope. Although, if I remember correctly, I had to convince you of that at first." He held out his hand to her and hesitantly she took it. "I admire you for your strength in this whole situation. You took care of me and my injuries. You found the DHD and did most of the work of uncovering it from the ice. You didn’t give up trying to repair the damn thing!"

"But I left you alone to die there! I never should have gone!"

"Sam, I ordered you to go. It would have been our only chance, if there had been some kind of civilization nearby. It’s not your fault that we were surrounded by ice and glaciers. And although my memory is kinda blurry, I do know, that you came back to me." His last words were barely above a whisper.

In that moment Sam knew, that he was thinking of his wife Sarah. And she realized, that he still loved her.

"I know, Jack. And I understand. Thanks." She smiled back at him, feeling like a heavy weight had just been lifted off her chest.

Sam let go of Jacks’ hand when the door to their hospital room opened and Dr. Daniel Jackson strolled in. The anthropologist looked rested and cheerful and was all but bouncing on his feet as he stepped closer to the two beds.

"Hey, good morning. The General told me to inform you, that we will be leaving in about an hour to fly back home. Although I wouldn’t mind spending a few more days here to take a closer look at the gate. On the other hand, I’m glad to get out of the cold." And with that he sneezed into a handkerchief he had quickly pulled out of one of his pockets.

When Jack cast a concerned look at him, he smiled. "Allergies, I think. I hope I haven’t caught a cold. I wouldn’t be surprised though..."

Satisfied, although a little bit surprised, Jack leaned back into his pillows and yawned. He was feeling tired and wanted to catch a little more sleep before the long flight home.

Seeing Jacks’ yawn, Sam got up and motioned to Daniel to follow her. "Come on, I need a cup of coffee to wake up, and then we can talk about this new gate of yours. See you later, Colonel."

Jack nodded and closed his eyes. The last thing he heard, before he fell asleep was Sam and Daniel arguing in the corridor outside about the scientific aspects of Gate travel. Jack smiled proudly and thought /That’s my team. Best team I’ve ever had./



THE END




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