'A Woman Behind Bars ', screenplay by Samantha Carter. Would make a great movie, don't you think? It's not like I haven't been in enough prisons over the past few years. Prisons, cages, jail cells.....and the one memorable night I spent chained to a post in the middle of a medieval village, waiting for a Unas to come and eat me....or whatever it was planning to do. That was fun, I don't think! Then there was the hard labour that Daniel forced us to endure. Thought I'd never get clean after that one. It's the one time I showered with the guys. I wasn't in the mood to wait for them. I didn't peak, I swear....well, maybe just a little. Let me tell you this much, Teal'c's wife is a lucky woman.
Now who gets to be in my movie?
Mr T as Teal'c
James Spader as Daniel Jackson
Sean Connery as Jack O'Neill (old, but damn sexy).....or should that be Harrison Ford ? Hmmmm....tough decision. It could be that guy with the eyepatch, except he has no sense of humour......I know I'm fantasising but it helps to pass the time.
As for me...Michelle Pfiffer? Meg Ryan? Madonna?
I never really considered myself as jailbait before. Although there was a time that Dad was convinced I was turning into Trailer Trash Barbie....... OK, I was a teenager and I was supposed to be a pain in the butt. He was right though, but not in the way he expected. Most astrophysicists get to spend their nice, quiet, boring lives in a lab. Not me. My lab. is usually on a completely different planet. I get shot at, rained on, frozen....beaten, battered and bewildered....and shoved in jail at the first opportunity. What happened to those civilisations that thought we were god's? Now that I could handle.
This time....This time there doesn't seem to be a way out. Jack still has hope, but I think it's a facade he maintains for my benefit. I'm grateful. After all he wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't come back for me. I can't help feeling that this is a strange case of role reversal. I mean he's usually the one that gets himself injured and I have to haul his ass outta the fire. Not this time. Notice I'm using Jack now. Colonel or sir seems a bit formal under the circumstances. He's just been....words fail me. Try sweet, tender and considerate for starters.
They gave me minimal treatment before they dumped us in here. Just set my broken leg, without pain killers, and dressed my knife wound. I guess they didn't want us to die before we stand trial. The wound got kinda messy though and Jack ran out of things he could use as dressings. His shirt has no sleeves and his pants are a little shorter than they should be. Since I'm less than mobile, I have to depend on him alot. Which was a bit embarrassing at first, but I've gotten used to it. I know that I wouldn't have survived the last two weeks without him, especially now that I'm unable to defend myself. No one here would dare lay a finger on me. The first guy that tried found himself with a compound fracture, bruised ribs and a major headache. Jack didn't even break into a sweat. I don't think I ever realised how dangerous he could be. He's been in this situation before, and has some idea of how to deal with the hierarchy. I don't know what he's done or said but they leave us alone.
He found us a place to sleep, makes sure I get food and water.......holds me through the night. It gets cold here. The first time we slept together was a scream. Jack had trouble deciding exactly where he should put his hands. I couldn't stop giggling and he kept apologising to me. Not that he had anything to be sorry for, he was a perfect gentleman.....darn it! Okay, here and now isn't the time or place, but a girl can dream. It's all I have. And I admit, it's nice to wake in the night and feel him close by. He has this really cute habit of.....Enough. I'm obsessing. What the hell? There's not a great deal to recommend this place and sleeping with Jack is probably the only bright point.
Sometimes I cry. I'll admit that but I try not to let Jack see. If he does he pretends not to notice. I'm in pain alot of the time. Jack will never know how much. My leg isn't healing right, and Jack reckons that I may end up with some permanent damage. If we get out of here, Janet may have to break it again. And the knife wound got infected. Luckily, Jack managed to sneak a few antibiotics in with him, but I had a bad time for a few days. I hate feeling so helpless. Jack says that SG9 will be negotiating for our release. If they are I wish they'd hurry up. I'm sure Jack could escape if he really wanted to, but he won't leave me. We argued for a long time about that one. He said that I didn't leave him in Antarctica, so he's not going to go now....and that's an order, Major.
He's sleeping beside me, his head is resting on my shoulder and his arm lies across my waist. I move my hand ever so slightly so I can run my fingers through his hair. He's gotten a few more grey ones over the past weeks. When I met him, his hair was brown. Guess I must have that effect on men. Either that or he used to have a bottle of dye concealed in his quarters.
"That feels good," he says. His voice is sleepy. I don't think he's really awake. If he was he certainly wouldn't let me do this. I snatch my hand back. I didn't mean to, really I didn't. The sudden movement disturbs him and his eyes open. Jack props himself up on his elbow and looks at me.
"We will get out of here," he tells me.
And when we do, I will have to call him Colonel again......and he won't hold me anymore. His words are a way of reminding me who we are. He's trying to be subtle, but it's not like I don't know. Even here we have to obey the regs. He reaches out and wipes something from my face. I hadn't realised that I was crying.
"Shh.....don't cry," he whispers.
I can't seem to control my emotions anymore. It hurts so much. Jack sits up and gathers me into his arms. He doesn't say anything. I know we have to get out of here. We have to get out of here soon or I'm gonna lose it completely. I want to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want a bath. I want......to feel human again. This place is taking away our humanity. I look around me and see nothing but the walls closing in. It's so dark, so cold. Jack's hands move slowly up and down my back, as he tries to comfort me. I don't think he really knows what to do or say. An hysterical Major Carter isn't something he's used to dealing with.
You can only cry for so long. There's only so much moisture your body can produce. Eventually, there's nothing left inside but a quiet empty space. I look up at Jack, ashamed of myself. He gives me a slow, quiet smile and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. His hand drifts to the back of my head and he gently persuades me to rest against his chest once more. I can hear his heart beat; slow and controlled, even in what could be construed as an intimate situation.
"Sleep now," he says and starts to stroke my hair.
I think I feel him kiss the top of my head. It's difficult to say, I'm starting to fall asleep. Just like I think I hear him add the words, 'My love.'
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Its nearly Christmas.
All the lights are on. I stand outside his house trying to work up the courage to walk up to the front door. Or should that be hobble? They tell me the limp isn't very noticeable but I feel it jar every time I take a step. My leg never healed properly. I had corrective surgery, but the improvement to my mobility was minimal.
I failed the fitness test and have now been officially discharged from the airforce. God, I don't know what to do. The military was my life. General Hammond has offered me a civilian post at the SGC, but I don't know if I'll take it. That will depend on the man inside this house. You see I'm not under his command anymore, so....it's legal. If he wants me...if....if he doesn't I'll go. Don't know where.
I haven't seen him for a while. You see, after Janet told me, I went away. I had to get my head together. When your life falls down around your ears it takes some getting used to. He told me to keep in touch but....one week stretched to two....to three, four, and now I'm standing on his doorstep, my finger poised over the bell. I don't know if I can afford to lose another part of my life. Just do it, Samantha. It's not like he'll have forgotten who I am.
The bell rings and I hear footsteps. It's now or.....never....never... What's the worst he can do?
"Can I help you?"
Yep.....that's the worst thing he could have done.
I know the woman. It's Sara. I look downwards. There's a gold band on her left hand. I want to run away...but running is no longer an option for me. Music is drifting through the open door along with the happy sound of voices. The O'Neill's are obviously entertaining. How...nice.
"Can I speak to Colonel O'Neill?" I can't believe I actually managed a coherent sentence.
"Sure," she pushes the door shut. She must be wondering who the hell I am. I can tell that by the fact she doesn't invite me in. Must be interrupting something. Well, too bad. Where is he? Come on, Jack, give me a chance here. The door opens again. Jack's standing there. He looks good....wearing black jeans and a white shirt. A tight white T-shirt. He could have had the decency not to look so......
"Sam!" His face breaks into a smile and he moves towards me. I let him give me a hug. "Come on in. Danny and Teal'c are inside. They'd love to see you."
"No...I just wanted to say goodbye."
That shocks him. I can see the confusion in his eyes. He can't be as confused as I am. I should have known that he still loved her.
"But I thought you were going to stay at the SGC?"
"Jack.....I can't."
He takes my arm and sits me down on the steps. I stretch one leg out in front of me, hoping it won't cramp up.
"Sam, are you really sure about this?" He's obviously concerned about me, which is sweet of him.
I nod, unable to trust myself. He's looking at me with those gorgeous brown eyes and I just want to melt into his arms. There's silence between us. He's not going to talk me out of it. He's not going to say that he wants me to stay. Why should he? He has Sara. He's always had Sara and I was just fooling myself.
"Where will you go?"
"MIT."
That's a lie. I don't know where I'll go, but I have to start now. If I stay much longer, I'll do something I know we'll both regret. Like jump him on the steps! Stand up, Samantha...stand up and limp away. Maybe he'll feel some sympathy and come after me. Neither of us move. We have nothing left to say, but we can't seem to tell each other goodbye.
"Jack?" Sara calls him from the house.
"You'd better....," I tell him and gesture inside.
"Yeah."
He takes my hand and helps me to my feet. I try not to wince as I put my weight on my bad leg.
"Let me know when you find yourself a place and we'll all come visit."
I smile, knowing that I won't keep my promise. Jack bends close and kisses my cheek, "I'll miss you," he tells me.
Yeah, of course you will, Jack. Right up to the moment when you walk back into your house, shut the door and yell, 'Hi honey, I'm back. Did ya miss me?'
"You and Sara have a good Christmas," I tell him.
"Sara?"
Now I'm really confused. She's the one who opened the damn door. Jack gives a sudden grin. One of those rare, genuine smiles that light up his face. "We're not......," then he laughs.
OK, what's the joke? What's the joke....why is Jack kissing me? Who cares? Jack is kissing me! His arms are about me and he's pulling me closer. I accede to his silent request to deepen the kiss and his tongue slides into my mouth. The contact is sending little darts of pleasure straight down my spine. Damn, but this man knows how to kiss. All the passion he represses in everyday life seems to flow into my body. I can't help but react to him, pulling his shirt from his pants so I can rake my fingers down his back. I grin as he moans into my mouth. He didn't expect me to do that, but three years of sexual tension can make you a little wild.
His breathing is ragged when we finally break apart.
"Stay," he pants.
I want to. I really do....... "Jack, I need more."
"Give me ten minutes to get rid of everyone." He starts back into the house.
"No, I didn't mean...," I shout after him.
I start to giggle. This is supposed to be a very dramatic moment in my life and I ruin it by laughing. Jack turns back to me and raises an eyebrow, looking at me as if to question my sanity. He's the one who's going to throw out a housefull of guests just so we can....well.....If the kiss is anything to go by, God knows what we'd do to each other. I doubt we'd get as far as the bedroom. This is all moving too fast. I don't even know what Sara is doing at his house. Speak of the devil, she appears at the door.
He glances at Sara and then back at me, looking like a kid who's got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His shirt is still untucked and he has a trace of lipstick on his mouth. She knows damn well what we've been doing. There is disappointment in her eyes. She takes the ring from her finger and tosses it towards Jack, who catches it in one hand. I'm guessing she was still hoping for a reconciliation. I think I finally understand. Sorry Sara, he's mine now. He has been for a very long time. You gave him Charlie and he loves you for that, he always will, but you can't be together anymore. This man has been to other planets, seen things that you can't possibly begin to comprehend, changed in ways you'll never understand. He's mine......heart, soul and body......and...if I may add......what a body!
My movements are more certain as I reach out to take his hand. He leads me past Sara and into the house. The party will be over soon enough and then we can talk....or whatever. I get the feeling that whatever will come first. He'll hold me close and kiss my scarred body. He'll take the only gift I have left for him. We'll love each other as if it's the first time....and the last.
I don't know how this will end....
Then again....
Who does?
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The End.
Story Notes: SPOILERS: Solitudes, Demons and Need
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]