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Letter one: I'm Sorry.
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3/5/2000
Dear Sam,
Don't screw this up and throw it away, please read what I have to say. I know I don't deserve it, but please hear me out. I've never been good with my feelings so it's kinda good you're avoiding me and not taking my calls - this way I can write what I have to say without any mistakes.
I came over today to see you, but Daniel answered the door. He told me to leave, but I wouldn't. Then Teal'c came along and well, when he told me to leave I did. I wanted to apologize for the hundredth time, I hoped this time you'd hear me out but no such luck.
I can't believe what's happened, Sam, I can't believe what I did. I can't just let you slip away, Sam, I can't. I can't let you close the door on me, on us, on what we have. I can't stop thinking about what I did and with every breath I take, every beat of my heart, I regret it, I wish I hadn't done it. I'm telling you, Sam, if I could turn back the hands of time I would change what I did so I wouldn't hurt you and then, you see, you'd still be mine. I would do anything to change the past, anything to keep you at my side.
I know what I did was wrong, and I admit that now. I don't know why I ever denied what I did. I was trying to pretend that I hadn't done anything. I couldn't admit my mistakes because I didn't want to hurt you. And you put up with so much, so many lies and even when you began to suspect I was lying you never said anything. I like to think it was because you loved me so much, you had enough love for both of us and I betrayed that love with lies.
Now that you know the truth, now that I've realized how much I love you, now I've lost the fear to show you that love, you're gone and I'm alone. Don't get me wrong I'm not apologizing because I'm alone, I'm apologizing because I love you, Sam.
I'm begging you, Sam, take me back, please. I need you in my life and I hate what I've done and the pain I've caused you. I don't know what possessed me to hurt you, Sam, but I do know I'll never do it again. Please, give me a second chance. I know I don't deserve a second chance but our love does - it ended before it began.
I'm sorry, Jack.
XX
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Story Notes: Thanks to V for giving me the idea. Ooh and R Kelly for giving her the idea! And feedback please, it makes me write more :>
End Notes: The End, all feedback welcomed. There are more letters to come :>
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]