The place is dark when I walk in, there are quite a few teenagers milling around, but I like the atmosphere. A new song comes on as I go to find a table in the near darkness, the pulsating of the intro driving me. I sit down and a black clad waiter comes over to take my drink order, I take the plunge and order vodka... no sense being sober tonight.
*I want you the right way
I want you, but I want you to want me too,
Want you to want me baby
Just like I want you*
Is every musician on the planet working against me tonight? Yes! So I'll admit it, I think I already have, but I love Jack O'Neill and yeah I do want him, okay? So leave me alone!
-----
*I'll give you all the love I want in return
But half a love is all I feel, sweet darling
It's too bad, it's just too sad
You don't want me no more
But I'm gonna change your mind
Some way, somehow*
My brain is kinda fuzzy, and I know why, that damn waiter has been bringing me shot after shot of Jack Daniels, I'm starting to see Sam every where, there was a chick that just walked through the door that looked like her. I can't get her out of my mind, she's beautiful and smart, way smarter than me, but I'm okay with that, she's saved my ass so many times I owe her big time. But today she made it more than clear that Za'tarc testing or not she doesn't want or need anything from me. Just once it would be nice to have her wake up in my arms with a happy look on her face instead of the horror and shock of this morning.
------
*I want you the right way
I want you, but I want you to want me too,
Want you to want me baby
Just like I want you*
I'm cold, still haven't gotten over the freezing rain of yesterday and today, even with the 30 minute shower, I was almost late for the briefing. I was so warm this morning when I woke up in the Colonel's arms. I would like to bask in that feeling sometime, nothing to worry about, no team members to consider, that would be a dream come true- but of course that's all it is, a dream. The dream is my favourite thought lately- I'm in the military, he's in the military, and SG-1 is still intact but what's different is that we're together, I get to wake up in his arms every morning and so much more. The waiter brings me my drink and I down it, he goes and brings me another, he then sits down with me.
"Hi, I'm Shawn." He says kindly. "What's your name?"
"Thera." I answer quickly- no responsibilities, no regulations.
--------------------
*One way love is just a fantasy
To share is precious, pure and fair
Don't play with something you should cherish for life
Oh baby, don't you wanna care?
Ain't it lonely out there?*
Our mission was a bust all the way around, no helpful people, no technology haphazardly left behind by anyone, and it somehow got Sam upset with me. I know I do a lot of things that make her mad, horrible things that hurt her, time and time again I seem to screw up when it comes to her. I guess I'm just hiding how I feel, acting out maybe, but dammit I love the woman and I *can't* tell her and even if I could I don't think it would be reciprocated, her career is important to her. When we were on P3R-118 there was nothing more than the threat on our lives stopping us from being together, but would being together as Jona and Thera be the same as being together as Jack and Sam? I wish I had had the time to find out, but no, our memories had been tossed back at us and I was stuck with an unfulfilled need. My waiter comes toward me and I am pleased to see he is carrying my food and not any more Jack Daniels, I have realised that being drunk only makes me think of her more.
-------------------------------
*I want you the right way
I want you, but I want you to want me too,
Want you to want me baby
Just like I want you*
Shawn is trying to make me feel better, I must look pretty bad for him to know how bad everything seems to me right now. Hearing him call me Thera has somehow perked me up more than anything he's actually 'said', she was more of a free soul, all she wanted to do was heat the green house more effectively, she could have cared less about the Air Force, she had never even seen the surface of her planet. Brenna was the one person she had to answer to and she was always pleased to serve, life with those memories was a whole lot more simple than life with *my* memories.
"Come on Thera, you can't be having that bad of a time, you're a pretty woman, fun to talk to and now you're acting like one of my other customers. He's in here all the time, always depressed about something, just sits in the back downing shots of Jack Daniels." I look up when he says this. "He's older than most of the regulars that come around here, maybe he doesn't want to be recognised, he's never said anything more than his order to me."
"I'm older than most of the people here, does that make me depressed about something?"
"Well aren't you?"
"Hey, that's not the point here."
"Why don't you go talk to him, you could wallow in self pity together or something." Shawn suggests and for some reason, probably the alcohol, I find myself standing and following him through the restaurant.
------------------------
*I want you the right way
I want you, but I want you to want me too,
Want me baby, just like I want you.*
My waiter's coming my way again and I haven't ordered anything. I realise he's got someone following him and nearly pass out. I know I'm not *that* drunk, Sam really is walking towards me. I managed to get my wobbly legs to support me as I stand.
"Uh hi." I state awkwardly.
"Hi." Carter answers.
"This is Thera, she's new and I thought you two might be good company for one another." The kid says, buddy you haven't got half a clue do you. I realise the name he gave me is hers but not *hers* and she lowers her eyes at being caught in a lie.
"I'm Jona," I state getting her attention real fast. "Just Jona." The guy leaves us alone and Sam... er Thera, sits across from me at my booth.
"So..."
"So..." I meet her eyes dead on for the first time and we both know exactly what the other is doing here, we're here drowning our sorrows for each other. We want each other and it's become a little more likely that for once we're going to get what we want.
-------------
*I want you, the right way
Want me baby
Don't play with something you should cherish for life*
-----------
END!!
Story Notes: Between Love and Duty III: E-Mail: kelly.mullins@verizon.net
Web: http://www.geocities.com/musicgrl72/kellyf.html
Spoilers: D&C, BtS
Sequel: This is the Sequel to 'What Do I Have to Do?' and 'Put Your Arms Around Me'
Keywords: S/J UST... song fic... Jack and Sam's POVs
Disclaimer: I can promise you I don't own SG-1 or anything by Madonna
Authors Notes: The song is 'I Want You' by Madonna
Thank You: Anyone who sent feedback.
Web: http://www.geocities.com/musicgrl72/kellyf.html
Spoilers: D&C, BtS
Sequel: This is the Sequel to 'What Do I Have to Do?' and 'Put Your Arms Around Me'
Keywords: S/J UST... song fic... Jack and Sam's POVs
Disclaimer: I can promise you I don't own SG-1 or anything by Madonna
Authors Notes: The song is 'I Want You' by Madonna
Thank You: Anyone who sent feedback.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]