Destiny's Hammer by MWJ

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Story Notes: Email: jmhaxby@netzero.net

Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. This is one of the few stories I would not want to see made into an episode. This is a lot darker than my uusal work, and is not in any way related to my series "Future Tense"

Spoilers: Stargate:The Movie (minor)

Colonel Jack O'Neill (retired) sat on the edge of a bed. It was not his own, it was hers. In her house. She had left everything to him in her will. A minor surprise, he had done the same for her. His head was bowed and his back slouched in the dim light from the street. It was overcast, and the moon and stars were hidden from view. Jack spent all of his time here now, just sitting.

The others had come by over the past week, offering condolences, mourning with him, trying to comfort him. Hammond apologized for sending them on that mission. Daniel had wanted to talk about it. Janet had held him and cried, but he did not. He had already cried. Teal'c just sat there and watched him sitting, in the inexplicable Jaffa fashion. Even Jacob, Dad, had come by to talk to him, but he had shut them all out. It was Charlie all over again, but this time worse. This time there were many less happy memories to hold on to- to treasure. They had never even said it.

It was a simple mission, an ordinary meet and greet. The natives were friendly, and after a couple of hours of meals and stories, they were ready to leave. On the way back to the Gate, he had seen someone in the trees, and gone to investigate. As soon as the rest of his team was out of sight, they attacked. Rushing back, Jack had found Daniel and Teal'c holding their own, but Sam was in a semi-exposed location. Concerned for her, he ordered her to fall back to his own position. She complied, the last thing she would ever do. He was the reason she died. His fault. His mistake.

As she was making her way back, a loud crack echoed. She crumpled to the ground, a flash of red betraying her wound. Ignoring his own safety, Jack ran out to her, faster than humanly possible. Part of the way there, he felt a sharp pain in his hip, he ignored it. Sliding next to her, Jack called out her name. Her eyes opened, but noting else. A crimson puddle was spreading from the wound in her throat, and he knew she had no chance. She knew it too. He grasped her hand, which tightened in his. Then it slackened. The spark of intelligence and humor, the glimmer that could bring him out of even the darkest moods, the blue reflection that he would rather die than lose, faded. The rest was a blur. He recalled stumbling down the ramp, her limp form cradled in her arms. The medics had to forcibly take her body from him. When they did, Jack gave in to the pain from his side, and the grief. He sank to the hard concrete floor and wept.

Now, several weeks later, he looked in the dim glow form outside at the house. It had once been hers, and had the subtle signs of her in it. Some times it was too much to bear. Especially with the letter. It had been sitting on his desk when he arrived back to the base from that ill-fated mission. Written regarding the events of several missions before, it was pointless now. They had never even told each other that they loved each other. There was no time. And the bitter irony of that letter had been too much for him. Upon reading it, he had broke down again, crying for almost an hour quietly. Then he wrote up a letter of resignation, and left, not looking back. He considered the contents of the letter again.

To Colonel Jonathan O'Neill

Your actions, and those of your team over the past months have been more than exemplary. Was the veil of secrecy not so tight, your actions in the interests of Earth, and the United States would have earned your entire team the Congressional Medal of Honor. However, this is not possible at this time. Therefore, after consultations with your commanding officer, several allowances have been made for the members of your team. After due deliberation, the decision has been made to reward you by exempting you and Major Samantha Carter from the ordinary regulations concerning relations between officers. You are free to pursue a relationship with the consent of the Air Force Chief of Staff. Congratulations, and thank you for your noble efforts.

The President had signed it, as did some senators who knew about the SGC, and a number of higher ups in the Air Force. But it was a few days too late. Now she was dead, gone to him forever. She hadn't even ascended like Daniel or the Abydonians. If he could do it, as Daniel had suggested, she certainly deserved it more than he. But she was gone. Forever. Not even a sarcophagus could bring her back.

So turning his back on the sky, and the stars, he continued to sit, slowly running his hands back and forth across the cold metal of the pistol.

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