Story Notes: Spoilers: Metamorphosis, Disclosure (sort of)

Season: 6

Disclaimer: All characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, would be really, really cool.

A/N: For those of you who actually read the mini fic (now Metamorphosis Pre-Game on my website) last week, I'm not sure that this will become a weekly thing. *a huge sigh of relief is heard from the list*

WARNING: This is way, way, way, way outside of reality. If you don't like the lighter side of Stargate, don't read this. If you go into a murderous rage whenever your favorite person is written horribly out of character...or just written horribly, DON'T READ. I cannot stress this enough, people.

Jack crouched down in the jungle, clutching his P90. He looked at Jonas who gave him a hand signal and then watched as the man crept up the ridge.

It was all very confusing.

"Carter," Jack whispered, "why are we following Jonas?"

Sam looked at him, repressing the urge to hit him upside the head. After all, he still outranked her.

"Sir," Sam sighed, "Jonas is leading SG-1 now."

"What?! When did that happen?"

Sam shared a look with Teal'c, who just raised an eyebrow.

"After we came back from that planet with do remember that mission, don't you?"

Jack scowled distastefully. "Mutants."

"Yes, that's right, mutants," she said as she patted his arm. "Well, General Hammond was so impressed with Jonas that he decided just to go ahead and give Jonas command."

Teal'c nodded. "Jonas Quinn most assuredly kicked ass on that mission."

"Sir, we discussed this all during the debrief."

The debrief. Jack vaguely recalled being there. He had spent most of the meeting playing footsy with Carter, although, now that he thought about it, Teal'c kept giving him odd looks during that meeting. The rest of the time he had spent drawing a picture of his dream house with Carter. He even drew a little picture of himself looking out the window and a little picture of Carter mowing the lawn.

Jack sighed.

"Stay with me, Sir!" She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "You signed the paper relinquishing command. Remember?"

He might have signed *a* paper.

"And then there was the formal dress ceremony in the gate room."

So that's what that was! All those ceremonies blended together. Mostly they were just another chance to stare at Carter's legs for an hour and a half.

"Didn't you notice how the General kept giving his orders to Jonas and kept calling us Jonas' team during the mission briefing this morning?"

Ah, mission briefings. He always found those his most productive times. He had already gotten up to the "H"s in thinking about baby names.

Jonas started back down the ridge towards them. Suddenly, five women with the words "Deus ex Machina" emblazoned on their shirts bolted from out of the jungle with huge buckets of water. They doused Jonas, grinned at their handiwork and disappeared.

"Well, guess I better take off my jacket," said Jonas, slightly confused.

Sam's head whipped around, suddenly interested.


"Sorry, Sir!" She turned back around. "Don't suppose you want to go jump in a pond or anything?"

Jack barely contained his annoyance as he watched Jonas, now in his wet black t-shirt, check his P90 while flipping his knife into the ground and adjusting his sunglasses. He looked back at Carter who was nonchalantly trying to turn towards Jonas. Maybe *that* was why she kept turning him down! Suddenly Jack realized that no longer being in command took his cool level down a notch.

"Carter, I'm heading back to talk to Hammond about this whole Jonas thing!"

"You can't, Sir. He's in Washington."

"What the heck's he doing there?"

"Right now? Probably showing clips."


"Well, Sir," she paused. "How do you feel about having British, Chinese and French SG teams?"

Jack's blood began to boil as the thought of endless tinsel debates raged in his mind. "I don't care what anyone says, those icicle thingies *are* tinsel! Tinsel, damn it!!"

Sam and Teal'c looked at each other.

"I'm afraid there's really nothing you can do right now, Sir."

Jonas walked up to them. "Okay campers, lets move out. Teal'c, take lead."

So they were following Jonas now. No more responsibility. All Jack had to do was take orders. He could even let his mind wander on missions now. More.

With a dreamy look in his eyes, he turned to Sam. "Carter? How do you feel about the name Heather?"


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