samandjack.net

Story Notes: Season: Any time when Jack's a colonel, Sam's a major, and Daniel isn't glowy.


THE CONNOISSEURS
by Horatio



Jack O'Neill rested his hands comfortably on his P-90 and exhaled the barest of sighs. He was enjoying the view.

Presently he became aware that the man standing next to him was similarly absorbed. "Daniel, what are you looking at?"

"Huh?" Daniel Jackson roused himself from his reverie to look at him. "Oh, nothing."

"You're not staring at nothing."

Daniel looked across the village square at the object of his perusal. "Well, if you really must know, I was looking at Sam."

Major Samantha Carter had commanded the attention of a crowd of natives as she explained the principles of water wheels. With her back turned toward Daniel and Jack, she was gesticulating enthusiastically and drawing in the dirt.

"Oh?" Jack said.

"Well, to be more precise, I was looking at Sam's, er, um . . ."

The colonel slowly removed his sunglasses and pinned the other man with a look. "Carter's what?"

"Well, if you must know."

"I must."

"Erm, not to be crude or anything, because I don't mean it that way at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite, more of admiration, even a kind of reverence, sort of . . ."

"Daniel!"

Jackson looked askance at the colonel, whose fingers drummed impatiently on his gun. He sighed. "All right." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Her ass."

Jack stared at him in silence.

Daniel returned the look. "C'mon, Jack. Don't pretend you weren't looking at it too."

"I was not!"

"Were too."

"Wasn't."

"Were."

They glared at each other a moment longer, then turned their eyes back to the major, who was bending, stooping, turning, demonstrating, bending . . .

Jack shrugged. "Okay, well, maybe a little."

"Uh huh."

Several moments passed while they regarded their teammate, their eyes following her movements minutely. Jack marveled at the major's ability to requisition such exquisitely form-fitting BDUs -- even if they did provoke a thoroughly unprofessional reaction in him.

He frowned, and looked at his companion. "Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"I didn't know you felt that way about Carter."

"Oh, I don't! Not *that* way."

"Well, then?"

"It's -- it's -- it's like admiring a thing of beauty." His hands fluttered in front of him. "Like a Ming dynasty vase, or a Michelangelo sculpture, or a Vermeer. A work of art."

The colonel returned his gaze to his 2IC, tilting his head this way and that, examining the objet d'art in question, which was currently crouched down as Carter added a flourish to her dirt drawing. He smiled. "Yes. A masterpiece, all right."

They watched in quiet admiration for another minute.

Daniel cleared his throat. "By the way, Jack, I certainly don't mean to, in any way, uh, you know, intrude on your, ah . . ." The colonel's head swiveled slowly toward him, and Daniel shut his mouth with an audible clap of his molars.

"Intrude on my what?"

The archeologist mumbled something unintelligible.

"Come again?"

Daniel blew out a breath. "Oh, I'm probably going to regret this," he muttered. "Ah, your territory."

"My *WHAT*?"

The group of villagers froze as O'Neill's booming voice echoed over the small plaza. Heads turned toward the two men. Sam lifted her eyebrows as if to say, Everything okay?

"It's nothing," Jack called out, plastering a smile on his face. Daniel gave Sam a two-fingered wave. She nodded and returned to her conference.

O'Neill's smile vanished. "My *what*?" he repeated in a hoarse whisper.

Daniel pursed his lips. He adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Well, you, um . . . you and Sam, uh . . ."

"Me and Sam *what*?" Jack hissed.

"I just mean, I know how you feel about her and I didn't want you to think--"

"Daniel!" Again, a blonde head turned his direction, and Jack made a go-back-to-what-you-were-doing gesture. Then he grasped Daniel's arm and pulled him closer. "The hell with how I feel. Let's get one thing straight. The words 'Carter' and 'my territory' -- or *anyone's* territory, for that matter -- do not belong in the same sentence together. Or paragraph. Or book, even. Comprende?"

The blue eyes behind the glasses gazed back at Jack with surprise, which quickly morphed into something like respect. Then Daniel looked down at the long fingers clutching his bicep. He looked back up at the colonel. "Ow," he said.

Jack followed his gaze. He released his grip, brushed Daniel's sleeve, and gave it a pat. Putting his sunglasses back on, he turned back to regard the crowd in the square. He gave a little cough. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

The silence thickened until at last Jack ventured a glance at his friend. Daniel was grinning.

"What?" Jack said.

"Oh, just that I should be the one apologizing to you."

"You should?"

"Yes, because you're absolutely right."

"I am?"

Daniel nodded in the direction of the major. "Sam's her own woman, isn't she?"

O'Neill gazed across the plaza at his 2IC, who held the townspeople in thrall with her scientific expertise. Hugging his P-90 to his chest, he rocked back on his feet slightly, a smile tugging at his lips. "You're damn right she is."

Daniel whispered, "Besides having a really nice--oof!"

Jack elbowed Daniel in the ribs. Carter had taken leave of the crowd and was crossing the square to her teammates.

She stopped in front of them and looked from one to the other. "Is everything okay?"

"Peachy."

"Couldn't be better."

She regarded them dubiously.

Jack decided to change the subject. "Are you all done impressing the natives?" he said.

She smiled. "Well, I don't know about that, sir. But I probably I gave them some ideas to think about."

"Oh, I'm sure you did, Carter. I'm sure you did." He spoke with uncommon warmth, letting his gaze rest on her a moment longer than was necessary. Their eyes locked, then Jack caught himself and abruptly turned away. "Let's go," he said gruffly. "Teal'c is waiting for us at the gate."

Sam's brow wrinkled in puzzlement, and she looked questioningly at Daniel. But he was studiously examining a loose thread on his jacket and didn't meet her eyes. Shrugging, she positioned her P- 90 more comfortably in her arm and headed up the path.

By the time they were ascending the last hill before the gate, Sam had forgotten her CO's strange mood as she followed close on his six.

She was enjoying the view.

THE END




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