samandjack.net

Story Notes: Time frame: Sometime during Season 4, after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Author's Notes: As most of you have guessed from the title, I couldn't help but notice that the Gamekeeper's machine is awfully similar to the Matrix, but without the whole robots trying to take over the world thing! So naturally I make a few comments in the story, not a lot, but I couldn't help but see the similarity.

Dedications: As always to my Best Pal/Editor. A fellow Queen fan and a good friend always encouraging me (even when I get 48% in the end of year Biology exam!) Thanks a lot, Baby! Also thank you to my friend, Cammy and her most insistent line 'Have you got anymore stories?' everyday for the past few months since I let her read one! And finally to all the S/J peeps out there. You rock! Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Everything that has a beginning has an end including... The Games, Reloaded!


Prologue

Jack swaggered down the halls of the SGC. He greeted a few people and then finally reached his destination. He tapped on the door lightly.

"Come in."

As Jack opened the door he smiled. Trust Carter! She hadn't even looked up from whatever new 'toy' she'd obtained! How she understood how those doodads she was always playing with worked Jack would never work out.

"Hey, Carter. Whatcha doin'?"

He saw her suppress a grin at the sound of his voice. She continued to look down the eyepiece of the microscope, "Hey, Colonel! I'm just looking at the cooling device being used to stop the Naquidah reactor from overheating. For some reason the temperature cells are malfunc..."

"It was just a figure of speech, Carter! Geez!"

She grinned again. He picked up a gadget off the worktop and began to examine it curiously. He turned it in his fingers as he looked at Carter. Her eye still didn't move from the cooling device or whatever the hell it was!

"Sorry, Colonel. So what are you doing here?" she paused for a second her smile widening, "And put whatever you're fiddling with down before you break it!"

"How did you know!"

"Sir, since when have you ever come into my lab and not picked up something and started playing with it?"

"Good point."

She knew him too well! It was like she had eyes in the back of her head. He decided better than to keep playing with the gizmo and placed it back down on the workbench carefully. He answered her question, "I was gonna get a bite to eat before the briefing. I thought you might wanna come with."

"Nah. I've got to do thi..."

"I'll make it an order! Carter, you've been in here playing with that doohickey since 5:00am! That was about," he looked at his wrist watch, "8 hours ago and I bet you haven't had any breaks!"

He knew her too well! Sam knew he was right. As her CO he always knew what time she went into her lab to when she came out. Dammit!

"I won't take no for an answer, Carter!"

~~~Å~~~

They sat in the commissary, eating Jell-o. It was all there was on the menu today that seemed safe to eat. Just as they were finishing Daniel appeared in the doorway, he waved to them, and walked over to the coffee machine.

It seemed to be all the man drunk! Jack swore he must have a coffee addiction, so one mission he'd purposely got rid of all the coffee sachets in the MREs and stolen Daniel's secret coffee supply from his pack. It had worked until Daniel realised he had a good eight sachets in his pocket! So much for going into rehab!

After purchasing his coffee, he came and sat with them, "You guys ready for the briefing?"

This was going to be there first mission since Teal'c had cured himself from Apophis's brainwashing. He was finally back to being his totally normal self and everyone was much gladder for it.

Jack spoke as he began to play with the salt and pepper pots on the table, "Teal'c's peeing himself with excitement. He's been out of action for a good few weeks and having meetings with McKenzie every day cannot be healthy!"

Sam chuckled, "He's seems to be coping. Major Ferretti had a bet that he'd crack before the first fortnight. That reminds me... he owes me fifty bucks!"

"Carter! I'm surprised at you! I didn't have you down as the gambling type!"

A grin swept her face; "Here's a fact then. For my 21st birthday my friends and I went on a trip to Las Vegas! I won a total of seventeen hundred dollars and only lost around a hundred including hotel expenses etc."

Jack just gawped at her, "You?"

She gave an exasperated sigh, "Yes me!" Her grin widened, "So, you've heard 'Sam's Secret of the Week'! Now you guys have to give me some... and they have to be good!"

Jack looked quite unsure and turned to Daniel, "You first."

Sam smiled, "Come on, Daniel. Anything you like."

Daniel looked around and then lowered his voice, "You tell anyone and... and I'll lecture you on... Minoan agriculture!"

"OK," Sam said as Jack made a zipping gesture on his mouth. Sam smiled, "Spill the beans. What's Daniel's Secret of the Week?"

Daniel muttered something. Sam gave a small frown, "Sorry Daniel. Didn't hear that?"

His voice rose slightly so it was just a whisper; "I dress up as a clown some weekends."

Jack jaw dropped, as Sam's eyebrows rose. Jack spoke loudly, "You what?"

Everyone in the commissary looked over curiously. They just smiled until everyone went back to what they'd been doing before Jack's exclamation. Daniel sighed and shuffled awkwardly in his seat, "Some weekends I dress up like a clown."

Jack face was a picture of disbelief, "Why?"

"I go into the children's hospital dressed as a clown," Daniel shrugged and made a small smile, "It's quite fun actually."

They sat in a shocked silence for about a minute before Sam turned to Jack, "OK Sir. Your turn. Me and Dr. Jackson have told you some of our little secrets, what's yours? 'Jack's Secret of the Week'."

Jack sat in silence for a moment. Just hearing her say his name was enough to strike him dumb instantly. He shook away the cat that had a firm grasp on his tongue, as he said, "Anything?"

"Yes and we swear we won't tell anyone," Sam said seriously.

"Not a soul," Daniel nodded in agreement.

Jack lent closer to them at the table, "Not a soul?"

"No one will ever know," Sam said in reassurance.

"OK," he murmured, "I..." he broke off for a moment and then sighed. He took a deep breath, "I was bullied at school..."

"You're kidding?" Sam said surprised.

"I'm not finished," he said and then whispered, "I was bullied at school because... I was a geek."

Daniel choked and spat out a mouthful of his precious coffee and began to splutter. Thankfully, no one had been in the way! Everyone stared at them again. Daniel found himself trying to smile and then he shot out of his seat and grabbed a handful of napkins. Sam, Jack and Daniel began to mop it up with tissues as Daniel hissed, "Geek? In what sense?"

"In the sense... I was... well, brainy," Jack mumbled and then looked at his watch speaking hurriedly, "Oh look at the time! Briefing in five! Let's go!"

"Wait a second, Jack!" Daniel's eyes were popping out of his head, "Brainy?!?"

A small smile appeared on Jack's lips, "I act like a dumb ass sometimes, Daniel, but that doesn't mean I am." Jack looked down at his hands awkwardly, "I do usually know what you and Carter are talking about, I just don't let on," he gave a small snort, "Fear of bullying."

Daniel was absolutely speechless and Sam just stared at the Colonel sympathetically. Jack looked at his watch, "Four minutes..."

They all got up as Daniel murmured; "Teal'c will kill us if we're late!"

~~~Å~~~

Daniel, Sam and Jack walked into the briefing to find Teal'c sat in one of the chairs expectantly. They'd almost run all the way from the commissary and all of them were slightly out of breath.

"You are early," he stated as he sat back in the chair.

"Yeah, we didn't want to discover the consequences of the opposite, Teal'c!"

Teal'c just inclined his head. They all sat in their seats. They'd been on the chairs barely a millisecond when General Hammond strode into the room.

"As you were," he said to them as Jack and Sam made an attempt to stand up. The General gave them a brief smile, "Welcome back to briefing, SG-1"

"Oh, I've been dreaming of nothing else!" Jack said sarcastically, gaining a small smile and a fond shake of the head from his 2IC.

"It is indeed most pleasurable to be back, General Hammond." Jack shook his head. Someday he'd teach that Jaffa the finer points of sarcasm! General Hammond just nodded and turned to a TV stood beside him.

"MALP footage?" Jack asked as General Hammond nodded.

"The planet is K8W 721. The planet supports a breathable atmosphere and can sustain human life. We also believe that there could be a race of people on the planet."

He pressed play on the remote and the TV crackled into life. The MALP playback showed a plain grey room. It was lit by the Stargate and even then it seemed a cool grey colour. Before the MALP stood a door and a switch beside it.

"They certainly know how to decorate on K7W..."

"K8W 721, O'Neill." Teal'c interrupted and Jack gave him a look that said, 'What ever!'

Sam stared at the screen and addressed General Hammond, "Is that it, Sir?"

"Yes, Major. Looks like it must be civilised, but what is beyond the room we can't tell. We want SG-1 to investigate."

"OK, Sir. When do we leave?"

"1500hrs."

Jack nodded seriously, "Yes, Sir."

General Hammond stood, a small smile on his lips, "OK, SG-1. Dismissed."

~~~Å~~~

As they stepped through the rising metal door and stepped into the embarkation room, Jack turned back to Daniel to continue their argument...

"Daniel, listen! I'm telling it to you straight! I'd much rather eat a bowl full of scorpions with Maybourne watching me eat every one than speak to my cousin and her snooty husband again!"

"Jack! They're your family!"

Jack spoke darkly, "Oh, so that's why I hate them so much!"

Daniel frowned, "Jack, I'm serious! I have no family, except Nick and he's... preoccupied..."

"Ah yes! The Giant Aliens..."

Daniel's frown deepened, "Jack, you can't make the excuse you are going to a funeral just to avoid your cousin!"

"I can and I did! So there!"

Sam let out a snort. Both men spun around to her and frowned in confusion, as Sam muttered, "Men!"

Jack spoke indignantly, "Did I just hear, what I thought I heard?"

"Well, you are being silly! Honestly, Sir, she can't be that bad!"

Jack gave a visible shudder, "She is THAT bad! Mary..." he shuddered just saying the name, "Mary is just like the rest of my family."

Sam let out a small smile, "If they're all like you, I dread to think of all those O'Neills out there!"

"That's precisely it, Carter! They're nothing like me!"

Sam shook her head as she said quietly, "Me and my brother are always falling out and until me and my Dad went to visit him after the Seth incident I hadn't spoken to him for almost 6 years, but he's family! The least you can do is see them once!" Before Jack could protest, Sam said, "Just once and if you want me, Daniel and Teal'c will be there to support you!"

Jack smiled slightly, as Daniel pulled a face and Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Daniel began mouthing, 'NO!' desperately and waving his hands in a motion that said, 'No way! Have you lost your mind?'

The wormhole shot from the Naquidah ring. She could hear General Hammond's voice over the intercom saying, "You have a go, Colonel."

"Come on, Kids," Jack said as he strode up to the Gate. They stood before the shimmering wormhole as Jack muttered to Sam, "I'm holding you to the family reunion, Carter!" He shot her a grin as she sighed and shook her head in fake exasperation as they stepped into the wormhole...

~~~Å~~~

Part One

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from Reality.

~Bohemian Rhapsody~

~~~Å~~~

Jack

There's no time for us. There's no place for us.
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Then slips away from us.

~Who wants to live forever~

~~~Å~~~

Jack stepped out from the Stargate again as he stumbled onto the metal ramp. He looked about him. Where were Carter, Daniel and Teal'c?

"Whoa! Down boys!" He said as he saw about twenty men aiming guns at him. They didn't listen, in fact they seemed to all be ready to shoot him at any second.

His eye fell upon a group of four men all staring at him as if they'd seen a ghost. He looked at them. He'd never seen them before in his life! Suddenly his eyes fell upon the badges on their right arms.

'SG-1?' he thought, 'what the hell is going on? Is this some kind of joke?'

"Who are you?" A familiar voice rumbled through the intercom. Finally! Someone he recognised! General Hammond came strolling out into the room. Protected by the guns he approached. He repeated his original question, "Who are you?"

"General. It's me. Colonel O'Neill. You know. Great leader of SG-1, your 2IC, guy loved by the Asguard, totally crap at following orders, has come back from the dead enough times to... General?"

The look on the General's face was enough to shut him up. "Who are you really?"

"What? Is this some kind of joke? General, I only walked through the Gate a second ago!" He looked at the gun barrels pointed at him, "I walked through the Gate with Carter, Teal'c and Daniel on a routine mission to K8W 721 and ended up walking through the Gate here."

The General sighed wearily and quite uncharacteristically, "Colonel, if that's really who you are, you've been missing for almost two years!"

~~~Å~~~

Jack sat in his cell, spinning a yo-yo up and down, bored beyond comprehension. When the Doc had seen him she'd almost had a heart attack. The poor woman had shrieked with surprise and almost collapsed. After she'd calmed down a bit she'd done almost twenty different tests on him, some, he was positive, she'd invented just for the occasion! They were trying to prove he really was Jack O'Neill. As far as Jack was concerned, he hadn't been away from the SGC for more than a split second and yet here he was. He'd been MIA for a couple of years and everything was so strange! No one had even bothered to fill him in!

For instance, what the hell was Wannabe-SG-1 doing? Another thing, where the hell had he been? What had happened to his team?

There was a knock on the door. 'At last! Maybe I'll get some answers!' He thought as he grumbled, "Come in," Doc Fraiser sidled in through the door closing it behind her, "Oh. What's up, Doc?"

"Colonel." She acknowledged him. She still looked like she had when he'd first arrived in the Infirmary, "After your little reappearing act, it's a good thing we were able to hold down the rumours. No one, except those who were in the Gate room, knows you're here."

"And that's a good thing... how?"

"You are Colonel Jack O'Neill, but you have to understand. You were declared MIA after you'd already been missing several months. After Teal'c came back they gave up and admitted you were missi..."

"Teal'c! He's here. He's OK," Jack sighed, relieved, "So wherever we were, we're all back on Earth now?"

"Well, not exactly. After you die... disappeared, Teal'c moved back to Chulak to live with his family. Daniel couldn't bear to work here anymore and went to live in New York. He's only just come back from a huge expedition in Asia..."

"And Carter?" Jack asked. The Doc's silence was unnerving. Jack was about to ask again when she spoke.

"She still works here, but... she's Dr. Carter now." Janet looked at the floor, "She hasn't been on a mission since the one to K8W 721."

Jack was flabbergasted, "D-Doc? I've gotta see her. God, do you know how frustrating it is down here! I'm bored and confused out of my mind! I swear to God! I'm going nuts!"

"I'm sorry. The General said you could go to your quarters, but you are not to leave them..."

"Why the hell not! And you didn't tell me why I can't see Carter!"

"Colonel!" The woman yelled. He was stunned into silence. She gasped. It sounded more like a small sob than a gasp. She lowered her voice to a whisper, "I'm sorry, but you can't see Sam just yet and you have to stay in your quarters."

"OK. Sorry. Doc, are you OK?"

"Yes I'm fine," she said trying to shake something from her voice, "Now let's get you to your quarters. The General has already made sure there are no personnel on that level so we can put you in there..."

"You what? Does anyone wanna tell me what the hell is goin' on here?"

"Your disappearing act left a lot of people upset and shocked. Think what it would be like if we lost Teal'c, Daniel or Sam for almost two years and then all of a sudden they popped up out of nowhere! If anyone starts a rumour about you then we'll not only have the whole SGC gossiping, but also the NID and the Pentagon will be on our tails."

Jack really didn't understand the logic, but he decided arguing was useless so he followed the Doc out of the cell. Six airmen, all of whom had been in the Gate room when he'd come back through, escorted him down the corridors. He felt like a convict, not an old friend who had just returned from a prolonged holiday!

As they passed the Infirmary, Dr. Fraiser closed the door before leading him past. They gained a bit of distance from the room before she muttered, "I didn't want to clear out the Infirmary. It was unnecessary."

"You got that right!" The female Doctor frowned at Jack's comment as they walked up to his quarters. He was extremely surprised they hadn't given it away to someone else. He wondered why it was still his room. Surely General Hammond wouldn't keep it after he went MIA. It just didn't make sense.

Janet opened the door and peered inside. She flinched, "Sam! You gave me a shock!" She sighed gently, then turned to the airmen. She pointed to a Janitor's closet to their left, as Jack felt himself shoved into the small compartment. One of the guards told him to stay silent. Now this was weird!

"There you are! What are you doing in here?" Janet's voice rang clearly as she spoke into his quarters.

"Janet! I-I-..." Carter! He heard her voice as she stammered, "I-I was-... Wait a minute! What are you doing here?"

He could hear Janet lying, "I was looking for you! I was seriously worried when I couldn't find you. Anything could've happened! You could've..."

"Janet, don't lecture me. I'm really not in the mood!"

"You know you're supposed to be having your examination now, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Sam sighed, "I guess I'm nervous."

"And you have every reason to be!" The doctor spoke reassuringly and then gasped, "I almost forgot, you don't know. Daniel is on his way to visit because Teal'c is coming to say 'Hi' from Chulak! Rya'c has gone to the Jaffa equivalent of Summer camp and he had some free time..."

Sam's voice was sceptical as she interrupted, "Don't give me that bull, Janet! Neither of them have been here for almost a year and a half. I know why they're really coming," He heard Doc. Fraiser sigh as Carter continued shakily, "I know..." Her voice trailed away. He heard a small sob, "I've got the best friends in the world!"

"Hey. Sh-sh-sh. It's OK," Janet spoke in a calming tone as she obviously tried to hush a weeping Carter, "Now come on. Let's get you back to the Infirmary. Daniel will be here in about five minutes and Teal'c wi..."

"OFF WORLD ACTIVATION! REPEAT. OFF WORLD ACTIVATION!" The klaxons blared as Janet's words were interrupted. She continued, "Teal'c has probably just arrived. I need to go collect Daniel from the surface."

"Janet, can I go meet him? It's been so long since I saw him and I don't wanna go to the Infirmary!" She breathed in shakily, "I don't wanna know!"

"I'm sorry, Sam. You have to get to the Infirmary. One of the nurses will be there if you need help getting ready, but I think you know the drill by now. I'd hurry though! Knowing Teal'c he'll probably get there before you!"

"I dunno. I'm quite fast," he could here Sam smiling as she gave a small sniffle, "And I have the advantage!"

"OK. I'll be there real soon. I said I'd meet Daniel on the surface...."

"And I'll be a good astrophysicist and see you in the Infirmary."

He heard Janet's heels clicking as she walked out of the room. There was a knock on the door and it was opened as Jack was pulled out. He immediately looked up and down the corridors, but Sam was gone. Dammit! Jack spoke, "What was that about? And why was Carter in my quarters?"

"She comes here quite a lot," Janet said as she led him into his room. Jack could see that! The old and usually empty vase in the corner had been moved to the bedside table and was filled with sunflowers. There were used Kleenex all over the desk and a few hefty looking books were stacked near the back of his old bookcase.

"'Evidence of Quantum Theory' by Dr. Samantha Carter, PHD," he read the front cover and then collapsed on his bed. Carter's possessions seemed to litter the room.

"She's been coming here a lot more recently. She took your deat... disappearance the hardest," that had been the second time she'd almost said 'death' instead of 'disappearance' today and it was annoying him. She continued, "She talks to you in here. She finds it comforting. Simmons tried to get her committed to a hospital, but there is nothing wrong with her in the mental respect!"

Jack had a strange feeling that Janet was lying to him. He knew no one would just be committed for talking to one of his or her friends who was dead, or in his case supposedly dead. There was something she wasn't telling him.

"OK Colonel. I've got to go and collect Daniel from the surface. I'll check up on you later OK?"

"Yeah fine," he said as she closed the door behind him. He heard a key being turned in the lock. Dammit! No chance of escaping to go see Daniel, Teal'c and Carter now!

He looked around his room again. He noticed his desk was also strewn with papers. A pen lay on the desk, its lid still off. That was odd… his chair was missing. Ah well.

He rummaged through the drawers of his desk. In the top drawer he found an envelope with a label in Carter's handwriting.

Colonel Jack Colonel

That was really un-Carter like. Everything was so weird here! He opened the letter hesitantly. As he read it he became more confused than before.

Dear Colonel,

It's Carter. I needed to talk to someone and as you can't lecture me or anything, I guess you're the best candidate.

Daniel left last week, but Teal'c's still hanging around. He says he won't leave until I'm out of here, but I know he wants to get back to Chulak. He's going back to live with Rya'c and Dray'ac.

Daniel moved to New York to live in the city. He took it hard. Whether you realise it or not you're his best friend. The General says if you don't come back soon he's going to declare you MIA. Daniel had an argument with him about not going back to rescue you, but we don't have a choice. We can't go back. None of us can remember what happened on the planet and the General said you have to make it back on your own like we did.

The stupid thing about this is that we can't send anyone to '721 anymore. During the argument we could, but now they must have an iris of some kind. We sent a MALP through the minute Teal'c came back, but there was nothing.

Another thing, we've all come back at different times. I was first to be returned and everyone just assumed I was the only one of us coming back. Then two days later Daniel showed up and four months after that Teal'c came through. The worst part is I can't remember anything between when I stepped into the event horizon and stepped out of it again.

It was only a few minutes after I came back that I discovered my Dad was dead. He went on a secret mission for the Tok'ra and was flying in a Goa'uld trade ship. The Tok'ra didn't know there was a Goa'uld spy on the base. The ship was planted with a bomb and exploded when they tried to use the hyper drive.

Janet sent me home with a clear bill of health only a few weeks after the mission. She said I was perfectly healthy...

The next paragraph was unreadable from all of the crossing out and scribbling over. The paper actually had rip marks in it from where the pen had torn through it! Jack's eyes flicked to the next bit. There were now running ink stains from where tears had fallen onto the paper:

...feels guilty and won't leave me alone. The worst thing about all this was that it happened in the briefing room. And to top it all off Simmons was there. He almost had me committed to a mental institution. He said I was possessed or crazy and Daniel told him to get out of the Salem Witch trials! I wouldn't be surprised if Simmons tried to drown me at the moment. He'd easily succeed. Sometimes I wish he would and get me out of this nightmare.

I wish you were here so badly. I miss you, more than I should, but I can't stand this. I can't help thinking if you were still alive I'd be alright although I know I can't change the way I am now, but I just wish I could. It's becoming so hard to cope with all this and if I don't get better soon I might lose my mind.

I wish there was a way out of this. Suicide is out of the question. I have people watching me all day and I definitely can't hang myself, but I know I can't live with myself anymore

The writing just stopped. The pen looked as though it had been dragged from her hand! OK now he was confused out of his mind! What the hell was going on around here while he was gone? He felt worry over take that. Carter was in trouble for some reason and he was going to help her.

He looked around the room. He wasn't staying cooped up in here! He looked for something he could open the door with or anything he could use to escape.

A thought struck him. He looked up! Oh Yes! Vents! The perfect plan! He looked around the room and found an umbrella, obviously Carter's, and pushed off the wire mesh cover. He slid it along the vent and then jumped on his bed. He hoisted himself into the narrow gap. He was just about able to pull himself through it.

"First stop, the Infirmary...!"

He shuffled along the vents hoping he could find his way to the Infirmary and also hoping there would be a vent looking down over it.

Suddenly he saw light emanating from a grate in the floor of the vent. He heard voices:

"Dr. Fraiser, are you certain of the accuracy of your results?" That low drone could only belong to Teal'c.

"Yes I am," a small shuddering sigh came from the Doc, "I think about twelve months, eighteen at the most."

Jack pulled himself so he could see down through the vent. It was Doc Fraiser's office. OK. How the hell had he gotten to the Infirmary that quickly! And if the Doc had only just left to meet Daniel at the surface how come he was already in there?

Inside sat the Doc, her head in her hands obviously stopping herself from the brink of tears and opposite her sat Daniel. He looked about to have a mental breakdown. Teal'c stood straight and silent behind him, but the Jaffa looked as though he was... about to cry! Now, Teal'c never looked that distraught! His expression was almost ridiculous! He listened riveted to the conversation as Daniel broke the dreadful silence that had descended on the room.

"Oh God! Is that all?" His hopeless voice cracked part way through the sentence. He pulled off his glasses and raked a hand through his hair. Jack was shocked by Daniel's appearance. He could tell he'd been in Asia. His skin was more tanned and his hair longer than when Jack had last seen him. He spoke again, "Does she know yet?"

"No. You're the first to know."

Daniel sighed almost frustrated, "Shall I tell her?"

"If you want to," Janet said. She was staring at the table and looked as if she was going to cry again.

"God, I wish Jack was here. Maybe none of this would have happened."

"There was no stopping it, Daniel, but the Colonel would've been supportive and caring..." Janet snorted in a way of pure hatred for herself, "Yeah like you failed to do, Janet!"

"It wasn't your fault! There would've been no point arguing with Sam! She set her mind to it and she wasn't going to give up easily." Daniel rose as Teal'c moved towards the door, "I heard about the other day. I'm only sorry I wasn't here myself. Is that what this is about?"

"No. Not really. I guess if I'd looked harder in the first place I might have found it and she wouldn't be..."

"Oh for crying out loud, Janet! She doesn't blame you, so don't blame yourself. It, whatever it is, is undetectable," he sighed gently, "Before I see her again, I have to know... How has she been?"

"She's been OK. You know, still all bright and cheerful, but I know different. She's just hiding behind smiles... and in Colonel O'Neill's quarters."

Daniel smiled sadly, "She still talking to him in there?"

Janet gave an equally sad smile, "Yeah. She tells him everything," Janet gave a strangled choke; "I've heard her laughing at his jokes."

"Jack always knew how to make her smile," Daniel nodded, "And Janet? How is she? Really."

Janet nodded, "On the whole, she's depressed and shocked. She felt awful after what happened. Ah Dammit! I shouldn't have let her... Well, on her own she can't do anything! I should've asked her to stay at mine!"

"Janet, don't worry!" Daniel smiled gently, "I'll look after her now. I'm not leaving Colorado. I shouldn't have left in the first place!" He spoke determined and the Doc just smiled weakly as the two men walked out of the door.

Jack began shuffling again. As he approached the next vent, he heard Sam's voice, "Teal'c! How are you? Chulak still as beautiful as I remember?"

"It is indeed, Major Carter. I am well as is Rya'c. He's growing into a strong warrior. I wish you could return to Chulak some day."

"Yeah, so do I," She paused sadly and then gasped happily, "Daniel? Daniel! I hardly recognised you! Come here!" He looked down through the mesh. Sam sat on a gurney dressed in her fatigues. She began hugging Daniel tightly as he sat beside her.

"Oh Sam, it's so good to see you! How are you? I've missed you so much!"

"Even traipsing around those wonderful temples in Asia? Tell me, what's Asia like? Did you buy me one of those hats from Thailand as a souvenir?" She grinned.

"No. Sorry Sam! It was great. The architecture was stunning! Oh Sam, it was so beautiful! You would have loved it! I've brought back loads of photos! The weather was good except for the monsoon and there were loads of digs I visite... Wait a second! Do you do this on purpose?" He chuckled, "You always swing the conversation so it doesn't move to you! You're trying to avoid answering me!"

She smiled gently, looking slightly embarrassed, "So you worked it out at last!"

Daniel shuffled his chair closer as she continued to smile, but there was something in her face that told Jack that she wasn't really smiling at all.

"So how are you?" Daniel said gently as he grabbed Sam's hand and held it tightly, "I heard about the other day..."

"Can we not talk about this?" Sam's words were more of a plea than her usual bold speech, "Please."

"OK. I just wanted to say..."

"Daniel!"

"OK! OK. I won't talk about it!"

"Thank you. I know I shouldn't have been on my own! I know I should've gone to Janet's or something, but it's over and done with now, OK?"

"If Doctor Fraiser had not found you, you would most likely be dead!" Teal'c's matter-of-fact statement even made Jack wince, and he didn't understand what the hell they were talking about!

"Yeah. Thanks for the reminder!" Daniel said sarcastically.

"I wish Major Carter to know of the risk she has taken, Daniel Jackson."

"Teal'c. I'm not Major Carter anymore. Do you think you could call me by my first name?"

"I will indeed endeavour... Samantha Carter."

She grinned, "Close enough, Teal'c". The conversation, as usual, had changed from being serious to being the usual friendly banter that they had down to an art. Her smile fell as she turned to Daniel, "Daniel? I know Janet told you about me..." Suddenly she began shaking and stuttering, "I just... I wanna know... the r-results... H-how long?"

Daniel looked away from her as he suddenly became very interested with a book on astrophysics lying on the desk beside her. As he did this Sam's lip began to tremble. "Daniel?" She repeated gently. Her eyes wide and fearful, "Please. I'm-I'm nervous enough as it is! D-Don't stall!"

He cleared his throat uneasily, "She said you had about a year. Eighteen months at the most."

The look in Sam's eyes could have written a book. In the depths he saw despair and absolute giving up. He'd never seen that in her eyes before. Jack began to finally realise what was happening. Oh God! NO! Not Carter! This wasn't happening! It was all some really wacky nightmare!

"Sam? Sam, are you OK?"

"Yeah," her voice shook immediately proving she was lying, "Just a little sh-shocked that's all. A -year? I-I-I... I thought..." She gave a strangled sob as she broke down, "Oh God! A year?"

"Sam." Daniel pulled her into another hug as she began to sob into his shoulder. Her back shuddered as Daniel held her tighter. Jack wasn't surprised to see tears rolling down Daniel's cheeks, but even Teal'c had tears in his eyes.

Daniel and Sam were gently rocking backwards and forwards, as the man tried to comfort her. Daniel was murmuring softly, "It's OK, Sam. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. No matter what! I'm gonna stay here. I'm not going back to New York! I'll be here the whole time."

Her sobbing just increased as Daniel shared a desperate look with Teal'c. Teal'c obviously understood as he went back into the Doc's office.

He came back followed by the doctor. She had red rings under her now puffy eyes. Daniel turned to her, "Can I take Sam home?"

"Of course. Her stuff's in the bag... oh... wait a second... here," Janet put a bottle of pills into the bag, "Twice a day, OK?"

Daniel nodded gently. Sam had stopped sobbing and was now shuddering slightly. She was staring into space desolately before she looked down at her legs and then slowly turned to her stoic companion, "Teal'c, could you...?"

Teal'c inclined his head and moved over to Sam as Daniel got up. Sam wrapped her arms around Teal'c's neck as she was lifted from the bed. Teal'c held her in his arms as Daniel manoeuvred a wheelchair into position. Teal'c lowered her into the wheelchair. It all fitted together now! And Jack hated it!

Teal'c clasped the handles; "I will meet you on the surface, Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah," Daniel agreed, "I won't be long."

The Jaffa left wheeling Carter out of the room. Daniel turned to Janet, "What do I do if she starts... you know... fitting...?"

"If she goes into convulsive shock inject her with the drugs I gave her. If she stops breathing altogether, as she sometimes does, do CPR and call me the minute you can."

"OK. God, poor Sam! How many pills does she have to take every day?"

"At least seven different types, most of them more than once."

"Jesus! No wonder she's suicidal!" He turned to the doctor, "I'm gonna stay here in Colorado until... I won't be needed any longer. Can you tell General Hammond?"

"Sure. Are you gonna be OK? I mean coming back to Colorado. I know how awful you felt after Jack... You said you'd never come back here."

"When Sam's gone, there'll be no reason for me to stay here any longer and I don't think I'll ever come back here again. Since Jack died... I haven't had the heart to come back here. When Sam had the crash I should've stayed longer! Real supportive, Daniel!" He added the last statement to himself disgustfully, "God! I'm such a heartless son of a bitch! All I wanted to do was get out of Colorado, while poor Sam lay in a hospital bed after being told that she was paralysed from the waist down, that she would be fitting for the rest of her now reduced life, that she'd never be able to work in the air force again, that her father was dead and that General Hammond was declaring Jack MIA! She was going through the worst time of her life and I left!"

"There was nothing you could do for her! You know why she hated that hospital so much? Because everyone that visited her was perfectly healthy and able to walk and she really didn't want company. She told me afterwards she was glad she didn't have to lay there with people clucking over her protectively. She felt like a kid and she wanted some time to think." Daniel just nodded as Janet continued, "The other day when I found her, she wasn't breathing. If I had been a minute later..."

"Yeah," Daniel interrupted, "So, you don't know what's causing the fitting?"

"No. I still don't know the cause, but if she gets a serious shock she might start fitting again. I've been looking for almost a year and I can't find any abnormalities! None! I..." she sighed and turned to Daniel, "Just keep a close eye on her, Daniel, especially now."

"I will," he smiled slightly as he went to leave, "Whatever those bastards on '721 did to her I hope Jack is annoying them to the brink of killing themselves!"

Janet just smiled as he left. Jack began to crawl backwards through the shaft. As he reached his room, he lowered himself down to his bed and shoved the metal grate across.

Jack stared around the room, but didn't register anything in his brain. Carter. Sam was ill. Seriously ill. She had a wheel chair and from what he'd gathered she had fits, she was paralysed from the waist down and she'd had a car crash. He assumed that Simmons had seen her fitting and decided she was insane. He wanted to throttle Simmons so badly...

There was a knock on the door, "Colonel, it's me."

"Come on in," he said as Janet walked in.

"Colonel, General Hammond would like to speak to you."

"What about?"

"He has decided you can see the guys in a few days. He wants to talk to you."

Jack got up from the bed and followed her from the room. As they walked, Jack noticed that her eyes were no longer red and puffy. Something just wasn't right about all this...

~~~Å~~~

Teal'c

It's a long hard struggle,
But you can always depend on me,
And if you're ever in trouble,
You know where I'll be.

~Let me Live~

~~~Å~~~

"O'NEILL! I AM NOT DISTANT FROM YOUR POSITION!"

Teal'c shivered as a flurry of snow blew past him. He waded through the glacial gush as he tried to get to his friends. The rope fastened around his waist began to tighten as he felt himself being dragged along by the flow. He could see them. They were clinging onto the rock face for their lives as the slush-like waterfall gushed over their heads.

He had to get there soon. He watched as Daniel Jackson lost his grip one hand falling down beside him.

"DANIEL!" Major Carter yelled as she tried to reach his hand. She was now also holding on with only one hand, "I've got you! Come on, Daniel!"

Their hands were clasped tightly as Major Carter used whatever strength she had left to hoist the archaeologist back up beside her. She flung her arm back to the cliff edge trying to hold on again and almost falling herself.

Teal'c reached the edge. He tried to grab Daniel Jackson from the perilous position he was in. His fingertips were the only things holding him up. He hoisted him up from the cliff face and tied another piece of rope around his waist as he held the man in his vice like grip.

He turned back to his other friends as he saw O'Neill's hand slipping. His fingers slipped from the icy rock as the cascading ice became too much for him to endure and he fell.

"COLONEL!" Major Carter screamed.

Somehow his fingers connected with a snag in the rock, where he now hung, the icy sludge pummelling his back and head powerfully.

"Major Carter! My Hand!" Teal'c raised his voice to try and get her attention, but she continued to stare at O'Neill who managed to give a strangled shout.

"Carter!" She continued to stare as if she hadn't heard him, "Sam! Get outta here!"

At the sound of her first name, she started from her horror. She ripped her eyes away from him as Teal'c helped her up from the sheer cliff face.

Teal'c fastened the rope around her tightly, "Get back to the bank!" She grabbed Daniel Jackson and they began to push their way through the dense slush.

He turned back to O'Neill who was clutching at the slippery stone. Teal'c tried to lower a rope towards the figure dangling precariously, "O'Neill! The rope!"

He gripped the rope with one hand, but slid another few feet down the icy rock face. He was clasping to the very end of the rope, now with both hands. If Teal'c tried to pull him up he would fall, if he didn't he would fall.

"Sam, No!" Daniel said weakly as Teal'c turned in shock to see Major Carter abseiling down the cliff face. She had both her and Daniel Jackson's ropes tied around her waist. Both of the other ends were tightly secured to the round boulder holding him steady.

"Hang on, Colonel! I'm coming!"

Teal'c looked at O'Neill. He was fighting unconsciousness with every ounce of resolve he had. His voice was shaky as he tried to yell failing, miserably, "C-Carter! What are you doing?"

"Rescuing you."

"NO! Go back! Th-That's an order, Carter!"

"No chance in Netu, Sir. I'm not gonna lose you like this!"

When Major Carter reached him, she grabbed him around the waist as his grip finally slipped from the end of rope Teal'c had thrown to him. He clung to her. Teal'c could see the look in his eyes. Teal'c knew he was thinking he was more likely to kill Major Carter and himself like this. He shook his head, "L-Let go, Carter!"

"No Sir!"

"P-Please! You're g-g-gonna die!" he said desperately as their eyes locked for a second.

"I don't care! I'm not letting you go, Jack!"

With all the strength she had, she somehow managed to hold him up, which was nothing short of a miracle... and yet... she did not seem to find holding him up a difficult task. Teal'c knew that Major Carter did not have the strength to support O'Neill and not let him fall down the perilous abyss, especially due to the churned up ice that pounded against them. Teal'c pondered the situation as she looped one rope around O'Neill's waist. She knotted it tightly as Teal'c heard him murmur, "That was the- dumbest thing you ever did, C-Carter!"

"Thank you, Sir!" She called to Teal'c, "Pull him up!"

Teal'c dragged the limp form of Colonel O'Neill up the precipice as Major Carter did her best at ice climbing with Daniel Jackson, who pulled the rope taut and wrapped the next loop around the boulder, every time she climbed a bit. When O'Neill finally reached the top, Teal'c helped Major Carter to support him between them as they began to battle the deadly, freezing sludge to the bank where their other companion waited, shivering vigorously.

As they collapsed in the snowdrift on the bank, Teal'c looked at his friends. They would all die from hypothermia if he didn't find shelter and make them all as warm as possible.

"We must continue moving or you will all solidify!"

Major Carter rose up grudgingly dragging the Colonel up beside her. He groaned. As Major Carter murmured comfortingly to him, Teal'c began to make his way forwards. He made sure they all walked before him that way he would not lose any of them.

They stumbled forwards blindly as the blizzard hurled snow into their eyes. The wind howled as the snowstorm swirled around them. Teal'c heard Daniel yell, "Teal'c... Cave..."

Teal'c began to hurry them to the dark opening that appeared up ahead. They hurried into the darkness almost happily. The cave was at least dry, but it was still freezing. Then again they were all wearing sopping wet clothes.

The others all collapsed in a miserable, drenched, freezing pile on the floor. Major Carter shook permanently, Colonel O'Neill was unconscious within seconds and Daniel Jackson looked like a drenched rodent. He didn't have his glasses. They must've fallen down the cliff. The strange thing was that the anthropologist did not seem to be suffering from poor eyesight. He was acting as if he'd never lost his glasses.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in confusion. Just as he was about to inquire about Dr. Jackson's eyesight, Sam shuddered again more violently than she had been so far. He realised hypothermia would set in soon if he didn't warm them up.

He had managed to keep his pack dry. The rest of the team had thrown off their packs in desperation while clinging from the rock face against the freezing torrent that had surged over them.

He rummaged inside and pulled out two space blankets. That was peculiar, as he didn't remember having two present in his pack. His eyebrow raised another notch, but he continued searching in his pack. He found resources with which he could light a fire.

"Major Carter. Daniel Jackson. You must remove your wet attire."

The statement made Major Carter smile slightly, but she complied, as did Dr. Jackson. The Jaffa shook his head in amusement as both of them tried to hide from the other. It didn't seem entirely normal though. Major Carter did not get that embarrassed easily. Teal'c just lit the fire in a confused silence. His jacket was not wet and he would not need it as much as his friends.

He looked at them both. Major Carter shyly stood still shivering in her under garments, as was Daniel Jackson. He decided Major Carter deserved his jacket more. The poor woman didn't know what to do with herself. As he passed it to her, she shoved it over her head quickly. It covered her whole top half and it fell about her thighs. Teal'c was surprised the woman had not objected to him needing it as she would usually. Maybe it was the cold that was affecting her.

She glanced at O'Neill and blushed furiously. It was too cold for there to be any colour on her cheeks, so why was she blushing? Teal'c realised then that O'Neill was out cold on the floor in sopping wet clothes. He continued to tend the small flame that was flickering weakly. He found some MREs in his pack as he spoke to Major Carter.

"You must remove Colonel O'Neill's wet clothes items."

Daniel Jackson cut in, as Major Carter blushed even darker, "Don't worry, I think I'll do that!"

"Thanks," Major Carter murmured gently.

She turned away as Dr. Jackson sorted out O'Neill. Teal'c's mind was fixed on the fire. It was beginning to brighten up now. He put as much wood as he could spare on it. Soon he would attempt at cooking MREs. His friends would require the hot food.

"T-Teal'c?"

Teal'c glanced up at Daniel Jackson to see the man holding O'Neill's black t-shirt that was drenched in blood. Teal'c crawled over to the man. There was a huge wound in his side probably caused by his fall. The deep, jagged slash stretched from just above the man's hip to the ribcage where, by the looks of things, he'd broken two ribs.

Teal'c stated this to his friends as both gasped in shock. Major Carter spoke frightened, "He said he was in pain, but I thought... oh God!"

"There is no reason to despair yet, Major Carter. We must withstand the night and then a rescue team will be sent to retrieve us."

He grabbed his pack and pulled out bandages and gauze. It was the best he had to stop the blood. He began to dress the wound with the help of Daniel Jackson who seemed to have turned an interesting shade of green, although did not express the need to vomit.

He spoke as they finished, "O'Neill is badly injured, however if we do not distribute body heat he will be far worse."

Major Carter's vibrant shade of pink seemed to darken even further, as Daniel quickly grabbed one space blanket and huddled next to Teal'c. Teal'c looked at him in disbelief. Daniel Jackson would never do that to Major Carter. His actions were self-centred. Especially as they both knew that Major Carter was uncomfortable around O'Neill.

Teal'c shook his head in wonder. He had a feeling that something wasn't quite correct. He spoke again as he pulled his unconscious comrade near to him, "We must all conserve heat together. Major Carter, sit beside Daniel Jackson."

Major Carter cautiously picked up the other blanket and moved closer to Daniel. She was shaking violently, probably also from slight shock.

Teal'c felt Daniel shivering beside him as he tried to cook the MREs. Daniel stammered, "Hot f-food!"

"I will indeed attempt at producing provisions," Teal'c said gently.

"I'm so c-cold!"

"I had assumed."

Sam pulled herself closer to Daniel as she murmured, "Th-The fire is n-not working."

Indeed, little or no heat was being produced by the weak flames. However it produced light and that was still exceedingly important especially when it became dark.

The mission had been quite a disaster so far. They'd stepped through the Gate into the dark room. Once they'd opened the door they stepped out into a snow-covered forest. Colonel O'Neill, in an act of irrationality, had said they would continue into the snowstorm, as it was not very dangerous.

After an hour the storm picked up. They'd been walking past a glacier examining their surroundings in looks for civilisation similar to the room from the MALP reconnaissance. The glacier was quite fast flowing and was smashing powerfully against jagged rocks that stuck out from the surface. They were walking along the edge, when Daniel Jackson slipped. He sent the whole snowdrift into a mini-avalanche. Teal'c had latched onto a huge boulder. He looked up to see all his friends being pushed toward a cliff edge by the floating ice. They'd all managed to hold onto the edge, long enough for him to rescue them. He was at least grateful for that.

"T-Teal'c. He's w-waking up."

Teal'c looked over at Major Carter as she spoke. He noticed that Colonel stirring slightly beside him. Teal'c saw the care in the woman's eyes as she abandoned Daniel's side and crawled across the floor. She moved closer to the Colonel as she whispered, "He's even c-colder than I am." Colonel O'Neill's eyes opened slowly. He looked at Major Carter in shock as she murmured, "Colonel, d-do you know where we are?"

"K8... s-something!" he murmured back. He then stammered, "It's s-so cold."

Major Carter nodded and pulled herself slightly closer to the man, "I know, S-Sir. Just t-ry and get some sleep. I'll w-wake you when the f-food's ready, 'K?"

She'd barely said it before the Colonel was out cold again.

She looked up at Teal'c in despair as she murmured, "If w-e don't get back- to the G-Gate soon, he's gonna -die."

Teal'c realised the Major's words were the truth and that if he didn't escort them back to the Gate, O'Neill would be dead within a week.

~~~Å~~~

Daniel

The Show must go on. The Show must go on.
Inside my heart is breaking, my make-up may be flaking,
But my smile still stays on.

~The Show must go on~

~~~Å~~~

Daniel peeled away the blood-soaked bandage as Sam bit a piece of cloth to stop herself from screaming. The agony was vivid and dark in her usually pale eyes. Daniel winced as he saw the wound. It was caked with scarlet blood and dried mud. The charred skin was revolting and the skin was almost unrecognisable as skin.

Sam screamed through the cloth as Daniel tried to wipe the huge burn with a wet cloth. The wound was situated on Sam's right side and Sam had to lay almost completely still so as not to risk ripping the skin any more. The Jaffa's shot had just nicked her and so the wound was not fatal, not yet anyway.

Sam yelled as Daniel wiped again. He murmured apologetically, "I'm sorry, Sam, but I have to clean it."

Sam spat the cloth out of her mouth as she spoke, her voice still shaking from pain, "I know, Daniel, but don't worry about me! Look after the Colonel!"

Daniel felt tears in his eyes, "Sam, there's nothing I can do! I don't know what to do!"

"Well, stop helping me and find someway to help him!"

Daniel knew that look in Sam's eyes. She'd rather die than lose Jack. He'd known it for some time now, but this just proved to him it wasn't all his imagination.

Daniel just nodded meekly and crawled over to Jack. There was really nothing he could do. He'd splinted his leg and cleaned the wound on his shoulder, but Daniel knew his neck was broken. He was barely alive, but there was nothing he could do. If he even moved him slightly, he would die.

This mission had been one awful nightmare. The minute they'd stepped through the Gate they'd been captured by Apophis's serpent guards and Teal'c had then been brainwashed and turned back into First Prime.

They tried to escape and had succeeded up to the point when the serpent guards began shooting. Jack had thrown him out of the way of one shot, which had then hit him in the shoulder. He'd toppled backwards and fallen a few feet onto rocks. Sam, in a sudden rage, had run for the Jaffa shooting at least ten of them down. She'd received a shot to the side from none other than Teal'c, who then ordered they were thrown back in the cell.

All Daniel had suffered was a slight bruise from when Jack had shoved him over. Some how the Jaffa had got Jack back to the cell without killing him, but now they were not being given water and Daniel was on his own, in a sense.

This was his worst nightmare. There was no one here to help him get them out of here. He was the clumsy archaeologist, who could just about aim a weapon and had no training of how to cope in these kinds of situations. Jack couldn't be moved and Sam wasn't far off from that either. Teal'c was the bad guy again (how long had it been, four weeks!!!) and what was worse was that was, he had no way of getting them out. A chance of about a bazillion to one!

But he had to.

He turned back to Sam. She knew there was no chance they'd get out of this. Usually there would have still been a glint of hope in her eyes, albeit a small one, but there was nothing. It was incredibly un-Sam like. She almost never gave up. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember a time when Sam had ever given up completely.

But then again, he couldn't remember a time when Sam had lost it like she had earlier. Sam never lost her temper, least of all in the middle of a battle. He'd expect something like that from Jack, but Sam? It wasn't like her at all.

It was strange and Daniel had the eerie feeling he was being watched. The funny thing was he probably was. Apophis probably had some kind of camera rigged up in here, watching him failing to help his friends, just for their own sick enjoyment. But...

Daniel swivelled around. Nothing. No one. He was confused.

It didn't feel like he was being watched by a camera. He spent half his life in the SGC, where every move he made was recorded by a security camera. It felt a lot more daunting... as if there was someone here watching him. Someone sat feet away watching. As if there was someone stood in one of the shadowed corners, but there was no one.

He turned back to Jack and saw Sam watching him worried. Daniel knew the last thing Sam needed was for him to go nuts and from that little display Sam obviously thought he was. He felt sorry for her. The one thing she wanted to more than anything was help Jack and, though Daniel hated to admit it, Jack would be dead long before Daniel found a way to get them out of here. And now she had to deal with him and his crazy theories about invisible people stood watching him. Maybe he'd hit his head when Jack had shoved him over.

Sam spoke anxiously, "You OK, Daniel?"

"Yeah fine. Just feel as if I'm being watched..."

"Don't be so stupid, Daniel!" Sam answered snappily. Daniel flinched. Sam hadn't ever taken that tone with him before. I mean she'd bickered with Maybourne and other politicians like that, but Sam had never talked to him like that. Never. It was very strange.

He couldn't blame her. She was probably in absolute agony, she was stuck with an irritating and useless archaeologist while... the man she probably cared about more than any other was dying and another man she cared deeply about was strutting around with a hoard of Jaffa at his command.

"OK. Sorry Sam," he paused and sighed sadly, "There's nothing I can do for him..."

"Try harder," she said fiercely and then let out a small cry of pain. He looked at her as she caught her breath and her eyes fell onto the man lying beside her. Daniel saw tears in the woman's eyes as she murmured, "You have to try..."

A tear fell from her eye as she pulled a hand across her eyes. Daniel stared at her and murmured, "Your wound needs cleaning. I'll look at Jack again after I've sorted your wound out."

"Yeah," she gave a shuddery sigh and tried to give him a reassuring smile although it disappeared in a flash, "I'm sorry to flip at you, Daniel. It's just so frustrating. He's gonna die and I can't do a damn thing to help him."

"I know," he whispered as he crawled over to her and pulled the woman into his arms as she continued to cry, "I'm gonna do everything to keep him alive until a rescue team come for us, but until then I need to keep you well, or there may be two emergency patients for Janet when we get back."

Sam looked up at him still crying and pulled away slightly as she whispered, "If we get back."

"We will," Daniel said firmly as she stared at him. She shook her head hopelessly as he glanced at the inanimate man lying on the floor, "We have to."

She nodded gently as he looked at her and the burn on her side that seriously needed cleaning before it became infected, which in this place seemed an inevitability. If he could catch it quick enough it wouldn't happen.

He spoke softly, "Can I clean your side now?"

She looked at him for a second, sniffed and wiped her eyes again as she whispered, "OK."

Daniel spoke softly as he took the clean cloth again, "Now this will hurt a lot." She placed her handkerchief between her jaws again and bit down hard, squeezing her eyelids shut, as he murmured, "OK. Brace yourself."

~~~Å~~~

Sam

Those were the days of our lives,
The bad things in life were so few,
Those days are all gone now, but one thing is true,
When I look and I find I still love you.

~These are the Days of our lives~

~~~Å~~~

Sam's eyelids open with a shock. She shivered and pulled the blanket around her closer. She then realised she didn't know where the hell she was. The last thing she remembered was stepping through the Gate. She also realised she was in a bed in a cave-like room with no clothes on!

Her heart beat fast from fear. What had happened? She had absolutely no idea what had happened. Where were her team? Why in God's name was she naked in a bed in a cave?!?

She rolled over and realised that someone had been here. The uncomfortable mattress had a small dent where someone had been lying. She felt extremely frightened and self-conscious. She couldn't remember anything after stepping through the Gate on a routine mission to K8W 721.

Suddenly, the cloth covering the hewn doorway was pushed aside as a figure stepped into the room. The light from the room behind the screen blinded her momentarily and all she could see was a dark figure moving towards the bed. Sam almost screamed as the figure slid into the bed next to her.

She moved as far away as she could, covering herself with the blanket entirely.

"Sam? You OK?"

The familiar voice almost sent Sam tumbling over the side of the bed, "Daniel? Oh my God!" She gasped shocked, "Oh my God! Daniel!!!"

Daniel's worried face turned to her. Luckily he was wearing underwear! He stared at her, "Sam? What's wrong? You look pale." He went to touch her arm, but she pulled back wrapping the blanket tighter around her and moving as far away from him on the bed as she could.

"Don't touch me! What the hell just happened? Why am I here... with you?"

"Sam? You're worrying me! I don't understand! What's up with you?" he tried to move closer.

"Don't come any closer just... just stay there."

He held up his hands and didn't move an inch as he murmured, "OK. I won't move. Sam, it's me, it's Daniel. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong!?! What's wrong! This is wrong!" she looked down at herself and then at him.

"Sam?" he looked at her curiously as in finally understanding, "You don't know why you're here? You don't know where you are?"

She stared at him as she finally felt herself calming down slightly. She explained fearfully; "The last thing I remember was walking through the Gate with you, Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c on a routine mission to K8W 721. One minute I was laughing and joking with the Colonel and the next I wake up here with… you. Daniel, what's going on? Where are we?"

"You don't remember anything?" Daniel said his worried frown becoming equally as confused, "Oh God! You don't remember anything that has happened for the past nine years?"

"Nine years?" Sam mouth gaped, "Nine years!"

"Sam..." He was lost for words he just stared at her, "I think we need to talk. Get dressed and we can talk over breakfast."

When Daniel made no movement of leaving she said, "Daniel... can you go, please?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry Sam!" He grinned sheepishly as he grabbed some strange clothes from beside him, slipped them on hastily and hurried out of the room leaving her alone.

Nine years? She didn't remember nine years of her life! She looked around the dark and dreary 'room'. It was just a cave with a bed in it. The bed was just a straw mattress on a slab of rock with a blanket. Sam shivered again and looked around her for some clothes.

Why on Earth was she in bed... with Daniel?!? I mean she loved him, but not in that way! He was like her little brother! It was... weird even thinking about it!

By her side was a pair of trousers and a flowing top like the clothes Daniel had had. She also found her underwear and hurriedly got dressed. She slipped on a pair of sandals that lay by the bed and pushed the drape away from the door.

Daniel sat with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on some kind of table. She noticed that this was obviously the kitchen as there was a stack of bowls on the table and what looked like some home baked bread beside them. She also noticed that there were another two hewn doorways covered by cloth doors. From behind one came a faint light while the other looked dark like the bedroom had.

Daniel looked up at her and gave a small smile as she sat down on the huge hunk of wood that seemed to serve as a bench. He sighed gently as she turned to him, "Daniel. What happened? How did I end up here?"

"Well it's a long story... nine years long in fact," he looked at her and took a deep breath, "On K8W 721 we ran into Apophis. Sam, we never believed it possible, but his fleet was huge. We couldn't get back through the Gate, but we managed to hide from the Jaffa. You built a bomb using some C-4 and Naquidah. Apophis's fleet had created a force shield large enough to cover the whole fleet, which included at least twelve mother ships. In the centre of the ship was the generator.

"We stole two death gliders and flew out of there. We blew up the generator and destroyed all the ships. The problem was that Apophis wasn't on the ships. He called together all the Goa'uld to tell them how we destroyed his fleet. Of course the Goa'uld were scared and immediately decided we were a threat. They decided the best way to deal with us would be to take us out," he sighed exasperatedly, "Meanwhile on Earth, Senator Kinsey shut down the SGC..."

"He what?!?"

"I know! It was the biggest mistake he ever made... Anyway, the SGC was closed and we all left. You didn't rejoin the Pentagon, but decided to do work in Colorado instead, I went to stay in New York and worked in the archaeological museum, Teal'c went home to Chulak to live with Rya'c and Jack retired..." He gave Sam a sideways glance. He coughed awkwardly, "A year later you and Jack got married..."

"M-M-married? The Colonel and... me? You're kidding?" he shook his head and stared at her seriously, "M-arried? As in... As in...?"

"Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill," Daniel smiled gently, "That was one of the happiest days of your life..."

Sam sat there in a shocked silence. I mean she liked the Colonel, a little more than she should, but... married!

Daniel continued, "You became pregnant a few months later..."

"Whoa whoa whoa! Wait a second... Pregnant? Pregnant with... pregnant with Colonel O'Neill's baby?"

"Uh... yeah. In a manner of speaking," Daniel said awkwardly.

"Daniel, tell me," Sam said seriously.

"Pregnant with Jack's Babies, Sam. Josh and Amy O'Neill. The twins were born on 12th June. It's their eighth birthday in just over a month..."

Sam had frozen when he'd said Josh and Amy O'Neill. That was the imaginary family she had with...

OK OK. So she had thought about being married to Colonel O'Neill before, but it made no sense! Those kids were imaginary, a dream, unless she was thinking they were imaginary when she was actually having real memories. She was so bewildered she couldn't tell her imagination from what really might have happened.

Daniel continued, "You guys were the happiest couple in Colorado Springs. When the twins were having their fourth birthday, Janet called you and told you that General Hammond needed to speak to us urgently. We all rushed to see General Hammond. He told us that the Tok'ra had discovered the Goa'uld building more than 400 mother ships," Sam gasped, "They'd been building for almost five years. The Tok'ra said they would be finished within four months and would be on their way, with both the new mother ships and some others, to destroy Earth."

"Oh God!"

"Yeah. General Hammond tried to tell Kinsey, but he wouldn't listen. He said that we were making it up so we could get the Stargate Programme back up and running. We tried at least twenty times to change his mind so we could start evacuating people to a Beta site, but he wouldn't listen.

"You spent the next few months working in a covert operation to build a weapon with Naquidah, but you couldn't come up with anything. No one could. The Goa'uld attack was growing more imminent and everyone was worried out of their minds. Jack confided in me about how worried he was. He was terrified, Sam. I've never seen him so scared in my whole life."

"What was he worried about?"

"Don't you see!" Daniel said sadly, "He was frightened of losing his family. He'd already lost one family and he didn't want to lose another. He didn't want to lose the twins, he didn't want to lose you and he didn't want to lose the baby..."

Sam let out a small groan and put her head in her hands. Daniel winced apologetically, "Sorry! I forgot you don't know..."

Sam sighed and looked up as she whispered, "It's OK, Daniel, just carry on."

"OK, so Jack was concerned and he began to beg Senator Kinsey to start evacuations or at least send teams through the Gate to destroy the Goa'uld base from where the attack was originating from. Kinsey wouldn't agree and Jack almost got taken away by the cops for attacking him..." Sam gave him a shocked look. He continued, "Well, not attacking as such! It was more threatening to rip him limb from limb... but that's not the point! Jack got together a group of people, including, Teal'c and some of his friends who wanted to help us destroy the Goa'uld..."

"How did the Colonel contact Teal'c if he was on Chulak?"

Daniel sat in silence for a second as if making up an excuse. That was strange. He then said hurriedly, "He used a Goa'uld communication device that he found in Area 51... and, before you ask, Maybourne was on our side and smuggled it out for us. When they'd contacted Teal'c, Jack had finished making plans for their mission. He got help from at least eighty willing airmen plus a good score of Jaffa.

"One night they broke into the storage facility where the Gate was held and they all gated to Chulak. From Chulak they went to the Goa'uld base." Daniel stared at his hands uncomfortably as he spoke, "it was a catastrophe! Only one man survived. Teal'c managed to get a death glider with the help of Jack, but then Jack was shot trying to help one of the airmen. Teal'c saw him fall and quickly left in the death glider," Sam gasped at the thought. She'd never married Jack and yet the more Daniel spoke about him being her husband the more she felt she really was...

"He found the nearest planet and gated to Earth. He was badly wounded and Janet looked after him. When he was finally able to speak the first words he said were, 'I must see Samantha O'Neill immediately'. They sent for you and when Teal'c told you Jack had died, you collapsed. Janet got you to a bed worried that you might hurt yourself or the baby. At the time I was looking after the twins for you, when I got the call from the SGC telling me what happened.

He sighed sadly, "I rushed to the air force hospital with Josh and Amy. Jack had told you about the mission, but you had never expected him to die. You were devastated. The twins were crying all day and in the end you cracked. I found you with a gun in your hand about to shoot yourself in the toilets. I stopped you, but everyone was worried that you had psychological problems after that. They almost took the twins away, but Janet and me stopped them. They were seriously considering locking you up and making you have an abortion."

Sam sat in silence for a few minutes, her mind still reeling over the facts she'd been given. He was dead. In the pit of her stomach she felt an overwhelming feeling of loss. She felt frightened and alone and all she wanted was him. She didn't know where the feelings had come from so suddenly. She guessed it was from the part of her that remembered her life with him.

She realised she'd gotten distracted and Daniel was waiting to continue. She stared at him as she whispered brokenly, "Keep going."

Daniel observed her warily before continuing with his account, "Three weeks later, we were told that the Goa'uld ships had entered our solar system and were amassing out somewhere in the region of Pluto. Senator Kinsey restarted the Stargate programme, but we only managed to get one twelfth of the world's population through the Gate before they arrived. Billions of people were still on Earth when the ships came. Everyone thought they would just destroy us, but instead the system lords divided us up and took us as slaves. Cronos requested that all SGC personnel were given to him, but so did lots of the system lords. In the end they quarrelled over us and we were all split up." He sighed, "We are now property of Lord Yu. Luckily, he doesn't have a huge hatred for us so we haven't really been tortured or bothered in any way..."

"So... we're slaves. Off world?"

"Yes. Welcome to H8R 524!" Daniel said sarcastically, "We'd been living here about three months when you had Lizzie on February 3rd. You were silent for almost two weeks afterwards, but you finally realised that you should stop moping. You have three great kids and even in death Jack still loves you and that's all that matters. So you carried on being Mrs. O'Neill and that was about three years ago."

Sam stared at her feet still trying to get her head around it. It was just so much to take in. Daniel smiled gently, obviously trying in vain to cheer her up, "Pretty interesting nine years you missed, huh?"

Suddenly, a small yawn from behind her made her jump. She swivelled around as a boy wandered into the kitchen. He was quite tall for his age and thin. He had pale blue eyes and sandy hair. He had a spattering of freckles on his nose and was also wearing the clothes she now realised were slave attire. He grinned at her and she knew that grin very well, "Morning, Mom."

As he gave her a peck on the cheek, she flinched, but he didn't noticed and sat down beside her. He rubbed his eyes as he yawned, "Morning Daniel."

Daniel smiled at the boy as he said fondly, "Hey, Josh. Are your sisters getting up soon?"

He shrugged in an all too familiar way, "I dunno." He turned to Sam and spoke seriously, "Mom, Amy had nightmares again. They were worse this time. Lizzie was pretty upset, but I managed to get her back off to sleep."

Daniel looked worried again, "Poor Amy. I thought she'd gotten over the nightmares?"

Josh shook his head, "Nope. She's still having them."

Daniel spoke to Sam, concerned, "Do you want me to check on her?" He raised his eyebrow slightly. She understood. For crying out loud, she didn't even remember her kids. Though she did because she'd invented them... No! They were real she could see that! They'd never been her imagination!

Daniel got up and wandered into the other dark room, leaving Sam and Josh sat alone at the table. Sam turned and stared at the little boy. He looked about seven, which Sam reminded herself, he was. He smiled at her and she noticed he was missing a tooth. When she didn't return the gesture, he looked at her worried, "Mom? You OK?"

She felt tears welling in her eyes. It was so confusing! She felt scared to death because she had no idea what was going on. He spoke again in a whisper, "Did you have an argument with Daniel?" She shook her head as the boy spoke again, "Are you sad about... Dad?"

She looked at him shocked as she felt one tear rolling down her cheek. She gave a small snivel as she spoke, "I don't know why, but when I woke up this morning... I couldn't remember the past nine years of my life."

Josh stared at her in disbelief, "Nine years! You're kidding right?" He gave a small laugh, but when more tears began to roll down her cheeks he stopped and put his arm around her, "You're not joking, are you?"

"No. I'm not," she murmured, "I don't remember marrying the Colonel or having you or when Colonel O'Neill died or the Goa'uld taking over the world or becoming a slave... it's just gone as if it never actually happened."

"But, it did! It did!" The boy spoke quite sharply and Sam stared at him in shock. The boy immediately softened, "Sorry, Mom. The boys at school were saying that we've always lived here and that Yu created us. Nobody believes me."

She gave a small smile to the boy, which she hoped would reassure him that his Mom hadn't lost it, as Daniel stepped in carrying a little girl in his arms. She had golden-brown hair that was tied back in two plaits. She rubbed her dark brown eyes tiredly as Daniel sat her on his knee. She was wearing a worn, cream nightdress and holding an old teddy bear with one eye hanging off and a rip on its paw. She yawned tiredly and then noticed Sam through her heavy eyelids.

She stood up and clambered over to her collapsing in her lap heavily. She sighed contentedly and snuggled closer into Sam's body. Sam felt her arms instinctively enclosing the child close.

The girl clasped Sam's hand and began playing with the wedding rings Sam had just noticed encircling her finger. The little girl spun the bands around, as she felt them with her tiny fingers. One was a circle of gold with three stones on it. There were two bluey-green stones either side of a clear diamond. They glinted in the warm light of the overhanging lamp. The other ring was just plain, but it was obviously very important. Her wedding ring. The wedding and marriage she couldn't even remember.

From somewhere a horn blew and Daniel stood with the five bowls, "Josh, you gonna come help me?"

"Sure, Daniel," he slipped on a pair of sandals that lay by the door and grabbed a couple of bowls.

"Wait for me!" A voice came from the children's room as a girl ran out she was trying to do up the buttons on her cardigan as she ran along. She tripped and fell to her knees, "Oh for crying out loud!" She grumbled angrily as she rose from the floor. She spotted Sam and ran to her. Sam immediately began to do up the buttons as the girl plaited her hair. She had very long sandy hair the same colour as Josh's. She also had pale blue eyes, but they had red marks beneath them. Amy had had nightmares.

The girl smiled lovingly and gave her a peck on the cheek as Sam did up the top button, "Thanks, Mom."

She ran to the door slipped on her own sandals grabbed a bowl and followed Daniel and Josh out of the other door, that Sam assumed led out of their... cave.

She sighed softly and looked down at the little girl sat on her lap. Lizzie looked up at her with her big, gorgeous eyes and grinned widely, showing off her set of tiny white teeth. Her eyes were exactly the same as Colonel O'Neill's. She sighed gently as the tiny girl jumped off her lap grabbed her hand and waddled into the children's bedroom.

It was similar to her room except there was one single bed and a double bed. Also a small chest sat in the corner which Sam could see had their 'toys' in.

The little girl clambered onto the double bed and pointed to her shirt and trousers that lay on the stone shelf sticking out above it. Sam realised the girl was wearing her nightdress and that due to her height, or lack of, she couldn't reach. As Sam pulled the clothes off the shelf and sat down, the tiny child ran across the mattress and fell flat on her face in front of her. The girl grinned and gave a small giggle.

She smiled fondly at her little girl. She was trying hard to pull her nightdress over her hair, but just couldn't and had managed to tangle herself up in it. Sam gently removed Lizzie's arms from the sleeves and pulled it over her head. The little girl pulled on her shirt as Sam fastened it up gently. The child seemed to watch her as she helped her to put her trousers on. Sam then sat the girl on her knee and redid the short plaits of thin brown hair, fastening them tightly with the small white ribbons. When she finished, Lizzie turned to her, smiled brightly in a way only children can smile and crawled off the bed. She toddled over to the box and from it she pulled out a book.

The girl passed it to Sam as she clambered back onto the bed. Sam pulled herself up so she leant against the wall and looked at the front cover.

"I should have known!" she smiled at the little girl, who crawled into her arms and yawned cutely.

Sam opened the book and gasped gently. On the first page was handwriting she knew:

To Josh and Amy,

Happy Birthday!
I'll read this to you when I get the chance!

Love Mom and Dad

XXXXX XXXXX

Sam stared at the writing feeling an urge to cry. The girl looked at her worriedly and then pointed at the book as if telling her to start reading. Despite her sadness, Sam chuckled slightly as the girl frowned as if showing her she was the boss.

Sam turned the first page and began to read softly:

"The Cyclone. Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer's wife. Their house was small..."

She paused as she heard Daniel and the twins come back from wherever they had been.

"Sam?"

"In here," she replied as they all trundled in.

Amy gasped and ran to the bed, "Mommy's reading!" She was carrying two bowls of soup. It smelt heavenly even though it didn't look as good. Amy passed her one bowl.

They all sat on the double bed and ate the breakfast hungrily, Daniel helping the small toddler and trying to prevent the child getting covered in soup.

When they'd finished, Sam began again as everyone, including to her slight surprise Daniel, listened with rapt attention. She read at least seven chapters before a horn blew and echoed around the dwelling.

"Right," Daniel said looking at the twins, "You guys ready for school?"

"Yeah," they both answered in unison. Josh looked at Sam worried for a second, "Is Mom gonna be alright?"

"She'll be fine. She's just a little under the weather this morning. Now go before you miss registration."

Amy gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek as she picked up a small satchel from the side. It had a curly 'A' sewn onto it. Josh did the same picking up an identical school bag with a 'J'.

"Bye, Mom. Bye, Daniel."

"See ya after school, Kids," Daniel said, as both twins hugged the little girl sat in Sam's lap.

"Bye, Lizzie," Amy murmured gently as she smiled at the little girl who waved as they dashed out of the room, "We'll be back to play later!"

Sam heard the cloth 'front door' flap as the children ran past it. She sighed gently, feeling content and empty, sad and happy at the same time. This was all so surreal!

She stared at the small girl on her lap. She could have sworn these kids were precisely the ones she'd imagined... nine years ago. She didn't know how, but something just didn't add up about all this.

She realised she still didn't know why she'd been in bed with Daniel! She seemed to be trying to avoid it. She'd already been told today that she'd forgotten almost a decade of her life, that she'd been married to her CO, that they'd had three kids together, that the Goa'uld had taken over the world, that she was a slave and, the one thing that seemed the most hard to come to terms with, Colonel O'Neill was dead.

Sam didn't believe it. Jack was here! She could feel he was nearby, but there was something else. He was distant.

Daniel smiled at the little girl on Sam's knee, "Did you ask Mommy to start reading?"

Lizzie nodded, her small, pearly-white teeth grinning cutely. Sam looked at him confused. Daniel sighed, "Ever since Jack died you haven't had the heart to read it. Amy reads it to the other two, but her reading's not very good. Slaves have no need for intellect," Daniel said quite indignantly.

Sam shook her head and spoke, "Daniel, I don't know why, but I think Colonel O'Neill is still alive! It's as if he's here, but not here. As if we're in the same room, but not."

"Don't be stupid!" Daniel snapped, "How can you be in the same room?"

Sam was shocked, "It was just a thought...!"

"I'm sorry, Sam," he murmured apologetically, "I miss him a lot as well. He was my best friend."

Sam smiled slightly, as he got up, "I've gotta go to work. I get to chop wood!" He said with sarcastic enthusiasm.

Sam gave him a small smile as he left. Lizzie turned to her and frowned as if showing her authority and then pointed back at the book lying in her arms. Sam realised what made that expression so familiar. She knew precisely who the small child had gotten that from. She smiled fondly and placed a soft kiss on the girl's head, as she continued to read.

~~~Å~~~

Two weeks had passed and Sam was finally learning to live with her sudden memory loss. Although she couldn't remember anything that had happened, she knew what had happened and that was comforting. At least she now had a better chance of remembering places, things and… people.

She'd realised certain things about her family after a few days that played heavily on her mind. Lizzie never spoke. She hadn't asked why because something told her she really didn't want to know. There was something sinister about it that gave her a sick feeling in her stomach that she couldn't explain.

She had discovered that Amy suffered from chronic nightmares. Almost every night the young girl would have a nightmare. Daniel said she'd been having them since the day Jack had died and at the mention of her husband's name, Sam hadn't pursued further on the subject...

Josh was asthmatic. Luckily, he'd only ever had one serious asthma attack and he'd been five, also just after Jack had died. At the time, it had been fine. They'd been on Earth and he'd had a proper inhaler. They had medicine now, although it wasn't very good and chances were if he had another serious attack he would die.

The final member of her family she didn't ask about.

Jack...

She never asked about him and no one ever spoke about him. The only person who'd even said his name after her conversation with Daniel had been Amy when she'd had nightmares and even then it had been 'Dad'.

Sam sighed. She'd been here for over two weeks and she still didn't remember the past nine years. She wondered if she ever would or if she'd spend the rest of her life without a single comforting memory.

She sat in the children's bedroom fixing one of Amy's nightdresses, as Daniel walked in with Lizzie. They'd been for a walk, not that there was much to see.

He grinned at her as he bent down so Lizzie could run to her Mom. She jumped into Sam's lap and Sam smiled pulling the little girl into a hug.

Daniel gave her a small kiss on the cheek and murmured, "Had a good day?"

"It was OK. Still haven't remembered anything. I fixed your journal for you," she nodded towards Daniel's old notebook on her left.

His grin widened as he grabbed it, "Thanks."

The book must be at least ten years old! He'd had it since before Sam's blank memory spot. She smiled, "Just needed to be retied with string. It's still not very secure, but it'll do alri..."

She gasped as a surge of something went through her and she grabbed handfuls of the blanket tightly. It felt as though she'd been split. The feeling cleaved her in half as Daniel's anxious face, Lizzie's frightened tears and the cave-like room began to faze in and out with another place. It felt as though she was being… copied. As though she were in two places at once.

The other place began to sharpen and focus and she found herself sat by a lake. The sun was rising over the mountains. It was beautiful. It was then she realised her head was lying on someone's shoulder.

She turned to face him and as she saw his face she gasped in her head. She tried to pull away from him, but she couldn't move. She had no control over what she did! She felt herself speaking although she couldn't hear a word she spoke. It was like watching a TV in mute. The volume began to increase, as did the nauseous feeling pounding in her head and writhing in the bottom of her stomach, like some really intense form of travel sickness.

She felt her body involuntarily leaning towards him to kiss him. He looked at her shocked and pulled back. Her lips moved again as she heard her words, "Why won't you kiss me?" Her voice didn't sound like her own, in fact she could hear two voices speaking at the same time in her head. One was hers, but was speaking in a tone she'd never spoken in before, the other was a highly familiar voice. A man... she couldn't work out who though!

"You're not Carter!" Jack growled as he leapt away from her.

"Kiss her! That's what we want to see and yet you still resist! The woman you love just declared her love for you and you still won't! Colonel O'Neill, you are too hard to please!" She heard the two voices say. She couldn't put her finger on the man's voice...

She felt herself being tugged back to the cave. As the lake finally melted from view, she saw cloaked figures and the look of disbelief and shock on Jack's face...

"Sam? Sam! Can you hear me?"

She blinked and found Daniel staring into her eyes. What had just happened? She began to realise something. The voice, the cloaked figures... they'd been familiar, but she couldn't place when she'd seen them before

She looked at Daniel. He was staring at her worried, waiting for her to speak, "I can hear you, Daniel."

"Sam! You just fazed out! You looked like you were in a trance! Are you OK?"

"Yeah," she murmured, "I'm fine."

Daniel's face-hardened suddenly and then his expression became sad, "Hallucinations," he said slightly, "It's happened before. Have you got a headache or anything?"

"No."

Daniel released a small relieved sigh, "Good." Sam turned to Daniel desperately, "Daniel, I saw cloaked figures and I heard a voice. I've seen them and heard that voice before!"

Daniel looked around and then spoke in a whisper, "You've had that delusion before. Sam, listen to me. Don't tell anyone about that. If they think you're crazy, they'll kill you or say you can't look after the children and take you away to Lord Yu."

"What?"

Daniel sighed, "Sam, Yu wanted you to be his... slave, but you were pregnant. When you had Lizzie, he wanted to take you, but I argued he couldn't take you until Lizzie had grown up. For some strange reason he listened to me and decided he would wait until then."

Lizzie looked at her and then pulled an imaginary zip across her lips. Daniel gave a small chuckle, "She learnt pretty early, that the day she started speaking would be the day he took you. We didn't even tell her. She just... knew," Daniel smiled at the little girl, "If you ask me, she's more like her Mom than she appears."

Sam smiled at that and the little girl came back into her arms, "So, you don't talk?" Lizzie shook her head and then stuck her thumb back in her mouth.

"Alright then," Sam murmured softly, feeling a tender smile on her face.

Then she heard a scream…

~~~Å~~~

Part Two

I want to break free. I want to break free.
I want to break free from your lies,
You're so self-satisfied. I don't need you.
I've got to break free.
God knows! God knows I want to break free!

~I Want to Break Free~

~~~Å~~~

Jack

There's no chance for us. It's all decided for us.
This world has only one sweet moment,
Set aside for us.

~Who wants to live Forever~

~~~Å~~~

Jack entered the General's office cautiously as the man observed him, taking a sip of steaming coffee from the mug in his hands. He spoke as he placed the mug down, "It's great to see you, Colonel and I apologise for my behaviour in the Gate room this morning."

Jack gave his friend a small sigh, "It's understandable from what I've heard."

General Hammond nodded and then motioned to the chair before his desk, "Please take a seat, Colonel."

Jack moved to the chair and lowered himself down into it as he murmured, "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

The General sighed wearily, "I've been told you've been... extremely wilful about seeing Dr. Jackson, Major Carter and Teal'c."

"Major?"

The General seemed to freeze for a split second, as if in blunder, before lifting his coffee and taking a sip hurriedly, before saying, "I'm so used to talking to you about Major Carter, I almost forget..." He sighed again and fixed Jack with an apologetic look, "There is something I need to tell you before I allow you to see them."

Jack's hopes lifted for a second as he said, "I can see them?"

The General snorted slightly, "Yes, Son. I've decided you should meet with them." His smile fell as he spoke seriously, "There is something about Dr. Carter that I should tell you."

Jack decided not to let the General know that he knew precisely what he was talking about. He spoke, feigning curiosity and anxiety, "What?"

"The inhabitants of K8W 721 somehow affected Dr. Carter's brain. We don't know how or why they did, but the effects caused serious fits."

"Oh God," Jack exclaimed, not entirely acting.

General Hammond took another sip of coffee and continued, "We didn't realise when she first returned as her first fit came a week after. Dr. Fraiser had just given her clearance to leave the base. Dr. Carter was driving home when she had a serious seizure and her car swerved straight across the road, two cars hitting it simultaneously on each side."

Jack sat in a shocked silence as he realised what the General was saying. The older man continued in his serious low tone, placing the hot mug on the table, "Thankfully, no one in the other cars were seriously injured, but... Dr. Carter's back was broken severely and she only just pulled through. Truth is Colonel… she's paralysed from the waist down."

"Jesus," Jack murmured, the shock finally sinking in. When he'd heard the conversation in the Infirmary a few minutes ago… it just didn't seem real. Everything was finally registering with his brain. It wasn't just a nightmare... this was really happening...

The General spoke again, "Dr. Carter's seizure haven't stopped and an 'old acquaintance' of ours has expressed a concern that she should be placed in special care. As far as we can tell we have managed to hide some of the Doctor's problems from him, but we know it can't be long until he discovers them."

"What other problems?"

General Hammond's age was beginning to show as he pulled a hand over his face with a sigh, "I've been told by quite a few people that she is suicidal and that she often drifts off into silent trances, her mind elsewhere. She has slight delusions... and it was reported that she sits in your quarters and talks to you." The General gave him a look before continuing, "Her health has been extremely poor and Dr. Fraiser informed me only today that... she won't be with us for much longer. She assured me she will be around for a year at the least, a year and a half being the predicted maximum. I'm sorry, Colonel. This must be hard for you. I know how much you care about Samantha."

Jack looked at the man shocked. First of all he'd mentioned 'feelings' and secondly, he'd called her Samantha. He either called her Dr. Carter or Sam, but never Samantha.

The General fixed him with that omniscient look again! "Don't look so surprised, Jack. I've known for quite some time how you two feel about each other," the man said, his blue eyes boring into Jack, "Returning home, not realising you were ever gone, discovering you've missed almost 3 years of your life and then finding out... someone you care about deeply is extremely sick must be difficult for you."

"Yeah," Jack mumbled not really sure what else he could say. He observed his superior officer as the man nodded gently.

After a second he murmured, "I'll summon Dr. Carter, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c. You will all meet in the Briefing room, tomorrow 1000 hrs. Understood?"

Wow. The General was pretty high strung! Jack nodded mutely and stood as the General muttered, "Dismissed."

As Jack left he couldn't help but notice the General's coffee mug… and the fact it wasn't on a coaster!

If there was one thing Jack O'Neill knew about his CO, it was the fact mugs always had to be on a coaster. Hammond didn't care about most mess, but that irritated him. So why was the hot coffee mug sat on the polished wooden surface?

Jack's eyebrow rose, but he didn't comment as he left the room, his 'Bodyguards' leading him back to his quarters.

~~~Å~~~

The next day at 1000hrs, Jack O'Neill stood outside the briefing room waiting to be called to enter. Daniel, Sam and Teal'c were all in there, the General, no doubt, trying to explain so as not to send them into shock induced comas when he entered... Jack shuddered. The fact that Sam actually might...

The SF beside him picked up the phone by the door as it let out half a shrill ring. The man spoke, "Yes, Sir," he looked up at Jack and gave a small nod.

Jack took in a deep breath to compose himself, before gently opening the door and slowly stepping into the room.

Straight away, his eyes fell on his team and he felt his heart clench in his chest. Teal'c sprang from his seat as if someone had suddenly poured molten metal all over his head. The look of complete and utter disbelief on the Jaffa's usual expressionless face made Jack blink.

Upon entering Daniel had fallen, most ungraciously, from his seat and was now still collapsed in a heap on the floor peering over the top of the table at him in unprecedented surprise as he whispered, "Oh my God!"

The person who Jack wanted and feared seeing the most was sat in her wheelchair with her back facing him. He knew from the way the muscles in her shoulders tensed and the way her hands, that had been lying on the table, relaxed before he entered, now were pressing into the table so hard they were turning white, that Sam was terrified of turning around.

He didn't blame her. In her position he would be too. He knew Samantha Carter well and knew that she conquered fear better than anyone he'd ever seen. She'd turn around. She wasn't one for sticking her head in the sand!

Slowly, still in her rigid position Samantha Carter reached one hand down to the rim of the wheel, her eyes closed as if still fearing what she would see, she turned her wheelchair until she faced him.

In the background he could see everyone else had frozen like statues, barely breathing from trepidation and anticipation of the moment the beautiful, although now handicapped, doctor opened her eyes and saw him.

The General had stood as he'd entered and was stood at the head of the table his blue eyes fixed on Sam and himself. Teal'c had moved to the back of Daniel's chair, helping the man to his feet and they now stood close together, staring at Jack as if they'd just witnessed a resurrection. Jack guessed in a way they had...

It was then he saw movement before him. Sam's eyelids flickered as hesitantly her eyes opened... She stared at him blankly. Her jaw didn't drop and she didn't suddenly start fitting... she just stared at him with her breathtaking eyes.

Everyone else suddenly disappeared. Only he and Sam seemed to exist. She was in her jeans and white t-shirt, her pristine lab coat on top of that, sat in that wheelchair, her wide, deep blue eyes staring up into his, making him feel as if he could drown in them. She wasn't moving an inch as if she was frightened to even breathe, as if he would disappear all of a sudden if she took her eyes off him.

He suddenly found his voice and it came out in a small croak as he whispered, "Sam?"

That's when her expression cracked. Her whole body began to tremble, her eyes began to water and a soft whine of absolute loss and agony left her lips for a second as she whispered, "J-J..." She gave a soft gasp, "Oh my god! I-It's you... You're alive!"

In one swift movement Jack moved forward and fell to his knees before her, Sam throwing herself from her wheelchair into his arms. She was shaking hard and Jack could faintly hear a voice, must be the General, alerting Dr. Fraiser.

She pulled her face back and stared at him as she murmured, "We... I... Oh God!" She used her arms fiercely pulling him to her tightly. She began crying as Jack began to rub her back gently, trying to calm her slightly. Beneath his fingers he could feel the way her bones were damaged toward her lower back. He looked down at her legs. They were quite literally thrown to the side out of the way.

Jack winced at the thought when he felt Sam convulsing fiercely. The Doctor and her medical team chose the correct time to speed into the room, pulling Sam from him.

He looked on helplessly, the Doc and her medical team injecting her with something. He felt absolute horror at what he was witnessing. Slowly, as whatever Fraiser had injected her with began to take effect, the convulsions in her body stopped and she finally lay still on the floor taking a huge gasp for air and beginning to choke and splutter.

Jack noticed for the first time that Daniel and Teal'c were now knelt beside her. Daniel clasped her hand tightly as he hushed the violently choking woman, who looked extremely pale and sickly from her sprawled position on the floor, legs still bent at odd angles, lifeless and practically dead.

Sam finally calmed down as the gentle Doctor and her team lifted the woman onto the gurney they'd brought with them. Janet spoke tiredly, "Let's get her to the Infirmary. See if you can run a scan on her brain for any causes..."

"But Doctor, you know that there never is..."

"Well, maybe this time there will be!" The Doctor snapped before apologising to the young male nurse, "Sorry, Pete. Just try anyway."

"Yes, Ma'am," he mumbled as him and the rest of the medical staff left with Sam on the gurney.

~~~Å~~~

Jack sat by Sam's bedside, looking at her beautiful face intently, as if wanting to remember everything about it in one instant. He'd known for a long while how he felt about Samantha Carter and truth was he'd been in denial about it from that split second on some unimportant day, whilst on some unimportant mission. That split second when, without warning, one small and innocent, yet powerful and dangerous, thought floated into his head...

'I love her.'

Jack sighed gently. Sam had been unconscious for about 5 hours. In those 5 hours, he'd never left the Infirmary and had been talking with Teal'c and Daniel. Once they'd both got over the shock that he was alive, they'd told him everything that had been happening around here whilst he'd been gone. Daniel and Janet even taught him what to do if Sam began fitting, both of them quite rightly assuming Jack was never moving more than 10 yards away from her... for the rest of her life...

Now they'd both gone, probably to give him some time alone, even though both had made up excuses that were so lame Jack couldn't even remember them now. The truth was that Jack was glad they were gone. When they were near he had a sick feeling in his stomach, something just not sitting right.

A flicker of blue caught Jack's attention and without realising it he was staring into Sam's eyes. He smiled hesitantly at the look of horror on her face as she stared at him, "Hi Sam."

"Oh my God! It can't be..."

"It's me," Jack sighed and then looked away unwilling to watch in case the woman began to fit again. That had been so scary...

"It wasn't a dream... You... You're really here?"

He felt gentle fingers clasp round his as she let out a gasp. He couldn't help it. He turned to look at her. And she was smiling.

Jack felt himself smile back as Sam pulled him into another tight hug, "Oh Jack! I can't believe... You are... I can't believe..." She hugged him even tighter as she shuddered with shock, tears building in her beautiful eyes, "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"Actually I do. Well, sorta," Jack replied.

"What?"

Jack cleared his throat, "Yesterday, when Janet kicked you out of my quarters, it was because of me. The General didn't want everyone to know I'd returned for some reason, so I was confined to quarters... I found that letter... addressed to me..."

Sam stared at him sadly for a second, "No one can understand what this is like for me."

"Who dragged the pen from your hand?"

"What?" Sam frowned at then closed her eyes slowly in realisation. She spoke without opening them, "No one. I cried myself into a fit." Her beautiful blue eyes opened again as she put on a smile, "Can we stop talking about this? You've probably heard enough from everyone else and I really don't like talking about it."

Jack nodded and then frowned curiously, "I can't tell what month it is because there are no windows! What's the date?"

"30th May."

"It's May! Really! Man, I need a new calendar!" She grinned at that. He continued, "May. I like May."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"You know!" She looked worried for a second and then lost the look, "I always go to my cabin in May. It's so peaceful that time of year. Minnesota's great and I love my cabin..."

"I never went when I had the chance," she sighed gently and then leant her head on his shoulder, "Tell me. What's it like?"

Jack didn't know how he could explain it to her. He sighed and looked at her, "Why don't I show you?"

She opened her eyes wide and smiled, "Really? You'll take me!"

"Of course. Why not?"

"For a start Janet won't be too happy..."

"I know what to do. I've been learning from Daniel and the Doc," he said seriously as she nodded and smiled quietly.

"Also, I didn't think you'd want to take me," she glanced at the wheel chair beside her, "I thought you'd never... like... me again..." her voice trailed away as she looked into his eyes.

"You're meant to be smart, but that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say!" he let out a small chuckle, "Carter, I will always... like... you," Sam snorted at Jack's voice. She smiled happily, "I always have and I always will."

"So," she stared into her lap, "You don't think I'm ugly…"

"Are you nuts?!? Carter?" he cupped her face in his hand forcing her to look into his eyes as he spoke, "You're beautiful and I know this sounds really corny, but it's not just about what you look like that matters. I like you, not what you look like! No! That sounds wrong! Ah damn! I'm not good at this!"

She just chuckled, "I know you don't have a clue what to say, but you don't have to say anything!" She leant in and kissed him on the cheek. He pulled back shocked. He stared at her for a second. He knew he loved her. He'd loved her almost from Day One, but this... this was strange. Carter would find it too awkward to kiss him like there had never been any regulations between them. She just wouldn't...

And what was just as strange was that she'd just repeated what the Sam who'd come through the Quantum Mirror had said when he'd found out that in her reality they'd been married. The strange thing was he'd never told Carter about that moment so how did she know word for word what she'd said?

He shook the thought away deciding to carry on as normal even though he had the feeling everything was not as it seemed.

He grinned, "Right. Pack your bags. We're going to Minnesota when the Doc releases you!"

~~~Å~~~

Four days later, they arrived at the cabin. Once there, Jack and Sam spent the whole day reminiscing about the good old times. Jack couldn't help but grin. Samantha Carter was sat in his old arm chair in his cabin in Minnesota, sipping a beer and smiling and laughing as if nothing was wrong. She was finally here and she loved it. He could tell. He'd seen it the second they pulled down the bumpy dirt track in his truck, driving slowly towards the wooden cabin. Her eyes had lit up with wonder her face almost glowing with excitement as she got lost in the beauty of it. She'd looked at him and grinned.

They'd always had a way to speak to each other without words and when she grinned at him he knew precisely what she was saying: 'Why in God's name didn't I just come with you when you first asked me?!?'

After a second, Sam sipped her beer before she glanced at her watch, "It's getting late."

"You want to go to bed?"

Sam giggled and blushed at the double meaning in his question before she whispered, "No, I'll stay up for a bit longer. Hey, why don't you put the radio on or something?"

Jack pushed himself up off the couch and moved to the sound system stowed in the corner of the room. He turned on the radio and soft music began to fill the room, spilling out of the speakers. Jack felt colour rushing to his cheeks and was about to change the channel when a soft voice spoke, "Jack?"

He turned to look at the woman sat in the armchair, her useless legs lying on the matching footstool. She looked nervous as she whispered, "Would you... I mean... Would you dance with me?"

Jack smiled realising that was the precise thought that had entered his head. He stepped towards her, unsure why he was doing this. She hesitantly lifted her arms and he bent slightly so she could fasten them around his neck. He placed his at the base of her back and supported her in his arms as he stood up straight again. She seemed to weigh nothing and he gently began to sway with the beautiful woman in his arms. After a second her eyes met his and she was smiling. A true happy smile. Jack couldn't believe the woman in his arms was the same that had considered suicide not so long ago.

She spoke softly, her eyes bewitching him so he just stared into hers, "Thank you."

"For what?" Jack asked confused.

Sam's smile faded for a second, "For making me happy. Making me feel like I belong somewhere." He watched as her eyes lowered to her legs dangling downwards, "Making me feel..." Her eyes met his as she whispered, "Making me feel loved."

Jack swallowed hard not really sure what to say. He held her close to his body and continued to sway. She laid her head on his shoulder as he rested his chin on her head. He sighed and murmured into her hair, "You're welcome."

They danced, Jack unsure as to why he could hold her up, for what felt like hours, until Sam let out a small yawn and said with a teasing grin, "You can take me to bed now!"

Jack chuckled at her humour and in one swift movement tipped her to one side and hooked her legs over his left arm. She let out a small giggle of surprise as he wiggled his eyebrows at her, "Yes, My lady."

He carried her through the cabin, her arms still wrapped around his neck. He stepped into the guest room, pushing the door open with his foot as he murmured, "If you need anything just shout." He'd already put all her stuff in here for her and she had a small en-suite bathroom. Her wheelchair stood by the side of her bed, just in case...

His eyes fell on the woman whose eyes gazed at him in a sort of confusion. He smiled and gently lowered her to the bed as he murmured, "Sweet dreams, Sam."

She continued to stare at him, her deep blue eyes wide with her surprised expression. After a few seconds her arms dropped from around his neck slowly and she whispered, "Jack? Why... Why are you doing all this for me?"

Jack stood up straight and mumbled, "Well, I... I... I'm really tired. I think I'm going to get to bed."

Sam's face fell slightly in disappointment before she smiled sweetly, "Night Jack. Oh, can you pass me my bag?"

Jack just nodded and grabbed her bag for her, placing it on her lap before turning to leave. He swivelled back around and murmured hurriedly, "If you want... The sun rises are pretty spectacular here... If you want we could..."

Sam grinned, "I'd really like that."

Jack sighed relieved and smiled back, "OK. I'll wake you up in the morning, OK?"

"Sure. Goodnight."

Jack grinned happily in reply and left her room feeling so happy he couldn't explain it. He wandered to his room sitting down on the bed and realised why his heart was racing and his hands shaking.

He breathed shakily, "I... I made her happy..."

~~~Å~~~

They sat on the old bench by the lake as the sun rose over the mountains. Sam sighed happily as she dropped her head onto his shoulder. He watched her as she smiled dreamily. She was in a world of her own, not really concentrating on anything. It was strange. She was never seen without the look of thinking on her face, but now her face seemed almost blank.

"I'm tired of this place. I'm tired of waking up every morning and wishing I hadn't woken at all. I'm tired of being alive."

Her sighed statement struck a chord in Jack's heart that made slight panic rise in his throat! This was so hard for him to comprehend! It just didn't seem real!

He turned to stare at her as the first light of the new day shone upon her face and illuminated her hair with its golden rays. She turned to him, "And when I do go it won't matter. I will always love you, Jack, even when I die. Always." They were to close for comfort. Not that Jack didn't want to kiss her, but it felt wrong! It all felt so wrong! It wasn't right! He turned away from her!

She seemed to sigh frustrated, "Why won't you kiss me?"

He was so shocked he turned to stare at her. Her expression changed to something he'd never seen her wear before. It wasn't Carter! Whatever it was, it wasn't Carter! No one had been who'd they'd said they were! It all began to make sense now! Daniel was a fraud! Teal'c was a fake! Doc. Fraiser was an impostor! And as for General Hammond...

"You're not Carter!"

She spoke irritated, "Kiss her! That's what we want to see and yet you still resist! The woman you love just declared her love for you and you still won't! Colonel O'Neill, you are too hard to please!"

Suddenly, Jack realised what was happening! He jumped away from her as he stared around him. No, it couldn't be, but as black-cloaked figures appeared out of nowhere he realised it was happening!

"You again!" he growled as Carter disappeared and was replaced by a familiar man with a funny hat and a cloak.

"Yes. It is I."

"What the hell are you doing?" He turned to the cloaked figures, "We set you free! Why the hell did you let him plug you into those machines again? And what are you doing on K8W 721?"

"Our world was destroyed by the Goa'uld," the Gamekeeper grimaced, "This world is much less wonderful. It's a barren wasteland, but it is able to sustain life and so it was a good choice."

Jack spoke angrily, "Then there are no plants for them to ruin! Why in God's name are you still using your machines?"

"My people began to use the machines by their own will trying to see our old world and live there. They became addicted to the machines. They have to stay in. After a year, they did not wish to see our world anymore. It was too painful, so I adapted..."

Jack glared at him, "What the hell is going on?"

"I've updated the system so as you can experience your imagination as well. Dreams and nightmares..."

"So, you're saying this is my imagination?"

"Yes," he said and then his expression changed, "I have to go immediately," he groaned, "My last impersonation! I connected with her! Oh dear... I will return soon after I have to sort out this mess!"

With that they all disappeared and Jack was left standing by the lake confused and not knowing what was really going on.

~~~Å~~~

Jack was sat in a deep thinking session for hours. The same unanswerable and very confusing problems kept playing themselves, then rewinding back to the beginning and playing again. It was like a non-stop flow of questions Jack couldn't even begin to answer.

Why had the Gamekeeper left so suddenly? What had he been babbling on about? How was the real Carter tied into this, as he knew somehow she was? Where were his friends? Were they experiencing the same crazy nightmare? Would they be trapped forever? How could he escape...?

That had been the only one he could even begin to answer. He had to find one of those doors that, in the last Gamekeeper scenario, had led from the SGC to the Gamekeeper's greenhouses.

Once he got out he could free Sam, Daniel and Teal'c from whatever warped dreams, nightmares and imaginary realities they were living.

He suddenly felt very alone. No one in this place was real. He wondered how the other's felt. They were all probably beginning to work it out themselves by now. He knew he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer and that he was the least likely person to work it out first.

He would just have to hope that he was able to find a way out of this soap opera version of his life and rescue his friends.

"OK, let's find the way out!"

Jack jumped into his truck. There had to be one logical place where an exit was in all their 'games'. Somewhere they could all get to no matter where they were. The exit had to be somewhere that would be in all their imaginary realities...

Then it struck him! 'How did you get here, O'Neill? That's how you get out!'

He suddenly began to speed down the road. Ideas popped into his head. This whole place was his imagination. This whole world was under his control, in a manner of speaking. Jack felt a small smile on his face as he imagined the road would have no cars on. He closed his eyes for a second and when he looked up all the cars were gone. They'd disappeared without a trace! Perfect! This was going to be a cakewalk!

Suddenly, the Gamekeeper appeared in the passenger's seat. He did not look like a happy camper!

"Colonel O'Neill! What are you doing? If you leave... they'll have nothing to watch and they'll blame me!"

"Oh, won't that be a terrible shame," Jack said sarcastically. He glanced at the man again as he said angrily, "I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life in this hell hole!"

The Gamekeeper spoke soothingly, "But you could have whatever you want. You can live your perfect life."

"It wouldn't be real," Jack replied, determined to not even be slightly tempted by the offer.

The persuasive tone in the Gamekeeper's voice was strong, "You can live your life however you want. If you want I can even make you forget that this isn't real. You could live in heaven for the rest of your life. Don't you want to live in you ideal world?"

Jack gritted his jaw tightly, "What about my friends. Not only Carter, Daniel and Teal'c, but the people on Earth waiting for us. Teal'c's son and wife, Carter's Dad, Fraiser and Cassie, General Hammond... everyone we know will be waiting for us to come home and I don't want them to go through what you showed me they'd go through."

"But it's your imagination. You imagine they'd take it that hard, but how do you know?"

"Because I know those people," Jack replied snappily, "And I know they won't rest until we're home, safe and sound."

The Gamekeeper spoke softly, "I can understand your dilemma, Colonel." He looked up at him and spoke, "But consider this. You could be with her here. Forever."

"What?" Jack said shocked.

The Gamekeeper gave him a knowing smirk, "You know who I'm talking about, Colonel. You are obviously not as unintelligent as you led me to believe." Jack frowned at the man angrily, but he continued to speak, enticingly, "You could be with her here, but if you go back..." He stared at him piercingly, "The honest truth is Colonel, you two can never be together in the real world. Even if you retired she'll probably go off with some gorgeous Doctor, someone she can talk to about her job and Astrophysics isn't exactly your forte, is it? Let's face it, Colonel, Samantha Carter is a very beautiful woman and very beautiful women don't wait around for men like you."

Jack tried to block out the voice and concentrate on the road, not that he really had to concentrate. Though he tried, the voice continued to talk, piercing into him like a verbal dagger. Jack felt his heart hurting and his mind reeling, but there was no way to block out that voice.

"Stay here and I can make you forget that we ever had this conversation. You could live in a Utopia with her, blissfully unaware. Not only would you benefit, but my people will also be happy. You could have her just like you always wanted."

Jack realised something, "If I stay, the rest of my team will never figure it out. If I've figured it out before them, then chances are they won't figure it out. They are all way smarter than me. That's why you're trying to stop me!"

"Yes. I need you, Colonel. But you can need me too. Just think of the perfect life you and Samantha could ha..."

"What would happen to Sam?"

The Gamekeeper goggled at him as he murmured nonchalantly, "What?"

Jack looked at the man as he slammed his foot on the brake coming to a halt in the middle of the deserted road. He could see a fear in the Gamekeeper's eyes as Jack spoke, "If I stay, none of them would be free. They'd all be living nightmares. You're only cutting me a deal so I won't rescue them. You're people want to see suffering. Sam would be stuck in a nightmare for the rest of her life." He sighed and stared at the steering wheel, "Even if she will never love me in real life that doesn't stop me from loving her." He looked up at the Gamekeeper, "And I won't let you do that to her or Daniel or Teal'c."

"Colonel!"

He stared at the panicking alien for a second and then said smirking, "You're not here!" The Gamekeeper disappeared, a look of shock on his face. Jack couldn't help but grin, "Finally!"

Suddenly, another idea floated into his mind. He'd just thought of a quicker way to get to the SGC. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was stood on the ramp. Why hadn't he realised before? The Gate had never been shut off the entire time he'd been here! The Gate was the exit!

He could hear General Hammond yelling, "Close the Iris! He's escaping!"

'The Iris is stuck!' he thought as he began running. The Iris jammed and he could hear the Gamekeeper screaming curses as he dived into the event horizon.

~~~Å~~~

He toppled down the steps and landed flat on his face. He looked up hesitantly and was surprised to find he was in the room from the MALP footage. He stared around wondering whose mind he'd just hopped, or more precisely tumbled, into. He saw the door before him. He stepped up to it and hesitantly pressed the button beside it.

The door rose up letting in a flurry of snow. Once the door was open, Jack was shielding his eyes from the snow that bombarded him. He knew it wouldn't be long before the Gamekeeper and his cloaked cronies caught up with him.

He stepped out into the snow storm.

'No Snow!' Jack thought closing his eyes, but he could still feel the snow sting as it hit him. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the same winter wonderland!

Why didn't it work...?

'Of course, you dumb ass! You're not in your imagination anymore! Who ever imagined this is the only one who can change anything!'

He let out a shuddery sigh and began to make his way through the blizzard. He hugged his arms around his chest.

'Note to self: Never step onto a frozen wasteland in jeans and a t-shirt!' He thought to himself as he stumbled forwards, 'Time to find Daniel, Teal'c and Sam!'

~~~Å~~~

Teal'c

I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be,
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me.
I'm far away from home and I've been facing this alone
For much too long.

~Too much Love will Kill you~

~~~Å~~~

Teal'c watched over his companions worried. They were all still shivering. He'd built up the fire as much as he could, but their condition continued to deteriorate. They needed to get to the Gate or they would all perish in this bitter cold.

They'd survived these two weeks and after the few days they'd spent totally snowed in Teal'c was sure they would get through this, if only they got back to Earth. They were running out of supplies and Teal'c knew that Colonel O'Neill would depart this life soon. He was surprised he'd even endured this long. It was peculiar and Teal'c could not understand why his comrade was not dead. By all respects he, Major Carter and Daniel Jackson should all be deceased by now.

Teal'c wondered why no one had been sent after them yet. They were supposed to have contacted Earth a week and four days ago and yet no one had been sent after them.

He gave a small shiver himself and pulled himself closer to his team mates and the tiny flame licking at the last of the wood. Daniel Jackson opened one eye slightly and croaked hoarsely, "T...?"

"I am here, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c murmured in return.

Daniel tried to give a small smile, but failed as he fell back into unconsciousness. Teal'c sighed. It had been the same with all of them for days. He'd only been able to keep each one awake for the maximum of an hour a day when he fed them as much as he could and gave them water although supplies were low and they were diminishing fast...

Teal'c heard something and turned quickly to the entrance. He lifted up his staff and stood up shielding his friends. He pointed his weapon at the entrance.

"Teal'c, I know you've g-got your staff ready to- sh-shoot me, but could you at least- let me in out of this g-goddamn b-lizzard first?"

Colonel O'Neill! He looked down at his unconscious companions in confusion, "You are not Colonel O'Neill! He is within this cave with the other members of SG-1! This is a deception."

Jack sighed as he stood outside the cave. He was freezing. He needed Teal'c to stop the snow and dry his clothes because he got hypothermic.

"T-Teal'c, listen to me! Have the- other me, C-Carter and Daniel been acting st-strange? I mean stranger th-an usual!"

Teal'c nodded, "They have, indeed."

"They're f-fakes, Teal'c. It's the G-G-Gamekeeper! You have to- trust me! He's using our imaginations, our d-reams and our nightm-mares to create this, but he made mi-mi-mistakes. T-T-Trust me, p-lease!"

Teal'c sat in silent consideration and then spoke, "I trust you!"

"NO!"

Major Carter, Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill were suddenly attacking him. They began to strangle him. Teal'c couldn't fight them off though he tried.

"Teal'c, you have to imagine they're not here! Imagine they disappear!"

Teal'c closed his eyes and suddenly the pressure around his neck disappeared. He took in a deep breath and opened his eyes. Colonel O'Neill stood staring at him, his skin pale and his hair plastered to his forehead, snow caking him. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He was soaked to the bone from walking in the blizzard and was shivering violently, as he hugged his bare arms around him.

"W-way to go!" He spoke desperately, "I realised it was the Gamek-keeper in my own n-nightm-mare. It's a l-ong story. He pro-probably knows about what just happ-ened. Can you 'imagine' us dry- and back at the Gate?"

"I can."

Jack blinked and the next second found himself in the room in dry BDUs. He also felt back to his normal body temperature which was a relief. He nodded to Teal'c who was also in dry clothes, "I would've stopped the storm and stuff, but you can only imagine things in your own reality. I think we're gonna need some weapons before we go find Daniel and Carter."

Teal'c inclined his head, "As you wish," and a huge weapon rack appeared by the wall. Jack frowned. Scary! The guy reminded him of a Genie...

"Nice!" Jack said approvingly and began to grab himself a good supply of weaponry. There was thumping on the door. Jack stared at the door and then said, "Teal'c...?"

"I have already locked the door efficiently, O'Neill."

Jack nodded, "Right let's go! To infinity and beyond!" Teal'c gave him a look of utter confusion as Jack shook his head and ran toward the event horizon, "Never mind!"

~~~Å~~~

Daniel

When you're tired of life and all hope is lost,
Hold out your hand.
Cos Friends will be friends right till the end.

~Friends will be Friends~

~~~Å~~~

Daniel's ears pricked up as he heard the sound of gunfire, but not any old gunfire. A P-90! The cries of dying Jaffa filled the halls. Someone was coming to rescue them!

He heard the Jaffa calling to each other in shock and alarm, as Daniel stood up getting ready to help Sam up. She groaned as he lifted her up and supported her by his side.

"What's going on?"

"Someone's coming to rescue us!"

"But that's impossible!" Sam said angrily. She shoved Daniel out of the way and opened the door. How could she do that with a huge wound in her side? And how come she could open the cell door?!?

Daniel watched in horror as Sam grabbed a staff weapon from one of the Jaffa lying on the floor in the fire fight and pointed it at him! She leant heavily against the wall, as she glared at him.

"Sam? What are you doing?"

"Who did you think of? Tell me!"

"Think of? I don't know what you mean! Sam, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," Sam said fiercely, as she shot the staff weapon. It just missed his left side.

"Something's wrong with you! Something's wrong with Teal'c and something was wrong with Jack! This is... is my worst...

"Nightmare?"

Daniel looked up to see Jack and Teal'c stood in the hallway. Daniel looked at Jack's broken body beside him and then back up in shock, as Jack shrugged, "Just a guess!"

Sam turned to him her eyes blazing with cold fury, "You won't get out! When you get to the Gate, the Gamekeeper has a nice little surprise for you! You will all be plugged in again and the system will be perfected! You don't stand a chance! Daniel can't imagine that I disappear!"

Jack gritted his jaw as he said, "Who said Danny had to make you disappear?"

He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger on the Zat three times and Sam vanished.

"NO! SAM!" Daniel yelled.

Jack ran over to him as Teal'c kept watch in the doorway, "She's not real, Daniel! Nobody in this reality is real! It's the Gamekeeper! He's updated his little 'Matrix' and used our imaginations to create entertainment. Please you have to trust me!"

"The Jack I know would never kill her!"

Jack sighed, "Daniel, I swear!" He pulled a hand through his hair as he murmured, "The Gamekeeper made mistakes! I wasn't sure if this was yours or Carter's reality until you said that we'd all been acting strange and that this was your worst nightmare. Daniel, if you want you can bring her back to life, but I'll probably have to kill her again and I don't want to have to do that again..."

"What?"

"This is a controlled figment of your imagination, Daniel Jackson. You can envision what you wish, but I believe it would be most constructive if you transmit us to the Gate!"

"Why?"

"It's the exit," Jack said hurriedly, "You know! It's how to get from one reality to another. We have to go through the Gate, where, I assume, we'll enter Carter's Crazy Conundrum! But we have to go now! The Gamekeeper's been tracking me ever since I found out the truth. Please, Daniel. Trust me on this one. Imagine us back at the Gate."

Daniel closed his eyes and the next second they were stood metres away from the huge ring of metal. Jack smiled reassuringly at him and then his smile dropped. Daniel looked up again. Stood between them and the Gate was...

"My Daniel," she cried happily.

Daniel's jaw dropped, "Sha're…"

Jack shook his head in anger, "The bastard! The crafty Son-of-a-bitch!" Jack shook his fist at the sky as he yelled, "I'm going to kill you!"

Daniel watched his beautiful wife as she stared at him with large sad eyes. She spoke anxiously, holding out her arms towards him, "My Daniel, please. Do not believe them!"

Jack grabbed Daniel by the shoulders, "Daniel, she's a trick! She's dead. She's not there! You have to make her disappear!"

Daniel stared at him as though he had lost it. He pushed away, "You shot Sam! How do I know you're not the trick?"

"He has a valid point, O'Neill!"

"Teal'c! Whose side are you on?"

"Yours, O'Neill. I was stating that Daniel Jackson has a most appropriate statement!"

Jack raised his eyes to the heavens before turning to his best friends, "Daniel, please!" Jack said his eyes pleading, "Do you remember what the fake Carter said? This is a trick! The Gamekeeper is using your memory of Sha're to stop you from going through. We have to get to Sam, Daniel! She's probably stuck in some horrible nightmare of her own. You have to believe me!"

"Daniel Jackson, if we do not leave now and are recaptured by the Gamekeeper, the programme will be completed and we will be stuck in one of these realities indefinitely!"

"Daniel, I don't want to go back!" Jack said quite desperately, "I'd rather spend my vacation on Netu!" Daniel watched Jack and saw the pain in his eyes as he murmured, "I don't want to see that again."

Teal'c spoke, "Daniel Jackson, if you still do not believe we are sincere, imagine that whoever is the impostor here, disappears."

Daniel turned to Sha're. She continued to plead with him in Abydossian frantically, as Daniel closed his eyes. Sha're vanished, as did her pleading.

"Way to go, Danny," Jack said quite solemnly as him and Teal'c ran up to the Gate, "Come on!"

Daniel nodded slowly, "Let's go save Sam."

~~~Å~~~

Sam

One by One,
Only the good die young,
They're only flying too close to the sun,
And life goes on, Without you.

~No-one but You~

~~~Å~~~

Sam could hear screams from outside the house. The sound of clunking armour and the plodding of metal-garbed feet made her realise what was happening.

Suddenly, a figure appeared in the doorway. They came in. Serpent guards. They grabbed her and Daniel, both of them fighting fiercely to loosen the iron grips holding them. One went for Lizzie, but she dodged and started to run.

"Run, Lizzie. RUN!" Sam yelled as she kicked one of the Jaffa in the crotch. Lizzie made it through the doorway, but was scooped up by someone. Sam was struck across the face and kicked in the back of the knees. She buckled and fell to the floor, grimacing from pain.

Some Jaffa dragged Amy and Josh into the room. Josh was struggling and Amy was crying. Sam stared at the man who'd picked up Lizzie.

"Kneel before your God," one of the Jaffa said cruelly.

As Lizzie's captor's eyes flashed, Sam felt her heart stop. The familiar man stood in the doorway holding the squealing toddler. He threw her to a Jaffa as he spoke, his voice that of a Goa'uld, "Major Carter and Dr. Jackson."

"Teal'c..." Sam said brokenly, feeling a shocked tear trail down her cheek.

"I am not Teal'c!" He yelled angrily, "I am Apophis, your God!"

~~~Å~~~

They were dragged outside, if you could call it outside. The house was actually a cave. It was carved into the rock face like hundreds of others that covered the insides of the gargantuan cave rn. The Jaffa dragged her along. Her world span, as what seemed like fictitious facts sank in. Teal'c was now a Goa'uld, none other than Apophis. What Sam didn't understand was how a Jaffa could become a Goa'uld. She knew it was impossible and yet it had happened. Had the universe been turned upside down in nine years?!?

They were dragged to a circle. First, the Jaffa frogmarching the twins and Daniel were ringed up with their prisoners.

The Jaffa holding her yanked her under the ring, as Teal'c and the serpent guard that was now holding Lizzie stepped under it as well. She felt the rings whoosh around her, as she was transported up to a ship.

She was in a large room that was filled with a bright, ghostly blue light. She could see the Stargate was shimmering before her. So this ship had a Stargate. There had been none in the cavern. This must have been how they'd got in there. There had been no visible entrances or exits in the cavern.

She was dragged next to Daniel and the twins. Josh was now also crying gently like his sister. Lizzie was still struggling against the arms of the Jaffa clutching her as she hit him with balled fists and kicked him with her little, booted feet.

"Take them to the cells!" Teal'c said nastily

~~~Å~~~

They'd been sat in the cell for a long time. Lizzie sat on her knee and Amy and Josh snuggled up to her. Josh was wheezing slightly and Sam gently rubbed his chest trying to calm him down as best as she could. Daniel sat there watching sadly and murmured, "Lizzie, come here."

The little girl got up and walked over to the man and collapsed into his arms with a small sigh as she wrapped her arms around him. The man smiled softly and did the same, holding the tiny child to him.

After about an hour, Lizzie and Josh had fallen asleep. Daniel held Lizzie in his arms and Josh's head lay in Sam's lap. She gently stroked the boy's sandy hair. His breaths were still wheezy and every now and then he took in a breathless gasp.

Amy sat next to Sam staring at her twin brother and her little sister. Sam looked at her. Tears filled her ocean blue eyes as she murmured, "We're going to die."

Sam shook her head and pulled the girl towards her, "No. Oh, Amy, no. I won't let them hurt you, you hear me?" Sam felt tears in her own eyes.

"I don't want to die," she whispered fearfully.

Sam let out a shuddery breath as she murmured, "Your Dad is watching over us and he won't let anything happen to you."

Amy just nestled further into Sam's arm. Sam shared a glance with Daniel. He looked down at the tiny child rolled up in a ball sucking her thumb and then glanced over at the boy wheezing in his breathless stupor and his twin sister crying softly and fearfully into Sam's shoulder.

His pale blue eyes then fixed her with a stare so penetrating Sam almost felt herself flinch. The stare was one of hopelessness and inevitability, and Sam hated it.

Suddenly, the door began to open and some Jaffa strolled in. They grabbed them and dragged them out of the room. Josh was hauled up. His wheezing increased terribly and Sam felt an unrivalled fear grab her heart. Sam was being dragged beside him and kept murmuring, "It's OK, Baby. Mommy's here. Keep breathing. Nice deep breaths."

The Jaffa kicked her every time she spoke, but she didn't care. Josh wasn't going to die like this. "Keep breathing. It's OK, Honey. Just keep breathing deeply. You're going to be fine, Baby. It's OK. Shhh. It's OK. Mommy's here."

A few more Jaffa joined them as they stepped onto the Pel'tac of the mother ship. Teal'c turned to face them, as they were dropped to the metal floor.

Sam looked up. Lizzie was absolutely petrified, the twins were trembling slightly, as Amy let out shuddery sobs and Josh, shuddery gasps, but Daniel looked very defiant. More so than she'd ever seen him.

Teal'c cursed them in his Goa'uld voice, "Tau'ri Scum!"

"Hey Teal'c! Nice to see you too!" Daniel said trying to stand up, rewarding himself a kick in the ribs and a shove back to the floor.

"Kneel before Apophis, your God!"

"You never were and never will be my God! You used to be my friend, but then again you used to be humane! Some things change!"

Daniel got another kick in the ribs!

Sam stared at him, "Daniel, don't..."

She was hit hard across the face again. This time with a metal boot. Amy let out a whimper, as Josh gasped harder and Lizzie began to cry, "You big bully! Leave Mommy alone!"

She got up and tried to kick Teal'c. Sam screamed, "Lizzie, NO!"

What a bad time to start speaking, Lizzie?!? Sam had never heard her speak before. She'd discovered the answers to many of her questions, during the two weeks after her memory loss:

1. Why had she been sleeping with Daniel? She needed to have another child and, Daniel had told whilst blushing profusely, she'd prefer to have a child with him than... anything else she may have considered.

2. Why did she need another child? Otherwise she would be taken to become a concubine for Yu. Yu was becoming agitated with their original pact as Lizzie was 3 years old, but hadn't spoken yet.

3. Why didn't Lizzie talk? If she began talking she would be old enough for Sam to be taken away. Lizzie hadn't spoken by her own choice since the day she'd been born.

Sam escaped the Jaffa that was holding her and pulled the little girl into her arms, protecting her from the Jaffa surrounding her. She awaited the kicks, but they never came. All that came was Teal'c's cruel laughter.

"She has spirit. Just like her father."

Sam looked up and felt tears coming to her eyes as she looked up at her friend. One of the five men she had once cared about above all others. The first had been her father. She wondered what had become of him and the Tok'ra. She preyed that he was alive and safe somewhere in this universe as with the second man, her brother. She hoped that his family were safe too. The third was the man kneeling near by a look of absolute hatred on his face as he stared at the fourth. The fourth had been one of her closest friends and now he was her biggest enemy. And the fifth...

Sam's mind raced. Out of the blue she felt herself wishing Jack was here. Wishing he was still alive...

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong," Teal'c said quietly a sinister smirk appearing on his lips.

Sam looked at him in shock, "What?"

"Whose ship was he on when he was killed? You didn't think I would leave him there to rot did you?" He laughed again, as Sam gasped, "Send him in!"

Sam turned around and caught Amy and Josh's eyes, as Josh spoke breathlessly, "Mommy?"

"Shh Josh," she said quietly, as she crawled closer to the panting boy and continued to stroke his back softly. Daniel caught her eye, a look of horror on his face. He murmured shocked, "It can't be!"

"Oh, but it is, Dr. Jackson. It is."

Suddenly, the three Jaffa that had left dragged in a man. His head drooped and his face was hidden. His familiar clothes were ragged and torn. Through the rips in the material Sam could see huge welts and silvery scars. They dropped him to the floor.

"Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c grinned maliciously, "I have some guests to see you. I believe you call it a family reunion."

The man looked up in absolute fear and his jaw dropped, as he saw them. His deep brown eyes fell on Daniel who was gawping like a goldfish.

He spoke with a croaky voice that was barely similar to the strong voice Sam remembered, "Daniel..." Daniel nodded. Jack then stared at the children and Sam saw tears in the man's familiar eyes, "Amy... Josh..." His eyes finally fell on the little girl enclosed in Sam's arms. He let out an incoherent sound of pain as the little girl stared back at him in confusion. His eyes rose so slowly as if he was frightened to look at her, as if praying that his family weren't really here. Sam felt their eyes connect suddenly. His face as he stared at her was full of emotion. Sadness, fear, happiness, concern, but mainly an expression she thought she'd never see in his eyes and yet now it was so clearly visible.

His voice was a hushed whisper as he said her name, "Sam..." Suddenly, he turned to Teal'c, hatred burning in his eyes, "Let them go! They've done nothing to..."

Jack was kicked and gave a short cry of pain, as Teal'c said venomously, "Nothing! They destroyed my fleet! They destroyed my former body! I was nothing but a scarred and broken host!"

Jack couldn't deny it. He looked up, panting slightly from pain as he looked at the man, "The children did nothing!"

"Colonel, whose children are they? Two slaves! What does it matter if they live... or die!"

Jack managed to stand up. He fought against his captors, "You dare and you're a dead man!"

"Jaffa, kree!"

Suddenly all the Jaffa threw Daniel, the children and Jack in a line before Teal'c holding a staff. Sam was being dragged upright and pulled away from them. He engaged the staff and aimed it at Daniel's chest.

"Please! Don't do it!" Sam cried in shock and found two Jaffa holding her back. The children watched in fear as Daniel closed his eyes slowly.

He whispered, "Bye Guys." The staff fired and Daniel dropped to the metal floor. Amy screamed in shock as Lizzie began wailing like a siren.

"No!" Sam whispered shocked.

The end of the staff pointed towards the next person in the line kneeling before Teal'c.

"Josh... NO!" She began to yell and two more Jaffa had to come and restrain her as she fought fiercely to get towards her son, "Not my children! Don't kill my children!"

Josh knelt there facing Teal'c. His asthma attack was in full swing now and he took sharp breaths. He stared at him and muttered, "Guess now... I'm... allowed to swear so... Stuff you, asshole!"

The shot fired and Sam felt frantic tears in her eyes. She watched as her son's body slumped to the floor, a huge wound on his chest, his eyes still wide with fear. Amy and Lizzie stared at the body of their brother. Amy looked as if she were about to be sick and Lizzie continued to cry and whimper terrified. Jack began to yell at Teal'c. He was struggling to get to the Goa'uld as some Jaffa held him back. Angry tears filled the man's eyes as he yelled, "You son-of-a-bitch! I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you for this! You fucking bastard!"

The staff moved along the line to the next victim. Sam shook her head, as tears fell from her eyes, as she begged, "NO Please! Apophis! Stop please! Teal'c! I'll do anything! Please, don't hurt my daughter!"

Amy glanced at her for a second and then at her father, who was still shouting and fighting against the Jaffa like he was possessed. His eyes were also welling with tears, as she whispered, "I love you, Dad. I love you, Mom..."

The words stopped abruptly as the shot hit her head, sending her sprawling sickeningly to the floor, dead. Blood poured from the girl's head, spreading across the floor in a dark scarlet pool.

Sam's scream was like that of a wounded animal and pierced the air like a lightning bolt. The Jaffa let her fall to her knees, as she wept and watched as the staff moved along to Lizzie, "No, not my baby! Don't hurt her!"

The little girl was crying, as Teal'c watched her. He spoke darkly, "I shall not kill this one. My daughter is in need of an eligible Tau'ri and this one has much spirit and courage. She shall become a host."

"No!" The little girl said stubbornly and sniffed, "No, I won't!"

"You will!" Teal'c said slightly angrily and nodded to one of the Jaffa, who then stepped towards her. He lifted her up and held his palm across her mouth, "Jaffa, bring me my dau..."

The Jaffa screamed and cursed in pain as Lizzie sunk her pearly white teeth into his hand, drawing blood. He dropped her and Sam watched as Jack scooped her up. He shoved Teal'c over and all the Jaffa ran around their 'God' to protect him.

Jack grabbed Sam's hand and ran with her sliding under the descending door. They reached the corridor and ran along until Jack dragged Sam into a little inlet in the wall. Hidden behind a huge black tablet, he pulled her into his arms fiercely, as if never wanting to let her go again. She clung on equally tightly. She hadn't seen him for 4 years. He opened his arms slightly so the little girl could wiggle in between their body, as they all wept quietly.

They listened intently as the Jaffa passed and Sam looked up and stared into his watery eyes. She saw the pain in his eyes as he stared into hers. He leant forward and kissed her tenderly as she did the same. He touched her face with his hand as his lips trailed over hers, before moving to her face, kissing away her heartbroken tears gently. She pulled away after a second and he pulled her back into a hug, as he whispered, "Sam. I never thought I'd see my Sam again." She heard him sniff as he looked down at the little girl crying into his chest, "And my little girl."

After a few moments he got up and peaked outside into the passage as Sam clutched to her young child. Her baby. Another tear rolled down her cheek, as Jack whispered, "Coast's clear. Let's move out." He took Lizzie into his arms and they walked down the corridor. He whispered, "What's her name?"

"Elizabeth O'Neill. But it's just Lizzie."

Sam saw him nod slightly as he murmured, "Lizzie."

Lizzie was staring at him as she whispered, "Daddy?"

Sam murmured, "Yeah Sweetie. This is your Dad."

The little girl threw her tiny arms around his neck as he hugged her tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut and held the small girl to him as he whispered brokenly, "My little girl," over and over. Sam felt another tear roll down her cheek. He hadn't seen his kids for around four years and now the only two he knew... were gone.

Sam felt more tears as she whispered, "Josh. Amy. I broke my promise." She pulled her arms around her chest tightly as they rounded another corner.

A line of Jaffa stood before them grinning pleased. A trap! Before Sam's body could kick into action and begin running back the way they came, there were two shots and Sam felt a scream rip from her throat, "Jack!"

She watched as he fell to the corridor floor. His face was a picture of agony. Sam looked at the child in his arms. Her eyes were wide with fear as she stared at her scorched stomach for a second and then fell back, her head lolling to one side.

"NO!"

Jack looked at her and took a shuddery gasp, his eyes wide and glazed over telling her he was about to die. He spoke his voice broken, but so sincere she felt burning tears dripping from her face, "I love you, Sam."

She spoke desperately, unable to stop crying, "Jack, NO! Don't leave me here on my own! PLEASE! Don't die! Don't die..." He stared at her sadly and then closed his eyes and released his final breath.

Dead. They were both dead.

Sam looked up terrified, as she saw the Jaffa grinning, ready to shoot her. She watched as a small group ran in the opposite direction. She then glared at the ones who stood before her and yelled, "There's one O'Neill, you're not going to murder... and that's me!"

~~~Å~~~

She heard shots behind her as she darted around the corner and back down the corridor as fast as she could. She dodged three shots and bounded around the next corner. She had considered just letting them shoot her, but she decided that even though death was what she wanted she would not kill herself until she'd had her revenge on him.

She'd kill him. She'd hold her last breath until she saw his eyes glow and his chest stop rising and falling. She would kill him, if it was the last thing she ever did.

As she rounded the next corner, she was grabbed and a metal-gloved hand was held across her mouth as she was dragged into the shadows behind some black tablets. She struggled pointlessly and watched as the Jaffa ran by and turned to face her captor in confusion. A serpent guard stood there still holding her to him gently as he murmured, "Sam, we're getting you out of here."

The minute she heard the voice, she gasped. She could barely speak and she felt her mouth dry out in a split second, "Jack?"

The serpent guard just pulled her into a hug and whispered, "Thank God. Thank God it was all a lie. I thought... I thought I'd never see you well again." She didn't know what he was talking about and she tried to pull away. He let go, but clasped her hands gently as he murmured, "Trust me, Sam."

It was then he noticed two Jaffa walking down the corridor. They looked around and then darted into the shadows as well.

"O'Neill, we shall have to run. They will soon postpone their chase and return to their posts."

Jack nodded, "OK. Let's run." He turned to her, "Can you?"

Sam didn't hear him.

Jack watched her worryingly. It was shock, he could tell. She was shivering and even in the dark, Jack could tell her pupils were dilated and her breathing was erratic.

"Teal'c, carry Carter! We have got to go!"

They ran down the corridors, Teal'c carrying Sam in his arms. They hid from two patrols and finally reached the Gate room. As the door lifted they were faced with at least thirty Jaffa.

"Major Carter! Imagine they do not exist immediately!" Teal'c said urgently, as Jack stood protecting them from the Jaffa's firing.

Jack got shot in the side and collapsed. Sam shrieked and closed her eyes, "GO AWAY!"

The Jaffa disappeared and Daniel helped Jack up and supported him as they ran to the Gate.

"Sam, imagine that when we step into the Gate, we wake up! Please!"

Just as they stepped into the Gate, Jack opened his eyes. He pulled himself out from the machine and turned so he was facing it. He walked the wrong way round and tripped falling over backwards. He scrambled as far away from the machine as possible, before standing up again and looking around him. He was in a grey room filled with the machines. He looked at his side. There was no wound. He gave a small, relieved sigh and turned.

Daniel and Teal'c had already stepped out, but Carter still stood there shaking as she held back terrified and horrified sobs.

"Sam?" Daniel said sadly.

She shook her head, "No... No..."

"It was the Gamekeeper, Sam. He created a new programme that uses our imagination and subconscious to create realities. It was all a nightmare or a dream. None of it was real."

Sam stepped out and Daniel pulled her into a hug. She suddenly pulled away in shock and gave a visible shudder. She pulled her arms around her, "I broke my promise..."

"Sam?" Jack said warily.

"My children," she whispered with a tear finally making it down her cheek, "I promised them."

"You never had any children, Sam," Daniel said anxiously, "It wasn't real."

She began to shake harder and began to murmur fearfully, "Not them please. Not my babies. Not my friends. Not them. Don't kill them please..." She paused and said breathily, "Please Teal'c! Apophis! Don't take him from me again. Don't kill him..." She collapsed. Jack ran to her side. She was unconscious.

~~~Å~~~

Part Three

Too much Love will kill you if you can't make your mind,
Torn between the lover and the life you left behind,
And the pain will make you crazy,
You're the victim of your crime,
Too much Love will kill you every time.

~Too much love will kill you~

~~~Å~~~

Janet

If I could only reach you, if I could make you smile,
If I could only reach you,
That would really be a breakthrough.

~Breakthru~

~~~Å~~~

Janet picked up the telephone, already aware of the incoming traveller warning less than a minute ago.

"Medical team to the Gate room," Sgt. Davis said down the telephone. He'd barely finished when she slammed the phone down and helped the nurses around her to get the gear together. They pushed a gurney down the corridor, as they arrived in the embarkation room.

Janet gasped. Stood on the ramp holding an unconscious Major Carter in his arms was Colonel O'Neill. Teal'c and Dr. Jackson stood there as well.

The minute she stepped into the room, Jack nodded towards the gurney and she pushed it forward. He gently laid his 2IC on the bed. He turned to her as the other nurses began fussing over the unconscious woman, the Jaffa and the anxious archaeologist. He spoke in a whisper, "I'm gonna tell Hammond everything I know, but I'm warning you. Sam's been through hell. I don't think she's injured physically, but mentally..." He stared at her and sighed, "Just thought I better tell you."

She frowned confused as General Hammond spoke as he finally entered the room, "SG-1, welcome back!"

"General," Jack said quietly, and Janet could hear uncertainty in his voice.

"I want SG-1 to get checked out and cleaned up. Debriefing in an hour..."

"Sir, Would you mind if we had the debriefing later?"

Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond turned to him in confusion as he murmured, "Personal request, Sir."

General Hammond looked at the man with curiosity. Janet looked at him also. Not physically injured. Jack O'Neill didn't cancel debriefings for nothing. There was something wrong and if Jack didn't think he could sit through a debriefing in an hour, then he couldn't. Maybe he hadn't just been talking about his Major when he'd spoke to her moments before...

General Hammond sighed, "OK. Debriefing at 0900 tomorrow morning."

Jack stared at his boots as he murmured, "Thank you, Sir."

"Dismissed..."

Before he'd even finished speaking, Colonel O'Neill had sped out of the door.

Janet decided after she'd dealt with the Major, she was going in search of the Colonel.

~~~Å~~~

Janet glanced at the clock on her desk. It was midnight. Most of the nurses had gone home and had been replaced with the night shift.

Janet sighed and looked out her window at the woman lying in the bed. It had been over six hours since she'd come through the Gate. She'd shown signs of serious shock, which Janet had treated, but what Colonel O'Neill had said had worried her. That reminded her. She had to check on him before tomorrow's debriefing.

"No... please..."

Janet heard the whispered plea and her eyes darted back to the woman in the bed. She'd rolled onto her side and was clinging to a pillow in her arms, her eyes wide with their pupils dilated.

Janet jumped up and sped into the Infirmary. She halted and began to walk over slowly, Sam's fragile state didn't need aggravating. She moved slowly and deliberately, but Sam didn't even look up. She closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks and she began to sob, "My children... Don't kill my children..."

Janet's eyebrows rose and she crouched in front of Sam's wide-open eyes, staring around terrified. She was hallucinating. She clung to the pillow even tighter and began to scream hoarsely, "Stop! Please! Don't kill them!"

Janet realised Sam thought she was someone else. That Sam either didn't recognise her as her friend or was imaging that Janet herself was the threat. Three nurses ran in and Janet murmured, "Let's sedate her. Not too much. Enough to knock her out for an hour."

The nurses nodded and came back with a syringe. Sam still lay their clinging to the squashed pillow as she cried through her tears, "Don't kill Daniel! Don't... Don't! Daniel!" On the man's name she let out a heart-breaking cry. She went back to pleading, "Please! Don't kill my children! Apophis, stop! No... Josh! Amy! Lizzie!" She screamed in horror and began to sob, "No! Teal'c, please don't kill them!"

Janet took the syringe and poked it into the tube leading to Sam's pale arm. Sam rolled over onto her back staring at the ceiling. She gave her the dose and watched as her eyelids drooped. Just as she fell asleep, Janet heard her murmur, a solitary tear running down her pale cheek, "Jack... No! Don't leave me here on my own. Please. Don't die... Don't... die..."

~~~Å~~~

Janet wandered the corridors. She knew Colonel O'Neill wasn't asleep. Wherever he was he wasn't asleep. She had a sixth sense about things like that and at the moment she was on Red Alert. She had to find him...

She turned a corner and bumped straight into Dr. Jackson.

"Oh sorry, Janet," he grabbed her before she fell over.

She stood back up, as she spoke sternly, "Daniel, it's one in the morning! What are you doing?"

"Janet, it's one in the morning. What are you doing?" He said with a small smile. He gained a withering look from the small doctor and sighed, "I'm searching for Jack. I thought he might need someone to talk to. I know I wouldn't mind talking to him myself."

Janet looked him up and down worried. The man seemed a little far off. Nowhere near as disconcerting as Sam or even the Colonel, but enough to make her edgy. She sighed, realising she was the one who was supposed to speak, "I'm looking for the Colonel for precisely the same reason." She gave a stern little frown, "And you should be getting some rest. You have a debriefing tomorrow morning."

"But..."

"No buts! I'll deal with the Colonel and if I find out you didn't go straight back to bed after this there will be hell to pay!"

Daniel gulped and saluted, "Yes Ma'am." He then ran off with a little grin and Janet smiled relieved by his slightly jovial behaviour. God, he was SO cute!

~~~Å~~~

She'd been searching for at least an hour when she finally found him.

Colonel O'Neill sat in a Janitor's closet on Level 19. His arms were wrapped around his knees and his chin rested on top of them. He was frowning slightly.

Janet walked in cautiously and his eyes flicked up to see her. He didn't even move, or give an excuse, he just murmured, "Knew someone would come find me sooner or later."

Janet sunk down beside him, "How long have you been here?"

Jack showed her his wristwatch free wrists and murmured, "No idea."

"Have you been sat here since you sped out of the Gate room?"

"Yeah."

Janet sighed gently, "About Seven hours."

"Really?" Jack didn't look too surprised he just continued to stare at the floor.

"You wanna talk about what happened? You were gone for over two weeks." Jack continued to stare at the floor in silence. After a few minutes he turned his head and looked at her. She gave him a small reassuring smile, "I hear I'm better than McKenzie."

Jack snorted slightly and stared at the floor. He closed his eyes and began to speak, "The Gamekeeper."

"The alien that kept replaying the death of Dr. Jackson's parents? Wasn't he the one who kept his people locked up in his machines so they wouldn't ruin his garden?!?"

"Bingo," he sighed, "The first thing I remember was stepping through the Gate to K8W 721 and stepping back onto the ramp..."

Colonel O'Neill spoke fluently for ages, telling her everything. Feelings, thoughts, everything. Colonel O'Neill usually spoke with military precision and only mentioned things that were relevant to the mission. This was more how Daniel told mission reports. His mission reports were like novels!

He told her about everyone behaving strangely including herself and then about being led to his quarters. He told her about how he'd been MIA for 2 years and how everyone tried to cover up the fact he'd come back. He told her how Sam had been in his room and how Janet had gotten rid of her before Jack had been pulled out of the closet and locked in his room.

He paused. Janet looked at him, as he began speaking slower. He told her about the letter with great detail. He told her how there had been no chair and about how he'd climbed into the vents. The next part of the conversation, she heard his voice wavering. He told her about the conversation he'd overheard in her office, then about the conversation between Sam, Daniel and Teal'c. She looked at him as he murmured, "She had a year to live, a year and a half at the most. She was wheelchair bound."

Janet stared at the floor in shock. She knew how much he cared about his 2IC and seeing her like that was killing him. She could almost see the pain in his eyes as he recounted the incident.

He continued speaking for the next hour. Telling her about the time they'd met again, his invitation to the lake, about the time that he and Sam had spent together...

He stopped for a few moments and then told her about when Sam had turned into the Gamekeeper before his eyes.

"It was then I realised that it had all been the Gamekeeper messing with my head. I got in the truck, realised it was all my imagination and imagined myself back in the Gate room. I ran through the Gate and appeared in the room we saw in the MALP footage."

"Are you saying that all of you had different realities?"

"Yeah," Jack said quietly. He sighed, "I don't know much about Daniel and Teal'c's realities. Teal'c's was an ice planet in a blizzard where Daniel, Sam and me were freezing to death and Daniel's was in a Goa'uld fortress where Sam was seriously wounded, I looked dead, although I'm not entirely sure if I was or not, and Teal'c was nowhere to be seen..."

"And Major Carter's?"

The minute Janet said the words, she watched as Jack's face fell. He spoke softly, "I know slightly more about that one."

"And?" Janet prompted softly, as she fixed him with a 'You-don't-have-to-tell-me-if-you-don't- want-to' look.

He shook his head and whispered, "I wanna get it off my chest." He looked around the closet as Janet saw him attempting to hide the pain and disgust in his eyes.

"OK," he said quietly, "We came through the Gate and shot the three Jaffa who were guarding the room. Me, Daniel and Teal'c hopped into the serpent guard suits and left the room. Almost the second we left the room, we saw Sam and Daniel being dragged along the corridor. There were three kids with them. There were twins, a boy and girl, and a toddler, another girl. She couldn't have been older than four. The twins looked about eight or nine..."

Janet gave him a look asking him to carry on and he continued with the story, "Teal'c said something in Jaffa and we sorta just tagged along. We were led to the Pel'tac. The Goa'uld turned around. It was Teal'c."

Janet gave a small choke and Jack cleared his throat slightly, "He was host to Apophis. From what I gathered from the 'Oh-so-pleasant' conversation that ensued, SG-1 destroyed his fleet of ships at some point and almost killed him. He took Teal'c as a host later."

Janet began to realise what Sam's nightmare had been about, "Oh God!"

"Yeah," Jack said staring at the floor, "Anyway, we stood there as the Jaffa threw them to the floor. Daniel was quite rude to him. He was kicked hard. Sam then hissed at Daniel to stop and she was kicked across the face." He closed his eyes temporarily, "I won't forget the look on her face, as the little toddler screamed at Teal'c and went to attack him. Sam screamed, 'Lizzie NO!' and flung herself across the floor. She grabbed the little girl and pulled her into her chest shielding her from the Jaffa."

"Is that it? Did they hurt Sam?"

"No. Not then and not in that way," Jack sighed again, "Teal'c began to laugh like... you know! The way all evil guys laugh! He said, 'She has spirit, just like her father.' By that time Sam was close to tears as she stared at him. I mean not many people see one of their buddies turn into their worst enemy!"

Jack cleared his throat again and Janet could now see the pain in his eyes again. Something was eating at him. It had been why he wasn't sleeping, why he was hidden in a janitor's closet at two in the morning, why he had postponed the briefing and why he was squeezing his eyes shut at this moment.

"Teal'c said, 'I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.' He was smirking and it was probably the only time I have ever felt like knocking the guy's lights out. Sam looked at him shocked and murmured, 'What?'"

Jack began to speak coldly, "Teal'c replied, 'whose ship was he on when he was killed? You didn't think I would leave him there to rot did you?'" He shook his head, "Teal'c was smirking so much that if I hadn't been concentrating so much on saving Sam I would've shot him."

Jack took in a shuddery breath, "The moment he said that, Sam's face..." Jack frowned and pushed his fists into his eyeballs, "Teal'c said to some of the Jaffa, 'Send him in!'"

"Who, Colonel?"

Jack didn't answer and continued, "The boy twin spoke. He called her 'Mommy.' Sam was their Mom. I don't know why I didn't see it before. The twins looked a lot like her. Same hair, same eyes, but Lizzie. She was different. She didn't look anything like Sam."

"They were sending in the kid's Dad?"

Jack nodded, "Sam whispered to the little boy to be quiet. His name was Josh and I don't know what was wrong with him, but he was puffing and wheezing..."

"Probably asthmatic," Janet said and, catching the look from Jack, murmured, "Sorry. Carry on."

"Daniel then spoke. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost, or in this case probably heard that said ghost was actually alive. He murmured, 'It can't be!' Teal'c put on his evil smirk again and said, 'Oh, but it is, Dr. Jackson. It is.'

"The next thing I knew the Jaffa that had left dragged in a man..."

"And?"

Jack glanced at her and then she saw the look in his eyes as he whispered, "Me."

Janet's eyes widened considerably. Jack coughed again, failing to clear his husky throat as he said, "I didn't really hear what Teal'c said. I was still slightly shocked by seeing my clone being dragged in. My other self looked up at them and said their names one by one. The twin girl was called Amy. He didn't name Lizzie, but there was a look in his... my... HIS eyes that said he knew her."

The Colonel glanced at her again nervously and continued, "That was when I found out how Teal'c became Apophis. My other self told Apophis that they'd done nothing to deserve this and Teal'c told them that they'd destroyed his former host and his fortress. I then argued about the children..." Janet looked at him in confusion and he shook his head, "Not me, other me!"

"What did he say to that?"

"He said that it didn't matter if he killed the children because their parents were slaves. I watched as my other self stood up and fought to get to him. He said something like 'You dare and you're a dead man!' Teal'c then did his whole 'Jaffa, kree!' thing..."

Jack gritted his teeth and forced the quivering out of his voice as he said, "He lined them all up, except Sam, kneeling before him. Teal'c aimed a staff at Daniel. Two Jaffa were holding Sam as she cried to Teal'c, pleading with him not to do it. Daniel closed his eyes and whispered something before Teal'c shot him. I saw the fake Daniel just slump to the floor inches away from me and if the real one hadn't been beside me, stopping me from grabbing the Zat and shooting the fake Teal'c, I would of."

Janet stared at him as he pulled his knees tighter to him, "Sam was so shocked, I could see it then. She whispered 'No!' and Teal'c aimed the staff at the little boy, Josh. Sam began to yell and two more Jaffa moved over and began holding back as she fought to get to him. She was screaming, 'Not my children! Don't kill my children!' It was... awful not being able to do anything. I just stood and watched as Teal'c shot that little boy. He fell to the floor dead. His eyes were still... open and he looked terrified..."

Janet whispered, "I'm sorry."

Jack grabbed the material of his jacket, pulling his knees even closer, hugging them to him, "The other me was... crying and yelling at Teal'c angrily, trying to get to him, threatening to kill him. Sam was sobbing as Teal'c turned to Josh's twin, Amy. Sam began to beg him. She was pleading with him to stop. Teal'c didn't. The last thing the little girl said was that she loved us, loved her parents."

Janet watched Jack anxiously. He had fistfuls of jacket in his hands and his knuckles were turning white. He growled angrily, "The bastard shot her in the head!" Jack let out a choke and Janet had the feeling he wasn't talking to her anymore, "And I let him! I just stood there and watched! I never EVER want to see Sam in that much pain again and just have to stand there! For God's sake, they were my kids!"

Janet calmed him slightly, "It wasn't your fault. They weren't real. If you'd saved them, they probably would have tried to prevent your escape later and you would still be trapped in those horrible nightmares."

Jack didn't comment and just continued, "Sam screamed in absolute agony and dropped to her knees. She was weeping hard and she watched as Teal'c moved the staff along to Lizzie. She was terrified and was trembling and howling as Teal'c watched her. He said he wasn't going to kill her, but he was going to use her for a host to his daughter. The kid said 'No!' She was so terrified, but she said 'no'. Sam couldn't believe it. One of the Jaffa stepped over to the little girl and grabbed her around the mouth, holding her up. Teal'c began to order him to get his daughter when Lizzie bit the Jaffa's hand."

Jack snorted slightly, "I've never heard a Jaffa yowl so loud. He dropped her and the other me caught her. He shoved the fake Teal'c over as we all crowded around him. The other me grabbed Sam's hand and they ran and slid under the door."

Janet nodded, "What then?"

"I don't know where they hid, but all the Jaffa stood in a line waiting for them to make a run for it. When they came around the corner, the Jaffa shot the other me and Lizzie. He was carrying her and they both fell to the floor dead. Sam was talking to him before he died, but I didn't catch what she was saying. She then turned to the Jaffa, crying and scared out of her mind. Me, Daniel and Teal'c began to run the other way away from the Jaffa hoping to cut her off. I heard her yell, 'There's one O'Neill you're not going to murder... and that's me!'"

"She really thought... she thought it was real?" Janet asked shocked.

"Yeah," Jack said sadly, "We cut her off later. Daniel and Teal'c went to observe the Gate room, while I waited for her. I heard her coming and grabbed her. I pulled her behind some tablet things and held my hand across her mouth. After the Jaffa left, she turned to me and I said something like, 'We're getting you outta here!' She looked at me in shock and whispered my name. At the time I was so relieved that she was real, that she was safe and that it really had all been my imagination. She tried to pull away from me, but I told her to trust me. Teal'c and Daniel arrived and told me we had to go. That's when she totally phased out from shock. I told Teal'c to carry her. We got to the Gate room and she imagined there were no Jaffa and that when we stepped through the Gate, we'd wake up from the dream. I woke up and pulled myself out of the machine. I saw Daniel and Teal'c were out, but Sam was still stood there trembling. She was murmuring things like, 'My children,' and 'Don't hurt my babies.' She then collapsed and we got ourselves off the planet."

Janet stared at him. He was shivering. She guessed it must be past two in the morning now. She put a hand on his arm and murmured, "Do you want me to tell the General?"

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea, but I think I should. He'll need me to."

She stood up stiffly. She stared at him still clutching his knees to him tightly, "You need some rest, Colonel. You've got a debriefing tomorrow."

Jack stood up and Janet knew from the way he winced that his old injuries were aching. He limped slowly to the door, he was about to walk out, when he turned.

"Doc, how's Sam?"

Janet sighed and put on a false smile, "She'll be fine."

Jack looked at his boots and then back up with a sad look on his face, "I hope you're not lying, Doc. Somehow this is going to kill her. Maybe not physically, but she watched her whole family get slaughtered," he paused for a second then murmured, "I lost my son and a part of me died with him. Sam's lost a lot more, even if they weren't real, to her they were."

With that Jack O'Neill left hobbling out of the door leaving Janet standing there trying to imagine what mental anguish each member of SG-1 had been through…

She couldn't.

~~~Å~~~

Janet glanced at her watch. It was 10:00am. They should be finishing the debriefing soon. She sat besides the sleeping form of Major Carter.

She wondered if the Colonel was coping with the moment he'd obviously been dreading. She stared at the clock wondering what Daniel and Teal'c had suffered on that planet. She wondered if General Hammond would order McKenzie for evaluations. Janet didn't think Jack could cope, she didn't know about Daniel or Teal'c, and Sam... well, Sam had spent more time unconscious and having nightmares than awake. Judging by what she said during her frightening dreams and from what she'd been told by the Colonel; Sam was totally screwed up mentally. Janet hoped not.

She looked back and almost fell out of the chair in shock. Sam lay completely still, but for the slight rise and fall of her chest. Her eyes were open and staring directly in front of her. She blinked and Janet watched as her eyes looked around slowly.

Janet sat completely still as the heartbreaking, blue eyes fixed on her. She just stared at her silently. Except for her eyes, her face looked as if it were made from ice. Her eyes were so full of sadness, shock and guilt that Janet felt herself give a small gasp.

Janet spoke and made herself smile, "Morning."

Sam didn't reply and just looked at her left hand that lay on the blanket. She stared at it for a few minutes and then her eyes rose again and Janet saw a tear roll down her cheek.

"Sam?"

Sam turned her head to face Janet slowly again. Janet fixed her with a gaze, "You want to talk?" She held Sam with her glance knowing if she even blinked Sam would have won her silence.

Suddenly, movement behind Sam made Janet look up. Colonel O'Neill stood in the doorway. When he saw Sam he went to get away, but Sam followed Janet's gaze.

Janet watched as the woman followed her gaze and saw him. She let out a soft gasp as she pulled her fingers over her eyes as if she thought she was seeing things. When she realised she wasn't her eyes widened and her bottom lip began trembling with utter disbelief.

Jack, realising there was no way to escape now, stepped into the room a little way and murmured gently, "Hey Carter."

She didn't even blink and sat there in a trance, her body quivering, her face contorted in an expression of complete heartbreak and pain. Janet spoke softly, "Sam? Honey, can you talk to me?"

Sam didn't take her eyes off Jack. Janet nodded to him, telling him to try and awaken her from her trance. He stared back at her, "Carter, say something."

As his voice reached her, her eyes slid shut slowly and another silvery tear rolled down her pale cheeks. She opened her eyes again and just shook her head mutely, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

He took a few steps forward and stopped when he stood at the end of her bed. He spoke his voice seeming to shake slightly as he whispered, "Sam?"

Long seconds passed and everything seemed to stop existing except the three of them. Suddenly, in a blur of pale skin, golden hair and Infirmary pyjamas, Sam had sprung out of bed, clambering off the end and stood before him. She stretched out a vigorously shaking hand tentatively, trying as hard as she could to support it with her other hand around her wrist. Her fingers trembled as they reached out and gently brushed his jacket. She almost jumped about a mile with a loud gasp escaping her lips. She began shaking even harder as she stared at him tears trickling slowly down her cheeks.

Without warning, she threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him, daring anyone to remove her, and began sobbing into his chest. Jack's face was full of shock as he slowly pulled his arms around her too. He began to stroke her hair and rub her back gently. Janet felt tears of her own threatening to come, as Jack whispered, "It's OK. Sam, it wasn't real. It was all just a really horrible nightmare. Everything's gonna be alright."

Sam's back shuddered violently as she howled into his shoulder clutching to him so tightly, Janet was surprised he could breathe. She could see the distress in his face. The guilt, the self-hatred, the sadness and the anger were so vivid; Janet knew the only thing stopping him from falling to pieces was Sam.

Janet didn't know how long they stood there, Jack whispering comfortingly and Sam sobbing out her anguish, but it had seemed like an eternity. Suddenly, Sam fell silent and Jack's eyes widened with shock. Sam's body hung limply in his arms. After a second Jack whispered, "She's out cold."

He helped Janet to put her back into the bed. Janet could feel her hands shaking slightly. Sam's sobs still filled her mind and rung in her ears painfully. The pain in those cries was like nothing she had ever heard. Almost unnatural. If Janet hadn't have known better they could have been the cries of an extraterrestrial...

Sam's mind had been thrown into mental turmoil. She'd seen her kids, best friend and husband die. Her other friend was the one who'd killed them. Then all of a sudden her dead best friend, other best friend/murderer and husband save her from the place and she wakes up in the Infirmary, which, apparently, no longer existed, with her dead husband stood in the doorway very much alive.

Janet looked up at the Colonel. He just stared at Sam. He let out a soft sigh as he continued to stare at her. She spoke softly, "Colonel?" He didn't look up. Janet tried again, "Colonel?" He looked up, as she continued, "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," he lied, as his eyes lowered back to her. He ripped his eyes away from the pale and unconscious woman lying in the bed, as if he couldn't bear to look at her tear-streaked cheeks, dishevelled hair and limp body.

"Don't mean to sound rude, Sir, but why are you here?"

Jack sighed and a look of anger hit his face, "Call McKenzie. He has three more patients... and probably four when Sam's conscious for more than an hour."

Janet nodded understandingly, "OK, Sir. Do you want to stay here?"

"What'll happen to Sam if I stay?" He glanced at her and then at his boots, "When she saw me she was so shocked... maybe it's not doing her any help."

"Colonel, if we tell her anything else she'll be more confused than ever. She has to know it was the Gamekeeper, or she'll crack." Jack nodded slowly as Janet smiled gently, "Besides she'll want you here."

A small smile touched Jack's anxious expression, "Yeah. I'll stay a while."

Jack grabbed a chair and pulled it up besides Sam's bed. Janet gave a small nod and went into her office to finish some work and phone Dr. McKenzie. Every few minutes she glanced up at the Colonel, who sat there unmoving as he stared at the inert woman lying beneath the blankets. After five minutes, Janet glanced up again to see the Colonel as he slowly reached out and took her hand, gently clasping it in his.

'Let them be OK,' Janet prayed, 'Let them get through this.'

~~~Å~~~

Sam

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy Tales of yesterday grow and never die.
I can fly, my friend.

~The Show must go on~

~~~Å~~~

Sam lay with her eyes closed listening to their voices. She didn't dare open her eyes. So she just listened and preyed that somehow everything was all right and that they were all safe. She wished upon wish that Josh, Amy and Lizzie were alright, that it had all been a horrible nightmare, just like Jack had said, and that she wasn't just imagining her friends' voices at this moment.

"How long she been out like that?" Daniel's voice whispered out his anxious question.

"At least five hours," Jack spoke distantly.

Daniel spoke again with concern, "You been here that long?"

"Yes."

"Has she woken up at all?"

Jack's silence was worrying and Sam could've cut the tension in the room with a knife...

"She woke up, didn't she? What happened?"

Jack spoke quietly, "She saw me. She didn't move at first and then she threw herself at me. She was seriously sobbing her heart out and all of a sudden she just fainted in my arms."

"O'Neill, are you feeling in good health?"

When she heard Teal'c's voice, Sam's eyes shot open. She stared at him fearfully. She looked at Daniel and Jack. Both of them had sad and surprised expressions on their faces. Her worst fear had finally been confirmed. Her children... were dead...

Jack spoke softly, "Sam?"

She gave a shuddery sob and closed her eyes again. They were dead. She'd pretended it had all been a bad dream and that she'd wake up on her hard straw mattress, cuddling Lizzie close and then she'd stroke her daughter's thick brown hair and think 'it was just a nightmare', but now fact had dealt her a blow that she couldn't defend.

She felt her face crack as tears began to create silvery streams down her cheeks. Her eyes fell on her hand again. Her wedding rings were gone. There was nothing left of her family except Jack.

Her eyes rose to the men sat around her. She fixed her gaze on the man stood on her right. Images flickered through her mind. The shot hitting Amy in the head, sending the 7 year old flying across the room, blood gushing from her head, Josh gasping for breath as he retaliated against his captors and then the shot hitting him in the chest, his eyes wide with shock and finally Lizzie looking up at her body for a second and then her head rolling to the side...

Sam saw red. He'd shot them! He'd stood there with the staff in his clenched fists and smirked as he shot her children. He'd ignored her pleas and her sobs. He'd shot them!

Sam threw herself on him. They toppled to the floor and she began to hit him as hard as she could. She heard Jack and Daniel yelling at her in shock, as Janet joined the shouting and Sam continued to thump Teal'c with all the strength she could muster.

She felt hands grabbing her, but she continued to thrash out at the Jaffa. Daniel was saying, "Sam! Stop!"

Sam broke free and continued to punch the Jaffa that lay before her. He simply said, "Leave her, Daniel Jackson. She must dispose of it from her structure."

His calmness just infuriated her more. She felt herself screaming at him, "You bastard! You murdered them! I'm going to kill you!"

"You are most welcome to attempt it," Teal'c said tranquilly.

Sam continued to pummel him as a steady flow of tears ran from her eyes. Sam felt herself running out of energy, but she didn't care. She continued to hit the man as hard as she could.

She heard someone else enter the Infirmary, as a voice boomed, "Major Carter! What the HELL do you think you are doing?"

Sam felt hands again trying to remove her from him, but she struggled as hard as she could. They pulled her away and she looked up to see Jack holding her firmly, a look of absolute sympathy shining in his eyes.

She felt more tears come and she couldn't stop them. Jack still held her tightly as she continued to thrash although she could barely move anymore from being restrained by Jack and her own fatigue.

Sobs racked her body, as she finally gave up and stopped thrashing. Jack let her arms go as Hammond moved in for the kill.

"Major Carter!"

She looked up at him in shock and confusion. General Hammond? What was he doing here? Daniel had said he was probably dead after the conquest of the Goa'uld. She was so confused. She was still trying to understand why Daniel and Jack were still alive... and speaking to that... that Monster!

She looked at Teal'c. He stood up with ease and didn't even look slightly fazed by the attack. He fixed her with a sad sympathetic gaze.

Sam sobs increased. She'd failed the twins. She'd failed Lizzie. She'd failed Daniel. She'd failed herself. She'd failed Jack...

She twisted around so she faced him. His hands gripped her arms again gently, trying to calm her, but also be prepared to stop her from hurting herself if she began thrashing around again. He licked his bottom lip nervously and murmured anxiously, "You OK?"

She didn't answer, shook her head gently and then pulled him into a tight hug. She clung to him as she murmured, "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry."

"What for?" He murmured back, holding her tighter.

"I didn't kill him. I had the chance and I didn't kill him."

"Sam..."

"NO," Sam said fiercely pulling back, "Don't you dare! How can you stand there so calmly? HE KILLED THEM! HE KILLED DANIEL! HE KILLED THE CHILDREN!" She yelled at him. The look on his face was such a mixture Sam couldn't discern any one feeling. She gave a gasping sob, "He killed them and I just let him! Daniel, Josh, Amy, Lizzie and you! He murdered my family and I'm not going to rest until that SON OF A BITCH IS WRITHING IN AGONY ON THE FLOOR!"

Hammond spoke angrily, "That's it! Restrain her and get McKenzie in here ASAP!"

~~~Å~~~

"How did you feel?"

Sam exploded, "How the hell do you think I felt, you Quack!"

"Major Carter, please refrain yourself," McKenzie said quietly, "Now, how did you feel?"

"Like ripping off his head and sticking it on a pike! Similar to how I feel when I'm with you!"

The incorrigible McKenzie just smiled, "Now we're getting somewhere!"

Sam let out an angry sigh and stood up, walked to the door and thumped on it loudly. She shouted through the metal, "Lieutenant! I want this QUACK out of this cell RIGHT NOW!"

There was no reply and Sam kicked the metal door hard in frustration. She glared at him, pointing at the offending door, "I want you to leave!"

"It is about time for a break, I think," McKenzie acknowledged, picking up his clipboard.

"Damn right!"

He got up and stared at her coolly, "I'm warning you, Major. Everything you say in these meetings is put on a record. You'll never work again if you continue to act like a lunatic."

"Just GET OUT!" Sam screamed as the lieutenant opened the door for the Doctor and Sam shoved him out, slamming the door shut behind him.

She leant against the door and final let an angry sob wrench from her throat. She slid down the door very aware of the red L.E.D. of the camera watching her breakdown. She no longer cared. She'd spent the past weeks refusing to cry and hadn't since her fight with Apophis in the Infirmary.

She put her head in her hands and let out all her frustration, confusion and pain in a long loud scream.

It worked and the moment Sam had finished her cry, she took a shuddery gasp and stood up. She moved to the bed and grabbed her notebook and a blunt pencil from beneath her pillow. All she was allowed in her cell besides a table, two chairs and a bed, now lay in her lap.

She flicked open the notebook. She'd never been skilled at drawing. Her skills usually ended at stick people, but now she continued with the portrait. She could still see her face so clearly in her mind that it was no problem knowing exactly where to shade for shadows or place a freckle. Sam stared down at the smiling face. Sam was surprised how much the drawing looked liked Amy.

Sam gave a small snort; she had been working on it for the three weeks she'd been locked up in here. She'd heard from McKenzie that Daniel had finished within the week they'd returned from Apophis's ship. Jack, as usual, had been obstinate, but had finished yesterday.

And here she was...

She looked around the dreary cell. Her mind spun. For a start, why was she in the SGC? It was precisely how she remembered it, but Daniel had told her the SGC had been the first place to be destroyed by the Goa'uld and that after all the slaves had been transported off the planet, Earth had been turned into a Goa'uld rubbish tip. Nuclear, toxic and radioactive waste now covered the planet. It was nothing more than a dumping ground.

Secondly, she still didn't know why Daniel and Jack were alive. She'd seen both of them die. Maybe they'd been brought back to life by a sarcophagus, but then her children would have been as well.

"And they're not here..." Sam murmured. Why hadn't the sarcophagus worked on the children? Were they too young? Or was it something else?

Finally, why was Teal'c... no, not Teal'c, Apophis strolling around the SGC, a free, innocent man, when he'd slaughtered her family before her eyes and killed hundreds of thousands of people in the past?

She felt a tear on her cheek for the first time in what felt like years, or at least since that day she'd tried to kill him. This was hopeless and it made no sense! Sam felt herself realising again how she wished her pencil was sharp enough for her to jab into her jugular...

There was a soft tap on the door. Sam sniffed and spoke up, "I told you to go away, McKenzie!"

The door opened and Sam saw a friendly face peaking around the door. She stood up and hurriedly wiped the tear from her face, "I'm sorry, Janet. Come in."

Janet closed the door behind her as she murmured, "Still at each other's throats?"

Sam gave a small smile, "Thanks for thinking it's not just me."

Janet gave a small smile and sat on one of the chairs, "That's what best friends are for, Hon," Janet grinned her pixie grin as she said, "Besides, you're right... he is a Quack!"

Sam gave a small laugh and collapsed into the other chair as tears rushed to her eyes again, her situation dawning on her again.

"Sam, what's up with you? Even the Colonel has finished his sessions before you. That's nothing short of a world record!"

"Where are my rings?"

"Pardon?"

Sam sniffed and began to rub her ring finger gently, "I mean, I can understand you not wanting me to hurt myself, but please can I have them?"

The look on Janet's face was one of utter despair, "Don't you realise?"

"Realise what?" Sam said shocked, "You didn't destroy them or something did you? Jack wouldn't let you."

Janet gave a sad laugh, "Oh Sam. No, Honey, they've not been destroyed. What I'm trying to say is, the rings weren't real."

An angry frown came onto her face, "They were real, Janet!"

"No," Janet sighed, "None of it was real."

Sam frowned at the floor for a few minutes in the uncomfortable and troubling silence before she glanced up, "I want to speak to Jack."

"You can't."

Sam stood up and began pacing irately, "I have to talk to McKenzie every day and he's making me lose my mind! I want to talk to someone who knows how much I want to kill that Bastard!"

"Sam, Colonel O'Neill doesn't want to kill McKenzie..." Janet paused, "Well, not really!"

"I'm not talking about McKenzie!"

Janet gave a gasp of recognition at what her friend had really meant, "You know the Colonel would never want to kill Teal'c!"

"Janet, he's not Teal'c! He's Apophis! Scan his head!"

Janet just closed her eyes and stood up. She watched Sam as she deflated with a tearful sigh and collapsed onto her bed. Janet looked up as her eyes fell on the notepad on the table. It was open and the page showed the face of a little girl. She was smiling prettily. Janet knew Sam was no Van Gough, but the drawing held so much detail Janet realised how fixed on the other reality Sam was.

Janet nodded towards the notebook, "May I?"

"As long as you don't tell McKenzie," Sam said quietly, "He's probably watching anyway, but every time he comes in here he's always looking for it. He glances around for it. He knows he's not allowed to take it, but if I turn my back on it for a moment, he will," Sam fixed her with a sad, azure gaze, "It's all I have left of them."

Janet gently picked up the notebook and flicked through the pages. Pages and pages full of delicate pencil drawings of three faces. Janet knew who they were although she made no comments, just flicked from page to page.

Her eyes fell on one picture that captured her attention. It showed the little girl sat in the older girl's lap with the boy looking over her shoulder at a book. Janet could see the title of the book and the expressions on the children's faces. The small girl had her thumb in her mouth and was giggling. The older girl was smiling, but had a familiar looking frown between her eyebrows. The boy was grinning cheekily also in a familiar way.

Sam gave a small sniffle, "That was the day before Apophis came for us. I can't forget it. It's one of the only memories that I always have in my head besides what happened on that Pel'tac..."

Janet felt tears in her own eyes, but fought them back. The drawings were amazing. Janet murmured, "They're beautiful."

Sam gave a small smile, "Me and Jack did do alright, didn't we."

Janet glanced at the loving smile on the woman's face as she looked at her children in the sketch. Janet's tears were dangerously close as she gave her another small smile. She hadn't remembered that Sam would think she'd meant the kids. To Janet they were just exceedingly good drawings. She gave a small smile, "Yeah."

Sam's smile became wider and then faded, "Three beautiful children and I missed them growing up. I keep trying to remember those 9 years, but I get nothing. Vague images... the twins running in the garden... Jack sipping beer," she gave a small laugh, "Sometimes I imagine that Earth had never lost. That we were still living in Jack's house and he'd seen Lizzie when she was born, that the twins had more than just vague memories of their Dad, that they were still alive..." Sam gave a shuddering sob as she put a hand to her mouth holding back residual hiccoughs, "He loved them so much."

She flicked the page and Janet saw a new face. The picture was the most meticulous of them all. Colonel O'Neill's face, a look of absolute shock in his eyes as he looked out of the page.

"When was this?" Janet dared to ask as Sam gave a small sigh.

"When the Jaffa dragged him in," Sam gave a choked sob, "I couldn't believe it was him. He was so shocked when he saw us." Janet looked up into the woman's eyes as she whispered brokenly, "I could barely breathe, Janet. The pain in his eyes as he saw us... it made the breath catch in my lungs. He'd hadn't seen any of us for over three years. He hadn't seen his kids, the things he found the most precious in the entire universe, in three years." Sam gave a shuddery sigh, "And they were slaughtered before his very eyes."

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry."

Sam ignored the apology and continued, "And yet he was the one who pulled me off him that day in the Infirmary even though he should've been there, beating the crap out of him as well. I can't believe it. I don't understand what's going on." She gave a shuddery sigh, "I watched them die. All of them. Daniel, my children and then Jack. I just want to know what happened, but McKenzie is lying to me."

Janet just nodded gently and closed the notepad slowly. She passed it to Sam, as her blue eyes fixed her to the spot with a pleading stare.

"Please get me my rings. Also, can you find the twins' book? It was in the front right pocket of my slave attire," Janet went to speak, but Sam silenced her, "I know it's a lot to ask, Janet, but please. It's all I have left of my children. Everything else is back in the cave on H8R 524."

Janet just gave Sam a small smile, not wanting to nod or shake her head. Janet went to the door and went to open it.

"Janet?"

She turned to the woman perched on the bed now, "Yeah, Sam."

"Can you try and find some way for me to see Jack tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I..."

Sam interrupted, "No, Janet, you don't understand. Tomorrow's 12th June..."

"Yes, but what's that got to do with the Col..."

"It's the twins' eighth birthday," Sam said quietly.

Janet's face fell as she murmured, "I'll try, Sam."

Sam's miserable expression lifted slightly and then turned into a wide smile. It was the first happy smile she'd seen Sam smile since they'd come back from that mission. Janet felt a smile of her own come to her face, although it was not a happy one.

She opened the door and stepped out of the room before she let a tear fall and immediately brushed it away. No matter how many times you tried to tell Sam it had all been an elaborate nightmare, she still clung stubbornly to the thought that her children were real, that she was married to her CO and that Teal'c was Apophis.

"Ma'am, are you alright?"

Janet glanced up at the girl stood by Sam's cell door. She couldn't have been much older than 25 and fixed her with an anxious gaze, "She's lost it, hasn't she?"

"Her mind? No. She hasn't lost her mind."

The woman gave a small snort, "Sounds like she has from out here! What's wrong with her?"

"She refuses to believe reality and is living in a world of imagination," Janet said bluntly.

The lieutenant spoke, "Doesn't sound too bad to me?"

"Well, if you were trapped in your dreams and nightmares you'd think differently," the girl gave her a funny look, as Janet wiped her eyes and blew her nose gentle on a tissue and then murmured, "Losing your whole family, watching them being executed by one of your most trusted friends and then being told again and again that it never happened, does that sound bad? Or maybe being visited every day by a shrink and not being allowed to speak to the guy you think you're married to, when in actual fact he's your CO, that sound bad?"

The woman was stunned. Janet spoke again, "Sam may be losing her mind, but it's not because she's insane. She can get through this, she just needs to open her eyes and finally see that it was all a nightmare or a dream... nothing more."

Janet gave the girl a small, but strained smile and walked down the corridor, praying to God that the General would let Jack visit Sam tomorrow.

She didn't know what Sam would do otherwise.

~~~Å~~~

Sam sat in the cell her legs swinging off the side of her bed. She awaited her next confrontation with McKenzie knowing today she would crumble before him. Today would be the one day he could get any emotion other than anger from her.

There was a sharp and unpleasantly familiar rap on the door. Sam knew the confrontation had arrived.

Without even gaining her consent, the smarmy psychiatrist stepped into the room, notorious clipboard in hand. He fixed her with his usual sarcastic smile, "Good Morning, Major. How are you this morning?"

Sam didn't answer as usual. He immediately took one of the chairs and sat on it before her on the bed. He pulled the pen with 'Colorado Springs Hospital for the Mentally Infirmed' written on the side, out of his pocket, clicked it on and touched the tip on the paper.

"Right. I watched the security tapes from yesterday and your visit from the Doctor was quite an interesting highlight. I've already questioned her on the notebook, before you ask, and she was quite uh... fierce with her answer."

A satisfied smile came onto Sam's lips, "You hear the bit when she called you a Quack?"

The look of cold fury and embarrassment was hidden from his face in a split second as he said, "Yes." His smile became sickly sweet, "But isn't it me who should be asking the questions?"

Sam stayed silent and watched as his pen became poised to take notes. He fixed her with his penetrating gaze and began, "Where did we leave off...? Ah, yes... when you were 'abducted' from your 'cave'..."

"Home," Sam corrected icily, "From our Home."

"You were 'abducted' from your 'Home'. Then what happened?"

"We were ringed up to his ship and thrown in a cell," Sam was going to keep things as brief as possible.

"How did you feel when you were locked in a cell?"

Sam pursed her lips in a tight thin line and didn't reply. McKenzie repeated the question, but she didn't answer. He was growing impatient. She could tell by the way his legs were crossed and his right foot was tapping thin air. He asked the question again and Sam could hear an agitated tone in his voice, "Major Carter, when you were locked in the cell, how did you feel?"

Sam just fixed him with a 'like-I'm-going-to-tell-you' glare. She stared back at the floor, her silence prevailing.

"Major Carter, when TEAL'C locked you in that cell, how did you feel?"

Sam glared at him, suddenly feeling a swell of horrid emotion, "He is not Teal'c, he's APOPHIS! Scan his head and you'll see there's a snake in there! He is a murderer! He should be stopped before he tries to take over the base!"

McKenzie stood up swiftly, "It is clear, that you are not sane in mind, Major Carter. I shall tell General Hammond that you are not fit for active duty and that you are to be transported to the hospital immediately."

"I'm not crazy," Sam yelled at him as he fixed her with as look that said 'Wanna-bet?'

"We've already checked your claim that Teal'c has a Goa'uld attached to his brain and there is no sign there is or ever was."

Sam stared at the floor in shock, "There must be a mistake..."

"No, Major. No mistake."

Maybe she was losing her mind. Teal'c was Apophis. She knew he was. She'd heard him speak and seen his eyes glow on the Pel'tac. He'd put her family to death. The Teal'c she knew would never do that.

McKenzie interrupted her train of thought, "My recommendations will be made immediately and your transfer to the Mental institution will be made tomorrow morning. I've been trying to convince you for almost a month and your mind is still rejecting the facts. Unlike my other patients we have gotten nowhere. I don't think any matter of convincing would make you forsake your beliefs that you have children that don't even exist!"

Sam felt her eyes welling with salty tears, "How can you say that? They are real. I could touch them, smell them, hear them and see them. They are as real as that chair or that clipboard you have to take everywhere with you!"

"Then it looks as if this clipboard and that chair aren't real," he opened the door and gave her a pitying glance, "I can see them and touch them, but if you say your children are as real as that chair and this clipboard..." he paused and a sickening smile came to his face as he spoke nastily, "They're all in your head!"

And with that he left, shutting the door behind him and leaving Sam feeling extremely small and lonely. She sat on the bed and pulled her knees tightly up towards her. She felt cold all of a sudden and pulled the duvet around her as she shuddered.

She picked up her notebook and glanced at the pictures again as a withheld cry came out of her throat like a whimper. Hot tears touched her cheeks and sent shocks of electricity down her spine making her shiver more. She pulled her duvet over her head and rolled onto her side beneath the blanket, shielding herself from the world and hiding her from her own insanity. The darkness under the blanket calmed her slightly and Sam buried her face in the cool pillow and wept.

~~~Å~~~

Jack

I’ve fallen in love; I’ve fallen in love for the first time,
And this time I know it’s for real,
I’ve fallen in love.
God knows! God knows, I’ve fallen in love!

~I Want to Break Free~

~~~Å~~~

After his last session with McKenzie on Thursday morning, Jack had been ordered off the base. Usually it wouldn’t have taken much persuasion, if any, to have him take three days off, but this time it had been different.

Jack wanted to see Sam so desperately it hurt. He hadn’t been allowed to see her for over three weeks. He’d only been having one hour sessions with McKenzie every morning and he’d been allowed to go around see who he pleased, do what he wanted and in general go where he wanted, but Sam... Sam had been locked in Isolation for three weeks. No one, but McKenzie and Dr. Fraiser had seen her in that three week period and that thought alone made Jack’s blood boil.

He parked his truck and hopped out speedily. He’d waited out the three days he’d been made to stay at home and it was now Saturday. It was one minute to ten and at ten he would finally be allowed back into the facility where he could go bug General Hammond until he gained himself access to see Sam... or until he was ordered to take another three days off base!

His wristwatch began beeping. Ten o’clock. He walked up to the security guard and showed his badge. The man smiled slightly, “You’re here promptly, Sir.”

“Don’t like to be late,” Jack muttered as the man let him through. After having his hand scanned he walked to the elevator. He stepped inside, pushing his security card into the slot and watching the floor dial as the elevator began to descend. First, he’d stop off at the General’s office to try to persuade him to let him see Sam and then he’d talk to Fraiser and ask her how Sam was and then hopefully he’d be able to see her. Actually now he thought about it he felt a sheer desperation to talk to Fraiser first. Fine, he’d talk to the Doc first then he had a bone to pick with Hammond.

He stepped out on the correct floor and sped off in the direction of the Infirmary. He nearly ran into the room and narrowly missed colliding with the flustered Doctor as she sped out of the door in the opposite direction.

She spoke with a small gasp, “Colonel!”

“Doc, are you OK?”

She shook her head hurriedly and grabbed his arm, “There’s no time to talk, Colonel.”

Jack frowned worriedly, “What’s wrong?

“McKenzie just got the go ahead to have Sam moved to a mental institution...”

“WHAT?!?” Jack almost yelled as the Doctor calmed him slightly.

“The General had to make a tough decision. He’s been getting pressure from certain ‘old acquaintances’ to have Sam locked away saying she’s a security risk due to her ‘obviously fully deteriorated mental health’.”

“What? Who?”

Janet spoke reluctantly, obviously realising the connection between the Colonel’s life and the reality created by the Gamekeeper, “Colonel Simmons, Sir.”

Jack made a fist pummelling action as he said through gritted teeth, “I’ll kill the bastard!” A thought suddenly struck him and he stared at the Doctor shocked, “When?”

“I heard McKenzie and him talking and... they’re taking her. Now,” Janet said hopelessly.

Before she’d even finished speaking Jack was sprinting back along the corridor to the elevator. He ran inside and hurriedly pressed buttons as the lift jolted into movement and began to take him upwards towards the surface. Jack began to pace and mutter, “Come on! Come on!” After a short journey that felt comparatively like days, the doors opened and Jack stepped out of the lift.

“Let go of me! Let me go!”

The cry of panic and fright drove a stake into Jack’s heart as he knew precisely who it was who was frightened and panicking themselves into a frenzy.

Another voice spoke, but this time it was a voice Jack hated, “Keep her restrained! I want her sedated for the journey. She’s too violent.”

Jack’s legs kicked back into action as he hurried into the car park, just witnessing General Hammond stood watching with a gritted jaw, as Sam was dragged by three men towards an ambulance with padded walls. They’d put her in a straight jacket and she was struggling to get out and fight off the men at the same time. It made Jack sick just watching it.

“Stop!” He yelled furiously as he ran closer.

Sam looked up and when she saw him he saw tears begin to build in her eyes as she sobbed and shrieked in equal amounts, still fighting against the men, “Jack! Don’t let them take me! Please don’t let them take me! I’m frightened, Jack!”

Jack felt a restraining arm on his and turned to look straight into the cool, although slightly angry eyes of General Hammond. The man spoke gently, “Let her go, Son.”

Jack jerked his arm free, “Sam’s not crazy, Sir!”

The General grabbed his arm again before he could speed off. He spoke softly, “I don’t like this either, Colonel. In fact, I goddamn hate it, but we have no choice. Major Carter isn’t fit to be an officer any longer, Colonel.”

Jack spoke angrily, “She’s fine!”

General Hammond shook his head slowly, “No, Jack. She’s not. She still believes that Teal’c is Apophis, that the World is a toxic waste ground, that you two are married and have three children, that Teal’c slaughtered Daniel, you and these three children and that it’s actually the year 2010! Until she gets it into her head that what she went through is a lie, I’m afraid she can’t work here, Jack. There’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

Jack yanked his arm free as he said angrily, “You can’t, but I can!”

He strode over to the men still struggling to get Sam into the van. He tapped one on the shoulder and when the man span around he pushed him out of the way, as the other two grabbing Sam let her go in surprise to help him. The woman finally broke free from the men and Jack pulled her close to him.

They collapsed to their knees as the woman began to cry softly, “Jack...”

“Shh. I’m here now,” he rubbed her back gently as the men just stood and watched, obviously completely reluctant to put Sam in the vehicle.

McKenzie strolled over and began to yell at them, “What are you doing? Put her in the van!”

The guy Jack had shoved out of the way spoke quietly, “No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Firstly, she’s way too traumatised. If we sedate her it’ll probably do more harm than good,” the man said his voice defiant and sounding rather irritated with the psychiatrist, “Secondly, she’s fighting like a wild cat and I don’t think there is anyway to get her in there and thirdly, I think it’s pretty obvious this guy’s gonna shoot anyone who tries to!”

Jack looked up at the man gratefully as the furious McKenzie turned to Hammond, “General, order the Colonel to let go of her!”

General Hammond’s eyes met Jack’s. His 2IC was being most definitely insubordinate, but although he knew he should be punishing the man, he couldn’t. His eyes fell to the terrified woman trembling in the man’s arms, her upper body immobilised by the straight jacket. She’d looked so helpless and frightened as the men had been dragging her to the van. Now, as Jack held her to him tightly, daring anyone to take her from him, she looked different. She no longer looked as terrified, as if knowing Jack would never let any thing happen to her.

The General turned back to the irate McKenzie as he said with a small smile, “I think you need to see a psychiatrist, Dr.”

The man was fuming, quite literally, but General Hammond ignored him and turned back to the forlorn couple kneeling on the floor. Sam spoke sadly, her eyes still squeezed shut and her face pressed against the man’s shoulder, “Amy and Josh would’ve been 8 yesterday.”

Jack looked at the woman shocked. She was still struggling against the jacket, trying to fight free, but her eyes fixed with his as she cried, “Jack, tell me. Have I lost my mind? Am I crazy?”

Jack pulled her back into a hug, “No. No, you’re not crazy. You’re a perfectly normal woman who was tortured with images of a life that didn’t exist, just like me, Daniel and Teal’c. Thing was the Gamekeeper knew you were smart. He knew you were the most likely one to discover what he was doing, so he made your reality worse than anyone else’s. He made it so you would believe it absolutely and wouldn’t question it.”

She spoke brokenly, “It was all a lie?”

He nodded into her shoulder, “Yes. I’m sorry, Sam.”

She buried her face in his neck as she began to cry gently and then whispered, “It was so real...”

“I know. I know. Mine was the same, but he underestimated my intelligence!” Jack said trying to joke and gaining a soft chuckle, “He made way too many mistakes in mine. He probably thought I was so stupid I wouldn’t notice.”

Sam pulled back again as she mumbled, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

Sam gave a small smile as tears continued to cascade down her cheeks, “I’ve wanted to see you for three weeks, and in all that time I’ve been so confused I couldn’t tell the difference between my imagination and real life. Then I finally see you again and you set me straight in less than a minute.” She pushed herself close to his chest again as she whimpered, “I didn’t believe what I was hearing. You were the only one I could trust. Thank you.”

Jack rubbed her back gently as he stared up at McKenzie and the General, “I’ve been trying to see you for just as long, but some people thought it would be a great idea for us never to see each other for the rest of our lives.”

The General nodded apologetically as McKenzie had the good manners to look seriously embarrassed. Jack pulled away from her and helped her to her feet. He turned to the General, “I think it’s safe to say she’s cured. We’re going back inside, if you don’t have any objections.”

The General smiled at the insubordinate tone as he murmured, “Not at all, Son.”

“What! General! Major Carter...”

“...is perfectly sane, McKenzie. She has been the entire time. Don’t think I haven’t seen the security tapes! You’ve been winding her up and confusing her as much as possible since you first stepped into that room!” The General was pissed off, for use of any better words. Jack didn’t think he’d seen the man as pissed off. He wasn’t exactly fuming, his face turning an interesting shade of puce, but he was most definitely ticked off. The psychiatrist was literally shrivelling beneath the flaming, but also, icy eyes that glared at him. “Tell me, Dr, who’s paying you to get her committed? She has made quite a few enemies, who would love to see her thrown in a mental asylum...”

“Simmons, Sir,” Jack muttered from beside him, “Dr. Fraiser said something about Simmons pressuring you. She said she heard him talking to the Quack stood before us too.”

General Hammond nodded then spoke, deadly quiet, “Now, Dr. You are going to leave my base and never return. I think I’ll be getting a new Psychiatrist for the SGC. You’re expertise are no longer needed.”

McKenzie was speechless and gawped mutely, completely tongue-tied by anger and utter shock. General Hammond turned his back on him and looked at the couple stood beside him. Major Carter was shivering from built up emotion and the coolness of the underground parking lot, the Colonel’s arm around her to try to warm her up, comfort her, support her and show everyone that no one would ever be able to remove her from his side for at least a few... years!

Hammond placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder, “Let’s get her inside, Son.”

Jack smiled at him with extreme gratitude, “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

They walked back into the building slowly, blocking out the shouting, cursing and spluttering of the furious psychiatrist.

~~~Å~~~

How they’d ended up in Sam’s quarters Jack couldn’t quite remember. At the time Sam had been so distraught and tearful that Jack had just led her to the nearest place of comfort. He glanced down at the woman sat across him like a small child sleeping peacefully. Her arms held him tightly to her. They hadn’t moved from him since he’d removed that disgusting straight jacket they’d imprisoned her in.

Jack felt anger rising and was just about ready to smash something, but a soft hiccough from the beautiful head nestled under his chin stopped him. He sighed softly and stared at the red marks beneath her eyes as she let out another little hiccough, no doubt a result from her sobbing.

Once they’d reached Sam’s quarters Jack had led her in and immediately pulled that atrocity off her. The second he had she’d flung her arms around him, shaking softly with quiet sobs.

They stood in the middle of his room as he’d had visions of the time Sam’s ‘evil’ twin had arrived through the Quantum mirror. They’d just stood there for a long time before she whispered, “I was so scared.”

Her words made Jack’s jaw grit before he gently placed a chaste kiss just in front of her ear murmuring into it, “It’s OK. You’re safe now. McKenzie is never coming within 100 miles of you again or else I’ll personally skin him alive!”

She pulled back her sad eyes staring into his as she shook her head slowly, “No, Jack. That was scary, I’ll admit.” She sighed, a tremble shaking her lanky frame as she whispered, “I was terrified... when... when I was... The Gamekeeper... he... I was...” Her sentence was completely disjointed by soft sobs.

He pulled her tightly to him, rubbing her back gently, “It’s alright, Sam. Tell me whenever you want.”

She pulled back again and stared into his eyes as her fingers traced over his face as she whispered, “I thought you were dead.” She shuddered at the memory, her arms snaking around him again as she mumbled, “I saw the kids die and I was sad... a lot more than sad... horrified...” She took a gasping breath, “I loved them. I loved them very much, but for some reason I felt empty.” Her eyes met his transfixing him in her bewitching azure gaze, as a tear rolled down her cheek, “But... when you... died...” Her lips trembled as she squeezed her eyes shut and let out a shaky whine.

Jack instinctively led her over to her small single bunk, sitting himself propped up against the wall as Sam crawled into his lap in the same position as she was in now.

She shuddered with tears as she whispered, “Don’t leave me, Jack. Never leave me. I never want to feel that again. Never!”

Jack caught her gaze trying to tell her with his eyes how much he loved her as he whispered, “I won’t.”

She had smiled slightly and before Jack could consider what he was doing he felt himself staring into her eyes and unable to move, transfixed by her eyes and the feeling growing within him. Her face had been inches from his and he’d felt her breath tickle his face as he slowly lifted a hand, his fingers curving around the back of her neck as he’d hesitantly let forward and kissed her.

She’d kissed back fervently and Jack loved knowing that this was the real Sam and that, unlike in his hellish vacation with the Gamekeeper and his Matrix, kissing her felt so right. It felt perfect.

He’d pulled back after a second realising the woman was crying again. He’d never seen her cry so much in his whole life and it terrified him. He knew Sam was completely overwhelmed by everything that had happened recently and that was the reason for her bitter, sad, horrified, frightened, happy and comforted tears.

She’d fallen asleep in his arms as they sat in Sam’s quarters in a comfortable silence only broken by the occasional soft hiccough from Sam. She’d been through hell, in fact, they all had, but for Sam it had been worse. Him, Daniel and Teal’c had all been through very emotionally traumatising circumstances, but Sam’s... Jack was lucky to have her in his arms right now. Very lucky. It had been a close shave.

Jack kissed her head softly and murmured, “I won’t leave you again. This is forever.”

When there was a reply Jack almost jumped out of his skin! Sam mumbled softly into his neck, “I know.”

He looked down at her and met the eyes of an amazing woman. She smiled softly staring up at him with an expression Jack had dreamed to see on her face so many times, except increased ten fold if it was possible.

With a lopsided grin, Jack spoke feeling the need to speak in a Lover’s whisper, “That’s if you can put up with me. Forever’s an awfully long time and you know how annoyi...”

“Shut up,” Sam hissed at him as she kissed him again.

Between the butterfly kisses alighting his lips, Jack managed to mumble, “Yes, Ma’am,” eliciting a soft giggle from Sam.

The kisses stopped in a surprised silence as he stared at her in shock. She stared back equally dumbfounded by the gentle giggle that had erupted from the grief stricken woman.

A true smile came to his face as he murmured, “You laughed.” He stroked his fingers down the side of her silky face as her soft, loving smile returned. He spoke honestly, almost sadly, realising how much that one laugh had moved him, “Yesterday, I thought I’d never hear you laugh again. I wanted you to laugh so badly.”

Tears made Sam’s eyes shimmer as she spoke quietly, “I’d do anything for you, Jack.”

He began to kiss her again passionately, his lips meandering along hers and then down her neck as he whispered, “You’re back.”

She cupped his face in her hands stared into his eyes and nodded, a fully fledged Sam Carter smile lighting her face, “I’m back!”

Sam laughed again as Jack began showering her with kisses and the listener’s smile grew. Finally, they were happy. Sam was well on the way back to normal, Jack was absolutely thrilled by that and was also back to normal. He now had the one thing that had kept him from it for so many years and she was now by his side. Daniel and Teal’c had been informed about Sam’s sudden recovery, and now they were happy too. And it seemed the whole SGC had suddenly become happy again.

General Hammond grinned removing his ear from the Major’s door when he realised he really shouldn’t be eavesdropping. He stood in the corridor for a moment realising the man and woman who he’d welcomed as his surrogate children were finally together. Both of them finally complete.

And in the End wasn’t that really what mattered? What those two no-longer-lonely people had been fighting for all along? The chance to kill off the Goa’uld. The chance to let Earth live happily ever after. The chance for Good to conquer Evil so everyone on this whole, wide planet could be content in the knowledge that the ones they loved were safe.

George’s grin dwindled to a knowing smile as he began walking along the corridor. He glanced at his wristwatch. 11:30am.

This was another complex and eventful day in the life of Major General George Hammond. And it was only just beginning...

~~~Å~~~

Goodbye Everybody, I’ve got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the Truth.

~Bohemian Rhapsody~

~~~FINIS~~~



End Notes: Yet more Author’s Notes: This is one of my favourite stories and IT’S FINALLY FINISHED!!! Yay! So if you have any comments you’d like to make email me, please! As it says in the lyrics above I’ve got to ‘face the Truth’! I have no social life and the more you email me the happier I’ll be. Thanks and keep on reading my stuff!

Copyright (c) 2004 Sam I Am

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