samandjack.net

Story Notes: A/N: Many thanks to Tammy.


Jack hadn't seen Carter since Jacob's funeral three days before – a quiet affair with an empty coffin, since Jacob had requested Selmac not be removed, and no one wanted to risk an alien autopsy special on some crazy news channel. She'd stood, in her blues, with Mark, his wife, and two kids who looked each a foot taller than in the pictures she had next to her computer at work.

She gave them the folded flag.

And now he scuffed the sole of his shoe against the doormat on her porch and thought this might be a really bad idea. But he'd already knocked, and he was tired, and he wanted to see her.

When she opened the door, her eyes and nose were red, but she gave him a watered-down smile and asked him if he wanted a beer.

He waited in the living room, and when she came back and handed him the bottle of beer, he jerked his head at the pile of clothes and books and magazines on the couch.

"Packing for the new house already?"

"No." She picked up a Denver Police Department sweatshirt from the pile on the couch and shook it out. Four paper bags, the nice kind with the handles from that big health food place downtown, sat at her feet.

Oh. "Oh." Crap. Bad timing. He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets as she meticulously folded the sweatshirt. Then again, when wasn't it.

"Carter... Sam."

The sweatshirt disappeared into one of the bags and she sagged down onto the couch, shifting a pile of Sports Illustrated out of her way. He thought her hands might be shaking as she tucked them up against her stomach, her fingers worrying at the hem of her shirt. "I'm okay, really."

It should scare him - it did scare him - the way she compartmentalized her life, her feelings, her grief, packing it all away like she did Pete's belongings.

But like Kerry had said, he wasn't the only one with issues.

"Look. I'm going to the cabin. Just for a few days. To get away. Do some thinking. Which might be hard since Daniel decided he wants to see what the big deal is about it, and he's making Teal'c come too. So-"

"Yes."

Jack stopped his headlong ramble. "Yes?"

"Yes," she said again. Her hands were still shaking, but her smile touched her eyes this time. "I want to come, too."

"It's a team thing. I don't want you to think... I'm not... It's not... Well it is, but..."

"I know. Thank you."

"You're welcome." And he unclenched his fingers from the lining of his pockets. "I'll call you tomorrow with the flight information."

"Tomorrow's good."

She walked him to the door. He started for the stairs, jingling his keys in his pocket, when she said, "Jack."

And then he was back inside, cupping her face in his hands. It was nothing more than a light brush of his lips against hers, more comfort and affection than passion or promise. She gripped his wrists and rubbed her thumbs across the backs of his hands before sliding her arms around his waist and pressing her forehead against his chest.

"It's okay to not be okay, you know. I mean, we do 'not okay' pretty well by now." he said, and let his fingers tangle in her hair.

Carter snorted and rubbed her nose against his shirt, hiccupping a short laugh before gently pushing him away. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I need to go buy some waders or lures or something."

"I see I have my work cut out for me."

"You have no idea." She gave him another gentle push and vanished back inside.

Jack stood on her porch and stared at the now-closed door and realized he really did have no idea about her, about them, but that maybe he was off to a good start.

END




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