"Hey Daniel...Colonol. I...I need to tell you something. Um...Uh, you should sit down." she said to them.
They sat down on a bench in the park, where she had asked to meet them.
"What's up Carter? Retiring?" Jack quipped, in his usual sarcastic manner.
She tried to smile, but this was serious.
"Sir, as much as I'd like to lighten the situation; I need you to be serious right now." she said. Jack's face went to the utmost serious expression he could have found. If Carter said it was serious, it was damn well serious.
"Sam...what's the matter?" queried Daniel, a worried look on his face.
"Daniel, Sir... I...I wanted to tell you this first, seeing as I don't have any idea how Teal'c is going to react, and I don't want to explain the situation to him without your help. He's on Chulak right now visiting his family anyway. But I wanted to talk to you two separately." she was quiet for what seemed like a lifetime. When she finally looked into their eyes, she said, "Colonel, Daniel...I have....I have cancer...in my right lung." and looked down again.
As she explained the situation, Daniel Jackson looked at his best friend with his mouth open, in horror. She had cancer. Samantha Carter, defeater of the Goa'uld, smartest person on the face of the earth in his eyes, had cancer. She was his long- lost sister. His best friend.
Jack O'Neill's thoughts went on these lines; Oh. My. God. What? WHAT? Sam....Carter has cancer? What....I...no....holy shit.....I....hell...WHY??.....Why her?....I.....Oh my god. Well say something!........ So he did.
"Oh my god. Sam.....I..." he looked at her with his eyes and saw how scared she was. He saw more fear in her eyes than he had ever seen before.
"Com'mere....." he said to her. She walked forward sat next to him and collapsed into Jack's arms. She was shaking with fear. She was so uncontrollably scared. She had defeated the Goa'uld, gotten her mind stamped, died and come back to life, not to mention 500 different scenarios, and she was falling deathly ill to cancer.
"Sir.....I...."she looked up at him with her blue eyes, glistening with moisture; tears threatening to fall.
"For God's sake Sam...at least call me Jack. Listen to me. Teal'c, Daniel and I are going to be with you on this the entire way. We will defeat this thing. There is no way in HELL; ours or sokar's version...that I am letting you go. You are the strongest woman I know, hell, probably the strongest person I know. You have been able to pull through these past 7 years, and you will now. Just, let us be there for you. Eh?" She nodded her head as he pulled her back down for another embrace. She allowed a tear to fall down her face.
Jack gently let her go and looked her in the eye. "Sam, I'm going to take a quick walk, I'll be back in a few minutes. Daniel...." He motioned for him to sit with Sam. He didn't want to make her feel like she needed someone to watch over her at every second, but god...As soon as he had walked around the bend in the park, he sprinted into the woods. Finding a secluded area, where no-one could hear him or see him, he sat down. `Sam has cancer. She hasn't told me how bad yet. She hasn't told me if they can do anything about it. She could die of this disease. Not from an alien disease or from a staff blast, from cancer.' He felt nauseous. His vision blurred and he felt as if he was going to be sick. He was. He leaned over to one side, and threw- up for the first time in he couldn't remember when. At least from being so emotional over something. He didn't want Sam, Daniel, or Teal'c to see him like this. He needed to be strong for her, for them. But my god. The woman he was head- over-heels in love with just told him she has cancer. He...'Wait, did I just admit I loved her?.....great timing Jack....' He picked up a rock and threw it at a nearby tree in disgust. The woman he cared about more than anything in the world, make that the galaxy, was ill, and all he could think about was how much he loved her. All this told him was that it was time he woke up. This was the last straw. He had to get up his courage and tell her how he really felt. He knew, in his heart of hearts that she would beat this thing, she had to. If she didn't he didn't know how he would go on living. But he had to tell her. This had gone on for far too long. He headed back to the park. He wouldn't tell her now. Soon, he promised himself. Soon.
While Jack as off on his `walk' Sam had a long conversation with Daniel.
"Sam, we're here for you. But, what's going on? How bad is it?" Daniel questioned her with amazing amounts of concern in his eyes.
"Daniel, they said there was an 70% chance of them getting rid of the cancer. Which is good but, I....god...I've faced so many things, but this, Daniel this is the worst. I had no idea what my father was going through..." She took Daniel's hand. "But I swear to God and to whoever else is listening, I'll get through this. I have to. I have far far too much life to live to not get through it. And I have too many things left unsaid not to get through it." she threw an almost undetectable look towards the woods where Jack had gone, but Daniel caught it, and let it be. "With you guys with me....I'll make it." she smiled teary eyed up to Daniel. "God Sam...I don't know what to say except you can trust us...all of us...to be here for you...ok?" Daniel gave her a grim, but reassuring smile and took her into his arms. He whispered into her ear not to worry her, but to tell her that they needed to find him if he didn't come back soon,
"How much you wanna bet Jack is in the woods kicking a stump or knocking down a tree?" Daniel looked at her.
"Daniel, I am SO afraid of how he's going to handle this. He can't deal with much more. He...he turned away from me when you..erm... died, I had no one to turn to...well that's not true, I had Teal'c and Janet, but I trusted him the most...I trusted him with my life...I still do...But what if he walks away again?"
"Uh Sam...I..."Daniel started
"Daniel, I KNOW I can't do this without the support of my three best friends. I'm just so scared he's not going to want to be around me. I know it sounds stupid but..." Sam looked at Daniel's face. He was blushing, one, two he was staring behind her with his mouth slightly open, and three he kind of ran about 20 feet away to another bench. "Daniel what the hell are you doing?" Sam felt a warm and secure hand on her shoulder. She knew his touch. She knew it was Jack. She sagged. She had just been voicing her concerns about his commitment towards her. How great was this.
She turned around and looked up into his eyes, "Sir, I...let me explain.." Jack put a finger to her lips.
"It's Jack, number one. Two, Sam I am SO sorry for abandoning you when Daniel glowed," Sam quirked her mouth up a bit. "I know I shouldn't have. I was just so freaked myself...I guess I was afraid to....let someone else...in?? Does that make sense? I'm not good with this stuff...three...I will NEVER leave you alone again Sam." He kneeled down beside her and took her shoulders with his hands and looked straight into her deep starry depths of blue eyes. "Never." he whispered once more.
Sam was once again, on the brink of tears. She didn't mean for this to get so incredibly emotional. She just...god...she needed them...all of them...especially Jack. She didn't know why. But she just did. And she believed him. That he wouldn't leave her alone.
"Thank you...Jack." she whispered in return, also returning the look cast in his captivating brown eyes. This time it was she who stood up and he stood beside her, and she embraced him. The emotion on their faces were feelings that most never saw on either of them. On Sam's, fear, gratefulness, relief of finally telling her friends, and not so hidden love for the man she was holding. On Jack's, fear, anxiety, strength, and the definite love he held for the woman who he was holding. On his cheek was a single tear. Not one that she would be seeing mind you.
"I uh...I'm going to put in a request to the general that SG-1 is on permanent leave until you can beat this thing. I know you're going to protest, but we need to be here for you. And...contrary to our first meeting oh, about 7 years ago," he winked, "SG-1 wouldn't work that well without you Carter."
She wasn't going to argue. Not this time anyway. "Thank you Sir." she spoke quietly.
"Sam. I know I just called you Carter, but let's work on this whole first name thing, shall we?" he gave a tight lipped smile.
"Sure thing...Jack..." she smiled in return.
"Feel like food?"
"Actually, yeah. Pizza sounds really good right now. I should be able to eat it for now, the Chemotherapy isn't scheduled to start for a few days." Sam told him. Jack looked at her with grave concern, but put it behind him. He wanted to make her feel like herself.
"Daniel! Get your butt over here! We're going for some pizza!" He yelled to his buddy ol' Doc Jackson.
*****
The last 6 months had been hell for SG-1, especially Sam, but the last two had been better. She had gone through so much. The chemo had taken it's toll on her body. Her hair was grown in, but she was still pretty thin, and most importantly, she was on the mend. The cancer, was gone. Helped mostly by the Goa'uld healing device. Jacob had used it on her as soon as she found out she had Cancer. Unfortunately, they couldn't contact Jake for four months, so she had to go with the Chemotherapy for that time. But now, 6 months later, Samantha Carter was at home, with her team. Jack and Daniel were shouting at the TV, some hockey game was on; well if she was truthful it was only Jack. Daniel had already had a beer so he was kind of out of it. She went into the kitchen to refill her water glass, and gave Teal'c a quick smile as she passed him. Once in the kitchen, her memories floated over events that took place within the last 6 months. One of them stood out prominently in her memory, which made her cry, and which made her stomach do backflips. She relived her memory.
~..................................................................Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c had been over to see Sam every other day. At least. She was fine, needed some alone time, but she was glad to have the company. She was still doing Chemotherapy, and it was definitely taking a serious toll on her body. Her stomach always hurt, she was throwing up a lot, and her hair....her hair was almost completely gone. She wasn't a vain person, but god...this was just so hard! She was so weak, and she felt so helpless. As her teammates sat downstairs chatting, waiting for her to `come back in a second' as she had said to them, she started crying on her bed, in her room. She hadn't allowed herself to really cry yet. Even after 3 months of knowing she had Cancer. She would have little outbursts, crying for 5 or 6 minutes at a time, but she hadn't had a breakdown. She needed one. She realized that now. Although it probably wasn't a good time with company downstairs, she couldn't hold it back any longer. She burst into tears. Sam Carter had only really cried a few times. One being when she lost her mother, the others being when she lost Daniel, when she thought she lost Jack with Maybourne, and when she found out her father had cancer. She sobbed uncontrollably.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
(STILL FLASHBACK)
She lay in her bed curled up on her side, and her face was red, and streaky. She had been gone from downstairs for probably a half-an-hour now, and she was still sobbing hard. If the door had been opened, and if she wasn't stifling her cries, she would've been well heard downstairs. As she thought about that, and about her current state, the door opened. She briefly looked over. `Oh god. Not him. I don't need my CO to see me having a mental breakdown. He'll think I'm soooo lost. Which I am. But being who he is I hope to god he'll understand.' were her first thoughts. As soon as Jack saw Sam on the bed, shaking and stifling her sobs, he had the urge to run over to her and cuddle her next to his own body, and embrace her until she felt completely safe. But he had to do something else first. He ran down the stairs and said to the two other people in the house. When she saw him leave, she started to cry harder, and had no idea what was going on. Jack rushed downstairs, "Guys...can you hang out for a while? Or go home? I need to talk to Sam....OK?" and with that he sprinted up the stairs, opened the door, slowly. Because he didn't want to make her anymore upset than she already was. He sat down beside her, and pulled her towards him. She looked up at him with more than wet eyes, and continued to cry, but it lessened a bit, seemingly so by his presence. He lied down beside her and took her into his arms. He pulled back the little bit of hair on her cheek and planted a tender kiss there. Only a few words were needed as he held her. "Sam. I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through. But I want you to know that no matter what, I still think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. You also have more integrity, courage, and spirit than anyone I've ever known. I'm here for you. Now, and always." she looked at him. Silent for a few moments. "Thank you, Jack..." she said as she buried her head into his chest, as he held her until she cried to sleep. She felt so safe, and loved in his arms.....................................................~
"Sam!" she was shaken awake from her memories by the sound of her name, and two hands on her shoulders.
"Are you OK?" Jack's concerned eyes already asked that question. Her eyes were moist, her hand to her mouth, as if she realized something.
Samantha looked at the man opposite her. The man who held her when she was in her deepest state of depression. The man she trusted with her life. The man she had just realized, while remembering her flashback, she loved.
"Yeah...yeah I'm fine." she quickly assured him. She had been cured of cancer for two months, and her hair had quickly grown back, it was now about two inches long. She tucked it behind her ears and shyly looked up at him. "But Jack, if it hadn't been for you, Daniel, Teal'c, and Dad, I wouldn't be. Especially you." She looked at him with tears in her eyes and before she could say another word, he took her into his arms in a tight embrace. One that spoke of the care he held for her, and how much he was thankful that she was alive and well. His thoughts were interrupted by whispered, almost non-audible words. But audible enough.
"I love you...." Sam hadn't even realized she had said it until he pulled back looking intensely surprised, but didn't run, or back away. She thought she had...thought it! Oh god, she...she did though....she might as well explain.
"Jack....Jack I...."
She was silenced by a finger on her lips.
"Say it again." This wasn't an order from her CO, it was a need from Jack. She smiled and looked into his eyes, took his hands in hers and held them to her.
"Jack, I love you." she stated, quietly, and simply.
Jack once again took her into his embrace, a tighter one this time, tears in his own eyes. He had fantasized about hearing those words so many times, and thought it would never be after she had gotten cancer. He wanted to tell her that so many times during the past 6 months, the last two especially since she was cured, but god. She said it. First.
"My God Sam...I never thought you'd say that.......I love you too." Jack smiled into her shoulder. She pulled back this time.
"We...I...we have to do something. I can't go on at work anymore pretending."
"Neither can I. Look, I...you're....you're not going to be physically fit for active duty for about another 2 months....I....I think....Sam...I talked to the General. I'm retiring. I want to be with you. Now more than ever. This...experience has been the most important wake-up call I've ever gotten. If...you want this too?" He asked her. She was surprised in the lack of faith in his tone. But then again, how long had they spent avoiding this?
"We...we have to take it a bit slow...if you know what I mean..." she blushed from her shoulders up, bright red, and continued. He just grinned. "But yes, Jack. This is what I want. Now more than ever." She repeated his words.
He looked at her as if asking her permission...and moved closer. Her heart started pounding. He took the lock of hair that covered her face and moved it behind her ear. She breathed quicker at his touch. He smiled. They're closeness was doing the same thing to her that it was to him. Well maybe not *exactly* the same. He had...a bit of a side arm...if you get my drift. But all the same, she closed her eyes to his touch and leaned into his hand. He took his opportunity and lowered his lips to hers. The kiss started slowly, but heated up in intensity quickly. She allowed him entry to her mouth. Her knees seemed like they would buckle, but his arms around her waist and entwined in her hair at the back of her neck kept her up straight. She hadn't felt like this, ever. She was kissing the man she loved. She took control of the kiss, and felt him give way. It was breathtaking to say the least. She never knew what sparks in her body felt like, until now. All she could think about was the fact of what would come later, if just kissing him was this good, and felt this right....
"Jack, Sam? Where's the...?" Daniel stepped into the room and caught the couple in a passionate embrace.
"Oops..." stated Daniel, and he blushed, leaving the kitchen.
Sam and Jack blushed and looked at each other before bursting out laughing. He really did have the worst sense of timing. He leaned his forehead against hers.
"Well the cats out of the bag. I have to say...this is the best decision I've ever made...in my entire life. I...geezus Sam...I really love you." He whispered the last words to her. She just smiled and pulled him down for one more brief kiss.
"I love you too." she whispered back, and headed out in the living room hand in hand, going to explain to ol' Danny boy what he just saw, and to Teal'c what Daniel was most likely telling him.....
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Story Notes: SPOILERS: Meridian, Ascension, Bloodlines...couple others....nothing major
SEASON/TIMEFRAME: Anytime after Grace in Season 7, but BEFORE she meets Pete.
AKA: They never met.
SEASON/TIMEFRAME: Anytime after Grace in Season 7, but BEFORE she meets Pete.
AKA: They never met.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]