Jack groaned, swiping at the offending item that was beeping in his ear. Belatedly, he realised that the alarm was actually on the other side of the bed, but by then he’d already bashed his hand on the bed-side table. “Crap!” he swore quietly, rubbing his sore fist.
“Good morning to you too,” Sam mumbled in reply, managing to stop the offensive noise. She rolled back over and snuggled into the warm body beside her. She sighed as his arms came around her, snuggling closer and listening to the beat of his heart. ‘I’ll just lay here for a few minutes,’ Sam thought, as she drifted off to sleep.
When Jack opened his eyes, he looked down at the beautiful woman slumbering beside him. Her mouth was slightly open, a small amount of drool on his chest, and her hand was resting over his heart. He smiled, thinking back to the previous night when they’d had a long talk and decided that they both wanted to pursue a relationship. His eyes flicked over to the alarm clock, his smile freezing on his face as he realised they’d slept in. “Sam! Wake up.”
Her eyes flickered open and she smiled up at him when she saw him looking at her. Then she looked at the clock behind her and swore. “How long have you been awake?” she accused as she jumped out of bed.
“I just woke up,” he defended. “If we forgo showers and breakfast, we might just make it.”
“If traffic decides to be nice to us,” Sam added.
She started dressing, while Jack started hunting for his clothes. It was quite distracting for Sam to see him wandering around the house, naked.
Jack paused, looking around and scratching his head. “Baby, where’d you throw my boxers last night?”
“How should I know?” she answered. “I wasn’t exactly concentrating on that.”
“Well what am I supposed to put on? I don’t have time to go to my place first. We’ll be lucky to get there before the briefing as it is.”
Sam shrugged as she buttoned up her shirt. “Don’t wear any. You’ve got a spare pair on base, right?”
“I’m not going commando!”
Shaking her head, Sam sat on the bed and started putting on her boots. “Why not? Who’s going to know?”
“I will,” was the indignant reply. “Besides, these pants chafe.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “How do you know?”
“I just do.” He pulled her to her feet. “Come on! Help me find them!”
“Jack, we don’t have time,” she insisted. “Now either go without, or put a pair of mine on.”
Jack just stared at her for a moment. “You want me to wear yourunderwear?!” he asked, incredulous.
“For crying out loud, Jack! Just get your butt into gear!” She gave him a quick kiss as she walked out the bedroom door. “I’ll see you at work. Least then one of us might be on time.”
Jack watched her leave, his jaw still on the floor. ‘Wear Sam’s panties?’ he thought to himself. ‘That would be just... weird.’ A quick look at the time made him realise that he had to make a decision. “To wear, or not to wear. That is the question,” he said aloud. “Maybe I should just see what she’s got.”
He walked over to the draw that he’d noticed Sam get her underwear from, pulling it open and delving inside. He pulled out a small scrap of material, holding it up. “Oh, yeah, like I’d fit all my bits in that,” he declared, throwing the thong on the bed. Rummaging around again, he pulled out various items, all of which were either too lacy, too satiny, or just too little of anything. Just about to give up, Jack found a pair of red cotton briefs. They were marginally better, in that there may just be enough material to cover the pertinent areas. On the down side, they had ‘BABE’ emblazoned across the rear of them.
“Who’s gonna see?” he questioned, putting them on. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to adjust them so he wouldn’t be talking in a higher octave. They were so obviously female, even if they didn’t have it stamped across his butt. “Move it, Jack!” he told himself, realising that he had very little time to get to work. He quickly dressed, and hurried out the door.
Thankfully, he didn’t encounter any highway patrol cars on his way to the Base, and made it with minutes to spare. He sat opposite a grinning Sam, and started to listen as the General outlined their next mission.
Sam glanced over at Jack, who had started wriggling in his seat. She stifled a grin, wondering if he was uncomfortable from wearing no underwear or her underwear. She had to admit it was little strange to think about her new lover wearing a pair of her panties. ‘Talk about the best kept secret on the Base,’ she thought to herself.
‘God these things are uncomfortable,’ Jack thought, trying to move into a more comfortable position. ‘How can Sam stand to wear them?’ Of course he knew the answer to that one. He had appendages that she didn’t. He hated wearing men’s briefs because he found them too restricting. Women’s... well let’s just say Sam’s panties were starting to cut off circulation to vital parts of his body.
Finally, Hammond finished the briefing, giving them thirty minutes before they were to depart. Jack sprang from his seat, heading towards his quarters where a pair of boxers were waiting for him. He’d just made it to his door when he heard the deep voice of Teal’c behind him. Swearing to himself, he turned to greet his friend and teammate. “What’s up, Teal’c?”
“I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment?” He looked around. “Perhaps in your quarters?”
Barely withholding a sigh, Jack nodded and opened the door. “What’s the problem?” he asked. As he talked, he walked over to the small drawers beside his bed and pulled out a spare T-shirt, pair of socks and two pairs of boxers.
“I was approached by Sergeant Hilby this morning.”
“Really? What did she want?” Jack asked, his mind conjuring up a picture of the tall feisty red head. She was the second most sought after women on the base. ‘Although the most sought after is well and truly off the market,’ he thought smugly.
“She asked me to have dinner with her when we return from our mission.”
“Teal’c, you dog! You said yes, right?”
The Jaffa nodded. “I did.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I am unfamiliar with Earth’s courting rituals,” Teal’c told him.
It was something Jack hadn’t thought about. He remembered his own first date. It had been a terrifying event. Of course he’d been a tad younger than Teal’c at the time, with far less experience with women. “I’ll tell you all I can, Teal’c. How ‘bout we talk about it on this planet we’re ‘gating to? The only person who’ll be doing anything is Daniel, so we’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
“That would be pleasing, O’Neill. Now, I believe it would be wise to make our way to the embarkation room, if we do not wish to anger General Hammond.”
“Crap,” Jack exclaimed, realising he was right. ‘God, I don’t think I can stand wearing these things much longer.’ Knowing that Teal’c was waiting for him, Jack bit back a groan and shoved his change of clothes, along with the boxers he was dying to put on, into his back pack. He followed his friend out the door and they headed to meet up with the others.
Sam pulled him aside while they were waiting for the ‘Gate to dial up. “Feel better now?” she asked.
“No!” he growled, keeping his voice low. “Teal’c cornered me and I couldn’t get changed.”
That confirmed to her that he was wearing her underwear. He wouldn’t have been embarrassed about changing in front of Teal’c. After all, the men did shower and dress in the same room more often than not. She couldn’t help the giggle that formed as she tried to think of which pair of panties he could be wearing.
“It isn’t funny,” he scolded. “This is your fault.”
“My fault?”
“Yes. If you hadn’t thrown my boxers God knows where in your hurry to get me naked, I would have had a pair to put on.”
She looked hurt at that. “You weren’t complaining last night,” she groused.
“Yeah, well I wasn’t about to go across the galaxy wearing a pair of panties with ‘BABE’ stamped on my butt.”
Sam couldn’t help it any more, she burst into a fit of giggles, earning the attention of the rest of her team and the SF’s standing in the room.
“You wanna share what’s so funny?” Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow at his friends.
“Ah, no,” Jack replied as the ‘Gate opened.
Shrugging to Teal’c, Daniel started walking up the ramp, Teal’c, Jack and a still giggling Sam following.
Once they exited the wormhole, they all stopped dead. The planet looked even better than the MALP images. The Stargate was set on a dais just to the side of a long beach. The lapping water was a crystal blue. Then there was the lush green jungle. Colourful birds chirped gaily as they sat in the trees. It was paradise.
“Do you think they’d notice if we stayed a bit longer?” Jack asked, momentarily forgetting his discomfort. “Like maybe a month or so?”
“I believe General Hammond will notice the minute we are overdue, O’Neill,” Teal’c pointed out.
Jack sighed. “Oh, well. A man can dream, can’t he?” He looked around. “Daniel? You want to get started on those ruins? Teal’c can go with you. Carter, you can collect your samples I’ll set up camp.” Jack squirmed a bit. ‘And get the hell out of Sam’s panties,’ he thought to himself.
Daniel and Teal’c wandered off to the ruins, which were only a few yards away from the Stargate. Sam gave him one last amused look before wandering down to the water to start getting her samples. Jack sighed and started unpacking the gear. First thing to go up was the tent. Jack was sure he’d erected it in record time.
Looking around, Jack saw that Daniel and Teal’c were engrossed in the ruins and Sam was busy with her samples. He grabbed his pack and ducked into the tent. Sitting down, he unlaced his boots, pulling them off and throwing them to the side. He then unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers off. Kneeling with his back to the opening, he didn’t hear Daniel walk up to the tent and stick his head inside. He did, however, hear the gasp as Daniel saw him kneeling there, wearing the red pair of panties.
‘Oh crap!’ Jack’s mind screamed as he looked over his shoulder at his friend. “Uh, Daniel... Look...”
Daniel managed to close his mouth. “It’s okay, Jack. You don’t have to explain. I’ll um... I’ll leave you to it.”
Daniel backed up so fast that he tripped over himself and landed in a heap on the ground. That got Sam and Teal’c’s attention and they walked over to see what was going on.
“You okay, Daniel?” Sam asked, helping the archaeologist to his feet.
Daniel could only nod in reply, stunned at what he had seen. He had never suspected that a hardened Colonel, and his best friend, could be one of those people that enjoyed wearing women’s clothing.
Jack exited the tent then, having changed into his boxers and put his pants back on. Sam looked at him curiously, seeing the bright red blush that stained his cheeks. “What’s going on?” she asked, looking between the two embarrassed men.
Jack held out his hand and gave her the panties. She looked at them, finally figuring out what had happened. She knew it was cruel, but she couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Tears were streaming down her face as she laughed, trying to talk, but unable to get enough air.
“I do not understand Major Carter’s amusement,” Teal’c said, thinking, not for the first time, that his friends were strange.
“All right, you’ve had you’re fun. You can stop laughing now,” Jack told her.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped. “It’s just too funny.”
“Not from my perspective,” Jack groused.
Sam finally calmed down enough to actually look at the pair of panties that Jack had been wearing. “Did you have to pick a pair that I haven’t even worn yet?” she asked him.
Daniel, who was looking more confused by the minute, nearly choked on the air he was breathing. “They’re yours?!”
Sam gulped. “Ah...”
“Jack was wearing a pair of *your* panties?!”
“Ah...”
“Is it a Tau’ri courting ritual to wear your partner’s under garments, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked, eyebrow raised. He wondered how he would possibly fit into a pair of Sergeant Hilby’s panties.
“No, Teal’c it’s not,” Jack replied, finally regaining some control. He looked at Sam. “I think we’ve got some explaining to do.”
*****
It took some work, but eventually they managed to convince Daniel that Jack really wasn’t a cross-dressing colonel. They also had to convince Teal’c that if he started dating Hilby, he wouldn’t have to wear her underwear.
After the air had been cleared, and Sam and Jack had got the blessing of their friends with regards to their relationship, the couple decided they would go and explore a little in the jungle. They shouldered their packs and headed off, leaving Daniel and Teal’c to play in the ruins.
They’d only been walking for five minutes when they heard the rushing of water. Pushing through the dense jungle, they came to a clearing, both gasping at the sight before them. The waterfall must have been twenty feet high, cascading down into a crystal clear pool. “It’s beautiful,” Sam whispered.
“Think we can take a dip?” Jack asked, eyes twinkling.
“I thought we decided to leave our personal relationship at home?” she returned, unshouldering her pack.
Jack did the same and pulled Sam towards him. “I know, and we will. But look at this place, Sam. I’m in paradise with a woman I’ve been dreaming about for so long. Who knows what hell hole we’ll be in on our next mission. Why don’t we enjoy what we discovered last night?”
Sam smiled, closing the gap so their lips were almost touching. “Why don’t we?” she agreed and kissed him.
They pulled apart and stripped off their clothes before wading into the cool water of the pool. Sam swam over so she was standing under the waterfall, letting the water rain down on her. Jack simply watched, mesmerised. He couldn’t believe that the beauty before him was all his.
He started to wade over to her when he stepped on something. “Ow!” he exclaimed, hoping around on one foot.
“What happened?” Sam asked, immediately moving over to him.
“I stepped on something,” he told her, trying to lift his foot up so he could see the damage.
“Come back to the shore and let me have a look,” Sam told him, leading him to the water’s edge. She got a field blanket out of her pack, spreading it on the ground and telling Jack to sit down. She gently lifted his foot, wincing when she saw the sharp piece of rock that was sticking out of a nasty cut.
Rummaging around in her pack, Sam found the first aid kit and grabbed a pair of tweezers. She carefully removed the slither of rock and dressed the wound for him. She looked up when she’d finished and saw Jack watching her with dark eyes.
“Let me thank you,” he said to her, pulling her body to him and kissing her deeply.
*****
General Hammond had just finished SG-5’s debriefing when the klaxons sounded, indicating an incoming traveller. He made it to the control room just as the IDC came though, telling them it was the Tok’ra. “Open the iris,” he told Sergeant Davis before he turned and headed for the ‘Gate room. He had just walked through the door when the event horizon rippled and Jacob Carter stepped through. “It’s good to see you, Jacob,” Hammond greeted, as the wormhole deactivated.
“You too, George.” He looked around the ‘Gate room. “Is my little girl around?”
“I’m afraid she’s on a mission at the moment. They’re not due back until tomorrow.”
Jacob sighed. “First time I get the chance to come on a social visit in months, and she’s off-world.”
“Why don’t you join them?” Hammond suggested, knowing how much his friend missed his daughter. “The world I sent them to is an uninhabited paradise by all accounts. Basically, it’s a bit of a break for them after the chaos of the last few months.”
“Are you sure, George? I don’t want to disturb her while she’s working.”
Hammond grinned. “When Colonel O’Neill saw the MALP readouts he said that Doctor Jackson would be playing with his rocks while he, Teal’c and Major Carter worked on their sun tans.” He patted his long time friend on the back. “Go and spend some time with your daughter, Jacob.” He told Sergeant Davis to dial up the Stargate, and bid farewell to his friend as he stepped back through the Stargate.
*****
Daniel looked worried as the Stargate dialed up. He glanced at Teal’c, who already had his staff weapon at the ready. They were relieved when the wormhole established and Jacob stepped onto the dais.
“Is there a problem, General Carter?” Teal’c asked, surprised to see the Tok’ra.
“No, Teal’c. Just a social call.”
“Nice to see you, Jacob,” Daniel greeted.
“You too, Daniel. Where’s my daughter?”
“She and Jack said something about going exploring. I can radio them if you want?” Daniel started searching around for his radio.
Jacob shook his head, stilling Daniel’s movements. “I’ll go and find them. I want to surprise her.”
Shrugging, Daniel pointed Jacob in the direction they’d taken and got back to his translations.
Jacob wandered into the jungle, amazed at the beauty of the place. The Tok’ra tended to inhabit desert planets so Jacob rarely got the chance to see trees, let alone a place as beautiful as this. He heard the sound of running water up ahead, and smiled at the thought of finding a waterfall. He headed in the direction of the sound and was almost through the trees when he heard a noise. He stopped dead, his ears straining to hear anything over the sound of rushing water. He heard it again. A moan, followed by a strangled “Oh, God!”
Unsure what to think, Jacob retrieved his zat gun and crept through the trees. What he saw stunned him. His daughter and her commanding officer were lying on a field blanket, both naked. The way they were entwined together made it clear what they were up to.
Jacob blushed, both from seeing his daughter having sex and the thoughts that Selmac was having about it. In his haste to escape, he failed to see the exposed root that sent him flying to the ground.
Jack and Sam jumped when they heard a noise. Looking in the direction the sound had come from, they were both horrified to see Jacob Carter picking himself off the ground. “Dad!” Sam gasped, holding Jack against her to shield her nakedness.
“Uh, General... I can, uh, explain...” Jack fumbled, not sure if it was worse to stay laying on Sam or get up and stand there naked.
Jacob cleared his throat. “I’ll, um... I’ll meet you back at base camp,” he told them, beating a hasty retreat.
“Oh God,” Sam moaned, this time not in pleasure. “I can’t believe my father just caught me having sex with my commanding officer.”
Jack just groaned his agreement, wondering why he’d got out of bed that morning.
They got dressed quickly and headed back to base camp. Jack was limping, his foot still hurting. When they got there, Sam’s dad was sitting on the steps leading to the Stargate, deep in thought.
“Maybe you should let me talk to him,” Sam suggested.
Jack was quick to agree, not quite ready to be killed by an irate father, a General no less. “Scream if you need me,” he told her, not daring to show any sign of affection as Jacob looked up at them.
Jack went over to talk to Daniel and Teal’c while Sam sat down next to her father. They both sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to start the conversation.
“I guess you must be pretty disappointed in me,” Sam finally said.
“That depends,” Jacob returned.
Sam looked confused. “On what?”
“On whether what I just saw was because the two of you couldn’t keep your hormones in check, or because of something deeper,” Jacob explained.
“It’s deeper than a fling, Dad,” she assured him.
Jacob nodded, pleased by the answer. “Do you love him?”
“I know I care about him. I’m not sure if it’s love, but I really want to find out.”
Jacob saw how his daughter’s eyes sparkled with happiness. Even though his military mind was screaming that they were breaking regulations, the part of him that was a father welcomed the chance for his daughter to find happiness. Selmac was siding with the father, tipping the scales. “Why don’t you send Jack over here?” Jacob asked his daughter.
Sam nodded nervously, rising to her feet and heading over to where her teammates were. “Uh, Dad would like to talk to you,” she told Jack. If she hadn’t been so worried for his welfare, she would have laughed at the look on his face.
He gulped and nodded, walking over to where the Tok’ra sat. ‘A father, a general and an alien. I’m a dead man,’ Jack thought as he almost stood at attention in front of Jacob.
“Sit down, Jack,” Jacob invited, patting the step beside him.
“Yes, sir,” Jack replied, managing to sit at attention.
Barely withholding a chuckle at the younger man’s nervousness, Jacob got straight to the point. “Why are you with my daughter?”
“Sir?” Jack asked, unsure what he meant.
“What are your reasons for being involved with Sam?”
Finally understanding what the older man was asking, Jack smiled. “Because she’s an amazing woman and I want her in my life,” he replied, hoping honesty would stop him from getting maimed.
It was obviously the right answer. Jacob smiled widely, patting Jack on the back. “Fair enough.” He paused for a moment, while Selmac tried to stop him from continuing. “Did you know that the Tok’ra are highly skilled at torture?” he finally asked, having won the argument.
Jack gulped. “Uh, really, sir?”
“Yes. If you ever hurt my daughter, you’re going to find out first hand. You read me, Colonel?”
“Yes, sir!” Jack replied, nodding vigorously.
*****
Pleased to have her father’s approval with no blood shed, Sam suggested they take a dip in the ocean before lunch. It was met with approval by the others, who promptly stripped off to their boxers and headed into the water. Sam joined them, deciding that enough people had seen her sans clothing, and leaving her T-shirt on. They played around for a while, enjoying the chance to let their hair down after the stress of the last few months.
Things were going well until Jack yelped, almost sprinting out of the water.
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, concerned.
“Something stung me!” he returned.
“Where?” Sam asked, as the others gathered around their friend.
Jack blushed slightly and pointed vaguely to the back of him.
“On you’re back?” she questioned, moving to try and get a look.
Shaking his head, Jack whispered in her ear.
“Oh,” she replied, looking around at the other three. “Ah, excuse us for a minute.” She grabbed the first aid kit and pulled Jack into the tent.
Jacob, Daniel and Teal’c looked at each other, shrugging and heading to sit on the dais to dry off.
Inside the tent, Jack was lying on his stomach while Sam gently pulled his boxers down. She winced at the red welt on his right buttock. She gently probed around the area, earning a grunt of pain from Jack. “Sorry,” she whispered, concentrating on trying to see if the stinger was still in it.
“What if it’s poisonous or somethin’?” Jack asked her. “Shouldn’t you try and suck it out?”
Realising that he was right, and thanking every deity that they were now more than friends, Sam took a deep breath before bending down and sucking on the area.
Of course, with the day he was having, Jack should have known that someone would walk in at that particular moment. “I am unfamiliar with this mating ritual,” Teal’c told them, raising an eyebrow.
Sam, eyes wide at being caught in a compromising position yet again, pushed Teal’c aside so she could spit any poison out. She glanced at her father and Daniel, who were both smirking at her. Groaning, she gave the two her best stern look. “You guys want to pack up while I tend to Jack’s, uh, injury? We’ll need to get him home in case this thing was poisonous. While you’re at it, maybe you can explain to Teal’c how you treat a poisonous bite while you’re out in the wilderness?” With that she ducked back in the tent.
Treating the wound was the easy part. Sam then had to figure out how to get Jack dressed when he had an injured foot and a bite on his butt. It took some imagination, and more than a little swearing, but they finally managed to get him presentable. They finished packing up and Daniel dialed out. Once the wormhole was established, they sent the signal and made their way back home.
Relieved to be home, Jack momentarily forgot about his injured foot, putting his weight on it and then yelping at the pain from the gash. Hopping on to the other foot, he lost his balance and pitched forward. He heard the snap as he hit the ramp, groaning as he felt the pain radiate from his now broken arm. ‘Yep,’ he thought as Sam gently led him to the infirmary. ‘Some days you should just stay in bed.’ He looked across at Sam. ‘Especially when you wake up with the woman of your dreams.’
THE END
Story Notes: AUTHOR: Jez- jez80@ozemail.com.au
SPOILERS: none
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack and Heliopolis please.
AUTHORS NOTES: This is my answer to the ‘2000 Panties Challenge,’ which means I’m blaming this weirdness all on DustDevil for issuing the challenge! ;-) Thanks to Kes and Jenn for beta’ing it for me.
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
SPOILERS: none
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack and Heliopolis please.
AUTHORS NOTES: This is my answer to the ‘2000 Panties Challenge,’ which means I’m blaming this weirdness all on DustDevil for issuing the challenge! ;-) Thanks to Kes and Jenn for beta’ing it for me.
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]