“Jack O’Neill!” Sam admonished, as Jack once again tried to stop her from getting ready.
“Yes?” he asked innocently, pulling on the sash of her robe.
“Okay, that’s it. Out you go! I’m never going to be ready if you keep trying to distract me.” She pushed him out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him. She’d been trying to get ready for the last hour, and Jack was doing a very good job of getting in her way.
Jack stood and looked at the closed door, highly amused. He was having a great time bugging her as she tried to get ready. He reached for the door knob, ready to go back in but realised she’d locked it. He was just considering how he could sneak back into the bedroom, when the doorbell rang.
Sighing at being distracted from his task, he walked back down the stairs and opened the door. “Hey, Janet,” he said as he let her in.
“Hi, Jack. Is the bride-to-be ready to go yet?”
“I don’t know, I’ve been banished from the bedroom.” He turned and walked to the bottom of the stairs. “Sammy! Janet’s here!”
“Okay!” she called back.
Janet moved into the living room and sat down on the sofa, while Jack sat in his favourite chair. “So what are you girls up to tonight?” he asked curiously.
“Oh you know, we’re gonna start with dinner and a few drinks and things at my place. Then we’ll go out and see what mischief we can get up to.”
“You’re not gonna get her into any trouble are you?” Jack asked, suspicious.
“Jack! How could you think such a thing? She’s my best friend! Besides, if I were you, I’d be more worried about what the boys have lined up for you!”
Jack was about to reply when Sam walked down the stairs. “Wow!” he said when he saw her. “You look great! How ‘bout we stay home?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Janet stood in between them, shaking her head. “No way, Mister. Sam’s going out to have some fun with the girls. You party with the guys.”
Jack sighed dramatically. “Fine, but Sam, I think you should get changed.”
Sam looked down at the short black dress. “Why?”
“Because you look too good and all the guys are gonna be trying to hit on you!”
That got a laugh from Sam. “I guess my combat training may come in handy then. Just think, Jack, if I go out like this, then I come home like this,” she purred in his ear. She gave him a teasing kiss and headed for the door. “Have fun out with the boys.”
“Be good,” he returned with a grin.
“Never!” she said and they walked out the door.
*****
They got to Janet’s at about six, and Janet quickly got changed before the first guest arrived. It was Lucy, carrying a present and a bottle of Kahlua. Janet had asked everyone to bring a bottle of alcohol so they could make cocktails and shooters. “Hey!” she greeted, giving Sam a hug. “I hope you’re ready to get totally crazy.”
“Don’t forget we’re a few years older then you, Lucy,” Sam reminded.
“Nonsense! You’re only as old as you feel.”
About two minutes later Sam’s other bridesmaid, Jocelyn, turned up, carrying her drink for the evening. Orange juice. “Why couldn’t you have gotten married four months ago?” she asked as she hugged her friend.
“Why couldn’t you have waited until next week to get pregnant?” Sam returned. “Come on, you’ll have a great time anyway. I know you.”
“Oh, you bet. I’m not letting a little thing like being four months pregnant stop me!”
It wasn’t long before the house was filled with Sam’s friend’s and female colleagues. Looking at the large array of alcohol lining the kitchen bench, Sam started to look a bit worried. “You guys do realise that I’m an Air Force Major? I’m supposed to behave myself.”
Janet gave her a look. “Not tonight you’re not. Tonight you’re Sam Carter, bride-to-be. Besides, I’m sure General Hammond will be involved in whatever the guys have planned for Jack.”
Sam shook her head. “Daniel promised me he wouldn’t let it get out of control.”
Janet grinned and handed Sam a shooter. “And I promise I won’t let this get out of control. Now drink your Cowboy Cock Sucker and have fun.”
Sam eyed Janet suspiciously before downing the shooter. She had to admit it was quite nice, the creamy alcohol burned down her throat and warmed her stomach.
“Another?” Janet asked as she handed Sam another shooter.
Sam downed the shooter and turned as Lucy walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Sam, I’ve got just the thing to get this party started.” She nodded to Jocelyn, who pressed play on the stereo. Everyone started laughing as they recognised the tune and they all jumped up and started dancing around Janet’s living room, singing at the top of their voice.
“Let’s go girls!
I’m going out tonight- I’m feelin’ alright
I’m gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise- really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions- make no conditions
Get a little outa line
I ain’t gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy- forget I’m a lady
Men’s shirts- short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild- yeah doin’ it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action- feel the attraction
Color my hair- do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free- yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Girls need a break- tonight we’re gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don’t need romance- we only wanna dance
We’re gonna let our hair hang down
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy- forget I’m a lady
Men’s shirts- short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild- yeah doin’ it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action- feel the attraction
Color my hair- do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free- yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!”
They were all laughing and puffing by the time the song finished. It was just what they needed to get the party in full swing.
*****
Sam laughed as she opened the present that Jocelyn had given her. “Do you think we need this?” she asked, holding up the book titled ‘Karma Sutra For Beginners’.
“Hey, variety’s the spice of life, my dear. Ben bought one for us and I swear, our sex life has never been better.”
“Which is why she’s now got a bun in the oven,” Janet quipped.
Everyone looked over Sam’s shoulder as she flicked through the book. “I can see a lot of trips to the Emergency Room here,” Sam said, turning the book upside down as she tried to figure out how two people could do it like *that*. “Is that even anatomically possible?”
“I recommend page 37,” Jocelyn told her.
Putting the book aside for future investigation, Sam reached for the final gift. The card on the front was simple. ‘To My Best Friend’. Sam smiled at Janet and ripped off the paper. She opened the box and delved into the tissue paper, pulling out a satin negligée. The pale blue colour was identical to the colour of her wedding dress. “Oh, Janet. It’s beautiful,” she breathed.
Janet hugged her friend. “I thought it would be nice to wear on your Honeymoon.”
“Thank you, it’s perfect.”
Releasing Janet, Sam turned to face all of her friends. “Thank you all for everything. You guys are the best bunch of friends a girl can have. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” She looked across at the heap of presents, most of which were of a sexual nature. “And these gifts... Poor Jack’s not going to know what hit him!”
They all laughed, taking turns to hug the bride-to-be.
“Okay,” Janet said, clapping her hands. “Now I think it’s time to go to our second location of the night. Let’s all rendezvous there in fifteen minutes. We have tables booked in Sam’s name. Let’s move out, people.”
“Where are we going?” Sam asked as she was ushered out the door.
“You’ll see,” Janet replied, not willing to reveal anything.
*****
Ten minutes later, Jocelyn, Janet, Lucy and Sam got out of Jocelyn’s car and Sam was led down the street. “Exotica?” Sam squeaked, not willing to believe her friends were leading her into a strip club.
“Oh, yeah,” Jocelyn replied, grinning at her friend. “I’ve heard good things about this place.”
They were shown to their tables by scantily clad males, who all got mighty friendly with Sam when they realised it was her bachelorette party. “You’re first drink’s on the house,” the gorgeous waiter told her, giving her a heart-stopping smile.
“Really? Well, what do you suggest?” she replied. She’d had just enough to drink at Janet’s and was enjoying the attention.
“Well honey, I’ve always liked a Long Gentle Screw Against the Wall, myself.”
Sam laughed. “Okay, I’m game. Give me a Long Gentle Screw Against the Wall.”
That got her friends in hysterics, and they all started ribbing Sam as the waiter went off to get their drinks. “You wait until Jack hears about this!” Jocelyn stated, laughing hard.
“What?” Sam asked. “You guys get me liquored up and bring me to a strip club, you’ve gotta expect me to go a little crazy.”
Janet nodded her agreement. “That’s the plan, Sam,” she told her friend, handing her a wad of dollar bills. “Go crazy.”
Sam grinned, eyeing the waiter as he returned with the drinks. “Anything else I can get you?” he asked.
“Not right now, thanks,” Sam replied, tucking a dollar bill into his tight little hot-pants.
He nodded his thanks, giving her another sexy smile. “Just call me if you need me.”
The lights dimmed, indicating the show was about to start. The crowd started cheering, the loudest of which were the SGC party. That wasn’t surprising, considering they made up half of the women in the room.
The compere walked up onto the stage, carrying a microphone. “Good evening, ladies!” he called. “Welcome to Exotica. Are you ready for our show?!”
A deafening “yes!” filled the room.
He nodded his approval. “We have a young woman here tonight who is celebrating her bachelorette party. Where are you, Sam?” A spotlight was pointed at her, as all of her friends yelled and cheered. “Ah, there she is. Now, Sam, your dear friend Jocelyn told us a little secret about you. You had a thing for cowboys when you were at college?” Sam blushed and smacked Jocelyn playfully on the arm. “Well, we have a young man here tonight who would like to help Sam reminisce. Give a big round of applause to Rory!”
The lights dimmed and a silhouette became apparent on the stage. The only thing that was clear was his outline and the fact that he was wearing a cowboy hat. The music started and he started moving, hips gyrating to the beat. The lights came on and most of the women screamed as they caught sight of the gorgeous man. He was only wearing his hat, a sleeveless flannelette shirt, a pair of chaps and a black, leather thong.
As he started his routine, the shirt was the first to go. He drew it out, taking one button at a time, as his hips continued to move in time to the music. As the routine continued, the girls quickly realised that Rory could also dance - and dance well. As he shimmied back across the stage, he started removing the chaps, much to the audience’s approval. The ladies cheered as he started dancing again, now dressed only in his thong and hat.
He jumped off the stage, deciding to give the patrons a close up view of his routine. Sam, of course, got special attention. He danced in front of her, moving so he straddled her legs and placing his hat on her head. He grinned as he saw her blush, grasping her hand and running it down his chest. Regaining some of her composure, Sam raised an eyebrow as she showed him a dollar bill. He answered her with a grin and a nod, allowing Sam to tuck the note into his thong. Leaning over, he kissed her cheek before grabbing his hat and dancing off to some of the other patrons.
As Rory’s routine finished, Janet noticed the compere making his way towards their table. She grinned and nudged Jocelyn, who just smiled, knowing what was coming next. They watched as Sam sat down, having given Rory a standing ovation, not noticing the compere until he started speaking.
“So, Sam,” the compere began, seating himself on her lap. “Is your fiancé a cowboy?”
Sam laughed, still blushing. “No, he’s an Air Force officer,” she replied into the microphone.
“You mean we brought out the wrong man? Perhaps we should have brought out Kurt!” He gestured to the stage where a gorgeous young man stood at attention, wearing Air Force dress blues and saluting the crowd.
“Enjoy your night,” the compere told her, getting off her lap and going back to work.
Sam hardly heard him. All of her friends were going crazy at the sight of the handsome man in uniform.
“Oh, wow!” Janet cried, wolf whistling.
“I want one!” Lucy declared.
“I’ve got one!” Sam told her with a smug grin. She watched as Kurt started to strip, wondering if she could get Jack to re-enact the routine in the privacy of their bedroom. She laughed to herself as she thought of what his reaction to that would be.
Concentrating on the gorgeous man on the stage, Sam joined her friends in whistling and cheering, laughing as Janet called out, telling the guy to get it all off already. Having already removed his jacket, tie and shirt, Kurt complied, removing the final piece of clothing. He ran his hands up his legs and, grasping the material of his pants, ripped them off.
“I’ve gotta get Jack a pair of those!” Sam laughed, clapping along with the others.
Once all clothing was removed, Kurt also left the stage and started dancing among the patrons. He thanked Sam as she put a dollar bill in his thong, quickly congratulating her on her upcoming nuptials before he went over and started dancing in front of Janet. The good doctor enjoyed the experience immensely, grabbing Sam’s wad of bills so she could reward the man.
The show continued for another hour, during which time more gorgeous men stripped and the cute waiter ensured that Sam was never without a drink. By the time the final routine began, Sam had lost count of the number of drinks she’d had. She cheered as all of the men came onto the stage and began their routine. The women went crazy at the sight of all seven men stripping together.
Once the show had finished, and Sam had received a kiss from almost every male in the place, the SGC party headed out onto the street. “Where now?” Sam asked, enjoying herself immensely.
Jocelyn smiled in apology. “Well, Sam. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m going to have to go home to bed.”
Sam smiled, moving to hug her friend. “That’s fine, Joc, I understand. Thanks for everything. I had a great night.”
Jocelyn said her goodbyes and headed off to her car. The group waited until she was safely inside before they headed down the street to a bar.
*****
It was after three when Sam and Janet stumbled through Janet’s front door. “Oh God, I’m drunk,” Sam said as she slumped on Janet’s couch. “Where do you think Jack is?”
“Probably sprawled out somewhere feeling about as drunk as you by now,” Janet replied as she sat down next her friend. She was feeling pretty intoxicated too, but not as bad as Sam.
Sam pouted. “I hope not, I wanna have sex.”
Janet chuckled at her friend. “Well, I think you should stay here tonight.”
Sam shook her head. “Nope. I’m gonna go home and have sex with my fiancé, whether he likes it or not.”
After assuring Janet that she could make it home safely, Sam called a cab. It arrived shortly after and she jumped in, telling the driver where she wanted to go.
“Had a big night huh?” the driver asked as they drove off.
“Yep. It was my bachelorette party,” Sam replied as she closed her eyes.
“Congratulations. When’s the big day?”
“Next Saturday.” She felt him pull up at the lights and opened her eyes, glancing out the window. There, handcuffed to a lamp post was Jack O’Neill, dressed only in his boxers. “Oh my god! That’s my fiancé!” She jumped out of the car and the driver pulled up around the corner, getting out to help her.
COMING SOON- Songbook Series 13: Boys Will Be Boys
Story Notes: Songbook Series 12: AUTHOR: Jez- jez80@ozemail.com.au
SPOILERS: none
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack and Heliopolis please.
AUTHORS NOTES: A huge thanks to my two beta gal's, Kes and Jenn!
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
SPOILERS: none
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack and Heliopolis please.
AUTHORS NOTES: A huge thanks to my two beta gal's, Kes and Jenn!
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated and cherished.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]