O'Neill squinted through the monocular, surveying the area surrounding his and Tyler's bunker. No visible signs of any human habitation-or his team or anyone else from the SGC-just this shelled out building that was their only shelter. Shit...where were they? Taking a deep breath, Jack turned back to Tyler. "All right, listen up. We've got a couple of MRE's left, but we're running low on water. I'm going to check the area."
Jack looked at the weapon in his hand and not quite understanding his unease, handed it to Tyler. "Take the P-90." The young lieutenant took the weapon, his whole demeanor becoming even more apprehensive, if that was possible.
"Wouldn't it be safer to just wait? Major Carter and the others should be coming soon."
Jack's gut tightened and he felt a surge of nausea at Tyler's innocent question. "Well, the truth is, they should have been here by now. Something must've happened." Only years of experience at ruthlessly pushing down his emotions enabled O'Neill to quell the nausea and respond at all to Tyler's comment.
"Are you saying they're not coming for us?"
The kid had a valid question and O'Neill couldn't help but hear the fear and uncertainty in his voice. "Nope, I'm just saying it may take a little longer than we thought." He hoped his words would reassure the young man, 'cause they sure weren't doing much for him. What the hell had happened to his team?
"What if they never make it back?"
Tyler sounded even more tense now, his eyes and voice fearful. Jack felt the fear he'd been trying to keep at bay roar into full life. It was the same question that had been haunting him ever since Carter and her 'friends' had failed to return in what he considered a reasonable time. He deliberately ignored the little voice inside him that kept running the worst case scenario-that Carter, Daniel and Teal'c hadn't made it back to the SGC. The gate had been under fire, Teal'c had been injured...he had to consider the possibility that they were either captured or dead. He tried desperately to reassure Tyler-and himself.
"Then General Hammond will send someone else."
"How do you know?"
Jack looked incredulously at the young man; his distress supplanted somewhat by his surprise at Tyler's question. "Because, Lieutenant, we don't leave our people behind. You should know that!" Jack knew his tone was sharp, but he needed to nip Tyler's fear in the bud.
"Yes, sir," Tyler murmured.
"Good." O'Neill doubted the younger man was fully convinced, but at least he seemed satisfied. Jack tossed Tyler the radio-and watched as it fell through his hand. "Stay off the radio. Keep the channel open. I'll give you three clicks when I'm on the way back." He looked pointedly at the gun in Tyler's hands. "So don't shoot me."
"I won't," Tyler quickly replied, so earnest and trusting. Jack knew he had to get them back home-somehow. Jack nodded at Tyler and then crept around the outside wall of the ruins, his eyes continually scanning for any potential danger as he made his way to the relative safety and concealment of the woods.
Jack had already decided to head northeast, away from the gate. He didn't really want to run into any Jaffa, he just wanted to find water. What the hell could be going on, he wondered? There was only one reason he could come up with for the delayed response from the SGC. His team hadn't made it back and Hammond was waiting the usual twenty-four hours before sending a search and rescue team. Over the years Jack's defense mechanisms had become so well honed that he automatically ignored any thoughts about the possible fate of his teams. It had enabled him to carry out the mission regardless of the circumstances. But, something was different this time-he didn't know what had happened to Carter...Sam. While he was concerned about Daniel and Teal'c, he was sick with worry about Carter. He knew he could handle anything if he knew she was safe...it was the not knowing and unexplained waiting that was wearing him down. God, he tried so hard to keep his feelings for her locked away and most of the time he was successful. Yeah, because you always know where she is and what she's doing-and even more so since the events on Velona. It had always been enough before, to be included peripherally in her life and her work. The thought of Sam being removed from his life-permanently-was something he'd had to deal with once before and now, well, now he refused to acknowledge the terror he felt or even consider what would happen to him if she wasn't in his life.
Jack slowed his pace; his senses attuned to the environment around him, he thought he heard the faint sounds of running water. Noting his location and checking the compass, he veered slightly more north. The sound of running water grew more distinct from the rest of the forest sounds as he walked and Jack knew he had to be close to a stream. Jack had just had just caught sight of what appeared to be a riverbank when his sensitive ears detected a foreign sound-which he quickly identified as the motor of a UAV. He felt relief flood through him, Hammond was trying to find him and Tyler. His radio suddenly crackled to life.
"...please respond. SG-Niner, this is Stargate Command, please respond."
Jack stopped, keying the radio. "We're still here, over." He didn't bother to hide the annoyance that clearly sounded in his voice.
"This is General Hammond. What's you situation?" Jack's heart sank; Hammond didn't know his situation? Shit, his worst fears for his team seemed to be correct. He looked up as the UAV appeared overhead.
"We could use some back up, sir. Tyler's immobile and there are Jaffa all over the damn place."
O'Neill's radio crackled, the signal breaking up as the UAV disappeared from view. Son of a bitch! He frantically keyed the radio-no response. He didn't know anymore now than he had earlier-except that Hammond now knew his and Tyler's situation. The big question still remained-what would Hammond do now? And, Jack's own personal question concerning the status of his team...and Sam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O'Neill took a swallow of the water, not the worst he'd ever had and under other circumstances he might have enjoyed it, but not here and not now.
"When do you think we'll get out of here, sir?"
Jack looked at Tyler, the kid's whole posture just begging for reassurance he wasn't sure he could provide. "Well, if not until tomorrow, we'll head up into the hills and wait until the Jaffa lose interest."
"They'll never stop hunting us."
Jack felt a frisson of unease and curiosity at Tyler's matter of fact pronouncement. He sounded so confident. "What makes you say that?"
Tyler looked unsure for a moment, then stammered, "Isn't...that they way they are?"
"That may be the way they are. But we're the way we are. So...there you are." Brilliant, O'Neill, he thought wryly, always quick on the draw. "Get some sleep..." he finally told Tyler, biting back a tired groan as he got to his feet, intent on walking the perimeter of their meager camp one more time.
As O'Neill walked, surveying the now familiar landscape, he had to acknowledge he was becoming less and less optimistic regarding his and Tyler's chances of ever returning to Earth. Not that he would tell the boy that-yet. The longer they remained in hiding in their current location, the greater their chances of discovery by the Jaffa. Of course, that is if they were still searching for him and Tyler. In spite of Tyler's assertion, O'Neill couldn't imagine why the Jaffa would waste time and resources to track down two lowly Tau'ri. In a normal situation, their chances of being found by an SGC rescue team would be greater if they stayed in one location.... Hell, he could spend all night chasing his tale and trying to outguess himself. Any way he tried to play it, Tyler's was in no condition to travel far yet and their chances of being found by either the good guys or the bad guys increased the longer they stayed stationary.
Jack paused at the tree line, looking back towards the stone ruins that sheltered them, and his senses alert for any changes in the ambient night noises. Putting himself on automatic surveillance mode, he walked the southern line of the perimeter, letting his mind drift to his missing team. Just like probing at a sore tooth to see if it still hurt, Jack couldn't keep his thoughts away from the various scenarios his vivid imagination conjured up effortlessly. Dead...missing...missing and presumed captured...and all the varying possibilities that involved. However, the presence or lack of SG-1 shouldn't affect Hammond's decision to send a rescue team. Hammond's apparent reluctance-evidenced by the non-appearance of any rescue effort almost twelve hours after the UAV contact-was the one part of the equation Jack couldn't figure out. Unless, the SGC had somehow been compromised. And if that were the case, he and Tyler were definitely on their own. Jack reluctantly arrived at the conclusion that they would need to take the action he had mentioned earlier to Tyler, head deeper into the woods and try to avoid the Jaffa. The benefit/outcome ratio of staying in their current location seemed to be decreasing. One way or another, they needed to buy more time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So this was it, Jack thought numbly, even as his mind automatically calculated the chances of him tackling the Jaffa before he could fire his staff weapon. Jack mentally apologized to Tyler for failing to rescue him and allowed himself to think of Sam...and everything he wished he could have told her as he waited for the blast of the staff weapon.... He heard the blast and for a split second wondered why he didn't feel any pain before he realized he could heard more weapon fire-P-90's this time-and he automatically ducked, realizing in vague shock that the Jaffa in front of him had fallen to the ground, dead.
Jack heard footsteps running up behind him and then a voice he'd thought he would never hear again. "I think we're all clear." Sam was all business as she handed him a clip. "You all right, sir?"
"Fine," he nodded, finally finding his voice. Thank god! She was alive! They were all alive-at least for the moment. He was so relieved to be alive and have his team back with him it took him a moment to realize they still had their weapons drawn.
"Teal'c!"
The Jaffa had his staff weapon pointed directly at Tyler. "Lieutenant Tyler is not who he appears to be."
"I know, he told me." Jack glanced at his team members and Tyler. "Let's go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack lay on his back, staring at the ceiling above his current location on a bed in the infirmary. They really needed to get something more interesting to look at up there, he decided. He glanced at his watch; he'd been lying here for thirty minutes after over three hours of Fraiser's poking, prodding and various other testing. Hell, all he wanted to do now was go home...but according to the last message delivered to him from Hammond, he was expected to report for debriefing in twenty minutes, if Fraiser ever released him. Jack rubbed his chin, he needed to shave. He also wanted a long, hot soak in the tub. But hell, he figured he was looking forward to at least two or three more hours before he'd be allowed off base.
Ten more long minutes passed before Fraiser finally sent a nurse to release him-so Jack headed straight to the briefing room. Carter, Daniel and Teal'c were already there, all three looking remarkably fresh and clean, he noted sourly. Jack plopped down in an empty chair next to Daniel.
"It is good to have you back, O'Neill."
"Yeah, great to be back," Jack grumbled. "It was so nice of you guys to, you know," he gestured towards the windows that looked over the gateroom, "to finally come and get me and all." He saw Carter frown and look down at her hands. Teal'c said nothing and Daniel finally broke the awkward silence.
"Ah...we came back as soon as we could, Jack."
"Yeah, well you were almost too damn late! Tyler and I were almost toast!"
"There is no Lieutenant Tyler," Teal'c interrupted.
O'Neill scowled, not in any mood to be reasonable, so he turned on the one person he could. "Carter, why the hell didn't you follow my order?"
Her head shot up and she looked confused and then guilty at his accusation. "Sir...?"
"I gave you a simple order that should have been easy enough to comply with." Jack cocked his head and watched her cheeks stain with color. "That is unless you're still questioning orders?" Jack saw the flash of hurt in her eyes before she disguised it, pushing down the small voice that told him more had been going on that he was currently aware.
"Jack, that's unfair," Daniel interjected. Ever ready to jump to the defense of any one he opposed, Jack noted dourly.
"We were also affected by the chemical Tyler secreted, O'Neill."
"I don't give a rat's ass!" Jack snarled. "An order is an order." God, he knew was being an asshole, but the relief he'd felt at finding out Carter was alive had slowly turned into anger that she had such power over him, so he lashed out.
"Oh, like you're so great at following orders, Jack."
O'Neill shot a glare at Daniel. "This isn't about me, Daniel. This is about Carter and her recent propensity for doing her own thing."
"With all due respect, sir, I was following orders," Carter offered faintly, only to be drowned out by Daniel's loud protest.
"Jack, don't be such an ass! You have no idea what was going on back here!"
Before he could attack again, the door to Hammond's office slammed. "All right, people," Hammond interrupted, his expression stern. "Let's get down to business. I'll try to make this brief."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All right, already! I'm coming!" Jack yelled irritably, flinging open his front door. Carter? What the hell...? He stood then, momentarily speechless at the sight of his major standing on his doorstep.
"May I come in?" Her voice was cool and controlled, her eyes icy.
"Ah...sure," Jack muttered, standing back and allowing Sam to enter his house. He closed the door and then paused for a moment, his thoughts racing. In the intervening hours since the debriefing on base, Jack had calmed down some. Actually, since he'd learned the true situation at the SGC, he'd been forced to revise his initial opinion. Though the sight of Sam standing so casually in his living room when he'd thought her lost to him caused a fresh resurgence of anger at himself-and her-for the vulnerability and loss of control he'd felt when forced to face his feelings for her.
Sam dropped her purse on a chair and turned to face him. "You owe me an apology."
"How do you figure that, Carter?" Jack attacked, determined to keep the upper hand with her and the only way he could envision that was to maintain his anger. If he couldn't stay mad at her, he was afraid he'd do something they'd both end up regretting.
"God! You just won't give an inch!" she cried, frustration filling her voice.
"Last I looked it still said 'Colonel' on my uniform. I don't have to apologize!"
He watched, as she suddenly seemed to deflate, her shoulders slumping and facing falling. She put a hand to her forehead, sitting down on the edge of the closet chair. Her voice was weary and full of pain when she asked, "Don't you know by now that I'll always come back for you?"
"I thought you were dead."
"What?" Her head shot up, her eyes full of confusion.
That certainly got her attention, he noted. Leaving the foyer, he sat down on the sofa, opposite her chair. She looked at him warily, her eyes shadowed with pain and the just the slightest bit of curiosity.
"I thought you were dead, when you didn't return right away. The only logical reason I could think of was that you-and Daniel and Teal'c-were either dead or captured."
"Oh, Colonel...I had no idea!" She studied him for a long moment and then her eyes suddenly narrowed. "That still doesn't explain your earlier hostility." She gestured towards him with her hands. "I know things have been rough lately."
Jack snorted, hell, that was an understatement. "And whose fault is that?"
He could see her bristle as she retorted, "I'm not the only one who is having 'problems' handling things between us!"
"Things between us?" he goaded her. "Would these happen to be the 'things between us' you don't want to discuss?"
"The things I don't want to discuss?" Her eyes flashed, "Oh, you're a fine one to be talking Jack-I-never-show-my-feelings-O'Neill!"
"Oh, is that right Major-dazzle-them-with-science-so-I-don't-have-to-confront-my-feelings-Carter?" he retorted sharply, not sure why he felt compelled to antagonize her, except that he seemed to have the driving need to have her admit she'd been as devastated by her delay in rescuing him as he'd been by the uncertainty regarding her status.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that you were the one who didn't want to talk-leave it in the room-you remember, don't you?" he added snidely.
"You agreed," she countered hotly.
"What the hell else could I do? We weren't exactly in a situation where we could go and have a nice heart-to-heart about our 'feelings'."
"So, what's stopping you now?" Sam challenged. She gestured about the room; "This looks like as good a place as any for a 'heart-to-heart'."
Too late he heard the warning-'Danger, Jack O'Neill! Danger, Jack O'Neill!'. He'd walked right into this one, he ruefully acknowledged. And maybe this was the right time and place. The last year had been hell, walking the fine line between feeling and not feeling with Sam. And his reaction and subsequent over-reaction with the current situation was something he could no longer ignore.
"All right, let's talk," he agreed, noting with some satisfaction the surprised look on Sam's face. There were so few times when he actually could do that, he thought grimly.
"Okay," she cautiously replied.
Jack could tell she was over-thinking already, so he took the offensive. "What made you assume I wouldn't want to talk about what we feel for each other?"
Score another for Team O'Neill as her baby blues widened once more and she stammered, "Because...it's what I thought you wanted." Her eyes narrowed and he could tell she was regaining her bearings. "And like you said, it wasn't exactly the time or place. We'd already admitted too much in front of witnesses."
Rack up one for team Carter, he mentally acknowledged. She was right. "Good point, Carter." He eyed her speculatively and decided to push her a bit more, feeling optimistic at her 'witnesses' comment-what would she do when there were no witnesses? "What I really don't understand is why you never brought it up again."
She frowned. He continued, "You had to know that all it would take was one word or sign from you." Come on, Sam, he pleaded with his eyes as the silence stretched on, give me some kind of break here.
"I know that, sir," she finally murmured, looking away from him.
"Jack," he prompted. And then held his breath, knowing her next move would determine how the rest of the evening-and possibly his life-went.
"Jack..." she whispered softly. Tally up one for more O'Neill, he exulted silently.
Going for broke, Jack decided to pull his goalie. "The only thing I could think that would have prevented you-and Daniel and Teal'c-from returning for me and Tyler was that you were dead or captured." He shuddered abruptly; unable to hide the fear he'd felt. "And god, Sam, I haven't felt that empty inside, well, since Charlie...." He stopped, unable to finish, but tried desperately to communicate the depth of pain and loss he'd felt with his eyes. Jack watched in shock, and then growing relief, as Sam's eyes filled with tears and she swiftly rose, crossing the few steps to where he sat and kneeling at his feet, taking hold of his hands.
"Oh, Jack!" she practically sobbed. "When Hammond wouldn't let us return right away for you and Tyler I wanted...." She smiled shakily. "Well, let's just say I've never wanted to hold a superior officer at gunpoint-before that moment." Jack smiled at her, encouraging her to continue. Sam took a shuddering breath before continuing. "And then with every hour that passed I knew your chances of being able to evade the Jaffa and bring Tyler home were diminishing. If Hammond hadn't separated the three of us and kept us under guard, there's no telling what we might have tried." She released one of his hands and cupped his cheek; "I don't know what I would have done if Janet hadn't figured out what was going on." He had to strain to hear her as her voiced dropped to a whisper. "I can't imagine my life without you."
Jack searched her glistening blue eyes and saw nothing but love shining out of them, even though she had yet to admit to anything concrete regarding her feelings for him. Turning his face into her caress, he copied her touch, cupping her cheek with his hand. Going for the hat trick, he murmured huskily, "I love you, Sam. And I can't imagine my life without you in it, either."
It was as if his confession of love was all that was needed as her face broke into a beatific smile and she flung her arms around his neck. Spreading his knees, Jack pulled her between his legs, holding her close as she pressed soft, frantic kisses to his face and throat all the while whispering, "I love you! I love you!"
Crushing her to his chest, he reveled in the feel of her in his arms. Twenty-four hours ago he had been sure she was dead. Twelve hours ago he had known she was live. And now-well; now he knew she loved him. Jack slowly opened his eyes as he realized she wasn't kissing him anymore. He loosed his tight hold and let her pull away from him slightly.
"So..." she murmured her luminous blue eyes serious. "What do we do now?"
Confessing her love was one thing, actually acting on it was another, Jack had to reluctantly acknowledge the validity of her question. He spoke slowly and tentatively, his eyes glued to hers. "What we do when there are no witnesses..."
"...is no one's business but our own?" she finished for him, her eyes bright with love.
He smiled with relief. "Right, no one's business but our own." He scooted forward slightly on the sofa then, once more pulling her back into his arms. He slid one hand down to the small of her back, holding her firmly against his hard body. Sam raised her beaming face to his and cradling the back of her head with his other hand, Jack brought his eager mouth to hers.
Holy buckets...he was in heaven at the first intoxicating touch of her lips against his. He felt her hands slide up his arms to clutch at his shoulders and was lost when she whimpered into his mouth. Sliding his tongue between her lips, she allowed him entrance and heated moments followed as Jack devoured her sweet mouth. He stroked and teased her tongue with his, seeking out all the honeyed sweetness to be found. Sam whimpered again, shifting restlessly and he groaned as she pulled her mouth away. "What is it, baby?" he questioned softly, nuzzling her neck.
She blushed and muttered, "My knees...." Shit! He'd forgotten she'd been kneeling on the hardwood floor of his living room for heaven knows how long, as he'd lost complete track of time at the first soft touch of her hands.
"Sam, baby, I'm sorry," he groaned; rising to his feet and pulling her up with him. He steadied her, placing an arm around her slender waist. She smiled almost shyly at him as she flexed her knees a bit, her firm flesh rubbing tantalizingly against him.
It had already been late when Sam had arrived at his house, and he knew if she stayed any longer, it would be morning before she left. And even though she'd confessed her love for him, whether they went any further in their physical relationship was going to be entirely her decision. He turned, so he faced her, sliding his hands up to cup her shoulders. "Sam," he searched her face, his brown eyes serious. "God knows, I want you to stay. But if you don't want to, I'll understand," he finished in a rush.
Her lips slowly curved into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on her face "I want to stay, Jack."
Jack's heart practically exploded out of his chest, he felt almost dizzy with relief and gratitude as he reverently kissed her, whispering, "So...there you are."
THE END
scorkill@earthlink.net
Story Notes: Email: scorkill@earthlink.net
Content Warning: M/F
Season/Sequel info: Fifth
Spoilers: The Fifth Man, Divide and Conquer, Ascension
Archive: Heliopolis, SJRA
Feedback: Cheerfully accepted.
Author's notes: 'The Fifth Man' has become one of my favorite eps and while watching it during one of Showtime's innumerable 'encore' performances, I found myself wondering what was running through Jack's mind when "Major Carter and a whole lot of her friends" failed to materialize.
Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, March 2002.
Content Warning: M/F
Season/Sequel info: Fifth
Spoilers: The Fifth Man, Divide and Conquer, Ascension
Archive: Heliopolis, SJRA
Feedback: Cheerfully accepted.
Author's notes: 'The Fifth Man' has become one of my favorite eps and while watching it during one of Showtime's innumerable 'encore' performances, I found myself wondering what was running through Jack's mind when "Major Carter and a whole lot of her friends" failed to materialize.
Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, March 2002.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]