"Jack O'Neill is a bastard....owww!"
Isn't this where I started?
"Hold still," Janet warns me as she puts another stitch in my hand. I bite my lip and I watch her do it. The wound isn't serious, just a deep scratch from where I caught myself on a piece of metal. At the time I hardly noticed, I was too interested in the alien technology we found. It was only when Ferretti pointed out that I had blood streaming down onto my pants, I realised what had happened. We tried to clean it up, but it was obvious that I was going to need stitches....so we had to come back....all because I hadn't been paying enough attention.
"All done," she says, placing some strips of bandage over the wound.
"Janet?"
"Yes?"
"What the hell am I going to do?"
I don't think she has much sympathy for me and I can't really blame her. No one here does. Let's face it, I was the one who screwed everything up. Jack won't even try to talk....I think I preferred it when he was insulting me. At least he was taking some kind of notice. I miss him more than I would have thought possible....and the rest of SG1. It's not that they go out of their way to avoid me. We're always perfectly professional, but the camaraderie has gone.
"Are you coming to O'Malley's tonight?" she asks.
"No, better not," I reply.
Janet just shrugs her shoulders, not even making an attempt to talk me into going out. Maybe I should ....but then Jack would probably walk out. Let's face facts, there were his friends when we started this and he got to keep them at the finish. Nope, it's an evening in with the cat and a bottle of wine...oh joy!
"Sam...," Janet begins.
"Yes?"
"You can't go on like this....you do realise that, don't you? If that scratch is anything to go by, your argument with Jack is affecting your work."
"I.....I really liked him, Janet."
"I know. We all do. Which is why you have to get your life back in order. Look, what do you say we have a girl's night out...say Friday?"
I know she'll lecture me, but I don't care. I'm at the point where I'm craving human contact.
"That'd be fun...thanks."
Martouf paid us a visit a couple of weeks back....and it's the closest Jack's been to me since we split. The second Martouf walked down the ramp, Jack was right there behind me, like some guard dog. I thought maybe it was a sign he was weakening. No such luck....he still closed me out. He doesn't want me, but it looks like he's not going to let anyone else close. I only had the chance to speak to Martouf briefly... luckily Daniel interrupted us before matters got out of hand.
I don't think Dad's very impressed with me either. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I got the feeling he liked Jack....about the only guy I've ever dated that my father has actually approved of.
The stuff I left behind at Jack's house has been duly returned. Turned up on my doorstep, no note, nothing. He didn't even ring the bell. I'd like to return all the things he gave me....but I can't. I cling to them, because they're the only part of him I have left. It's not even the sex I miss. I can live with out the intimacy....I want his friendship back.
Speak of the devil. The object of my ruminations walks into the infirmary. SG1 must have just got back from their latest mission. Jack stares at me. For a second I see the mask slip, but he soon tears himself away and resumes his front of indifference. I guess he wasn't expecting to see me here....SG2 were supposed to be off-world for another two days. General Hammond has arranged the rota to make sure our respective teams are rarely on base together for extended periods of time.
"Something I can do for you, Colonel?" Janet asks.
"Charlie's on his way down here. Took a blow to the head. He says he's OK, but I'm not too sure. Do me a favour and make sure he gets some rest," he replies.
"Will do. I'll tie him to the bed if necessary."
"Why Doc if I'd have known you were in to that kind of stuff...."
He lets the sentence trail off suggestively and Janet giggles. Damn Jack, he's flirting with her on purpose. I don't let my face betray any emotion as I bid Janet farewell and make my way out of the infirmary. I try to hide out in my lab. ,but for some reason General Hammond comes down to find me. That's unusual...he'd normally summon me to his office.
"I heard you were injured?" he begins.
"Yes, sir," I reply, slightly confused.
He takes a long look at my hand before continuing,
"Major Kowalski has been restricted to the infirmary for the next three days. It seems his concussion was fairly serious."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Give him my best."
"I will, Major. SG1 is due out again tomorrow and I would like you to take his place."
"What? I mean why....sir?"
"There needs to be a second USAF officer to be present in case they run into hostiles. Since SG2 returned early you are available."
"But sir...I don't think I'm the best person....What about Ferretti?"
"Is there some personal reason why you can't obey my order?"
"No sir."
"Then report to the Gateroom at 0800."
"Yes, sir."
What's Hammond trying to do to me? Unless he thinks that, by forcing Jack and I to work together, we'll somehow mend our differences. It's unlikely. Jack O'Neill is the most pig head, stubborn, difficult man I've ever met....especially when someone's betrayed him. But the General has given me an order and as such I have to follow it.....even if I'd rather shoot myself in the head.
I think I'll stay here tonight. It'll be safer. If I leave the base I'll be tempted to go AWOL. There's plenty of stuff for me to work on and it might take my mind off Jack. With any luck he'll object so violently to my assignment that the General will relent and let me stay. If we're going into a potentially hostile situation we need to be able to work together and I don't think we can do that at the moment.
***************************************************************************
This is all my fault.
I must have screwed up the calculations somehow...entered the wrong figures into the computer....
I don't know how we managed to get stuck in 1969 but it's my job to get us all home again. Why the hell couldn't have General Hammond have been more explicit in his note? A couple of dates isn't going to get us very far even if we do manage to find the Stargate. At least I know why he was so insistent that I went with SG1. He couldn't afford to let anyone else go....even if Jack and I kill each other in the process.
Speaking of whom.....He's gone back to insulting me....which is great. Wonderful. I'm trying to tell him important stuff about changing the timeline and he's using it as an excuse to make me look stupid. Way to be professional Jack. Then again.....if we alter history, maybe he won't exist and that would solve so many of my problems.
We've been on the road for a couple of days now. The bus isn't big enough to sleep all of us, so we've been camping outside, round the fire....just as if we were off-world. Ironically, I guess this is the farthest from home we're ever going to get.
As might be expected, I can't sleep. I'm lying there with my eyes shut, running calculations through my head...still unable to find anything wrong My concentration is so complete that I barely feel someone place a second blanket over me and tuck it around my body. I lay absolutely still, scared to open my eyes and break the spell. The next thing I feel is a hand brushing hair off my forehead. It's Jack. Even if I didn't recognise his touch, I can smell the leather of his jacket. Trust him to pick that particular outfit...although I must admit he looks pretty hot in it.
"Jack?" Daniel's quiet voice interrupts the moment.
"What?" Jack whispers back.
"I was going to ask you the same question."
"She looked cold."
He's acting like it's something he'd do for Daniel or Teal'c. I hear him move away, but he and Daniel continue their conversation in low tones,
"Would it help if I told you something?"
"Probably not."
"You know when Martouf last paid us a visit."
"Yeah."
"I walked in on the two of them."
"Don't want to hear this, Daniel."
"Believe me, you do."
I tense under my blankets, wondering what exactly Daniel is going to say. He only came in a the tail end of our 'conversation', he could easily have got the wrong impression.
"I don't think she likes him all that much."
"Really."
His voice is flat and expressionless, he doesn't believe Daniel....and why should he?
"Well, not Martouf per se, but Lantash. She really wasn't happy with some of the things he said," Daniel goes on
"My heart bleeds."
"He tried to apologise for Lantash, and said that he was really growing quite fond of her."
"You told me I was going to like this."
"Trust me.....Sam went into this big thing about the fact that she wasn't Jolinar and they couldn't just pick up where he and Rosha left off. She was very vocal."
How long was Daniel standing outside of the door? I never realised he had heard that much. Although I admit that I was so upset half the base could have been listening in and I wouldn't have cared. If Martouf had waited a little longer to express his affection, maybe I would have been more receptive, but....
"Then Martouf mentioned you, in a not too flattering light I might add, and..."
"And?"
"Sam must have hit him."
"Really?"
Jack chuckles to himself, no doubt pleased by the image Daniel has presented. At the time I was mortified by what I'd done. I don't usually react that way. Janet was right when she said my break up with Jack was affecting my work. Let's face facts, I could have started an intergalactic incident.
"She was just apologising to him when I walked in," Daniel continues. "There was a red mark on his face. I think she hit him pretty hard."
"Good for her...little creep deserved it."
"So I think you can forget Sam getting together with Martouf any time soon."
"Why should that matter to me?"
"Jack....anyone with half a brain can tell that you're in love with Sam. Don't do this to yourself."
"Even if I wanted to....Sam.....I don't know if I can trust her again."
I guess that's the real problem. Jack sees life very much in black and white. He can't ever comprehend a situation where I......I did what I did . There was a reason why it happened and that's what everyone seems to forget. I blame Jolinar for a lot of things, but in this case....I don't know. I shift onto my back trying to find a more comfortable position and my movement stops any further conversation. A pity, I would have loved to hear what other nuggets of wisdom Daniel was going to offer. Not that I think it would have done any good, but it was sweet of him to try.
Usually, I don't have any difficulty sleeping outside. Sometimes beds are more of a problem. In the end, I just decide to get up and go for a walk. No one else seems to be awake. Jack didn't think it was necessary to stand a watch....after all we're probably pretty safe here. I move as quietly as I can, away from the bus and into the woods. There has to be a way back. General Hammond must have thought that note would mean something to me. If I wasn't so preoccupied with Jack, maybe I would have got it by now. He's right about one thing though, we'll need the Stargate, so at least we're heading in the right direction.
Another day on that damn bus...this time Daniel's driving, which frankly scares me. He tends to get easily distracted. Jack spends the time stretched out on one of the seats, seemingly immune to his colleague's erratic driving. If he had a major change of heart last night, he's not giving any sign. That is until we camp for the night. We're all sitting by the fire. I'm not really paying much attention....still trying to figure out a way home. Someone pushes a mug into my hand and it takes me several seconds to realise that it's Jack....and he's sitting next to me. His denim covered leg is brushing against mine, distracting me for a second. I really, really have to concentrate on the fire to stop myself reacting. We're burning alot of pine wood so the flames are spitting and flaring....flaring...flare!
"Flare!" I say out loud.
"What?" Jack asks.
"It's the only explanation. We had to have been sent back because of a solar flare."
"Was it not an error in your calculations?" Teal'c inquires.
"I don't think so, Teal'c. After the Abydos mission, when we couldn't figure out a way to make the gate work again, I was asked to research alternative applications for the gate including time travel."
"What'd you come up with?" Jack questions.
"Just this."
I pick up a stick and start to draw in the dirt. Jack looks over my shoulder, interested for once.
"What if a massive solar flare just happened to occur at the exact moment we were travelling between Earth and another Stargate? If the wormhole moved closer to the sun because of the flare's magnetic field the increased gravity could slingshot us back to Earth," I explain.
"Why haven't we tried this before?" Daniel asks.
"Because flares are impossible to predict. Light takes several minutes to travel between Earth and the sun, so by the time a flare of sufficient magnitude has been confirmed it's already too late."
"If they're impossible to predict, how do we get ourselves home?"
"August 10th 9.15 Am. It's in the note."
"That's the time and day of the next flare?" Jack adds.
"Yeah. General Hammond must have used my own research to figure out what we needed."
"Or maybe that's why he asked you to do the Research in the first place. "
"And then he looked up two flares in August of 1969 that could send us home."
"General Hammond you old son of a.....So Carter, do you think you could get us back by Friday?"
"Why's that?"
"Date night."
"Really?"
I can't help sounding a little coy. Thank you, Daniel! I wonder where he's going to take me?
"Yeah, Janet's set me up with a friend of hers. I'd hate to miss it," Jack finishes.
My heart gives an unsteady thump. Jack's going to see someone else....and he just couldn't resist twisting the knife, could he? Bastard.
"No, we wouldn't want you to miss that," I say, weakly.
I will not let him see how much he has just hurt me....I will not...
***************************************************************************
We got back by Friday.
I'm getting ready to go and meet Janet while Jack, no doubt is slavering with the anticipation at the thought of his date. I really hope it isn't anyone who works on the base, I don't think I could take that. Imagine if I saw them together...I don't know what I'd do. Well actually, to be honest, I'd probably just walk away. I have to stop thinking like this. I've lost Jack, that's all there is to it.
Janet's taking me to an expensive restaurant so we can drown our sorrows in good food and good wine. That in mind I dispense with my usual jeans and dig a dress out of my closet. A little black number...might as well be prepared, just in case we do happen to meet men. It's been a while since I've worn it, but it still fits me. I apply a little make-up and consider myself ready to meet the world. Jack O'Neill you don't know what you missed. I'm dressed to kill and I'm not that fussed as to who I take down with me.
The restaurant is on the opposite side of town, and I arrive a little early. I get shown to our table and sit and wait for Janet, browsing the menu. It really is an expensive place. I hope Janet was serious when she said she'd cover the bill. She's later than I expected her to be. I'm praying she hasn't got caught at the base, I hate having dinner alone. Feeling somewhat annoyed I find myself glancing over at the door for what seems like the hundredth time. Someone's just come in, but it isn't Janet. I hide my face in my menu. What the hell is he doing here? I can't believe fate would be so unkind as to have him bring his date here. This doesn't seem like his kind of place.
Come on Janet, don't let me have to face him alone. I wonder where his date is? There doesn't seem to be anyone else here on their own. Wait a second....there's a red head over by the window. That must be her. Good looking, super-model thin.....Damn. I'd like to hope that I was smarter, but if she's a friend of Janet's she probably has a brain. I resolutely turn away. Even if Janet doesn't turn up, I'm going to eat my dinner, and then leave. I'm going to be the one who acts like a civilised adult. I wonder what he'll think of this dress?
I go back to studying my menu. Janet's still going to pay me for this, so I'm going to find the most expensive dish on the menu....ugg...no way am I eating that....OK make that the second most expensive.
"Uh, hi...sorry I'm late," a voice speaks to me.
It isn't Janet. I drop the menu from my face and look at the man who's taken the seat opposite me. He's actually wearing a suit. Didn't know he owned anything other than the tie that goes with his dress uniform. And he's brushed his hair.
"What the...? Carter!" he begins.
"I think we've been set up," I finish for him.
Damn you for doing this to me Janet. Just when I thought I'd got over him, you force me into this situation. I don't know what to do. There's no way I can stay here. I'm not about to give her the satisfaction.
"I should have known," he says. "Look, this wasn't my fault."
"Really? But you were eager enough to take Janet up on her offer?"
"Yeah, I was...wonder why?"
Our voices are rising and people are starting to look at us. That must have been why Janet selected this place. She thought the surroundings might quell our aggressive tendencies. No way. No way am I going to sit here and listen to this. Jack can damn well eat dinner on his own, pick up someone in a bar....I don't really care. Pushing my chair back and I grab my coat and purse.
"Sam, wait a second," Jack says.
"This is a really bad idea," I tell him.
"Did Janet tell you this was on her?"
"Yes?"
What's he planning? Jack grins at me and waves the wine list in my face,
"For a start, they serve Dom Perignon....and I know how much you like good champagne."
He bought me a bottle once, on my birthday. We drank it in bed.
"Are you suggesting...." I start.
"That we give Janet a restaurant bill she's gong to remember for a long time."
His mood is infectious and I can't stop myself giggling a little. It would almost be worth it....just to see the look on Janet's face.
"So what do you say? Start off with a little smoked salmon, caviar...."
"Ick!"
"OK, no caviar.......You look great by the way."
Very slowly, I find myself sitting down. Jack calls the waiter over and orders a bottle of champagne. Considering the fact that Janet's paying...it tastes really, really good.
The End
Story Notes: Steps 05: AUTHOR: Ruth M. King ruth@snowqueen.demon.co.uk
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: 1969, Serpent's Song
SEQUEL: A sequel to First Steps, Step Two, Three Steps Forward, Four Steps Back
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: 1969, Serpent's Song
SEQUEL: A sequel to First Steps, Step Two, Three Steps Forward, Four Steps Back
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]