samandjack.net

Story Notes: Content Warnings: References to domestic violence but nothing too graphic, and use of relatively mild language

Season: 8/9

Spoilers: Episodes featuring Pete, including Affinity but not Threads

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Prince Not So Charming the Sequel

Author’s Note: Obviously this story continues the AU theme of the first and second parts. Thanks so much to all of you who sent such encouraging feedback. This continuation is probably very different to what many of you might have expected, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Once again, I owe Flatkatsi a huge amount of gratitude for beta reading this fic, correcting errors and providing her always useful and insightful thoughts on the plot and characterisations. I believe that this is a better, more enjoyable and plausible fic because of her hard work and incisive comments. Of course, any remaining mistakes or plot errors are entirely my own.


He watched, a little worried, as she let herself into the house. Pete's car was outside so they knew he was home. Jack understood her need to deal with this in her own way, but that didn't mean he had to like it. With no real idea of what might happen once she was inside, his mind ran riot with many scenarios of how this confrontation with her husband could go.

Already, Jack was feeling impatient and twiddled the dial on his radio to find some calming music to help him relax, cursing as he slid from station to station and got the kind of noise he didn't want to hear. Eventually he found one playing the sort of gentle and soothing classical music that was normally almost guaranteed to loosen him up. Nevertheless, his fingers anxiously drummed against his legs and moved on to take up their beat on the dash. He figured that even fishing wouldn't help him to relax in these circumstances.

Meanwhile, Sam found Pete sitting in their living room looking like crap and obviously very upset. He got up and moved towards her, hoping to find some forgiveness, but was not really surprised to see none. He understood very well that he'd really screwed up this time.

"Sam, thank god you're home. I'm so sorry baby…"

"Don't even think about touching me Pete," she warned and he stood still, staring at her.

"Honey, I've been so worried. Are you okay? How can I say sorry? How can I make it up to you baby? Christ, I don't know what came over me!"

"We need to talk," she answered coolly. "Shall I make us some coffee?"

"I'll make it."

Pete was clearly nervous and she figured that wasn't surprising given the events of the previous night, but he was way calmer than she had anticipated and Sam wondered what he'd been thinking over the last few hours. It was apparent that he'd hardly slept.

"It's okay, I’ll do it," she responded.

"Please, at least let me do that."

Sam thought that if making the coffee would somehow make him feel better she might as well let him, so she sat on the couch, waiting, while he pottered around in the kitchen, and considered what she was going to say, yet again, but when he returned, it was Pete who spoke.

"Sam I know what I did was unforgivable, and I hate the me who did that," he said, handing her a cup of coffee and perching uncomfortably in the chair opposite her holding his. "You provoked me, but there was no excuse. I don't know where we go from here, but I've been doing a lot of thinking."

"Me too," she said, placing her coffee on the table.

"I-I need to get some things off my chest."

"Me too. Are we going to be able to discuss this like the couple of adults we really are, Pete? I don't think I've got the energy for another argument. Last night was so… bitter. I don't want that."

"Neither do I. We can try to pretend to be grownups if you like."

"Okay," she agreed, pausing briefly to sip her coffee and consider her next words. While she spoke, Pete fiddled with his cup but didn't drink anything from it. "I've screwed up and I hate myself for doing that. Failure has always been so unacceptable to me. I never was the wife you really wanted and I know I've hurt you and I'm so sorry I've done that. You don't deserve it. We're falling apart here and it's my fault. Maybe I should never have married you. I wanted it, really I did, and I thought we could make it work, but…"

"We both failed, Sam. It's not all your fault," he interrupted, "I probably never should have asked you to marry me."

That took Sam by surprise and she simply looked at him mutely while pondering those words. Both of them placed their cups on the table and ignored them. Just as the coffee with Jack had been earlier, this had been an attempt to inject some ordinariness into their confrontation; mere props on the stage.

"You regret it?" she asked after a lengthy silence.

"I love you, baby, but I'm not sure that's enough. If you ever did love me I don't think you do anymore, and I'm not sure you ever really did, or not in the way that I wanted. I so wanted to believe that everything was perfect. There I was with this fantastic, beautiful, super intelligent woman who saved the universe for a living. Who wouldn't think they'd died and gone to heaven? But deep down I knew you had doubts and I should never have married you knowing that. It was just too good to be true."

"Oh!" His words flustered Sam because she hadn't expected him to be so reasonable after what had happened, and she certainly hadn't expected him to admit his liability so readily. "You really have been thinking about this, haven't you?"

"All night."

"Were we both expecting too much from each other?"

"I think we were both expecting it to be different. Maybe it isn't too much to want from a marriage for some folks, only for us."

Almost simultaneously they shifted awkwardly in their seats, feeling self-conscious, and to alleviate that, Sam picked up her coffee and took a sip before replying although, in truth, the last thing she needed or wanted right then was more caffeine.

"What did you expect, Pete?" she asked, curious as to his expectations for their marriage. They had never really discussed that before and the realisation surprised her.

"I guess that you would be superwoman by day and my wife by night. That I'd come home to the things that most men come home to; a smile, a kiss, food on the table, a well kept house and great sex. But instead you'd be off saving the planet as usual, or stuck into some science experiment."

"You knew what I was like."

"Maybe I thought it would be different after we got married. Is that such a stupid thing to think?"

"I don't know. I think I had an idealised image of what it would be like too. You were jealous of my job, the time I spent with my team, of General O'Neill. How could I be expected to handle that? I thought you knew what you were taking on."

"So did I, but I didn't." He rose from his chair and started to pace glancing over at Sam from time to time. "What you do, it's like something you see on TV. Science fiction. It wasn't real to me. It didn't take long for me to figure out exactly how real it actually was and I couldn't cope with that reality. You'd come home injured or stressed or not come home at all for days on end. That was hard for me to accept, Sam. I kind of liked the idea of my wife being a super hero but that idealised image you mentioned, it was never a good basis for a marriage."

"I never expected that you would want to take the blame for all of this. Christ, Pete, and I thought it was mostly down to me!"

It was at that moment that Pete glanced out of the window and saw Jack O'Neill sitting in his truck and the sight angered him. Jack saw him and, deciding to rile him further, smiled and waved. Maybe Pete would come out, attack him, and give him the chance he was waiting for. He lived in hope of that and was tempted to get out of the truck and lean nonchalantly against it so Pete got even madder, and then he remembered that Sam had made him promise to wait inside the truck. Damn!

That promise was hard to live up to but he was determined to keep it, for Sam's sake. He needed her to continue trusting him and, besides, this was her moment and she deserved that right. But it was driving him nuts to sit there without knowing what was going on inside the house. He wanted to do the right thing but wasn't sure what that was.

"You came here with Jack O'Neill?" Pete queried, using an angry tone for the first time. "You are unbelievable. You come here and expect an adult conversation and you come with him?" The word "him" was spat with venom. "Were you with him last night, for Christ's sake? I should have guessed that you'd go running into his arms at the first opportunity."

Sam's guilt embarrassed her and she got up, rapidly approaching Pete, who had turned away and was stomping furiously towards the door, clearly minded to confront the man he considered as his nemesis. She needed to stop that from happening at all costs. The idea that these two men might get into a fight appalled Sam and she worried about the consequences of that for all three of them.

"It isn't like that Pete, and it never was!" she cried, grasping his arm desperately, which had the desired effect of stopping his progress towards the door. He turned to face her.

"Maybe things would have worked out better for us if you hadn't been in love with your CO!" he retorted bitterly.

"You've got it all wrong, Pete," she said in a mollifying tone, still clinging to his arm, "Jack and I aren't lovers and we never were. I know you don't believe that but it's true. Why would I lie about it now?"

Pete's ire was apparent from his stance and tightly balled fists. He wanted to confront Jack O'Neill but had promised himself that he would try and listen to what Sam had to say. After beating her up the night before, his guilt and regret were overwhelming and she deserved a hearing, despite her provocation. He knew he was in the wrong and that nothing really justified his actions, but she was in the wrong too.

"I might be willing to believe that, but you are in love with him, aren't you?" he asked with a mixture of anger and sadness, and Sam couldn't bear to look him in the eye to refute that because it was true. "Can't deny that, can you?"

"No, no I can't and I'm sorry," she replied quietly. "You can't know how sorry. I never intended or wanted to hurt you so badly. Maybe the fact that I can't deny it will help you because you can hate me, and I couldn't blame you for feeling like that. I don't want you to hate me, Pete, that's why I'm here now, but maybe it's inevitable. I wish you'd believe me about Jack and I. He would never have an affair with me. He's way too honorable; a good man."

His fury was mixed with an overpowering grief and it wrenched Sam's heart to see those emotions so bared. She was still gripping his arm, and he wasn't struggling against her, but she could sense the tension in him, and the control he was exercising over his emotions. They were stood stock still, staring into each other's eyes, unable to tear away.

"Oh yeah, perfect I'll bet!" Pete snapped, his eyes filled with tears he battled to contain. "I'm not so sure that makes me feel any better." At last he managed to tear his gaze away, and release her hold on him, but he remained unmoving, staring at a spot on the carpet.

"I didn't mean… oh crap, this is going all wrong!" she acknowledged, almost frantically.

"Again!" he rejoined, raising his eyes to meet hers once more. "Maybe I ought to go out there and have a few words with this paragon." The words were harshly spoken and sarcastic.

"I never said he was a paragon," Sam said, trying to appease him. "Please don't go out there, Pete. I went to him last night as a friend, not a lover. Even if I had wanted that, he would never have agreed to it."

"You mean you didn't want it? Was it always him, Sam, and never me?"

"No! It wasn't like that, it really wasn't."

"Yeah, right!"

"I guess I can't blame you for not believing me but I really did love you Pete."

"Just not like him."

They faced off wordlessly for a while before Sam replied, not knowing quite what she could say because whatever she said now was never going to make things better.

"I've known Jack O'Neill for nine years," she responded eventually, and in a subdued tone, "and I respect and admire him, but he's my CO. Nothing was ever going to happen between us."

"Not because you didn't want it though, huh? Both of you."

Sam didn't reply because she didn't know what to say and Pete turned on his heel and stomped towards the front door.

"Pete!" she called, running after him.

When Jack saw the door open he got out of the truck, trying to remain calm for Sam's sake. She tried to stop her husband, grasping his arm again, but he shook her off. Jack eyed him warily as he approached and they faced each other, a few feet apart and unmoving, for the moment. Sam fervently hoped it would stay that way and the men wouldn't brawl right out there in the middle of the street.

"If you want a fight, Pete, then I'm willing," Jack said evenly, "But, frankly, I'd rather not do anything to upset Carter. And she made me promise."

"Promise?"

"Not to lay a hand on you unless it was in self-defence. I don't wanna hurt you because she doesn't want me to."

"Have you been carrying on with my wife?" Pete asked bluntly, in a vicious manner.

"No." The simple and softly spoken denial caught Pete flat-footed and he momentarily paused for thought.

"No?" he queried.

"I don't make a habit of having affairs with married women, or with my officers."

"Like to though, huh?"

Jack regarded him silently for a while considering his response.

"Actually, no. I'd like to marry her and ask her to have my babies, but she's already taken." Both Sam and Pete looked at him incredulously. "If you're spoiling for a fight, I'd rather it was with me than with her, but I'd prefer not to fight at all. Although I have to admit that the opportunity to rearrange your face has some appeal, so bring it on if that's what you want." The tone of his voice remained unruffled and Sam was amazed by that, wondering what turbulent thoughts and emotions were brewing inside.

"You have a damned nerve turning up here. Sam is still my wife."

"I know that only too well, and she didn't want me to come with her, but I insisted. I get kind of protective of my friends and as you beat the crap out of her last night I thought it might be wise to cover her ass. But I've got nothing to be ashamed of, and neither has she. Can you say the same?"

"What happens between us is none of your business!" Pete snapped back.

Although inside he felt the shame of his actions the previous night, Jack O'Neill was irking the hell out of him. He hated that the man was so calm when he was close to boiling over, and was trying to reign in his desire to take him down. To be honest, he wasn't sure he could defeat his enemy, but that alone wouldn't have stopped him from trying.

"None of my business?" Jack retorted. "You hit her, damn you! More than that, you knocked her senseless. No one does that to one of my team. Think you can take me? Try."

Pete was gratified that Jack appeared to be losing his cool at last and made a move towards him, but Sam intervened.

"Don't! Please don't," she begged, standing in front of her husband and grasping his shoulders. "This is our fight, Pete. If you want to hit someone then hit me because maybe I deserve it but, if you do, this time I'm not going to just stand here and take it. Think hard about that because, believe me when I tell you that I could take you down. It’s what I'm trained to do. Jack hasn't done anything but be a good friend. It's not him you're angry with."

"Carter!" Jack exclaimed, worried that Pete would take her at her word and hit her. Her husband's fists were balled angrily and he certainly looked pissed. Jack took a step forward and, although she wasn't looking at him, Sam seemed to sense it.

"Don’t. Please don't make this worse, sir," she pleaded, all the while keeping her eyes fixed on Pete's.

Pete eyeballed Sam back, shaking with ire, but she held his gaze and they remained unmoving for what seemed to Jack to be an eternity. Jack was ready, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet waiting for action, but he exercised remarkable restraint to keep his promise to Sam. Pete had neither hit her, nor attacked him, and he so wasn't going to be the one who threw the first punch.

Watching closely, Jack was surprised to see Pete's body sag slightly, the tension and anger replaced by deep distress. Sam saw it too and took advantage by pulling him into her arms, and the apparently tough cop suddenly became tearful, returning her hug. Sam winced as he squeezed her battered and bruised body, but said nothing, and continued to rock and sway him in her arms as her husband started to sob into her shoulder. Despite her internal promise not to cry again, Sam couldn't stop her own shuddering sobs.

"What have I done, Sam?" he asked plaintively. "What have I done? I'm so sorry."

Jack felt embarrassed to witness this moment that should have been intimate between the couple. Here they were out in the street in front of the house so that all their neighbours could witness it too, if they were so inclined. He figured more than a few curtains must have been twitching and these events would be the talk of the neighbourhood for a while to come.

"Me too," Sam agreed in a whisper that Jack could hardly hear, and he turned away because this had become something that was both difficult to watch and that was none of his business. "Let's go back inside, Pete. Pretend to be grownups, remember?"

Pete said nothing, but let her take him towards the house without another word. Jack glanced back to see Sam turn and nod at him. It seemed the moments of crisis had passed, and Jack found himself wondering what happened now, having his own internal moments of crisis, uncertain of what might lie in the future for all three of them.

There was only one thing he could do right then and that was to get back into the truck and wait. It was as frustrating as hell but, despite his often-edgy demeanour, Jack had infinite patience. He didn't always exercise that restraint but he could call upon that strength at will. So wait was what he did.

*****************************

Once again, Jack fretted about what might be going on inside the house, his thoughts tumultuous and confused. It hurt him deeply to ponder the notion that Sam might decide to go back to Pete and break his heart. Perhaps that would be the right thing for her to do or perhaps not, and she had to do what was right for her, but he wasn't sure how he'd deal with that eventuality if it happened; not after their confessions of love, and his dreams of a future for them in the months to come, when the time was right.

He watched the house in sullen silence, unable to bear even the sounds of the radio, almost dreading the outcome of Sam and Pete's discussions, and her reappearance to inform him of their decisions. Those final intimate moments that he'd seen had been one of the hardest things he'd witnessed in his personal life. The collapse of Pete and Sam's barriers, the laying bare of their emotions, had spoken so loudly of all the good and positive things that must have been in their marriage, instead of the bad that had dominated recent events and been uppermost in his mind since Sam's arrival on his doorstep.

Whatever Sam decided, he would stick by her and support her, even if it did break his heart again. Jack knew she would do the right thing, but until he'd seen that naked emotion in the couple, he had firmly believed that the right thing was for Sam to leave her husband and make a fresh start, and was hopeful that this would include him. Now he wasn't so sure and was filled with doubt.

When Jack finally saw her open the front door, holding a large case, he got out of his truck, wanting to run to her and take her into his arms, but suppressing that urge like he had so many others. Instead he stared at her, willing her to approach, which she did. She walked over and stood in front of the man she was still determined to spend the rest of her life with if she could make that happen - eventually - her eyes reddened and puffy from crying.

"You okay?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern and heart hammering rapidly as he waited for her to say something.

"Yes, no, I don't know. Get me out of here Jack?" she said, lifting the case up into the back of his truck and climbing into the passenger seat without any explanation.

Jack looked up towards the house but could see no sign of Pete, although he suspected that her husband was watching. Jumping back into the truck, he wanted to question her further and thought better of it. Getting away from the place as quickly as possible seemed the wisest course. When they got back to his place he could ask again, that is if they were going to his place. She was all right and that was the most important thing.

"Where to, Sam?" he asked as he started the engine.

"Y-your place, for now? That okay? I-I don't think…" she tailed off and he turned to look at her, unable to discern what she was thinking.

"I told you, whatever you need," he answered, driving off and remaining as silent as she did during their journey.

Jack wished he knew what she was thinking, and what had happened inside the house, but he'd given up trying to figure women out years ago. It made his brain hurt. He was willing to try and take it as it came and deal with the consequences when necessary. He'd let Sam take the lead for now because this was her call. Her total trust in him under these circumstances touched him deeply. It meant a great deal.

On their return to his place, he hoisted her case out of the truck and into the house, urging her to sit on the couch while he made yet more coffee. It seemed like she'd left Pete but he had no idea what that meant for them. However, that fact gave him some pleasure, even though he knew that there would probably be a rocky road ahead. Apart from the potential aftermath of her beating and whatever had passed between her and Pete, she was still married and he was still her CO, for crying out loud!

So far they had done nothing but exchange a few kisses and cuddles, and very innocently shared a bed for a night. They had mainly acted as close friends might and that is what they were, for now. But they had both declared their intentions, and their feelings for each other, which meant they were so way over the line that the line had all but disappeared.

That breach of the regs was unacceptable, even to Jack, who had been known to bend and break them many times before this had happened, but he would sort it all out before they were ready to take the next step, if that next step turned out to be possible. He wasn't sure how yet, but he'd think of something. There was no going back from this anymore. That damned line was irksome in the extreme!

When he entered the living room with their coffees, she was standing by his picture window with her back turned and he could see her trembling.

"Sam?" he queried and she turned to face him, tears falling silently from her eyes. "Oh, Sam, baby, tell me what happened," he said, putting the coffee down, closing the gap and taking her into his arms without any hesitation.

She said nothing for a long time and he rocked her gently, trying to console her, and then she told him everything that had happened from when she'd entered her house to when she had left it again. The words spilled out of her in bits and pieces and she sobbed and shook, trembling in his arms like a frightened schoolgirl. He listened to her in silence, holding and caressing her supportively.

"I think he accepts that we haven't been having an affair, that we are just friends, for now," she said eventually, having calmed her tattered emotions. "I guess he figures that will change because he knows I love you Jack. I hope it will change some day, I really do," she felt Jack's nod of agreement and squeezed him gently, "So we've agreed to a divorce, and to try and make it as amicable as possible. I guess that's the best outcome I can hope for. At least we don't hate each other, right now. Pete knows it's the best thing for both of us. We can both move on from our mistakes."

"I'm really glad that you sorted it out, Sam."

"Like I said, for now. Who knows what will happen in the future? But it would be great if he doesn't end up hating me, wouldn't it?"

"Sure. Sounds like he figures he was wrong to marry you too. That has to be a good thing, doesn't it?"

"I can't stay here, Jack, you know that don't you?" she said, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I know, and it's right that you don't, for both of us. Maybe I can help you find a place to live."

"That would be cool. But after all this is settled I think you're gonna end up stuck with me, and probably forever."

"I can live with that," he responded with a smile. "Whenever you're ready. I'll be waiting, however long it takes. I'll try to sort something out on the regulations thing. I'll talk to George."

"I hope you know what you're letting yourself in for."

"No one knows that for sure."

"I've got one failed engagement and one failed marriage behind me. I always was a screw up with my personal relationships. I have to ask myself why that is, and I wish I knew or understood."

"The people we understand the least in our lives are always ourselves, Sam."

"That's pretty wise."

"What? Coming from me?" he said self-deprecatingly, a half smile on his lips.

"Coming from anyone. Don't try to pull that dumb act with me because I know better." Jack said nothing, so she returned to the subject at hand. "Maybe I'm doomed to fail in my personal life, Jack. I don't want to hurt you again."

"I'm willing to risk it. I want us to try."

"That thought makes me happy."

"Me too."

"One of these days, once we've worked it all out, I'll take you by surprise and ask you to make love to me. And, afterwards, I'll sleep wrapped safely in your arms and wake up next morning with you by my side and ask you to make love to me again. Or maybe I'll make love to you that time."

"I'd like that a lot, Sam, one helluva lot."

"Do you think we can live happily ever after?" she asked, seeking his eyes.

"I think we can give it our best shot."

"Will you kiss me, Jack?"

"Now? I thought we were waiting."

"One for the road before we start waiting for me to be ready for that night I just promised, and for us to sort everything out?"

He didn't reply with words, but with the kiss she had requested, softly touching his lips to hers and then pressing more firmly. His tongue sought entry to her mouth and she opened it to let him pass, so he probed her, gently at first, but with increasing passion and need. When he finally pulled his mouth away, she sighed, eyes still closed, and blindly reached her hand up to his face to caress it tenderly.

"That's my promise for the future, Sam," he said.

"That's one hell of a promise," she replied opening her eyes and looking at him at last. He took her hand in his, kissing her fingers and then, continuing to hold it, moved it away from his face and gave it a squeeze. "I'm really looking forward to that night Jack."

"Yeah, me too," he agreed wholeheartedly.

After that, they let go of each other and sat down, keeping a respectable distance until Sam was ready to leave. They made some calls and booked her a hotel room to move into for a few days while she found a place to live. Jack wanted to help her with that. However much he longed for her to stay there with him forever, he knew that was the wrong thing to do.

Maybe in a few months, or even years, he would do as he'd suggested to Pete and marry her. Perhaps the notion of her having his babies was too much to hope for, but he didn't mind that so much because what he really wanted was her. They would work it out, eventually, or he sincerely hoped so.

After making all the necessary arrangements, Sam rose to leave and he walked her to the door, picking up her case. She approached and urged him to put it down again, reaching to smooth his face. Sam could see his hesitation and then his decision, and moved closer to him, taking his head between her hands and kissing him with such a passion that Jack was left breathless and dizzy with desire.

"You're on a promise, Jack, and that's a small taste of what's to come."

"Wow! That's something to look forward to," he said, with a huge grin, which never left his face, even for hours after she'd left. They'd make it, he was sure of that now, and he hoped that meant he would never need to be lonely or unhappy again.


The End




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